/cgl/ - Cosplay & EGL

>>9752891
London comm had a new wannabe TPC pop up, and it’s run by people nobody knows.

>>9752894
Not really though? The TPC was originally the UK comm, but as local groups started popping up, the TPC group was hosting both the big UK-wide events, and London meets. Hopefully this one stays active, because imagine having to stay subscribed to the New York comm as the only way to get updates on Rufflecon, when you live in Ohio and 98% of the content isn't applicable for you.

Keeping the London community's day-to-day running separate from stuff which is relevant to the whole UK is a good idea, it's just a pity it didn't happen before the TPC annual events stopped - between event announcements to official photos coming out, that's six months of people getting invites to meets which are too far to travel to, because unsubscribing means you miss out on event updates. Most of the Londoners don't care about the official meets in London, let alone the Scots who'd have to travel a solid day for mediocre boba tea with the newbies.

I'm so tired of vegans making meetup planning more difficult for everyone because everything has to cater to them and their self-imposed dietary restrictions. There aren't even that many vegans in the comm, maybe one or two per meet, but the very fact that one of them might want to come to a meet disqualifies the majority of venues because they don't have (enough) vegan options. This means we're stuck with the same three overpriced, not so great venues for every single meetup. This even goes for meetups where zero vegans end up attending, because cries of "exclusion!" arise at the planning stage often before they've even set a date.

I have (medical) dietary restrictions myself and I can't even imagine derailing someone else's meetup plans for my own sake. If the venue doesn't offer anything I can eat and I'm not allowed to bring my own food, I eat in advance and only order drinks. It's not ideal but it's better than dragging everyone else down with me.

>>9754804
Ugh agreed. More and more of my friends are going vegan and it makes me sad I won't be able to get lunch/dinner with them with the exception of only a few restaurants. I don't have a problem with veganism or vegetarianism, but certain places I want to eat in lolita just don't cater to that.

>>9754804
As a vegan, sometimes I just have to suck it up and resign myself to one or two salad options or just tea. They should learn to do the same, it's a lifestyle they've imposed on themselves. There's few restaurants that can't provide at least that, and any restaurant that's worth anything can just modify a few things to make it work. An elegant venue and hanging out with friends is more important than having a big meal.

>>9754804
Once a vegan in our comm cried (as in, sobbing, not exclaiming) at the table in a French cafe because she wasn't sure if her vegetarian dish was 100% vegan. She convinced me that veganism is disordered eating.
>>9754884
But not you, you're one of the good ones.

>>9754901
>She convinced me that veganism is disordered eating.
What the fuck is wrong with some people

>>9754804
Vegan, and I agree with you totally. I know for some people veganism becomes this really emotional, passionate thing, and some vegans cannot accept any view from a “bloodmouth carnist”. You have to learn that you just have to deal with it. Eat before a meet, ask the venue if you can bring outside food, or ask if they have any options. It ain’t that hard.

>>9754933
All the vegans in my comm live souly off bread and pasta, and then throw a fit that venues don’t have those narrow options. Minus the chicken tendies, they eat like picky children.

>>9754935
Yeah it can get ridiculous, I know. I’m sorry you’ve had to deal with it.

>>9754935
I've had adult women in my comm like this but not vegans, just regular omivores that eat like complete shit. Then they have the audacity to say they're "allergic" to the food they dislike when people are doing potlucks or something.

Maybe I'm bitter but if you have a million dietary restrictions and are going to some kind of potluck meet then just bring your own food instead of whimpering about how you can't eat anything.

>>9754978
It makes people with actual issues, like celiacs disease, look like they’re trying for attention.

>>9754884
Same. But my comm doesn't know I'm vegan. We've not been to many food meetups, and I can usually choose stuff that's not got animal stuff in it without anyone commenting.
However I was going to bring it up one time when this girl started bitching about vegans. It started with 'I love cheese, idk how vegans do it' and then everyone started going on about how preachy vegans are and how much they find them annoying.
Like, there's prejudice on both sides, it's a shame that the extremists make it into an us vs them thing on either side of the discussion. I'm not preachy, I just eat what I eat and you eat what you eat. There doesn't have to be the world's biggest fuss over it.

>>9754978
who the fuck goes to a potluck meet without a dish?

>>9755011
This
I’ve brought my own food and people looked at me like I’m the plague

Sorry that I can’t eat dessert I just want tea and to bitch talk whilst in a cute coord

I only get one cheat meal a week (whilst training) and I’m not waisting it in some tiny sandwiches.

>>9754804
Dutch comm? I was especially offended by the comment saying "I'm not coming regardless, but you should pick the vegan option anyway because otherwise it's not ~inclusive~ enough". Like, maybe leave it up to people who are at least interested in going?

Regardless the whole idea of the meet was a chocolate high tea, and now we have to pick between having an actual chocolate high tea while being mean bullies or having a random overpriced high tea that has nothing chocolate-related to begin with.

>>9755014
People who volunteer to bring shit like cups and drinks

>>9755042
or worse, the fucking MOD who volunteers to bring shit like cups and drinks and show up an hour LATE

>>9755091
At least your mod doesn't pre-invite e-famous people to small meets, has them pay in advance before its posted on facebook, and basically be at capacity before payment and event info is even out for the general comm members in the open facebook event.
Might as well be a lonelita at this point since this is the multiple time since I joined that it happened.

>>9754804
Our comm does a lot of themed/seasonal afternoon teas at high-end hotels, and of course vegans want to come and then have the menu changed just for them. The whole point is that it’s a set menu. Then they ask if they can pay less, or my favorite “can I just order tea?”

>>9755014
I try to bring something simple (drinks, cups, premade food), because I'm hauling my ass from 2-3 hours away and paying for gas and parking.

There aren't a lot of things that do really well sitting in a warm car for hours after being made the night before.

>>9755208
Okay? And do you sit and mope that you have nothing to eat when nobody brings chicken tendies and french fries?

>>9755208
Have you heard of a fucking cooler?
Fuckin excuses! If you can’t contribute food or drinks, please don’t show up to a pot luck.

>>9754884
I don’t even want to think about how many $40 plain salads I’ve paid for just to attend lolita meets.

My veganism is due to allergies and I really appreciate when people are willing to eat vegan with me, but at the same time I don’t expect it. I’m fine planning ahead and making sure I’ve had food before going. If you have a dietary restriction you should be used to taking care of yourself honestly.

>>9755091
Tfw you're not sure if anon is talking about one of your comm mods

>>9755273
B-but French fries are vegan!!

Also I had a roommate that was vegan at certain times for religious reasons, and her diet then would exclusively consist of chips with salsa and beer.

>>9755161
I’ve never been to a high end hotel that couldn’t prepare an alternate meal with proper notice. Even brand tea parties at hotels in Japan can do vegan alternatives for attendees.

>>9754978
I’ve seen an adult woman shove all the vegetables off her plate, neglect her salad, eat only the meat and potatoes and then demand that we stop by a fast food place later because she was still hungry. Maybe it’s because you didn’t eat 50% of your meal?? And of course her entire family is fat and she claims that she’s only fat because of genetics. I’d never met so many womanchildren until I got involved with my lolita comm.

>>9755034
>hey I see you’re organizing a meet and I’m not coming but you should still completely abandon your original plans to accommodate me okay bye
Wtf, those poor organizers.

>>9754804
We used to have a vegan in our comm, and it wasn't just food that they'd make difficult for everyone, but meets in general. We planned to go to a zoo but everything had to be changed because of her views.

I mean she's gone now, thank fuck, but it was still annoying as shit.

>>9755278
1. The point of the meet is to eat whatever X special meal set is. Also usually if there is a group, everybody has to order same thing. It’s a huge annoyance for both the meet organizer and the hotel to cater to several different demands in a large group.

2. Vegans request to pay less or expect that they can show up at a fancy place and get a discount or just not pay for their seat.

>>9755307
Why can’t people like this just... not go to that meet? Presumably there are other meets they can still go to. I don’t understand how people can be so entitled that they expect everything to include them a hundred percent of the time and if not, they get to ruin it for everyone else. Who expects a high tea centered around chocolate to be vegan? I’m vegetarian and if my comm had a meet at a steakhouse I’d just be like okay I’ll pass, see you guys next time. It’s like if a comm wanted to do a wine tasting meetup and a bunch of under 21s felt excluded so they made them change it into a boba tea meetup instead. Okay that’s nice, but it was supposed to be a wine tasting meetup...

Anyway I’m happy for you, anon.

>>9755324
omg we have a vegan who always seems to expect that her high teas will be less because shes vegan, when in reality, being vegan can actually cost MORE.

She lives off of tatertots, bread and shitty processed food. I'm not vegan or vegetarian and even I know how to make a delicious vegetarian or vegan meal.

>>9755034
Seriously fuck those vegans. If you are a pathetic shit that wants to bother the rest of us from having a nice high tea, then please get lost. I am so tired of the "vegans". They should get their own private meetings. hippies.

Yes, I am salty af.

>>9755307
Did this person happen to get banned from your con for bad behavior? We had a vegan in our comm that whines and cried when we did meets at the zoo or someone at the table ordered something not vegan. We had to listen to her go on and on about how cruel the animals where treated to go into our meals that will later be shit out. It got to a point that we started making food meetups in private with eachother to exclude her. She didn’t like that and threw a fit that no one was including her. Maybe if you where not an insufferable cunt always arguing about every thing we would want to hang out with you. But she left the state and now is bothering another comm.

Currently my comm is doing well. We have three meets for Valentine’s Day. One that costs money to attend, another is a free potluck in a park and the third is a meet at a rose garden.

>>9752894
I'm in that group, and it seems friendly and well organized so far. I don't know if it will last, but they already have some meetups planned. Seems unfair to call the group a wannabe TPC, it just looks like a standard local comm to me.

>>9755348
I have nothing against 'our' vegans and don't think they have to gtfo completely, but it would be nice if they learned not to impose their own dietary choices on others and that they can just sit out meets that don't work for them. Nobody is going to die if they don't attend every single meetup.

As for separate vegan meets - wasn't there a girl who kept trying to organize a meetup at a vegan restaurant but had to cancel multiple times because there wasn't enough interest? That's kind of ironic.

>>9755208
Almost any baked good. Cookies, muffins, brownies, etc.

I live in a non-Western country and there's only so much that can be done to accommodate people. Local people here almost never ask for modifications to set foods, so when 10 out of 20 people ask for special tea sets just for them, it ruins everyone's experience. The staff is not accustomed to dealing with so many requests, which makes huge delays, tea doesn't come, the service and food quality suffer, the staff forget to bring us certain things, and then everyone complains about it after. Even in other countries I suspect the same thing happens.

>>9755395
Those meets ended up on the same date as other meet ups and they weren't just vegan, one was avocado and the other was raw food. Not my cup of tea personally.

>>9755453
Haha you must go to the same tea meets as I do

Another peeve, people who are accustomed to only eating McDonalds and shit so they turn their nose up at anything that isn’t chicken tendies. If you knew the menu beforehand and your white trash child tastebuds can’t handle it, don’t come

>>9755375
There is always that one person in a comm that causes others to hold private meetings just to avoid them. I like 98% of my comm but not that one creep or that one girl that needs to be babysat. They ruin every possible meet up even before it started because people will bail if they are going sometimes causing a chain effect.

In reply to all of the vegan posts here, there are some people in my comm who have actual dietary health issues, and they are less whiney than all of the vegans. Can't cater to their dietary needs? Thats fine, they will try something else or come along for drinks.

I think it's the born-again-vegans that are mostly the problem, that or they have extreme personalities and have to shove their opinions down peoples throats.

>>9755328
Because that would involve actually being mature, anon.

>>9755472
I think I am in the same comm. As soon as she says that she is going, a lot of other people suddenly have to work. It’s annoying! She also asks very annoying questions. I always try to stay away from her on meets and social media.
I do wonder who you mean with
>that one creep

>>9754978
>say they're "allergic" to the food they dislike
This pisses me off so much. I know several people who claim to be allergic to peanuts and nuts when in reality they have no adverse reactions to them and just don't like the taste. I don't like nuts either, so I don't eat stuff with nuts in it and if there's a pecan on top of a pastry I just pick it off . Easy, and nobody needs to go through the trouble of preparing things separately. I hate how they're making the restaurant worry about the liability of a severe allergic reaction just because they don't like the way something tastes!

>>9755472
There's a girl in my comm who I feel ought to be that person but somehow everyone puts up with her. She's always yelling, complaining, making mountains out of molehills, taking everything personally, getting TMI with people she's just met and admits to stirring shit on cgl for fun but summons her FB whiteknights by crying about bullies whenever someone even politely critiques a coord of hers. I find her insufferable to be around but apparently I'm the only one since she still gets invited to almost everything.

>>9755517
I think a lot of comms have this issue, so you might not be in the same one.

>>9755517
Maybe but every single comm has or had people like this. Unless the comm is exclusive to get into but if that's the case it's probably exclusive because they want to avoid people like this. It can be a teenager who hasn't learned about personal boundaries yet. A mom who brings her brats to a meet up. A cosplay lolita who is "kawaii sugoi!~~~" all the time. Someone dropped off by their caretakers who just wants to wear frilly dresses like a child. A SJW or a some from the alt right that always bring up politics. Literally every comm
has that one person that everyone avoids like the plague.

>that one creep
There is always one. Always.

It really bums me the fuck out as a vegan that other vegan are so fucking entitled to meets, like, don't fucking go to zoo meets, do go to aquarium meets, don't go to restaurant meets if you can't eat the food (or eat prior and settles for drinks/a salad).

Yeah I'm not in to killing animals, but it's not my prerogative to judge other's moral compasses. I keep my mouth shut unless asked why I'm vegan/why an event isn't vegan. Its pretty fucking easy.

Side note: I am also allergic af to dairy.

>>9755559
This is riddled with typos jfc
>don't go to aquarium meets
>settle

>>9755532
They should find a solution for it. It’s not okay dor caretakers to drop of someone at a meet and just hope we will babysit them. We don’t have PHDs in dealing with the mentally disabled.
I personally can’t handle them at all. So it’s really annoying that we have to deal with this girl. I try to avoid contact, but she is quite active on the comm’s Facebook. But if this issue is in more comms, how do you/your comm deal with it?

>>9755470
We have the opposite problem in my comm. I don't mind high end food but once in a while we visit mid or low end food places. Dozens of girls just bail even though they were just complaining about how hungry they are because they turn their noses up at any place that isn't instagrammable or serves free range avocado toast.

How do you deal with itas?

>>9755635
Tight smile if we make eye contact, ignore unless approached, polite responses to questions and comments. I also have the benefit(?) of being a foreigner in my comm, so most members don't talk to me much beyond ehanging small pleasantries.

Group photos are often marred by itas, but they're always nice girls, so I'm never flat out ugly to them. My comm friends and I take cute pictures, and I only post those.

>>9755635
Take them out back and shoot them in the head

Can we stop with the vegan bashing?
Jfc you all say you don't want their opinions shoved down their throats but then proceed to say "fuck all vegans"

You can't have it both ways. You can be an asshole and shut up when someone is an asshole to you, or you can be kind to people with different beliefs and expect they will be kind to you back.
Golden rule. It's learned in kindergarten, folks.

>>9755776
Spot the vegan

>>9755776
the bashing seems pretty valid seeing as how most people are just sharing their bad experiences with them in their comm, as well as how other problem people have affected their meets. Just start a new topic if you want to change the discourse going on. Your post is only going to continue the conversation.

>>9755776
>#notallvegans
I don’t see anyone bashing veganism, I see people bashing vegans who act like entitled assholes about it. Unfortunately reasonable vegans like >>9755559 aren’t the loud ones ruling the roost. If you’re not an immature brat who demands that everyone changes their plans to suit your dietary choices, these complaints are not about you and you shouldn’t be taking them so personally.

>>9755635
how to handle age players in the comm that talk about their kink during tea parties.. urgh

>>9755914

>>9755914
Tell them that Lolita is all about history, and many infants didn’t live past 5 in the Victorian period. So if they want to be realistic they should die.

A general reply to the vegan conversation, my comm doesn't even know I'm vegan unless they're a close friend. I have never understood why other vegans act like that or why they feel the need to shout it to the world. It's a personal choice and you can't casually guilt people into being vegan. Just look at the Christians.

>>9756013
Usually the vegans out there like that are also the same people to post political garbage to spark an argument for the sake of an argument. Same can be said about the lgbt, religious, pro life, and feminists communities. There are people that just want to shit in your soup to make you mad so they can feel like they are oppressed when you throw it back at them.

>>9755931
This made me lol, thanks anon

what should we do if someone in our comm is behaving inappropriately? Like, lifting their skirt up or being rambunctious.

>>9756114
Tell her to stop, tell a mod, disassociate with them if they don’t. Stop inviting them to meets.

>>9756114
Pull her aside and tell her she's behaving inappropriately and in a way that may get your group banned from whatever public place you're at. If she doesn't listen then tell her to leave the meet, and if she won't do that then everyone else just needs to leave her ass and go elsewhere (assuming it isn't like a restaurant or something).

Tell a mod, block her on FB so she can't see your events, etc.

>>9755630
If they don't have cage free bread I'm not going

>>9755510
Oh it's definitely the 'strong personality types' in my comm.

Anyone else's comm overrun by sjw? It wasn't so bad a few years ago but in the past year or so some annoying sjw joined and it's poisoning the vibe.

>>9755520
I have a mild reaction to onions, they fuck my stomach up, and I'll either suck it up or I'll mention it if it's directly asked.
Like, anytime I do I have to explain that yes, onions give me the shits, thanks for not believing me and having me go full tmi.

>>9756248
Has been since before I joined unfortunately.

>>9755111
NYC comm?

>>9756248
It’s not over run but out more famous lolitas in the comm are openly sjw fuckwits that post a lot on their personal and blog pages. But in the group they don’t post that trash since it’s not the place to talk about it. The famous ones don’t attend meets so we don’t have to deal with it there minus the few that are friends with them and only riding their coat tails for attention. It usually goes no where since the girls don’t want to talk about that trash at a meet.

>>9756248
The worst SJWs in my comm have chilled out a lot compared to previous years or left the comm. We no longer have to tiptoe around them in fear of someone going on a tirade about how straight ciswhites are inherently evil and queer/PoC/trans are the flawless heroes we need but don’t deserve. What annoyed me most was how all of them would parrot statements about what was happening in the US while being completely unaware of local issues, even though we’re in a different part of the world with different societal problems. A lot of them wouldn’t even bother to vote in our country’s elections because they were too busy reblogging US-centric stuff on tumblr. Thank goodness that’s over.

Right now it’s pretty chill, but there are a few anti-SJWs who are getting just as annoying as the SJWs were. They’re all newbies who weren’t around for our comm’s SJW era so I’m not sure what their damage is, but once they feel comfortable around you they start ranting nonstop about how horrible SJWs are. The thing is that their standard for “SJW” is “anyone who disagrees with me”. I’ve been called a SJW because I don’t actively keep up with South Park. At least one of them frequents /pol/ and various alt-right sites ~for the memes~ and is clearly picking up on those beliefs. Debunking verifiably incorrect statements she parrots from random alt-right twitter personalities gets you labelled a SJW too, unsurprisingly. I’m sure that she thinks she’s the only non-SJW in the entire comm.

Ughh both sides are so annoying. Why can’t we just talk about lolita??

>>9756249

I totally feel you, anon. I've got some kind of intolerance to raw green leafs (as spinach, lettuce and similar) and everytime I'm eating out I must ask about this, so it really makes me look picky when the truth is I am not (also I am aware I can normally put it apart of my sandwich, but I think is a waste of food, so if I'm not gonna eat it, don't waste it!).
Luckily in my comm they know about this and no one asks about it since I explained a couple of times.

>>9756248
Heard my local comm just booted a dude out just because one of the girls cried creep. Went to one meet and he was the only bearable person there.

I'm just not bothering with these people.

>>9755161
I would absolutely love to attend something like this but most of my comm always seem to be broke and would start complaining about meets getting too elitist.

>>9756249
I had my gallbladder removed two years ago and can’t eat any thing cooked with butter, high in saturated fats, heavy in dairy and greens like spinach or kale. I don’t make the community change their plans because of the food planned for the event. I either don’t eat and enjoy the meet for the fashion and social aspect. I’ll eat something before I go? As I’m getting ready I’ll be able to know what my stomach is feeling that day and eat according to it’s behavior. If not, I excuse myself to the bathroom as needed and do my business. Thankfully most of our meets happen at venues that has a private bathroom per person. So none of that embarrassing “ omg did you know anon let out a massive shit in the bathroom” stories like happened a few years ago here. Yes we shit, it’s a human body function. Some people shit more then others because of medical things.

>>9756358

>>9756368
>are you me
I went through with the surgery last year and I haven't gone to any eating meetup because it's been a hard adjustment.

>>9756276
I'm still kind of new but I've heard stories here and didn't really take them at face value. This was flat out ostentatious though.
I don't want to leave the group since the non e-famous ones still try their best to make the meets open.

>>9756368
Wasn't that bathroom story a selfpost by Kate so she had an excuse to act like she was being cyberbullied and start LACE? I've never heard anyone irl gossip about anyone's bathroom habits because as you said, everybody poops, it's no big deal. It sometimes gets brought up in the feels thread as a forced meme, but the feels thread is kind of a cesspool anyway.

>>9756425
I dont think she did that one initially. Or maybe she did and it didnt get the white-knighting she wanted so she made LACE. Either way, if I were to self post it wouldnt be about poop, it'd be about something that makes me seem less gross than that.

I saw her commenting on a post on RC saying she had type one diabetes and gastroenteritis. I looked it up and its basically infectious diahrroea. Of course it was on that post that was like 'chronic illness lolitas, tell us your stories!!!!!1!'

I would really love it if people shut up about their illnesses. I don't feel sorry for you, I have illnesses too, learn that not everything needs to be shared publicly.

>>9756416
You will have to adjust. My doc said to eat more fiber and grains to keep it from being a mess and coming out solid. Your liver is trying to make up for the loss of your gallbladder and will take time to adjust. Sometimes it takes years for some people. Many people never adjust to pork and fatty meats. But meat is also very important because of the proteins in it are not replaceable by the proteins that vegans eat. The meat proteins help your liver adjust to breaking them down so you later can not have the shits all the time.

>>9756425
I don’t think it was her trying to make her self the victim. But she was caught self posting herself here and bullying herself for attention. The reason the shit thing got so bad was most likely because she was pretty populr already and it’s funny to think that someone so “ polished” in the community let out a massive duce.

>>9755472
The feeling when i'm that one person. I have been to a few meets and when i decide to join people start flaking off. Once i made up my mind the day before, and a whole lot of members suddenly decided not to come for absurd reasons. It is such an awful feeling when you turn up to a meet with bad attendance and know that it would probably have been good meet if you didn't come.

I don't see what i do wrong. I feel genuine about the fashion. And the stuff i talk about fit in with the what the other members like to talk about. So i think it's because i'm a brolita. Now i'm not sure what to do, i'm considering only going to meets that aren't in public, in hope that they wont care that much. I think i look and act decent myself, but i know that there might be something i don't see.

>>9755208
Hot foods can be wrapped in old towels and kept in a cooler. Just load up a crockpot or big tupperware with chilli or meat sauce or what the fuck ever, wrap it up and itll stay hot overnight at least. Crock pot is always an option too, and with an inverter you can run the damn thing in your car.

>>9756470
I don't know why its not ok to talk about something literally everyone deals with.
Cover your ears if you don't like it.

>>9756470
>>9756480
I thought it was a troll initially, and if you look at the archives that's what everyone who replied to it thought, too. Nobody took the bait. But then K8 publicly verified the story and claimed it as the reason she was starting LACE. Either way it was a stupid move, everyone else had forgotten about it by that time.

>>9756606
Everybody poops but that doesn't mean I want to listen to someone describe their diarrhoea to me while I'm eating, thanks.

>>9756618
Sorry to hear about your gag reflex, dork.

>>9756623
Sorry to hear about your bad upbringing.

>>9756626
At least it made me capable of handling things you can't, weakling

>>9756618
I don’t talk about my shit issue in public. Hell only my closest friends know I have an issue since we hang out more often then my community has meets. If someone’s talking about their issues with their digestive system, then they don’t have issues or they use their issues to milk sympathy out of other. I know people shit. It’s not something I’ll talk about unless asked about. But man is it rude to make people change stuff becuase it will give you volcano ass.

>>9756606
Nah I just don't like the grabs for sympathy. Everyone suffers with things, whether large or small, and that's understandable. What I don't like is when people make it their whole thing, which is what a lot of girls I know do. I see a lot of 'I'm a chronic illness lolita, it helps me deal with being ill because of xyz, pity me, if I don't get this release I might just succumb to my illness, look how ill I am all the time." It gets in the way of conversation. Maybe it's because almost everyone in my family has chronic illnesses such as type 1 diabetes and depression, and we don't go telling everyone about every single thing that happens to us in terms of our illness, especially not to people we don't really know. It might just be the way I was brought up but it seems tacky to scream about how terribly sick you are when you're really just trying to grab attention.
It's transparent.

>>9755914
Kick them out. I'm sure you can raise a very valid argument that they make people uncomfortable.
I've only known one age player and I was the only person she ever told and other wise acts very professional and kind and it's not that hard to keep your kinks and intimate life to yourself or very close friends.

>>9756248
Is politics an issue that gets brought up a lot in meets. I lean to the left but I don't bring up my opinions in casual conversation cuz literally who gives a shit what I think. The only person I talk politics with is my husband. Are these she kids typically really young? Is it like an identity thing.

>>9756686
The most annoying ones I know are early twenties, but yeah it’s mostly an identity thing. Us vs them. You’re either woke like us or a -phobic -ist shitlord. This is even more apparent with self-described anti-SJWs because they have named their Other, even if they do throw the term around all willy nilly to describe anyone they don’t like. Whatever they identify as, it makes them feel righteous and superior to the people who don’t identify that way. It’s a juvenile way to see the world but not everyone grows out of it.

>>9756742
Alt right have that damned antifa, SJWs have those damned Nazis... I'm so glad politics doesn't come up in our meets. The most anyone's said was just 'grr, trump'.

>>9756386
dammit, is he at it again? He was kicked out 3 months ago

Anyone have any tips for increasing activity and participation in smaller comms?

>>9757849
>>9757849
Ask them where they like to go for dining and entertaining, then if there's a place several people talk about plan a meet there. Start small and branch out as more people show up at the meets

>>9757864
Oh, I like that idea. Thanks!

>>9757849
Monthly discussion threads like hauls, coord pics/help, projects

>>9756675
I did tell the mods (she even told one of the mods herself) but they won't do anything about her. She even calls herself a Little on LM ...

>>9756686
My comm has a bunch of SJW types And they're pretty open about their opinions at meet ups. It's annoying how they assume all people must think how they do or else they're a bigot. You won't make friends like that

>>9756829
Doesn't make sense. Why would the Comm let him back in when he was booted in the first place only to boot him again?

Also Badouji is a good person. He dindu nuffin.

>>9758342
>Self-posting this obviously

>>9758140
I'm sorry you have to deal with that, Anon.

>>9758342
They didn't let him back in. Once you're banned you're not allowed back. Thank God.

>>9756358
>he was the only bearable person there
doubt.jpg
>>9758320
>>9758379
>>9758480

Might be moving to Scotland soon. What is the comm like?

>>9758471
The Dallas comm actually did let him in because the girl he fucked that got him kicked from the comm forged conversations. BUT he was not satisfied with the consequences and continued to harass people in the community about it. He shit talked the mods and tried to turn people against them. He is absolutely deluded into thinking he did little wrong when he was responsible for his entire mess. The Dallas mods finally removed him at his own request because he wanted to bring that girl down with him, but he is trying to victimize himself since they gave him that option.

>>9758717
>>9758471
I misread this post, but still a response to >>9758342 about how badouji "dindu nuffin"

>>9758717
He really needs to get over it. I guess he assumed that it was a temporary thing and now he's lonely.

Too fucking bad. This is what he wanted.

>>9758700
Where in Scotland? Glasgow + Edinburgh seem to be where the main Scottish comm meet up mostly, Dundee has a handful of Lolita - not sure if they have a full comm there or not, and there's even a Highlands & Islands comm, although I think the Islands comm splintered from the Highland comm due to travel practicalities.

>>9758700
Going egl Scotland ! Or Scottish lolita!!

Paradiso REALLY needs that Hundo.

>>9762157
On the subject of Paradiso, is it worth it if I'd have to travel a very long way? (12 hour drive, ~2 hour flight)
I just want to go to a big lolita event. I've never even been to a con, and I'm sick of roleplaying Momoko minus the shopping sprees.

>>9762169
It's fancy and nice, and it's in a cool part of Kansas City that has some touristy things to do if you've traveled there.
It feels more like a tea party than a con though so your tastes may vary on how worth it the long trip is.

>>9759170
Thanks anon, I'll have a look

>>9759165
Edinburgh most likely.

>>9762194
Because it’s not a con? It’s a three day event with after parties a swap meet, Pageant, fash show, vendors, and guests.

>>9762157
This is a cute idea anon. Stuff it. They are just having fun. Go take your stick in the ass somewhere else.

>>9762315
>>9762194
>>9762169
You’re shit out of luck if you didn’t get your tea party ticket for day two. It’s sold out.

>>9762321
They're releasing more tickets, you have to join the wait list.

>>9762169
Yes because it’s all lolita and no animu weeb mouth breathers

>>9762316
Chill.

>>9758641
>assuming we're talking about the same person
dipshit

I feel like my comm hates me for some reason. I'm hardly a lolcow, and I'm not flaky, I wouldn't consider myself bad at coording since I mostly wear AP and play it safe. It always seems like they organise huge meets and never invite me.

Anybody else in this position? I feel like asking my comm leaders questions about it might start drama, and I hate drama.

>>9762316
Of course it's a fun idea.
But it's a 'fundraiser' only five people can attend and that's stupid confusing, especially since the whole comm got invited through Facebook.

>>9762390
Make friends and stop feeling entitled to shit. No one owes you an invitation if you don't put yourself out there.

>>9762390
Some people don't invite people en masse to meets to avoid flaky RSVPs from people who have no actual intent to come. If your mods are anything like my comm's, they'll probably just shrug their shoulders at you since it's literally not their job to make friends on your behalf.

>>9762390
Idk if your comm is on fb but the way my comm works on fb is that a mod has to do the inviting.

We have like 300 members so a lot of people don't come. That could be why you're not getting invites. Fb is so shitty- I really wouldn't take it personally

LA is having a Misako tea party! Anyone here plan on going?

>>9762390
I get this feeling sometimes but I know it’s mostly my own insecurities talking. There have been several instances where someone tells me they’re planning something at a certain location and ask me for my input, then several months later someone else says “hey Anon, it’s too bad you couldn’t make it to X meet” and I find out that they’ve gone ahead and organized that meet but never invited me. I can’t tell if people are purposefully excluding me or if they simply forget I exist. I try to put myself out there and show interest but I also don’t want to be that person who constantly spams the comm page to ask who’s organizing what.

I'm not the gull from the lolita gen but their post made me wonder.

Have you guys ever been posted by someone in your comm? Or have you been posted and then someone in your comm informed you?

I had the latter happen but I don't know who posted me and I never went full-psycho mode to find out who it was. I've been to numerous meets since then and no one seems to have it out for me.

Would you feel differently about someone if you had an inkling they posted you?

>>9763047
I've had a pic that was only visible to a small part of my comm posted in the ita thread, only to have a bunch of anons reply that my coord wasn't ita at all. It was actually kind of an ego boost since I was still a beginner. I also sometimes read stories on here that sound a lot like interactions I've had with certain people in the comm, but the stories are changed or exaggerated slightly to make the poster look more reasonable and the other person (me) look worse. Of course I'm never 100% certain that the person I had this conversation with is the one who posted it, but it's plausible. There are a lot of girls in my comm who are open about visiting cgl and the handful I suspect of posting about me or my friends are quite immature and bad at concealing their salt even in person. Considering how quick they are to talk shit about someone who they were smiling at and complimenting earlier the same meet it wouldn't surprise me if they're the ones talking shit on cgl as well. There's not much you can do, but I'm always careful about what I tell them. Good thing I have a strong memory.

>>9763103
>I also sometimes read stories on here that sound a lot like interactions I've had with certain people in the comm, but the stories are changed or exaggerated slightly to make the poster look more reasonable and the other person (me) look worse
I swear to god I read this paragraph recently- like a few weeks ago.

>>9762390
Does your comm have meets using Facebook events? Facebook have a bug in some groups that makes only people on the event host's friendlist invited to a group event. That might be the problem?

>>9763110
Now that you mention it, so did I. But it wasn't me who posted that. I think it's probably pretty common, considering the nature of anonymity and all the stories that get posted here.

>>9763000
You don't have to ask, there's an events tab on Facebook groups that you could look through.

>>9763124
It might likely be this. Even mods are having this issue too.

>>9762390
Just send an innocent message and assume Facebook is glitching out for you. Let them know you're having trouble receiving notifications. If it's really a Facebook error, hopefully that helps get you manually invited. If it's not, at least it'll make the mod realize you're feeling excluded and (hopefully) try to help you out.

>>9762462
>>9762717
I do have friends in my comm, and they don't invite me to things. Sorry, I should have mentioned that I also saw my comm as my friends. My comm isn't massive.

>>9763124
Yeah that, but also word of mouth. We always have polls to decide what day to host the meet. It's very rarely somebody just posting a meet in the events tab, but usually fully planned out with everyone's input. Just lately I've seen most of the regular attendees hanging out with each other in huge groups with no announcement of a meet planned. I used to go to meets regularly and considered myself within that inner circle since I spoke to everyone pretty often. It's not unusual for people in my comm to hang out in small groups, and I have no problem with that... but when it's clearly a full blown meet, it just makes you wonder.

>>9763134
Ayrt and the event tab is almost entirely empty, because people make their events separate from the community for whatever reason. Looking at the events currently listed, it appears that only newbies organizing their first meet end up under the community event tab. I don't mind going to the occasional newbie meet but they're always "Harajuku walks", hanging out at some park or at an anime con I wasn't planning on going to.

>>9763150
iktf so hard
It doesn't bother me when people are just hanging out with their friends and posting photos, I'm not that entitled. But lately I've noticed more and more that people are calling them community meetups like "today I wore X for the Y theme meetup with Z community" and I'm just like wait, when was this? Last weekend? I was bored out of my mind last weekend and have the perfect coord for that theme. I don't even live that far away from the location it was held at. At least half the people there are people I get along great with. The heck?

What hurts the most though is what I mentioned in >>9763000, when someone tells me they're planning something and asks for my opinion and then doesn't invite me so I only find out about it afterwards. Surely if they were actively trying to exclude me they wouldn't tell me what they were planning in the first place?

>>9763224
Anybody hosting meets in our comm knows to make them on the group though. I don't think they're dumb.

>>9755328
> It’s like if a comm wanted to do a wine tasting meetup and a bunch of under 21s felt excluded so they made them change it into a boba tea meetup instead

every time i suggest a 21+ meetup there's always some bitch in the comments like "oh but this isn't inclusive of everyone??"

no shit? that's why it's a 21+ meet?

>>9763047
Yes. A couple people from my comm have posted about me on here a couple separate times and it just always reeks of vendetta. It baffles me too because I'm always nice to those people and pretty much be everyone else in my comm, so I don't get where it comes from. I just don't emotionally invest myself in those people or give them anything to gossip about on cgl outside of my appearance. They're free to think I'm ugly/ita/whatever, I don't care.

Also you don't have to go psycho to figure out who it is, sometimes it's not hard to figure out based on the information they're giving on here.

>>9763294
I host 21+ meets all the time to weed out teenagers.

>>9763302
I think needing to known to the point where you're willing to put the pieces together so to speak comes across as crazy to me, sorry.

>>9763103
>>9763302
I think its interesting that so far everyone is a victim in these stories. Does anyone want to admit to being posted for a good reason?

>>9763423
Self-aware assholes try not to be assholes. Other people think being an asshole is cute, or they're unaware. They're not going to recognize their behavior as problematic.

>>9763423
I'm not going to post anymore details about my specific situation because I'd like to be anonymous, but in my situation it wasn't someone trying to get back at me for something I did to them but more so them believing I'm undeserving of certain things because it was something they really wanted. Sometimes I get where they're coming from and don't hold it against them, but sometimes I don't. Mostly I just don't like being brought up on here by people in my comm because I don't want efame or attention from strangers.

>>9763408
It's not hard to figure out who someone is when they're willingly posting too much info on a situation to just "vent" about something publicly with the expectation that I won't see it because they're anonymous on 4chan. I don't care if they want to vent about me together in a private chat and they're entitled to that. Some people just want to treat 4chan as a personal army though and just want to rabble rouse to gang up on people they don't like which is the point where I get uncomfortable with it.

>>9763423
I don’t consider myself a victim. My coord wasn’t exactly ita but it wouldn’t have been out of place in a nitpick thread, and the disagreements turned greentext were just regular disagreements that were changed a bit to make the poster feel better about themselves. It was just weird to see myself turn up on cgl.
Honestly the people in my comm who get posted with anything resembling regularity do kind of bring it upon themselves either by behaving like insufferable twats or by dressing super ita and then poo-pooing everyone’s advice. Unsurprisingly, they’re the ones crying bully and vendetta even if all they got was legitimate constructive criticism.

>>9763645
Can you just shut up already? I'm so sick of reading about this speculative he said she said bs.
The comm thread isn't your personal diary.

>>9763711
That was my second post in this thread, but okay.

There are some lolitas in my comm who are so cheap, they only want to bring napkins or water to a potluck!?

Seriously, if you can’t even contribute what you’ll be eating, just stay home.

>>9763832
I'm just imagining someone bringing an empty milk jug filled with tap water to a potluck.

I've worn lolita for a long time but never been to any meets even though I know theres lolita meetups in my area and I'm part of the comm FB group that I mostly just lurk on.

now I feel like I've just been marked as "the weird lurker". also I'm really socially awkward so I'm afraid they'll just think I'm some weirdo newfag who doesn't care about fashion. :C

>>9763832
I think it's fine to bring water? Not everyone can drink alcohol and soda is gross af. As long as it's like, nice bottled water (as in, not walmart brand thats just bottled local tap), or sparkling water, it can be fine to bring water as an alternative to people who can't have alcohol or sugar in their diets.

what if everybody thinks like that and brings water

it will be meal all of water. very healthy though if not very nutrient

>>9763991
What kind of potluck do you got to where people don't let others know what they're bringing ahead of time???

>>9763606
>people think being an asshole is cute
So most people that post here

>>9763633
I never said it was hard to figure out. I just never put any thought into the details that were being posted. I talked with a mod of the comm, they said it was fine and I stopped thinking about it until that one anon posted.

Seriously- why dig deep unless it bothers you?

Like I'm pretty sure its common for people not to get a long and if you hang around people long enough they'll do something you find annoying and vice versa. Deep down everyone secretly dislikes someone else. Who cares who it is that dislikes you specifically unless you need that persons approval?

I didn't need that anons approval so I didn't go putting details together in some lame attempt to play detective.

Just a reminder, our mods are all people who volunteer their time to deal with our bullshit. Even just a card you pass around and have everyone sign can let them know you appreciate them.

>>9763991
>>9763832
Just FYI to event coordinators, if you are hosting a potluck, have everyone pick and commit to a dish (or serving ware) like a week before the event. This way you don't end up with twelve batches of brownies or whatever.

There are usually a couple of people who can't or don't want to cook (or bring something), so I usually have those people buy/bring cups, utensils, drinks, etc. if I'm not planning it all myself.

>>9763979
Just go to a meet

Joined a comm for the first time recently and I feel weird for complaining about this but they have so many things planned! I want to go to everything and make friends but I don't think I can and that makes me sad.

>And I think it's a fairly new comm so I wonder if they're going to be able to sustain this level of activity

>>9762253
Scottish Lolitas tend to organise more Glagow meets, EGL Scotland run more Edinburgh meets. If you visit the Highlands, Highland J Fashion tend to show pretty welcoming hospitality to travelling/visiting Lolitas.

>>9764930
My comm is super active like this. It's pretty great because you don't actually have to go to every single meet to get to know everyone. You can skip every other one.

I think there was a point where we had a meet every weekend for about two months

>>9763984
I can understand where you’re coming from, wanting nicer brand bottled water but you just strike me as being tacky enough to actually complain about something so trivial.

>>9764495
i've been a mod in my comm for years and ive never even gotten a thank you for all the time and effort i put into this. I do this because I want to and I love my comm but a thank you from time to time would be nice (i dont think regular members understand the stupid shit we have to deal with sometimes)

>>9754978
I hope this isn't someone in my comm. I'm legit allergic to eggs and it's not because I didn't like the other things. I just didn't want hives.

>>9766548
As a fellow unloved mod who organizes the entire comm alone, I propose a mod appreciation month!

>>9763979
If you wear it a lot and wear it decently then people will know that you care about the fashion. If someone asks why you didn’t come to a meet earlier you can just say you’re shy or that you were busy with school or work or whatever, it’s understandable. A lolita who wears the clothes but doesn’t come to meets is still a lolita.
The kind of lurkers people are uncomfortable with are the ones who don’t wear lolita and have been “planning to start wearing it” for a long time without any kind of progress, or cosplayers who bought a Bodyline dress to a con one time and wear it like any other cosplay, or of course creeps who are only in the comm to “admire” those of us who wear it who aren’t content with just following our public instagrams but for some reason want to see us discuss meetup plans and our private lives, too.

>>9764495
>>9766548
>>9766585
I’d be down for a mod appreciation month. I also think it would be good for mods who feel underappreciated to be more open about the kind of work you do, because it’s not always apparent to regular members. If you do a lot of behind the scenes work that nobody is even aware of then it makes sense that people don’t regularly express their appreciation, since they have no idea how much work you do. One mod of my comm recently mentioned that she has to deal with rude creepers on a weekly basis and I had no idea because this all happens over PM and private mod chats.

>>9755091
Are you in my comm

>>9766670
Are you a fellow HTown lolita?

>>9763984
I think bringing regular water is dumb/cheap because you can just get water from the tap, but I usually bring iced tea and a couple kinds of sweeteners because I hate soda and it's always the only thing available. I still end up feeling cheap because I'm usually the only one who drinks it, but there's literally no option other than soda otherwise unless you want tap water.

>>9763832
i could see a case of water (24 pack) especially if its an outdoor picnic on a warm day or if its like they bring napkins, plates, cups and utensils (still can be cheap, $4 but at least the group is then prepared for all the food).
but bringing a jug of water or a small pack of napkins? i think someone in my comm would be catty enough to make a comment

>>9762390
it may be a fb issue. Our mod has to post multiple times saying that shes only allowed to invite so many people/her facebook friends before it just wont let her even though the page is open/public, and yet people still screech that theyre not being invited. If you can see the event and if its public/open to the comm/group it might jsut be a buggy facebook issue and the mod doesnt have time to @ everyone they missed.

>>9763047
a friend and i had a falling out and we vendetta posted photos of each other but other that that its only the ultimate fat itas or the fetish brolita that gets posted.
We had a few people get posted who have since moved away get posted which is clearly vendetta because theyll choose a somewhat ita coord of someone and crop out everyone, including extremely ita coorded who are standing next to them. its hard to tell if its a new vendetta or someone in the old comm still mad at them since the picture is from when she was a member of comm.

>>9763984
>nice bottled water

oh ho, you know nothing about bottled water

>>9767964
Zephyr hills is a good example.

>>9767897
>only the ultimate fat itas or the fetish brolita that gets posted
Not true.

>>9767975
Are you in their comm?

>>9767982
Where did they say only from their comm?

>>9767994
It’s implied. The rest of that post is about their comm, so why would that one sentence not be?

>>9768037
>implying
They replied to my original post which was not just about comms. They talked about posting one of their friends but then went on to say that ONLY fat itas and brolitas are getting posted.

Ita thread contains more than that. I don't really care if they were talking about just their comm or not and like I said - they replied to my original post. We don't really need to discuss but my beef is about people being posted in general and not just what happens in some randoms comm specifically.

Like that's a great story, Mark, but I want to know personal shit not what may or may not be happening to other people you know.

I feel bad. My local comm is very small, but trying, and the local mods are super active. I just don't have the energy to do more than one loli thing a month, max, and then I prefer to do something with the giant community a few hours away.

I know I'm being a flake and not supporting my local comm, but I'm just so tired.

>>9755161

Our comm is really large and has members who have gluten issues (real issues, doctor's diagnosis and everything) and we also have a good percentage of vegans/vegetarians and those two worlds do NOT mix well.

And I'm over in the corner with food allergies making the whole thing worse. I'll pay for the full set and just trade away the items I'm not sure I can eat.

>>9768055
im that anon, i only ment that those are the kinds of people to get posted from my comm.
I should add that almost no one posts to COF. Its exclusively to their facebook page and their small following on instagram. Were also kind of isolated so we arent the type of comm to have 50+ lolita friends from out of state/country etc.

Ita threads majorily seem to be COF and amino reposts. So that may be why only the really overweight itas and creepy brolitas get posted from my comm. Creepy brolita also crossposts his stuff to fetlife and was in another comm or two where he started drama and one of the bigger girls is a UGUPLUSUSAIZUMODERU with a blog where shes been known to warp stories making her look crazy.

>>9766609
>I also think it would be good for mods who feel underappreciated to be more open about the kind of work you do

While I don't think you're wrong, I don't know if it's reasonable to ask someone like >>9766585
to do everything and also point out they're doing everything. Mostly because it's one more thing they have to do when they're already running everything, helping new members get settled in, etc. Comm members need to pull their heads out of their pettis and realize modding is work. I think mod appreciation month is probably the best idea. Should we move the discussion to RC to get more traction?

>>9768055
This is the local comm thread. People are going to talk about their local comms.

>>9769201
Absolutely, we should move to RC. Emphasis on local comm mods but online comm mods shouldn't be left out either. I imagine we'd want to choose a month that didn't fall under either ILDs. Maybe something in the spring/fall.

The UK comm feels so fucking dead. I'm pretty sure I'm in one of the most active comms god knows how those unlucky fuckers down south feel.

Is anyone hoping to go to the Ireland thing?

>>9769333
EA comm?

>>9752891
Fortunately, in my country the lolita communities have already died. There is only one small community that is a mixture of j-fashion ita shit. It's just a VIP group of "friends" who afterwards speak badly of their "friends".

>>9769201
I was mostly talking about mods like the ones in my comm who mostly do behind the scenes stuff. I’ve heard several of our mods complain that the comm doesn’t appreciate them and lolitas are so ungrateful, but these were mods who never organised meets or started discussions, and weren’t really visible to the rest of us. With one of them I was surprised to find out she was even a mod because she seemed so inactive. They don’t owe it to us to blog about everything they do but if they want appreciation, they can only get that from people who are aware of the work they do.

The Ohio comm said that they had some fun activities planned for Lolita crush at Ohayocon, but it was far from that. Nothing has changed in recent years. I’m not surprised, just disappointed.

What’s the etiquette on selling or regifting gifts from community gift swap meets? I’m doing a closet clean out and selling a bunch of stuff and a few of the things that ended up on the pile are things I received at gift swaps. Would it be considered rude to list these on LM? If so, would it be better or worse to list them for free?

I asked my no.1 etiquette reference (grandma) and she said it would be terribly rude to get rid of these pieces and even not wearing them is rude. But to be honest they stick out like sore thumbs in my closet and I get the feeling that the people who gave them to me didn’t read my messages at all. Like I mentioned that I don’t wear pink and don’t like big headbows, and one of the gifts is a large bright pink headbow. None of my friends wear stuff like this either so I can’t regift it quietly offline.

>>9770374
I think when you give someone a gift, it's not the object; it's the intention. The memory of receiving it and how you felt right there, is more important than the physical object.

I could suggest 2 things:
> sell the item for whatever price you get it; share the money for a nice event or small gift. Unless you don't have much contact with this person, then keep it for yourself.
> trade the item. Taking money in return could make you feel guilty, so try to trade it for something you do like. That way you still have the intention of the gift, and yet something you like.

>>9770374
Occasionally I post in my comm asking if anyone wants pieces I no longer have a place for in my wardrobe, and give them away free (or just pay postage). Could this be an option here?

Can someone from the NJ/NY/PA area give be the backstory on the Mach events controversy? I saw the blast this morning about the owner stepping down due to “allegations about issues with consent” and I figure with the amount of lolitas that attend the various fairs, someone prob knows what happened.

Yeah the Lolita Crush was meh. But they shouldn't have let anyone and their uncle in it. That and the paper cups tea,no.food. Wonder if that after tea party was any better?

>>9771121
I heard that 10 people showed up. Yikes.

>>9770374
Regift that shit homes

>>9770374
Thank you for reminding to never sign up for gift swaps unless it's between friends. Also anon I'm so sorry that you got paired with shitty people who don't bother to consider what their partner would like.

I say sell it if it's worth anything. They didn't put any thought into it, why should you?

>>9770374
Yoo
Why don't you help out the host of your next meet by offering something up in a raffle?
Bring a couple options just in case whoever gave it to you is attending.
Unless it's handmade, then just regift or toss.
Everyone in my comm is sweet, and I got a country/sweet gift once that I helped raffle off.
The newbie that got it was super excited it was brand.
Wins all around

>>9771106
I'm amazed this is the only post talking about that on all of /cgl/. This giant trash fire deserves it's own thread.

Very very long story short, Jeff has financially wronged many vendors, performers, staff, and volunteers over the years. A few weeks ago, he posted a call for volunteers on Facebook and FL, some people he wronged complained about him, other people he wronged saw it and chimed in with their complaints; the signal boosting led to even more people he wronged seeing it and complaining; and soon, a full-on internet lynch mob was formed.

And in that giant shitball, are few people mentioned consent violations, which sadly are bound to happen at kink events.

Given our culture's current, toxic, #metoo LISTEN and BELIEVE atmosphere, people who couldn't care less about provable financial fuckery eagerly picked up torches and pitchforks as soon as they heard about unprovable, iffy "consent violations".

Fortunately, it seems Wicked Faire will go on as scheduled this weekend, and hopefully things won't fall apart afterwards. No one did conventions quite like Jeff Mach did, and I hope that the people who are stepping up to replace him can replicate his magic, and do it without screwing over the very people who made his conventions so worthwhile.

>>9772363
Jesus I had no idea it was that bad. I’ve been to SPWF a few times but only once as a vendor. It was a shitshow in its own right, with many many issues with the host hotels and other guests not part of the con but at the time Jeff (and the rest of the staff) seemed really dedicated to fixing shit so I’m actually pretty shocked. Granted this was only like the second or third SPWF so we’re talking years ago. It really is a shame cus other than our issues (which again were 100% with the hotel staff being outright assholes), that whole con was super well set up and had a great location.

Where do lolitas in Boston go for tea? I might be going up there.

>>9773458
The cons are amazing when you're an attendee (I'm packing for Wicked Fair right now, I've been to every one) and if you're a vendor or staffer and Jeff treats you right (which is most of the time) it's a great experience. But it seems like a few people got screwed every year, some of them very influential or respected; and that adds up over a decade.

>>9773833
Yeah when I was a vendor the issues were pretty major but like I said they were the hotel being shitty. One of the vendor rooms was this weird internal meeting room with no AC, no windows, no fans, only one door, and was down a hallway that didn’t even look like you were supposed to be there. The hotel listed it as available space but didn’t actually indicate where it was when they booked it so it also wasn’t included on the con maps. At one point on that Saturday a few hotel employees came in and forced everyone to immediately close up their booths and locked the door an hour and a half before schedule. They then lost the key when con staff tried to let us back in to actually properly close up. There were also a lot of issues with a girls swim meetup at the second hotel, typical kid shit like screamimg from balconies and defacing shit and pulling the fire alarm at 2 am but the staff also wouldn’t say anything to them either. I know steampunk has a tendency towards asshats but you’d think with the sheer amount of money the convention brings in (especially drinks ad food) they would be more wary of losing that contract.

i want to kill myself but i dont want anyone to have my brand

>>9755091
Lol I'm surprised at how often I see HOU lolitas here. But this definitely sounds like a mod in the com.

>>9769277
Seems like the general consensus is say thanks, and get them food if you want to go the extra mile. I'd say if you know a lot of people in your com, go ahead and arrange a thank you for the mods. You know there are people too freaked out about the whole lolita thing to remember that meets are work, and besides being a good guest, a thank you is appreciated.

>lolita is a fashion that's meant to be worn out and walked around in and at the core meant to be looked at
>comm organizes a meet at an ice skating show where you sit in the dark on dirty seats for more than an hour
why
and they wonder why almost no one attends meets

Apparently I have no local comm? Any Lolitas in the western middle VA area? Like Augusta County, VA USA? Or somewhere nearby?

>>9775595
>lolita is a fashion that's meant to be worn out and be looked at

>>9771121
Too many brolitas in ill fitting offbrand coords, home made or cobbled together ita, and cosplayers.

>>9775543
Anon don't kill yourself. Do something you usually don't do today that would make you happy.

>>9775543
live for wearing your brand. just wear it today and feel beautiful.

>>9775543
please call someone. please. you're not alone.

Post burandos

>>9775543

I feel you anon.

>>9767451
NAYRT, but wait which meet was this?? I’ve not been very active recently so I haven’t been following what’s going on in our comm

I just recently realized how mean/dramatic my local comm is and now I feel weird about going to meetups because I don't want to associate with people like that. I know I'll miss hanging out with other lolitas but I'd rather wear it by myself than hang out with a bunch of petty people. I also feel like all online sources of lolita content are usually mean-spirited and I'm not sure how to get my EGL fix anymore. I've defaulted to reading old Gothic Lolita Bibles and using only Instagram. Does anyone have any advice? Sorry if this isn't a good thread for this but I wasn't sure where else to put it.

You could buy other fashion magazines, like melt, those come out monthly.

>>9775652
deny it all you want, but everyone wears lolita for at least a little attention

>>9775652
Nayrt but EVERY fashion is meant to be looked at. If you truly didn’t care how you looked you’d be wearing comfy sweatpants instead of spending money on beautiful dresses. If I’m out with my comm I’d want to see their coords, not sit around in the dark.

Someone just recently joined my comm and added me on FB and I'm honestly a little worried about her. I haven't met her in person yet, but we've talked a little online and I'm afraid she's going to be a huge headache. She's in her 20's but from the stuff she posts I honestly thought she was about 15; super immature and jealous sounding towards anything. She's begged people online to slander businesses and wreck their online ratings on her behalf because she wasn't happy with them for very insignificant reasons, posts about how awful basically everything around her is, and recently posted something I felt was aimed at me about how people shouldn't share the dresses they're buying on FB because it hurts her that she can't buy them, too (which it's worth mentioning that she is extremely wealthy and her parents pay for everything except lolita, which she has to buy on her own because they don't understand it). Our comm got rid of all the drama starters a couple years ago and I'm afraid she's going to be a big one once she gets to know people and sees the stuff they own that she wants. What's the best way to avoid people like this? I don't even know her and I already feel like she's making passive-aggressive remarks at me...

>>9773796
Thr harbor.

>>9775894
How do you feel about travel? I'm not a big fan of my local comm so I road trip out to other comms for big meets.

>>9769201
As a mod, mod appreciation month sounds a bit lame. People already vy for mod positions in my comm because they think it makes them powerful and loved as it is, lets keep adoration out of it.

>>9780634
The mods I know are constantly complaining about feeling underappreciated.

>>9769333
Certain places are alive and well, some people just have to suck it up and be prepared to travel if they want a meetup. It's common practice to travel 2 hours in the states to get to a meetup, so if you live in some backwoods village in the middle of nowhere you're going to have to suck up the train fare. It sucks but we do what we have to do. I take an hour train to get to my 'local' comm because I'm in a city that has zero jfashion/art students.

>>9780635
what on earth are they doing that makes them feel so entitled? Genuinely asking, I just don't know how that would even work.

>>9780644
Dealing with creeps and organizing meetups I think? When people asked them what the work entailed out of genuine curiosity, they got upset and instead of answering complained about community members being nosy, entitled and ungrateful. Damned if you care, damned if you don’t.

>>9780672
That's so fucking stupid, it's not a paid position. Mods like that should step down. Dealing with creeps isn't hard, just ban the creeper. What's this bullshit with people acting as if it's super hard?

Hosting meets, sure. But people should thank the meet host anyways, that's just politeness. They don't deserve gifts because they scheduled something.

>>9780774
Yeah, I wouldn't say mods need gifts, but a little thank you does go a long way.

Depending on meet size, it's not just an issue of scheduling, some mods book fancy venues, arrange catering, gather raffle prizes, and so on. Not rocket science but not quite as simple as calling a restaurant like "hey y'all got room for 10 people next Friday?"

Mods in my comm have poured a lot of money into various aspects of meets (by choice, mind you, not for praise, they just wanted to do a good job) and have gotten all sorts of shit from problem members. Right down to death threats. Yes, these members were banned but it's still shitty and stressful and people don't realize how much energy it takes to wrangle a herd of lolitas sometimes. Sometimes, a "hey, just wanted to let you know the meet was fun and you did a good job" is just the refresher you need to keep on going and giving it your all.

>>9780634
We couldn't get anyone to be a mod so I had to do it and frankly, it's a bit of a drag.

>>9780672
That's so bizarre that they wouldn't just say what they do. Your mods sound shitty.

Admittedly, as a comm mod there have been times where it's been a lot to deal with, but that's only during spikes of drama (rare, thankfully), or when nobody else is stepping up to host meets when you're sick/busy/need a break. Other than that it's plain sailing, and honestly really enjoyable. We're pretty strict on who we let in to the comm in the first place so I guess that takes a bit of stress out of it.

Maybe I'm weird for enjoying being a mod, but I just love that our local comm is growing. I was handed the job out of the blue when the former mod couldn't do it and didn't know anyone else well enough, but now there's four of us sharing the job and I love it. It's so heartening to see newbies make new friends, inspire each other, and improve or gradually find their own style from meet to meet.

>>9780448
The only way to win is to not play. Disengage and ignore, don't take the vaguebooking bait.

>>9780448
Either disengage like the other anon said, or let a mod know if they start to get pissy at people. She sounds like a nutcase.

>>9780448
I know exactly who you're talking about

>>9773796
The Harbor Hotel, Taj, Langham (which is hit or miss if it's a large party but good if it's you and a friend), and Boston Public Library.
I'm not sure if the Ritz here does tea but it's worth looking into.

>>9782152
>>9782166

I've never been one to vague book so I certainly won't do that at all, but I think I'm just going to try to completely ignore her and hope she doesn't take any interest in me/getting to know me.

>>9782223
Are you concerned too?

>>9782389
I'm not in that comm but I kinda know her and am Facebook friends with her. Ok so I don't think she's looking for drama or anything, but she's really immature and gets jealous very easily, I can tell she's spoiled. But she was pretty harmless and nice the times I interacted with her.

Idiots have already replied trying to help the begging baby.

>>9782451
Is that supposed to be Yamanba? Yikes.

>>9782451
cap the responses? where was this posted?

>>9780672
It sounds like this mod probably just wanted to vent. Some mods really do a lot of work and no one gives a shit.

>>9756114
reminds me of a story.
>be at con out of town, there with a lot of cool friends
>meet a girl from way outta town, let's call her "moon"
>moon is wearing a cute pink coordinate seems pretty nice and knew a few of my friends pretty well
>moon partakes in drinking with us, all good we were having fun
>she gets disgustingly drunk, and I was drunk too but this was like embarassing
>she rolls on the floor, skirt up, can straight up see her panties
>picks fights with people, bites them, stomps on their feet
>threatens to fight me over pronunciation of a word (I was right)

>>9756114
Personally I just avoid people like this as much as possible because mods in my comm won’t do anything, and I get the impression that speaking out would make me the bad guy. There’s one girl in particular who’s always loud, inappropriate and obnoxious and whenever she vaguebooks about ‘haters’ it seems like half the community swoops in to kiss her ass and tell her how she’s so great and the haters are just jelly. This is someone who flashes her panties to the entire public park every time we have a picnic, yells at passerby’s for even just looking in our direction, tries to climb public artworks like she’s in a playground and dresses like a huge ita. She’s been posted in the ita thread several times (never by me) and for some reason my comm is convinced that this is all the work of a single vendetta-chan even though her photos are public and she’s legitimately ita as fuck. Her obnoxious behavior has ruined multiple meets for me but at least two of the mods are her friends so the best I can do is try to avoid her. It’s so fucking annoying.

>>9782918
who dissss

we had a quiet, pure facebook page for our comm for so long. too long.

>>9782706
>>9782451
it's from a US comm page, east coast. i love the lowkey snark of the bottom response

>>9752891
the dutch lolita comm is having an embarrassing moment (with 2 lousy barely even lolita's) hosting a gift swap meeting. they can't get their shit sorted, changed plans a few times, can't get visitors to pay on time and now suddenly expect people to bring food along. it's too bad most of them already got their gift swap person a gift.

>>9783718
I'd hate to be the person that got you for the gift swap because you seem like someone who'd nitpick the fuck out of whatever you got and then would complain to other people about it. I don't blame the organizers for STB cancelling on them. We did end up with a private room somewhere in Utrecht and the date didn't change. And is a potluck really that bad? Just buy a bag of chips or some cookies. After buying gifts I think most would prefer not to spend 20 euros on a high tea.

>>9783721
would have been nice to mention more clearly since most of us come with public transport. but seeing you seem to be stepped on your toes you're either friends with the host or the host herself.

>>9783721
I assumed the deal was that we brought food for ourselves, not for everyone and their vegan lactose-intolerant grandmother. I have no interest in anyone else's food since I'm on a strict diet so I'm just eating beforehand and bringing nothing. I bought a really nice gift already, but if I hadn't I would've bailed on this meet so hard, it's an absolute mess.

>>9783734
I'm not going to feed other people, either. I came for a swap meeting and not to feed other people. The whole bring-food-thing is not even in the description that's how much of a mess they are. Not to mention they suddenly put up a poll for a different date and then later a new location.

>>9783718
>lolita's
Don't do this. Are you even old enough to be on 4chan?

>>9783739
>>9783731
It seems that all of the changes are the result of Summertales being no longer available on that date. I was honestly relieved we got a new location as Summertales is a pain to get to anyway. It's also not as if there are a lot of affordable venues available with private rooms for 30 people.

>>9783718
If it was at Summer Tales Boutique people still had to bring food. Because that wasn’t included in the €3! The €3 was only rent and some tea. I really don’t understand all this complaining, you sound like all those other scrooges that complained about having to pay €3 for the location in the first place. Did you expect to sit in the Bagels and Beans for free? Do you know how much their bagels and drinks cost? It isn’t much more than the rent+potluck. You would have been obligated to order food at B&B as well.

I do have to agree that the organisation isn’t the best. They should have known beforehand that B&B was a 25 person max and that a 20 person limit would have been better. (If you look at how crampy the Beginner meet was.) So the shock that it wouldn’t fit shouldn’t have been a surprise. (But hey you want your friends to be there right!) They couldn’t have forseen STB dropping out, so they can’t do anything about that. They also can’t do much about the people not paying on time. That’s just the shitty mentality of the comm members! With paid meets people always pay too late or not, that’s why we don’t have many of them. (Dutchies love to bail.)

>>9783734
Are you new? We never have meets were everyone brings their own food!
You also don’t have to make food that includes everyone. Just get something you like, you don’t want to get stuck with food that you don’t like. Also you don’t have to get 30 pieces of X. Just get a few, like for 6 people so 6 pieces of X or just one role of cookies. If everyone brings a bit of food it will be enough and nobody get’s stuck with leftovers. It also gives you the chance to eat different things, instead of just your own sandwich. You also don’t have to watch everyones allergies. There are always enough people who keep them in mind, so you can bring other food as well. But, if both you and >>9783739 decide to bring food for just yourself, then also don’t eat the food others!

>>9783768
nayrt but why are people so rude to phone posters? Calling out that typo just makes you seem autistic because most people can realize it was a phone mistake.

But for next year, I do hope there will be some changes. Like a pre-given limit of attendees, preferably 20, so that you don’t have all these location changes. Also with a smaller numbers of attendees you can still sit at one table and see each everyone unwrapping their gifts. I also hope they will raise the minimum amount for gifts to €25, so you can give better/more Lolita related gifts instead of just cheap cutesy stuff. It hopefully also keeps out the cheapass cosplayers and Lolita-enthusiasts. It sucks having to buy gifts for someone who doesn’t even wear the style. (Because you will most likely have no idea what they like.) It also sucks when they buy a present for you as they often don’t know where to buy propper stuff. (Not everyone loves Claire’s you know.)

>>9783835
I see it more as a typical Dutch mistake than a phone mistake. You don't add apostrophes to make something plural in English like you would in Dutch. And why would a phone add an apostrophe? Just type lolitas. Your phone likely doesn't even know the word lolita let alone lolita's. And it isn't hard to capitalize letters on a phone either.

>>9783823
>>9783837
I already mentioned I have literally zero interest in anyone else's food as I am restricting my diet. What do you want me to bring, oats and yoghurt? Because otherwise I'll have to bring something just for other people to eat that I myself will not be eating. I'm not new, I just assumed that since food wasn't included in the venue, food was an each takes care of his own situation.

The limit of 15 euros also bothered me a little bit, but it's certainly not impossible to buy a lolita-appropriate gift at that price point. I bought a brand accessory for my giftee, and on my search saw many secondhand brand items that would've fit within the budget. There was also more than enough time to get things shipped overseas. There really is no excuse for skimping out and buying whatever you could find in your local store and I will be judging anyone who didn't at least attempt to think of a nice gift for the person they were assigned to.

>>9783837
Agreed. Next time m and c, especially c since she is not even lolita, should either not host, or get their stuff together before making an event official. It's called good planning.

>>9783845
We were originally supposed to go the Bagels & Beans. You would have been the person with a stupid diet you were complaining about. Any other kind of venue would have obligated you to buy food. Because of the venue the host found you can bring your own crap. So I don't see why you are complaining. You could bring anything you'd like. No clue what your diet is but even apple or cucumber slices would more than welcome.

>>9783845
I understand but don’t you think it’s weird not to bring anything? Also I am really curious, what would you have eaten if it was at Bagels and Beans? Nevertheless, even though it was not mentioned in the event description, I still think it’s a bit of a weird thing to assume that everyone has to take care of his own food. We never do that!. Also I have to say it was was mentioned in a comment somewhere that even in the STB scenario it involved people taking food for everyone to eat. You could offer to bring plastic cups or spoons or anything, or water. There always is a scenario in which you can use those personally.

It’s not impossible indeed, but I seriously doubt the abilities of a certain amount of attendees, especially the type of people I mentioned in my post. It’s easy to get something secondhand for all the styles, but I don’t think they even know where to look.

>>9783404
Lol I saw this too. For a second I thought it was in RC:U and was about to write a bitchy response but then I realized it was on the comm page.

>>9783858
>>9783855
My main issue is the fact that originally this was a restaurant meet up, which is what I signed up for and not a bring food for everyone meet up which I would've probably not signed up for. I do think it's weird not to bring anything, and that's precisely why this situation is undesirable. If I didn't want to eat anything at Bagels and Beans then that would've been my choice, but not eating anyone's food and therefore not bringing your own to share either is seen as rude. I probably will end up bringing something because I'm not a rude bitch, I just hate how this meetup was organised, or rather disorganised.

Is it bad that I want to join the local lolita community just to make nerdy female friends? I'm not actually interested in lolita but i'm pretty much desperate at this point.

>>9785239
I know this is probably bait but are you willing to shell out at least $50 on pettis, $70-100 in blouses, at least $100 on main pieces (that's assuming if you go for the cheapest and shittiest taobao ever) and god knows how much on shoes and accessories to match your dresses, then pay for customs and shipping on that too, just to have a cohesive wardrobe so you can hang out with some girls and wear a fashion you don't like?

And that's assuming you're getting like, 6 jsks, maximum. I did say the cheapest taobao.
If you want to look decent, you'll be spending way more than that. Join a DnD group or something if you want nerdy friends, I know plenty of girls, myself included, who aren't into japanese or nerdy things. We just like the clothes. Sure, some lolitas will be into the things you're into, but if you don't give a shit about the passion that we're meeting up for, then why are you even bothering?

>>9785239
I don’t think this will work out for you, because lolitas generally don’t appreciate it when people with no actual interest in the fashion try to get involved with the community. It happens a lot, with fetishists and cosplayers and lonely people like you. They’ll see through you quickly and won’t want to be your friend, because who wants to be friends with someone who is only faking interest and joined their hobby community under false pretenses? Save yourself the trouble and join a community for an interest you actually do have, because it will be more enjoyable for everyone involved. That’s not to say you can’t be friends with lolitas as a non-lolita, of course. Just don’t pretend to be into something you’re not. It’s weird.

>>9785239
What makes you think that you can meet nerdy female friends when joining a Lolita comm? I think the Cosplay comm might be a better place for that.

>>9785239
I know a lot of lolitas who aren't into any kind of nerd culture, they just like the fashion. So good luck but honestly YMMV

>>9783844
Nayrt, but my phone also does it. I have the Google keyboard and use swipe so it'll just choose one of them, sometimes switching to another word when I swipe the next.

>>9785239
If you want nerds join a fairy-kei community.

>>9785242
>>9785292

You make a good point

>>9785334
ok

>>9785239
I'll be your friend anon. Not even trolling. The more the merrier

>>9783835
Regardless of what other anons here will tell you- shitting on phone posters is common on other boards. Hence why its spreading here.

>>9785842
Seems kinda pointless as people on this board are more likely to be on their phones.

Any other comms with mystery people? They will vote on the polls on the event pages but they will always make a post about not being to make it for whatever reason. Even after years they have never shown up but think people care about whether or not they'll make it. Or they put themselves on going and post about going but never show up.

>>9788001
My comm has a three strikes rule. If someone RSVPs and doesn't show they get a strike. Usually works pretty well.

I tried my best for the gift swap meet, and while meeting the budget and keeping the wishes of the person I'm shopping for in mind, I feel like it isn't enough.

I have an accessory matching their style, a smaller accessory with a similar look and feel as one of their dream items, a cute prepacked piece of candy as a stuffer and a handmade accessory in similair spirit of one of mine that they made nice comments about wanting one too.

If you were to recieve this /cgl/, would you be content?

>>9788001
My comm has a lot of flakes who will put themselves on going and then wait until the day before, or sometimes even the morning of the meet to go ~oh no I just realized I can't make it UwU. Meetup hosts have complained about this behavior a lot, but mods won't do anything serious about it because a few of the mods are equally flakey. It's annoying as fuck and I've started simply messaging everyone who put themselves on going a week or a few days in advance of the meet or payment deadline to confirm that they're actually going to pay or show up.

Most of these people have been to a few meetups before, though, so we know who they are and what they look like. There are also a handful of people who have never been to a meetup who have anime icons, weeb nicknames and no photos on their profile, and generally don't participate in group discussions or anything else. Then when they're invited to a meetup they'll make a post about how they can't come because of school or because they don't have money. I wonder if they realize that invitations are generally automatic and not personal, because I'm pretty sure no one in the comm knows who they are much less cares why they can't come to that particular meet.

>>9775641
Hampton Roads has a good comm, anon. Big meets are worth traveling for.

>>9788022
Ohmigosh I'm glad I'm not the only one that's noticed this about the lurkers always being the ones posting excuses. My comm has over 200 people, they really think I want them clogging up the event page instead of hitting 'can't go'?

Similarly, I always thought it was silly when people post 'oh I'm thinking of hosting a meet in such and such place, what does everybody think?' Again, there's over 200 people. At least a few of will like the idea, too.

>>9788001
I havnt been able to attend a meet for my comm for about two years due to conflictions with my schedule. I work a full time job that is literally always on call. There are many times that I’ll intend on attending but have to cancel the day before due to that. Not all lolitas are in college and have free schedules. Not all work as a on call nurse either, but this is something you might want to consider before lumping all last minute call outs together.

>>9788089
Do you still vote in polls to determine date/venue, though? Nayrt but what annoys me most about people who drop out last minute is that usually they did vote to have it on that date, and often it’s such a close call that one or two votes swayed it to that date versus another one. I’m ESL so idk if I’m making sense

>meet can be on Saturday or Sunday
>16 people vote Saturday
>17 people vote Sunday
>meet is scheduled for Sunday
>date arrives and several people who voted for Sunday suddenly drop out
>people who voted for Saturday because they absolutely could not make it on Sunday are pissed because now they’re having to miss out for no reason
This is why I think it’s rude to vote in these polls and then drop out.

>>9788159
Don’t forget the people who vote on the poll but never even put themselves on going, eventhough their prefer dated was pick. I know things can happen, that results in having to drop out. But most of the time I have the feeling they never planned on going.
There are quite some members in the comm with a shitty mentality. That is why we can’t have anything nice. Even paying in advance doesn’t go well with them.

>>9788089
Not the meet host's fault you have an awkward schedule. They are allowed to complain when you actively make their lives harder, because no one actually gives a shit about your individual circumstances which make inconveniencing other people totally okay.

>>9788267
Actually, my comm fully understands that I have a schedule that changes. I don’t “make” them change their plans for me. I simply change my going to not going, message the person making the meet about it so they can give away my seat. I even have paid for events and essentially gave someone a free ticket in because my work called me in. There’s a point in being whiny becuase you want things your way, and accepting your life is hectic and doesn’t go the way you planned. It’s all about how you approach it.

>>9788037
Thanks anon, i’ll check them out.

Potluck today, over 30 persons are marked as attending yet only ~10 persons have said that they're bringing something in the food thread gj comm

try to set up meets with girls
nobody messages back
guess i’ll continue being a lonelita

>>9756639
I get it anon. Shit turns you on.

>>9764001
it's possible.

>>9755664
You should seek help.

>>9762967
Mistake is still willing to work with the Leigh's so F NO!!

I refuse to buy from any vendor who attends AM. I refuse to go to any events hosting idols, talents, or guest who currently work with or associate with AM.

>>9788707
Is this really becuase of AM? Or is it becuase you want to be progressive and cool by hating them. No one likes what they have done. Get over yourself. You’re not special.

>>9755520
>She's always yelling, complaining, making mountains out of molehills, taking everything personally, getting TMI with people she's just met and admits to stirring shit on cgl for fun but summons her FB whiteknights by crying about bullies

She has Borderline Personality Disorder, I guarantee it. Ruining everything for everyone all the time is just what they do. Good nature people just keep giving them the benefit of the doubt.

>>9755567
If someone dumps someone disabled on you, call the police, CPS or APS depending on age. That is so not okay, not to mention incredibly unsafe.

>>9755914
>Eeeeeew!!! Did you just say that out loud?! How embarrassing for you.

>I've heard that a lot of people into ageplay also fuck their daddy's dog.

>Jesus fucking Christ. TMI, you dirty bitch.

>>9756528
Do you dress well? It's not necessarily an indication of whether you're a creep or not, but it can be in some people's minds. If you look sloppy, they might suspect you have ulterior motives because you don't seem to care about fashion or aesthetics judging by what you look like.

>>9756528
I hope you've never hinted that dressing in Lolita turns you on, because if you have, that is the problem. No one wants to hear about someone with a dick being sexually excited by becoming one of the girls. Because you're not.

>>9756528
Men often talk over women without noticing. If you're bigger than everyone else, you come over as intimidating and threatening.

>>9756594
>times that I would eat chili while being dressed in a dress I value

Literally never

>>9780448
This is when you block her. When she pitches a fit at a meet, tell her your com is not a lunatic asylum, and to get professional help.

>>9782451
lol jesus. If you let that into your com you're in for a world of pain.

>someone in my comm suggests scheduling a meet soon
>general agreement
>she proposes a specific date
>one of the girls goes "oh I'll be throwing a party on that day and the majority of the comm will be there, so that's no good"
>just leaves it like that

Is it just me or does that seem pretty rude? It's not like it's a big comm either...

>>9788719
Its really because she was given a letter that was fully translated for her with a detailed description of what happened. She took to Twitter to say she was deeply troubled by what happened and *cried about, but goes back each fucking year to support the event. If she really cared about the lolita community, she would have separated herself from that a long time ago like others have.

Newbie lolitas see her at that event and wanna go in hopes of meeting her. Cathy Cat was boycotted to the point she had some sort of mental breakdown. Why is the treatment of each girl different? We collectively shunned Cathy Cat, but not Misako?

>>9788875
Didn't Misako go there because Baby was there? Iirc Baby was tied to AM by a contract so they couldn't break it off even if they wanted. If that is true, I wonder if they're going to stop attending once the contract ends.

>>9788875
I think Misakos is in a contract with AM so she can't just up and bounce from it. She is also way more famous than Cathy Cat, so people will still love her and her intl fan base may not even know about AM drama.
But also after she posted herself crying, I believe she posted a new designer bag that she received from JL.

>>9788731
They’ll just reply something along the lines of
>How dare you kinkshame, you awful bigot!

>>9788696
Ask stupid questions, get stupid answers.

>>9788875
I'm boycotting the LA meet because Misako is going. She doesn't deserve a pass for the reasons you mentioned. Also I will be side eyeing the fuck out of any lolitas that go to that event at future meets.

Any good recommendations for Seattle?