/cgl/ - Cosplay & EGL

>>9671649
My comm's ILD has been posted over a month ago. I say if there isn't anything yet, just take the plunge and make your own event first.

People always complain about nothing being planned for ILD until the last second.

>>9671827
I actually talked to one of the mods of my comm and suggested an event and she basically took my idea and said we should use a different location thus killing my idea.

I can't go into what it was cause I know she's here and I'm not ready to abandon the comm yet.

Among many of the reasons I'm gonna leave. I'm sure they'll do something and I'm sure they'll plan it better than I can.

I don't think my comm has done anything for ILD in years. We do have (smaller, ticketed) meets around that time but nothing big that's open to the entire comm. I've talked to mods about organizing something but they told me not to because there are too many meets already.

So I’m in japan on exchange, are there any international comms here I can join? I posted this to another thread but it died.

>>9675337
Tokyo International Lolita Community (東京国際ロリータ会) on facebook

>>9675337
>>9675450
There's also a community for Kansai, if you're closer to that area.
/groups/491433544220482

>>9671649
basically deleting your fb is kinda killer for anyone in a lolita comm, unless you have a solid network on ig/twitter/tumblr/etc...

Also here's the lolita comm list! There's a contact email in one of the tabs if you want your comm added!
https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1evXegSoFbfEXn8o0joeA-KFvolNKPKllgvaYqNgvOiw/edit#gid=1

I'm moving to Seattle soon and was wondering what the community was like there! Are there a lot of meetups?

>>9675499
I'm aware. Did you not completely read my post?

>>9675467
are there any others within the Kyushu area?

>>9676328
As far as I'm aware, Tokyo and Kansai are the only international/English speaking communities in Japan.
I know there's an active Japanese scene in Fukuoka, but it can be hard to break into the Japanese cliques even if you're fluent.

Wtf is up with the NY comm? I recently moved here, and for it being a giant city its so dead. I'm used to a meet at least every month. Planning a meet is not an option as no one knows who I even am.

>>9676840
I'm from CT but super close to NYC so its meets are closer for me. What I get from it is that the com (the facebook group) to make events so no one makes them official on fb. what happens is that friends just meet up and invite each other. Since I (and you) don't know anyone, no events

>>9676840
The NY comm has never been cohesive. At best it’s fractured and cliquey, at worst it’s dead. You’re probably best off reaching out to individual NY lolitas here or on social media and see if you can drum up interest for a small casual get-together, because if you wait until the community organizes a real meet you’ll be waiting forever.

>>9676845
*the comm is too big. forgot to add that word

>>9676840
(CT lolita from above) i would love a fellow lolita to meet up with so if you want a buddy let me know

>>9676847
That's stupid. SF has a huge comm too and runs it much better.

>>9676850
Definitely, thanks

>>9676850
Where should I find you?

>>9676867
my email you can use is beautifulsnet@gmail.com. send me an email and we can become FB friends

I didn't manage to snag one of the limited tickets to Texas's Statewide ILD but I think the most active people in my comm did so I doubt anything will be happening locally this year.

Makes me a little sad, I would try to host a local one but the last time I tried to host a meet no one came lol Im not new to hosting, but that kinda hurt, so Im not even going to try anymore.

>>9676871
Sent

>>9676840
NY has a ton of lolitas but they are cliquey af. Many of them don't even think of it as a real comm, and there are definitely " secret comms" or "groups of 20 friends just hanging out together causually, dressed in a theme, at a prepaid venue".

But it is what it is sadly. People have tried to change it but it never helps, maybe for a second.

Your best bet would be lone lolita-ing for a while until there is a big public event. Wear lolita on your own in NYC often enough and you will definitely run into other lolitas. I have met a couple that way.

Another strategy often suggested to newbies to the comm is to just make your own meet. Yes, you will get itas coming but who cares? You are trying to meet people and I guarantee you will meet at least one good person if you do so.

>>9676922
That's what I've heard about the comm for years, but didn't think it would be this boring.

LA announced theirs a couple of weeks ago, they always sell out so got my ticket early for once. So fucking excited!

>>9676927
Yeah it really does suck. Usually I'd recommend the Victorian Ladies or whatever fb group but they are pretty dead now too.

The good thing about NYC is at least there are a lot of cool generally kawaii events throughout the year where you have a chance to meet lolitas.

Also there's the Baby tea parties. They aren't that worth the price but a good way to get an in with some people.

>>9677018
Is Victorian Ladies the one started by simply26 after she flounced from the main group?

>>9677018
Ya, I'm part of that group, but its deader than dead.
I'll just wait for RuffleCon

>>9677084
Yeah but she pretty much never goes to meets. Lots of great girls there, at least when it was active..

There’s gotta be more than like 5 Upstate NY lolitas, where did all of you go? Didn’t Rochester have two large comms?

Going to my first meet in a few days and I'm pretty nervous! I imagine most people there have known each other for quite a while so I'm not too sure how to get into the swing of things, I'll probably be one of the older people there too. My coord isn't too polished either (although presentable) & I feel like that would give me a bit more confidence, haha. Any tips on how to handle that well?

>>9675467
Perfect. I am in the kansai area. Thank you!!

>>9675450
Thanks so much. I'll check it out.

>>9678648
Theres a buff comm and a roc comm, both have facebook groups. they usually combine for events but are pretty active. I dont know about Syracuse

>>9678660
Honestly, I've found that just talking about someone else's coord and how you like the print is a great jumping off point. I feel like there's no shame in mentioning that you'd love to do more with your future coords/a different coord for the same main piece. If you ask for suggestions, I'm sure many people would be open to giving them. I just use the fashion as a starting point and gradually get to know people from there. I deal with a bit of a language barrier presently, but I've still made a couple of friends by talking about brand releases and favorite prints and transitioned to talking about work-life balance and traveling and stuff. Good luck! I'm sure your new comm will like you a lot.

>>9675499
Tfw there's a comm in your area but it's only 12 people and you've never even seen someone in alt fashion, let alone frills. FB doesn't seem active either.

>>9676922
It maybe sounds weird but our comm also became really big, and the more Lolitas we had, the more it became cliquey.

The reason is that when you organize a meet, there are too many girls wanting to come, and it's really hard to find an activity and a café for 50 people. Especially when many only know 1-2 weeks in advance if they want to come or not. Also more people will cancel last minute, because they are not so excited for the meets anymore when most people attending are not their close friends. I often ended up planning a meet for 40-50 people but only 10 actually showed up.

Also the community feeling gets lost because like I said before, if many people are not your close friends anymore, people don't really engage anymore in organizing meet ups, don't ask you if you need any help or even don't want to help out when you ask for volunteers. And people start to critisize more because they don't know the organizer personally anymore and don't really think that it's just a fellow Lolita organizing it in their freetime (I literally had people complain about bad weather, because that's something I totally can influence).

Where have all the teenage lolitas gone too? I don't particular miss having any in our comm but the average age in my comm seems to be steadily going up and while it used to be 19 a few years ago it's starting to get rare for someone to even be 19 at one of our meet ups. When a new teenage lolita does join they have no one their age to connect with and will have a short period of awkwardly trying to fit in before giving up. I don't miss them or their drama but is lolita falling out style?

>>9679864
Ya, but I was from the SF comm, and there wasn't an issue. The group may have 1000 members, but that doesn't mean even most of them are active.
NY comm seems to be a shitshow, not because of too many members, but because of the lolitas themselves. From what I've seen so far, the events have 20 person invite max, which is stupid for a group that big. They're intentionally trying to only invite their friends, which is what theyre infamous for.

>>9679938
They’re all in my comm apparently. I’m not sure what the real average age in my comm is but there’s definitely a large number of teenagers. We’ve had multiple 13-year-olds at meets even. Most are around 18, though. I’m 25 and I’m considered way old. I’m also one of the few people who has their own apartment, the overwhelming majority of my comm still lives with their parents. Nothing wrong with that, but it does get awkward whenever I realize that I’m the only person at the meet who does their own laundry.
There are more people my age and older in my region’s community but they hardly come to meets anymore and just hang out with their friends instead. Sometimes I really regret joining the comm late.

>>9679938
I would say that it is less in anime and games as it used to be so there is less exposure. I'm not into the scene, but I Visual K also isn't as popular anymore which attracted some girls to lolita. My comms age is increasing too, but we just have a very large amount of older girls that are sticking around. Most of when I joined 5 years ago are still active and new members are also often 20 because they can afford it.

>>9679938
Idk, but I'm thankful. I hate having to play babysitter to the under 18 crowd.

Recently I joined my state's comm after two years of being a lonelita, and I don't know why but I expected comms to be...more? I thought they would be communities where people who are local or at least mostly local would discuss releases, share their coords, talk about stuff, give each other advice. I honestly kind of imagined it like CGL, albeit more friendly and a few less informed people here and there.

But...there's nothing. No monthly threads like I imagined where people would post their coords or chat about new releases, or even a megathread for Halloween posts. Every few days or longer there's a random post, like someone new introducing themselves, someone asking advice, one coord. It's so sporadic that it feels like these are posts that aren't supposed to be, because if we were just supposed to post like that wouldn't everyone in this not tiny comm?

Comms can't be just a page for arranging meets, right? I thought the point of joining one was to join a local community. I understand that Rufflechat/CGL/CoF are places but I thought for sure with how these comms are gated communities there would be more localized talk.

Are there comms like what I'm imagining, or did I let my ideas of what a comm was get carried away?

>>9680272
It's not sisterhood of the traveling pants. It's just a bunch of people who wear a certain fashion who want to meet up with other people of the same fashion every so often.

>>9679963
There are very few venues in NYC that will fit more than 20 people without charging exorbitant room fees. Why don't you organize an event if it's so easy?

>>9680289
Here's a thought, have meets in parks. I get that this is NYC, but you don't need to have an expensive meet all the time. Going to the same tea room every time is boring.

>>9680272
>>9680288
My comm is exactly like >9680272 described and I feel so lucky. It is out there anon but it's rare. What state are you in?

>>9680288
And I get that, it's not like I was suggesting I'm expecting there to be talk constantly. I just through there would be some ways people would talk in the comms, maybe share some coords they don't want to post on CoF and if their FB is connected to their normie life don't want to share on their page, and it doesn't look like there really is. It's just a page you join and you hope that you can go to a meet in a few months.

>>9680305
Ah, I'm worried it'll be very revealing since I did just join in the past month and not many others did... I also still don't know their opinions on someone who openly goes on and posts on CGL, haven't been to a meet yet to make potential friends so I don't want to potentially ostracize myself just yet. It's a midwest (mideast? not like nebraska west) state. I know the meme is that midwest comms always struggle, but there's a good number of members so if just feels dead.

>>9680294
Here's a thought, organize it yourself.

>>9679938
apparently they're all in my comm since the new wave of girls are all under 18!

Some girl in my comm wants to buy ebay wigs, dye them, then resale them at a mark up.

Like thanks, I'd rather be scammed by Lockshop. At least they have nice wigs.

ILD will be lit though. There is a new hostess and it looks like its gonna be a lot of fun.

>>9680272
My comm is like this! Or at least trying to be. We have monthly question threads, mail threads, a coord help thread (though that one’s dead), a handmade thread (also dead), a new release thread and a coord challenge thread. It used to be completely barren like you described but sometime earlier this year the mods decided to try harder and bring it back to life, because to anyone who didn’t already have friends in the comm it looked like the group had been abandoned. It’s possible, but it takes concerted effort from mods and members alike. I’m personally hoping to give the handmade thread a boost in the future when I have more time.

Part of the reason the group used to be dead and some members still don’t feel comfortable posting is because there are a lot of inactive accounts in the group. Several hundred people who’ve never introduced themselves and have never been to a meetup, who probably don’t even wear lolita. Most of them are probably no longer interested but the idea that there are potentially hundreds off non-contributing gawkers looking at every post is a deterrent for most girls to share anything. Once they got rid of a big chunk of these it improved, but there’s still a lot of them remaining. Does your comm have this problem too?

>>9680294
Meet ups in parks also get boring after a while. Besides I personally really dislike meetings in parks, I don't like to sit on the floor in Lolita, and it's such a hassle to carry all the stuff you need for a picknick. And then theirs often no toilet nearby and even if you sit in a quite spot you are still exposed to all the people who walk by and annoy you.

You can also reserve a café without booking a Tea Party set for 20$, but with more than 20 people it gets really hard

>>9680654
If it is that easy, then do it yourself.

>>9679864
At least 10 people showed. In a small comm if you host a meet, sometimes only one or no one shows to despite 20 rsvps

>>9680294
I'm pretty sure you need permits to have large events (>20 people) in most of their parks. Also, who the hell wants a park meet in the middle of winter or summer.

>>9680654
>picknick.
>20$
You clearly aren't from New York. I don't think your opinion applies since we're talking about the New York comm in particular

>>9676840
Fellow CT lolita here. Basically NY get all of the major brand events and stuff. If you like meeting famous people, you'll like it. If you like making friends good luck. Go to Rufflecon.

I personally prefer the Boston comm as a whole, cause they actually do stuff together. The CT comm is a joke right now.

>>9680272
My main two comms are basically only to post new events, maybe a photo dump and major topics like brands/magazines closing, Leigh drama when it happened or our comm being featured in GLB or something.

For a while I was In a countries comm and I found it annoying when people asked where to buy dresses wigs or shoes. Not specially a color or style just “where do I buy such pretty dresses?!?” With no photos to go along. I hated it. They recently switched names or made a new group because of the rumor “ Lolita in the name makes it unfindable” and since then It seems To be quite. Or the mods just banned everyone/delete posts.

There COF, CGL and the discord’s to talk about Lolita stuff... plus at actual meets. I like keeping the comm page for events and photo dumps.

But my comm is small so.. we have everyone as a Facebook friend already for the most part

>>9679824
same feels anon, which state?

>>9676922
NYC had a billion museums so how come you guys don't have museum meetups frequently? MoMA or science or art museum meetups aren't hard but the organizer needs to seem reliable & post many updates for people who arrive late...

>>9681568
To be fair, there's nothing the fuck to do in Connecticut and no one seems to have any creativity with their event planning. I'd organize more but I'm away at school half the time and I don't live in central CT so I'm relatively far from everyone else.

Wait what happened in the Ontario comm? I don't even recognize the name of the girl they banned?

>>9682581
Some newfag started drama and got the banhammer because she posted caps of dicussions that were private to the comm onto her Instagram.

>>9682581
Me either. I think she had to be relatively new to the comm.

>>9682597
I got that much, but what did she accuse the other person of?

>>9675707
It's a good com. And there are a decent number of meetups.

>>9682581
She also nearly got banned from the big sister group for not tagging her posts. She just seems like a moron. It's a bit hypocritical for the girl(comm leader?) who made the post about it considering she's a drama ham all by herself, there's a reason no one trusts her.

>>9682597
Shit. I wanna read the deets. Caps?

>>9682387
Have you been to a museum with 20 or more people? It is not fun.

>>9682630
Deets?

>>9682608
I don't have caps and she deleted half of her original comments, but the post that started it is still on the comm's page. Someone shared a "how to wear lolita" guide that Banned-chan thought was too harsh and would turn away new lolitas. People responded saying the guide wasn't too harsh and the rules exist for a reason. One of the people also mentioned a past job in passing, which Banned-chan passive-aggressively demanded that the person prove really happened.

Then Banned-chan capped part of the conversation and posted it on Instagram saying the person told her she didn't know how to wear lolita and the person was probably lying about the past job.

>>9682678
K so I found her Instagram and you guys dodged a bullet. She seems to think highly of herself when there’s nothing good she can offer other than maybe a bite from the huge chip in her shoulder.

>>9682700
Ig handle?

>>9680488
>ILD will be lit though.
Things like this are why I'm over trying to associate with other lolitas.

>>9682925
good

>>9683014
so is it fun working at taco bell while you go to college?

>>9683017
So what's is like being friendless?

>>9683017
wouldn't know. is it fun having your head crammed shoulder deep into your own ass? send postcards.

>>9676850
Same

>>9683055
I wouldn't know. I live with my best friend.

>>9683059
That didn't happen, you just like to imagine it did. Must be a vivid imagination - considering you don't know what I look like. Oh that's right, it's called projecting.

>>9683062
>I live with my best friend.
Your cat doesn't count.

>>9683064
I don't have a cat.

>>9682630
There is no comm leader, just a mod team for the Facebook page.

>>9681568
>>9682575
I'm the previous CT lolita from above. yeah the ct comm is such a shit show. I used to be in a different comm when I was at school that had monthly meets plus additional specific theme meets to museums, tea parties, and picnics. I actually hosted some too there. I would try to do a meet in CT, but I also live not in central CT (south west) and not sure how many active lolitas are in my area.

Have posted this in the previous general but it's probably more suited to this thread. I'm probably overthinking things but would appreciate any advice because I feel like a total nooblita

I have a separate fb account with no personal info on it & a nickname for online jfash discussion/selling groups because I don't want to interact with random people I've never met with my actual account. Used that account to get in touch with the comm where I live through their fb group. I've just met them for the first time, I got along with them really well and will be seeing them again soon. A few of them have added me as a friend, but I feel like it might be a bit rude to be interacting with them on a 'throwaway' account, especially considering I do actually want to become friends with them. Am I right in thinking that? What would be a graceful way to handle this situation?

>>9683414
I'd interact with them on the throwaway until you develop a strong friendship with them outside of Lolita. The sort of friendship that would survive if you no longer had the fashion in common.

>>9683204
>>9683064
>>9683062
>>9683059
>>9683055
>>9683017
kek, forcing insults like this makes you both look pretty pathetic

>>9683429
kek makes you sound like someone who doesn't know how to come up with their own words and are only driven by board culture antics.

>>9683356
Southwest seems to be where most people are. I'm up in the Northeast. There's fucking nothing here. I'm honestly thinking of just going up to Boston for their ild cause god knows if there'll actually be a CT one.

Why do people expect someone else to organise everythign? Our comm is 70+ people and I'm always the one organising meetups even though lots of people attend. It's so sad that nobody wants to help out or give back. It's so frustrating. I keep encouraging people positively to even just do a lunch meetup, nothing expensive or fancy, and nobody bothers.
I just want a break without letting the comm die.

>>9688683
Can you just flat out state you're taking a break and only doing, let's say, four meets? And no one wants to host because that means you're responsible for things. Other times people don't host because they're afraid no one will come, or it will just be a small meet. But those are dumb reasons not to host.

>>9688717
I did that once about two or three years ago and nothing happened, nobody planned a meet for three months. I couldn't believe it. I think there was one half-meetup where three people showed and they just went to a fast food place.

>>9688683
I have/had the same problem. People are lazy as fuck and find every excuse to not organize something. At some point I didn't had the time and motivation anymore to organize something and I just stopped, and guess what, people started to cry about that there are no meet ups anymore but still didn't do anything about it.

Only 1-1,5 years later some other girls started to organize meets again. In my opinion you should definitely do a break and care for yourself. Maybe you can also start a discussion about this topic in your community to make people more aware of it. Or you can directly ask a person if they can help you organize meets (some people get more motivated this way)

>>9688780
>Or you can directly ask a person if they can help you organize meets (some people get more motivated this way)
This would really work for me. I'd love to start organizing meets in my local comm but am a total autist who has never even organized my own birthday party, so I worry about planning a meet and suddenly having 25 people RSVP that I then need to wrangle, especially because I've heard complaints from other comm members that it's like herding cats. It would be great if I could "intern" with a more experienced meetup organizer first before I end up causing a big mess and leave people stranded at the wrong station or get us blacklisted from a café or whatever. What's a good way to approach someone about this? I don't want to impose on someone who doesn't have the time to hold my hand in addition to herding the aforementioned cats. I also worry that I'm a bit old (25) to be so clueless, but yeah, autism.

>>9688717
Tbh this wouldn’t work. I did it and no one made meets despite me encouraging them. People are quick to say they want to meet up but when it requires work they seem to disappear.

It is far better for you to get someone to help you out so they gain the skill and confidence to do meets as well. Easy them into it.

>>9688683
>this is me to a t
>tfw literally the only person holding the whole community together
>tfw got sick for a month once and no other mods, not ordinary members, MODS, bothered planning meets
>recover and announce a meet
>"oh anon, thank goodness you're well, we haven't had a meet in ages!"

m
f
w

>>9688788
I would message one of the usual organisers directly and say 'hey I really want to do a meet where we go to x/do y' but I'm a little intimidated about the planning process. Would you be able to give me some support? Your meets are always great and I don't want to mess up'

I was 26 when I first planned a meet and my goodness was I glad that the mods in my comm were 1. Giving me advice and encouragment and 2. Attending my meet

>>9688746
I think you might just have to take a step back and watch them flail for a bit. It's frustrating, but think of it as making space for someone else to shine. Maybe share some tips you've learned hosting with the comm.

>>9676922
I remember a couple of gulls on here discussing the idea of a Seagull comm, what ever happened to that? I, too, am a lone lolita in the city and while I'm honestly fine with it, still it would be fun to have an excuse to do cute shit sometimes.

>>9680289
>>9680364
>>9680693
why even bother responding, anon?

Is there a active Lolita comm in south west florida? i saw a few facebooks for ones but i doubt any are active.

Petty drama aside, what's the PDX comm like? I'm planning on moving to Portland late summer/early autumn of 2018, and since I haven't had a chance to be a part of an active community yet, it's something I'm looking forward to.

Anyone have info about the Pennsylvania comm/s? I'm moving there and I don't want to join if it's full of petty drama like my last comm.

>>9691625
I know there are gulls in PGL, but as a general rule we keep any petty drama we have to ourselves and are supportive of our members.

>>9688797
Fucking same, ugh.

>>9688797
My comm is like that, and I'm just a regular member. I've tried to organise meets, but they all fall flat. Usually people will only take notice of a meet if a mod made them.

>>9691992
Our comm seems to be kind of like this and sometimes it seems like the mods just happen to have a better sense of what would make a good meet and how to organize it. But it's frustrating because the other members don't learn because they don't try.

>>9691992
My advice is to keep hosting. My first meet, only four people showed up. Now my meets average around ten, though I've hosted some with as few as two. Start with something simple, like a meet at a restaurant with a little wander after, and work your way up to bigger events.

I'm going to be hosting my first meetup this December. It's going to be pretty low key (just attending an event together), but is there anything I should do as a hostess to make it special? Does anyone have good hosting tips?

>>9691479
There are a lot of nice girls and a lot of gulls actually.

Cross posting from the general thread since this seems relevant here: A bit of a loaded question but after seeing all the beautiful things DMC and Rufflecon had to offer and the not so great things for both cons it got me thinking, what makes these mega meet ups? What works, what doesnt? if you had the resources how you plan something akin to rufflecon or Dream masquerade?

>>9692482
You need people willing to put their heart and soul into the event. And people who are willing to support it.

>>9692589
And they all have to magically get along.

>>9692688
This. No jealously, egos, or divas allowed. But they always manage to creep in.

How do other large comms deal with payment at large meets? I've been to a few meets where we needed to reserve and pay the organizers in advance, but with most meetups at cafes or restaurants we split the bill and all pay separately at the end. I can see how the latter is easier for the organizers but the people at the cafe/restaurant always clearly resent having to split a bill into 30 separate pieces and sometimes try to argue with the organizers about this. And even though I'm not one of the organizers, the thought that some forgetful or irresponsible member might run off without paying their part of the bill gives me a shit ton of anxiety. It almost happened multiple times where we had to run someone down who was already on their way to the bus stop.

>>9693138
My comm splits checks into groups by seating, so a group of 30 will be five separate checks rather than 30 and each group can keep track of each other much easier.

Has anyone planned a boat meet? Right now it's off season and too damn cold but I was going to use this time to gather details and garner interest. I checked the archive and only saw 2 boat meet ups mentioned.
>one of which shitpoasted into oblivion
I figure late April or May would be the ideal time.

>tfw u will never have a glorious cheese meetup like the SF comm bc your comm is full of vegans

>>9694097
I brought hummus and jam in case people wanted to eat food that wasn't cheese, cheese meets can be vegan inclusive. Also there were veggies, dip, olives, grapes....

>>9693482
One of the Baby anniversary parties was on a boat

>>9694107
I never even thought of that! I might pitch the idea with that in there. Do you think people would want to contribute vegan cheese? I've heard it smells odd even compared to dairy cheese so idk if it might be overpowering.

>>9694118
If they want to bring it and there's a lot of other vegans I'm sure it'd be fine, you can even do like seperated tables to keep the cheese/dairy and vegan apart. Also, we drank a lot of wine at that meet, so... That's vegan

>>9693482
I have, it was on an old steam boat.
I'd say definitely do it, it's a great excuse to break out pirate or sailor coords. It's also really lovely just chatting with everyone as you drift down the river watching all the scenery go by.

>>9694170
Are there any activities that would be good? Also alcohol or nah? I am thinking of getting food though.

>>9694130
I’d so love an adult cheese and wine tasting meet, but my comm has a bunch of girls who flip their shit if there’s even a single liqueur chocolate on the table at a high tea. Considering how badly they react to the suggestion that they just don’t eat it then, I don’t even want to know what would happen if we organized a wine tasting meet and told the teetotallitas that they don’t have to attend if they don’t like it. Exclusion! Bullying! Discrimination! If we don’t like something then nobody else can enjoy it either!
Sigh.

>>9694118

I am not vegan but have lots of vegan friends, so I tried vegan cheeses for sure and I must tell it's different but delicious. Didn't notice anything about the smell, thou. So yes, give it a try!

How do you let your comm know about relevant health issues without being awkward and

I have mild hearing loss with bad tinnitus and mild auditory hallucinations (musical ear). It doesn't require me to wear a hearing aid, but what is hardest for me (muffled or overlapping sounds, low volume, high and low pitch) is essentially large group conversations and women's voices.

I recently went to a bigger meet up where I had a hard time following the conversation, and I'm pretty sure some of the other members thought I wasn't paying attention, when in reality I just couldn't hear very well, because I had to ask what had been said.

I don't want to make a big deal out of it or make anyone do anything special for me, but I don't want people thinking I'm an asshole, either.

>>9694240
awkward and annoying*
sorry about that.

>>9694240
Just be straight up "hey guys, I'm deaf. I apologize if I need things repeated, but please be aware that I am not ignoring you as I literally cannot hear well."

>>9676876
there are some girls unable to make it. Keep an eye on the event page as it gets closer to see if you can snag one

It's been awhile since this meet happened and I won't disclose where I am, but wow the comm for my region is awful. I have a friend and a few acquaintances that are a few hours away each, and we organize casual meets from time to time. I was feeling lonely so I thought I'd travel for an official comm meet, and it was a disaster.

>Fully fledged adults in straight up cosplay and costumes
>Pastel handmade monstrosities paired with black corsets
>Shiny, shit tier cosplay wigs in bright colors
>Cat ears

I think I'm fine being a lonelita. Never doing that mess again.

>>9694178
why would alcohol be a problem? no one's going to get drunk on one liquer.
The only problem I could see would be if you had muslims or religious people who dont drink, but surely the way around that is to for them just to...not drink

>>9694309
NAYRT, but think about how unnecessarily sensitive so many people are in this fashion. People get offended over the stupidest things and would absolutely feel like alcohol being present at an event is a personal affront to them. Conversely, having a meet meant for alcohol consumption that they'd feel "excluded" from or "unwelcome" at would piss them off even more.

>>9694178
Fuck 'em. Have a meet anyway. So a couple of people are miffed. Probably not people you'd want to be friends with anyway?

>>9688683
My comm has maybe a handful of people who throw meets for the main comm. all the smaller and more personal meets seem to be held in their secret comm
This leaves the main comm with a few big meets a year
Occasionally members will try to host one but a lot of times people flake and the host is the only one at the meet location. That person never tries again after that.
Our comm seems like it takes one of the 'elite' to plan something for anyone to show.

>>9691479
It's a pretty diverse comm. lots of genuinely nice people from all walks of life. A sprinkle of gulls. Meets every month...

>>9694313
Secret comm? So not just friends hanging out or a more localized group, but really a entire separate comm?

>>9694339
That's what I have heard. They set up a separate fb group or a chat or something. The main comm has a rule against it but the mods occasionally let something slip while at meets and rumors spread

>>9694313
I don't think I'm in your comm since a lot have this problem, but I'm one of those people you're describing. I plan a lot of meets for my comm but they are so draining. You have to coordinate all the details leading up to the meet, then you spend the whole time checking your phone or facebook helping people find the venue and giving directions to all the people who inevitably show up late. You don't really get to enjoy it as much as if you're just attending.

So sometimes I don't want to deal with all that so I just text a couple friends and see if they want to dress up and go out. They might invite a friend as well and then people start thinking we're having secret meet ups. I'd love if more people would step up to plan meets so a small group didn't have to shoulder all the burden of planning.

>>9693482
I had one before, it was a blast!

>>9694370
One way to mitigate this is to request a volunteer or two to help you. Depending on the size of the meet, I ask for one or two people (usually my friends end up doing it) to help out with answering messages at the meet up. It's a lot easier for two people to manage, and it stretches the burden. Recently I set up a group chat for everyone to message in, which worked out even better. It was a great way for people to stay connected and crowd source help at our mall meet up, when we split off into groups. Also some other girls answered like half the questions before my dedicated volunteers got to them.
It seemed to go over pretty well. People who didn't want it could request to be left out, turn off notifications, or leave the chat.

>>9694309
Ayrt and >>9694311 hit the nail on the head. None of them are religious afaik but they might as well be, the way they act like they're being personally attacked by the existence of things they don't like. I actually have very low tolerance for drunken behavior myself and don't like going to bars or parties where people will be getting drunk, but I can still enjoy a glass of wine with dinner. For these girls there is no such middle ground. I hope it's just immature black-and-white thinking that they'll grow out of at some point but most of them are 20+.

>>9694311
Oh I personally dgaf about being friends with them, but if I tried to organize such a meet and these girls (as well as anyone too young to legally drink) would feel discriminated against, I might get the mods on my ass about not being inclusive enough. My comm has this tendency to pander to oversensitive crybabies in an attempt to seem kind and welcoming even if that person is being unreasonable, because god forbid someone think lolita's aren't lovlies.

>>9678648
I've been wondering the same thing anon...

>>9679688
Is there really? I haven't been able to find anything on fb for them.

>>9694435
I have a group that helps. It's just no one new steps up so everyone gets burnt out after doing big meets 3x a year plus trying to keep the comm active in between.

I'm in a Texas comm. It's the south, so of course gigantic people are everywhere. There's an obese lolita in my comm who often brings up her size and weight when talking about dress sizing, etc., and I freeze whenever she does. Sometimes it's a simpler, "Oh, I could never fit into that! I wish I could, though..." Other times she uncomfortably overshares, "My sister says I'm too fat to look good in this" while looking to us to comfort her for it. But then it's a more surprising comment like, "I can't go to mini meets at restaurants... The booths are too small." This girl can't fit into a restaurant booth -- A BOOTH!! She's MASSIVE. And she's obviously got some mental issues, what with her blaming the booths for being too small rather than her being too large. I finished dropping 1/4 of my bodyweight recently, and I've realized how really fucking easy it is to lose weight. It's called self control! Discipline! Things she's apparently never heard of! I'm getting to the point of holding back the primal urge to yell, "We get it! You're FAT! So what are you gonna FUCKIN' DO ABOUT IT????"

Her attitude makes me not want to accommodate her. I want to go walking through a park and enjoy nature while she's bumbling behind us, sweating like a pig and gasping for air after walking 50 feet. I want to sit at restaurant booths where we're out of the walkways and we have more privacy (so we won't be gawked at so much). She can sit pull up a couple chairs to sit on at the end of the table and block the walkway if she wants. I want to wear the pretty dresses I've earned through discipline while she will only be able to wear replicas and fish for pity about it.

How do I react tactfully to her comments? I can't lie and glaze over it by saying, "Oh, you're beautiful just the way you are!" I don't want to lie and give a backhanded compliment like, "At least you have a cute face." If I dodge the subject, it's blatantly obvious and comes off as rude. Most of the other girls go quiet.

>>9694435
Seconding the group chat idea. It has done wonders for our comm and we are now more active than ever. Now the communication is almost instantly and everyone can throw ideas about meets that we organize collectively.

I have a question!
So I've been in my comm for about 2/3 years now, and everything has been going well. When I go to meets, I don't feel excluded or weird or anything, everyone treats me well and I have a good time. People even ask me if I want to sit at their table and stuff! However, I haven't made any friends in my comm so far. I thought this was pretty normal, until I recently found out a lot of comm members hang out one-on-one sometimes, or in small groups of 3-4. Even newer members that have been in the comm for only a year seem to make friends. Is it normal not to have close friends in your comm? Am I doing something wrong? I'm not totally desperate to make new friends or anything, just wondering.

>>9676876
Which part of Texas are you in? I couldn’t snag tickets either

>>9695177
Idk, do you show peronal interest in your comm members beyond lolita?
I have a few I'm friends with on facebook and follorwing on insta and we're commenting in each other's everyday life. Others though, I wouldn't want to meet aside from meets, because their personality and behavior is lacking.

>>9694435
>>9695164
Holy crap this is brilliant

Our comm had an amazing meet planned recently, but I literally heard nothing about it until after the day passed and now I’m super bummed. Kicking myself for not messaging people and checking up on it. I’m not even sure if it ended up happening or not, but it was at this cool Viking restaurant I’ve been dying to try out.

>>9695177
This sounds familiar. I've been active in my comm ~2 years, get invited to dinner after meets etc. but contact stops as soon as we leave for home. We all have each other on FB and other social media but those interactions are either very shallow ("cute cat", "happy birthday" etc.) or they're sharing something so personal I don't feel comfortable commenting on it in depth, like this one girl who often posts about problems with her family. I don't know her family and I hardly know her so I don't feel like I ought to go sticking my nose in. There seems to be no middle ground and most girls are very private online.
The girls in my comm who regularly hang out in person tend to live very close to each other or attend the same university, which of course makes it easier to meet up. Unfortunately I'm the only lolita in my city/at my uni that I know of.

Local pervert tries to guilt trip comm into accepting him, news at 11

>>9695236
genuinely curious, why do you think he's a pervert? ive seen his posts and he asks genuine questions about the fashion, so why is he getting all this hate?

>>9695236
>Local pervert
deets please?

>>9695236
Ban all males

>>9695236
cant you find someone else to attack? what is youu problem? if you dont have any legitimate reason to put this witch hunt out on him, gtfo

>>9695236
>“i forgive you“
Uggghhhh
Go eat a brick

>>9695236
>>9695263
Honestly, I would be okay with this. A few exceptions can be made for gods like Mana.
The men who come to my comm's events, even the ones who act/seem to have a legitimate interest in the fashion, are beyond awkward and make me and many others uncomfortable.
We'd much rather have frilly tea time with only women.

>>9695244
>>9695246
>>9695274
He is such an obvious sissy. I know lolitas want to be """"lovely"""" and accept everyone, but Buffalolita Bill here is not your friend.

>>9695286
you say that but you literally havent posted anything to make us believe that

>>9695236
That’s some transparent guilt tripping right there.
>I forgiev u UwU
haha okay, bye

>>9695288

>>9695294
so what if a girl/trans girl/ agender person said the same thing

>>9695294
Lmao someone needs to shave that nasty face

>>9695294
im going to stop fighting with you because you're a useless cunt, leave the fb group and get on with your pathetic life and let him enjoy what he wants

>>9695236
Straight white guy is so certain that a group of girls owe him an apology for not wanting him around that he forgives them in advance. How arrogant. He's gross and should gtfo. Sissy creeps like him RSVPing to events is a meet up killer for a lot of girls who don't want to show up in a public place with an obvious grown man in a dress because the general public will then assume they're part of some weird sex fetish and it just turns everything from cute and fun into awkward and uncomfortable. Dudes, NOT EVERYTHING IS FOR YOU. Comms are part of Lolita fashion but they aren't the fashion itself. This kind of guilt-tripping and manipulative behavior that men use to force their way into groups where they know they aren't wanted is disgusting.

>>9695306
>what is context

>>9695310
This, 100%.

>>9695182
Im in south texas, close to Schertz

>>9694269
Yeah I put my name down to wait for a ticket to pop up, so heres hoping!

>>9695236
my only issue with this man is that every god damn post from him is "HEY IM A MAN WEARING LOLITA UwU TREAT ME SPECIAL!:

He never shuts the fuck up about it! Tons of brolitas are great and dont shove their gender in your face 24/7

>>9695322
The attention whoring, PS-I-have-a-penis thing is a sissy trait. They get off on being abnormal. Doesn't anyone remember Brolitajenny? This guy just sounds like a less autistic version.

>>9695327
>>9695322
Exactly, which is why I don't get people defending this guy and others.
I am 4/4 with accurately guessing who is going to be a creep in my community, and while many sissies and creeps are obvious right off the bat, some are more subtle.
Learn the signs and trust your intuition.

>>9695177
Maybe you just haven't made it known to them that you're interested in getting together outside of lolita? Try inviting someone from the group to do something. If you get along, they'll probably invite you to future small get togethers.

Has anyone rehabilitated a Comm member who got into trouble or developed a bad reputation before that the member ended up getting banned?

I've been attempting to help out a former Comm member in the past months. Several lolitas who are close friends to her and myself are doing a private ILD event.

>>9695283
Yep. Even the nice ones I've met were so weird, like a boy behaving like a boy in girl's clothes. Irritating at best.
Why do men have to invade places where girls just want to be girls.

>>9695309
>t. man who can’t deal with rejection from women

>>9695331
Same here, creepspotting is pretty much the one thing I'm good at but nobody ever listens until it's too late. Should we write a guide or something? Predatory behavior gets easier to recognize once you know what you're looking for, like how they immediately test your boundaries by telling you things that most people would consider TMI just to see how you respond. Then they go a little further, and further, and further until you're in too deep and they're making you feel like it's your fault for not stopping it earlier. I've seen this happen so many times in my comm but always get shushed because we apparently "need to give them a chance". Part of me wants to make a checklist or bingo card or something.

>>9695357
I've helped clear up plenty of misunderstandings, but it really depends on the kind of trouble you're talking about.

>>9695357
It depends on what she did, and why she is banned. The mods need to be shown that the person has changed and all that.

Tell the girl to talk to the mod herself because it shows she cares if she puts the effort into it.

>>9695236
its a private group why are you capping his comments, salt anon? if you dont like him just leave.

>>9695441
I've thought about making one before, honestly. I feel like anonymity would be necessary, though, because I can already see the outrage it would cause if certain parts of the internet got ahold of it.

>>9695512
The fact there would be outrage about this in the first place is baffling to me. The community has grown disgustingly soft, girls have to stop coddling sissies under the guise of "acceptance". This is one of those times when I wish the "lolitas are all bitches" stereotype was true, maybe then these assholes would stay out of our subculture.

>>9695441
I feel like a guide on particular predatory behaviors to be wary of can be very useful. Please put together what you had in mind, even if it's in the form of a bingo card.

>>9695531
Not that anon but my rule of thumb is that if they aren't already a fan of anime/geeky shit, fashion, or friends with someone who is before they get into lolita, they're most likely a fetishist.

All men over the age of 40 trying to get into lolita are 99.9% of the time a sissy fetishist.

>>9695441
I feel like I'm having this issue right now. We have a very childish sweet brolita in our comm and I am 100% convinced that he's a fetishist, but I get brushed off when I try to bring it up to other members. A guide would be very helpful.

>>9695294
Way to take those posts out of context. He seems like a nice dude who is just nervous about getting into the fashion. And taking photos and comments from a closed group is a shite thing to do.

>>9695540
Oh yes, those are definitely glaring signs to be aware of, but I'm hoping to learn about anything else that might be less obvious but still a telltale sign of a sissy masquerading as a brolita or a qt trans girl uwu

>>9695545
>>9695531
I whipped this up, but it was quick and I left out the glaring ones, like being in sissy or fetish groups, making sexual jokes, etc. I feel like those are obvious enough.

>>9695583
Saved. Thank you, anon.

>>9695559
Being overly nervous is also a telltale sign, imo.
The normal guys I have met in this fashion never acted that nervous or weird about it. They weren't ashamed of it and weren't getting off on that, so why should they be? My comm is totally chill with brolitas who are actually into the fashion and not unbearably autistic.

>>9695583
I'll try to get around to making a longer, more thorough version in the next few days.
Maybe I'll illustrate it with examples from lolita history

>>9695591
Please do!

>>9695310
Totally agree. He's in my comm and I'm going to do my best to avoid him. I hope I don't get stuck at his table and end up in his "bouncing curls and swishy petticoats" spank bank. Something about him is unsettling and giving me creep vibes.

>>9695309
>>9695506
>>9695559
What is it going to take for you people to stop white knighting sissies? These guys invade our comms for one reason: to jerk off. They're predators. They masquerade as brolitas to get into our groups and look for wank fodder.
I would rather hurt a dozen brolita's fee-fees than risk one lolita's safety by accommodating a suspicious male.

>>9695286
Buffalolita Bill - fucking lost my shit anon, milk came out my nose, and I'm not even drinking any. Best comment of the day.

>>9695583
Petticoats are a huge fixation for a lot of sissies, don't forget about those if you're trying to figure out what they could be fixated on.

>>9695816
>Petticoats are a huge fixation for a lot of sissies

Petticoats are a huge fixation for a lot of lolitas too. Not just sissies. You gotta make sure the poof is there and it's not deflating. Plus all the different varieties, brands, styles, and colors.

>>9695819
Most lolitas don't wax poetic about how petticoats and skirts swish or the feeling of petticoats against their pantyhose. That's a distinctly sissy thing, and you're being purposefully obtuse if you think that shit is anything like discussing brand/material/shape.

>>9695737
T h i s

>>9695819
>>9695849
Sissies and lolitas tend to fixate on different details. Lolitas are concerned about shape, size, and overall quality (does it look good and hold up well?), while sissies fixate on feel, size, and 'swishyness' (does it make me feel soft and princess-y?).

>>9695737
As long as sissies abuse the transwoman label they will be whiteknighted. I feel bad for actual non-passing transwomen who want to get into lolita cause they have to prove they aren't some creepy fuck.

>>9695583
Another sign is them saying that lolita reminds them of what their sisters wore when they were children. Especially if they said they stole and dressed in their sisters' clothes

>>9695875
>>I feel bad for actual non-passing transwomen who want to get into lolita cause they have to prove they aren't some creepy fuck.

This exactly. I’d be happy to open my comm’s doors to a trans woman but sissies can fuck on outta here. It’s one thing to be a woman with XY chromosomes, it’s another entirely to want to turn my fashion circle into your fetish circlejerk.

>>9695849
>>9695865
Honestly I will never understand their fixation on the physical sensation of wearing lolita.

As much as I love wearing lolita, there is nothing kawaii about swamp crotch from tights or your petticoats' waistbands digging into your stomach. The poof is tolerable when walking or just standing, but it's a pain in the ass to have to adjust yourself every time you sit down.

>>9695737
This.

>>9695883
>petticoats' waistbands digging into your stomach
inb4 you get called fat because of this comment

>>9695883
or when your petticoat's too big and you spend all your time trying to discretely hitch it back up again.

>>9695883
Or when your feet hurt from wearing heels all day.
And your head itches, but you can't scratch it because of your wig.

Lolita isn't the most comfortable of fashions. Sissies should wear mori or something if they want comfy.

>>9695893
I mean I've gained a bit of weight recently too, but I've had the waistband problem even when I was legitimately skelly

>>9695531
This, and since when do we owe these creeps a fucking explanation? They should just be completely iced out with the purest disdain and contempt, without any further interaction or validation of their existence.

>>9695922
But mori isn't humiliating enough, anon.

Sweet lolita is, apparently.

>>9695912
ok but this happens all the time and does anybody else have some kind of temporary solution they use? (except getting one with a smaller waist, work with me here)

i always tuck my blouse into the petti to add a little bulk, and sometimes i take pic related and clip a few inches on top of each other to tighten it. it works well enough but it's not amazing.

>>9695531
Realistically though they'd probably get off on us rejecting them, but at the very least they wouldn't have access to the community anymore.

>>9695937
i've started safety pinning mine to my blouse hem, just incase lol.

>>9695912
Open up the waistband from the side seam like an inch, pull out the elastic and sew it smaller, then put the close the waistband up again

>>9695937
most petticoats I have owned make it super easy to snip a hole on a seam then tighten the elastic up. either saftey pin it or sew it in place.

if you don't have time, or have a petti in which the elastic is sewn to the waistband all around, then I use safety pins.

>>9695177
Usually you become friends by having a common interest outside of lolita (like anime/manga, board games, tv shows, cosplay, music, etc) so you actually have stuff to talk about. Sometimes there's fb friends who host movie or board game nights (that's what 2 of my friends do) which is for friends who show interest... also if you're looking for a lolita friend, try the friend thread! I know several people who connected online that way

>>9695941
Exactly, if they get off on being kicked out then that's fine as long as they stay the fuck out.
Honestly, seeing the few anons in this thread defending this guy repulses me almost as much as the dude himself. Get it together, girls, you're throwing your comm members (and to some extent the fashion itself) under the bus to defend a sissy who's here to fap on you and everything you love.

>>9695997
the problem isnt the people defending him. the problem is that its a CLOSED GROUP, not a comm at all, and someone(s) been screenshotting everything going on there and posting it here. if someone there has a problem with the men they can be dealt with internally but instead they come here to start shit, which means the "uwu acceptance" mods protect the guys even harder. its fucking frustrating

>>9696065
I will agree that's not an okay thing to do as a principle, but there are a few anons in this thread specifically defending this guy and what he does, like this anon: >>9695309
>let him enjoy what he wants
No. I'm not even in this group and this disgusts me. Closed group or not, by whiteknighting him like this you girls are a part of the problem.

>>9696065
>mods protect the guys even harder
This group is cancer and everyone should just leave and make a new group with rule number one
>No sissies or sissie-defenders

>>9695213
Are you me anon? I find it really hard to make real lolita friends despite being quite active in the comm. I used to hang out with some lolitas who talked about fashion all the time, it was a fucking nightmare as they would lose interest if you discussed anything else. Keep on trying, talk to new lolitas, and see if you can talk about other topics while in frills.

>>9695877
>a woman
>XY chromosomes
One of these things is not like the other

>>9694291
Going home from work I saw an old school ita lacemonster on a cute girl today. I think she probably didn't even recognize what I was wearing (classic) as lolita, just as well I guess. She looked so happy with her outfit though, it was kind of cute in a naive way.

>>9694309
I have severe dietary restrictions, no bread (no cake or cookies or chocolate or anything either), no sugar, no alcohol, but I'd go to these meets anyway if they're well organized, just for the company, and can get by on tea and coffee. Why get offended at people eating normal things and drinking normal things just because they choose to be special snowflakes? Eating meat and drinking alcohol is pretty widely spread in the West, in Japan, places where you have the biggest coms.

>>9695236
lol what a cunt. Married men with kids creeping on community full of young girls
>but whyyyyyy is it a problem?
>whyyyyyy won't you accept me creeping

This kind of guy is as bad as the oversensitive SJWs, they're cancer.

>>9695309
You gtfo, you pedophile enabler.

>>9695331
Exactly. Read The Gift of Fear. Your intuition is not just irrational female feels, your body is on alert for a reason, and that reason is there's a threat.

>>9695559
wtf is wrong with you?

>>9695816
If I hear one old man waxing poetically at a meet about how good the petticoat swishing feels around his balls and cock, I'm gonna call the cops, I swear. Dollars to donuts the asshole has CP on his computer.

>>9696142
>Married men with kids creeping on community full of young girls

Ok, so what about lesbians who want to join the fashion? Also "full of young girls"? Most of us arent that young, anon.

He asks very legitimate coord questions in the groups which makes me believe he is actually here for the fashion. Most pedophiles arent this interested in learning about the fashion. if you dont like him, GET OUT OF OUR FACEBOOK GROUP YOU TROLL

>>9696189
fuck off jenna

>>9695819
>>9696189
Why are you intentionally blurring the issue? Sissies are creeps, this guy is on your comm for predatory reasons, and all the what-abouts in the world won't change that.
Why bend over backwards to defend someone like this?

>>9695893
>>9695924

Between tights, bloomers, petticoat and skirt/dress you have multiple fitted waistbands sitting around your stomach. Or course they're going to dig in no matter how thin you are.

>>9696203
B-but anon think about this guy's fee-fees! You shouldn't be so mean, we have to embrace every middle aged man who wants to wear frills and jack off on us, it's only fair!!

>>9696189
Lesbians don't swing their dicks around and expect to get brownie points for it. Take your mansplaining somewhere else, robot.

>>9696189
Do you have any proof that he's not pervert, besides "legitimate coord questions?"

My medieval times location has been lax on the dress code as I saw a few people in book versions of GoT cosplay. Would it be silly/childish to host a small medieval times meet?

>>9696385
That might be fun. It would be worth it to call ahead and mention that you wear eccentric fashion though.

>>9696125
Transphobe detected.

>>9695236
>wants to be accepted as a legit brolita
>has a fucking beard
t r i g g e r e d

>>9695236
Where was this posted? I remember seeing him post in the LA comm a few weeks back and no one seemed upset with him.

>>9696451
EGL Chatbox

>>9696199
Fuck off Lauren

>>9695294
>>9696142
>>9696491
>>9696199
What sort of drama is going on in the LA comm?

>>9696508
Jenna's just an ugly ita who likes to whiteknight sissy creeps

>>9696208
I agree we should make an event out of it, it will be fun!

>>9696531
We could make it into a tea party!

>>9696199
Jenna as in NaturallyRacist?

>>9696542
I remember her trying to add me on facebook years ago... She is far from "cute".

>>9696542
Yes

>>9696542
More like NaturallyIta

>>9696528
Maybe she defends creepy males because she looks like one.

If you all hate me so much you just make me more famous, keep hating haters but leave the group alone. It's a save space for everyone not for you trolls

>>9696584
So naturally cute~ uguuu~*~*~*

>>9691479
For some reason, I know a lot of people who hate the portland comm. I think it's ok. You never know who you'll meet. Some people are nice, some are annoying.

>>9696564
Jenna, what the holy fuck is going on with your shitty hair? How can you pretend to be a model when you look like literal shit?

>>9695236
>Mfw im a married man with kids and think this approach is creepy and underhanded as shit

Dude is trying to passively bully his way into the group. Im comfortable with just being on CoF, anything else is just pushing my luck

>>9696203
Why the fuck aren’t you people who are bitching complaining to your mods about it? It’s not going to accomplish anything here.

>>9696624
The mods are defending the creep

>>9696626
The mods openly stated that if anyone has an issue with the sissies to just pm them with reasons instead of spreading rumors here. They cant take action related to things posted here because it could easily be board roleplayers causing the drama/upset rather than actual concerned group members. You a member? Go pm a mod. Be the change you want to see.

>>9695583
shoutout to the one "brolita" who showed up to a tea party wearing a fetish maid uniform and still didn't get kicked out. GG comm mods

>>9696642
sweet jesus

>>9696626
How do you even know when everyone’s anon here?

Half the chat box mods don't even want the sissies around but what can they do about it if no one comes forward with actual proof that they're sissies? All this fucking PC sjw save space BS is ruining the comm.

>>9695937
Wtf why not just sew the waistband to itself in a couple places

>>9696661
Innocent until proven guilty is such a terrible way to handle him, though. By the time anyone has proof that he's a pervert, it is because he preyed on them.
If he sets off the creep radars, it is probably because he is one. At the end of the day, kicking out a (probably not) innocent brolita, is not as bad as letting a community member be his victim.

So uhhhh
This very probably mentally challenged girl is coming to an omaha meet soon apparently and man...I don't know
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VlDrTBF68l8

>>9695263
Agreed.
>tfw no lesbian lolita island to live on
It's kind of a sekrit klub mentality but guys make me very nervous and they usually don't look right in the fashion (there are obviously exceptions like Mana)

>>9695310
>muh str8 white male boogeyman
What does race have to do with it anyway? Go back to tumblr.

But in any case males should gtfo lolita. I don't give a flying fuck if you're a tranny mtf or specialgender, 99% of males look bad in lolita and i wish libtards wouldnt tiptoe around so much as to not hurt their precious widdle feefees. We are way too nice and now we pay the price by having sissies and other creeps in our comms. All of that for the sake of being PC and progressive. If a dude wanna wear a dress I have no problem with it but jesus fuck, "those" guys need to gtfo

>>9696702
but anon how else can Jenna atone for her racist sins other than by being PC to the point of endangering group members?

>>9696727
are you in the omaha comm? shes from cowspot

>>9696810
>>9696702
It's not innocent until proven guilty, it's "Everyone in the comments of the post, not just mods, are seemingly on this guys side and in support of him and the mods haven't received a single message from anyone complaining about him."
If the whole group is a save space for sissies it's not the mods fault, other than the person coming here to bitch and complain who wont just come talk to the mods, everyone else is chatting nicely with this guy and offering him advice and giving him all this attention he's asking for! Go message a mod if theres a problem, they dont do anything if no one comes forward. There's several mods and none of them can seem to agree whether to keep the guys around because Naturally Chan is "in charge" and what she says goes.

>Pic, does this look like a mod who thinks rationally at all?

>>9696821
#boycottsissychatbox

>>9696542
Can someone explain this to me? I've missed something. Or is this on lolcow?

>>9696564
I think thats just a really butt ugly picture of her. I've seen other photos of her and she's not looking manly

>>9696542
A racist, a pedo, and an ita walk into a bar...

>mfw they're all the same person.

>>9696624
>>9696626
>>9696636
If it's a safe space then they probably would kick out the person who has issues with the men in the group...

>>9697091
the pun is, they are all one in the same person

>>9697097
>one and the same

>>9697087
there is something about her on the farm from like a year ago

>>9697096
They did kick one girl this week but for unrelated reasons lmfao. That one who's always going on about her pale skin on rufflechat.

>>9697087
If you search the cgl archives you'll find loads from her.

>>9696390
Did I rustle your jimmies anon?

>>9696390
>basic biological facts are transphobic!!

>>9696584
How can something be a safe space if it’s harbouring a predator?

>>9696821
>inhuman
that escalated quickly

>>9697087
She posted something on FB about dark skin being “not her cup of tea”. That’s all I remember.

>>9697110
Wait, who? J? Deets? Did she get booted for posting too much because she does post way too fucking much.

Sometimes I think of making a new Facebook group for the comm, because there are a few problems with the current one and I would like to have a group that is active. But I am afraid it will only cause drama, plus I feel like it will not have any effect as I am not in the inner circle. It just sucks since the mods don’t seem to do much about the problems. (Yes they know about them.)

So this person posted in my local comm. Their profile is really full of red flags.
>Stolen pictures of Venus Angelic
>Anime waifus
>Stolen BJD pictures
>No other profile pictures, but digging through profile turned up pic related
>Has a recent post about starting 7th grade, but stuff before that makes that not make sense almost like it's a role play
>Fake ugu cutesy name
>Asking if there are meets in their area, but never shown any interest in coming to other meets or actually wearing the fashion.

I'm afraid to even ask the mods about this because one of them is on the crazier side of the PC spectrum and I know I'd get booted for even bringing up that this is spooky.

>>9697420
Yeah, J, I don't know much about it but I have to assume it's just because she's a raging cunt all the time. I wouldn't want her around either.

>>9695610
Which comm?

>>9695883
Or when you are too tall for the fashion and you have to keep hiking up your petti every five minutes.

>>9695971
Also use your detachable waist bow to pin your petti up higher through your dress.

>>9697770
yeah, you really gotta say something
that is a giant red flag

>>9697965
What the fuck is that image?

>>9697917
Los Angeles comm.
>>9695286
>Buffalolita Bill
fucking kek

>>9691465
These are your options:
1. Central Florida Lolita Society
2. South Florida Lolita Community

I hear both are pretty active. Good luck.

>>9698143
They're props for a movie, the original had a woman sitting in the same way posing with them

>>9697410
>thinking chromosomes have anything to do with gender
Have fun with that red pill stuck in your throat :^)

Someone from the NYC community got banned from the LA comm. I don't know much about her or the situation. Can anyone fill me in?

>>9700024
It’s literally on an active thread on this board desu

>>9697586

>>9699899
The modern concept of gender not only was created by a child abuser (John Money), it basically boils down to "it's a feeling that's whatever you want it to be uwu." I'll stick with chromosomes, at least that's based on something real and not invented and promoted by self-absorbed nutjobs.

What happened to West-End Frills (TO comm)?

>>9700553
what?

>>9700554
I realized I can't find the group?

>>9696821
No idea who this is but broadcasting drama to the entire comm is only going to make things worse. Definitely should have been handled differently, I sincerely hope she isn't a mod or any type of leadership position in the group.

>>9696821
No idea who this is but broadcasting drama to the entire comm is only going to make things worse. Definitely should have been handled differently, sorry to hear she's your leader I'll pray for you guys lol.

>>9702940
its not a comm; its a facebook group anyone can join

>>9697110
>>9697841
She's in my local comm, so I'm interested to know what she did to get banned from this community. I haven't seen her be a "raging cunt" anywhere but then again, I've stopped reading RC a while ago out of self-preservation.

>>9702940
>I'll pray for you guys lol
Thanks Anon we need it.

>>9695357
it depends how bad the trouble or reputation is. If its recent and she wants to get over it then it may still be salvagable. However, if she doesnt plan on apologizing, still keeping "her side" to the heart and is still legit batshit crazy... it may not ever happen.

Hopefully you dont mean the girl who smeared the mod on a blog, still claims its all true and then tryed buying an event ticket hosted by the mod, without apologizing because "i paid so i can come" and "it happened so long ago, just forget it". Honestly, ill admit the mod is a bitch who does retaliate when someone does actually plan a meet, but the girl still seems
crazy and should really just claim she was going through a hard time in her life and should take back like 90% of what she was claiming and apologize.

>>9703419
sure, jess

Is it weird to be uncomfortable with lurkers on the comm page? My comm is currently discussing a cleanout of “ghost members” i.e. people who joined the group and then never participated, and now a lot of people are coming out of the woodwork to say that they never post but are still reading everything. It’s said that these people are fine and don’t count as ghost members. But they honestly make me more uncomfortable than ghost members, because they’re complete strangers who have now confirmed that they look at everything we post without letting us know anything about themselves. IMO if you’re not going to be involved in the community and don’t wear lolita/are not actively working on a lolita wardrobe then you don’t belong in a local lolita fashion community group. We’re not performers or entertainers. I joined this group to talk to other lolitas, not to be silently gawked at by people who don’t even wear the fashion. Am I being paranoid? I’ve already accepted that groups like Rufflechat are full of roleplaying normies but I expected a bit more from the local community.

>>9707911
you should definitely go to a mod about it. ngl im in a few comms i only visit once a year but at least i actively wear lolita and have it all over my profile as proof. is your comm literally have these non active members and theyre just normies? thats super weird....

>>9707911
Maybe I'm just paranoid like you are but I feel this.

>>9707911
Our incompetent mod refuses to get rid of these creeps saying it's okay as long as they "contribute" by posting in the group the group once in a while. The lurkers just want to roleplay/feel part of something rather than gawk, but I still agree with you. Wear the fashion and go to meets or just go off and be a roleplay-lita by yourself. Too bad our mod is obsessed with padding numbers.

>>9707918
Not OP but in my case my comm has a bunch of chicks who have one dress, not even really a full coord, and are too "busy" to come to meets or "dealing with life", aka they're too poor to continue further into lolita but think that one dress gets them in the comm permanently.

>>9707911
You're being too sensitive. I'd rather have a bunch of lurkers that take their time to learn about the fashion and our comm than a bunch of itas at meetups. They're not harming anything and lurking is as old as the internet.

>>9707934
Can someone really be considered a “lolita-in-training” if they’ve been in the group for years but still haven’t managed to put a single coord together?

>>9707911
These lurkers are not uninterested in the fashion, or they wouldn't have joined a closed group.
I do wear the fashion, but I don't often post (go to meets and that shabang)
If you don't wear it I don't think you feel lie you can add much by posting, so I do hope they are just tying to learn, or are to shy to wear the fashion, but still really love it.

>>9707918
lol our mods could just as easily be considered ghost members. I have only met one of them and I am fairly active for a decent amount of time.

>>9707982
One mod just got "angry" (idk, she sounds kinda pissed) at the original poster because she didn't go to the mods first before asking a question?

wtf, the other mods seemed fine with the topic.
Who is the anyway? She doesn't go to meets and according to her profile I'm not even sure she lives in the same counrty????

I like some mods: they arrange meetings (pretty succesful ones too.) but then there's these other mods that don't seem to be part of the community at all. Maybe they've just been around for too long.

>>9707982
Only two mods actively wear lolita, I haven't seen the other ones wearing lolita in months. Isn't that wierd?

>>9707990
Make that years. All of the mods used to be fairly active but only three still wear it, one of those occasionally, two very actively.
I'm wondering why some of these people are mods anymore. >>9707988 The one you're talking about certainly doesn't seem to enjoy doing it at all.

I'm very new to lolita (only been wearing it for a year) and joined my local comm recently to participate in ILD. I have three main pieces and don't want to embarrass myself by wearing the same thing over and over, but I'm reading all of these posts saying that it's worse for someone to not be very active in a comm than to just not participate at all. If I go to only a handful of meets in the next year while I build up my wardrobe, am I going to weird out other comm members? I hadn't even considered this as a problem but I really want to make sure that I'm not alienating myself.

>>9708056
Going to a handful of meets is better than just going to one meet, complaining about how you're too busy to go to more meets and just lurking.

>>9708068
I definitely want to go to a few meets. I just really want to take my time building up my wardrobe and developing decent coords before going to a ton of them. I want to contribute something to the community, not be an eyesore.

On a similar note, is there anything you all wish you could have told yourselves when you were new to your comm?

Holy crap why does Houston have 50000 conflicting ILD events. They each only have like 3 people RSVPed as well, so I have no idea if people will even be there. I miss the old comm...

>>9708217
Houston girls hate to travel outside of cons because everywhere 20 minutes away is "too far"

>>9708056
Three main pieces is not bad unless you wear them the same every time over a very long period. There are a few girls in my comm who only have a few outfits and no one cares. We only care if you are creepy or are really bad.

>>9707981
You don’t know. It’s still very common in our country for teenage girls to join or follow alternatives fashions, just to show pictures to their friends and laugh. We also have a lot of cosplayers in the comm, who just like the fashion.
Most of those people will probably never join/wear the fashion, so why should we keep them in the group? If they just like the fashion and want to watch people wear it, they should just follow peoples blogs on tumblr and insta and such.
(Besides, everyone stopped posting their coords because of them, so they won’t see anything anyway.)

>>9707981
It's not about them being uninterested, it's about their motivations. Are they actually planning to wear it or are they just there to gawk? I agree with >>9708370 that if they just want to look at the fashion and not participate they should follow public lolita tumblrs or insta account, not be in our group.

>>9708238
>tfw have to travel at least an hour and a half for every meet, always

>>9708217
because people hate each other and rather do their own thing apparently.
>>9708238
i can understand Galveston being too far though but everything else seemed to happen because the hosts wanted to do something different than everyone else instead. I guess this is what happens if the mods for each comm don't make a centralized meet.

>>9707911

Just FYI that particular community has been cleaned of those "ghost members," including one that had formerly been part of the group but only stuck around to post other members to CGL. One of the mods figured out who the poster was and decided that was grounds for removal. If you still have any issues, you should contact one of the mods as that's what they're there for.

>>9708056
Just wear them different ways, with different accessories/blouses/sweaters/ect.

new thread >>9710335