/cgl/ - Cosplay & EGL

You lucky sob

My secret is that at cons, if I've forgotten toiletries like face wash or even razors, I use those of whomever I'm rooming with without asking. If they leave something I need in the bathroom or shower, I consider it fair game. I know it's wrong, but it hasn't stopped me.

>>9112235
So that one time we roomed... and my dildo was all sticky... oh god...

> likes lolita
> has kinks
> knows that kinks and lolita do not go together and have never participated in anything sexual while wearing lolita
> on a kink forum board
> new thread titled "Who likes loli girls" and I click on it because why not
> It's a picture of a pretty e-famous lolita with some past drama
> There's a video of her participating in kink
> I actually like her coords but I don't think she's sexy at all, but video is hot
> Dies a little

/cgl/ sometimes talks about her and I have such secondhand embarrassment about the video that I always close out of the thread or dump pictures until I don't have to see the conversation anymore.

>>9112287
UHM. Now I have to see the video, anon.

I have a gay crush on the best dressed lolita in my comm, but I'll never be on her level coord-wise, or even personal appearance-wise.
She's like Matilda and I'm like Miss Trunchbull. ;_;

>>9112287
link please

>>9112197
I want a friend like this too

>>9112287
where is that link anon don't leave us hanging

>>9112287
>things that have never happened

>>9112292
>>9112356
>>9112394
Honestly I would but I really don't want her to have more drama. As far as I'm aware she's not a horrible person so I'd rather not have low quality fetish material of her circling around her preferred fashion circle. However, I checked the board and the video teaser is still up (you have to pay for full length) so if you google around you'll find it.

>>9112404
Honestly I wish I didn't find it, I have no idea how to think of her now. On one hand, a lolita whose style I like likes my kink. On the other hand, the exact same problem.


If she's already known for her kink though I could probably post a link? There's a video of her and another girl in jfash (fairy kei or cult party I think? It's pink and airy) by the same person. So I'd assume maybe her comm knows.

>>9112439
Also I should mention that there's no sex or anything explicit in the video, it's literally just a kink video. Like if you like boobs, it's just a video showcasing boobs jiggling.

>>9112235
Dude, you're exposing yourself to risk of Hepatitus C by sharing razors. Stop doing that shit. You can't possibly know if that one roommate happens to be infected.

>>9112311
>She's like Matilda and I'm like Miss Trunchbull. ;_;
>comparing your crush to an actual child and yourself to a predator

anon you got some psych work to do for yourself

>>9112287
I call bait

>>9112552
I should've reworded that sentence, but I meant strictly appearance-wise.

I don't go to cons anymore because I'm afraid that the people who follow me and the ones I talk to (I draw) will hate me when they realize I'm not a cute small girl but instead a disgustingly fat autistic girl.

I feel like I approach lolita as if I were playing a game, using any points (read hard-earned dollars) I acquire towards getting more things for my wardrobe. I mean, I really love the fashion, and when I have time and energy I actually wear my things, but I can't tell if my physically-demanding job is the only reason I don't wear it more.

perhaps if I had a comm in my area I could better sate my interest, but as of right now I spend countless hours researching pieces (post-undergrad scholarly tendencies) and fucking collecting shit lol

my little sister is the only person who knows the extent of my crazy right now and I actually appreciate that she's rooted in a more normie reality. it always gives me a chuckle when she laughs at my MS paint coord WIPs. imagine a frankenstein's monster of live model & mannequin parts underneath items resized but awkwardly disproportionate. pretty cringey

I'm glad I have CoF and CGL community-wise, but I really wish I had more opportunity to go out all frilled-up

>>9112311
I'm sure you're not that ugly, anon. Even if you are, it's amazing what makeup and good hair can do.
>>9112642
This is actually pretty funny. At least you're not going into debt, and it makes you happy.

>>9112439
anon pls i need the link

i'm not here to kinkshame i'm legitimately curious now

>>9112439
Fellow lolita into kink- what was she doing in the video, if you can say at least that? I'm always curious about what other kinky lolitas do, mostly because of the combo of two *weird* interests (especially since being kinky is enough to get you kicked out of lolita comms, so you never hear about it).

>>9112965
>being kinky is enough to get you kicked out of lolita comms
what? why? and how kinky are we talking?

>>9112287
So fake

>>9112965
>>9113000
People aren't kicked out for being kinky, they're kicked out for talking about their sex lives in a place where it doesn't belong.

If you want to talk about kink there are thousands of forums and websites to do so. You don't need to do it in a fashion group which contains minors.

>>9112235
You can almost always get razors from the hotel front desk.

>>9112439
>if you google around
>gives us no info on the person, the site, or video content
I'm good with google anon but come on

>>9112439
this bait is bad anon give it up

>>9112934
>>9112965
>>9113197

Sorry everyone all the other gulls are right honestly who in their right mind would ever do anything remotely kinky in lolita that's ridiculous do you even know where we are we're on /cgl/ not /d/ gosh whoever heard of bows and frills and our precious burando mixing together with kinks that's disgusting guys really we're all the bestest princesses in the world I can not comprehend the sheeer amount of summer in these posts it's like none of you ever learned about internet stories they're never ever real it's actually just a fad to trick everyone into believing bait surprise go back to tumblr with your new summerness really now I hope this thread is capped and reposted to show the world just how much bait cgl really eats don't you believe that this is so totally fake it's softcore tickling and really who would ever make a video wearing an alternation jfashion especially where they could possibly have it reposted this is ridiculous i can not comprehend the bait eating in this thread and if it’s totally impossible to find then lol it’s your own fault for believing that there could ever be kink videos ever made with lolitas


What happens on /cgl/ stays on /cgl/

>>9113319
If you're trying to bait people, please at least use punctuation to make your posts legible.

>>9113121
oh that's a relief. I thought that might be what you meant but I'm not sure. yeah I don't talk about that shit with people unless I know them pretty well or they bring it up first. and I agree, there's a time and a place.

>>9113377
>I'm not sure
should be
>I wasn't sure

>>9113319
>has literally watched a vid with a girl in a btssb jsk
ok anon, calm the fuck down with your illiterate ass

I normally really like the idea of crossdressing, and lolita is something I find aesthetically pleasing at times, but brolita doesn't seem all that appealing a concept, which seems weird to me. If I knew there was a comm in my area (north london) I might be more interested, but otherwise it just doesn't seem appealing.

>>9113319
anon, there are a lot of people who do kinky things in lolita (pic related) but I don't know if that's what I'm supposed to be defending because I cannot tell if you're being sarcastic due to how illiterate you are desu

>>9113632

How passable are you?

>>9113899
>pic related

Is it his wallet chain?

>>9113899
Is taking a picture with your bf kinky now?

>>9113909
not very, I'm relatively slender but have a fairly masculine frame and face.

>>9113899
hetero hand holding is now kinky/a kink

>>9113899
now that I'm forced to search for the kink in this somehow related pic, I've noticed what an aggressive looking grip Sid Vicious over here seems to have. it looks like she's secretly getting her fucking hands crushed. is that the kink?

>>9114333
My bet is on the lolita being a sissy boy

T H I C C

>>9112197
Hate to break it to you, but that is a symbiotic friendship. It might suck not having a bff in her, but you are hers simply because you've figured out how to distance yourself emotionally. A more invested person would get sick of her shit and she would still be mental.

>I have a friend whom I remain friends with out of pity. Mostly because I can't help but think I'm one of three people who are constantly gluing her pieces together.
> She's some kind of tumblr sexuality but mostly into women and is creeper status when it comes to showing affection for me. All other times I have no problem with it, but claiming me as a wife is uncool and gives even MY friends the wrong idea since my apathy for companionship knows no bounds.
>Recently went through a few health issues. We found out she has chiari syndrome: basically her brain is too big for the skull and the health problems are from not enough space.
>Did surgery, she recovered with less annoying ticks, and friendship is better now.

I'm still stuck paying for lunch, but it is cool to have someone who will willingly watch Disney movies with so I'm not the only adult without a spouse or child in the theater. I just wish we shared a hobby since she thinks cosplay, anime and Lolita are stupid.
We have very little in common and are somehow friends since middle school...

>>9114051

What the hell are you doing awake at that time in North London?

Honestly I'm just interested that someone else in the UK is into crossplay/crossdressing. I'm not into Lolita either though but I'm probably more passable.

>>9112634
If you've somehow let people think you are something you are not on the Internet, if they find out otherwise, they will feel lied too. If you've put yourself forward as a cute small girl then you turn out not to be, people will feel deceived. If you haven't, then no one has any expectation so why would they expect you to be anything other than yourself? If you draw, drop a casual profile photo and personal FAQ of yourself on your DA (and a photo on other social media) so people can start connecting your name to your face so they know you just a bit more when they actually meet you RL. Most decent people like others more for their personality and mutual interests anyway.

>>9112287
I don't know if it's the same video that you saw (I doubt it because in another reply you said something about paying) but I did find a video with a lolita. It's tame and pretty boring to most porn but is she wearing a green dress and headbow with twin buns and straight bangs?

>>9112439
Hinting that a known-here lolita has a kink video up on a pay site is just summer bait. This is not 'your secret' and if it even WAS true, your 'toying with outing her' behavior is disgusting. Either name her or shut this topic down. I call trolling pretty much either way though.

>>9113632
You are not a very good candidate for joining a lolita comm. Many girls in them will accept a brolita who is really into the fashion (and who invests nicely in his Lolita wardrobe like most of us do) but we don't really welcome regular cross dressers.

>>9114511
I should also say that I don't know if this girl is a popular online lolita or not. I've never seen her, but there are a ton of popular lolitas I'm not aware of.

Since this is a secrets thread I'd like to know if you (yes you reading this) actually dress lolita IRL or if you just post and talk about it online. I've always wondered this about cgl.

>>9113121
I 100% agree that people who talk about their sex lives at meets is inappropriate. But my comm bans people if they find out you post on cgl, and I mean posting at all. I have no doubts they'd lay the banhammer if they found a comm member had a Fetlife account with a photo of them in lolita (even if it was a nonsexual photo, as I've come across a brolita on that site who insists it's just part of their daily wear + not their kink).

I was thinking of lolitas who are kinky in the sense that they are involved in both the lolita community and the BDSM community. Like, I'm sure no one cares if you use a flogger with your partner in bed, but I bet a lolita who was actively involved in a BDSM comm would be regarded suspiciously. I'm not saying that they'd be ~*oppressed cuz kinkshaming*~ but lolitas are (rightfully) wary of sissies/predators invading their comms.

I think the fear of kinky lolitas (in the sense that they're in both communities) generally happens because people are unsure whether or not the kinky lolita is wearing lolita fashion AS a kink versus wearing lolita fashion just while engaging in a kink- if that makes sense. You may not have lolita as a kink, but may wear lolita to a play party or even engage in a scene in lolita simply because it's your daily/casual wear. But then people think lolita IS your kink and that you get off on seeing others dressed up. Or maybe it is your kink- like you want to dom someone in lolita occasionally- but you also enjoy the fashion for nonsexual reasons. Sorry if that's confusing as fuck.

>>9114562
Why would someone post a photo of themselves in lolita on fetlife unless they want to put a message out there that lolita is part of their kink? I'd ban them for that too. We as a fashion group have the option to decide not to include people who associate kink and lolita fashion. It's up to the individual to do as they please but why would you be surprised if mostly non-kink people didn't want to include someone who is openly associating kink and lolita?

>>9114560
I do wear it, but not as regularly as I like to pretend. My wardrobe was built with the daily lolita life in mind but I end up wearing jean and a simple top way more often than I'd like.

>>9114370
isn't the girl in the picture Cadney ? as far as I know she's not a sissy. didn't know she was into kink, tho...

>>9114560
Yes. I don't wear it every day because I work from home and prefer to wear comfy clothes around the house but I wear lolita whenever I go outside.

Is this real, cgl?
Is this how sissy boys really look like?
Coming from a small town where you don't see this kind of shit, I'm really confused. What is a sissy boy?

>>9114663

>>9114667

>>9114668

>>9114663
>>9114667
>>9114668
>>9114670
Looks like all lolitas are in fact sissy boys.

Whenever I go to a con I always have the thought of finding a qt /cgl/ gf in the back of my head

>>9114423
my sleep schedule's all over the place these days

>>9114516
I understand, I just meant if I knew there was a comm nearby that might motivate me more to pursue lolita as a hobby.

>>9114573
Because that's just how they present themselves? It's what they wear when they're not required by dresscode to wear something else? It's what they feel comfortable in?

Goth people use photos of themselves in goth. That doesn't mean goth is a fetish to them. Someone who's been growing their hair out to butt-length will have that in their profile picture, doesn't mean it's at all relevant to their kinks. Same goes for piercings, make up, tattoos, etc etc etc. For some people it might be, but it's hardly a fair conclusion to draw.

I'm not even a lolita but with the way you gals constantly talk about how it's a FASHION and not a costume, maybe you should actually treat it like that too.

>>9114562
Tfw all of your comm mods and a lot of your comm goes on cgl.

Wow, glad I'm not in your comm. ironically enough, our community has no drama and we all get along.

I feel like prohibiting things like cgl just causes more drama.

>friend tells me she cheats on her boyfriend
>both friends with friend and boyfriend, but not tell boyfriend out of fear friend will stop being friend
>if i stop being friends with her, i won't be able to afford to go to conventions because i can't afford hotels by myself
>friend stops talking to me shortly after she tells me it all
>get mad, think it's too late to tell boyfriend that she cheats on him because she'll think I did it out of spite or he won't believe me
>boyfriend stops being friends with me because friend shit talks me to him and makes up rumors
>no reciepts that she cheats, she just told me in person, so he probably won't believe me at all and believe her and i'll be kicked out of the con family

I don't know if she thought this through or not because I can't say anything. It's confusing and I don't know what to do. I believe she's only told me that she cheats, so I can't anonymously do it or else she'll know I said it. I just want to go to cons alone now and not have to deal with drama.

>>9114685
That could be true however with the 'Lolita fashion' vs 'Lolita the book' uphill battle ever ongoing, it's a little bit different and a known sensitive/loaded topic. Plus your profile photo on any website is your first impression and your main one. Lolita on a fetish website will attract people who do fetishize it whether you do or not. There are several good reasons to not post that if you do NOT fetishize it or want to attract those who do. I love high heels but I don't fetishize them. I know many people do and I'm not interested to attract them at all. So I wouldn't post a heels pic as my profile photo. Same thing.

>>9114668
>impress girls with our housework and embroidery tips

at first look I was like, "absolutely disgusting," but then I got to that heading which just broke my hate lol that's kind of adorable.

>>9114699
I had a friend a few years back who would email me details of her cheating on her fiance. I knew the guy but not very well. She was always on the fence about breaking off the engagement, and I constantly pushed her to be honest and either let the guy go or at least tell him about her cheating on him and work it out.
She never did. She cut me out of her life after I tried to explain to her that she made my anxiety act up a lot with the way she treated me; she told me I was a terrible friend and told me to never talk to her again and then blocked me on fb.
It's been years. She was only part of my con group back in high school, but let me say: you're better off without her and her drama. If your con family accepts her bullshit about you without even trying to talk to you and just dump you, then they're not good friends either, so you're not losing much.

>>9113899
Delete this right now thats the dirtiest thing ive ever seen. Holy shit i mean im into some stuff but.....that...... Its such a dirty thing to do especially in public....

>>9114512
This is on a lot of other threads. Someones super desperate for attention and its not even good bait

>>9114560
I wear it but not regularly. I mostly wear it in colder weather, though I wear comfy JSKs around the house in summer.
>>9114699
Your con family is shit if they accept that without talking to you about it. Let friend and boyfriend work their drama out on their own, find a new con family if you have to, and accept that you're going to have to go to less cons because of the money situation. It's worth it for a relaxing, drama-free experience, though.

>>9114676

I think you should pursue it anyway, I bet you'll look kawaii regardless. Comms seem to generate a lot of drama and bitching, thankfully you don't need a comm to wear the clothes.

>>9113899
GEEZ anon this a worksafe board


MODS

>be me
>have PTSD type reactions around sex, lost 2 relationships due to being a weirdo about partners touching my junk, never actually being aroused with them, etc.
>go celibate
>women in con scene hit on me
>pretend not to notice
>hang out with cool lolita
>she confesses to me
>tell her I am asexual
>she unfriends me on FB
>go to 21+ convention afterparty
>drunk-dance like a sperg to electronic music I am unfamiliar with
>cute woman grabs my hand and dances with me, our bodies getting closer and closer
>no problem this is just how normal people dance hahaha
>she wraps her arm around my shoulders, puts her face in my neck
>I fake an urgent phone call and go outside to catch Pokemon

I got a fucking Dragonite so that one was a win, but anyway I think I'm going to lock myself into a chastity device just for the psychological feeling of protection I imagine it will afford.

I stole a lens from a asshole photog that I hate. It's not expensive or anything, but I can't use it because we go to literally every convention together and I don't want him to see that I have it since he's been looking for it for forever. I don't want to sell it because I like it too.

>>9114560
I don't, I just find it really fascinating. which is a bit surprising after 30-odd years of never wanting to dress girly (and still not liking/being indifferent to 99% of women's fashion).

>>9114699
cheaters should be always called out

>>9114560
I just find the daily lolita thing being as freaky as 24/7 bdsm relationship, or furries that dress up to other places than bedroom/con

I'm kind of weirdo myself but try to keep it at minimum in regular life where I don't want extra attention

>>9114663
I think it's more like they both come from same source: adults wanting to dress up as rich kids from the 19th century or something

sissy thing is the perverted side and lolita thing is more of an fashion side and I don't really get it that you get upset over the fetish people, you are both WEIRDOS the least you can do is tolerate each other

>>9114882
You should just die.

Just die to death.

If you're not tough enough to beat him up and take the lens, you shouldn't be sneaking and taking it either. Pussy.

>>9114862
>>tell her I am asexual
>>she unfriends me on FB

I had a really similar situation to this, it's surprising how acephobic women can be, even the ones who aren't your average normalfags. You'd think they'd be more chill about it compared to the constant, relentless testosterone driven fury that is being around other men but jesus christ nope.

>Lolita I've been hanging out with 'confesses' to me near the end of a con in a really cutesy way
>Tell her I'm asexual (Truth)
>She hesitates
>"..Oh! There's nothing wrong with that at all! Asexual people are really cool! It's a shame they get overshadowed so much! Besides, we don't have to have sex right away or anything, that's not what this is about at all, I just like you as a person!"
>Are you fucking serious.jpg
>About to say "What part of asexual don't you understand?"
>Decide against it and tell her I'm aromantic (Also truth)
>More hesitation, mood suddenly changes
>"Maybe you're just weird, Anon. You can't be both Ace and Aromantic, that's just called being cold. I don't know why you pretend to be all friendly if that's how you really feel about people"
>Jesus christ that escalated quickly
>Decide to lie instead
>"Okay look I'll tell you the truth, I'm not comfortable with saying it, but I'm actually gay OK? I'm just not out yet"
>Hesitates again
>"...That's totally fine Anon! I completely support you! Don't worry, I won't tell anyone - if you want to talk to anyone about it you can always talk to me!"

>>9114560
I'm slowly building a wardrobe, and don't really have enough pieces yet to wear it regularly (only have 3 main pieces), but will wear it at cons once in a while.

>>9112248
Reddit tier comment

>>9114573
How do people stand you?
>>9114562
Why even hang out with crazies who are going to reprimand you for something that goes on in your personal life?

>>9114560
I only wear lolita for about 6 months out of the year. It's too hot the rest of the time, and I hate sweating my makeup off.

>>9114562
Wow, your comm sounds a little oppressive, anon. Who cares if some lolita is super kinky outside the fashion? Not everyone has vanilla sex lives and I have no idea why that's the comm's issue. If they flaunt it within the comm, then that's a problem. I think maybe this should apply to sissies where the line is blurry, but not people as a whole.

The /cgl/ thing is sort of similar, where I suppose you could argue we have things like ita threads and lots of shit talking in CoF, but that's not all of /cgl/. Honestly, most threads have nothing to do with drama.

>>9114949
Nobody cares.

>>9114862
>>9114949
>tfw you will never meet a cute ace guy to cosplay with...and only cosplay.

>>9114949
>>"Okay look I'll tell you the truth, I'm not comfortable with saying it, but I'm actually gay OK? I'm just not out yet"
I have considered claiming this, but I can't deal with the politics of it all. Or the possibility of men propositioning me if word gets out.

>>9114969
Fuck you too buddy

>>9114976
Just fyi, any guy who is cute, single, not a creep, and in a hobby with a lot of women is probably ace or closet gay. Ask him: "Would you rather have an amazing lover or an amazing cosplay?" and see where his priorities are.

>>9112197
I'm an adult woman and there's this guy in my cosplay community who I like. Unfortunately he is 15 and gay. I would never do anything further than talking to him, but I feel so dirty and hope to not see him again because it will trigger that feeling of shame

>>9115123
kys you pedo.

>>9114949
In all honestly, anon, asexual isn't really a thing like you're thinking and you're just an asshole. Actual asexuality is pretty rare and your feelings are otherwise due to normal unattraction to someone. Tumblr's gone to town with it as well and made all sorts of "Shades of Ace", where some are romantic and even have sex (????). She might've assumed this, you insufferable snowflake.

You could've just told her you're not interested and saved yourself a lot of trouble instead of playing this "acephobic" victim game and throwing lies and random gender preferences at her.

>>9115138

I'm asexual regardless of what you've gleaned from that one incident in my life and I don't need some shitlord apologist telling me what my sexuality is, now fuck off and bother some bisexual people for being 'greedy' or whatever it is you do in your spare time. You don't know me, don't pretend you do.

>>9114938
Nah, he let me borrow it and I never gave it back, and he must have forgot he gave it to me. This was before he was an asshole, and all he wants to do is sell it now, so nah. I'm not gonna let him have that lol.

>>9115138
Or the girl could just mind her own business and accept not everyone is interested in a relationship without acting like a dick about it. I'm sure anon knows himself better than you do. If he doesn't want sex or a romantic relationship, that's his own business. But instead of lying, he should have called her out for being a hypocritical asshole.

>>9114560
Yes, 1-3 times per week depending on what I'm doing. Sometimes I break a rule like wearing sandals or no legwear but usually just wear a casual coord

I'm not even a Lolita but I buy pieces that I know the vast majority drools over.

Like those special made to order or limited edition stuff. They just sit in my closet, or when I see someone find a rare and they are saving for it I just buy it. It's shitty to say but I'm just an asshole. My college roommate visited my house who is an ex Lolita, I said she could have stuff in my closet if wanted and she found the Lolita stash. It was awkward because she thought I was really into Lolita but really I just like taking what others wants and looking at them.

>>9114560
I wear toned down jfash-inspired clothes because I don't want to attract attention, and come here for taobao and ebay threads. I do pretend to be a lolita in feels threads because I get banned otherwise though.

>>9114560
i dress ouji IRL for special occasions and regular goth daily.

>>9115176
Sounds like you like wasting money.

>>9114560
not as often as I'd like, mostly just wear it for the rare special occasion.

>>9115146
Kek. Bisexuality is real. Maybe you need to simmer down.

>>9115176
>things that didn't happen

>>9115176
>like those special limited edition or made to order stuff
Wow, this is so convincing...

>>9114560
I wear it almost daily. Sometimes I break some rule and I just call it j fashion, but I try to stick to the lolita silhouette.
It may sound stupid, but it simply makes me happy.

Hey, asexual people on this thread. I have a question.
I had this ex girlfriend who even though I'm in a relationship right now, they kept insisting that we were "made for each other" and "soulmates".
I told them it would had never worked out, since I'm a really sexual person and would get sexually frustrated, and it just would be awkward to have some kind of sexual relationship with them (plus, I already have someone who I deeply love).

Months later I cut contact with them since I lost my phone, and then see their twitter. They made themselves a victim saying something like the love of their life was a piece of shit because they didn't accept that they are asexual and pretty much that I'm a piece of shit for rejecting them, when I was just respecting their choise to not have sex and their sexuality in general.

I just don't understand, if I respect them, they get mad. And if I don't, they get mad. Either way they victimize themselves.

>cgl related: they cosplay tumblr shit

Hey, asexual people on this thread. I have a question.
I had this ex girlfriend who even though I'm in a relationship right now, they kept insisting that we were "made for each other" and "soulmates".
I told them it would had never worked out, since I'm a really sexual person and would get sexually frustrated, and it just would be awkward to have some kind of sexual relationship with them (plus, I already have someone who I deeply love).

Months later I cut contact with them since I lost my phone, and then see their twitter. They made themselves a victim saying something like the love of their life was a piece of shit because they didn't accept that they are asexual and pretty much that I'm a piece of shit for rejecting them, when I was just respecting their choise to not have sex and their sexuality in general.

My question is, did I do wrong on turning them down, even though I had my reasons?
I just don't understand, if I respect them, they get mad. And if I don't, they get mad.

>cgl related: they cosplay tumblr shit

>>9115474
Not really the place for this, but she's in the wrong here. In the same way it wouldn't be homophobic for a straight person to not want to date a gay person, you're not prejudiced, the two of you are just incompatible. The girl needs to learn to handle rejection. The fact that she goes after someone already in a monogamous relationship also reflects very badly on her.

>>9115474

You made the right choice and she's butthurt about it because she thought you were the one. She'll get over it.

Also bear in mind that to an asexual, we can't fully empathise the feeling of a high sex drive. Some of us might piece together an understanding of it, like me, but we'll never relate. So you can see from her point of view it must be cruel and seem shallow that something as trivial as sex can destroy what she thought was the only relationship she'd need.

My instinct is to agree with her, but my common sense tells me that this is something important to most people.

>>9115176
>like those special made to order or limited edition stuff
>limited edition stuff
anon, all brand releases are limited edition, if you're going to bait try to actually put effort into it

>>9115494
For reference, having a high sex drive is like being hungry, but without ever getting to the point of actually starving obviously.

You can control yourself around food even when you're really, really hungry and not eat it. But that doesn't mean you don't constantly think about it, wish you had it, imagine all of the delicious foods you could be eating at that very moment. You get snappy and bad tempered and hangry because of being denied food but having to be constantly around it.

To take the analogy a little further, now imagine that the quality and quantity of the food is directly correlated to how attractive you are most of the time. So when you don't get food, the most logical assumption on your part is that you're ugly. So now you're hungry, bad tempered and your self esteem is part of the equation too.

>>9114615
No, it's Lor.

>mfw /cgl/ completely misses the joke in the lewd hand-holding pic

y'all bitches need Jesus

>>9115146
Your response tells me everything I need to know about you.

>>9115534
this isn't /a/

I have a boyfriend who I really care about. I can see myself living with and potentially marrying him down the track.

However a part of me really wishes I had a lolita or aristocrat girlfriend instead.

>>9115488
>>9115494
Thank you, anons!

>>9112197
that gif is hilarious for some reason, love that 80s shoujou looks.
is natsu e no tobira about boys love though?

>>9114706
Fetlife is a fetish website, but that doesn't mean you HAVE to have a picture related to your fetish. Some people like to highlight their hobbies in their profiles, just like they would on a dating website/social media website. A lot of people have profile pictures of themselves doing normie crap- sitting on a boat, posing at a party, a closeup of their face, etc. Seriously ANY alternative to the infamous dick pic profile pic is fine by me on that site. If lolita is your casual wear or you just think wearing it highlights the best of you, I don't see why you would refrain from wearing it in your profile pic. A short "this is just a fashion, not my kink" disclaimer would be fine, ignore the people who try to get you to involve it anyway.

>>9115764
Are you serious? You think people actually read any profiles?
If anon uses a photo of them in lolita it will 100% be fetishized and they will get medsages from people relating.

>>9115568
Yeah, /cgl/ would never idealize pure romance since they can get all the dicks they want anytime.

>>9115008
>cute, single, not a creep, and in a hobby with a lot of women

Or, you know, not a troglodyte. Acting like you're smart doesn't make you sound smart

>>9114560
Don't wear jfash or have too much of an interest in lolita specifically.

I come to /cgl/ for other jfash threads and to collect pictures. I don't participate in discussion about lolita specifically, actually. Main reasons I don't wear jfash at all right now is because I don't currently have the funds or the body.

I'll learn about jfashions to wear now while I'm working toward my goal, then I'll be the cutest I've always dreamed of being.

Basically, I'm here to look at cute things and dream of being that cute while I work on it.

...Is it strange?

I am agender but I don't look androgynous enough for people to actually take it seriously. I really want to cosplay a number of female characters but there's just not way I could do them justice.

>>9114560
Years ago I would post about lolita here all the time despite the fact that the only things I owned were offbrand handmade skirts and replicas. I was fat and poor. Coming here was actually a wake up call to lose weight and get rid of my replicas and now I have a job where I can afford the brand that I can finally fit into.

>>9115779
This. You can't even post shoe or nail of the day photos on normie websites without getting the people who fetishize those following and sometimes even commenting. Posting a disclaimer doesn't help. Keep fetish and lolita fashion separate or you are knowingly risking rejection by fashion comms who frankly just don't want to deal with it in any way except 'get it away from us'. I don't think most comm mods would boot you if you are discreet with your personal kink life but frankly if you are doing that correctly then no one outside of it will ever know anyway, right? If you are an open kinkster then yes, you risk rejection by many people who do not like or want to interact with kinky people and also comm mods who feel a responsibility if there are any under-18 members of their comm.

>>9114663
Something off topic on this board. It isn't included in either lolita or cosplay. There is one cross dress/cross play thread but the sissy boy topic is not covered there either.
Otherwise, get that shit out of here.

>>9115877
I'm glad the end of your story is happy. I picture many girls who post here regularly about lolita as fat with one replica skirt and trainers and t-shirt, eating Japanese snacks and shitposting. I was just curious how many will actually admit it. Some of the people here are definitely lolitas, monitoring for erupting drama, I assume but occasionally getting sucked into posting too.

The kink and porn posts, I consider just low quality bait because there have been people kicked from online groups recently for sharing way too much in the wrong place so it's a hot topic and people are bored because summer in the north. Everyone with half a brain knows how to properly keep the kink out of very vanilla environments and to not involve un-consenting people in kink discussions.

>>9114934

Consent and stupidity, anon.

The kind of idiot who thinks it's totally okay to repost your photo with a made-up fantasy story is the kind of idiot who hasn't figured out what or why consent is necessary. The kind of sissy who thinks it's okay to join a real life comm to live out their sissy fantasy and expects no lashback whatsoever, or the kind of dumbass grown man who thinks talking to an underage girl is not going to trigger any pedo red flags once her parents find out, are just plain stupid.

And no one really wants to be around that much stupid, fashion or not.

>>9115277
>>9115560
They're right though.

>>9115874
I'm closeted trans and I still like to wear my frilly dresses every once in a while, plus have a few female displays in progress. I'm too afraid to come out because I feel like everyone is going to discount me saying "well you still wear Lolita so you're just a fakeboi"

Going to a psych to hopefully start treatment soon, trying to switch my wardrobe over to ouji, but there are just one or two dresses I love too much to ever give up completely.

>>9115938
>female displays

Hate this phone, I meant cosplays

>>9114370
You are so dumb. They obviously only looked at the thumbnail and thought the chain on the guys pants was actually a leash.

Whenever I get posted on here or on btb I host a comm meet. It gives me a distraction and if it was someone from my comm who posted me it makes them feel bad.

>>9115277
You clearly don't understand sarcasm.

Whenever I sell something EGL related online I check out the buyers neighborhood on google earth/street view. It also gives me a good grasp on who might be a potential scammer if they tend to live in a poor area etc.

>>9115474
You did the right thing, anon.

My ex coerced me into having sex with him despite and I'm still traumatized by it. That cunt should be glad you cared enough to think about the logistics of the relationship desu.

>>9114663
>>9114667
>>9114668
>>9114670
TMI re: sissies.

Most sissies have a discovery and humiliation kink and are attention whores so will (without consent) involve people in their kink in order to get the disgusted rejection and shaming that they require to bust a nut to.
Do not give it to them or any attention at all.
Ignore and report posts like this because as long as they are getting a reaction, they will be getting off to it sexually and will continue to post here and wank.
If they don't get any attention, they will go away and try getting it elsewhere.

>>9115964
Whatever helps you sleep at night. I say this as someone who used to scam people (I grew up and stopped), I lived in a nice house in a wealthy city when I was doing it. Being in poor area doesn't really indicate much if at all. It's the upper middle class like me who have the education, money to put up, resources, and wits to bullshit you. The whole 'white collar crime' stereotype and all.

>>9114674
Go to a cgl meetup at a con. That will cure you fast.

>>9115856
Not strange at all. It's the concept of "lurk moar". Basically you're preparing and you'll know what you'll be doing when it comes down to it.

>>9115974
Nice story bro but experiences differ. I got scammed twice and it were those kind of people who ask for payment plans and even then only pay a week after the deadline. In addition to that, when I looked them up and saw how shitty their apartment complex looked like, the plot thickened. Of course everyone can be a scammer, but I'm more cautious with the poorfags as they tend to cause me more trouble over all.

>>9116052
This is why non-refundable payment plans, fully insured and properly declared shipping plus a disclaimer that you reserve the right to refuse any sale are a good thing. Then you don't really have to worry who buys your stuff and if they bail on the buy half-way through, at least you are partially compensated for the waste of time by keeping the partial payments.

>>9114668
Honestly, the thing that most confuses me is that it's 'Britain's no.1 magazine' and has the price in Euros. If you're putting that much effort into your ugly-ass fap material there's no reason not to use the £.
>>9115856
No, that's not odd at all. It's a good place to learn about jfash and related things like skincare and makeup; even if you're not at the point where you're able to wear this stuff, you're preparing yourself for it.
Hope you get the money and body soon.

>>9115856
It depends. Are you a fatty girl trying to lose to fit some jfash or are you a big manly dude with delusions of somehow becoming a petite cutie grill?

I have a friend whos parents paid for her school. She coasted through, didn't learn anything and moved back in with them.
She refuses to get a job that is "below her" even though her parent are begging her to get a job and move out (it's been 4 years since she graduated). She got a part time job in her area of study and uses all of the money to buy jfash, cosplay and furry shit.
If we visit each other or share a room at a con she is the cheapest, most selfish mother fucker I have ever met. Won't share food/drinks with anyone even though everyone else brings stuff to share that she helps herself to, has to be forced to tip the bellhop, and maid and pitch in for parking.
Demands all the help in the world with her costumes, then disappeares and leaves everyone once she is ready.
After our last con together she had the nerve to say I was getting on her nerves and felt I wasn't a good friend. Boo hoo.
So now I post her in bad cosplay threads and drag her on Cgl.

>>9115502
>You can control yourself around food even when you're really, really hungry and not eat it. But that doesn't mean you don't constantly think about it, wish you had it, imagine all of the delicious foods you could be eating at that very moment. You get snappy and bad tempered and hangry because of being denied food but having to be constantly around it.
as another ace guy, i am trying to understand, but since this applies to people, not inanimate food objects, it sounds horrific as fuck. it makes me think, "no wonder rapists make up so many excuses to justify what they do to people." (and no wonder an ex who basically molested me cried when i wrestled her off and needed ME to comfort HER.) i would hate myself if i felt i needed sexual contact with others this badly.

because unlike hunger, you can satisfy your arousal all on your own. it is not necessary to have someone else's body to make the physical aspect of the need go away, so to me it seems like it has to be a psychological dependence. like being so unable to feed yourself you need someone to feed you.

it seems both entitled and predatory.

>>9115938
it is when you wear only feminine/female clothing AND get upset when people misgender you that the "fakeboi" accusations happen. lots of guys wear lolita, just be happy you will look less like a freak in a dress and until you are medically transitioning do not get mad at misgendering.

>>9116423
justice 2bqh

>>9116437
>and no wonder an ex who basically molested me cried when i wrestled her off and needed ME to comfort HER

What a faggot

>>9116437
>because unlike hunger, you can satisfy your arousal all on your own. it is not necessary to have someone else's body to make the physical aspect of the need go away, so to me it seems like it has to be a psychological dependence. like being so unable to feed yourself you need someone to feed you.

That's not true at all, though, anon.

Masturbating is a whole other animal from sex. The close human contact for a lot of people is what does it with sex, they're craving the combined pleasure. They want release from arousal but they also want the human contact.

Sex is exactly like hunger, a carnal desire, it just so happens that the object of it is another human being.

>inb4 you're a rape sympathizer
>i'm not
>I was actually raped
>people still need to control themselves
>You're just ignorant of these feelings because you don't have them

>>9116439
I don't get mad at misgendering. I know I look exceedingly feminine, and I probably won't ever be super masculine anyway. I'm just concerned about the people who are directly around me, desu, my family and friends, that they'll misunderstand and actually just think I'm faking for attention.

I know for a fact there's a secret society of rich brandwhore lolitas out there with burando museums for closets. They have secret symbols to recognize each other and everything.

>>9116437
I was gonna reply but the other anon pretty much covered it.

Sex isn't just about sex, it's about feeling close to people you have strong feelings for. *That's* why people think asexuals are weird, because contrary to what you guys think, we don't think you're weird because you don't want to get off. The rest of us don't understand how you can go through life without the intimacy and closeness that it provides.

And I know you're probably going to reply to this with something about how you can feel just as close without it, but as far as I know the closest thing to sex in physiological terms for human bonding is childbirth.

>>9114560
I love the style and it's sort of the gateway drug for me, but I can't get the satisfaction I used to; too much work and discomfort for not much gain imo. I'm trying to get more Menhera stuff so I can wear it even more, hopefully daily. I like it because I have more fun wearing it, and it seems the most like me, and I don't feel like I'm pulling together looks just to impress others. So I guess I'm just a jfash nerd here, but maybe I'll cosplay one day since my bf loves making props and all that

I broke up with my boyfriend because he wanted to start wearing wigs and dressing in lolita dresses. No. Fucking. Thanks.

>>9116578
>They have secret symbols to recognize each other and everything.
the lolluminati

>>9115277
>This thing you are feeling is not real
>It is not a real feeling that actually exist
>This emotional, uncontrolled, entirely subjective response of yours is not actually something that is happening

There's some legit criticisms of the ace community, namely this thing where suddenly ace people face the same kind of opression as HBT people do or where anyone who's not 100% down with society's incredibly narrow idea of a healthy sexuality, or has any sort of complex response to sex and attraction, must be some sort of ace.

But what you're saying is just kinda dumb.

>>9115474
Nah. It's the same as with any relationship; sometimes people just can't fulfill each other's needs. If you turned down a guy because you're straight that wouldn't make you homophobic.

I dated an ace guy for a while, and it wasn't a problem at the time. Today it might be, because libido fluctates and all that. But it's essentially same game as why some people don't do any sort of distance in their dating.

On topic: I'm constantly trying to balance my narcissist, attention-craving ass with being the kind of person I want to have in my comms, and it's so exhausting. I wish I didn't feel so validated by attention, but I do, and I'm insanely jealous of people with big follower numbers, even if they're my friends. I catch myself thinking that they don't deserve it, only to remind myself that skill isn't what instagram values. I try and find a comfort in my own skill, but truth is it's not very impressive right now either, I just put more effort into doing actual photoshoots instead of selfies, and accuracy.

I joke with my friends about how I am the cosplay elitest, but a while back I found out some aquaintances had disconnected themselves from me because they found me elitistic and intimidating. I try to be the inclusive and "everybody can cosplay" kind of person, especially when many of my friends just don't share my ambitions, but it feels like I'm just lying to get people to like me.

>>9116644
the illumipetti

I find myself sexy when i take off my lolita clothes especially when they are really fancy like a full shiro lolita coord with a bonnet and shit.
All these layers to take off slowly.

Taking off my bonnet and taking off my platform shoes, making me instantly smaller.
Slowly unbuttoning the blouse's little rose shaped buttons and letting my petticoat and my skirt slide down at my feet after i unlace the skirt waist ties.
Being left in only my bloomer and a frilly tank top and frilly socks that i take off as well, revealing my knees and my dainty feet. Letting my bloomer drop to the floor and the frilly tank top join the fluffy pile on the floor, only leaving my slim,soft body and milky skin wrapped in small pastel underwears, as i untie my braided bun that falls in waves on my shoulders.
Lolita makes me feel pretty. Kinda ridiculous sometimes, but pretty (and cute).

>>9116698
Sounds like a sissy's wet dream wank story. Most lolitas I know flop off their shoes and wig, loosen their ties and peel off their lenses and lashes and sigh with relief and eat a snack.
#realfrilllyfe

>>9116608
are you a lolita yourself?

>>9116644
>>9116690
Frilluminati

>>9116690
>>9116714
their meeting hall looks like a masonic lodge but all pink and frilly

>>9116698
This is cute, you should feel pretty. I really wish more people had this confidence. The good thing is if youre actively looking for some type of relationship it will be really easy to find someone who enjoys lolita because of your confidence in it.

>>9116712
Haha yeah that's what happens most of the time tho. And if i have a wig i just yank it off and grunt a "finally". And proceed to just take off my shoes cursing under my breath because i always hurt my goddamn feet. I have light makeup so i can't imagine the discomfort of lashes and lenses, god, you guys are actual demi gods for that.
We love lolita yet we suffer in it.

>>9116717
Aww thank you anon. Well, really, i'm a shy 18yo girl and sometimes i feel ridiculous in lolita,am not really confident,feel ugly sometimes... But i have the luck of having awesome equally weird friends that support me and are even currently trying it for some (tomboy fujoshit friend bought a To Alice dress and stuff "so we could go out in lolita together next month"). Even if they are far away for 99% of them, their support always reach my heart. I wouldn't have the courage to do so if there wasn't at least some kind of community with lolitas i can look up to.

>>9116716
Bwahaha i need to draw this, if only i was home right now i would do it on the spot

>>9116714
fuck this one is the best

>>9116712
I shed my brand like a snake sheds its skin, in a haphazard trail to relief.

>>9115953
No, you're the one that doesn't understand. They're saying bisexuality is the real sexuality.
>>9115977
You sound like you have a /cgl/ meetup secret, anon. Confess.

>>9116734
Nothing juicy, I've just lurked near 2 different 4c con meet ups, casually eavesdropping because curious. Scary weeb people, anon. Especially the girls.

I heard lolita and /cgl/ girls are awful human beings
But what in specific makes them awful

>>9116740
Lolitas are actually lizard people. They shed their lolita skin as soon as they are alone.
Hiss hiss. Soon we will take control of the world.

>>9116687
If you're genuinely making an effort to be a less shitty person good for you. I don't think it's bad that you're trying to get into a mindset completely different to your current one, it'll take time for any permanent changes to happen but one day you'll notice you're genuinely not a huge bitch and don't care so much about attention and I promise you it'll be worth it.
Stick with it, anon.

>>9116714
>>9116716

Yes they have secret tea parties at exclusive locations normally reserved for actual vip. They fly in from all over the world for these extreme OTT events. They're old money in the first place, so maybe they do have parents in these orders.

>>9116806
You might just be closer than you know even though of course this is all just a light jest. Wink~nudge~wink.
Of course.

>I'm hosting this large meet
>another large meet is being thrown nearby shortly after mine
>tons or people are coming to mine
>less than a third are going to theirs

They had been trying to ask how I managed to throw such a large meet, and were fucking rude about it. I can't wait to watch it burn.

>>9116472
>Sex is exactly like hunger, a carnal desire,
Except you will die if you don't eat. You won't die if you don't get laid.

Suicide doesn't count.

>>9116437
It IS entitled and if not predatory then at least guilt-inducing.
We don't whine or badger our partners for food so neither should anyone do that regarding sex but still, people do it. And say it's because of desire. I'm not even Ace and I still find that gross and manipulative behavior.

>>9116592
>Sex isn't just about sex, it's about feeling close to people you have strong feelings for.
for a lot of people, yes. but remember that >>9115502 was specifically talking about a high sex drive (not an average one), and was describing it in very specific ways that did not appear to take intimacy or discretion into account.

>But that doesn't mean you don't constantly think about it, wish you had it, imagine all of the delicious foods you could be eating at that very moment.
>now imagine that the quality and quantity of the food is directly correlated to how attractive you are most of the time.

i myself interpreted things like the above to apply in general to attractive people around the person with a high sex drive, not focused on one particular person. i can see now how it could have been intended either way.

when focused on a particular person, the hunger/food analogy could work if i think of it like an infant who needs to nurse. formula dispensed by a machine could work, but the ideal situation would be satisfaction from a nurturing human. (cross-reference Harlow's nasty monkey experiments, where baby monkeys prefered the non-food-giving but cuddly machines to the cold food dispensing ones.)

>The rest of us don't understand how you can go through life without the intimacy and closeness that it provides.
i cannot speak for others but one reason i use anonymous image boards because i do not like intimacy. i may be open to it with the right person someday but my experiences with dating and friendship have led me to prefer solitude.(this is just the situation i am in, not any kind of statement about how people suck.)

>And I know you're probably going to reply to this with something about how you can feel just as close without it,
2bh it would not occur to me to say that. i don't have any kind of "ace philosophy" or party line to follow, and i am not familiar with what others say

>>9116732
THIS

>>9116886
>I'm not even Ace and I still find that gross and manipulative behavior.
i think most reasonable people do (or hope)

>>9116897
I am that anon kek. I know what I was specifically talking about, or rather what I intended, if it didn't come across properly.

Whether a person is in a monogamous relationship or sleeping with many different people, the analogy still applies imo. It's a complex issue with a lot of facets to it, and individuals place different value on different aspects. It's not just about satisfying the physical urge, though with that post I was just trying to give an approximation of what that specific aspect feels like for someone who doesn't experience it, without delving too much into everything else. The other post was an addendum as to why sex with another consenting party is a specific and distinct desire from just getting off. Why you can't just "feed yourself" if you will. I guess it's worth saying that even for some people with high libidos masturbation is enough, but we're speaking in generalities here.

>my experiences with dating and friendship have led me to prefer solitude.

Has the definition of asexual changed since I last checked? This makes it seem as if it's a choice on your part. It was my understanding that asexuality was the absence of all sexual attraction, so would replace the label bi/straight etc. not just a choice to ignore those attractions or not act on them.

I wish the community would choose another term, asexual makes me autistically mad and confused. We're not sea sponges, we're mammals with gametes goddamn it.

>>9114699
What you need to do is talk directly to the rest of the group, ask for assistance with a problem that you don't know how to handle.

"Guys, I need your help. BlahBlah came to me and confessed something she convinced me would tear us apart if I told anyone else. I don't know why she came to me, but what she said was that she's been cheating on DerpDerp. Can any of you confirm if this might be true? I didn't know how to respond to this, has she told any of you anything about this?"
Call out the distancing between you and your friend.
Hey, I don't want to hold you up too long, but can we talk? You've seemed a little distant lately and I just wanted to know if everything was alright. Things seem ok between you and the rest of the group, did I upset you somehow?"

Especially with guys, and DOUBLY so with super seecret manipulating bullshit, direct confrontation and keeping a rational argument are tantamount.

If you want better advice, talk to r/relationships.

>>9116687
I knew an Ace girl once.
She's married with two kids now.

>>9116928
>>my experiences with dating and friendship have led me to prefer solitude.
>Has the definition of asexual changed since I last checked? This makes it seem as if it's a choice on your part.
ah, that statement was meant to describe intimacy in general, for me. it was in response to you saying that people think asexuals are weird/cold because it is hard to imagine intimacy without sex. so i was saying i do not want any intimacy at all; thus i am not the type who would say, "we can still be intimate without sex."

>I wish the community would choose another term, asexual makes me autistically mad and confused. We're not sea sponges, we're mammals with gametes goddamn it.
if it makes you feel better, "homosexual" et al. sometimes makes me annoyed because it combines Latin and Greek source roots; and the definition of "bisexual" bothers me because "homo" is "same" and "hetero" is "different" so "bisexual" SHOULD mean "attracted to the same and to different sex(es)" which would negate the need for "pansexual" but since people define "bisexual" as "attracted to both sexes"...

like, "attractred to both sexes" would make sense as a definition IF we used "gynosexual" and "androsexual" but since we use "same" and "different," "pan" should be implied in "bi" because "same" and "different" is a binary that no one can logically take issue with. you cannot be the same AND not-same, no matter what gender you identify as.

end rant, carry on. thanks for explaining things to me.

>>9116608
send him my way

>>9116608
That would freak me right the hell out. I do not blame you, I would have done the same thing.
That kind of surprise shit just ain't funny.

>>9115971
You don't know anything about sissies.

>>9115779
How is it their fault other people fetishize their picture...? If you join a dating site as a female, you'll get dick pics galore. So? Ignore people who just want to get laid and don't give a shit about your description. Don't be like one of those people and assume things that are simply untrue because you couldn't be assed to read a few sentences. It's simple.

Unlike what people think, kinksters on Fet aren't just trying to find someone to fuck. Some are, but it's more like a Facebook + Tumblr + OKCupid hyrbid.

It'd just be ignorance if a comm kicked out a person who was open about their fashion hobby on Fetlife, but I already knew that it happens and will continue happening. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

>>9117023
I know this from the handful I've actually met, they described it and I've asked them if the others they have known are also like this and they themselves said yes so I think it's not terribly far off. It's kind of creepy but kind of interesting to me from a distance, I guess.

>>9117024
If you like and respect something why would you purposely put it in a place where it is sure to be misunderstood and misinterpreted. Knowing most lolitas actively try to discourage any links they can between the fashion and the Nabokov type. Also with 'daddy doms' being the know-it-all shitwits they continually and collectively prove themselves to be, just why would you even want to make that connection (that most of us are always actively try to avoid) unless it's part of your kink? It makes no sense.

>>9112197

/cgl/ is the only board were you can tell who is a girl even if everybody is anonymous, girls redact different than boys

>>9115146
>I don't need some shitlord apologist
>shitlord

lel, spotted the snowflake.

>>9117091
>/cgl/ is the only board were you can tell who is a girl even if everybody is anonymous, girls redact different than boys
if the second part of your statement is true, then why would you conclude the first part? if it is true then it is true on all boards.

my secret is that i hate this board and it makes me feel terrible about myself, my coordinates, and lolita in general. but i cant stop coming back. im not sure if its boredom or if i really just love suffering here with all you nasty people

>>9112197
Don't feel bad. That kind of people is trash and usually give a lot of problems.

>>9117173
It's probably just summer boredom. If it really makes you feel bad though it's probably not very good to come here unless you have a reason to be reading. For me it actually reinforces the fact that many lolitas are judgemental bitches and that motivates me to keep raising my standards and striving. After all the hug-box concrit on FB and the full retard of 'the tumblr spectrum', I like the harsher tone of anon critique here.

My secret is that I look down on a lolita if she is a slob in her regular style and life and only looks decent when she is in lolita. It is always a letdown to find this out about someone. I know it is pretty petty and judgemental but I want people to look nicer in everyday life. Otherwise it does feel like they just put on a costume on when they wear lolita.
You can usually tell in person because they still walk and sit like they are wearing sweatpants and trainers and their makeup game is low skill level. Not kawaii.

>>9112197
Where do I start?
I have a locked trunk with a ton of panties and bras with skanky clothes as well as things like a maid outfit and high heels with the chastity cage and a few more things I'd rather not admit I have.
People think I'm not naturally hairy but I wax it off.
I find myself locking myself in my room a lot and my roommates (one of which I like but she doesn't need to know that ever because I hate that I am in love with her and I know it would never work) think I'm spending most of my time in there jacking off which is much better because I'm really just cross dressing because I like to feel a feminine side of me. I'm also putting on a bunch of makeup when I cross dress also and thank god the place has a connecting bathroom that goes straight to my room to it to get cleaned up from it.
I really don't want to keep running the risk of people knowing I'm some kind of sissy from cross dressing but I can't help myself. I want to cross dress because I really like it.
Thoughts of welcoming death increase but also don't want this dirty little secret to be found out when I die with all the evidence behind so I keep on living.

>>9117316
This is not a even remotely a cosplay or cgl topic secret at all. There is no place on this board for cross dresser, fetish or sissy topics at all and I'm really getting sick of it. Where is the janitor for deleting this kind of shit?
Isn't there a better place on 4chan for these kind of posts? Why do they mistakenly end up here?

>>9117326
he is trying to get a cgl gf who likes "qt traps" obv

>>9117310
I hope you are not someone I know. I think people who spend hours a day looking pretty and judge others for bit have never had to work hard enough in their lives to know what it is like to actually earn anything. We are not all spoiled princesses who fail out of college three times and live with mommy and daddy.

Looking lovely in lolita and having a grimy real life, happens.

>>9117326
>Isn't there a better place on 4chan for these kind of posts?

/soc/

He can join the rest of the mentally ill faggots there. There are trap threads full of them going 24/7

>>9117310
Same. I don't expect people to look 100% flawless at all times, but for goodness sake at least keep up with the basics. There's a girl in my comm whose hair is made up almost entirely of horrific split ends and she knows it, but "lol I wear wigs in lolita so it's not like anyone can tell XD"
I guess for some people lolita is more of a pretty princess costume than a fashion, and they don't care how they look when they're out of character.

>>9117333
>hours
You really don't need more than 15 minutes every morning to make yourself look presentable. I work up to 60 hours a week at a hospital and still manage to make my eyeliner look at least symmetrical and keep my nails in good shape. Most people I know who look like absolute slobs out of lolita are unemployed or work part-time at most. It's more of a mentality than an unavoidable life situation.

>>9117333
I did not mean in their work life, obviously. Often there is little choice what to wear. I meant the people who are just uncaring slobs in their freetime unless dressing up to go to a lolita meet.

>>9117333
A grimy job doesn't usually prevent you from keeping neat nails and brows, doing regular skincare maintenance, styling your hair decently and getting hair trims and just generally looking decently pulled together. How is this 'being a spoiled princess'?

>>9117348
I'm a slob if I'm not leaving my house. I don't bother wasting my time or makeup on anything but work or going out. No one's going to see me.

My hair is also thin as split ended to all hell, but mostly because of birth control and other medication meant to keep my terrible genetics under control. Oh and not trimming it because I just want to hold onto all the volume I can get. Fuck hirsutism. I just wear wigs all the time these days, lolita or not. I won't be seen out and about without one.

>>9117345
There are plenty of people that don't wear make-up, don't style their hair in some special way in the morning and that don't look like a slob. This opinion says more about you and your look and acceptance of life and how people should look than about someone else really.

>>9117024
You clearly know very little about fet. I am speaking about that, specifically, not a typical dating site. It is a fetish website, that is why it will be fetishized. It's not a very complicated concept. If somebody put up a photo of them in lolita on a fetish website everybody will assume, if they state otherwise or not, that that is included in their fetishes in some way. Also what >>9117038 said. If they want to keep the two things seperate and have no recoil in their comm or otherwise, they should do so.

I want a brolita boyfriend. I want go on dates with him to a nice restaurant wearing lolita. I want to Dom him in our bedroom. AFAIK, most brolitas are either gay or they're big on D/s culture.

just spent a while perusing a certain big-haired lolita's tumblr for the first time and now I have a crush on her.

I'm queer as fuck but I'm not really used to crushing on feminine girls. she's just so wacky and true to herself...and ngl her curviness is topadorbs imo.

I'm not sure I'll ever meet a lolita in my actual life that I'd consider dating. If I ever found myself across the pond, and ran into her, I'd absolutely buy her a drink and a bonbon.

>>9117345

>I work 60 hours in a hospital

Ha. Ha. Hahah.

I'm breaking 90 hours this week. Don't talk to me. Right now I'm deciding between food, sleep, and finishing documentation. makeup can suck its own dick.

>>9117108
I thought like that until I started going on /co/.

>>9117326
Do you realize how much of this thread was spent analogizing food and sexuality, friend?

>>9118256
My hospital friends work 12 hours or more a day sometimes back to back. They think make up can sick a dick too.. poor fellers. They're so worn out and it sucks.

>>9112197
I drink coffee and eat shitty food so I can get real nice shits during the con because anything is better than constipation.

>>9117308
Agreed. My first coord (which was only a few months ago) was absolute shit and ita as hell. But I never would've realized it was so awful so quickly if I never came across /cgl/'s ita threads and general nitpicking. My coords look fine now, although they're admittedly a bit boring currently.

>>9118553
There is nothing wrong with solid but a bit plainer or more traditional coords. Especially if you wear it often at all. Most daily or frequent wearers have really solid but often more plain coords and I really like this a lot more than the lolitas who only wear it occasionally and then almost treat it like a costume with all the stuff they add.

>>9118395
No one cares and sissys can just fuck off out of this board.

>>9118571
Also, if you wear it everyday it doesn't have to be perfect. I kinda like it and I get inspiration of it. Sometimes you have to pair items that you normaly wouldn't and it can be a hit or miss.

When I went to conventions I wore kigurumi and no panties so I could pee easily.

I'm facebook friends with a disabled plus-size cosplayer. I really admire her confidence and she's a lovely person. I think it's great that she has found a hobby that not only makes her happy when she's stuck at home, but also lets her meet new people in her fandoms. However when she makes costumes she never uses a pattern to draft things and everything turns out a bit 'off' because of it and it bugs the hell out of me. She also uses way more cheap satin than I can bear. I want to say something but don't know how. Last time she asked for concrit on a jacket she was making, she ignored all my suggestions... These days she doesn't even ask anyone for advice, just posts looking for asspats.

>>9117316
>>>/lgbt/
unless it was j-fash or crossplay

>>9114663
>>9114667
>>9114668
>>9114670
Aren't these from that one project where some artist was reimagining fashion with reversed gender roles (i.e. Victorian, Regency)? These do have the same smarmy art style. I think it was supposed to be making a point, but it seemed kind of off- all the boys were illogically dressed in 50s circle skirts in more modern settings. Very sissy-esque in retrospect. Sage for off topic.

>>9118582
>>9118571
Agreed. I love following daily lolitas or lolitas that wear their lolita clothes in more casual/wearable ways. I appreciate OTT coords, but what is the point of spending $100-300 per item if you only wear it to an event once every other month (or less often)?

>>9119156
i like the way you think

>>9113319
Wow reading that made me cringe harder than I thought it would.

>>9113917
>>9114255
>>9114333

>Not even knowing the dirtiest of all sexual acts

Sure is Summer in here

>>9119257
If she's not looking for advice, why do you feel like you need to give it to her? If the costumes aren't any good, she is hopefully going to get honest concrit when she posts. Encourage her to join a sewing group where honest but kind concrit happens so she actually learns and improves. I avoid giving concrit to my friends, sometimes it negatively affects the friendship.

>>9117316
Aw I wish I could be your friend, I would even bring you to makeup stores as my boyfriend and buy makeup for you.

We could pick cute clothes together even

I like both lolita and furry, but none of them in a sexual way.

I really want a fursuit to wear with my lolita pieces, but I know people would make fun of me and say I'm disgusting, and some other furries would sexualize me.

I just feel really free to be myself when with my furry friends and the fursuit and fursona are kind of an escape. I can be cringy and say stupid things that pop in my mind and no one cares, and no one gets to see my ugly body and ugly face.

It's like no one there can judge me because we are all pretty much cringy anyway.

Also there's so much freedom to design your fursona, you can be whatever you like

>>9120182
If you can't give concrit to your friends and them genuinely listen to you, regardless of whether they choose to follow what you've said, you're not really friends.

>>9120236
This depends. If one friend feels like they are always receiving criticism, they aren't going to like it. Some friends can get pretty bossy. If that friend did not accept past concrit and isn't asking for more, giving them some is pretty rude.

>>9120182
OP here. I want to give advice because she costumes would fit better, flatter more and even be quicker to make if she used something as simple as a bodice pattern rather than having to eyeball it and adjust every single time. Because she's had a fair amount of media coverage and I want her costumes to be the best that they can be so she's as proud of those pictures/documentaries as possible, especially in the future.
Also because I like sewing and improving my craft and it would be nice to share those skills to help someone who is hugely creative fully realise the idea in their head, because when you imagine a jacket the peplum isn't an inch shorter on one side with a wrinkled up button placket from a slight cutting error and lack of interfacing...

>>9120182
OP again, my phone posted part way through. The idea of a sewing group is a really good one. Can anyone recommend a good cosplay sewing group on fb?

>>9117316
God, sissies and ageplayers are the most disgusting of kinksters.

>>9120295
Well, it goes both ways. It can be a failure on your part to word or present the criticsm in a way that's good for them. Friendships are ideally reciprocal, you give and take.

>>9120230
Most lolitas really dislike people wearing the fsshion with a fur suit. If you do this, Bette never let your local Lolita comm find out.

I think there is something wrong on a deep level with people who say they need to hide themselves to be themselves.

>>9120414
>I think there is something wrong on a deep level with people who say they need to hide themselves to be themselves.
kinda like only expressing your honest opinion on an anonymous image board while hiding your involvement there

>>9112197
>be closet lolita
>have friends who are into harajuku fashions
>friend shows me a coord she wants to attempt
>stereotypical ita maid outfit with to many laces and bows
>"it looks fine anon"
I have to lie to my friends each time because i don't want to crush their desires but at the same time I want to give them pointers

>>9120425
Being anon sometimes to discuss controversial matters is a bit different to me. We aren't trying to escape the reality of who we are by hiding ourselves away here.

>>9120429
>closet lolita
Do you mean you don't wear your frills in public/in front of your friends, or that you're a lolita "at heart"?

I cant stop buying cosplays from Taobao. I have so many now and it hasn't cost me much but I still feel pretty ashamed over it.

>>9120542
Why are you bugged? Sounds fun to me as long as you can afford it.

>>9120544
I guess because now I have more cosplays than cons. I can afford it but I always get anxiety whenever I feel myself having a good time.

>>9118256
Ngl I read this and thought ...Why? What's it getting you. It's not like those 90 hours are building you a business. It's your time going towards making $$$ for someone else. Wouldn't you be better off workimg less. Be careful you don't get adrenal fatigue or something.

>>9120583
Aw, just dress up, be cute, take snaps. Fun is good, anon.

>>9112642
Try using Polyvore for making your co-ords, anon. Good bit easier than ms paint.

>>9120583
Any decent photographers in your area? Do a photoshoot. And if not just make an instagram and take cute selfies. or wear multiple cosplays per day to the con. problem solved.

>>9120662
People in medical professions always brag about how many hours they work but like, the more unreasonable the hours the more shit your job is. Congrats for being unable to do better.

>>9120662

Because I like the work overall but it's a lot of fucking effort. In any case my pay is stabler than a lot of anons who post here and I feel pretty fortunate for that.

>>9121037
I can't assume much about your job but I can assure you that I'm pretty happy where I'm going. I'm pretty much guaranteed to get better pay and hours in literally two years so :^)

https://youtu.be/XIFtG4JIaHE
>that sing is where I first heard about lolita
>It took me ~10 years get to making a coord
>I still really like the song even though the lyrics a definitively not about the fashion

>>9121619
10 years? Why the hold up?

>>9121732
not that anon but i waited since 2002 or so. shy poorfag problems.

(one good thing to come out of waiting was i established a personal aesthetic apart from lolita, and got good at being thrifty)

>>9112235
You can get toiletries from the front desk or the concierge.

>>9121732
A mix of financial, lack of drive to do it/ nowhere to wear it.
I was ~14 when I first heard that song, meaning I want even HS yet. So I had no money, and since I live in the sloth and am a guy if probably have been suspended out something if I tried to wear it.
As is I'm still living with my dad/ stepmom and I'll never inform them that I'm kinda into Lolita because they'd probably flip shit. My mom is supportive though.

>>9121791
it drives me crazy when people freak out over men interested in feminine things because it implies stuff women like is inherently shameful.

>>9121805
Yeah :/
I think my dad/stepmom wold be mad because they'd assume I was doing trans stuff, but no, literally I just think the dresses are cute.
I've actually got a friend who keeps suggesting hrt but I've no interest in that, I fit in dresses ok as I am. Perks of being on the edge of being a manlet.

>>9121845
Plenty of straight cis-males want to be the little girl.

>I get triggered 90% of the time when people reply to me on here
>write out huge defensive post
>click x because I remember it's anonymous and I can literally always pretend it wasn't me
>still get triggered every time someone says I have shit taste. still have slight fear someone will check my IP and see that I post multiple replys in one thread.

>>9121805
If it's one-sided, totally yes. Sometimes though it's just people following the men-are-men, women-are-women line.

>>9122114
i make up shit all the time here while also being stupidly self-revealing while also pretending to be random people

you're fine, all our IPs are connected to dumb shit. the technoarcheologists of the future will have a grand time figuring us out.

>>9122114
Getting triggered is a bad thing, but posting multiple contradictory things in the same thread? We all do that.

My secret is that I'm just too scared to open up to anyone I've met through my local comm or conventions and such, even after multiple meetings and being approached to hang out with them; I just get so scared and nervous about judgement I just avoid their invitation somehow. I feel like such an asshole, but I just become overwhelmed with all these reasons to never let go and have fun. I suppose being conditioned to feel guilty for everything by my parents upbringing has me unable to reason that I deserve that much fun when I have things to improve regarding myself and my life with that time instead. I hope no one hates me for it. I hope I haven't hurt anyone's feelings.

>>9122168
I doubt anyone will hate you but if you continually refuse then invitations will stop too. No one likes to be refused every time so they will just stop asking you. Try to accept some smaller invitations and let yourself at least try to learn to have a little fun.

I'm a cishet Homestuck fan.

>>9121066
I hear you, got to keep the wolves from the door. Glad to hear it won't always be a slog. Still, be careful. Your health matters too, and getting to lead some semblance of a life.

>>9114949
Shoulda just said "I don't like you that way. Can we be friends?" That's what I tell everyone

>>9122229
But isn't Homestuck dead?

These are more peeves than secrets but I don't want to make a graphic for a new thread.

I get tired of seeing so many 'Lolita on a budget' topics and hearing about people's cheap finds and second-hand crap unless it's a really good burando bargain or nice vintage piece. Otherwise, we get it, you are proud of being 'super thrifty'. Don't worry you don't need to mention it a lot, it shows.

When a quiet or shy lolita finally breaks out of her shell more and starts to show her real personality and you discover she's really a super tacky weeb with terrible manners and very few social skills and then you really wish they would have just stayed quiet and shy. At least they were polite and not obnoxious.

>>9114949
Turns out girls don't like feeling friendzoned either.

>>9115952
This is actually a really sweet idea. <3

>>9116687
>On topic: I'm constantly trying to balance my narcissist, attention-craving ass with being the kind of person I want to have in my comms, and it's so exhausting. I wish I didn't feel so validated by attention, but I do, and I'm insanely jealous of people with big follower numbers, even if they're my friends. I catch myself thinking that they don't deserve it, only to remind myself that skill isn't what instagram values. I try and find a comfort in my own skill, but truth is it's not very impressive right now either, I just put more effort into doing actual photoshoots instead of selfies, and accuracy.
>I joke with my friends about how I am the cosplay elitest, but a while back I found out some aquaintances had disconnected themselves from me because they found me elitistic and intimidating. I try to be the inclusive and "everybody can cosplay" kind of person, especially when many of my friends just don't share my ambitions, but it feels like I'm just lying to get people to like me.

I'm sorry but are you me? I value skill and accuracy but I know I don't put out enough photoshoots frequently enough to have a high follower number... and try as I might to not be bitter about it, it's really hard to watch friends in stapled together costumes have their pages take off.

>>9116714
fuck I laughed far too hard at this

>>9120333
>she's had a fair amount of media coverage
MisaonWheels?

>>9115964
I check out their Facebook and social media before/during the buying process. I won't buy if I know they're a fatty (and they haven't mentioned plus sized friendly!) because I know it means they probably stretched it/I fear BO smell. Also if they're super ita or have a ton of Pets in their photos but don't mention them I won't buy.

sometimes I wish I got posted to ita or nitpick threads due to vendetta but because I refuse to post on CoF I usually fly so far under the radar.

>>9122601
I find the idea that friendzoning is a male only thing to be intensely stupid. Everyone has unrequited love and at some point nearly everyone is going to be an entitled ass about it. That's life and that's what friendzoning entails. Nothing more.

>>9114560
I don't do anything. I just like reading and attending conventions, although for my next convention I'll be cosplaying for the first time. Been lurking for years though.

>>9114560
Nope, I personally don't, I just like how catty this board gets at times and am interested in the fashion and cosplay.

>>9122712
I always thought "friendzoning" was the simple fact that for many people, once you've become their friend, they won't be interested in you romantically. (Which has been my personal experience, too - virtually everyone I've ever dated or even hooked up with was someone I just recently met. The two exceptions ended disastrously.)

Somehow, over the last two decades, it morphed from "don't waste time secretly pining over unrequited love for a friend - ask them out or accept them platonically" to "Our friendship entitles me to date you, being friends is sign of romantic intentions, why else would you be kind to me".

>>9122884
I disagree with being friends and then dating not happening. My most disastrous relationships came from dating someone I had met recently. My best relationships have been with people I was friends with and knew before dating.

>>9122898
I used to think it would be that way, but my personal experiences turned out very differently than yours.

Learning about the "friendzone" helped me stop mooning over girls I had crushes on and start asking new people out.

YMMV.

>>9116698
This was somehow very satisfying to read. I think I'll try looking at myself that way, maybe It'll give me more confidence.

>>9120536
Mixture of both

I'm a closeted brolita. I've been buying main pieces slowly over the last two years, but I've never put together a coord or worn it out of the house. The only lolita friend I have live 9+ hours away so I can't join her comm, and I'm too scared to try to find a comm near me. Don't want to snoop or try to join FB groups too much in case it's somehow visible to my coworkers or family that I have on there. Not to mention, a group looking at my profile would probably assume I was a creep or had hit join on accident since I don't post about lolita at all.

>>9123346
this is why many lolitas keep a separate page for their lolita life. you can keep a second, private profile with lolita-related profile pic and header, and join groups with that.

it would also be good to post HERE for concrit, in the brolita or coord help thread, to make sure you look good before you begin joining a comm. looking competent and having full profile info in a non-weird way (not too self-revealing or self-abasing or self-promoting) will alleviate many lolitas' concerns about your potential creepiness. if your new profile shows you are following various lolita pages (brand pages are a good place to start) and no sketchy pages it will look better and you will probably be accepted into online groups even without a face pic. also see what groups your friend is in (for non-local comms, like CoF, Rufflechat, etc.) and maybe she can vouch for you.

I found out my friend of 7 years who introduced me to cons and all of my cons friends is a rapist and will distort stories depending on who she is presenting them to in order to make herself look better and sometimes demonize someone else. I'm afraid if I drop her completely she'll throw a fit about it so my only option is to distance myself from her which means losing out on a lot of free cons.

>>9115971
I agree with the other reply. You don't know anything about sissies.

>>9114949
Ace doesn't mean you wouldn't ever sex a chick, just that you probably wouldn't enjoy it. Kind of like if she took you out shopping at a store you could care less about. She probably figured if you liked her you would do it because she would enjoy it.

I talk shit about Shimakaze to blend in with my friends, but deep down I want to reenact the nut butt

>>9123775
Does anyone else know she's a rapist of just you?

>>9114670
>>9114668
>>9114667
>>9114663
Sometimes I wonder if /cgl/ isn't 99% Sissies and """"""""brolitas""""""""" roleplaying as girls.

This is 4chan after all

>>9125838
If it was, that would only make every slice of cgl-instigated comm drama all the more hilarious

>>9114949
>Decide against it and tell her I'm aromantic (Also truth)

To be honest anon if I was with anyone who said that, and I obviously wanted more, then I'd be the fuck out too.

Also not so much related to you, but people who are gay/trans/anything tumblr loves seem to never fucking SHUT UP about it.
Fuck it, I just want to talk about video games and movies, not talk about the new problematic thing of the week on how gay people are being oppressed in whatever form of media.

>>9126448
I've come across gay guys who are pretty discrete, and I presume most trans people transition and shut up. the spergs you hear bitching about oppression usually turn out straight once they mature.

>>9114949
Should've just told her what you actually meant instead of expecting her to draw conclusions from a label that is still a very vague and grey area for many people. She was confused by what you were saying and you held it against her in a vulnerable moment. You sound socially retarded.

>>9126458
Anon said he was asexual and aromantic, and the girl obviously understood what that meant, she was just being a bitch about it. Anon said nothing weird to her, but with her attitude, I wouldn't blame him if he did. You sound like you lack reading comprehension.

>>9126448
If they didn't talk about it, you might not even know. The ones you hear the most are always going to be the loudest.

>>9126448
It only seems that way. The ones who do shut up about it you probably assume are straight, because they aren't talking about it.