/cgl/ - Cosplay & EGL

>>9024465

Last ILD some crybabies in my comm bitched about not being invited to a private tea party. The tea party this time is open but they're still not coming. Guess all they wanted was to bitch about ~*elitist meanies uwu*~

To all the gulls in the Vancouver comm (which appears to be the entire Vancouver comm), I haven't been with you guys for long but all of you have been so incredibly nice and welcoming I can't wait to get to know you more. All of you are funny, adorable, and amazing and you make me super proud to be a part of your comm.

>>9024499
Is this Melbourne?
Because there's actually two tea parties over the weekend, and they're not attending either.

>when the literal retard in your comm manages to snag a tea party ticket but your sweet, popular, well dressed bff doesn't
I really REALLY wish we had the collective guts to kick or at least gently nudge her out of the comm. She doesn't even really wear the fashion, she just treats it as pretty princess dressup and would be just as happy playing tea party with a bunch of stuffed animals with plastic tiaras. Everyone is super uncomfortable around her and for the longest time now people have been planning things in secret because anything and everything posted to the comm page will likely be attended by her.

>>9024547
This sounds familiar. Is this the Dutch comm?

asking again from last thread, what's seattle comm like? i might be moving there soon and i know nobody there.

>>9024518

Yeah, so glad that Emilie Autumn wannabe who tried to get private meets banned got shut down.

>>9024547
I really think the mod's should do something about it. I mentioned it when I filled in the enquête but I don't know how to deal with these 'problem cases' either. I feel bad for new lolita's who don't know about it too, the group page looks pretty dead. But I don't feel bad enough to organize meet-ups and post them on the group page.

>>9024720
>Twin meet in Utrecht etc.
Was this posted in the group? I can't find it.

>>9024748
You're probably just too ita to see it.

>>9024748
It was added on the comm page on April 13th.

One of my comm annoyances
>noob: baww why are there no meets?
>mod: click the events tab to see the upcoming meets
>noob: oh
>repeat like once a month
Dont be that guy

>>9024684
Most of the comm is totally chill. In terms of wardrobe, it's a pretty healthy mix of brandwhore, indie, bodyline and handmade. The only individuals you may run into issues with are one socially-unaware ita (who is likely mentally ill) and just one of the mods, but they rarely show up to meets.

>>9024756
How about

>Why are there no meets that I can go to! Why can't it be the things I like, when I want it, where I want it?! Why are you guys not catering to someone you haven't met? D:

>>9024760
And the continuation
>ok complaint-chan, why dont you make your perfect meet that fits all your criteria?
>nothing

>>9024547
>>9024731
>>9024553
I think someone should inform the mods about this, if she really bothers lolitas in the comm. Or someone should talk with her about her behavior. She isn't aware of it, probably. The same with other ''problems causes''. When everyone talks about it in secret and plans secrets meet-ups, nothing will change.

>>9024756
Most of these meets aren't there

>>9024760
>oh I can't plan one can someone else do it
>never even shows up to a meet

>>9024684
You can be my lolita friend, anon.

>>9024759
>Socially unaware ita
Which one, there's a few

>>9024547
Look, no one really want her there, but your bff not getting a ticket is her fault. All you had to do was send an email between 20:00 and 20:30.

>>9024731
At big meets she isn't that bad, unless if you are stuck at a table with only her, but it does seem to have a negative effect on small meetups.

anyone a part of the St.Louis comm?

This might be a silly question, but is it at all common to intermingle with other countries' comms in Europe? Moving to East-Central Europe this fall and would love to meet lolitas in nearby countries as well.

I move to Florida soon and will be in the Orlando area, whats the comm like and whats is it called?

Is it weird that at my first upcoming meet I'm gonna be doing a photoshoot?
And what is the likelyhood of being able to go to the ILD after party if I'm a brand new member?

>>9025343
I don't know but I'm from FL and I'm going back next year for the Star Wars convention and to also go to Universal/Islands of Adventure so it'd be cool to have a meet up planned by then.

>>9025335
Lolitas from Belgium and The Netherlands go to each others meetings. Sometimes The Dutch or Belgian lolitas will go to Germany as well, but I'm not sure about any other European countries. I'd suggest looking up a local community on Facebook.

>>9025357
Is it an after party that's open to the community? Do you know the girls who are hosting it?

Does anyone know what the Brisbane com is like? I've been a lonelita for a year or so and am thinking of joining.

>>9025383
They're posting about it on the main comm page so I assume so? But they're going to a public place, so anyone could go. Seems like they're all gonna go home and change and then go to the after party location.
I could just go without saying anything but I'd rather it'd be something I was welcome to attend in different clothing apparently.

>>9025343
Central Florida Lolita Society is really large since it covers both Tampa and Orlando and everything in between. Since it covers such a densely populated area and has lots of members, it's hard to pin down a specific feel for the group. You'll just have to attend meets and find the girls you fit with best. Like any group, there are girls who are more welcoming and girls who are more standoffish. Fortunately, since Central Florida is a tourist area there are a lot of things to do, and you'll see more variety in meet up activities than some of the other comms in Florida.

>>9025430
Anon from FL who doesn't live there anymore - it's gotta be expensive as fuck to go to some meets, like I bet you guys go to disney and other theme parks a lot?

>>9025430
Oh man that sounds intimidating honestly, my comm is so much smaller. Thanks for the info though!

>>9025474
I'll be working at Disney so I hope they do want to go there since itll be one of the only things I can do for free lol

>>9025474
You can still have tea at "Disney World" since Disney World encompasses both the parks, hotels and everything else, and not pay for park entrance - which is what's really expensive. Also going to Disney in lolita is not a very good idea, you really have to plan for all the heat, humidity, and walking. Even in winter it can be 80 degrees.

>>9025514
I don't think it's any more intimidating than any other comm? If anything I'd say it's less so because of the size. I think a smaller comm with regulars could be more difficult to become part of.

>>9025419
If they're posting on the comm page then it's likely open to everyone. If you're nervous about going you should comment and introduce yourself! They'll probably welcome you, it would be less awkward than if you just showed up (since they might not know you are with the group). Also I would double check if people are going home to change, most after parties I've gone to people are still in lolita. I can see a potential problem if they don't know you are going, plus if you come to their party later in normal clothes.

Does ILD bring out all the newbies/rando's in other comms as well?

This summer ILD we're doing something kinda low-key and casual, but I remember for winter ILD we had an afternoon tea, and on the event page it just looked like so many random people in the comm who had never been to meets before or interacted on the page before were going to come and make their rori debut. (Which isn't a problem, but with limited tickets for a second it looked like it was gonna be a meet filled with just newbies) I just found it weird/interesting that all of them decided ILD would be their debut, though I guess it makes sense if it was the "official" lolita holiday or whatever. (That said, I have yet to see any of the random newbs who wanted to go come to any other meets this year so far.)

>>9025563
I'm one of those people that is attending the ILD meet of my comm as my first. I partly want to have an excuse to make the best coord I can, and see what my Comm's 'best' is. Not as a judgmental thing, but to get a feel for the people and to see where I stand.
Sometimes it's difficult to keep up with the smaller meets, even though it's a small comm. I picked a far off date that I knew would be an event day, and worked towards it.

>>9025360
Thanks, anon. I looked up my future local comm on FB but there's no group to join--just a page to like. But it looks like I can try to meet people elsewhere too so thanks!

How is the utah comm? Ill be visiting next month for a summer with my grams. I should have some spatre time to do my own thing since she's in a home. Id like at least one day to indulge in myself. Are utah lolitas ita? Friendly? Id rather meh coords and nice the god tier coords and bitches.

>>9025474
I used to live in Florida and be in this comm and they do plenty of meets that aren't at Disney or Universal Studios. When I lived there we did plenty of meets where we just went to the mall or the movies or a tea shop.

>>9025406
It's been quite this year. Most girls are just doing causal friend meets. Just head to the community page and say hello. Most girls are well dressed but OTT seem popular for meets, can be a bit of overkill.

>>9025519
>You can still have tea at "Disney World" since Disney World encompasses both the parks, hotels and everything else, and not pay for park entrance
haha, you mean citywalk?

>Also going to Disney in lolita is not a very good idea, you really have to plan for all the heat, humidity, and walking.
Oh yeah when I was growing up there I didn't know about lolita yet. I forgot about what the weather is like there. Where I live now it's cold most of the time.

>>9025534
I've made an intro post on the fb comm and I have a ticket to the event already purchased, so the mods are aware that I'll be there.

>>9025924
Homie I'm talking about the after party. Just because you purchased a ticket to an event doesn't mean that people know you will be coming to the after party. Also make double sure that people are actually changing into normal clothes for it before you go home and do so. It wouldn't go over well if you showed up at the place and everyone else (who didn't know you) was in lolita, you would just be like some normie bothering people at a public meet.

So I just moved back home for college and live near NYC. I am part of their Facebook page but I've heard that they never really have events (which I checked and they don't have any right now) planned and people just go out with friends. If this is true, is there anyway I can do things with them? Any info about the comm is helpful

>>9025563
For me it's because the ILD meet is one of the few that was posted to the comm page instead of being kept quiet and being invite-only. I get that my comm is trying to cut down on itas and randos at nicer meets but that makes it really difficult for newbies to get their foot in the door, so any bigger public meetup (that isn't pretty much a cosplay picnic organized by some weeb) is going to get a lot of newbie attention.

>>9024726
who was that? trying to think of who that would be in active members and I can't, I didn't even look at the drama at the time

>>9025406
The members are nice but it is a bit cliquey. I don't think having private meets with just close friends is a bad thing, cause why shouldn't you be able to hang out with close friends? But I think the comm is kind of dieing a bit from it.

That aside you should definitely join everyone is friendly!

>>9024726
pls elaborate

>>9025406
I'm a lonelita too, just lurking the Bris comm. ILD is coming up so we can hang!

I mostly only go to 'private' meets now. Felt bad and decided to go to a bigger public comm meet last month. Was full of people who couldn't dress themselves and had shitty attitudes about everything. Seems like I'll be sticking to private meets for a while then!

>>9026346
I did this for a while till the private meets turned into a bitch about the comm mods and how ita they are. I mean the comm mod is pretty ita despite having a closet full of angelic pretty. But I didn't come to a meet to do what you can do on cgl.

>>9026116
1. Grab a RuffleCon ticket or join one of the CT/NY comms. The whole CT/NY area is almost a big mega-comm where people go to each other's meets and then gather in Stamford for RuffleCon.

2. Look for events on the Baby/Tokyo Rebel blogs and go to them.

3. Do your own meetup! Make it something that costs money to weed out itas.

4. Join the secret /cgl/ comm by arranging a meetup in this thread.

>>9026360
Not the anon you're responding to.
Are the Lolitas there as annoying as the ones in Atlanta? If they are as catty as Atlanta I may regret taking the job offer in north haven.

>>9026354
I'm still inexperienced but trying to get my foot in the door into the comm is scary

>>9026379
I would say don't and save yourself from the drama. Yeah it sucks to be kinda alone but you also don't have to deal with the shit that comes up from a group of people gathering. Sit on the outside and watch while the rest become rabid beasts to eachother here and on behind the bows.

>>9024553
I'm a Dutch lolita and have been wanting to check out the comm for a while, but how do I do that when most meets are private?

>>9025335
When I visit other countries by myself, but feel like socializing, I sometimes join the facebook group of the local comm and post something like hey does anyone want to have lunch with me and maybe show me this town. Somtimes nobody replies and sometimes it ends up as a mini-meet with 5-10 people.

>>9026426
We do have larger public meets where you can get to know a lot of members. The Summer Tales Boutique meet is one of them, that is already this Sunday, but they are usually twice a year. The big summer meet up is now getting planned, which I recommend. I heard that there is sort of a meet after the fashion show on animecon. You just need to go to a big meet up, get to know people and then it gets a lot easier to get invited. Do make sure you add people on facebook. A lot of the private meets still have a large number of people who are invited so it's not that hard to get invited to them, they are just used to avoid problem cases.

>>9026426
Same situation here. I'm kicking myself for missing out on the tea party tickets... I didn't expect them to sell out that fast!
I think the best thing we can do is attend all public meetups we can and try to make a good impression so we might get invited to closed meetups in the future.
There's an ILD meet next Saturday, a park meetup the day after, a picnic in Utrecht in August and another meetup in September at a palace. Supposedly there is also a twin meetup in Utrecht this month but the link for that is broken.

>>9026426
There is a small amount of meet-ups that do get posted in the facebook group. Some of them are a bit hard to find because they are not all listed under events. I think about half of them are organized by an ita everyone wants to avoid. If you are able to make friends at these meet-ups, they will invite you to the secret comm meets.

>>9026443
>add people on facebook
Are people generally okay with this? I always get the impression that people think it's annoying to get friend requests from people they hardly know.

>>9026446
You can't get invited to private meets without having them on Facebook. Personally, I had a conversation with them at a meet I don't mind. I do mind when we haven't even gone to the same meet yet.

>>9026444
You might still have small chance if people cancel last minute. On the page it says there is currently a spot free, you might as well try.

>>9026307
>>9026296

After shitting her bloomers about the private tea party, Rosanna complained to the mods and tried to get private meets banned. She's the reason the mods made that longasss post telling people not to be so butthurt when people they don't know do things without them.

>>9026443
This makes the Dutch lolita comm sound elitist as fuck. Sure, all you have to do is go to one of the biggest meets of the year and make people like you enough to invite you to the next meet, no pressure. What if a newbie is somewhat ita but willing to improve, do they get invited or they have to try again at the next big event? And when you do invite them, how do you explain to them they can't invite x and x person?

>>9026466
It's not though, the people in the comm are super nice, the only thing they're trying to avoid is annoying itas and the girl that shits up the meets. Newbies do get duped by this but it's not that hard to make friends with a few of them.

>>9026468
Or you could just boot the girl who makes everyone else miserable so you wouldn't have to do this secret society shit.

>>9026435
That's a really good idea. I should be going to a few places when I first move, so I'll try this. Thank you!

>>9026466
It's really not that bad, anon. It's not as if we're cackling about any and all ita newbies behind their backs. The only girls who don't get invited are annoying weeby itas, as long as you don't behave like an idiot it'll be fine.

>>9026408
100% me lol

>>9026468
Sounds like there ought to be two comm's. One with all the super nice people and one with the annoying ita's and newbies who have yet to proof themselves.

So hopefully going to Bangor uni in September any Welsh lolitas about?

>>9026479
I stopped being active in my comm when people started filtering it because one of our members struck e-fame. Just sat there watching her and the rest of the comm destroy eachother on the Internet. Mean while I'm reaping the benifits of knowing I'm not involved at all.

>>9026480
Haha the biggest dramacow we had actually tried to make a "nice lolita" group after she quit our comm because we were too mean, elitist and racist for her. In reality people didn't like how she started random witch hunts accusing girls of bullying her friend, while the friend had send a lot of mean messages and may have posted a lot of secrets attacking people. Luckily no one wanted to be in her own special comm.

There are maybe only 5 problem. For the most part people had hoped the biggest problemperson would just find a new hobby, as she clearly isn't capable of comprehending what lolita even is.

>>9026476
It's more like were too nice as we don't dare to give feedback so we don't hurt anyone's feelings. In J's case especially, no one wants to be the bitch that tells the disabled girl off. And then we end up venting all our frustrations about her online.

When y'all are talking about an ita shitting up the meets, you mean the downie right? The mods should stop being chickens and remove her, what else are they mods for?

>>9026480
That sounds like a great way to scare off the newbies with potential, though. If I were just getting into lolita and the only comm open to newbies was the one with all the annoying ita rejects, I'd probably give up on joining any comm at all. I guess it's fine if you don't actually want new members.

>>9026476
Ok. I'm not trying to be part of the Dutch comm, just curious and I love comm drama. I'm sure a lot of the girls in my comm would love to have comm meets without ita's and weebs, but you gotta admit it sounds elitist.

>>9026499
I escpecially loved how she got upset when people were like wtf why are you adding me again after I left the group.

To the Dutch comm girls:
When you're talking about the 'notorious ita', you mean J right? She has a legit mental handicap. I don't think it would justifiable to have the mods ban her just because of her handicap. I mean has she ever really bothered someone though?

>>9026507
>downie
rude.

>>9026510
It doesn't look like two comms though. I joined about a year ago and it seemed like a normal comm to me, if with not a whole lot of meets or discussion going on.

>>9026526
She literally is one. She works at a place called downies and brownies

>>9026526
If she herself thought that was rude she wouldn't be working at a chain called "Brownies and Downies".

>>9026524
She's barely capable of functioning by herself and I'm pretty sure none of us are qualified (or willing) to act as her handler, so unless her handlers stop using us as a free caretaker service and start accompanying her to meetups she should not be coming to meetups at all. She has the intellectual capabilities of a small child. If a small child joined our community and showed up to meetups without parental supervision, that would be just as questionable as what is happening with J. Plus, she doesn't even wear lolita!

>>9026532
Still think it's rude to call her a downie on 4chan.

>>9026524
She is not a lolita. Before meet-ups she asks us what dress is allowed and she once tried to organize a kimono meet

>>9026524
>has she ever really bothered someone
she has sexually harassed people

What's the austin comm / metroplex comm like? Im moving to texas soon with my parents but thinking of going to university in austin.

>>9026538
Deets please

>>9026524
Everyone who has tried to include her and help her out was bombarded by messages and called up to 20 times a day. She clings unto people really badly and if a non-handicapped person would have done this they would have been removed long ago. She also asks girls sexual questions because apparently she's bisexual. I heard she threw a bad tantrum at a convention involving a lot of screaming.

You can pity her all you want and go help her out but there is a reason everyone gives up, she is incapable of improvement. She literally doesn't know what lolita is beside pretty clothing. The only reason she doesn't wear pants or princess dresses is because she got people to pick things out for her.

>>9026533
I agree with you on the caretaker part; a few years ago we had a severly autistic kid whose father would literally drop her off at meetings, telling us to take good care of her and telling us where he would pick her up again and not to leave her alone anywhere.

But my point is: it's a form of discrimination to remove her just because of her handicap, and to be honest.. Imagine her being your sister or someone else close to you? Would you like it if she got banned from a community just because of her handicap? She seems to be happy to play this kind of ~dress up~. And you don't have to be her best friend, right?

>>9026499
>>9026507
I think you should contact the mods, if you want J to be removed from the comm. It's not like they can ban her when no one contacts them.

>>9026548
If we would treat her like anyone else she would have been kicked out for her behavior, coddling her because she is different is also discriminating.

She should hang out with women her own mental age, we shouldn't have to be her sitter.

>>9026539
Both are pretty nice. I don't directly live in either city but I go to cons in both and I've always had good interactions with both of them. I think metroplex has more well dressed girls than ATX but they just got this big wave of newbies and their meets have been surprisingly quiet. Austin has a pretty large set of fluctuation but they've always been consistently the happiest of the Texas comms and their meets tend to be fun. They're also both very welcoming and their mods on both are helpful too.

>>9026466
It's actually because we are too nice that this has become a problem. No one wants to tell them to their face that their behavior has become a problem. We also have a few people that get overly offended whenever people don't like one another and would see the person complaining as the wrongdoer instead of the actual person with bad behavior. The way people dress has never been an issue since that is the first thing that improves. The way you act is more important, people that act nice are far more easily forgiven if they don't dress that well than a person that dresses well but is a nightmare to be around.

>>9026548
If she was a member of my family I would never dump her with a bunch of strangers. Especially knowing she makes people uncomfortable, which I'm sure the people around her do know. If she were my family and loved lolita I would come with her to a meet. But she doesn't even love lolita.
It's as if you guys feel too sorry for her to tell the truth, and it's fucking up the whole comm. You don't have to feel so sorry for her tough, she has a nice life and other activity's to do besides lolita.
I almost want to tell her myself, but I've never met her or talked with her, and I really think the mods should do this kind of stuff.

>>9026548
She can play dress up with people her own mental age, can't she? We do not need to be the one that take care of her when her caretaker takes a weekend off. And if I was her sister I wouldn't let her roam around like she does. She briefly dated the one person who was banned from the comm who insulted our members and was even in a mental institution.

And like someone else has pointed out, she clings onto people. You'll get called a stalkerish amount of times, she wants to hang out 24/7, she'll try to get you to buy things for because she can't read, and she'll probably ask you out romantically as well. And if you ignore her she lashes out.

>>9026563
>>9026565
It seems like you either are or know someone who have had negative experiences with her. Did you/they tell her that her behaviour (being clingy etc) was bothersome? Or have you ever told or showed a moderator what she did? Because they might not know she's also being bothersome and "sexual harassing people" from what I've read in other comments.

>>9026548
Honestly, if I had a mentally handicapped child I would find a place that emotionally accepts her and not expect people to just do it. She needs more than we can give her, we aren't qualified to handle her. She has been in the comm longer than I have, it's not like we immediately kick out a handicapped person. We have other girls too that have some form of disability and I haven't seen anyone treat them with disrespect. She is just so hard to deal with and it is not one meet a year. she seems to have the most free time out of all of us.

>>9026507
>>9026532
She doesn't have down syndrome, she is severely autistic.

>>9026572
As far as I can gather, this whole discussion started because one of the mods and some other girls posted coords in CoF from a secret comm meet. "Secret" to keep out the autistic ita. I'm sure the mods are aware.

>>9026578
I thought they meant the meeting in the province Zeeland? Wasn't that meeting held just for people who live there, because they live far away from other cities used for meetings?

>>9026558
This! This exactly one of the biggest problems in our community. It happend before with lolitas in our community (for example with L, the brolita and C). It's always a small group of individuals in the comm who cause the problems and everyone talks about it, but only a few people say something about it to the person in question. And I doubt anyone will contact the mods when there are problems with certain persons. Nevertheless many lolitas in this thread expect them to ban a person. Everyone who has a problem with J should contact the mods personally, at least when you want something to change.

>>9026116
You need to know someone in the NYC Comm to get invited for private meets. If you plan a public meetup, there will be a few bad apples with some staying away from others. There are lolitas you will need to avoid, but as in every Comm, not every lolita is your friend.

>>9026360
Yes on number 1. Definitely on number 3 by searching 'New York tea room'. Number 4 ehhh if you enjoy sprouting memes, talking about husbandos/yaoi, and discussing scholarly feminism.

>>9026378
NYC lolitas are not as annoying as ATL Lolitas. NYC lolitas are employed/in school and have busy lives working. They have zero time for drama and ignore it.

>>9026535
>rude on 4chan
As opposed to other places, huh?

>>9026584
Since one girl threatened to beat people up over a secret about the brolita I'm not surprised that people don't mention these things to their faces.If their behavior is bad, their friends behavior will be bad as well.

>>9026075
Sorry I'm trying to say they're posting about the after party in the same event as the ILD one and said public could attend.
That's cause it's at a bar tho.

>>9026578
Maybe they held the meet there because they just live closeby? Lolitas from Zeeland tried to organize meets in Zeeland before, but everyone complained about it being to far away.

>>9026548
If it was my mentally handicapped sister I wouldn't want her to be dumped with a bunch of strangers who obviously don't feel comfortable having her around. But since you feel so bad for her, why don't you be her friend?

>>9026466
They aren't talking about the way you dress but about how you act. Why would anyone invite you to their private meetup if you are super awkward and wierd. Life doesn't work that way.
I woudn't want to waste my free time with people like that, if I could also just invite nice people, even if I just met them at a bigger meetup.

>>9026614
You obviously didn't follow the discussion/aren't part of the comm if you think this is about private meet-ups

>>9026613
No one has to be her friend. Just say hi/bye. No one in any kind of community is friends with everyone.

>>9026466
That's a 'normal' way how groups work. If you have no intelligence whatsoever, if you are not a nice person to be with, it is only naturally to not get invited. If you are nice, talk to people, introduce yourself if you are new, and are open for growth if you're still starting out then there is really nothing to worry about. But there are just people in the comm that are really annoying, don't get the fashion at all even after years, and some are just in general not liked because they're not nice or easy to be with (for whatever reason, but usually because they lack intelligence or have a social disorder of some kind and don't know how to handle themselves). And then next to that there are also local/smaller meets where people invite others that live closeby because it's easier to have a meet like that, you shouldn't feel left out if you're not invited.
The fact though that people ask for an explanation, makes me think that it doesn't come from natural social understanding, which makes the person asking already a bit of an awkward person. I don't mind a bit of confusion, but we're still living in the real world, events from closed communities are actually as much real as the rest of your social life.

>>9026619
ok. also I wasn't talking about the private meetups more about why someone would invite you or not.

>>9026443
>A lot of the private meets still have a large number of people
>>9026426
> but how do I do that when most meets are private?
>>9024842
>When everyone talks about it in secret and plans secrets meet-ups

>>9026642
I'm not the anon who you're replying to but I'm in the Dutch comm too. This is not just one person complaining about not being invited to private meet-ups. This is about our comm being divided and unwelcoming to new lolita's because of one person, you know exactly who I mean. Newbies know that there are meet-ups several times a month, they see Dutch girls post coords from "comm meets" in closet of frills (this didn't just happen once either, that's why they can't agree which meet this is about). It's only natural that they start questioning why this is being kept from the group page. But other than on cgl, nobody wants to explain anything to them. I've met lolita's at events who I never see at meet-ups, and you know what they said when I ask why they aren't part of the comm? They said that they joined the facebook group but that it's kind of dead and full of ita's. Sure you don't have to cater to them, but you can hardly call it the Dutch lolita COMMUNITY anymore.

>>9026548
If it was my sister I wouldn't drop her on a train to a bunch of strangers. And I don't care she likes to play dressup, she can play dressup with people with the same disability and mental age and not hang around us.

>>9026595
I'm in your comm. The party is open to anyone since the event sold out so you're totally welcome to attend. If it was private it wouldn't have been posted in the community. If you're worried you should just ask people at the event if they're going to it and then head over there with them. No one really changes out of lolita for after parties, especially since it will sort of be an ILD event for those that didn't make it to the earlier party.

>>9026654
>They said that they joined the facebook group but that it's kind of dead and full of ita's.

So they're excluding people based on what they wear despite being new to the comm? Tell me, why should I want to hang out with these girls?

And I'm very active in the comm yet I don't see that many private meets that aren't a birthday meet, small and private on purpose because of the location. Sometimes you want a small meet up because not all meets work as a large meet. If you and four of your friends want to have a high tea than ending up with 16 people, half you don't know is inconvenient as hell (we've had a few new members skip out on the check for example). A lot of meets are public but not shared on the comm page as well, probably so that friends who aren't in the comm can go as well.

And you're exaggerating the issue. We've had plenty of meets this year that weren't private with decent turn out, like the Rijksmuseum, swapmeet or the Cherry blossom picknick.

And most of the active lolita's are active on the comm page. There just is an finite amount to discuss on there. Currently there quite a few meets planned that are open for everyone, STB, Japanese Garden, Harry Potter, Paleis 't Loo, Twin meeting and the summerpicknick.

>>9026584
>only a few people say something about it to the person in question.
Well fucking duh. How do you think that will go down? I hardly think she's gonna respond well, considering what >>9026565 and >>9026547 mention about tantrums/lashing out.
We're all waiting for the mods to do it because it's gonna be a painful conversation and no one does that for fun. I tried one time, hoping to fix some shit that had gone down.That is when I learned the hard way that confronting a person about their bad behaviour can turn really fucking sour really quick. I am not burning my hands on any of that again. I'll stick to meeting with my friends instead, tyvm.

>>9026582
>>9026597
It wasn't exactly a secret meet up anyway, it was posted in the Rotterdam area group. A group everyone can join too but as the name suggests meet ups are held in that area and occasionally Zealand cause that's close by. People always complain when meets aren't in Utrecht so some decided fuck it and went on their merry way hosting meet ups in that part of the country.

>>9026632

lol. That is what they're doing. The girls go to public meetups and say hi/bye without being friends with everyone.

Then they go home and hang out with people they actually are friends with. Afterwards, they post coords pics and other girls accuse them of holding secret meetups. Congrats, you just figured out how this situation came to be.

>>9026692
I wasn't talking about the ~secret~ meetings, but about the J situation. Keep up!

>>9026667
So are you fine with how the dutch comm is? No issue having to plan comm meets in secret?

>>9026667
They are not excluding people. They joined the comm, probably saw J's failed meet-up attempts and decided not to be part of the comm.

>>9026667
>So they're excluding people based on what they wear despite being new to the comm?
Reading comprehension pls. They join the comm, see mostly posts from the cringey people that anons ITT are having invite-only meetups to avoid, think that the Dutch comm consists mostly of these cringey people and is otherwise dead, and give up. Pretty much what >>9026510 suggested. Are you seriously going to snub newbies for not wanting to hang out with this downsey girl when that is exactly what the regulars are also doing?

>>9026632

J will sadly find someone to cling to or seek people out who are actually rather sick of her. If she goes to a High Tea meet you can get stuck with her at a table. It seems that people immediately plan who they are going sit with in order to get a table full so that they aren't stuck with her for a couple of hours. Which means newbies get stuck with her. You also can't just say hi/bye at a small meet and she really seems to go out of her way to attend all of them. You can't avoid her very easily.

>>9026667
I don't mind the invite only meets, because I really enjoy avoiding people I don't like, but I do have to say that both the twin meet and the HP meet are invite only.

>>9026539
The Austin comm is very friendly and super chill. Most meets are pretty low key. There's also a Japanese Street Fashion club at UT, but anyone is welcome to attend their meets.

>>9026794
I personally didn't see the twin meet anywhere, but I did see that the the HP meeting was posted in the group, and everyone was allowed to join.

>>9026783
Has anyone ever told the moderators? Now all they hear and see are anonymous gossips.

>>9025907
City Walk is Universal. They probably mean Disney Springs or whatever it's called now.

>>9026817
The moderators go to invite-only meets as well and someone mentioned it in the survey the mods posted it the group.

Anyway I just hate how some girls are in denial about the problems in the Dutch comm. It's not even clear in our comm what a private meet is, a comm meet, and an invite-only comm meet. Seriously, what kind of community has invite-only comm meets?

>>9026794
To be fair I went and asked the girl who's hosting the twin meet and she said she just messed up when creating the page as she'd never made an event page before. She meant to invite the whole comm but noticed too late that she messed up.

>>9026595
>what is reading comprehension

>>9026825
The twin and HP meet aren't invite only, they just aren't created on the comm page, so not everyone is invited but they can see it as it is shared in the comm page, this is so that people can invite friends not in the comm. Other 'invite only' are public meets but everyone is free to invite whoever. If you have someone in the comm as a mutual friends you can see it pass by on Facebook when they join it as well.

There only a few invite only, where only the organizer can invite people. Those are mostly birthday meets.

>>9026584
Wait what did L ever do?

>>9026815
Twin meeting is on the comm page as well. It was posted back in April so you need to scroll down pretty far.

>>9026699

Yes, and girls are accusing other girls of having secret meetings because the other girls are trying to avoid J.

>>9026835
To be fair, new lolita's shouldn't have to be friends with other lolita's just so they can find out what other meets are out there. When I first joined I also asked when there are meet ups because there are not many on the group page and a few are actually organized by the person everyone is trying to avoid. Anyway the answer I received was that I can find all the meet-ups under events and in the loligenda. Yeah right.

>>9026783
>literally conspiring to avoid her at open meets and making invite-only meets purely to exclude her
But you can't simply remove her from the group, that would be MEAN!
For fucks sake if she's really as autistic as you people say she is then she'll get over it pretty quickly as soon as someone dangles something new in her face. Don't let your own cowardice over potentially offending a mentally retarded girl ruin your entire community dynamic. What is she going to do, show up at a mod's house with a knife?
Not even a member of this comm but this is pathetic to watch.

>>9025430
I want to be in Central Florida Lolita society, but I haven't got anything from Mods for months now. Is it something I did?

If an event isn't created in the facebook group, not every member will get invited. Not everyone knows this. However the people who created the HP meet and also who created the Musical meet, DID post their meet in the group, so anyone could have joined.

>>9026794
>>9026815
>>9026835
>>9026840
Both HP and Twin meets show up as 'page not available' for me, and in the comments the organizers say that anyone wanting to join should send them a friend request so they can send out an invite. So unless something else happened off the main comm page (which I scrolled through almost back to early 2015), these two meetups technically are invite-only.

>>9026860
It's solely because it wasn't made in the facebook group. Not because they want to shun noobs or anything.

>>9026865
Yeah, I'm just being pedantic. But you have to admit that if a newbie without friends in the comm (yet) is wondering what meetups are happening in june or july, they're almost definitely going to miss out on these. They're neither under the event tab or in the loligenda. Who thinks to scroll down that far just in case someone way back in march was planning something for july that they forgot to make a proper comm event?

I think this comm would improve a lot if we nudged out J (mean as it may seem, she's making everyone else uncomfortable and doesn't even wear the fashion) and made community meetups more transparent. I personally have no problem with private meetups as long as people are honest about it and don't pretend that their meetup was totally open to everyone when in reality it was only shared among a few people. Put community meetups under the event tab, keep private meets private, everyone happy. Right?

>>9026847
She's been in the comm for over two years, I think her first meet was in 2013. And keep in mind that some of the people avoiding her have been in the situation where she follows them around, calls them 20 times a day and throws tantrum when she doesn't get enough attention.

>>9026847
The problem is that no one really has authority over whether or not she is allowed to show up unless they themselves are organizing the meet. That is why it is done in private, any meet organised on the comm page is for everyone on the comm page, including her. So walking up to her and telling her that she should find something else could also be social suicide considering some people would react really negatively on people telling a mentally challenged girl that we don't want her around anymore. You can't speak for everyone in the comm.

>>9026952
There are people with authority. They are called moderators. Obviously the majority of the comm wants her to be removed or for her to bring somebody with her to meets to take care of her, but it would be weird if a random lolita would tell her that/contact people from her facebook. A mod should do that.

>>9027144
What if we all send a PM to the mods, then they can't ignore the situation?

>>9026658
What's the changing of the wardrobe thing then?
Or is that code for "its hotter out than usual"?

>>9026831
About what part mate?
I'm probably confused because I don't know anyone in the comm, I'm brand spanking new.

>>9026819
Sorry, I haven't lived in Florida in like 7 years.

>>9026847
>What is she going to do, show up at a mod's house with a knife?
You know people do things like that, right?
It's not exactly far fetched.

>>9027156
>>9027154
She's referencing the fact that we're changing from winter/spring wardrobe to summer wardrobe since it's summer ILD. The photoshoot will be purely for you to get nice photos of your coord, it's not a big ordeal. The afterparty is for anyone but just tell someone you're going/want to go. Don't change out of lolita, people don't change for afterparties.

I'm amazed at how dense you are, honestly. Being new to a comm doesn't mean inability to comprehend basic conversation on facebook or reply to two posts on 4chan at once.

>>9027152
I think people talked about it in the survey. You can fill it in too. But I honestly don't think the mods are unaware, they are just good at ignoring it.

>>9027154
there are 2 ILD's. one is summer outfits to winter outfits, the other is reversed. also, youre putting A LOT of info about yourself here, so its easy to pick out who you are. careful careful gull.

>>9027207
is either "Sonja VonBischel" but most likely "Lecherous Cats"

>>9027207
most likely "Lecherous Cats"

>>9027234
good work detective!

>>9027207
I didn't see there was a second one?

>>9027198
I forgot you guys can't handle casual conversation mode.

>>9027239
International Lolita Day is a biannual event, held on the first Saturday of June, and the first Saturday of December. LEARN TO USE GOOGLE.

>>9027244
cgl isn't the place for causal conversation you dolt. in fact casual conversation is called shitposting.

>>9027249
What do you think I've been doing here since 2008?

>>9027247
So on the comm page there is also a meet for the Seattle ILD which is why I thought you were talking about a second event, not the day itself.

>>9027259
Shitposting.

>>9027265
Man, it's like you guys can figure anything out!!

>>9027265
i wish i knew which com member you were so we could sit together and shit-talk/side-glare at this bitch together.

>>9027277
I'm seriously unsure of what I did wrong aside from giving out too much info?

>>9027276
It must suck to already have ruined your rep without even being a part of the comm

>>9027289
You are an annoying shitposter who clearly needs to lurk more. Good job fucking up your rep before even joining.

>>9027290
I haven't said anything shitty to anyone? I haven't mentioned anyone other than myself.
What exactly did I do aside from giving too much info about myself (not anyone other than me) and asking questions that I didn't want to ask in the group page?

>>9027295
Stop saying rep, you sound like a rapper.

>>9027297
You're clearly too autistic to figure out what you did wrong. Please fuck off.

>shitposting
>not lurking for basic info
>expecting to be spoonfed
>being all around b8

this is all shit you did.

>>9027302
Let's get real here for a minute, you know what autism actually is, right?

>>9027310
Yes, and you have it. A glaring sign is your lack of capability to understand social norms and what you did wrong.

>>9027315
>social norms
>image board
Okay.

Also where I live people don't sling that as an insult ever. No one I know outside of 4chan would use autism as an insult.
And please stop trying to get around it by insisting you can tell I'm on the spectrum from what I'm typing. Holy hell, armchair.

>>9027320
You are so new it hurts.

>>9027323
I'm fully aware of that "autist" is 4chan's favorite new insult, so no.
I've been posting on this site since 2008 and I've been on /cgl/ since 2010.
Not exactly "new" just "new" to lolita.

>>9027326
Do you still plan on showing up at the after party?

>>9027326
If that was true and you have been on cgl for that long none of the questions you are asking would have been asked. You would know to fucking LURK MORE.

>>9027330
I hope not, I don't want to babysit a retard.

>>9027334
>Is it weird that at my first upcoming meet I'm gonna be doing a photoshoot?
>And what is the likelyhood of being able to go to the ILD after party if I'm a brand new member?

So which of these questions should I lurk more for exactly?
The one where I would get told opinions on first time going to a meet with a photoshoot?
Or the one where I'm a newbie so I'm interested in going to an afterparty and would like opinions?

Do you guys just lack opinions?
Do you need google in order to come up with smart ass responses?
Do you on regurgitate memes you learned on this board?

>>9027343
Woah now, your sodium levels are dangerously high. The cure for that is simply lurking more.

>>9027344
So it's number three then? You just spew redundant memes?

I'll be at Colossalcon next weekend having sex with my husbando. How's the Ohio Comm?

>>9027336
>>>9027326
kek

>>9027346
You are embarrassing yourself and are going to get so much shit flung your way if you show your face in the com. Congrats, you fucked up hard.

>>9027349

>>9027350
Are you threatening me?

>>9027353
No, I'm stating the obvious of what is going to happen. You're already a fucking lolcow on day one. What do you think is going to happen when you come and see us in person?

>>9027356
its true.

>>9027353
Oh boy here it comes

>>9027356
and to think that ticket could have gone to someone else.

>>9027361
Honestly boils my blood thinking girls who deserved it could have gotten it and instead it goes to this retarded sow.

>>9027353
Not even in their comm and I am already getting bad vibes off you.
Stay out of that comm, I'm sure they won't want you, autist-chan

>>9027362
>>9027361
If either of you are a mod, you can ask me not to come or ask me to leave and give my ticket to someone else. But you have to be a mod.

>>9027370
If you go you are seriously going to get so much shit. I honestly hope you do to see the look on your face when you realize nobody fucking wants you in our com.

>>9027370
please don't come. for our sake and yours.

>>9027373
>>9027371
Well now it sounds intriguing.

>>9026548
Look m8, i have a little sister,who is a "downie". She is 14 but has the mental age of a 6yo child. She loves lolita and i let her put on my shoes or a bow or touch my frills or whatever sometimes because she fucking loves it. But I would never bring her to a meet. Because i would have to look after her all the time and not really enjoy it myself, but worse,it would probably make everyone pretty uncomfortable to have some girl sometimes screaming unintelligible words,touching their hair,wigs,brand,..and things like that.

>>9027371
>>>9027373
which BL dress do you think she'll wear?

>>9027374
Feel free to show up.

>>9027374
>now
>you already planned on showing up


>>9027378
Probably the clock one kek.

>>9027380
What is that thing

>>9027382
totally

>>9027380
That's not lolita...

>>9027380
Clusterfuck kei

>>9027380
kek

>>9027380
oh honey, no

>>9027380
Kek is this really her?
Tumblr kei in all its beauty

>>9027402
autistic shitposting tumblr antler kei*

>>9027404
Man, for someone who is upset about shitposting, you sure are doing it a lot yourself. This thread isn't even on topic anymore.

>>9027408
Do you really think you're talking to the same person?

>>9027410
No, but poster count isn't going up all that much. Like here and there.

Also I've used that exact question on HWC.

>>9027414
>poster count isn't going up
>there are 61 posters in the thread and a discussion going on

I wonder why?

>>9027415
yeah, that means I'm talking to whoever is posting in this thread....

>>9027414
If you had a line used on you that was used on HWC I think you need to reevaluate your posting method.