/cgl/ - Cosplay & EGL

>Trying to find a present for my best friend's birthday
>Last two years I got her pretty rare wishlist items
>This year I've lost three auctions, missed out on another
>Fucking stressed
>I know she wouldn't want me to be stressed
>At least I got her some Antique Beast

Summary of I posted last time:
>Took a 85lb running kid directly to the knee.
>Was afraid to hear the result of my hospital visit because I have only a month to heal before my bffs wedding.
>toughed it out for a while, three weeks, because couldn't drive self to doctor.
>worried about weight gain because brand and brides maid dresses I planned to wear while in Oregon where my bff lives.
>Not to mention cute heels for both reasons.
Update:
>Sprained Knee, possible tear of the Lateral Meniscus.
>Prescribed: Cane (cheap mfs, why not crutches?), Pain pills, elevation, ice, not working, and physical therapy...
They didn't even do an MRI to see if there's something torn and already they want me to do physical therapy. Quacks, I'm going to another doctor.
>Duration: Could take MONTHS to heal from the paperwork pamphlet they gave me.
Whelp... there goes PMX and Wasteland weekend.

I pray I'll be in heels by October 10th or my maid of honor dress will be too long. I already have plans to make the cane into an 'umbrella' for her wedding photos.

>>8585705
You can get back into the rhythm Op, keep motivating with your favorite main pieces. Tell yourself you wont let them die in your closet.

>go to bed at 1 am because I'm trying to get a good sleep schedule
>friend is up watching anime meanwhile, told her to message me about it so i can read it when i wake up
>can't sleep
>check her message
>hmm, I wonder if closet child updated?
>it did
>hot damn
>impulse buys like no tomorrow

now I'm out money AND sleep
>feel guilty but also happy

>lose like 50 lbs over the course of a year
>spend three months constantly working on a cosplay
>put it on three days before the con
>still_a_huge_landwhale.png

i tried so hard and got so far but in the end it doesnt even matter

>>8585837
Keep going Anon! Both with losing weight and with working with cosplays! People will always see the effort you've put in a cosplay, and your body is starting to match that if you keep up the same effort!

>>8585731
From all the reading you appear to have done, you realise an MRI is going to make no difference to your initial treatment right? Even if it is torn physical therapy, rest, ice, etc. is still going to be prescribed and is your best chance at a normal working knee. Surgery for that shit is no joke, all they can do is remove the fucking cartilage and then boom you're all set up for a knee replacement in ten to twenty years or so rather than forty.

>>8585855
thank you anon

>>8585749
>trying to get a good sleep schedule
>1am
get some self control

>took around 20 photos of full outfit
>hated my face in every single one
>took around another 20 trying to pose my whole body and face better
>hated all of those too
>liked no photos and hit a new low about my face
>my face looks fine when I look in the mirror, so why does it look so fug in photos
>I never want my face in photos again

>>8585910
>in bed at 1am
>8 hours of sleep
>up at 9am, a perfectly respectable time to be up
Sorry not everyone gets up at the crack of dawn like you?

>>8585921
Try flipping your photos?

>>8585943
>9am, a perfectly respectable time to be up
no it isn't unless you are underage and got no school

>>8585951
From the way you write it seems like you're the one who needs more school.

Anyway a lot of real live adults work strange hours, work from home, or do not work due to life circumstances. It seems strange that you wouldn't consider that, unless you're underage yourself, or very naive.

>see pic of someone in what they say is their dream dress, looks nice
>decently popular dress
>tfw i own it and could never do justice to it because what i need to buy for it wouldn't suit the rest of my wardrobe

feels bad, but at the same time i really like the print. damn

>>8585951
When I was a full time student while working part time I didn't have to get up until around 11am. I had all afternoon classes and only worked at night, so had no need to get up before even 9am.

>>8585708
you're a good person, anon. if you don't find anything, get creative and make something unique for her yourself.

>bought dress with Halloween print
>doing collage of a nice Halloween coord
>no plans for halloween mfw

>>8585708
I have filler presents like stationary, purses, bento boxes etc from aliexpress tucked away for birthdays and christmas to bulk out presents. Maybe that might help anon?

>>8585951
I work full time and I'm not up til 11am because I I work afternoons and evenings. Not everyone works 9-5 especially those in public services, retail, call centres etc.

>con in the city I went to college
>haven't been there for ages, really miss it for nostalgia reasons
>loads of my friends are going to, also good for my first party con as I know the area
>not going to be able to afford to register, might miss out on tickets
>technically have the money, but it has to go on medical bills
>damn it

> Remote location - chan here
> Much brands
> Zero chance of wearing them
> Growing older
> Just keep buying & buying
> I'm hating my life right now

Not sure which is worse, being poor with no lolita outfits & living close to the city with an active comm? Or living remotely with no comm/lolita friends but all the money in the world to buy brands frequently and not getting to wear them out?

> Did weight loss calculations and thought I'd be at 140 by now
> Stuck at 160 because of injuries
> Legs look skinny but I still have a huge gut
> Feel really weird having twig legs and an old man gut

>>8586384
Can't you wear it anyway? I'm a remote lolita too, if I only wore it when I was with other lolis I'd never get to wear it out either.

>>8585921
That's because photos are flat, real life is not. The way you look in the mirror, all bias and ego protection aside, is what you really look like.

>>8586448
oh pls b true ;_;
you also have to factor in
>depth of field
>image flipping
>angle
>the fact that you have 2 eyes whereas the camera has only one

>>8585921
Maybe you are unphotogenic. Do you have harsh features? Those can also be hard to photograph right and look flattering.

>>8586455
this, especially noses

my own nose is nothing too bad irl but in photos I put Shlomo Shekelberg to shame

I was doing a closet clean for really old clothes to send to Goodwill and came across this ANCIENT Surface Spell dress. It must have been my first "real" lolita item. I was obsessed with it when I was 15 and when I finally got it, I was only brave enough to wear it out once. It was too long on me and I learned the hard way classic looks crap on me, but I got nostalgic just thinking about how much I WANTED it.

God, I can't even find a stock picture for it it's that old, but Surface Spell must have ripped off a big name brand.

>>8585705
OP, you have some interesting questions to ask right now:

>do you want to have this part of your passion make you feel this way?

>do you want this feeling to downplay the goals you've already achieved?

and most importantly:
>do you want this feeling to pile on top of the part of you that's already coping with being stressed out?

>>8585921
I know this feel.
I have kind of deep-set eyes, which I think is my main problem; it creates a pocket of shadow under my eyebrows and accentuates my the dark bags I have under my eyes already.
Also, I can never seem to smile nicely in photos.

>Guy
>Exercise regularly so I can get some muscularity for the sake of nailing my cosplay
>Get relatively toned, avoid eating fatty garbage and junk food around a month before the con, to make sure I get maximum aesthetic before things kick off con after con, year after year
>My (notably fat, neckbearded) best friend comes with me to almost every con I can go to, and while I adore the guy, he always seizes up and gets silent whenever I'm talking to girls
>Regularly talk to the girls and introduce them to him
>They never, ever talk to him again
>He never talks to any of them because he's worried about rejection, even on a platonic level
>This has carried on for about three years now, and I feel worse each time it happens

>Fast-forward to Anime California
>I catch HIM talking to like, three girls about LoL (I think it's shit, but if it gets him social, I've got nothing against it) and how he always runs midlane and Teemo this and Mord that and yadda yadda, I overheard that noisy faggot from down the hall
>Try walking away because I felt excited knowing he pretty much got where I wanted him to, even if it was just on a friendly level
>"Anon! Heeey!"
>Freeze up and come on over to him
>One of the girls, who wasn't in cosplay, asks him who I was, and he said I was his best friend
>The girls ask if I play League
>I say "Nah, but he plays it a ton. I'm sure he can give you all sorts of tips and stories and stuff." and try to peace the fuck out, but they won't let me
>Girls immediately try asking me to join them, if I want to try it with a team, conversation turns BACK TO ME
>Trying so goddamn hard to leave the convo, but they keep trying to pull me in
>I grab my phone and pretend I had a call and walk off acting like it was some other person
>The girls left my friend saying that they would message him or friend him
>Sense of dread that those girls are just expecting me to join and my friend may get left behind again

Why do I try?

>>8586499
a question:
do you want to be happy for your friend?
or do you want to him to be socially where you want him to be?

you can feel both, but this current feel is the result, so... :/

>Always ate healthy; 1'65 m, 52 kg, good
>2 years ago finally have the nuts to go into lolita
>Buyed some simple dresses
>S size, fits perfect, but pretty thight on the boobs
>suddenly dream dress appears
>omg
>but it will not fit my bust properly
>hear when you loss weight, boobs slim down first
>why not, only a few light diet and exercise
>Then mission acomplised
>dream dress arrived and first perfectly
>I did it, I have the control of my body, I have power on it.
>Feeling SUPER great
>Starting new diet, lost weight, lost more, feels good as fuck, all dreses fits me perfectly.
>I reach my weight goal
>But I know I can lost more, I know I can do it
>I will be prettier on my dresses, I'm becoming a dolly, pale and slim

40kg and I cannot stop

>>8586499
maybe try getting him to join you when exercising? He might get more confident in his looks and you'll also have a training buddy

You could both try to cosplay something from league so that it interests him

>>8586561
Anon that's not a good level to be at, You should make sure you're not heading into ED territory

>>8586561
it seems like so many girls in lolita/cosplay have eating disorders... stay safe anon.

>>8586561
Smaller isn't always better, anon. You'll hit a point where your dream dress is too loose on you.

>my life is falling apart and I feel like shit
>really strong desire to self harm
>kind of want to sell all of my lolita because what's the point
>strongly considering suicide

Everyone thinks I'm so competent and well adjusted and I don't feel like I can ask for help without disappointing them. Even my therapist expresses disbelief when I talk about feeling bad.

> organize a cosplay group
> try to make sure we don't repeat characters that much
> can't go to con, pass on the organization to someone else
> "no, everyone can come as they want."
> everyone wants to do characters from the most recently animated part

fuck everything.

>>8586562
you can't just force someone to be something you want, that kind of stuff builds resentment in friendships

>>8586584
>I don't feel like I can ask for help without disappointing them

people who care about you will not be disappointed, love is 100% like that

also, how are you doing today?

> bf comes home from a con
> he says "I must really love you, there were so many hot chicks there, anon"
> feels somehow bad man

>>8586586
To be perfectly honest I do kind of agree with him, if it continues like this his friend might resent him for the situation they have now while feeling guilty for that resentment.

If it were me I would ask if he's ever been interested in lifting: say it's pretty fun and you get strong and all that. He sounds like he has confidence issues for sure, so it'll be easier if a close friend approaches him to do it instead of him doing the approaching. At this point he probably wants to improve but doesn't know how/is anxious or worried for whatever reason, an invitation may or may not work but it gives him a good opportunity.

Source: Experience.

>worried about bf
>recently long distance, 18 months in all in all
>both in 20s, both want good jobs and to move out from parents' house
>he spends every weekend gaming with his friends
>visit, meet them all for the first time
>they are good people, but all approaching 30, only one not still living with parents, none with partners, only one with full-time job
>w/e don't care, their lives
>the longer bf is with them, the less he cares about moving out and getting a non-retail job
>again, wouldn't really care but we can only be together properly if he moves out, I can't afford it alone
>worried the more he spends time with them, the less important any kind of life outside their gaming will be
>not sure if I even have any right to be worried, or if I'm just being possessive/manipulative

>>8586409
I cannot. The temperature is 40 degrees with red dirt dessert which sticks to clothing. No dry cleaners here either & I don't trust my laundry skills for specialist items. I dream of going it alone like Kamikaze Girls but...the climate doesn't allow it.

>>8586588
>>8586588
Then they won't trust me to be alright though, and that's a really distressing thought. Also my mom is mentally ill and has done some really messed up stuff and I don't want people mentally comparing me to her.

>tfw I've attempted suicide four times since age 12 and no one knows, not even my dad, despite me being really really ill after

I'm ok, anon, thanks for asking. I'm not great but I'm okay.

>>8586592
that's kind of douchey for him to say.... is he insulting you because it sounds like he doesn't find you attractive........................... correct me if I'm wrong but that basically translates as 'there were loads of hot girls that I wanted to sleep with, but I didn't, count yourself lucky because I love you.'

>>8586603
It felt like that, we've been going through some rough patches and I already feel unattractive and shitty. I didn't say anything about it because I thought I might be overreacting, I just said "or you might have been really stupid". But he was at a con (non-anime) where I know he would be getting a lot of attention from girls in great shape that are exactly his type. And here I am, dumpy, unhappy and shitty.

This might sound corny but I actually teared up a little when Carly posted this on tumblr.
As a lesbian lolita who grew up in a very christian family, the fact that we have people in the community who can do stuff like this really moved me.

So a friend of mine has always said they've been through rough shit, direct and indirect and god knows how many awful people in their lives.

I'm kind of at a point where I'm honestly wondering if it's all true or not. I mean it seems like every person they mean is actually a horrible manipulative person and for some time now they've been mentioning the same about a few mutual friends which honestly makes me wonder what's true and what isn't.

Am I overreacting? I only know them from college so I've never been at their home so I can't even be sure if all the things they've told me are true.

>>8586596
Yup, it's all approach and intent

That space between "having expectation for your friends" and "trying new things with friends" is be navigated with no stress by how willing someone is to be upset when social personalities don't align

>>8585705
stay strong anon, weight fluctuates. it happens. just try to count your calories

>>8586610
honestly it sounds like he was being a douche. He was guilt tripping you over the fact that he didn't cheat and it seems like it has worked. He shouldn't get a prize for not cheating on you, and you shouldn't feel bad for him not cheating on you either. The more I look at this the more your boyfriend seems like an asshole.
I don't want to be like every other anon on the board and say DUMP HIM, but really.... I'd reconsider being his partner.

>>8586617
....carly's straight? damn, guess I can't ship her and acchirin anymore.

>>8586617
aw damn, she's so sweet. Tbh she's so down to earth, and that's the sort of thing I'd probably do if we had stuff like that where I am (aw she's even more my idol now) honestly what a sweetheart

>inb4 Jillian makes a post on fb saying "WELL NOW ALL THE GAYS LOVE HER THIS JUST ISn'T FAIR WHY AM I NOT A GAY IDOL"

>>8586633
>SHE MUST BE STOPPED

>>8586624
Yeah she has a boyfriend :( I have a crush on her tbh...

>>8586617
r/thathappened

>>8586633
if only all religious people were like this jfc

>>8586618
Approach with caution.
Some people really do live shitty lives, some people lie, and some people are a mix between the two.
Keep a level head on your shoulders and sleuth out what you do or don't want to believe in,maybe ask those other mutuals how they get on with her without letting it slip that she's said anything.

I agree with >>8586603, in other words "I wish you were someone else".

Happened to me with an ex,
>be 18
>strolling down the mall holding hands with then bf
>he suddenly stops to stare at a girl
>shes skinny, pretty, wearing mostly black with a band tshirt.
>he sighs and states "I wish I had a girlfriend like that"
>shocked, cant believe my ears
>continue strolling like nothing happened
>to this day cant believe his words
>months later breakup
>ffw 6 years
>get surgery, lose weight
>now dating a guy hotter than him that loves me the way I am including my lolita obsession
>sometimes check his fb to feel better about myself because hes dating a fugly chick.
You deserve better Anon

I've been depressed lately. I don't feel like working on cosplay anymore and every time I eat I feel sick afterward. It's been making my boyfriend sad too, I feel so guilty for making him sad. I've been trying look happy outwardly but it just makes me feel worse somehow.

>tfw was invited out tonight but then bf stopped responding before he said where
>this isn't like him so there's probably no signal where he is
>have sent a million messages that haven't been seen
>no idea where he is so nothing more that can be done
>should just get on with enjoying my night, but moping
>wasting the last of my weekend moping
Fml

>>8586610
Tell him how it made you feel, anon. Don't let it stew or you might have a huge argument over nothing.
If he apologises genuinely, then maybe he just made a cunty statment without thinking. We've all done it.
If he doesn't apologise and tries to make it feel like you're at fault for being upset, then you've got a genuine sociopath brewing there.

I started walking more and eating better. Got some workout DVDs, weights, etc, since I can't afford a gym membership. I was feeling really good! Lost a few pounds, am no where near my goal weight, but hey, Rome wasn't built in a day.

But all my progress has been ruined. I'm so fucking stressed about my brother's wedding because of his future mother-in-law. She's a huge controlling bitch. I could talk for hours about all the shit she's been pulling. But I've gained back the weight plus some, not to mention my hair is falling out in clumps, my acne is back for the first time since middle school, and my period's have gotten heavier and more painful. I'm giving up my favorite con because I feel so disgusting and look like crap in my cosplays now. I don't even want to wear jfash anymore. It's gotten worse the closer to the wedding it gets.

I'm hoping I'll feel better when it's over...but I'm not holding out any hope.

>>8586617
awww, that's so sweet.

>>8586664
I told him and he got angry at me because he was giving me a compliment

>>8586678
D U M P H I M
U
M
P

H
I
M

>>8586680
for real, girl. there are so many better guys out there

>>8586600
that's good to hear, okay is a good space to be. you don't have to be great today, no one said so :)

i'm sorry to hear about a younger you having to cope with mental illness, hits home for me.

know that ultimately you get to choose how you want to shape your life, regardless of the opinions of others. in a lot of ways, suicide is one of those routes because you get to choose how you "live" your life, but it's the meanest, most hurtful one towards the person who needs the most care and acceptance

think about it this way: there's a part of everyone who's dealing with the dirt and roots of childhood, but it's up to the daily, hourly version of us to be their friend and help them out, give them some shameless love and understanding.
through letting them experience life differently than the way they thought they had to, they'll be able to lick wounds and learn to hold memories honestly and without shame. and with time and effort, as the daily you needs to get something done but is hit with thinking you can't. you'll be there to say "yes, actually you can, and i'll love you even if you don't". it becomes a friendship where there was once animosity.

this is what is actually means to love yourself :) it's an achievable goal and functions a lot like working out, but with neurochemicals and relationships

speaking from lots of experience, hope this helps!

>>8586678
okay I'm the anon from >>8586623 and >>8586603, and honestly what a piece of shit, DUMP HIS IDIOT ASS. There are plenty of guys in the sea who are going to treat you better than this idiot. Letting him go will not be a loss on his part, what an actual gremlin.

>>8586690
*will not be a loss on YOUR part

But for real, he's a douche, my point still stands

>>8586653
>I've been trying look happy outwardly
never works

let yourself be sad, have conversations with your boyfriend, maybe take time off from cosplay. it's your life, not cosplay's or the fandom's or a younger version of you that thinks you need to cosplay for self expression regardless of how you feel

>>8586678
(before you dump him) Let him know that it's not a compliment. It's just shady as fuck on his part.

>>8586315
Monster movie night?

>>8586617
gonna cry a bit tbh

>>8585944
Just now tried it, still hate my face. I just really dislike my face in photos. I'm not photo cute.

>>8586687
not that anon but i like the way you think. when i am at my best this is a lot like how i try to describe healing processes.

>>8586618
Anon, is she a bit of a doormat? If she's generally nice and passive (without being passive-aggressive) then she's likely to attract the type of person who will use and manipulate her, which would account for her experiences. If she's not, then she might just be a bit paranoid and needs to learn self awareness.

>>8586455
I don't think I do. But in photos I swear my face looks longer than it actually is or it looks like I have some big face from the nose down, I get this weird lazy eyelid thing going (that I never see outside of photos), all makeups look non-existent, and my mouth keeps looking weird.
If I get married can pretty much assume now that I will HATE all my wedding photos.

>>8586597
>>8586592

D
U
M
P

H
I
M

>>8586315
Ask any friends if they'd want to go out to a movie and dinner that day.

>>8586315
hand out candy or other goodies! kids will love it.

>>8586687
You're the best, anon. Thank you so much.

>>8586315
>already planning for Halloween

the hell do people do on Halloween anyway once you're too old for trick or treating

>>8586877
Normalfags have parties.

I don't bother with Halloween at all, though. Dressing up ~9 times a year ruins the only good thing about it.

>>8586877

Get drunk and wear slutty costumes.

Which is different than normal because they wear slutty costumes instead of slutty clothes while drinking.

>>8585957
I feel your pain anon.
I have Unicorn in Bloomland in pink and haven't worn it since I saw this stunning girl in a perfect coord with the navy version

>>8586813
She used to be, not anymore though. Yet she still, according to what she tells me, seems to always be around abusive (mentally) people.

>>8586623
So she will go from unhappy dumpy and shitty feeling to unhappy, dumpy, shitty and alone?
A++ comment sounds like great advice. I have an idea maybe she can work out until she gets some self worth instead of you jumping on the guy.
They both sound like pieces of shit tbh iykwis. But seriously dump him lol smh tbh it sounds like you have never been kissed.

>tfw your secret didn't get posted
b-but I spent a whole 9000 hours in ms paint

>>8586584
Definitely change therapists then

>>8586678
>>8586712
It's a backhanded compliment which is about just as bad.

>>8586898
An asshole like that isn't worth it, though.

>>8585951
Underage b&

>Have a bunch of lolita friends who like nerdy stuff like me
>Excellent, except:
>I'm halfway across the country for uni, rarely get to attend meets
>Never find the time or money for new co-ords (London is a wallet eater)
>They've even mentioned to me that I always wear the same outfits (in a nice way dw)
> Having to borrow a dress for Regalia so I don't feel shit
> Can't even seem to get headwear and accessories for it though

Not so terrible, but on top of this:
>Have a BFF flatmate and a few friends in London
>Great! Except:
>They're all reeaally cool and popular
>Always look great, always talking abour their hobbies and passions and music etc..
>Not in a douchey way though
>I feel stupid and lame around them
>Always left out because they're out with they're other friends/boyfriends
>Third wheel as fuck

I feel split between two worlds, neither of which I can really fit into and enjoy. It's hard not to feel constantly down on myself when I'm so boring and lonely.

>>8585892
I just want to know if it's torn, the X ray they took did jack shit for that.

>>8586813
This sounds like me. I have terribly bad luck and I'm not so much a doormat as trust some people too quickly and it always ends badly when I put my foot down. But I would be careful. I know I am a rare case tbh and there are a lot of scary people out there just looking to lie so you pity them. It does happen though

>>8586618
Honestly, after having a really traumatic childhood, I become wary if maybe I'm the problem or I really do meet all the wrong people. It go to the point where I was telling myself not to trust people but then trusting them anyway because I don't know how not to. I always have stories of people being shitty to me so I feel like I'm the problem but at the same time, I'm not making up the stuff people do.

I just accept that I'm most likely crazy and can't handle human interaction properly, so now I just kind of expect people to be shitty, and I try to be nice but apparently that doesn't matter.

>>8586561
just EAT jfc
stop being an special snowflake

>>8586898
>sounds like you have never been kissed
4chan is an 18+ site, you sound like a 16 yr old edgelord
Why should she continue being with someone who makes her feel like she's unattractive and upset? Self worth shouldn't come from one's partner, it should come from oneself regardless of body size/how much someone works out, so in all fairness it would be better for her to ditch someone who makes her feel like shit so she can build her confidence alone. Therefore when she's next in a relationship she'll know that with or without a boyfriend, she's worth being treated well.

If it was anon's female friend making her feel unattractive & like shit, we'd be saying the same thing. Not all relationships can be/need to be patched over, and when a SO acts like anon's bf did, your comments are shitty advice

>>8587024
So you are or are not disputing that you have never been kissed? While you meme arrowed it you don't seem to have confirmed nor denied.

>>8586898
>So she will go from unhappy dumpy and shitty feeling to unhappy, dumpy, shitty and alone?
I don't know if this is bait or if you really think it's okay to stay in a relationship you're unhappy in because "lol at least I'm not alone!"
That sort of thinking is just really sad and makes me feel sorry for you.

>>8587029
Fine, I'll take the bait. I have been kissed, have been in functioning relationships, but the fact that you pulled that out of my answer and nothing else proves my point
oh anon you didn't confirm nor deny being a 16 yr old edgelord though, so going by that logic.........

>>8587037
But the grass ain't always greener on the other side, it's green where you water it

>>8587045
if the grass is an asshole and makes you feel like crap, stop watering

>>8587040
Sorry, the rest of your post just seemed like incoherent rambling so I wasn't sure how to respond to it.

>>8587053
1/10 bait, you made me reply
>so you are confirmed for 16 yr old

>>8587045
But if you really think that you're going to be unhappy whether you stay dating someone who is a jerk or not, then your best bet is to drop the bf who's only making you feel worse and focus on helping yourself feel better and live a more fulfilling life.

> Very clearly a white woman.
> Have a Japanese last name via marriage.
> Afraid people in my new comm will see my Facebook profile and assume I'm a weeb with a kawaii desu fake name.
> Which is exactly what happened in my last community.
> No idea how to preempt this or if I even should.
> One more thing to worry about while trying to get established in a new place.

>>8587057
I mean do you think it's not?
>Why should she continue being with someone who makes her feel like she's unattractive and upset?
We literally only know they have been having a rough patch, we have no idea how long they have been dating or anything besides this one event.
>Self worth shouldn't come from one's partner, it should come from oneself regardless of body size/how much someone works out, so in all fairness it would be better for her to ditch someone who makes her feel like shit so she can build her confidence alone.
She literally said
>I know he would be getting a lot of attention from girls in great shape that are exactly his type.
This means she isn't in great shape, she is literally sitting around at home being unhappy instead of improving herself so she can be one of the girls in "great shape" This is obviously making her sad. You can health at every size all you want but she is NOT satisfied with herself and needs to fix it.
>Therefore when she's next in a relationship she'll know that with or without a boyfriend,
She can get self worth while still being in a relationship
>she's worth being treated well.
How do we know that she might be a real piece of shit
>If it was anon's female friend making her feel unattractive & like shit, we'd be saying the same thing. Not all relationships can be/need to be patched over, and when a SO acts like anon's bf did, your comments are shitty advice
Or maybe she could get get /fit/ and everything will be fine.
But seriously all of your opinions, like what are you talking about fam

>>8586584
hey, anon, hang in there! :(

>>8587065
Maybe you can try going by your first and middle name instead, and just not use you last one on your online profiles?

She'll probably see this, but oh well.
>girl in my new comm wants to be my friend
>she's so nice to me
>never had anyone be so friendly and helpful to me for nothing like that before
>we talk and she finds out I'm struggling finding employment
>I'm basically two degrees but with no actual experience doing anything outside of retail
>she offers to tweak my resume and send it to her company that's hiring
>thank her immensely
>never EVER had a friend do that for me before, not even my childhood friends
>nobody gives a fuck, but it seems like this friend does which is great and I'm over the moon
>suicidal feefees fade
>suddenly she's talking to me less
>probably because I didn't get that job but not like I'm surprised since I suck
>still appreciate what she did anyway
>don't want to presume that everything revolves around me either and that she isn't just busy with her own life to talk
>try to start convos over fb but they're not really taking off like they used to

Shit...I don't even know what happened, gulls. Hold meeee.

>>8586965
trust doesn't always have to be 100%. you can have however much trust for people you want. if that makes a friend upset, then they can be upset, that's just fine. but a lot of people will take you as is and let you trust as much or as little as possible. it's not mean to not know how to trust, it's practically been printed into human psychology up until the last century

also, trust doesn't always have to be externalized. trust can be an internal process, too. you can trust yourself to leave situations or even relationships that hurt you, trust yourself to have boundaries in friendships, trust that some people won't be shitty and can respect your boundaries, and then that most people aren't trying to be shitty but don't know how to work their own trust issues

learning how big trust works is a personal maze, but it's a hedge maze and with time and effort you can build tools to turn it into a garden :)

>>8586809
worst, best; it's all a day at a time, luckily. learning to care for the oscillation helps, but you seem to already know you can heal and that's a good place to be at as any

>>8587065
I bet they'd feel like dicks though once they find out it's your last name by marriage. Why worry if you're living the truth?

>>8587065
>> Afraid people in my new comm will see my Facebook profile and assume I'm a weeb with a kawaii desu fake name.
>> Which is exactly what happened in my last community.
Wat... unless you are hanging out with nerds that know what weaboos even are I can't imagine most normal people would give it a second thought. Oh janes last name is yokihama thats weird, I wouldn't assume that you're a weeb.

>>8587065
you don't need to preempt anything. you loved this man enough to take his last name. that's not weeb feels, that's honest real life feelings.

weeb is internet. internet is not real. love is real.
they can deal with it.

> One more thing to worry about while trying to get established in a new place.
sounds like you could use less things to worry about anyways

>>8587049
preach that good, good shit, anon!

>>8587068
Not that anon, but honestly what the fuck are you on about?
As if just slimming down a bit will make all of anons problems disappear? And why should we assume that the anon is a terrible person? I understand that cgl is mean but HURR DURR THEY MIGHT BE EVIL AND UNWORTHY OF LOVE is a little much
Inb4 "but cgl is mean." I am aware. We're all terrible people and we're going to hell etc etc etc etc

>>8587068
shut the fuck up

>>8586925
The reason they don't do one straight off the bat is it literally will not make a difference about what they do for you right now and it doesn't change the sort of physical therapy you get, or whether you will or won't get better with physical therapy. Most people consider an MRI overinvestigation at this point, especially given the way you did it isn't typical to cause a tear. The x ray is good because it ruled out bone issues which would stop you being able to have physio.

>>8587098
>why should we assume that the anon is a terrible person?
Why should we assume she isn't, it sounds like shes a sad lazy sack of shit that sits around being sad all day. I mean I guess you can defend her if you want but I don't see why you would assume she is some sort of great person, why didn't she want to go to the con with her boyfriend?
>if just slimming down a bit will make all of anons problems disappear?
Considering it sounds like the root of her problem, yes it will.
>>8587099
Oh man let me get some ice for that burn you just gave me.

>>8587079
Yeah, I'm considering that. I haven't met anyone in my new area yet, so only the mods have really seen my full name. It would be odd to my friends and family, but I can probably say I want more "privacy" on social media as an excuse.

>>8587087
Just neurosis, I guess. I worry about the impact that preconceived notions can have on forming friendships with the kinds of people I would want to hang out with? I have a somewhat low tolerance for big-time weebs, so I wouldn't want to be associated with them.

>>8587092
Lolita community. Sorry that wasn't clear.

>>8587109
Honestly I don't know what you're defending at this point. A boyfriend who has made someone feel like shit. Chill, take your crappy defences away from the computer pronto

>>8587111
>being friends with people who make petty preconceived judgements based on a freaking fb name
You want that, truly?

>>8587117
ignore the troll, there's one in each feels thread who targets an anon posting bf/gf problems. and often it's the same person.

notice how they kept quiet through all the "dump her" responses to bad relationships with women and only stirred shit for this one male-female dynamic. if you feed them they will keep returning and repeating the same tired shit.

>>8587134
Yeah I've noticed the same phenomenon anon. I think someone is reallyy bored.

>>8587134
Actually I'm not the normal guy, my girlfriend mentioned >>8586592 to me while she was browsing through the thread so I thought I'd come have a look.
She said I shouldn't shit post on /cgl/ and that I'm going to get the thread deleted.

>>8586624
i ship her and agentlemandoesnotconga. king and queen of snark.

>>8587117
It's literally hey guys my boyfriend said something that made me feel sad once, and the crowd is roaring for blood with calls to break off their unknown relationship.

The best part is the guy is out having fun and stuff while this debbie downer is feeling sad for herself and then you defend the girl wasting her time at home.
But I would also feel sad knowing that my boyfriend is going to break up with me at some point for being a piece of shit, people don't like sad people.

You know what, the more that I think about it, she should break up with him. Because if she is going to take advice from /cgl/ that dude needs to be set free from a literal retard.

Pretty sure everyone in my comm dislikes me,
they all seemed to really like me at first when I joined,
but now they all seem really distant
I think it's because I post too much about Lolita,
more obsessive over the fashion because I have lots of spare time and a bit more money than most of them . I try and be super humble about it even though I own a lot of brand in my first year I think a few are jealous.
I also have an ouji boyfriend and any time he does something cute for me at a meet up I can feel the jealousy and tension from the other girls blatantly.
I had a falling out with another girl in the comm, and since then I think that she also has played the victim to an extreme and has been trying to turn the comm against me.
It hurts because I thought I actually had friends for a while, but now I just stay home with my ouji and buy 3 times more brand just to make myself feel better.
I'm sad to leave the comm, but since I have I've become such a better Lolita and improved every coord I own and added 2 dream dresses to my wardrobe just in the past week. It's so much better this way.

>>8587127
Sadly, it is enough for people to take you less seriously and it does add another layer of challenge if they already have that expectation. If you are an adult who has a fake Japanese name, people will come at you expecting you to have Japanophile tendencies and be less mature in general. Of course I wouldn't want to be friends with someone who discounted me completely based on a misunderstanding, but I can't really be surprised if someone assumes "insert-japanese last name" isn't my legal name when I'm totally white and just happen to wear lolita.

>>8587150
Have you considered using a picture of you and your husband as your banner or what ever, I don't really do the facebook thing but maybe you can do that.

>>8587139
i think they target feels threads because they know they will get their bait reported and the thread will likely be nuked. it was an obvious pattern and it's not hard to duplicate the results. takes very little effort or even investment on the troll's part.

>con is this week
>super excited
>got contact by a photographer that isn't even a close friend of mine
>I feel so accomplished

>broke up with boyfriend a few days ago
>just tried to talk to him about it and maybe try to stay friends
>turns into us just saying all the stuff we hated about each other
>feels bad
>classes start tomorrow, not prepared
>the only days off I've had from work in 3 weeks were spent moving into new house
>pre-period migraine hit at work today, so there's that to look forward to.
No one's dying or killing themselves, but all of these small things are really piling up.

cgl related:
>have 2 cosplays, a plushie, and a kigu to finish sewing before Youmacon.
>realization.jpg
>only have a third of each cosplay done.
>Local stores don't even have fleece in the colors needed for the plush or kigu
>what have I done

>>8585921
I feel you, anon. Every time I look in the mirror for ootd shots, I'm like "wow I look good" and then I take the picture and my jaw looks wide as fuck, I have a fivehead and my eyes look uneven.
I usually just cover it up by cropping my head out or covering my face with a sticker.

happy feels:
>friend who I'm not really close to just got into a series I'm really, really into
>she's planning a cosplay for said series
>omg she's my only friend who's cosplaying this series
>cry a little bit as we start coordinating cosplays
We've become way better friends since she said she wants to cosplay this series. I'm really happy.

sad feels:
>dumped boyfriend because he was acting like a turd
>cheated on me
>with my best friend
>she was the one who initiated it knowing perfectly well that I was head-over-heels in love with him
Even though I don't regret booting both of them out of my life since I'm super against cheating and this was just a really shitty thing to do, it still feels really bad because that's almost 3.5 years of friendship and happy times that went down the drain. :(

>>8587150
not to mention that one seagull who brags now and then about reporting "weeaboo names" on FB. people do judge, and sometimes just need to be educated.

i would recommend you show your relationship status as "Married to Tom Yamaguchi" or whatever hubby's name is. that should be enough.

>>8586592

He's saying "Even though there were a lot of really hot girls there, I love you too much to cheat on you."

He's not saying you're unattractive. Guys rarely directly compare how attractive one girl is compared to another, our attractiveness scale is universal rather than comparative.

>>8587150
Maybe put your last name as (maiden name)-(married name)? Or like other anons have said, have you and your husband as you profile picture or "married to (husband's profile)" as your relationship status.
Tbh I've met a lot of people when I collected BJDs who were actual full-blown adult weebs even though they had normal names and looked like just your average white lady.
I sold a BJD to a non-Japanese woman who legit had a daughter whose first name was Asuna-Yuuki (or so she claimed on FB). Her husband wasn't Japanese either so I can only assume they named her after the SAO character.

>>8585731

>I pray I'll be in heels by October 10th or my maid of honor dress will be too long.

You people are crazy, if I lost function in my knee, some other person's wedding would be the least of my concerns. Like, you are now going to be eaten first when the zombie apocalypse happens, and you're more worried what others will think when they see you in a dress?!

>>8585837
>>8586672

If you're trying to lose weight you could try swimming. If you do HIIT (wikipedia it) you can spend very little time in the pool; you'll feel great the rest of the day, you'll sleep better, and you won't have to worry as much about what you eat (as long as you swim regularly). Just force yourself for the first three weeks, then you'll get addicted to it.

>>8586499

Trying to babysit him won't make him sexier. Girls like guys that are competitive, and you can't just give someone that. I would give up on him (it's for his own good anyway). I agree that weightlifting will help with self-image, though.

>>8587209
>a daughter whose first name was Asuna-Yuuki
They're breeding......

>>8587083
Thanks anon. The biggest problem I have is thinking I can trust someone only to have them prove me wrong.

>workout super hard
>lose 30 lbs, more than I planned on losing
>dat 23" waist
>get pregnant
>underweight, body overcompensates by clinging to every bit of fat it can
>gain 70 lbs
>no longer pregnant
>lost 20 lbs
>need to lose about 35-40 more to be at healthy weight that makes me happy

And so this is more /cgl/:
>will probably never be confident enough to show stomach/hips/thighs again due to stretch marks
>most cosplay ideas now nixed

>>8587256
What about investing in some heavy concealers and makeup that'll cover it up?

>friend thinks she's a better lolita than me
>has always thought this
>she's in university I'm in a CC
>she complains about how I'm always buying lolita
>'I'm not spending $35k on schooling'
>'you're on government assistance, you shouldn't be allowed to have lolita if you're on food stamps!'
>I work really hard for my Lolita
>work open to close shifts
>work overtime while a student
>'it's quality over quantity anon'
>all I'm buying is indie and brand
>she wears only bodyline
>mfw I got selected for a fashion show and she didn't

Am I snobby for being happy that she didn't get in? She is always putting me down and making me feel bad about myself

> one of my friend has the idea of put me into a Lolita dress because i have a long hair and pale skin and some what inoccent and Naiv personality (In her opinion) so know I am scarred and embarrassed

>>8587294
Hopefully this doesn't sound too hateful, but I hope you land a nice wealthy guy who will work with you to launch your own fashion career (or whatever you're into), while your proud condescending friend gets pumped and dumped by Chads and burns herself out on a stupid go nowhere middle management career in a field she clearly only went into because of money.

God, nothing butthurts me more than "I'm better than you" college millennials.

>>8586584

are you me

>>8586897

Yeah, I knew somebody like that and she turned out to be the one who was the abusive asshole. Some people go through groups of friends over and over and bitch about it and claim to be abused or whatever, but at the end of the day, they are the common denominator and you have to avoid falling for the "poor me" schtick. Look after yourself, anon.

>>8587313
>I hate 'better than you' mentalities
>because some college millennials don't legitimately work hard
>because wishing someone a lifetime of misery is a mature response to a college complex

There's a difference between being annoyed/mad at someone's attitude and hateful/vindictive. Take it down a notch.

>>8587256
>23 waist
>70 pounds of pregnancy

REKT

>>8586640
"practice what I preach"
gdi so much love

>>8586638
she posted a video on her tumblr of her talking to the preacher anon

>>8587294
not a real friend anon. and no, I'd be glad she didn't get in either. not just because she's a shit person but because she would bring everyone else down in the show

>>8587363
Did you misread that post or something? She didn't say that all college millennials didn't work hard, just that she hates the ones with "I'm better than you" attitudes. Making an over the top text post on an anonymous image board that the girl it's aimed at will literally never see, vs this girl causing OP legitimate, real-life distress is a fine response. It's not like she's mailing it to her. Calm down.

>>8587399
Did you misread my post? I'm not saying anon should repent because that girl might be reading, I'm saying it's hypocritical and unhealthy to act like she's better than a college millennial who happens to have a shitty attitude. Then wishing she'd get fucked over by a million chads and never have a good job. That's such a sensational response to extremely common, yet unsurprising, college behavior. Lots of people think they're invincible and will get gr8 jobs straight out of college because they're naive and between the ages of 18-23. It's no reason to wig out.

>>8586975

>>8587301
While I do know the feel of wanting to play dressup with someone has the lolita look, actually doing anything is overstepping boundaries.
If she starts buying stuff you don't want and guilt-tripping you into wearing it, get out of there.

>>8586062
>>8586346
Thanks for the ideas, guys. I guess I'm just upset I will never live up to dream dress status again, but there are things I can fall back on.

having a weird cosplay commissioning experience rn:
>july 22
>see a "commission me" post, prices were cheap, I had spare $, sure why not
>try to get a kigurumi made by sept 1st
>they say sure thats fine but they're leaving the country til August 14th and when they get back they will email me for measurements
>I ask do they think 2 weeks would be enough time to make it and they say it'll only take 1 day to make, so I say sure that's fine

>Aug 14, I ask if they're back, no response
>week later, no response, assume they're just not going to do it at all, whatever that's fine I haven't paid anything yet anyway
>4 more days pass, she emails me asking for measurements, I send them within an hour, I ask if they'll have enough time since it's Aug 24th at this point
>they say they'll be done by the 26th

>Aug 26th, no response
>don't hear anything til the 29th, Saturday, where they email me I NEED YOUR ADDRESS RIGHT NOW TO SHIP!
>of course that was the only day I didn't check my email all day, didn't give them an address until 16 hours later, so I'm sure they couldn't ship it out
>today's Sunday so they couldn't ship today either

feels weird because I haven't paid anything, communication has been spotty at best, and no way is this getting to me by the 1st if they ship it tomorrow

or am I just being a jerk idk, never commissioned anything before...

>>8587438
You seem like the type that hates when people vent. She's speaking rhetorically out of sympathy.

>>8587342
No, but it's kind of reassuring to know someone else feels the same. Hang in there anon, we can do it.

>>8586904
It's really my problem for not being honest about having issues. I try to come off much more well adjusted than I really am because I don't want people to think of me badly. I'm going to try and talk about it and if it doesn't work I'll see about changing to a new one. I just don't really want to be in between therapists if I'm suicidal.

I'm venting right now, sorry. :( 1/3

>Meet cool guy through mutuals at con party
>Hang out with guy during the night at various cons
>Eventually end up cuddling after a party
>Convention coming up, no close friends going, but guy is going
>Get excited about being able to hang with him
>Won't see him for months after this due to their being no other cons, want to spend as much time as possible
>Go to con, hang out with him, he decides to stay in my room for the night
>Cuddles happen, con is turning out great
>Day 1, suddenly his non-con friends are there
>They're just kind of glaring at me and talking quietly
>Guy is rooming with these friends and leaves to check them into hotel
>Hang with some other friends for a while
>Guy comes back alone, friends are at the con getting badges
>Head to a big party and his friends join us
>Friends are basically sitting in the corner, not socializing or having a good time
>Friends decide they're going back to their hotel and try to take guy with him
>ohhellno.jpg
>He tells them he wants to stay at the party, but they try to talk him out of it
>Eventually his friends just leave, but one stays for some reason
>Remaining friend eventually says he's tired and going back to the room
>Tells guy to text him later so he knows he's okay
>Wat?
>Friend leaves and I ask guy what's up with his friends
>'Oh lol they thought you were going to rape me or something, I told them to chill'
>Uh what?
>Have good time, go back to room, more cuddles
>Day 2, guy's friends take him for most of the day and I'm left alone.
>Finally, guy comes back to the room and we make plans to go to a party
>Nope, friends call and need him for something
>Getting frustrated, but deal with it

2/3

>Guy comes back and we head to another big party, friends join us and do same corner sitting shit
>Finally have time with guy, all is good
>Spend night catching up with con friends, but always eventually wander back to the guy
>Go back to room for drinks with some mutuals and his friends
>His friends are being friendly and it's a good time
>One of guys friends catches me when I'm going to another group of people and says 'hey, you're being really clingy, tone it down a bit'
>Staring at him while haze of rage builds, but laugh it off
>All of guy's friends but the one who called me clingy go back to their hotel for the night
>Another mutual comes to room and asks guy if he wants to go meet some other mutuals
>Guy says 'yeah sure' and starts walking out the door while I stare, expecting him to ask if I want to come
>Mutual notices and says 'Don't worry, I'll take care of him' as they leave
>Maybe he told his friend to tell me I'm being clingy
>Eyes beginning to tear up
>Text close friend who's not at con for comfort
>Doesn't really work, starting to sober up
>Sit around sulking for 40 minutes, then realize that my room has filled with people I don't know
>Kick everyone out because I want to find guy
>Friend who called me clingy decides to go back to his hotel
>Text mutual he left with and find out where they are
>Head to meet up with them and hang out for a short time
>After a while, friend just gets up and starts walking away
>Ask him what's up
>No response
>Catch up with him and eventually he tells me he doesn't remember where he was going
>Extremely frustrated with the situation and it's showing in voice
>Head back to room together
>Tell him his friend told me I was being too clingy and ask him if he thinks that
>'Yeah you are being kind of clingy, just chill a bit'

Last chapter of my book 3/3

>Tear up a bit more, but go to talk to other friends
>Get irresponsibly wasted and other friends leave after an hour or so
>End up back with guy and some mutuals
>It's really late and we're all getting sleepy
>Start spraying confessions about how I just really like hanging with him and I'm going to miss him after the con
>Tells me it's okay and some stuff I can't remember and we fall asleep cuddling
>Wake up the next day and check out
>Guy asks if I want to get breakfast with him and his friends
>Not up for eating anything, I'll wait for you at the hotel
>Take some of guy's luggage for him while he goes to eat
>Guy takes a long time to get back and I really just want to go home
>He finally returns, takes his luggage and tells me they're going to check out the dealers
>I just want to go home, so he gives me a quick hug, says it was fun, and walks away
>Go home and text him that I'm sorry for being clingy, later at night
>No response
>Full of bad feels since

>Need to tea dye at least a yard worth of fabric
>Don't want to use up delicious tea

>>8587594
Go buy some from the dollar store. Problem solved.

>>8587540
I just empathize with all sides of the situation and I say it in a way that likely comes across as a personal attack. No offense intended, I just have friends on both sides of the spectrum and sometimes I just wish people would calm down.

>>8587580
>>8587583
>>8587586
you seem fucking annoying
poor guy...

>>8587597
I dry and keep my used tea bags for stuff like this so the trip to the dollar store isn't even necessary. My last roommate was super grossed out by it though.

OT:
>making hat to match coord from scratch
>fabric went through three bleachings and two separate dyes to get to right colour
>finish putting hat together, feel good about self
>spills clear nail polish onto brim
>can't stain remove because it runs the risk of removing dye too
>not enough fabric to remake brim
>not enough dye to make a new batch because i got it overseas when visiting family
>can't even cover up the goddamn stain with lace or trim because it's too far from the edge
>kill me

>>8587150
I understand what you mean. I am also white and married to a Japanese man and worry about this too.
As someone suggested, I have my Facebook name displayed as "First Maiden Last", which I think is less likely to appear fake. As a bonus, it didn't confuse people when I got married and changed it.

>>8587294
Although if you can afford lolita, why are you on food stamps? Or are you really not on food stamps?

>>8586924
You're probably not as boring as you think, or those people wouldn't want to be friends with you. Getting caught up in worrying how lame you are can really drag you down.

>>8587769
My mom is on food stamps, and I still live with her. We only get like $7 a month, but we only keep it so my siblings can have free lunches at school.

We have no issues with money, we just get them as a boost due to my father cheaping out on child support

>>8585731
Who cares about wedding pictures? Fix your body, do your physical therapy and wear flats. You really need to get your priorities straight.

>>8587580
>>8587583
>>8587586
You should have given him some space, you're not even in a relationship, yet running around, looking for him and following him everywhere. He was really nice about it. You always could have asked him if he wanted to meet outside the con sometimes instead of being like that.

>>8587776
Ah okay, I can understand that.

That feel when you don't know how to do the green inlay text on 4chan.

I just want to fucking die already

>>8587811
jesus fuck

get off the internet, grandma

>>8587870
Suicide

>>8587811
>it's literally that easy
little tip: >

>New girl in comm ends up living really close to me
>starts talking on a regular basis and borrows clothes, seems cool, turns into new loli bff
>super excited to have someone to geek out about lolita with since all my other friends in the comm are an hour or more away
> end up meeting another noob in the comm, becomes the 3 musketeers
>Lolita bff slowly starts to bitch more and be more negative. Dont really think more of it, slowly it gets worse but is written off as normal
>Bff has shitty spending habits that rub off on us. What are bills? What are responsibilities?
>3rd musketeer and i talk about it, rub it off, we're just being too sensitive. Probably jelly
>Bff sells us ton of her covetet items she bought last week because she cant pay rent
>Hmmm well hard times happen, whatever
>Shit talks local girls too and from meets but kisses ass to their face
>Thinks she's everyones rival and she is God's gift to lolita and must prove her title to anyone who crosses her path
>Bff buys 3rd musketeer a gift, then decides she wants her to reimburse her
>3rd musketeer says fuck that
>A whole day of bitching from both sides.
>They break up. Hate eachother. Try to make them work it out but bff shit talks 3rd musketeer and wont hear anything of it, even when 3rd musketeer trys to make peace.
>Fast foreward a month later, find out bff shit talks and lies about me to anyone who will listen to her in the comm
>Confront her about it when she tries to say how shitty i am, and she blows up
>Tells 3rd musketeer the comm isnt big enough for the 3 of us
>When she crys about how she cant pay bills and pp is in the red and i offer to buy some pieces i like so she can still borrow them (like she always did) and still pay bills, she flips and says im just using her for her brand(even though when we met she had nothing)


>Over a year later she stsrts to kiss ass to 3rd musketeer and they start hanging out
>Throws shade at my friends and dirty looks and wont talk to me unless forced too
1/2

>>8587958
>Basically being a total bitch for no reason
>I miss her but the way she acts i dont even know why
>There were good times mixed in with the bs that i miss
>Just want to be friends
>Dont even know what her problem with me is
>dont even know why she felt the need to shot talk me (or anyone )in the first place
>Everyone says i shouldnt care but i do
>She goes on cgl and will probably see this but fuck. I don't care. I've been holding this in for over a year and nobody except the 3rd musketeer and the bf know the deets. I just need to vent
>I miss you and ive made a ton of valentines for you.
>Why dont you give a shit about me? What did i do wrong? Youre the one who did wrong. Everybody knows it. But somehow its all my fault.
>you make me feel stupid for missing you
>Wtf is wrong with me
2/2

>>8586561
>on acomplised
>>dream dress arrived and first perfectly
>>I did it, I have the control of my body, I have power on it.
>>Feeling SUPER great

I know the feel anon but you should not give up eating, you're very close to not fitting them anymore because you might get too thin. Please take care!

>I am small size but was chubby in high school
>when I became a student I started to lose weight
>yay I can look good too
>got ED couldn't stop losing weight
>got rid of ED because it's no good.
>8 years later now and weight fluctuates
>started doing stupid in-house exercise and still eat cookies and stuff but I'm like 50 kg now
>that's dream weight, however because of my big chest my dresses are tight on the top, they still fit though
> really always hate my legs though, they'll never be skinny cute legs
>Now watching weight and feel bad about eating nice stuff even when it's okay
>husband does not approve, he hates me being skinny and watching my weight.

am I fucked?

I can't stand Tenso anymore.
>create a tenso account and put the adress of some reservation items from IW as it
>assume than the identity verification process will be finished by the time it arrives to them
>after 3 weeks when I send them basically all my identity papers, they still can't confirm my name, or my shipping adress, wich always remain the same
>send them a message and suddenly they confirm it
>choose airmail for shipping because EMS is a private company in my country and I would have to go at one hour in car away from where I live and pay basically the price of my package
>receive an email : "payment complete, thanks, your package will be shipped"
>then two days later another one :"your package is too large for being shipped through SMALL airmail, you need to choose a shipping option again!"
>tfw they only offered me those options in the beginning
>pay again
>wait for my refund infinitely but contact them about that
Anyone had some issues with Tenso?

>>8586561
>tfw 1m58 and 62kg

>need to buy a black plain jsk
>check auctions
>pink, pink everywhere
>also one of the pink dresses is a wishlist item
>idk what to do
>i don't use total pink but that is so effin adorable
>mfw

>>8585921
I don't want to scare you anon, but I red once a study about how your brain perceives you in the mirror and it said that it makes you look better than you actually are and that what you look like in pictures, especially candid ones, is what you REALLY look like.

I'm on the same boat.
> ugly as fuck round face, but somewhat nice other facial features
> look good in mirror when my hair nicely frames my face
> in all pictures look like total shit, as if I had 200kgs, completely hideous
> avoid getting my picture taken at cons or anywhere else
> "Anon-chan, what's up with you, you are so pretty!"
> look good maybe in 1 out of 1000 pictures
> tfw not even fat

>tfw redpilled lolita
>all the girls in my comm are degenerate leftists
>they are pro illegal immigrants, white guilt, 3rd wave feminism, social justice stuff, and the like
>have to hide my power level whenever a controversial topic arises
>facebook feed is plastered with retarded sjw whining about 1rst world non issues
>tfw don't have any lolita friends I can talk freely about anything
>don't enjoy being around those people at all

I always wanted to make lolita friends, but becoming a lone lolita seems the only acceptable option at this point.

>>8588056
I wish I had a female friend like you.

>>8588056
Common "liberal" lolita here.
>pro illegal immigrants
Agreed that this is a problem and our current leader has all but enabled it. I have immigrant friends who got in the legal ways and are productive citizens now.
>white guilt
I have none, don't owe people shit for what people unrelated to me did.
>3rd wave feminism
Well are you upset with it for the fact that western feminism is flawed (i.e. bossy and the never ending cat calls), or are you one of those retarded bitches who make those "I dun need no stinkin feminism" signs and think that feminism has no use for current inequitable worldwide sexism, which does indeed still exist?
>social justice stuff
Depends what you'd consider social justice but for the most part I find a lot of the tumblr and newsvine tier shit emotionally charged and not that factual.

I empathize with you, sometimes I feel that my views have offended some of my lolita friends who are ultra-lib, but it's really hard to keep my political views and fashion separated on my personal fb page. Ever since I left college I've grown to accept that my friends are going to have views that I don't like, it's just unlike most retards on that website I pick my battles.

>>8586618
Take it with a grain of salt and try to get your mutuals' side of the story in casual conversation. IE "oh hey, friend said XXX but I'm thinking I must have misheard her, do you know what she's talking about?"

I was friends with a person who would always talk about how everyone she knew was screwing her over or mean or at the very least making her life difficult. It wasn't obvious at first, but she was a borderline personality who constantly made herself the victim. If there was ever a problem, someone else was the one who caused it, not poor her. I eventually dropped the friendship after she started turning these tactics on me and making her emotional manipulation more blatant. Unless your friend is the kind of person who is so genuinely sweet and naive that people can walk all over her, there's probably some kind of victim complex going on - it's really not that common where someone is so blameless and victimized by everyone she meets.

>>8588005
I read the same thing anon. I think I look pretty ok in the mirror but in photos I have a fat awkward face and I'm terrified that other people see me like that in person

>>8587697
put a fake flower there or some other cute embellishment? It is clear after all so maybe no one will notice?

>>8588083
I agree with you, other liberal lolita here

>>8588005
I feel like this isn't true, because even people irl tell me that I look way better in person than in photos. Also, it would make no sense that a camera would capture "how you look" when you have two eyes...

I like showing people this photo.

If you think your face is looking pretty fat it's because someone has a shitty, mass-produced lens and it sucks.
See what people mean when a lens makes your face "flat" and "wide"?
I'll post more.

>>8588146
This one is really bad

>>8588148
>>8588146
What size lens do most cheap cameras use? (Sorry, I know shit all about photography)

>>8588161
Most cameras used for portrait photography have a range anywhere from 70mm-200mm. The difference between a digital camera and a DSLR with an advanced lens is that the digital camera has a fixed, or very limited, focal point whereas with the attachable lenses you can literally choose one.
Newer smart phone cameras have been quite good, however.

>>8588148
>>8588146
If you're in a photoshoot this is bag photography, but in a con-scene I understand how it works. The last pic looks like distorted photoshop however.

>>8588148
>>8588146

Omg... Now I know why my face looks super long in pictures! I was never sure whether the mirror or the picture was the truth.

>>8588161
Shouldn't it say so in the tech specs?
The lens my Canon came with is 18-55mm.

As far as I know for fashion photography and other flattery of humans you wan't to be far away from the subject and use a zoom lens. It's probably not gonna work out that well in your home.

>>8588170
>>8588166
>>8588148
>>8588146
Wait, so what's the best lens for taking nice headshots within reason/average abilities of a lolita?

>>8588166
>Newer smart phone cameras have been quite good, however.

> tfw ugly fat face on smartone pictures as well.
It's time to embrace my real self.

>>8588172
Do you not realise that it legitimately all depends on an individual's face? 85mm is generally the best lens when they are about 3-4 M from your face but it depends on aperture too

>>8588172
Your taste my vary but somewhere between 70 and 150 should be fine.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Portrait_photography#Lenses

>>8588083
>Well are you upset with it for the fact that western feminism is flawed (i.e. bossy and the never ending cat calls), or are you one of those retarded bitches who make those "I dun need no stinkin feminism" signs and think that feminism has no use for current inequitable worldwide sexism, which does indeed still exist?

I clearly stated that I'm upset about 3rd wave feminism. I'm completely fine with 1rst and 2nd wave feminism as those were movements that addressed some factual real issues. But those movements reached their goals in the west for the most part. Today we live in an egalitarian society, where everyone is granted the same opportunities regardless of their gender. I'm okay with that.

Modern day 3rd wave feminism is actually a step backwards. It's all about women feeding their own self esteem issues and victim complexes by trying force their toxic views on everyone, that women are victims by default and males the oppressive partriarchy. Despite most women never being victims of oppression and most men never deliberately opressing any women. The endgame to many feminists is to equalize (aka destroying) gender differences.

There are only a few feminists that focus on real issues nowadays, like the oppression of women in the third world. Or human trafficing and sex slavery, which also still exists in the west. The few real real issues are left out by 3rd wave feminists for some reason. That's why I can live without it.


I agree with the other points you mentioned though. You are reasonable and not part of the problem. The real problem are people (mostly females) that always react emotionally and if you come up with some harsh facts, they'll be dismissed as a personal attack and you will be vilified for being a mean person. It's almost impossible to hold objective discussion with those people because they'll be triggered with muh feels the instant they are confronted with views they disagree with.

>>8588176
Just asked for something in general...
>>8588177
Thanks, anon, this is actually rather useful.

>>8586561
>1.65m, 52kg
>BMI: 14.7
Anon, this is not good at all. You are at a point where you are damaging your body and your health. Please eat, please gain some body fat. You might feel like you are weak for eating and gaining weight, but in reality you would be so strong for kicking your unhealthy obsession with weight to the curb. You'll feel better too, I promise- you are at a point where just a few pounds gained will make you feel physically stronger and healthier.

If you fear that you might have an ED, please seek help. If you don't want to tell anybody, you could seek help from a hotline or an online help site. Just please do something about it.

>>8588056
>facebook feed is plastered with retarded sjw whining about 1rst world non issues
I had to block 90% of my FB friends because they would do this, as well as buzzfeed-level "hurr look at the MRAs I found on Leddit! Misogyny!" type stuff.

>>8588083
>and think that feminism has no use for current inequitable worldwide sexism, which does indeed still exist?
I'm and Egalitarian and my issue with that statement is that rarely do Feminists ever do something about it. It's all talk and reblogs but very few (if any) actually do go over there and try to make a change.

>>8587994
I had the exact same issue. I emailed them last week asking if they could just send my items back to amazon and they never got back to me. I don't even care if I get blacklisted, since I don't plan on using them again. Too much hassle.

>>8588204
You're pretty cool.

>>8587356
That's kind of what I'm fearing about this all, what if she is the one that's overreaction/making false assumptions? I feel conflicted in if I should believe their claims and not get too involved with the two people she talked about, or if I shouldn't believe her.

Right now I'm more feeling towards not doing anything until I know more.

>>8588087
>>8588241

Honestly you two could be talking about the same girl. If OP hadn't specified they knew her through college, I'd have thought it was the same girl. Get out of there OP. My experience with somebody like that totally destroyed a big portion of my life. Some people are just twisted.

>>8588280

By same girl, I mean the same girl I knew.

>>8586561

Anon go to a doctor. You're developing an eating disorder.

>>8586472

You could get one of those reflector things people use, that would maybe direct more light toward your face from underneath and help get rid of the shadowy look in pictures?

>>8588204
>Today we live in an egalitarian society

Disagree, our society is incredibly sexist.
>the draft still exists
>women aren't equal in STEM fields
>less guys go to college
>men are less likely to get custody of their kids in a divorce
>women are more likely to be shamed for their sex lives than men
>men who face statutory rape charges are far more likely to face severe punishment than women with the same charge

I could go on, but we discriminate based on gender a lot in society. We may never reach egalitarian status.

>third wave feminism is toxic and no exceptions
You say that, but then you argue that this change has only happened in the West. And not in places like India where women are sentenced to being raped for petty crimes by their courts. Maybe you think rape culture and patriarchy is stupid, but they are still very real in the world. Maybe what you have a problem with is the focus of feminism on people who you think are privileged already as opposed to women who desperately need the aid. In which case, you are correct. But no, not all modern feminists are bad and not all are wasting their times on campaigns like "Don't slut shame me!"

For that reason, I don't think you can truly live without feminism and feel good about it. The same way most ethical people can't advocate for fair workplace conditions in western society yet go buy their clothes at discount stores where they were made by sweatshop Bangladeshis for .10c a piece. Surely a part of you still feels something has to be done, and who better than us?

Nonetheless, you don't seem unreasonable and I'm glad we agree on at least a few things.

>>8587269
Depends on how deep they are when they heal.

>>8588167
>The last pic looks like distorted photoshop however.
It's my fault for failing to mention it but anything 24mm and below for face portraits will distort the person's face so it looks taller and thinner (though it's a great cheat for fashion models).

The 100-50mm is probably what she most accurately looks like.

>>8588297
Why do people call themselves "feminists" when they obviously hold egalitarian beliefs? I keep seeing feminists say "we care about men's rights too!"

>>8588314
Because egalitarian is a stupid redundant term when people already consider feminism as aiming for equal rights.

>>8587356

>>8588087 poster here - this is 100% the way my ex-friend behaved. She'd be close to someone for months (or in my case over a year) and complain about more or less everyone else. Then you would do something she perceived as "wrong" and from then on she was convinced that everything you did had some ulterior motive to stab her in the back (probably because she talked shit behind peoples' backs all the time). Eventually she'd drop the person or they'd stop talking to her, and she'd latch onto someone else.

This particular girl cycled through friends so much, after half a year or more she'd oven go BACK to one of the original friends she'd burned and explain that she'd forgiven them or wanted to make things work, etc, until they took her back. She sent me a huge letter along these lines once, which I laughed at and refused to reply to.

>>8588241
I think that's a good plan. Keep a closer eye on how your friend behaves around people you know in the meantime. The very rare people who allow themselves to get steamrolled all the time tend to be very giving, very kind personalities vs people who use a victim complex to garner sympathy or get what they want.

>>8588326
But then why not adopt egalitarian instead of trying to shoehorn something we already have into feminism?

>>8588314
Second wave feminism.

The movement happened in the 60s during the sexual revolution, race revolution, and Vietnam War in the US. People who identified as feminists during that time were also involved in issues pertaining to the draft, racial equality, and reproductive freedoms. Those issues equally influenced the lives of men, so feminists were actually overlapping for equal rights.
The view that feminism=female domination is a stereotype that emerged from radicalized, militant feminists in the early 90s and trickled over into the third wave a la freer publishing and online broadcasting a la tumblr.

>>8588330
From my point of view, feminism came first and is widely accepted as wanting equal rights (at least in my circles). Plus personally, the term 'egalitarian' has been ruined for me by speshul snowflakes who think they're unique for being women who support male rights.

>>8585731
If it's torn but not a complete tear, PT is the way to fix it anyway. Unless it's completely or almost entirely torn through, they won't do anything like surgery.

Plus, if they were to take an MRI, they'd have to shove a pretty big needle directly into your joint to get the contrast dye in there. Not fun at all, and as has previously been stated, the results will be next to useless.

Just follow doctor's orders, anon. And, they probably gave you a cane as opposed to crutches because you have to continue to use it for it to get better. You can't just sit around all day and expect it to repair itself. Crutches would have prevented you from actually using that leg.

>>8588330
Not the anon you're arguing with but think about it for two seconds. Literally from the dictionary:

>Feminism: the advocacy of women's rights on the grounds of political, social, and economic equality to men.

Feminists want egalitarian society, and the movement looks to achieve that by gaining the rights for women that are currently missing. It's not rocket science.

>went to small shitty local con this past weekend
>begged friend to go with so we could cosplay together
>been asking her for months
>she refuses so I take a different friend
>get to con, see some shit I think friend A might like, send her snaps of it and ask if she wants it
>no response for hours
>finally a response, salty as fuck about how she actually had to work this weekend (we work at the same place)
>go back on Saturday, ask her again if she wants things, while she's NOT at work
>ignores me
>Friend B who came along also asks her
>no answer
>wait around to leave for a response
>no response
>buy her the shit anyway, $40 of prints and keychains
>yesterday morning
>look on twitter
>she fucking went on a rampage about how pissed off she was that she didn't get to go
>even though I aksed her to go and she refused
>Pissed off that we "didn't even think to buy her anything" despite all the messages we sent asking her what she wanted
>call her out on her shit
>rude, passive-aggressive comments and emojis is all I get in response
>bye friend

FFS I'm so angry with her. She used to be a really good friend but lately she's been a fucking psycho bitch. I'm always super nice and understanding with her, but this is the fucking last straw. She literally has no other friends, and then treats me like this and cries when I get upset with her.

>>8588339
Well that's interesting. But why stick with "feminism" when it obviously has a really bad stigma?

>>8588341
>Plus personally, the term 'egalitarian' has been ruined for me by speshul snowflakes who think they're unique for being women who support male rights.
Can't you say something similar for all factions, though?

>>8588356
>arguing
I'm not arguing, I'm genuinely curious.

>Feminism: the advocacy of women's rights on the grounds of political, social, and economic equality to men.
Okay, now I'm confused, what you're stating is that they're only advocating the rights of women, while the other anons are saying that they're advocating for the right of both men and women.

>Feminists want egalitarian society, and the movement looks to achieve that by gaining the rights for women that are currently missing
What sort of rights are you referring to? I keep hearing about this, but no one elaborates very much so I'm never sure if they're talking about the western world or women in third world countries. I always get the impression they're talking about the western world, but again, no one elaborates very much.

>>8588369
yeah she is looking for drama. cut her off.

>>8586877
My University throws a ball I attend and I hand out candy and perhaps take my little brother trick or treating. People try to give me candy too

>>8588384
>when it obviously has a really bad stigma?
Because you shouldn't just abandon something because ignorant people have generalized and given it a bad stereotype because they don't understand it's an encompassing movement made up of women who have varying ideas of what issues we need to care about and to what degree.

>>8588390
My college hosted a "safe Halloween" party for young kids and basically college kids volunteered to be in charge of games and face painting.
It was only for veryyyy young kids though, it was basically free babysitting for parents who couldn't be assed to supervise their hyperactive 5 year olds getting treats around the neighborhood.
>our neighborhood wasn't even bad

>>8588314
If you keep seeing feminists say that, it's because, y'know, they do care

>>8588384
well that's like saying 'why stick with lolita if it has a bad name?'
Other people are always going to judge because of a name, and if a man (or anyone) is turned away from joining an equal rights movement because the name sounds a bit ~feminine~ then they obviously don't get the concept.

>>8588401
Not the other anon but when all the rest of us get to see are crazy ladies baking brownies with their period blood and saying things like kill all men, yeah of course we are going to think you guys are nuts and NOT want to adopt your beliefs.
It's not just the internet either, majority of the real life feminists i've met have been completely disgusting in every sense of the word.

>>8588404
I never said they didn't care, I was just wonder why they say they're feminists when their beliefs seem to line up more with egalitarianism. We seem to be on the same page so I'm not sure why you're saying it's bait.

>>8588416
>crazy ladies baking brownies with their period blood
You know, I gotta say, I've been involved in some pretty heavy-duty feminism in my life. I was in the Vagina Monologues during college, donated money to a shelter, etc. But putting blood in consumables is not normal behavior.
The most lewd thing we did was make penis/vagina chocolate pops to raise funds and bake cupcakes with colored fondant labia stuck on them.
>kill all men
Again, psychotic, militant behavior of a few individuals does not an entire movement make.

That's like saying the MRA doesn't have a point about men's rights regarding the draft and divorce just because there's a few fedora-tippers who think women should go back to the kitchen and die.
Or that race relations have no ground because Black Panthers exist.
It's a logical fallacy to assert that a vocal minority makes up an entire movement of people.

>>8588416
I wonder where you live? Where I'm from, most women consider themselves feminists, even some muslim girls do (that's a pretty big step considering a lot of them have really controlling parents here)
On the other hand, the most rampant anti-feminist girl I know is an obese, spotty, greasy haired weeaboo, so location, location, location I suppose

>>8588314
>>8588427
Personally the only 'egalitarians' I've ever met were MRAs in disguise who cried BUT WHAT ABOUT THE POOR OPPRESSED MENZ WE SHOULD BE TALKING ABOUT THE MENZ every single time someone brought up anything about discrimination against women. So I guess that to me, that term is pretty much tainted too.

>>8588414
That makes sense I guess, though I don't think people are turned off of feminism because it has a feminine name, it seems to be that it's because the radical feminists are the loudest, the majority, as well as becoming university/college teachers where they can express those radical views.

>>8588441
>the majority

>tfw they're not really a majority it's just that us normal, well-adjusted feminists don't whore ourselves loudly on social media and are busy with projects that actually help irl people instead of armchair internet policing

These threads get derailed so much, every time.

>>8587597
Oh.

>still living with parents and paying minimal rent
>making enough money waiting tables to buy lolita on a semi-regular basis
>Decide to go back to college despite bad previous experiences due to parental naging
>no longer have enough money for lolita at all
This marketing degree better land me a sweet ass job

>>8588441
a lot of boys are, I've heard people say 'I want equal rights but I don't want to say I'm a feminist'
The militant 'majority' you talk about is actually not a majority at all, it's just the crazy weirdos are always going to be the ones in the public eye because they are crazy and it gives the 'normal' people a means to stereotype all feminists and something to laugh at

>>8588384
>while the other anons are saying that they're advocating for the right of both men and women.

What they probably mean is that a social change where women are seen in an equal light as men (as opposed to being inferior) will benefit both men and women. While women get hit with the brunt of gender inequality obviously, it also affects men in ways they may not even realize because it's so ingrained into the way you think. IE, men are expected to be the breadwinner and a guy who stays at home or makes less money than his wife is "girly" or a "a pussy." IE guys getting shunned by other guys for acting feminine.

>>8588432

Yes, but these views are becoming mainstream and are being brought up as common, even acceptable views in a lot of mainstream media. And hell, I've seen feminists who try to oppose these views get decried and shunned by the very movement they identify with.

The movement's kind of a mess now tbh. I'll just go back to being an advocate for women's health and I'll come back when the movement is a bit calmer then.

>>8588498
>What they probably mean is that a social change where women are seen in an equal light as men (as opposed to being inferior) will benefit both men and women
Ah, I see what you're saying: feminism influences men's rights passively through advocating for women's rights, whereas egalitarianism takes a more active approach for complete equality and opportunity.

>>8588509
This
As a woman, I don't want to associate myself with the militant feminists and I think that if you really are fighting for equal rights you need a name that implies it, not 'this is all about women, but men can participate too lol :)'

Also I'm sick of angry cunts telling me what I should and shouldn't call myself and saying 'well if ur not a feminist ur a bigot'. I'll call myself whatever I like and you can fuck right off, as the world isn't black and white and fighting for equal rights is not a with-us-or-against-us kind of scheme.

>>8588509
>but these views are becoming mainstream and are being brought up as common, even acceptable views in a lot of mainstream media

I don't agree with that statement, sorry.
I have not seen anything in mainstream media about putting body fluids into edibles to feel empowered, killing any kind of gender in all seriousness to make the world a better place, or giving all women the power. We'll have to agree to disagree.

>>8588529
People really don't care as much as you think they do about what you label yourself as. Just don't make retarded statements about feminism being worthless, because it hasn't been and it isn't now even if you think western online media about it is retarded.

>>8588529
>friend is turned down from University because he's a man
>thanks affirmative action!
You shouldn't have to claim you're transgender just to get into the program you want.

>>8588509
As a feminist, I've no clue what sort of mainstream media you watch, and I'm as anti-militant feminists as you are

The only thing I can think of is that popular 'radfem' instagram account that was showing a photo of some pancakes that were 'made' from menstrual blood, along with a recipe. The account was a troll, and the photo could be found by typing 'red pancake' into google images.

>>8588297
(s)he just stated that there are still a lot of inadequacies in 3rd world countries, but 3rd wave feminism ignores them completely, and that's why he wants it to go and stay go.

You really think tumblr gives a shit about women being sentenced to be raped in India? Protip: they don't. It may be buzzed about four a week, but then they'll basically just use it to say, much like you just did, that "the Patriarchy" and "Rape Culture" are alive and well in the first world, and how dare people criticize them for being a bunch of petulant, egotistical perpetual-victim narcissists.

They don't care about actual women rights violations, because it doesn't actually affect them. If they address it at all, it'll only be to give proxy credence to their campaign against Lara Croft not being a flat 300 pound PoC.

In short he agrees with you, that shit is important to stop, and "feminists" aren't doing their fucking job.

>>8588588
>third wave feminism ignores inadequacies in third world countries

Just because you only pay attention to radical tumblr and twitter accounts doesn't mean other feminists aren't doing work in the middle east and India to protect women. Or for that matter, that feminism isn't picking up as a movement in those countries among the women themselves.

All you seem to care about is tumblr. Why don't you go back to it and leave the actual work and opinions for adults who really care?
>because implying you've done anything as an "egalitarian" to help anyone or else we know you'd be talking about your philanthropy there too

>>8588588
>You're only allowed to be an activist if you're campaigning against x, y, and z
>You're only allowed to be an activist if you're campaigning against everything wrong with the world

Nice logic there. There's plenty of problems over here too to fix, and spitting shit about how you aren't "allowed" to be a feminist unless you're helping the situation in other countries "because they have it worse" is stupid as hell. That's like saying you aren't allowed to donate to charity unless you're also donating to the one that is for the "best" cause because how dare you waste your money otherwise.

>>8587975
Are you me :'( except I don't have a guy getting in my way. Just stress and hunger

> have an amazing bf, supportive and sweet
> I show him lolita, he likes it, tell me I look cute in it
> his job pays well, mine pays alright. Never allowed myself too much brand before
> IW happy packs, he encourges me to buy one, even offers help with payment
> last month he proposed
> I can be a loli bride!
> start thinking of wedding stuff for the first time ever
> tell him I might get a loli wedding dress
> "but won't you need another dress to dance in? Just get another one"
> holycrap.jpg
> start looking for a dress, most are too ott or too simple for my taste
> liked a few, don't think I'll be able to find them, most of them are kinda old
> show my mom one, "anon, wouldn't you like a more traditional dress?"
> tries to convince me to go for a regular, boring long dress
> or the complete opposite, chack ebay for cheap dress.

Feels kinda sad. At least my fiance is the sweetest... Still looking for the right dress though.

>>8588236
Did you get a refund anon? I'm going to open a paypal claim otherwise.