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2023-11: Warosu is now out of extended maintenance.

/cgl/ - Cosplay & EGL


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8544520 No.8544520 [Reply] [Original]

Old one on autosage. >>8495057

Discuss comms. Don't single people out or we'll get deleted.

Can I get some opinions on this scenario? A new girl joined the comm in the last year, and since her joining she's already begun stirring up drama and starting fights with established members. Recently she started accusing random people in the comm of posting her and others on cgl/BtB even when their typing style is completely different from the posts in question, assuming these people would do it in the first place (they wouldn't). How do you handle someone who seems like they're gonna cause issues with people but who hasn't really done anything except rub people the wrong way yet? How2protect comm from dramamongers.

>> No.8544525

I feel like the obvious solution would be to ignore her and her posts, but I'd understand if that's hard to communicate to everyone in the comm but her. I guess I'd ask the mid to contact her directly and be explicit in which of her behaviors are pissing people off so she knows not to do it again. If she keeps doing it, kick her

>> No.8544530

Honestly when it comes to shit stirers the best thing to do is to isolate them from the rest of the community. The last ones we had in my comm we just kind of ignored them and they went away on their own. Honestly that's so tacky to do, call people out on the comm page for posting you on /cgl/ or btb. Those two entities need to be completely separate from all comm related things and the mods really should squashing that.

>> No.8544531

>>8544520
We have one of those, she threatened to post a seller to cgl because she thought they misrepresent a dress she bought. The seller didn't though, she just seems drama hungry. She thinks she knows who starts shit within our comm too. She said she knows because all they do is glare at everyone and not really talk part in conversation, when really that memeber is just very shy and they keep their distance. She needs to chill just a little. From what I know, she just got into Lolita, and she seems to think she's not getting the full experience unless she starts drama.

>> No.8544547

>>8544520
If she's being posted in BtB then it probably is someone within the comm, just not necessarily who she is accusing.

>> No.8544556

>>8544547
She might also be posting herself to stir up drama.

>> No.8544559

>>8544531
are you talking about someone who was selling the BTSSB dress?

>> No.8544561

>>8544531
Oh man...
I know who you're talking about. She's a friend of mine and is new to the fashion. We just need to give her time to chill. I didn't necessarily start drama when I was new but I looked up older stuff from our comm to see what happened. I'm sure her dramamonger phase will pass soon enough.

>> No.8544571

>>8544561
>>8544559
Friend still here

it was the infanta version of BTSSB's snow white op, "Claudia" I think it's called maybe????

>> No.8544651

>>8544520

Our comm needs some help.
Small, and two girls seem to hate each other pretty bad. Old lolita hates Young lolita because the latter does not understand X- style and considers it wrong. Young lolita does not keep her opinions for herself, and even has given them to interviewers.
Old lolita is in rage everytime this happens, and you can see she is close to losing it badly. She also has personal dramu that makes it worse for her.

Not wanting to get in the middle, but things get very heated up during meets, and new members get scared af.
Both Young and old lolita talk shit to each other in their faces, in front of others or hidden.

>> No.8544853
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8544853

This girl in my comm really annoy me to no end, she posts this shit all the time...

>> No.8544865

>>8544531
That's actually exactly who I mean, I just didn't want to stir the pot by being too specific.
>>8544561
I know she's your friend and you brought her into the comm but please don't feel responsible if she messes up and gets flak for it, it's not at all a reflection of you. Everyone afaik likes you, it's just difficult to gauge your friend because she seems really nice but then she'll say some pretty inflammatory things. I ate up drama when I first got into lolita too but I quickly wised up to the fact that things I said and did to people would follow me for a while, and still do to some extent. I hope she also realizes soon that some things should either be kept to herself (like her theories on who is posting people) or simply let go. She can still turn this around, I'm sure of it, but she has to come to the realization that she's only hurting herself when she starts throwing words like "scammer" and "secret poster" around without knowing anyone.

>> No.8544905

>>8544531
>She thinks she knows who starts shit within our comm too.
average "Hi, X" seagull, in other words.

so if you all recognize her she is probably going to read this. hopefully she will come to her senses and relax.

>> No.8544960

I wish Daniela wasn't Mexico's kawaii ambassador, the girl is nice but all the big meets are hosted where she lives and that's really far away from me, why can't she host meets in Mexico City? It's way nicer than where she lives...

>> No.8545026

I saw someone ask but I feel like this would be a better place to ask this. How do your comms feel about CGL? Some comms have bans on them and others don't.

>> No.8545057

>>8544853
she has a punchable face

>> No.8545058

>>8545026
Mine is fine with it. Lots of people come here openly, and I personally think it fosters accountability. People are less likely to talk shit when we all know about it.

>> No.8545085

>>8545058
Mind if I ask what comm? With mine it feels the same as yours but other times it feels like people really do have a problem with it. No one can make up their mind it seems..

>> No.8545178

In one of the two comms in my area, we have a problem with newbies (and a few other not-so-newbies) making posts on the comm page that are akin to personal blog posts (like "OMG when will my new dress get here?! I'm so excited!" "Look at my new nose piercing!" etc) all the time and it's driving me crazy. It's always the same handful of people, and the mods haven't done anything about it.

I understand the newbies' excitement over the fashion and being in a community of people with the same interests, but I wish that they would either try to open these topics up for more generalized discussion (like instead of just posting "Look at what my boyfriend bought me!", posting "Look at what my boyfriend bought me! What does your SO think of j-fashion? or What are some cool unexpected j-fashion gifts you've received from a friend or family member?") or just not post these things at all.

I've talked to a few other girls in my comm about it, and they also really hate all the personal posts. Is there anyway I could approach a mod about maybe adding some posting guidelines or restrictions to prevent these kinds of posts without sounding like a dick? The head mod seems to almost encourage this incessant posting, so I'm worried she'll brush me off or think I'm being insensitive. I have nothing against the girls who insist on making these posts, but our comm page just looks more and more like a personal blog for these girls as the months go by and it's gone too far, I think.

>> No.8545277

>>8545026
>>8545058
I agree, we are pretty open about coming on here, and I think it means people know they'll be watched if they try and start shit.

>> No.8545298

>>8545277
Bans do nothing as they come here anyways to talk shit and derail threads and then hide behind the fact their comm has a ban on cgl.

>> No.8545322

>>8544960
What are you talking about? You guys have big meets there (not exactly in mexico city but near), we barely have any meets here.
And do you really need the kawaii ambassador to host a meet? Make your own with your comm.

>> No.8545346

>>8545277
Isn't it possible for someone to ruin someone by pretending to be someone else on cgl thogh? Let's say two people know specific info and one decides to pose as the other? I feel the same as you anons about accountability but I feel like its entirely possible for something like above to happen. But then again maybe I'm overestimating the lengths someone will go to shit stir.

>> No.8545347

>>8545026

Mines post here, but the older members lurk while the newer ones post out the ass.

>> No.8545348

>>8545026
that sounds really authoritarian. It's a fashion club, who are they to tell you what you can and can't do outside of it?

>> No.8545392

>>8545026
This question has been asked so many times. Comms differ in their treatment of cgl, so if you're new, just watch other people, see if anyone brings it up, and notice how others react to it. I personally find it's better to err on the side of caution and not mention you post on cgl, even if other people bring it up, until you know the other comm members pretty well and know for a fact people won't judge you/suspect you of being a drama-monger.

>> No.8545415

>>8545346
I think that would be a case of people within the comm knowing the comm well enough to decide who would actually come here to shit stir, and who wouldn't

>> No.8545554

>>8544865
I gotcha, I just can't help thinking people are judging me but I'll relax alittle. We may be seeing less of her anyway which will make my anxiety go down. She always asks me fore rides but never pays for an ounce of gas even after I ask her to pay alittle since gas isn't cheap. I can't keep driving to pick her up all the time when she treats me like a free ride.

>> No.8545559

>>8545026
Why do comms ban /cgl/? How will anyone find out that you browse unless they also do?
I think online-shit-stirring is a valid enough reason to ban someone
>>8545347
This. I see people from my comm post and either identify themselves by selfposting or writing in a really identifying way. And a lot of the times it's really cringey, like trying to have the last word in an argument or posting unsolicited selfies. I haven't been wearing lolita for too long, but I've obviously been on 4chan and /cgl/ for longer than some of the comm's oldfags.
I think a lot of girls only come to 4chan for /cgl/ for lolita, and there's no shame in that. This is my homeboard too. But god damn, lurk moar.
Also
>CGL
why

>> No.8545577

>>8545559
Phone corrected it to that and I didn't notice/think it was a big deal, sorry.

>> No.8545760

>>8545322
Sure we have plenty of meets in local comms but the ones with all the cool guests are usually in the north. I would love to host big meets with brand guest but I wouldn't even know where to start, I don't have any experience with that, and the few girls I know that could actually put something together prefer to go to the fashion shows in the US, so there aren't many options.

>> No.8545775

>>8545760
You should try asking Daniela! I'm sure she would be happy to help and give tips or something. Sometimes she is very busy but I believe she can help you.

>> No.8545824

>>8545026
We have no issues with it. A good deal of our more active members post here as well as self-post. A number of us lurk. All the mods are either lurkers or posters. Namely, this is the most active place to discuss things in a laid-back manner without some of the silliness that happens on facebook. But if we see anyone starting trouble, we do our best to try to handle it. We've caught our worst shit-stirrer in the past on here though. Since then we've had few issues.

>>8545178
We have this problem. Generally, if we see someone making too many of these kinds of posts, we ask them to open up the discussion for others in the way you suggested. But sometimes some of it gets missed if all the mods are busy. There shouldn't be any harm in letting a mod know how you feel about it, especially if it's a repeat offender.

>> No.8545847
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8545847

She is literally posting on every CA comm page about some dumb meet that fell through. She tried to push hosting responsibilities on to someone before "taking it over".

>> No.8545850
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8545850

I've been part of my comm for nearly four years, and in the past year or so I've gotten to know the main group. Last month I heard some mad fucking drama brewing about one of the mods... but I don't want to warn her and involve myself.

I'm going to feel like shit when it goes down though. ;_; Sorry girl.

>> No.8545864

>>8544651
Is this....... In the north?

>> No.8545950

I've visited two different comms who had opposite views. The mod of the first comm refuses to go on any site other than Facebook because she says they all promote cyberbullying and that 4chan is for racist pedophiles and she would kick anyone out who browsed it. The second comm is really open about it (to my relief) and are even bigger shitposters than I am, which makes meets very laid back and enjoyable.

>> No.8545964

>>8545554
That's ultra shitty, especially since she's been asked directly to contribute. I would definitely at least put your foot down on that right now, she needs to start ponying up for gas or find another ride, because she's dropping a lot of money on Lolita so it's not like she doesn't have it.

>> No.8545986 [DELETED] 

>>8545847
angel buckley is so retarded and i'm so glad she doesn't live anywhere near me. not sure how she's made it this far in life

>> No.8545989

>>8545847
I wish she would just gtfo. Before this she was posting all over about her dream dresses. Rare, expensive dresses that barely fit normal sized girls. There's no way she has under an 88cm bust. I think she's just delusional at this point.

>> No.8545993

My comm is so segregated. The community name is like an umbrella term really, and there's all these small comms under it. Our mod is only interested in doing whatever she wants whenever she wants. She has a small group of loyal followers, but because she's our mod, her meets end up having the most attendees. A few of us host our own meets, and we invite the whole comm. However neither her or her followers attend. Our mod said it was fine to have multiple meet ups on our own. But she seems so salt-chan about it...going as far as to say we have "too many" meets already..
Then we have some new up and coming itas who refuse to adhere to the rules of lolita. No petticoat, no head accessories, bad color matching, cat ears, no blouse...it's awful.

I can't wait to move away from this shitty comm to a more closer knit one.

>> No.8546018

>>8544571
Those dresses look completely different. The only common elements are the snow white theme and the rose clip.
Design, colors, and fabrics are all different.

>> No.8546063
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8546063

>>8546018
The Infanta Snow White dress was based on the Baby one. It came out right after the Baby one sold out, it's very similar in colors and motif, and there is not an obvious reference. It's a well known fact that Infanta was trying to capture the market of people who couldn't afford, or missed out on Claudia.

>> No.8546064

>>8545346
Actually, we have someone kind of doing that right now. Someone was trying to stir shit about our comm, and the person doing it is taking steps to move suspicion away from herself and letting us speculate who it is, but I know it's her. I hope every time it gets brought up she sweats, because I know it's her.

So, I guess my point is, like >>8545415 said, it's usually very easy to figure these things out.

>>8545950
This is the big point of contention for me here- people who want to ban 4ch just think it's a cesspool of Dark Siders, whereas those who are chill about it tend to have a more chill comm. Lolita is not church, people, and cgl is not goat sacrifice.

>> No.8546079

>>8546063
I kinda like the Infanta one better ins some ways.

>> No.8546090

>>8546063
The colours are actually a lot different in person. The Baby ones are both ivory. The Infanta one is a soft yellow. Not cream, but actual yellow. The photo softens the colour a lot, but a friend of mine sold hers immediately because it wasn't the shade she thought it would be.

>> No.8546313

>>8545850
What comm? Or is it too small a comm to say?

>> No.8546391

>>8546064
What comm? There's someone like this in mine, too.

>> No.8546511

Sometimes I wonder if my comm members actually don't like me. I've had cgl and btb shit posted about me before, but a lot of it just sounded like salty vendetta-chan bullshit. I like to think that I'm one of the better coordinators, and I take a LOT of time into how I look for meets and outings. I'm also active online like rufflechat, lolita updates, and I post my coords on CoF for concrit. I feel like a lot of my comm members frown upon that and see it as me trying to be a fame-chan but in all honesty it's so that I can grow and get better. Sigh. All they want to do is sit around and beg for asspats from one another. "Boohoo, no one likes my coord online," "I'm so sad someone posted one mean thing about me on cgl." I have been BLASTED, get over it. I feel like my comm wants to live in a protective bubble where it's them vs the world. No outsiders allowed!

Get me the fuck out of here!

>> No.8546586

>>8546511
what
They might actually not like you, especially if you get a lot of likes on CoF, etc. It sounds like even if your negative attention is matched to the positive, at least it's more than they've gotten.
You just kind of have to live with your comm. No one ever said they had to be your best friends. Why not try connecting to lolitas in online communities more? Or putting in more time with your normalfag friends?

>> No.8546622
File: 269 KB, 676x1200, http%3A%2F%2F41.media.tumblr.com%2Fc0f9924566a1b2b9cef6879e4e098fda%2Ftumblr_nhzk26NnRS1qdvatvo1_1280.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
8546622

>>8544853
AHAHA THATS ME

im honestly not even annoyed i just can't beleive someone posted me here

>> No.8546625

>>8546586
Ok I'm glad I'm not just being a crazy paranoid bitch. I always get more likes on my coords, but I try to be supportive and I always like and compliment theirs.
You're right, we don't all have to be bffs. I have like 2 friends in the comm and 1 frenemy who I feel like just pretends to be my friend but blasted me on cgl (private information leaked only they knew about but still can't prove). I have a lot of good online lolita friends though! It's just kind of sad to go to a meet and feel like I'm sitting with Judas...and the Romans lol. So lately I've just been wearing lolita independently (which apparently pisses them off too cause someone wrote a status about how they hate how some people are so "hungry for efame" in lolita *ahem * subtle way at jabbing at me?)
If I somehow magically become an Internet sensation, it'll be because of them lol.

>> No.8546659

With us it really depends on the circle, some are super open and others look down upon it because they think it is only about posting itas.

>> No.8546685

Non-english speaking comm, most people are not comfortable enough with english to browse a place with so much slang, it gets easily overwhelming. I browse here with my lolita bestie, and an other girl is a gull (she referenced drama regarding a outsider when they started to plan their visit here and we discussed the eventuality of ditching the meet together). I know some e-famous/e-fame craving girls lurk here and discreet self-post yet never talk about the place. They have too much information about too many things outside the national comm to not lurk here, it's pretty obvious.
You can really see the level of dressing up between a gull and a non-english speaking lolita here. Standards are definitely not the same.

>> No.8546704

>>8546685
>You can really see the level of dressing up between a gull and a non-english speaking lolita here
You mean the local comm is better or worse? Sounds like worse to me.
Are you in the Mexican comm? Brazil? Spain?

>> No.8546736

>>8546622
To answer your question:
Childrens music is great, but adults don't like to listen to that kind of subject matter. I really like it, not because I am pervy but because it is fun and doesn't make me feel immature to listen to - also the entendres are great and go right over kids heads.
This is not a new thing, and Dolly Style is MUCH more discreet about it than other groups.
Toy Box, Bambi, and aqua are a few I can think of off the top of my head.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qlti8Q-gU-Q
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9vIHe_AjRa4
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IlDjEd8gAkI
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZyhrYis509A

>> No.8546743

>>8546736
I actually liked Aqua when they started making more serious music. Iirc they disbanded soon after that, so eh.

>> No.8546747

>>8546743
>disbanded soon after that
Nah, they were just on tour!

>> No.8546764

>>8546747
It was a reunion actually

But here's a fun excerpt from their wiki page
>On December 2000, Mattel filed a lawsuit against the group's record label Mattel v. MCA Records Mattel, Inc. v. MCA Records, 296 F.3d 894 9th Cir. 2002, claiming that "Barbie Girl" had damaged the reputation of the Barbie brand.
>Judge Alex Kozinski writing for the United States Court of Appeals for the Ninth Circuit upheld the district court finding the use of Mattel's trademark in "Barbie Girl" fell within the noncommercial use exemption to the Federalism Trademark Dilution Act.
>Judge Kozinski concluded his opinion by writing, "The parties are advised to chill."

>> No.8546767

>>8546736
I guess i can get that! Just really caught me off guard with some of the innuendos in their songs

>> No.8546775

>>8546625
If you're the one who "was put on blast" when it was really a one line post in a con thread, you look really thirsty for efame by how butthurt you get at minor online drama that majority of the comm doesn't care about.

>> No.8546778

>>8546704
I think this applies too some of Europe too. I've seen girls in small comms with minimal English skills that have incredibly poor taste.

>> No.8546788

>>8546778
Spain is in Europe

>> No.8546798

>>8546788
I meant to write Central Europe instead of some of Europe but I also didn't read Spain.

>> No.8546827

>>8545026
Pretty much all the older lolitas lurk here or are at least plat with it while most of the younger/newer girls think 4chan is evil incarnate and only pedo rapist elitist meanie heads would ever post here. No official ban, but explicitly bringing it up at a meet is pretty faux pas. Nobody really wants to listen to a spiel about the evolz of /cgl/ when we're having tea.

>> No.8546829

>>8545346
Didn't this happen with the stolen Iron Gate fiasco?

>> No.8547115

>>8544520
Are there any comms in the Wisconsin-Illinois area worth joining? I've had friends in the big-city comms that eventually leave them because of drama and stuff. But everyone in the midwest is so normie, I'm desperate to meet anybody interested in jfash!!

>> No.8547141

>>8546829
With charms? I couldn't tell you

>> No.8547211

>>8547115
Drama? There hasn't been any drama in the big city comms for a while. Chicago has been drama free for a while and will remain so now that a certain lolcow will not be allowed back in. Milwaukee is another good comm to join too. They sometimes travel down to Chicago for bigger meetups.

>> No.8547231

>>8546704
My guess would be that the gulls dress better. Not because they are gulls, but because they're comfortable browsing a site that isn't their first language. The girls who aren't won't be exposed to the same range of trends or resources, and therefore won't really change/grow, beyond what they learn from one another.

I've noticed this even within English-speaking comms. The girls who are too gunshy of Japanese or Chinese language sites tend to never really get beyond simple, basic coords that fit the lolita silhouette. They don't ever seem to develop their own "style" within that. If it makes sense? We have one girl who has been borderline ita for years, only buys from swap meets/locals, and is really sweet, but a bit clueless.

>> No.8547250

Just moved to an area squarely between Baltimore and DC. How are those comms currently? Is there any benefit to frequenting one over the other? Or does it matter?

>> No.8547286

>>8547115
It depends on where you live. Milwaukee has a scheduled mod planned meetup each month, so there's always good turnout there. Everyone is pretty nice and the age range is high school to twenties college students (majority) with a few older people. There's a few habitual itas that show up but most of the comm is half brand, half indie. Appleton has a few lolitas if you live in northern Wisconsin for some reason.

Chicago has some really nicely dressed lolitas that pop up in the CoF thread, they have meetups from downtown to Wheaton. I think there's less itas than usual right now? They have a higher amount of lolitas with well paying jobs to host fancy tea meets and dress up to the occasion in brand. A majority are college students (a few well dressed Chinese international students) or into their late twenties/thirties with a small amount of high schoolers. Anyways, the megameet is coming up in 2 weeks in Chinatown park area with an indoor venue.

>> No.8547292

>>8547250
>squarely between Baltimore and DC
I feel like you live in my town then. Literally right in between both. I'm not in a comm but both seem equally as bad around here. Or at least I get the whole ita vibe from their pages.

>> No.8547622

>>8546775
No con threads that I know about. Only CoF and once in the ita thread.

>> No.8547642

>>8546625
>talks about likes of CoF like they're gold stars from teacher
>"better coordinated"
Claire-chan, is that you? Butt hurt ne? Sugoi salty desu. It's not that we don't like you cause you're a "better dresser," it's cause you're a brand whore that talks shit! Jfc. Any idiot can wear head to toe brand and get SUPER AWESOME LIKES ON COF kek. No one wants to hear about your fucking unboxing vidos and how much burando your daddy bought you. Gtfo our comm and go start your own!

>> No.8547657

My comm is pretty massive, and we have a twin meet coming up.
There are polls to vote for dresses to twin with and shit and I'm a poorfag.
One of the top dresses is one that I have a replica of from taobao, I don't have any of the others.
Should I wear it?

>> No.8547659

>>8547657
No, bad idea

>> No.8547664

>>8547642
You sound jelly as fuck.

>> No.8547750

>>8545026
My comm think that everyone that speaks english well enough to post here is an elitist bitch who wants to cause drama.

My local comm is awesome. The meets are pretty good and always in cute cafes. There's a little bit of drama from time to time but most because of some otaku girls that get into the fb groups to stir shit up or some girls from other states that always want to start a fight for nothing relevant.

>> No.8547776

>>8546704
>>8546778
>>8547231
EU yeah, also do I sound spanish ?
And yes, english-speaking gals usually dress better here. Usually because they're grown up with more money to spend, and because they are more linked to the international community thus have higher standards. I do believe that they're mostly comfortable with reading/writing english though, because a lot of them are not that interested in meeting foreigners. I never say no to a bit of practice, even if it's exhausting.
Some people consider it tasteless to admit browsing here, I honestly don't care and the majority don't even know it exist or sees it as a cess-pool of violence. It's ok.

>> No.8547944

>>8547211
>>8547115
Seconding MKE, they have less drama and are smaller than Chicago but have the best midwest dressers outside of here, imo. Nice girls, too.

>> No.8548892

Why is the Melb comm having all these themed meets? I am glad we are getting more meets than last year but having every single meet themed is stressful, I know it is only optional but still.

>> No.8549119

>>8547622
Never mind your story just fits someone else's description except her "I just got blasted" was someone calling her out on one of those drama con the threads.

>> No.8549134

>>8548892
What are you on about? No meets have been themed meets this year?

>> No.8549138

>>8549134
>>8548892
Ahh, wait. I see what you mean. My bad, I'm always too lazy to read the description.

>> No.8549174

I need some advice.
My comm is having a swap meet this weekend and there's this girl that's coming who, I'm not going to mince word, is fat and likes to squeeze into dresses way to small for her. She looks like she should be wearing a bodyline 4L but squeezes herself into a medium. I'm worried she'll try to buy my dresses even though they won't fit her and I don't want to sell to her. What should I do if she tries to buy them from me?

>> No.8549179

>>8549174
Say what "good" clothing salespeople say.

I will not sell something to someone that I think will look bad on them. It is bad for my reputation and bad for them. May I suggest ______?

>> No.8549305

>>8547657
a few girls wore replicas to our last twin meet and it looked horrible. Every little badly executed detail is going to look even worse when you're walking around with someone wearing the same dress but the 'real' one all day.

>> No.8549327

>>8547250
>>8547250
Most people frequent both, there's no reason not to be members of each if you're between. Definitely not the best dressed comms but everyone is nice and we have fun! There's a solid amount of girls who dress decently and some who dress really well. Lots of itas tho if that bothers you.

>> No.8549341

>>8547286
>>8547944
>>8547211

thanks so much gulls! that's great advice. I'm in southern WI so Chicago and mke wouldn't be too much of a trip for me.

>if you live in northern Wisconsin for some reason
>for some reason

kek

>> No.8549366
File: 282 KB, 400x567, Namnlös.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
8549366

The Stockholm community is falling apart with all this hate on mint, shes so sweet and good at coordination/pretty so the hate makes no sense.
Mint is a key part of our comm so I don't understand why people would hate her so much! It just damages the comm

>> No.8549381

>>8548892
We've rarely had themed meets in the past few years other than Easter and halloween so I think people are excited about them. Why don't you make one that isn't themed?

>> No.8549587

>>8544520
Someone should make a list of comms in the US based on relevance and drama. And another for best dressed to worst.

>> No.8549608

>>8545026
People in my comm either are openly against it or openly browse it. Afaik the comm gulls use CGL to self post in appropriate threads, get coord help, or lurk in general. An unspoken rule is that people who do browse CGL don't post others from the comm. It keeps the drama that's leaked outside the comm - that is, whenever the comm does get drama in general - very minimal.

>> No.8549619

>>8549587
I second this

>> No.8549620

>>8549366
I can see why people dislike her, but some people are ridiculously petty and hateful about her. It's fine to not like somebody, but jesus christ some of the girls are bitches sometimes. I feel sorry for mint, it seems like people don't get that she actually does not mean any harm, she just has a really severe case of aspies.

>> No.8549648

>>8549327
Thanks for the reply. Itas only bother me if they have shit attitudes and expect asspats for their coords. If they are chill girls and not totally delusional, it's fine. Cringey, weeby behavior in public bothers me more than bad dressers ever could. Is there a lot of that?

>> No.8549650

I may be going to Pittsburgh next spring, and if so, there's a good chance that I'll have time to go to a lolita meetup. Would it be worth it to reach out to their comm, especially with the whole stigma revolving around Kate? Or should I go lone lolita for the trip?

>> No.8549776

>>8549650
It is wise to meet new lolita friends in another city. Don't worry about Kate. Just have a fun time visiting a new Comm.

>> No.8549900

>>8546063
I really liked the infanta dress. It was beautiful, but I sold it because it was gimmicky to me.

>> No.8549911

>>8549648
Different anon, but I never had a problem with anyone in the community. I can't really compare the community to other areas, but it really depends on the meet up with how fancy/nice people dress up.

>> No.8550027

>>8549587
I support this. Add a warning for comms that have sub ita comms

>> No.8550049

>>8549174
Why does it matter? You're getting money out of it and it's not like you're buying it back. Having her buy your dress versus no one sounds like a clear choice

>> No.8550056

Any info on the Dallas comm? Is there one?

>> No.8550107

>>8549174
fat girl dollars are just as good as thin girl dollars. If you're worried about what's happening to the clothes after you sell them, maybe you're still attached to it or not completely ready to sell? I'd be worried if she was wanting to try stuff on and not buying though since that could cause damage. Otherwise, who cares?

>> No.8550207

Our comm is made up of a shit ton of smaller clicks. It's really easy to gauge where you stand by the third meetup. We have the elite, the itas, the cosplayers, the socially inept, the perverts, and a few who just stand around not really sure where to go. The elitist group is holier than thou for sure. They constantly have private meet ups on the same day comm meet ups are planned. They fart glitter and perfection. You don't join the elitists, you are chosen. The perverts are fun, mostly because you can relax and it doesn't require much self editing. They are pretty cool with what ever you say or do. Unfortunately, hanging around you might pick up a stalker. Namely one girl who is a fairly recent edition. This leaves the socially inept. Hanging out with them is ok. They are definitely the nicest sub group. They are not really inappropriate, but mostly a group of kids with extreme social anxiety disorders and triggers. I'm not really sure where I stand here. Ina way, I like all of them and like that I can kind of pick a group by my mood of the day. (Minus the elite....no ones allowed in them thar hills). Does this describe the basic mix of most Lolita coms? I don't feel like this could be unique.

>> No.8551211

>>8550207
Sounds very similar to my comm. I would say it's probably true for most comms that are big enough to have cliques.

>> No.8551227

>>8549366
i agree tbh shes really cute and pretty i love her being in our comm!

her coordinates are also great, shes well liked on tumblr and she seems rich, so i think the hates all jealousy

>> No.8551531

Poking my head in here again. We're still on for Saturday, I've gotten 2 email RSVPs, reply to this post if you're not one of them lol

>> No.8551559

>>8549648
Not that I've noticed? That sort of thins bothers me too, so I probably would have noticed. Everyone is very nice and fun. A lot of people have weeby interests but I don't and I'm always able to have conversations about other things.

>> No.8551618

>>8550107
>she was wanting to try stuff on and not buying though
That has happened to me before. Bitch popped the bust seams cramming into it, and then didn't buy the dress.

>> No.8551690

>>8551618
I was once at a BtSSB store, and I noticed a bigger girl was trying to fit in a dress and was making a shopgirl help. The shopgirl tried to zip up the dress, and seeing that it was not going to fit, understandably told the girl she didn't think she'd be able to zip it up. The shopper refused to give up and kept telling the shopgirl to keep trying. It was a really awkward situation. The shopper finally gave up once the shopgirl said the shopper would have to buy the dress if it got damaged.

>> No.8551759

>>8549587
I'd totally do this but I'm not even familiar with any of the southern state comms.

>> No.8551797

>>8549587
Maybe just a tiered ranking. Kinda hard to rank which one is better dressed when you get to shit comms like Kansas vs. Nebraska.

>> No.8551799

>>8551759
Do southern places besides NOLA, Atlanta, and Florida even have their own comms? Bet they are full of itas if they do.

>> No.8551801

>>8549174
I don't see the problem. Money is money even if it is too small on her. Dont bring the dress and sell it online if you really don't want to sell to her

>> No.8551823

>>8551759
Maybe it could be put together by a few people, since I doubt one person is going to have good knowledge of all the US comms.

>> No.8551848

About a dozen new members joined our comm this year. A few of them are socially inept or downright mentally challenged. We have no idea how to deal with them anymore. One girl is non verbal at meetups and mentioned on FB that she's not allowed to order online or go anywhere without a phone. I wonder if we should get a hold of her guardian in case of emergency.

>> No.8551872

>>8551848
>non verbal at meets

why attend? what's the point if you're not going to talk to anyone?

i feel the same way about people who come to meets and spend the entire time on their phones, or in a corner ignoring people. it's a social outing. If you can't be social, don't go on the outing, ffs

>> No.8551911

>tfw a girl in your comm is being a sandyvag-chan all over FB and /cgl/
>want to make a secret about her being full of shit
>realize that it would probably delight her that someone cared enough to make a secret about her
>can already image the "fuck the haters! I'm totally in the right! they'e just jelly! I don't give a shit! I will find you and kill you!" post she'd make
I'm so mad. She's reigned it in a little, but now she thinks she's hot shit because she's been into the fashion for a little more than a year. She'd be so cute if she would just stop being a cunt.

>> No.8551917

>>8551911
i feel like, with /cgl/ as the scapegoat of lolita, having a "salty seagull" phase is just as much a rite of passage as having an ita phase.

some people grow out of it, many get stuck there, and nobody's happy.

>> No.8551940

Is there any feedback from the Jacksonville FL comm? I'm thinking about moving there and I've heard they're all pretty nice.

>> No.8551967

>>8551872
Different anon in the same comm. I think she really wants to make friends. She kept bumping up old posts on Facebook with sticker comments to keep herself relevant and tries to organize meetups that no one will ever attend.

>> No.8552108

>>8551799
I've been to a few of the smaller southern comms, and they're actually surprisingly ita-free. I've noticed that they don't announce their presence and tend to make their groups private, which is probably really helpful.

>also I've been to cons with members of southern comms and they've flat out lied to itas about whether or not certain states have Facebook groups

>> No.8552140

>>8552108

lmao which comms?!

>> No.8552437

Are there any Indiana comms in the south?

>> No.8552498

My comm has Kate. And that's all I have to say about that.

>> No.8552525

>>8551797
I agree. Tiering would be a lot easier! I could probably make a default blank and lolitas could put themselves there.

>> No.8552546
File: 687 KB, 1280x720, lazy.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
8552546

I'm hosting a lolita meetup for the first time in a few years at a nice restaurant and every other comment is "I don't have any lolita can I wear something else"
I didn't realize the community had changed so much...

>> No.8552743
File: 104 KB, 669x960, IMG_20150813_195002.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
8552743

>>8549619
>>8550027
>>8551759
>>8551797
>>8552525

Here ya go. Bad execution but it gets the job done.

>> No.8552800
File: 106 KB, 692x960, IMG_20150813_200832.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
8552800

>>8552743
I just realized how low the mid is. I fix

>> No.8552821

>>8552743
Someone should take it upon themselves to do a 50 States comm review

>> No.8553128
File: 81 KB, 240x267, jjjjjjj.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
8553128

My comm is doing a themed halloween party and I'm pretty salty about it. Halloween is my favorite holiday and I just wanted to do my own cute halloween outfit. But now it's either I dont attend or dress up in a theme I don't particularly care about.

>> No.8553133

>>8553128
Suggest on the page that they change it.
That's pretty restricting.

>> No.8553135

I'm curious, fellow gulls, do you ever find yourself being salty af outside of CGL?

I just got salty with one of my friend's acquaintances who sold/believed in itworks! shit.
I had zero chill

>> No.8553147

>>8553135
It's probably just hormonal changes as you blossom into a brandwhoredom.
>iktf
>really irritable but don't want to lash out at friends or family
>ruin my own day by being really mad at everyone but pretending to feel normal
>get home exhausted and sad
>at least I have my dresses and cat

>> No.8553216

>>8553128
Ask them to make the theme optional?

>> No.8553219

>>8553133
>>8553216

Ugh I wish I could. Like theoretically I could, but I'm a beta fuck so I'll probably end up not saying anything. I'll just pray for next year and build up my halloween themed items.

>> No.8553220

>>8553135
I'm a cranky person to begin with, so I get extra salty when I'm tired, when the meetup is too long and so or so.

>> No.8553221

>>8553219
>How to Always Be Unhappy: The Post

>> No.8553226

>>8553220
You sound like you might just be kind of a bitch tho Anon.

>> No.8553231
File: 278 KB, 440x348, thumbs up.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
8553231

>>8553221

10/10 post holy shit lol

>> No.8553302

>>8553135
I'm seriously being really salty right now because of one of my comm members.

>> No.8553321

>>8553135
As far as I can tell, no. But then again I'm not very salty on here either. By comparison anyway.
When it comes to drama and shit I like knowing what's going on but not really taking part in it.

>> No.8553341

>>8553226
Well, I'm depressed which makes me super tired, so I kind of have an excuse. Plus I keep my salt to my friends. I just sound like an old cranky lady.

>> No.8553362

>>8552108
That's awesome

>> No.8553395

>move to new city where I know nobody, will be stuck here for at least a few years
>local comm is ita as fuck tumblr types with memes all over their fb walls, all young and edgy and fat
>actually scared to walk around in lolita in case one of them tries to make friends with me
I feel bad but they're the kind of people who are regular fare for the ita and cringe threads. I don't know how I'm going to live.

>> No.8554333
File: 415 KB, 500x479, tumblr_m5j8dwTOMr1qbgi86o1_500.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
8554333

>>8552108
This. The other southern comms like to be pretty low key. I think it's mostly because they've all seen the Atl drama that's gone down and would prefer to keep to themselves. They do exist and they're pretty active though. You just have to be in their comms to know what's going on.

>>8551799
I'm not sure why people assume this. Mississippi sure, but the rest of the southern comms are pretty well dressed.

>> No.8554600

>>8554333
Yep, I'm in a southern comm, and we hold several meetups a month sometimes. You're 100% correct about us being lowkey because of the craziness that is the ATL comm. No one wants that kind of attention.

>> No.8554843
File: 78 KB, 780x585, atleastimnotarobot.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
8554843

>>8550056
Metroplex lolita on Facebook. I'm considering joining but I don't even have a Facebook so I'd be starting from scratch and I think you have to have somewhat a lolita profile to join. I think. Anyways, there's like Lolita's of Texas on livejournal but I'm pretty sure it's kill.

>> No.8554868

>>8554843
We have a good three or four meets in September if you guys want to come. We're going back to crazy meet season once the heat dies down.

Some of us can do triple-digit frills but most of us prefer not to.

>> No.8554870

>>8554868
Sorry, I should also mention that if you don't have anything lolita relayed on your Facebook, just message one of the mods and they'll add you.

>> No.8554912

>>8554870
I'm very new so I probably wouldn't come to a meet until winter. I guess I'll join then, too.

>> No.8554922

>>8551911
we have two girls like this is my comm. One is so new and salty it hurts, the other has been in the fashion for too long and is just being salty to try and stay relevant, and its irritating to no end because she still rocks up to meets but has gotten too fat for her brand, so insists dressing tradgoth with japanese brands "still counts". Just give it up already.

>> No.8555005

>>8551531
We're going to have a lot of extra cookies if it's the 3 of us, lol.

>> No.8555007

How's the Ohio Comm? I'm starting school in a few weeks at Ohio State.

>> No.8555237

>>8555005
fewer people = more cookies for the gulls who arrive!

i am bringing sandwiches and sparkling drink in a small cooler. i got a few plates and cups also. gonna prepare for around 5 people unless notified of more RSVPers.

>> No.8555284

>>8555007
The comm as a whole is full of really nice people. The Cincinnati/ Columbus area got a sort of bad reputation for not being as well dressed, but there's been a lot of people coming out of the woodwork lately with pretty fabulous wardrobes (awesome plus-size girl with snakes, I'm looking at you). All in all, you're going to have a really good time. It's a really inviting comm, the mods don't put up with drama or crap and everyone is helpful. There are tons of meets, too.

>> No.8555528

Anyone have comm photos of the Rhine, köln or surrounding comm? Or any drama? I can't find much except for the Facebook groups which seems mostly like itas

>> No.8555637

Marylands ?

>> No.8555644

Is there a lolita community in New Zealand? I found livejournal but it has not been used in a long time.
Are there a lot of it'as? Drama?

>> No.8555670

>>8555644
The communities are mostly based around Facebook and the major cities (Auckland, Wellington, Christchurch)
Not too many itas or drama as far as I know of

>> No.8556360

>>8555644
check the Lolita Community Directory https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1evXegSoFbfEXn8o0joeA-KFvolNKPKllgvaYqNgvOiw/edit#gid=1

also if anyone has any groups that they want to add/update, email me at indie.anon@gmail.com so I can update it

>> No.8556601

>>8555637
Charm City Lolitas on FB

>> No.8556607

>>8547250
DC is very controlling; you can't make meets at the same time as any other meet, the mods are constantly marketing the one mods art, and the mods act like they are "in charge" a lot.

MD is a lot more laid back, but not as active.

If the meetup is run by someone well put together, they tend to get more well put together people at the meets simply because they tend to get more of their friends at the meet.

>> No.8556613
File: 197 KB, 448x480, obamatoast.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
8556613

>>8556360
Bless you anon for making this list!

>> No.8556633

>>8556607
>DC is very controlling; you can't make meets at the same time as any other meet.

This literally just happened yesterday. Although I did raise an eyebrow when it was announced. They did say it was okay to have a mini meet within a meet ( a splinter meet?) I used to never hear about our community on cgl, but for the past few months, we seem to keep popping up.

>> No.8556643

>>8556633
It's been a rule for a while. I think I was talking to a friend who said that at one point it had been proposed that DC and MD couldn't have competing meets either, but the MD comm decided against it?

>> No.8556675

>>8556643
Hmm. Then I must have missed that.
>one point it had been proposed that DC and MD couldn't have competing meets either.

That would be stupid. Granted we are closer than other lolita communities in distance, but the groups are still two seperate entities.

>> No.8556700

>>8556675
I think so too. I'm glad it's not a rule.

I really don't understand when comms say people can't make multiple meetups the same day, or how in some other comms, only the mods can make meets.

Aren't most lolita at least in high school? Surely people are old enough to navigate having multiple optional social options on the same day.

>> No.8556844

I moved to a large west coast USA comm from a midwest comm. Everyone is dressed really well, and are pretty nice, but it's so cliquey and I don't feel like I fit in at all. Either I'm just not good enough for the core clique, or they're not really interested in making new friends, I dunno.

It makes me miss my smaller midwest comm, even if there were always fringe itas at meetups, at least I felt like I was part of the core group there... But I'll just keep doing my best here, hopefully I'll make some friends.

>> No.8556848

>>8556844
I moved from the Midwest to the West Coast! I wasn't an actual lolita, I just liked looking at pictures online. It seemed cliquey to me as well, but I went and made friends anyways.

>> No.8556861

>>8556844
I just moved from west coast to different part of west coast. I will be your friend anon!

>> No.8556887

>>8556844
Were you from Missouri by any chance?

>> No.8556900
File: 20 KB, 400x300, 1435809388693.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
8556900

NYC seagull picnic was fun, let's do it again when the weather is cooler

>> No.8556901

Stupid question.

But as an adult Auts who tries to deal, what is the best way to enter a Lolita comm? I can never seem to find a happy balance between being super extroverted and overly introverted. I would love to make some acquaintances. Should I not really try until I get a much larger wardrobe, or would most well-dressed Lolitas be okay talking with someone still starting out?

>> No.8556915

>>8556901
You're alright with a smaller wardrobe as long as you're coording well with what you have and show that you're eager to improve. Everyone started somewhere, people are pretty understanding.

>> No.8556918

>>8551690
I thought you couldn't try on dresses at Baby? Or am I thinking of blouses

>> No.8556933

>>8551940
Very sweet, had a friend who lived up there but recently moved. Wish I could of gone to their meets before she moved.

>> No.8557055

>>8556900

yaaaasssssss. seagull picnics forever

>> No.8558750

>>8556900
>>8557055
"you should probably have some coffee" described all of us at that meet, lol

It was nice meeting you guys!

>> No.8559364

>>8557055
>>8558750
yes, next time perhaps there will be appropriate sleep for everyone beforehand!

i also still like the idea of a meet at the cat cafe. they have cat-shaped macarons, so yeah.

>> No.8559375

>>8549174
Oh shit I just realized this probably already past and it's besides the point. What did you end up doing?

I would've suggested saying that you're putting it up for display only or that it's been reserved by someone who needs you to hold onto it for a bit.

>> No.8559402

>>8555284
The Columbus area has gotten a lot better, and there are some fantastic dressers from that area. A good deal of us though don't put ourselves in the limelight or draw much attention to ourselves online. Anon from >>8555007, you'll have a good time. A number of us are gulls but we're pretty inclusive, laid back, and welcoming as a whole. We're a fun group.

>> No.8559766

>>8553135
are you me? I hate being a bitch so I usually keep my saltiness inside, but whenever I see people selling things like itworks, jamberry, etc., i just let loose. I think it's just how irritatingly persistent the salespeople are.

>> No.8562629

Okay, advice time. I'm not very involved in my comm, I know a couple of girls from it but I'm not even sure they're still attending their meets. I'm fairly new in Lolita, so my wardrobe is still small. My comm is organising a meet next month, it looks like it's going to be big as they've invited people from other cities to join. I really want to go but I'm not sure... from what I've seen on Facebook they're all older than me, around 26 (I'm 22, so I'm not exactly a baby), I don't know anyone and I'm pretty much a noob.

There's this other thing that worries me, as silly as it sounds... but since it's a picnic meet, how am I supposed to fit food, blanket, etc in my tiny Lolita bag? I don't think I own any Lolita bag big enough for that. So what do you guys do? Just bring a big bag for all that stuff even if it doesn't match your coord at all? (apart from your own purse)

>> No.8562647

>>8562629
For picnic/potluck type stuff I bring a big tote to stuff everything in and just keep my valuables in my purse. Once I get settled the tote ends up in a little heap somewhere so it's not like it's going to ruin my coord or anything.

>> No.8563462

>>8562629
Just bring a picnic basket? It's not like absolutely everything has to match. You can have a small purse that matches your coordinate for photos, but you're absolutely permitted to bring a picnic basket for picnic related things. Silly anon.

>> No.8563564

>>8562629
I think noobs fall into this idea that everything they do needs to match or else the coord is ruined. I think it's totally understandable, but also kind of laughable and just unnecessary/impossible once you take a look at it.

You can bring a matching a purse for your coord if you'd like, but just bring whatever size or type of bag you want to fit your food and blanket, trust me, *no one* is going to give a crap if you bring like, a roller suitcase that doesn't match your pink strawberry print dress or whatever. When something has to do practicality and usability, I think matchiness just goes out the window. People ask the same question with things like casts, medical braces, etc. There's some things where it just doesn't matter if it's kawaii or not because no one cares.

So just do whatever will be most convenient to you anon. Picnic basket is probably the ~cutest thing that could work but don't feel pressured to run out and buy a $50 basket the day before the meet either.

>> No.8563579

>>8562647
>>8563462
>>8563564

Thank you so much!! I'm fairly new to lolita, so I'm still in noob kingdom hahaha. I think I might give it a try and attend that meet. I have no idea how this comm is like so I'm pretty scared but oh well.

>> No.8563897

>>8556900
Pics!

>> No.8563922

>>8559402
Tbh from what I've seen the Columbus girls are better dressed then the Cleveland ones. That recent meetup at the zoo up there was just awful. All really bad coords and one halfway decent one (and that's being generous). That said I've no idea what any of them are like personality wise yet and there seems to be zero drama so as long as you don't mind itas you're good.

>> No.8563931
File: 9 KB, 200x187, shieeet.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
8563931

>getting to know my new comm better
>start hanging out with comm members individually outside of lolita
>it all is going super well
>decide to hang out with one of the borderline itas since we seem to have mutual likes outside of lolita
>doesn't seem like she has a lot of friends so why not?
>made the mistake of going shopping with her
>discover she's the kind of personality who thinks she's really, really hot
>kind of got autist vibes since she wasn't aware of the amount of conceit she was showing
>she kind of backhandedly (unintentionally?) negged me about my body while we clothes shopped because I'm bigger than her
>didn't shut up about how great she looks in all clothes
I was cringing and uncomfortable the entire time. Just for an example:
>"Anon what do you think of this dress?"
>"I really like it Liza, it would look good on you and compliment your waistline."
>"HAH, well of course it would look good on me anon. Everything looks good on me. You know, I'm unfortunately that friend in the group whose friends begin to hate because I always fit and look best in whatever I decide to wear."
>"Really? That's a shame Liza, I'm typically really happy whenever my friends find something great to wear and rock it..."
Repeat this ad nauseam, she kept pulling clothes from the racks to ask me opinions about them and then essentially dismissing what I would say because literally "everything looked great on her" anyway.
Unless it was something I liked, then she would neg it and say it looked too juvenile, while she paradoxically liked Boho clothes. If something did turn out looking not so nice on her she'd blame it on the way the item was constructed.

When we went to do something else that wasn't clothing related she got back on a normal level, but oh my gosh I had to put up with that for hours.

>> No.8563967
File: 87 KB, 500x600, 1438567561446.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
8563967

>>8563897
not a single pic was taken that day

>> No.8564028

>>8563922
There are experienced girls who devote a lot of time and energy into the fashion in both areas. The problem is, the ones who are better tend to be busier and don't attend as many meetups and their pictures aren't posted online publicly very often if at all. Most pictures have been showing up on personal facebooks rather than in the main comm. There's some beginners and less experienced people in the Columbus area too. So neither is really exclusive or better than the other IMO.

>> No.8564289

Can people post pics of nice looking comms??

>> No.8564382

>>8563931
>"I'm unfortunately that friend in the group whose friends begin to hate"
>"because I always fit and look best in whatever I decide to wear"
Yeahhhhh, not because she's a conceited bitch or anything. Is she like this with lolita, too? I mean, it also revolves around looking good in clothes.

>> No.8564564

>>8564382
Eh, she has potential but she's set in her ways in a few respects. She sews some of her own main pieces, and they're not entirely bad albeit a tad amateur in themselves. What's wrong about her coordinates is that she thinks she looks so good as-is that she forgets the aspects of accessorizing and matching, which she falls tragically flat on. She's stuck in a perpetual boring, beginner-like stage because of that.
She doesn't wear much makeup for about the same reasons; and because she loves how she looks so much she doesn't wear a wig either. Even though she could use full makeup and a wig with a thicker style would balance out her silhouette more.

Her shoe choice has also been really bad because of some orthopedic issues she has, but I can't really begrudge her because of the one thing she can't really help.

It might be a bit of a rough time guiding her in the right direction. It's hard for me to have patience giving her advice when she's already implied the reasons why people like me wear shapewear, a wig, and makeup is because we must *need* them to look good when actually these things tend to make *everyone* look better, and it isn't a matter of ugly vs. pretty.

>> No.8564629

>>8563931
>>8564564
I think we may be in the same comm... the girl you're describing sounds very familiar to me. Does she like to crochet by any chance?

Either way, I'm sorry you had to put up with that, that's pretty shitty. She may very well be aspergers or somewhat autistic, since it seems like she had no concept of social cues. Mana-sama bless you for not just making up an excuse to leave, I really don't know if I could have put up with someone being so dismissive and rude for hours on end. You must be some kind of saint, anon.

>> No.8564637

>>8563931
Hoooly shit sounds like one of my classmates.
>I'm like, so pretty!
>Every day I look in the mirror and just tell myself UGH, I look SO pretty today!
But she LOVES makeup because it 'enhances her natural beauty', down to the thick-ass eyeliner and overdrawn brows.

>> No.8565307

>>8552743
I'm just gonna take at a stab at it and get the ball rolling
God Tier
SF
Seattle
Mid Tier
NYC (non-ita)
Chicago
Austin
Los Angeles?
Eh Tier
Portland
Most of the other east coast groups (CT, PA)
Ita
NYC group II
Anything in the flyover states

>> No.8565476

>>8565307
LA should be higher.

>> No.8565477

>>8549648
Im in NoVA so I follow the DC and Baltimore comm pages. Everyone I've met in Baltimore has been very sweet. No weeby behavior that I'm aware of. I haven't been to any DC meets so I'm unsure about the people there.

>> No.8565482

>>8565307
As someone from Portland, I kind of agree. Then again, I don't know what a god tier comm looks like

>> No.8565503

>>8565307
I'm surprised Austin is even on this list and HLC isn't.

>> No.8565528

>>8565307
LA could be god tier, but since there is so many of us the itas joining in ruin it.

>> No.8565552

>>8565528
SoCal as a whole is mid-tier, but you're right, because of the sheer size there are enough itas to drag it down a notch from God-tier. If you just count the regulars they are definitely among the best.

>> No.8565565

>>8565307
Seattle,God tier? I've visited a meet from out of state and it seemed mid tier at best.

>> No.8565573

Whats the sitch on Toronto/SO? I just moved here after being a lonelita for a bit.

>> No.8565588

>>8565565
i agree and im in the seattle comm. even the current and ex mods are not god tier

>> No.8565604

>>8565573
Couple of itas, but overall it's a pretty well dressed and low drama comm. Most people are pretty low key.

>> No.8565609

>>8565552
Are the Socal comms active? Which group in the area is the friendliest and has the least drama? I'm moving to Cypress and am curious about the comms there.

>> No.8565623

>>8565609
LA and SD are the most active (and the best dressed), OC is after them. Inland Empire and Beach Cities are the least active.

>> No.8565625

>>8563922
To be fair, I think some of the girls avoid meetups where there's a large ita/socially awkward presence. I'm not very close with everyone in my comm, though.

>> No.8565636

>>8565609
>>8565623
To add to that re: drama, honestly very little. There are a couple lolcows and some e-famous peoplr, but no one causes major drama and we're basically all the typical California chill. The average age is higher than a lot of comms, which probably helps.

>> No.8565883

>>8556900
I'm sad my coworker royally fucked me over by calling in sick. I'm glad you all had a great time. Next time *clenches fist*

>> No.8565885

>>8565883
next time, anon! i believe in you

>> No.8565896

>>8562629
Pretty sure this is my Comm. The meet will be huge but just ask a nice group of people. Dress nicely (doesn't have to be elaborate) and be your normal self. It's really intimidating at times but honestly, it's totally worth it to go. Send me a message belugalove@hushmail.com. I'm going to compile a mini group of nice people i know. Bring a Blanket and something to eat that is disposable when done.

>> No.8565904

>>8565885
Is it odd that your comment kinda made my day? <3 thanks!

>> No.8565910

>>8565609
Drama in the LA comm is more within little groups between friends, not within the comm. We do have a shit ton of e-famous girls who all just lump together at most meets. And idk who is a lolcow in our comm but we do have like one or two cringy girls, some decently well dress fatty-chans, only like 3 that dress okay/ita like. We have a ton of weebs especially during casual meets and we have girls go all out during casual meets. But LA comm is chill but you just need to find your crowd and be a bit friendly

>> No.8565941

that girl from CoF that dressed her child in a really shit lolita coord is in my comm apparently (don't think this is her main comm and i think she also just joined recently)

>> No.8566008

>>8565910
>We do have a shit ton of e-famous girls who all just lump together at most meets

E-famous people like who if I may ask?
It's good to know the LA comm is chill

>> No.8566021

>>8566008
Lovely Lor
Kawaii Goods owner (don't know if she's considered e-famous though)
Marie Dauphine (respected gothic lolita)
Lemontree11
That's all I could think of right now

>> No.8566045

>>8566008
It's obvious Lor is one of the e-famous ones however she usually keeps to herself and her friend that she already knows. Her crew always follow her around and they are a bit more awkward than other groups. She seems out going but really is more quiet honestly in my opinion. Jordy aka orgasmicyogurt, and Olivia aka LemonTree11, (they are pretty e-famous) are some of the most sweetest and loveliest ppl especially Jordy, he is a sweet heart and real with you. Kawaii Goods owner is hella quiet and just goes to her friends, then there's Alyssa (Hijab lolita girl) just keeps to herself and not talk to anyone unless she knows them. The owners of Automatic Honey are two popular oujis who are nice too but stay with their friends a lot but do interact. Those are the ones who are known in e-famous status.

>> No.8566055

>>8565307
Why is SF considered god tier? As someone who's in it, it seems pretty evenly divided between decent dressers and bad dressers, and lately we've had an influx of special snowflake sjws so it honestly feels like it's going downhill a bit. I always have to check meets to see if it's just going to be itas or if some of the older members are going, because I wouldn't bother otherwise.

I feel like we've gotten that reputation for having brand stores but honestly it's a small percentage of people that dress really well.

>> No.8566814

>>8566008
Lor and Alyssa (Hijabi Lolita) are who I was thinking of, as they're pretty well-known but as others have mentioned there are quite a few tumblr-famous as well.

>> No.8566843

>>8566045
So is the LA comm clique-y and keeps to their small group of friends? I always float around and talk/chill with whoever wants to at meets. I'm not too concerned if people are efamous either, unless if they'll rub it in my face or something. I wouldn't want to deal with that.

>> No.8566929

>>8565588
Is there even anyone efamous in the Seattle comm? Is there a lot of drama? I might be moving to the area and keep hearing from people that's its either super chilled out or a snake pit. I've definitely heard there are some crazies in the comm too but I don't know if I should believe it

>> No.8567087

>>8566055
Omg yeah, another comm member here.
I consider us mid tier

>> No.8567091

Can anyone point me in the right direction?
I can't find Austin's comm anywhere on facebook.

>> No.8567096

>>8566843
A little bit--it's really only noticeable at large meets where people break off into their friend groups. At a small meet you would never know. SD is the same way.

>> No.8567105

I've never actually been to one of my comms meets because they are always several hours away but recently the facebook page has been blowing up with itas and new people. Nothing but asspats for all manor of ugly shitty coords. There's a meet at a con coming up that's only two hours away and I don't know if I want to be caught in lolita at it. I might still go to the con just to peak on them

>> No.8567451

>>8567105
Don't let other people dictate what you wear. Just because they suck doesn't mean you shouldn't have fun wearing it at the con.

>> No.8567486

>>8566843
Lor always has to be recording everything every single meet so its pretty obvious she wants you to know her status but she is alright okay. And yea we kinda just go to our groups but usually the other girls that do lolita just for fun like to walk around and talk to other ppl and be chill

>> No.8567491

>>8567091
Look through this thread, there's a master list of comms up there

>> No.8567503

>tfw you realize your comm is bottom tier
>even though you dress really nicely, your comm's ita ways bring you down
>ita to elite ratio off

>> No.8567848

>>8565307
How on earth is Austin God Tier?? Maybe one or two girls, but as a whole they're eh at best.

Agreeing with >>8565503 HLC should probably be on there instead.

>> No.8567855

Are there any good comms in london?

>> No.8568154

>>8567486
Doesn't Lor post most of the meetups on her youtube channel though?

>> No.8568158

>>8568154
Yea but usually she never ask permission to record or warn us that she is recording, so sometimes we worry that we might be saying something horribly stupid plus we do get a few minors for tea parties, well dressed tho, and that can be off putting ya know or some of us don't wanna be in the camera even if we are just in the background with our faces showing.

>> No.8568160

>>8568158
Same anon, I like Lor, she is nice and all but if it's a private tea party just with our local comm, atleast tell us you are recording just so we can be like cool thanks for the heads up you know?

>> No.8568171

>>8566055
I just don't go to the meetups where all the special snowflakes are congregating. It's not even because they're ita, it's because they're so immature and I don't want to deal with a bunch of brats and weebs.

>> No.8568181

>>8567855
Why? So you can get a head start on adding comm members and then talk shit about your lolita "friends" on facebook status?

>> No.8568191

>>8566929
nah, its pretty chill. theres a landwhale that tries very hard to be efamous. she has the most dirt and caused the most drama.

>> No.8568378

>>8566055
Agreed. SF isn't anywhere near god tier. A lot of the the good lolitas are starting to fall out of love with lolita. There's a small handful that are amazing, those that are decent lolitas, and then the itas. The influx of special snowflakes is terrible. Haven't gone to a meetup in awhile since most of them suck, especially the monthly meetup.

>> No.8568393

>>8568181
...what

>> No.8568526

>>8568191
Kek. Not according to other Seattle people in the last few comm threads.

>> No.8568621

>>8568181
Jesus Christ, I'm just asking. I'm moving from Dublin so I want a comm.

>> No.8568644

Is there a South Africa comm? I looked in the directory but it looks like the only one on there is shut down??

>> No.8568839

>>8568526
Meh, things have been pretty chill aside the online complaints of the summer ILD being overpriced. And even for that, most of the drama seemed only to be restricted to threads in cgl. The event itself went fine. Overpriced, yes, but fine.

>>8568191
Are you talking about Karma, perchance? I heard her maybe three years ago talking about starting up her own indie brand, but I thought she dropped that idea like all the other ideas she has. Best to just smile and nod.

I am hard-pressed to point to any comm in the US as god-tier, honestly. I consider Moscow in Russia to be god-tier. I don't see any comm in the states that could go near to matching that standard.

I'm probably one of the Seattle girls that is considered mid-tier or boring because I don't do many printed items, and I don't really put in effort into handmade accessories or clothes like some of the other girls for big events like ILD.

I do like that there is a good mix of brandwhore-ness and handmade in the comm. Not all the handmade stuff they make is the best, of course, but I appreciate the individuals experimenting with materials and themes, and taking concrit gracefully. But then again, I love the crazy stuff that Meta brings out.

>> No.8568851

would it be possible to upload an image of your comm, such as their banner image or whatever, to back up the "rankings"? a lot of this is hard to follow without visual representation.

>> No.8568852
File: 2.00 MB, 240x355, 1425064526699.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
8568852

>>8568839
Tbh Moscow only looks god-tier because they're good at only showing the world their best face. They do have itas but those are swept under the rug. They do have some amazing members, though.
>tfw I've had too much coffee and tried to type 'showing' and 'world' at the same time and it turned into 'whoring'

>> No.8568864

>>8568839
>Are you talking about Karma, perchance?
no.
> Moscow in Russia to be god-tier.
this and only this
>I'm probably one of the Seattle girls that is considered mid-tier or boring
me too! i like to dress mature no matter the substyle, even sweet.
>I do like that there is a good mix of brandwhore-ness and handmade in the comm.
i agree

i hear about the comm being very cliquey. i think thats somewhat true

>> No.8568866

>>8568181
Lol wtf. Projecting much?

>> No.8568885

>>8568621
Try the Tea Party Club, anon!

>> No.8568931

>>8547657
You don't have to match prints, you can just as easily match color schemes or even do like an ouji/lolita matching couple.

>> No.8568944

>>8567855
Yes there is a big and active London comm, not much going on atm because of the anniversary event but afterwards there will probably be a meet at least every month. Comm is friendly so don't be shy about turning up to a meet and not knowing anyone

>>8568181
wat

>>8568621
Are you S by any chance?

>> No.8568957

>>8565910
>well dress fatty-chans
I might be one of those.... Though I am more chubby than fat.

>> No.8568962

>>8568957
Were you at ILD tea party this year in Pasadena? If you were, then I must of seen you.

>> No.8568963

>>8568962
Yes I was, and I think for the most part I am well dressed.

>> No.8568965

>>8568963
Okay then I must of seen you there, did you were a pooh bear bee tsum tsum on your head?

>> No.8568967

>>8568965
Nooo not me, I am not really well known since I don't go to very many meets. I wear pretty much only Lief (I don't really wanna out myself).

>> No.8568975

>>8568967
Damn, same here. Don't want to out myself since our comm is pretty ehhh on cgl and stuff like this. Well if we have another big local meet, I will wear a seagull accessory until I find you. I need to find local lolitas that lurk here and become friends

>> No.8568978
File: 312 KB, 403x402, cglbrooch.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
8568978

>>8568975
One day anon

>> No.8568980

>>8568978
>top kek
Source anon?

>> No.8568986

>>8568980
http://www.notonthehighstreet.com/twiggd/product/wooden-seagull-brooch

Looks like it is sold out.

>> No.8568989

>>8568986
Dammit to hell. Welp anon somehow we will cross paths and we will be gulls together. I hope there will be a meet up soon thats not PMX

>> No.8569015

>>8568839
I think they're talking about Ayu.

>> No.8569023

i haven't been keeping up with lolita online like i used to (never really got into it irl, seeing as i was too poor and from a small town in germany) but i'm curious: where are these comms concentrating? like when you say moscow is god tier, do you gather that from their posts on egl on livejournal? are there pages of facebook? other places? what's the normal online presence these days...i just know of germany's dunkelsüss which was its own website, but i heard it died pretty much

>> No.8569058

>>8544525
I disagree, the best course would be to place a poop nugget on her bed as a warning

>> No.8569063

>>8569015
Kek. I just realized "Ayu" used to be a part of my comm. I'd heard the name, but never made the connection because that is not what she went by back then. I know this has been pointed out before, but damn, she gained a lot of weight. Didn't even recognize her.

>> No.8569113

>>8547292
Holy shit, people live in Silver Spring?

>> No.8569132

>>8568864
>i like to dress mature no matter the substyle, even sweet.
You, you keep doing that. I'm on a mission to create a lolita wardrobe where at least half the pieces I can wear to work. I really appreciate it when comm members can rock mature lolita and provide me inspiration.

That the Seattle comm leans cliquey, I have to agree, sadly. There are a number of factors that I believe contribute to it. One, it's a relatively large comm. While not every member of the facebook group (now approaching 300) attends meets, the group of 50 or so people who physically show up to meets on rotation, is still a pretty large group in itself. Large hobby groups will generally branch into smaller groups of friends.

Also, Seattle seems to have a ton of introverts. After I built up friendships with three or four of them, it'll mentally easier for me to continue talking with them at the public meetups more than trying to start conversations with newbies or acquaintances.

I'm trying to be better about this, like organizing private meetups with those close friends, and then talking more with other people at the official meetups. But even that sort of behavior is rather cliquey in its own way.

Anybody on this board who is interested in joining the Seattle comm, but is nervous: please come to our meets, and don't give up if the first meet seems like a cold reception. It may take two or three meetups for attendees to remember you, so be patient. If you're just starting out in the fashion with an incomplete wardrobe, try out the swap meets. It's common for people who are entering or leaving the fashion to be at the swap meets, so you don't need to be decked out in full lolita to attend.

>> No.8569205

>>8569132
Fellow Seattle comm member here, well said. I'm fairly new but I'm trying to build up my wardrobe, and I've found the swap meets to be perfect for this. I have been rather busy + worried about attending the more "normal" meet-ups, but I think I'll really try for it next time. I think I'm friendly enough, but admittedly some members still intimidate me a tad.

>> No.8569211

>>8568967
Diff SoCal anon - are you going to the Lief tea party at the end of the month? If so, I'll see you there

>> No.8569255

>>8563931
Just remember you're probably still better dressed than her anon.

>> No.8569267

>>8569211
You will for sure see me there...I may or may not be one of the hosts.

>> No.8569348

>>8568944
Sorry no :(

>> No.8569356

>>8569023
It's mostly tumblr and Facebook right now. LJ is practically dead.

>> No.8569372

>>8569211
Not that anon but I got paid last minute plus stupid co-worker had to pick that day off when I already called dibs.

>5eva crying
Have fun for me anon. Let us know how it goes!

>> No.8569390

>>8569211
Another LA gull here, I'll be at the tea party. Seagull mini meet before or after maybe?

>> No.8569405

>>8569390
I am so super busy with running the event and working at Anime California that it may be hard.

>> No.8569418

>>8565307
List anon here, Austin is mid tier because I'm dumb and got it confused with HLC. Also lol at all the people salty about SF being god tier. If it's not god tier, what is? As long as most of the girls look good it's god tier with a few itas in there. No US comm is gonna be perfect.

>> No.8569553

>>8565482
Same. We have some good girls though, but overall meh

>> No.8569562

>>8568158
Ah I see. We still have minors? I wasn't aware of that because I thought they all graduated this year and were 18.

>> No.8569570
File: 966 KB, 500x250, iluvu.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
8569570

>>8569267
Awesome-o!

>>8569390
I would do that fo sho. I'm coming from SD, so I don't really know the LA area as well, but let me know time/place and I'll be there.

>> No.8569574

>>8569570
Is there a comm in South Dakota? I live in Wyoming and can't find a good one.

>> No.8569590
File: 95 KB, 538x599, ss__2014_07_06_at_01.58.35_.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
8569590

>>8565307
Why the fuck is everyone debating over this list like it's the Bible? Its just one persons opinion. A list like this won't be close to accurate unless that single person has been in every comm or people from different comms come together and put the list together.

Either way the idea of ranking each community is elementary and dumb anyway.

>> No.8569611

>>8569574
Sorry, when I said SD I was referring to San Diego as opposed to LA/Los Angeles.

>> No.8569615

>>8569590
well you're no fun

>> No.8569624

>>8569570
Oh hey, me too. We probably already know each other, and may even be carpooling.

>> No.8569632

>>8569611
I should have known! Goddamn

>> No.8569643

I'm in Northwest England, I want to start going to meets after I lose some weight, but I can't find any meets in my area, help please?

>> No.8569649

>>8569624
>>8569570
I can probably guess who the 2 of you are by my guest list now haha

>> No.8569782

>>8569590
Somebody should compile a questionnaire.
Each person rates their experience with their comm from a scale from one to ten with questions such as, how well dressed they are as a group, how well organized meets are, how frequent meets are, how friendly the members are, how socially awkward, etc.
I would if I had a computer rn.

>> No.8569825

Anyone know of any general jfash communities in the Pacific Northwest? I'm around Portland, but I'm finally dipping into fashion and I'd dig some company that isn't lolita-specific.

>> No.8569835

>>8569418
If 'a few of the girls looking good' can launch SF in god tier I'd hate to see all you other comms. We don't even have anyone e-famous?

>> No.8569856

>>8569825
I think there's a general Portland Jfashion group on Facebook, but it's pretty much dead.
There are a lot of us in the Lolita comm that are into other fashions, though!

>> No.8569909

>>8569643
Just don't go. They're almost all itas and weebs.

>> No.8569919

Does Wyoming have a comm?

>> No.8569927

>>8568191
Kek you're talking about ayu

>> No.8570008

Gulls, I need advice. Do you all make it a point to reach out to the local comm before you're on holiday just to see what they're like?

>> No.8570108

>>8569624
>>8569649
Well, I'm not carpooling with anyone, so, probably not...

>> No.8570142

>>8569418
No one is being salty, we just don't agree.
Are you even a comm member?

>> No.8570149

>>8570142
Nevermind, you're list anon.
Yeah. If you don't go to regular meetups, you won't know that sf is average tier.

>> No.8570300

>>8569835
She said most of the girls are good with a few itas, not "a few of the girls looking good"

>> No.8570382

>>8569205
the seattle comm is actually not at all judgmental to what you wear, so dont feel pressured to be dressed to the nines every meet.
>>8569927
you think so? :^)

>> No.8572606
File: 312 KB, 1110x1096, bait.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
8572606

>>8551227
>>8549366

>> No.8573166

Absolutely love my comm, everyone is so chill and honestly just great people inside- and outside of lolita. Had the best time at a local con last weekend despite the tea party and booth not being the best situation. Maybe it's because we're Canadian? I don't know, everyone just really knows how to lay back and have a good time.

>> No.8574104

>>8569015
What comm was she in before Seattle?

>> No.8574186

>>8556817

>> No.8575440

I made a new thread
>>8575435