/cgl/ - Cosplay & EGL

>>7993291
>part 2/3 (feel worse than I thought)
>tells me what his psychiatrist prescribes him and I'm a little bit shocked
>first off she has him on Wellbutrin
>Wellbutrin makes you a bit jazzed and can cause anxiety, why is she prescribing this to a patient with anxiety?
>The only anxiety medication she gives him is a benzo that I forget the name of (it was similar to valium) with instructions to only take it before he has to face a situation that might trigger a panic attack
>I make an offhand comment that it's weird she has him on Wellbutrin and not something like lorazepam (what I take), but I decide since she has all the school and all of my knowledge is just from being prescribed a slew of crazy meds in my time, I'll see how it works out for him.
>For two months it's working fine
>Boyfriend is actually much better mood wise than I have seen him in our relationship, and doing great at work
>Suddenly, he's starting to have panic attacks
>Press him a bit, find out he's been taking the benzo literally every day
>thisisnotgood.jpg
>It is incredibly easy to build up a tolerance to any type of benzo if you take it every day instead of just for panic attacks
>I tell my boyfriend he needs to go back to the psychiatrist
>He finally makes an appointment 12 days ago
>I go with him, wait in the waiting room
>Appointment literally lasts 10 minutes.
>Wat
>She prescribes him sustained release clonazepam, which has a list of serious side affects the length of my arm
>First day on the meds he tells me "I can't walk right, I feel like I'm drunk."
>It only gets worse from there

>>7993292
>part 3/3
>He is still woozy whenever he takes it, to the point I'm worried about him driving
>He is having intense mood swings, crying at work, becoming incredibly agitated, snapping at people, being unreasonable, having really intense downswings
>He is never like this, he is the sweetest person ever
>I know from my own similar experience he is having a bad reaction to the drug
>I tell him Friday he needs to call the psychiatrist, and he needs to stop taking the drug that is making him sick
>The reactions he's having are listed on the rare and "call a doctor immediately" list for the drug
>He reacts to what I'm telling him in a very blase way, doesn't call the psychiatrist, won't stop taking the drug because "the doctor told me to and I don't know what will happen if I stop."
>As of today, I have finally made him agree to call the psychiatrist on Monday, he wanted to stick it out for the month to see if the side effects went away
>He doesn't seem to realize just how awful and noticeable of an affect this stuff is having on him
>It's very hard to not get irritated with a person who is acting so unreasonable
>The only reason I'm not mad at him is because I'm actually terrified by how sick this stuff is making him
>I'm worried out of my mind and terrified he will hurt himself or someone else
>I have told him that I'm really worried about him and I think it's just making him feel worse, but I don't know how else at this point to get him to just stop taking the fucking things and to see a more competent psychiatrist
>feels bad man

tell your bf to not trust a anyone fully, not even a doctor because afterall, they're human and do make mistakes. he should definitely consider getting a second opinion

posting here because other thread ded
>need to change one of my classes (drama) because I have ridiculous anxiety and keep getting shit grades in all the assignments because of that
>want to be a director, artist and/or psychologist so would prefer to take an elective that relates to that
>too scared the counselor is going to ignore me and refuse to let me change, which has happened before (she previously put me in band even though I explicitly told her I can't play any instruments, the band teacher literally had to kick me out before she would listen)
>it's already the end of the second quarter
kill me

>tfw ugly breasts
>tfw parents won't let you get surgery to fix them anytime soon
>tfw scared no one will ever love you because you have a disgusting body
>tfw relapsing to bulimia

>>7993295
Sorry to hear it. Medicine can help and medicine can suck ass. But I guess I don't need to tell you that.
It's good that he's agreed to go back. Remind him that it can take a few tries before finding medicine that actually works. That even though those people are professionals, they hardly ever get it right in one go.
I'm not sure it's wise for him to quit the medicine without consulting the doctor about it. That can have adverse effects too. Maybe you can call the doctor's office and quickly explain the problem, and ask if he should quit them right away or not?

>>7993292
>Appointment literally lasts 10 minutes.

please tell me you can find a different psychiatrist

>>7993316
Post tits and we will judge you properly

>in a bdsm relationship
>master cares more for his other pet and the women he's involved with
>wont give me a name or permanent collar
>i stand my ground
>he says ive fucked up too much and takes my pet status away and puts me back under consideration
emotionally abuses and ignores me
>one case of physical abuse
>does things to hurt me on purpose
>really just want to kill myself

>>7993316
Ugly how? They're probably fine, honestly.

>>7993316
No one cares about tits anyway. Do squats and get a glorious ass.

>>7993402
Get out of there, a relationship like that isn't worth it. There are plenty of masters who will actually treat you decently.

>Just found out there are mafias in my country who kidnap girls to cut their hair.
>Tfw my hair is extremely long, thick, and beautiful.
>Really paranoid everytime strangers touch/tug it without warning (which is at least once a day)
>Tfw I never find hairstyles to make it look short in lolita/cosplay threads.
>Tfw I'm not even sure if it's possible to style it in a way in which it looks short.
B-but I don't want to cut it, it's so nice for cosplay...

>>7993415
What country is that, somewhere in Eastern Europe? And you should be wearing a wig for cosplay anyway, which would be much easier to manage with short hair.

>>7993418
Spain.
And it's actually easier making my hair look accurate for costumes such as Sailor Moon/Sailor Venus/ Victorique de Blois/Chii than trying to find a wig which closely resembles their hair.
I know that is no excuse but I still prefer my hair long.

>>7993418
>somewhere in Eastern Europe
dude Eastern Europe has lower crime rates than Western Europe, the fuck are you talking about. Don't get your facts from American films, I beg of you.

I live in a country that people stereotype as "war ridden shithole" yet I can walk around here any time and anywhere I want which isn't something I could say for the capitals of the UK or France.

>>7993440
woah simmer down there Vladimir

>>7993414
Not just decently , but evenbetter. Hell, why cant your master also be your SO ?

>>7993448
he doesnt love me. i love him more than anything in this world, but he will never love me. he wont love anyone.

>>7993360
It wasn't his initial appointment. He'd have gone in told the psych that he fucked up and took benzo every day and now he's having certain problems. Everything else was A-Ok so there wouldn't have been much to cover

>>7993402

That's what you get for being a degenerate.
Is having a real relationship that fucking hard?

>>7993440
It was really more because most human hair extensions I've seen from white people tend to be from Russia or Eastern Europe.

>>7993460
You don't know what kink is do you sweetheart? For all we know this anon has had normal vanilla relationships. Not our part to pry, just support.

>>7993468

Are you stupid? This isn't tumblr. Go back to that hugbox if you want to blindly pat everyone on the back.

>Not our part to pry, just support.

Sometimes the best support is telling someone how fucking stupid they are. If a girl was sticking a rusty old pipe up her vagoo and was getting infections from it, you don't think it'd be alright to tell her to stop fucking doing that?

>>7993451
When you invest something and you get more than what you invested, its called profit. IE mutual loving relationships

When you invest into something and you are getting less than what you invested, its called loss. IE your relationship.

You can try to turn loss into profit, but it seems you have tried. And you tried. And you tried. That loss will always be a loss, and there's nothing you can do. Except for one thing: cut it off and cut it off for good. Thats normal logic for you, but logic goes awry when emotions, doubts, and fears are involved. Listen to me. You will find someone else. And it's not just one person. There will be more than several people in this world that would be compatible with you and as is everyone else. That one true love and mr./mrs. Right ideology is inaccurate as fuck.

Get your ducks in a row, and skedaddle. And if he asks you to come back, he's making profit while you are making loss.

>>7993402
BDSM shit in /cgl/? Now I've seen everything

>>7993482
>finally an anon who gets it and gives good advice

All you peeps in unequal relationships listen to this anon right here.

>>7993473
Here's the thing about BDSM, its a fwtish that can be controlled. It has 4 main aspects. Safety, pain, pleasure, and trust. You don't know how satisfying it is to have someone inflict pain to you and you could make them stop just by saying so. They love you so much that they would sacrifice time and effort to make sure that you are not in unacceptable amounts of pain. And it is reciprocated. You don't know how satisfying it is to have someone trust you enough to let them inflict pain on them or even in the position to do great harm! Thats an inexplicable show of trust and love and pasdion! Polyamoury, on the other hand, deals with complex emotions that cannot be controlled easily. You can't contain regret, doubt, jealousy, and hate as easily as you can with pain.

>>7993490

The problem is that the stupid slut is engaged in polyamoury as well as BDSM. If she was simply getting it rough from a BF, this wouldn't be an issue.

But she's decided to get involved in a type of relationship that involves more than one girl. A type of relationship that is CENTERED around suffering.

What the fuck did she think would happen?
That the dude who takes pleasure from her pain would suddenly respect her?

Hey OP I was just browsing/lurking. Rarely venture into /cgl/ and actually post.

Your bf is experiencing benzo rage - totally (unfortunately) normal side effect of benzos. Definitely need to get him off and away from them.

Wellbutrin is just what docs use to test the waters for antidepressants because it's relatively safe and has a low list of side effects.

For anxiety issues look into kava kava. It's a natural plant used in south pacific islands. It binds to GABA receptors (anti-anxiety) and has a low abuse potential.

here have a kind of /cgl/ related pick i guess?

>>7993295
He definitely needs to find a different psychiatrist, but please also remember that finding the right medications with the right dosages can be a tricky process that will usually take a few months since most medications which treat mood disorders need time to build up in the system before they can begin to take effect. Anyway, hang in there and good luck finding a better doctor!

>>7993316
Practice lots of self love and if you're really worried about relapse, you should go see a doctor.

>end up technically homeless in a women's dv shelter mid-august after leaving abusive shithead dad
>have to drop out of final year of school because of it
>doesn't matter, I was basically failing everything anyway
>been failing everything since the end of year 10 anyway after my parents split from flip-flopping between them
>decide to try and pick up a shitty lil business diploma to fill the gap between now and maybe getting into uni year after next so I have some sort of qualifications
>start of diploma coincides with exit date for the shelter
>now living with mum who's basically not capable of anything other than selfishness and general emotional abuse and autismo sister (her diagnosis came in the other week actually, mild to moderate autism, and apparently won't be able to function independently as an adult)
>drop my guts completely and just lie in bed and sleep for two weeks
>super behind on TAFE course, missed called and unanswered emails from tutor
>pathetic PTSD-riddled mess, can't function at all, can't even play video games or read for leisure due to how much I dissociate
>have no idea how to explain this to tutor because I talked myself up initially, feel stupid because of what I said
>have no idea how to ask for help, no idea where to get it from, don't want to go get help in case I'm labelled with something that just makes life and getting a job and shit harder down the track
>no idea wtf I want to do with my life either, all I know is that I want to go to uni
>constantly comparing present me to me six months before my parents split where teachers all told me "oh anon you should do medicine you're so smart it'd be a waste if you didn't!"
>feel like an utter failure, wondering if there's any point to anything any more
>too pussy to just neck myself and end it

>>7993496
you think i want to remain poly? everyone is poly by defult but its a taboo. i dont want what we have to be poly, i want to be the only one for him, but i cant have that since i dont have control. thank you for calling me a slut too when he's the only person im doing anything sexual with and my 2nd sexual partner

>>7993496
Polyamoury is more based on hedonism and freedom without constraint, moving outside the conformation that society has established. Mix that with BDSM, you get cuckold/cuckquean. Which is an emotional form of sadism. And nothing good can come of that when you're in the bitch seat. And men and women who are cuckolds and cuckqueans respectively have the thought that they are less of a person than what their partner deserves. In other words, low self esteem mixed with a selfless attitude. Men and women who think they are not well endowed, think they are ugly, or think they have a severe personality flaw often become cuckolds/cuckqueans

>>7993487
Thanks, i try to give good, sound advice when I can.

>>7993312
How old are you, anon?

>>7993316
If you're worried about your breasts, get a nice ass instead. It's possible for pretty much anyone to attain if you put in the work, and ass>tits anyway.
You probably don't look as bad as you think, but I know that feel.
>tfw small, saggy boobs after losing weight

>>7993295
God damn, please find him a different psychiatrist as quickly as possible. It's probably difficult to reason with him, but he needs to understand that doctors are people and make mistakes. Hang in there anon, I hope things get better for the two of you.

>>7993312

I have ridiculous anxiety and no drama experience, yet have been forced to do a really abstract, weird drama class for credits in my final year because they fucked up my timetable last year telling me to do classes that were relevant but was the wrong level so they doesn't actually didn't toward my degree. No idea how to fund a fifth year to make up more credits (£9000) because of their stupid error. If I don't complete the degree I'm immediately liable to pay back all of my student loan... With no degree. Where the fuck am I going to get 40k

Lolita has been my distraction from this shitstorm

>Tfw bought all this clothing ($300 dollars worth)
>Tfw I still don't look good enough
>Tfw I'm addicted
>I love the ching chong wadda wadda bing bong clothing too much
>It's too late

It's not entirely /cgl/ related so my apologies in advance. The people involved are just involved in my geek circle.

>my bf has really close friends since his family are absentee
>they have this really big close-knit circle with each other, everyone knows each other's business, etc.
>one person in particular (let's call him Chubs) has 'gentle giant' personality
>he's not attractive, likely insecure
>Chubs has had a gf for over three years and he's engaged to her

>one night the bf is blowing up his phone and looks concerned
>ask him what is wrong
>informs me that Chubs had an "emotional affair" with another female friend in the friend circle
>bf proceeds to bash this other woman while almost brushing aside the fact that his friend is also a cheating asshole
>I point it out
>"But anon, I know this other girl enough to know that she instigated it and besides Chubs feels really really bad and don't people make mistakes?"
I half expected my bf to defend one of his good friends, but it made me annoyed that he was playing apologist for a cheater (should this make me concerned..). Fuck, even Chubs knows he's a piece of shit. I didn't say anything to the bf that would have pushed his buttons, but I just mentioned that it takes two to tango blah blah blah. Even if the other woman "seduced" Chubs, he's so obviously grown enough to resist and shut her down, he's fucking ENGAGED. It's almost like he let it happen because he knew people would side with him because he has more friends. I love how nobody barely mentions how Chub's gf must be really hurt, NOPE, only poor stupid Chubsy Wubsy is upset. Oh, and getting to that point:
>bf doesn't come home last night
>told me that Chubs was driving from out of town to hang out
>mfw they're all over there drinking and having a grand old pity party for themselves because Chubbo fucked up

Anyway, I'm staying mum because if not I might get painted as the pariah who criticized the grand cheating patriarch who can do no wrong.

>>7993316
The average pair of boobs have funky areola, are uneven, sag, and have stretchmarks.

Unless you have super huge breasts that interfere with your health, or mosquito bites, your tits are likely average and fine.

Some people are just used to the depiction of melons that defy gravity because they've watched too much tv with characters who've had work done and now think that's the norm for the average person. Well, bullshit. Also
>a man rejecting a woman because she doesn't have perfect tits
Sounds like a Geoffrey in the making.

>>7993584
god that shit pisses me off.
Women are stupid and incapable of doing anything when it fits them, but other times it's "oh I'm a poor widdle man honey and she seduced me with her predatory tits, you KNOW men are stupid and think only with their dick haha but we all make mistakes, right :)"

If my bf did that I'd ask him what he'd do if he was in the same situation because I certainly wouldn't want to be with a man like that.

>>7993316
I understand you so much anon.

I hate my nose so much. I've hated it since I was a kid and have been bullied for it a lot. I've always wanted to change it and have been saving money (I only work part time) for a year now. It makes me not want to cosplay anymore and I love cosplaying so much.

Finally saved up enough money for a nonsurgical nosejob, which is a lot cheaper than a normal one and only lasts a year so I can see if I want an actual one or not.
I just had my consultation this week and they said it will only make my nose look bigger and they can't help.
I'm relapsing back to anorexia and bulimia because of it. I'm thin as it is, but maybe if I'm skinny enough, no one will comment on it.

> Admire lolita for a far for 3 years
> Couldn't buy anything because responsibilities
> Now can buy stuff because responsible adult
> Don't know where the fuck to begin
> Maybe I'll start by getting a few basics
> "I know, Taobao!"
> Don't know where the fuck to begin

I thought my body was ready for frills but I'm lost at where the hell to start. Any one got any advice for a noob? Like should I start with getting basics like blouses, petti ect...

> tfw was always considered the smart one between my siblings
> turned out I really was the smart one between my siblings
> tfw also mental issues
> tfw sister is now better academically then me

I feel jealous in a way because I always felt like being somewhat smart was the only thing good about me and now I'm not doing as well I just feel worthless and it makes me want to cry that I can't even feel proud of my sister instead of jealous.

>>7993613
Exactly that, anon. Get a petti, a blouse, and a skirt or JSK, depending on what you prefer. Get some cute matching accesories to start with simple co-ords and stick to a simple color scheme.

>>7993629
dont forget shoes! plain white shoes are always a good start, bodyline has some good choices.

>studying abroad next semester
>amazing opportunity, taking classes I love, rooming with my best friend
>but
>have to break up with bf because he feels uncomfortable with long distance
>he might be moving away soon as well
>plus no suitcase room to bring lolita
>tfw no pretty frills or cute boy for months
>between finals, packing, being forced to live in home town before/after study abroad to save money, and break up I'm not excited at all

>>7993295
Yeah seconding what everyone else is saying, you guys REALLY need to find a whole new psychiatrist for him because this one sounds like a dumbass. 10 minutes is not an appropriate amount of time for something like this, it sounds like they aren't too concerned about your boyfriend. But that really sucks anon, I hope you are able to get it worked out ASAP.

>>7993613
I am a few months on from you in that I bought the clothes already, a few grand of a buying spree. What I would say is that the colours that look good on you now will still look good on you in lolita clothes. Look into some of the bloggers who post x wardrobe for under 500 or something like that, pick a style, a colour and away you go with a few outfits. My mistake was ordering things because I got excited over prints and now I have things that don't suit me or I don't feel confident in.

>>7993629
Thanks for the advice, anon. I had an idea of what to do but I kind of convinced myself I was some how wrong.

Sorry to bother you with stupid questions but would it be a better idea to stick with a simple coloured shoe like brown, black or white?

I like ivory, creams, browns with light accent colours so I have no idea when it comes to matching shoes, it's my weakest point in co-ords.

>>7993633
>>7993645
I should have read these first before posting before. But thank you all so much. You've been a huge help.

I'll be smart and do more search before I buy things. <3

Went to Jekyll Comic Con, small one day con in Georgia. While a lot of fun, and they did super well for a fist year con, there was some off things.

1st
> She woman in a good attempt at Dula Dent.
> She corrects me
>"No my boy friend and I wanted to do a steampunk, gender bend mash up of Joker and Harley."
> I'm pretty sure it was a minute before I could process that this woman was real.

2nd
It's very clear the woman who's running the cosplay contest has no clue what she was doing. I find out later this is her first con ever and she normally does concerts.
>The contest consists of the the contestants walking on stage, saying their name and character and walking to stand in front of the stage.
>40~ people in the 16 and under and 50~ in the adult.
>The contest winners are chosen by audience applause from a noise level reader.
>The adult contest comes down to 5 contestants.
> All the 16- are screaming for a 7/10 Ariel.
>1/3 of the room for 8/10 Pyramid head and
>2/3 for an 8/10 Aku cosplay.
>Aku is announced as the winner, the Aku section is happy but the Pyramid head and Ariel section are about to revolt.
>Eventually they say if you don't like it email us so we can be better next year.


For a first year con it was fucking fantastic, I had an excellent time and would totally go again next year.

>>7993584
Who fucking cares? Tell your boyfriend his friend's a cheating asshole and deserves to feel bad. People make mistakes, sure, and maybe Chubbs and his fiancee can overcome this, but he fucked up and should have to deal with that, not be babied because "he's a nice guy".

When one of my closest male friends told me he cheated on his girlfriend of five years, even though he was sobbing and obviously felt awful, I tore that motherfucker down for it. We're still just as close and I'm not a bitch in my circle because no fucking shit, I was right.
>yes i mad
Sorry to sound like a bitch, but this kind of thing pisses me off.

>>7993664
>some girl really did do a steampunk genderbend Joker
I want this to be real so fucking bad.
Pictures?

>>7993672
google Duella Dent.

>sister is a hairstylist
>gives me a trim/redoes some layers
>ask her that if she works on my bangs to make sure she doesn't cut them too short
>she cuts my bangs and makes them way too short after I told her where to stop cutting
>cannot style my hair into anything without needing half a can of hairspray to try hiding the shortest section

I try to be thankful because it's borderline free with a family discount to get a color and cut but it's so goddamn annoying that she does it every time and admits the mistake like a month after.

>>7993684
I know about the "some dumb bitch thought Duella was a genderbent steampunk Joker" story.
I mean I want to hear about someone who wanted to do genderbent steampunk Joker and had no idea Duella was even a thing.
Or are you just jerking my chain here?

>>7993598
It essentially boiled down to
>"they're both assholes but the girl is moreso because I don't like her as much as Chubs and I think she's more responsible for it"

I know it's bullshit. It just makes me facepalm. They're talking about alienating the girl from their parties, and it just leaves me wondering as an outsider as to why they ever invited her to begin with if they all hated her so much.

>>7993669
I agree with you, but I should clarify that this is more my bf's circle, not mine. I would feel a bit out of line to butt in, though I think anyone reasonable could see from my point of view.

>>7993797
lulwut
The person who is actually in a relationship is the one who has the most responsibility.

>>7993797
I'm not saying you should butt into his friends circle or anything, just if he brings it up to you again, you should tell him specifically that you disagree with him and think Chubbs is at least equally responsible and that he's not some helpless child lured in by a succubus or some other bullshit. Unless your boyfriend's really gossipy and will tell his friends "hey guys get a load of what my gf thinks isn't she a bitch", I don't see why you can't be honest with your boyfriend at least.

>>7993351
I was just of the mind that if he's having side effects that are literally some of the worst listed for the drug that the risk of staying on it outweighs any withdrawal he would experience from taking himself off of it. I've taken myself off a drug I was having an adverse reaction to before (Wellbutrin actually, it makes me have the chills and body aches as if I had the flu). He's still on the starting dose so it's not like he can step down gradually or anything.
>>7993459
It's possible that this was the case, but honestly I've never had a psychiatric appointment, even a follow up, last less than a half an hour.
>>7993508
Oh, I definitely know that, as stated this is not my first rodeo with crazy meds. I myself went through 4 different anti depressants and one anti anxiety med before we discovered lorazepam was best for me, and then I had another few months of adjusting dosages. I wish my bf could see my psychiatrist, but she's through my university and doesn't take patients who aren't enrolled there.
>>7993497
Thank you for this. Benzo rage sounds exactly what he's experiencing, and having him read an article on it has finally got him to accept that this is probably a pretty serious problem. In regards to most people starting on Wellbutrin, I generally thought starting people on an SSRI like Prozac was the most common course of action, and I just think it's a little irresponsible to prescribe a drug that can cause anxiety to a patient who is telling you that they're fairly anxious essentially all the time.

Thank you everyone for your replies though, I think now he is starting to see that this is a problem that can't be solved by waiting it out, and that he needs a different psychiatrist. Hopefully we can find him one that listens, and a drug that doesn't make him freak out.

>>7993648
http://www.bodyline.co.jp/bodyline/showProduct2.asp?id=8523&pageNumber=2&pageStop=stop_5&noSubType=N You could try a simple shoe like this in each of your choices - black, brown & white for 50 usd shipped. I like bodyline for basics/fillers, you get more bang for your buck. Plus it's never lost a package or given me the wrong item. You might just not have found anything you like enough in a traditional lolita shoe. My favourite shoes to wear with the colours you mentioned are a pinkish hush puppy lolita shoe with ribbon ties I match with m1y accent colour http://www.schuh.co.uk/womens/hush-puppies-lolita-shootie-pale-pink-high-heels/1152323320/

I'm a dipshit and posted in the old thread but

>see dress I want on LaceMarket
>not really sure if I should buy it
>but it's such a good price
>decide to put in a bid with 5 hours left, if I get it, I get it, if not oh well
>wake up this morning
>I got it
>babbys_first_burando.jpg
>super excited now

I hope she invoices me soon so that I can maybe get it before the new year (she's overseas from me).

>>7993295
Maybe you shoulr report her for malpractice because that all sounds really dangerous.

>>7993415
Just put your hair in buns when you go out

People won't know that it's actually that long.

I'm incredibly horny
>tfw no dildo

>>7993614
This feel anon.

But, academic standings really don't mean a lot. My sister has an 89% in Math but it's only because she does all of her homework. She doesn't understand any of the material. I almot failed Math, but it was because I didn't do homework. I tested well, but schoolwork just didn't happen. I teach my sister the shit every single night that she needs to know for her work and I graduated 3 years ago Don't feel bad.

>>7993415
>>Just found out there are mafias in my country who kidnap girls to cut their hair.

This is one of my greatest fear. I don't live in your country, but I'm constantly afraid someone might cut my hair for that reason, or just as a prank. I don't really know why I have this fear, my hair is long but only reaches my hips so it's not *that* long, and no one here has ever really botheres me/touched it in public. Yet everytime I go out with a braid or leave my hair open, I make sure to pay extra attention no one's coming near it.
Last week a group of teenage boys sat behind me in the bus; they were pretty loud and obnixious, and I had to place my braid over my shoulder and constantly keep a hand on it because I somehow got really afraid one of them would cut it for fun.

>tfw getting paranoid

Are there other long haired Anons with similar feels?

>Did a group taobao order with people.
>Takes forever since one shop didn't let us know they had sold out of something (and instead waited for their shipment, which was fine I guess)
>One store sends wrong item but SS catches it and sends it back. Gotta wait for the replacement.
>Okay, that's fine, they're just being nice people.
>Gets stuck in customs for a bit, but not too long.
>See it was delivered to my friend's apartment.
>Freakingout.jpg
>Text her about it.
>Says it's stuck in the office and while there may be someone there, she's not going to get it until tomorrow.
>Don't wanna ask if her roommate can get it.
>Leaving for vacation tomorrow.
>I-It's okay. I wasn't excited for it or anything.

>one life dream is to become a prince for a lolita
>be creative and campy and fabulous together
>set example for others in comm on how to navigate a dreary life with humor, style, and openness

>currently too influenced by opinions/moods of others
>energy constantly sunk into not offending or upsetting anyone around me
>nothing left over to follow my passions

>tfw undeserving of title of prince
>tfw too dependent on people who don't even want me around
>tfw need to rely less on the expectations of others
>no lolita will save me, I must save myself

>>7993672
Here you are my friend, sorry about the wait, I was trying to find a better quality photo but I think this is the best I'm going to get

>>7993924
Seriously, this is true, grades usually mean more about the amount of effort someone puts in and how well-behaved they are in class rather than pure intellect. I went from failing my first two years of high school because I literally did not give a shit and skipped school all the time to getting my act in line and making straight As the second two years. I had a couple teachers who knew I was smart all along and were like "see what happens when you try" and really proud and the rest were just blown away by the complete 180 from Fs to top of the class in almost every subject.

And anyway, you might be smart, just not in the way school demands it, and that's 100% okay.

>>7993946
...are you sure she wasn't just taking the piss out of you?

>>7993924
I know, but it just makes me feel so bad seeing my sister work so hard and reach her goals while also having a job
meanwhile if I do 2 hours of homework a week it's already good and I can't even get a job. It just makes me feel so useless.

>>7993614
Try not to think about it too much. Academics aren't the end all be all of intelligence. I used to feel the same way, like being smart was the only thing I had, and then I started dating someone who turned out to be WAY better than me at academics. It really wrecked me for a while until I started paying attention to the other good qualities I do have. And after being with this guy for a few years, I've realized he's kind of dumb as a brick when it comes to a lot of simple tasks and praises me like I'm a wizard when I walk over and show him an easier way to do something that seems really obvious to me.

You're going to be better at some things than others, and worse at some things, too. Being good at school isn't something you should focus on like that as "your best trait". Find other things you want to be or skills you want to have and hone those.

>>7993962
Yes. She entered the costume contest as the Joker.

>>7993959
What made you turn around and stop wasting your potential?

>>7993415
Wtf? I always knew there was something shady about cheapads human hair extensions but i didn't know it was this bad. What country is this?

>>7994009
There wasn't any one thing, really, but a few factors may have been:
-Home life got better as my mother spent more time away from home and less time screaming at me and being controlling. I skipped school a lot just to go play video games or see friends because my mother let me do normal teenager stuff, but when she wasn't around, I could do that after school like a normal kid.
-I didn't want to get stuck at night/summer school anymore thanks to skipping. Not only was it a total waste of my time, but most of the kids were there because they were doing drugs and getting pregnant and shit, so I got picked on because I was just a quiet nerd, and that sucked.
-Changing schools. I had more classes with friends and enjoyed the environment more overall. Those supportive teachers who "knew I had it in me" or whatever, they were ones I knew from that school as well, so having those few encouraging adult voices probably helped a lot.

I didn't suddenly have more motivation to learn and perform or anything. I'd always liked studying for myself but hated school and homework, but I just...did it those last couple years. It wasn't even because I wanted to go to university and needed to get my shit together, either. Maybe I just wanted to prove to myself that I could. I don't know.

>>7994036
*because my mother never let me do that stuff, rather

>>7994035
Spain. It looks like they would pay like 600€?? about 1 kg of good quality human hair. My hair must weigh at least 2 kgs.

I'm not really good at anything so all I want to do is be a housewife but if I do that people get angry at me and say I'm doing women a disservice. How am I doing anyone a disservice? Even if I tried to study something I just wouldn't be good at it or wouldn't like it, and I've tried. I'm not really good for anything else, and I don't want to be a hooker or whatever. At least this way my husband doesn't have to worry about chores and I'm keeping him happy, what's wrong with that?
Even if I did finish something I'd probably be a cleaner or work a McJob for the rest of my life.

>>7993291
Another depression fag here. Sometimes it takes a long time to find the right combo/dosages of medications and even then they can only do so much. It took me nearly a year and four months inpatient to find the right meds and I'm still only running at ~60%

A psychiatrist can't force you to take medication without a court order and they can only hold you for 72 hours if it's an acute harm to yourself/others situation. And that is damned hard to prove too. Psychiatrists actually have a very heart wrenchingly difficult job because they can't help someone who is doesn't want to be helped. Don't get me wrong, some psychs can be scumbags, one let me run out of meds for weeks and I had wicked SSRI withdrawal, brain shivers, and ended up suicidal in the ER twice. Your best bet is to have a serious sit down with your boyfriend and let him know how you feel. Just don't let his self neglect harm you okay?

>>7993415
>nice for cosplay
>using real hair for cosplay

>>7993584
Anon, if that's your bf's reaction to what's happening, I would seriously reconsider your relationship with him.

First off, it's clear where his loyalties lie and don't doubt that his little circle of manchildren wouldn't act the same/ cover for him were he to do something similar; second of all, I am getting serious dudebro vibes from him and that makes me think he probably doesn't respect you at all.

>>7993295
Correction, his psych is a scumbag. But only for not closely monitoring his reactions. Sometimes they have to try everything if you don't react how you should, I was once on 6mg of clonapin a day because benzos don't work well with me. From personal experience, he should try a mood stabilizer, along with a group therapy. I have extreme anxiety and being forced to socialize with people in a similar situation helped a lot. If he's reacting badly to benzos, don't let him drive please.

>>7993360
That's pretty common in Amerifat. He needs more time with a therapist, psychiatrists here are to prescribe meds and that's about it. Plus a therapist can schedule a quicker appointment, next day even with a psych if a medication is causing a reaction.

>>7993664
Fuck noise level judging. I had to leave a contest early because of panic attacks caused by that shit.

>>7994105
>Not letting your hair grow for 16 years for cosplay accuracy
It's like you aren't even trying

>>7993295
>>7993497
It honestly amazes me just how willing doctors are to hand out benzos like they're candy. This is very much a UK perspective but I imagine it's also true in the US.

The cynic in me thinks it's because they shut people up and keep them out of the clinic. They are not a long term solution, but long term solutions like therapy are expensive for health services to give out, as well as a finite resource that is already overstretched. So we've ended up with it being that instead of therapy and the more expensive/ effective drugs being the first port of call, it's shitty drugs that are cheaper and easier even though they are less effective and have AWFUL side effects.

This is coming from someone who nearly went down a very bad path with benzos. I figured out which symptoms would mean a doctor would hand them over painlessly, and knew how long to leave between each visit to make sure they didn't cotton on that I was abusing them.

>>7994137
I'm the 6mg benzo anon who posted earlier, I actually needed mine but was on the wrong one. In America it's generally harder to get more effective drugs because of the stigma of people abusing them. I had to fight hard to get Xanax, which is the only benzo that helps with my panic attacks. I only take a mg once or twice a week now due to having the right type of medication. I also completely quit clonapin on my own after realizing that raising the dosage wasn't helping and all it was doing was making me dizzy. Here it's mostly Prozac and call it good because a lot of people (not all) don't really have depression, they're just sad.

>>7993413
>>7993526
>get a nice ass instead
anons know what's up

>be naturally incredibly skinny (10 pounds underweight)
>have everyone shit on you for it all the time
>naturally eat a lot, even tried protein diets and no results
>don't feel cute in any of my j-fash clothes
>feel okay in lolita but still self conscious
>ashamed to wear revealing gyaru stuff because of all the skinny comments

I've been getting better but the fact that I get told I look disgusting and like I need help all the time from different people really brings me down. It's starting to affect my private life too now that I have a boyfriend, sigh.

>>7994060
I don't think there's anything wrong with it but good luck finding a man in this day and age who can and will support you financially to do it, though. Most wouldn't.

>>7994170
I already have one, he says he only wants me to be happy.
I already do all the chores and cook so it won't be much trouble.

>>7994166
Sorry but you're dumb.
Your boyfriend wouldn't be dating you if he didn't like you.
And there is literally 0 reason to listen to people that aren't important to you. You probable look fine.

>>7993598
>>7993669
>>7994115

Are we all actually aware that this was an "emotional affair" rather than Chubs fucking some girl on the side?

>>7994197
I'm not doubting my boyfriend at all, there can be other problems besides doubting feelings.
I also never said they weren't people important to me, especially when the biggest contributors are my immediate family ever since I can remember.

>>7994207
Well that sucks that they're family but that still doesn't mean you have to listen to them, you don't choose family.
I've been 10-20 pounds underweight my whole life, and I get the "Wow you're so skinny omg" comments a lot as well.
And tbh, I look fucking great, don't let other people get you down. Especially if you're eating fine and are healthy.

>I fucking hate new captcha ugh

>>7994154
Shit, that's actually totally awful, just in the opposite way. People should be able to have access to drugs that help them out. It's probably people like me who used to abuse the shit out of them that cause all the issues. Granted, I was using them to control my own anxiety/ panic because there was a 6 month waiting list for therapy, but still, I feel like a tool.

>>7994201
>>7993669 here, and yes, I'm aware. Obviously we need a clearer definition of "emotional cheating" here, but if it's become this much of a deal in the friend circle and people are putting the blame on the other girl involved, then I'm guessing whatever happened is not okay in the relationship and a boundary was crossed, even if it wasn't a physical one. That, to me, deserves maybe not quite the same amount of disdain, but the cheater absolutely should be held responsible, and it's shitty that they're shoving it off onto this evil emotional temptress third party.

>>7994201
Yes, I am, and I'd be way more pissed about my partner falling in love with someone else than fucking a stranger. I have been in both situations so can say that, in practise, the fucking bothered me several orders of magnitude less than the emotional cheating.

>>7994201
The issue isn't the cheating, regardless of what kind it was. It's how the bf has behaved.

>>7994166
I feel you, anon. My mother's always telling me that looking at her makes her sick or hurts her heart or other really rude shit like that, my brother insinuates that I have a disorder, other relatives are always asking if I've lost even more weight (when I never lost any to begin with, I just look this way), and guys have told me they wouldn't fuck me because I'm too thin. I guess the best I can say is do your best to love your body for you.

I feel okay in lolita, too, but fashion-wise, I think it's mostly long, elegant things that make me feel the most confident. I wanted to look cute and was bummed that I couldn't pull off other Jfash, but wearing things like what you see on some western runways, really classy and whatnot, has made me feel like a total badass instead. And cosplay, if you're interested, helps as people are always saying "you've got those anime limbs, I'm so jealous" and stuff like that. Good luck to you, fellow skeleton.

>>7994234
>>7994237

We don't even know what "emotional affair" refers to in his case and since the bf's family are absent in his life Chubs could be his closest, almost brother like friend who he's had for years. Of course he's going to side with him.

We really don't have all the info to be saying that the boyfriend is a cunt ra ra ra.

>>7994227
I don't judge you. You did what you could with what you had, it's the people with absolutely nothing wrong with them that take it to get high that are the problem.

>>7994036
I ask because I teach high school and it's one of the things I struggle with the most, those students who have it but just choose not to.

Usually they end up as pregnant teenagers living as white trash so I'm always interested in what triggers a turn around.

I'm glad you were able to escape your bad situation though.

>>7994247
I see. I'm sorry I can't give a more concrete answer. If you really do see potential in the kids, I'm not really sure how involved you can be in their home lives or how much they open up, but I suppose even just being an encouraging voice and making them feel like they really can do anything they set their minds to would probably at least help a few of them.

I know I disliked a lot of the way school functioned, particularly always getting into trouble for dumb things like doodling in class or doing my homework in pen and teachers rejecting it entirely, and I know a lot of other people who feel the same. I think things would be better if, instead of handing out punishments over everything, teachers would take the time to nurture those differences or make bargains about it ("You seem to really like art! This is very important course work, but would you mind drawing me a picture after you finish your homework?" or something like that, I don't know) it could form a positive connection. I'm not trying to imply you're a bad teacher or anything, just thinking a little further about things that may have put me off from school when I really did like learning. I hope you can figure out how to take care of those kids and get them to choose to do well for themselves.

>>7994244
Having a close bond to someone doesn't mean they get a free pass when they fuck up. I understand what you're saying, but my best friend is the closest person in my life and has been for at least seven years, and if she cheated on her SO, I wouldn't coddle her or blame the other person for it. It does show at least a minor problem with the bf's personality, imo, though not necessarily that OP should worry that he'd do the same.

>>7994244
Blind agreement with friends is dangerous and unhealthy for all involved. Friends who are able to reasonably criticise each other (and remain friends) are some of the best kind. Friends who are scared to criticise friends, lest they lose the friendship, are pretty shit.

>>7994133
How did you survive te rest of the con, damn...

Worried relationship anon >>7978237 here again.
update
>Last night having a dinner party for the office I work at
>mom and dad are going, I'm allowed to bring a friend
>bring friend from other post
>they live around an hour away and it was late so I offer the guest room
>they accept
>spend the night
>next morning playing games
>contacts work because schedule issues
>turns out they don't have to work today
>spend the day hanging out
>go thrifting and catch a movie at the cheap college theater
>part ways
>Dad berates me for saying bye so nonchalantly
>gives me "advice"
>tell him I'm fine
>says I'm "making a mistake"

My Dad used to be on the same boat as me, but after they met my parents both of them are hounding me about them.
And to top it off my Mom wants to take them to a play later.

But I seriously don't want to be in a relationship of any kind.
I genuinely and wholeheartedly plan and want to die alone.

I've been really blunt to them about not wanting any relationships, have I been leading them on at this point?
Do I need to just sever my connections to them?
I genuinely didn't mean for any of this to happen like this, I just treated them the same way I treat all my friends.
Now I'm worried I'm some kind of manipulative bastard.

>tfw hunting for secondhand blouses to build up lolita wardrobe
>tfw would prefer to have them asap so primarily checking lj, fb, and lm
>tfw everything is for girls 10+ cm larger than I am

I just need some skinny bitches need to sell me some shit, god damn.

>>7994334
iktf
It's fucking shitty terrible feel ;__;
Why is everyone in this fashion 90+cm

I'll try to keep it /cgl/ related, but, I have a lot of bad feels. I almost feel ashamed posting this here because I feel like it's disrepsectful, but I need to get this stuff out there.

My boyfriend killed himself last week...
He crashed his car into a river. He didn't come home from work, didn't come home the next day, his phone was off, didn't come home the next day. Then the police came to our apartment, they didn't realize that he lived here for a few days because his drivers license didn't have his new address on it.

I feel like absolute shit. I thought everything was fine, going good, didn't see any signs of stress or anything. He's just gone. I took off work, and I've been crying and clutching his belongings, christmas presents, everything and I don't know what to do. His parents offered to let me stay with them for a few weeks since mine live across the country. I'm struggling so much and my life is so scattered and confusing right now. I can't do anything, I can barely eat or sleep. I don't know what to do anymore.

I haven't been on the computer or talking to anyone or doing anything for the entire time until today. Have a few messages from a pissed buyer I sold a dress to a week and a half ago. I feel like total shit, I sent them an email saying I forgot due to a traumatic personal emergency, but I'm unsure if they're going to believe me. I'm not even sure why it bothers me so much but I started bawling as soon as I remembered I forgot about it. I don't know how to tell her or if I should tell her or what I should do or anything, I wonder if she will see this and understand or something, I don't even know why I care...

I've started therapy since last week but I don't know how I can get through all this. I just need something, anything. Fuck.

>>7994187
If you want to be a housewife, you want to be a housewife. Everybody has different wants from life and that's okay.

>>7994350
let her know it's due to a sudden death and if she's still pissed then she'd a heartless bitch. You shouldn't have to drop everything you have on your plate, but you should send the dress ASAP.

>>7994354
Alright, thanks, I did. I hope she understands, I told her I'm planning on sending it out tomorrow and apologized for forgetting. Thanks for the help.

>>7994357
No problem. You have too much to deal with right now to deal with /cgl/'s bitchiness

>>7994364
I've been lurking all the happy image dump threads to try to acclimate myself again. I know there's bullshit on the board, but, /cgl/ is my home board so I want to ease back in as soon as possible.

>years of being single and depressed because of it
>finally meet a girl who likes animu and vidya
>also happens to be super attractive
>actually wants to date me
>were planning to couple cosplay at a con
>dumps me out of the blue after only a month

Back to being a miserable dick. And I knew it was too good to be true the whole time.

>>7994435
>I knew it was too good to be true the whole time.
That self-defeating attitude is probably what killed it.

>>7994187
So I don't see the problem? If you are already in the situation thrn just do it snd be happy?

>Had to give up plans of attending a second con due to $$$
>Missed getting con hotel at first con because my priorities were with the second
>Christmas, SO's birthday, and now my beloved pet getting sick are draining my bank account

I'm sure things will be fine with money but I'm really worried about my pet since that's the most out of control bit. Last few months have not been kind to me, seagulls.

>>7993291
>DTAC this weekend
>friend needs to talk to con organizer about pitching music programming for next year
>go to con with him
>not into it at all
>all the merch is overpriced and tacky
>all the cosplay is sup-par
>there are children and autists (read: teenagers) everywhere
The feel is that I'm old and bitter. I feel like I can't relate to any of these people any more. If I'm sick of cons and nerd culture...what's next?

I guess I still like anime, but it's mostly 80s/90s OVAs. I don't care about new shows, comics, or games.

How do older seagulls deal with feeling alienated from the world of fandoms?

>>7994309
You're the anon who took a "male friend" who previously asked you out to dinner and wondered if you were leading him on isn't it?

The answer is yes btw. Cut that shit out.

>mfw my friends, and also cosplay group, barely talk to me anymore now that I don't have time for cons/cosplay because of work.
>These are people I have known for nearly a decade who were good, close friends.
>Even when I initiate contact it is usually ignored now, be it phone calls or facebook messages/comments. Yet they have time to comment on facebook to tons of other cosplay acquaintances.
>mfw they finally decided to cosplay a group I have been wanting to do forever and could actually make it happen at one con this year, but they didn't even invite me.

I really just don't get it.

>>7994495
I read Japanese magazines for college girls and working ladies, and bitch on here about muh good old days.

>>7994435
Nobody wants to be with someone who's "depressed" because tfw no gf, honestly.

>>7994502
>You're the anon who took a "male friend" who previously asked you out to dinner and wondered if you were leading him on isn't it?

I don't think I am. I posted the archive link in the first line.
Define
>"male friend"
I'm a guy, are you saying you don't believe they're female or are you saying you saw through my deliberate use of gender neutral terminology?
And if you don't have me mixed up with another Anon, I've been doing the inviting and paying for stuff, so please don't think of me as a leech.

I just don't have any desire to form romantic or sexual relationships, I'm not celibate or something, I've debilitated over this for a long time and I'm pretty sure it's just not there for me.
I didn't mean to do any harm, I genuinely think of them as a friend like I do any other friend.

>The answer is yes btw. Cut that shit out.
So, do I just tell them I don't want to hang out ever again or something?
Isn't that way worse than what I've been doing?
I've been VERY clear and upfront to everyone, not just in our circle of friends, but in general people I get to know that I'm not interested in any sort of relationship.
Sexual, romantic, physical, whatever prefixes, I don't want that stuff.
It's not that I have a dislike for it, I'm just not compelled to seek those kinds of relationships.

>>7994550
Tell them that your parents fancy you guys together but you don't feel that way.

>>7994518
Are you me? I'm in a similar situation... I feel your pain anon.

>>7994523
That's a decent plan. I guess I need to learn Japanese now. I can't wait to be able to bitch in two different languages!

>>7994552
I guess that's one of the best ways to say it.

I should also apologize.

>>7994530
I believe it. I've been working on it for years, and can't shake it. I'm pathetic.

>>7994589
That's because if you have clinical depression you often need medicine. It's not like positive thinking will change your brain chemistry.

>>7994589
A little bit. But look on the bright side: deus ex girlfriends don't happen in real life, and usually the depressed person will bring their partner down with them. So it's better that you're single.

>>7994350
I'm so sorry for your loss. sending you love and goodwill.

>>7994555
It's the worst way to find out how your friends value you.

>>7994589
if you've tried regulating your sleep cycle (7-8 every night, no excuses), eating and drinking the way you know you should, and doing appropriate cardio already, it might be time to see a doctor about medication to help you out.

if you are too depressed to try those things, it might be time to see a doctor about medication to help you out.

>>7994518
>tfw iktf
>why do groups i start keep abandoning me
>why can't i stop wanting to do things with people

>>7994350
Just say you had a life emergency and get her shipping info asap. No need to go to details.

You got a long road ahead, the hard thing is to know it's not your fault. If everything seemed alright there was simply nothing that could have changed. You are going to sit through in your head and play it out, everything you could have done. But in the end you have to realize there's nothing to do but keep all the pieces of the good times in your head.

>>7993584
What the fuck is an emotional affair, is that one of them tumblr memes?

>>7994790
google it before you make an idiot of yourself.
i heard the term first as a kid back in Conservativeland, USA, and it's widely used across Anglo culture as far as i can tell.

>>7994790
It's actually kind of the opposite, like thinking of the other person as your girlfriend/boyfriend, going through the motions of having a serious relationship but stopping just short of having sex. It's sort of a "muh purity" thing I think. I don't really get it, but I think it happens when people don't have friends of the opposite gender outside of dating. I'm also an autist though, so dating to me just means "friend I have sex with"

>>7993291
>tfw finally studying design after wanting to do it since i was five
>tfw mom suggest i pick a different major because she thinks its bad for my health
i mean im loosing sleep on some projects but i dont think i've been this happy since i was in solong

>>7993897
Thank you so much, anon! I love those pink shoes, they are exactly the kind of light colour I love to wear! <3

>>7994817
Wow, yeah, you really don't get it.

>>7994812
Whatever, nigger.

>>7994817
It's actually more like being infatuated with someone else to the point where it fucks up your actual relationship.

>>7994833
that's what I was trying to say, but I guess because I'm lacking emotional connections like that I couldn't phrase it right? Like thinking of someone as your partner when you're already dating someone, but not having sex? An emotional purity thing?

I'm sorry for being so retarded, I just want to understand it.

>>7994837
No, it's like...

Okay hypothetical


You're dating Tim. You're also really good friends with Bill. You hang out with Bill a LOT, because you really like Bill, he's like your BFF. You end up spending so much time with Bill, that your relationship with Tim starts to go down the tubes. You may be avoiding Tim on purpose, or it might be an accident and you don't realize that it's happening.

You don't even necessarily have to want to be with Bill.

>>7994840
So you mean, spending too much time with bill that you're ignoring Tim?

Thank you for trying, I'm really sorry that I'm having a hard time grasping this.

>>7994865
Yes. It's when you become emotionally attached to another person and spend so much time with them that it interferes with your regular relationship. "Affair" suggests it's on purpose, but it occasionally happens without the offending party knowing what they're doing. Emotions are funny.

>>7994589
I don't believe it.

any math majors here

>>7994840
This is me. But Bill is my cat. Tim is upset because he thinks I love Bill more. I really can't say either way.

>>7994871
I think I get it now, sort of. Things become 10x more difficult to understand if you're basically unable to experience it. I guess for you, it's like trying to explain colors that clash to someone who can only see in shades of grey.

>Move into new country
>Don't speak local language
>Contact local comm leader to join comm
>She speaks English and lets me into the fb page
>Message about meetups or secret santa
>Subverted replies about "maybe another time" "Everyone's busy" "maybe in December (In October)" and "Maybe in January (In December)"
>See today 6-7 girls post food & meetup photos at a fancy hotel from yesterday
>cry

Am I being sidelined? Or am I just overthinking it? I don't have any lolita pictures in my fb, and I don't speak their language. They said something about an early December thing in October, and I feel it just happened without me. The comm leader's been nice enough in any PMs. Maybe they just forgot about me? Or they don't want me there because they think I'm an ita/would be awkward if we can't communicate?

>>7994350
I'm so sorry for your loss.
I'm not going to pretend like I know what you're going through, but I do know it's something nobody should have to.

I've made similar attempts in the past, all of them resulted in failure.
For the longest time struggling with my depression, laying there wishing I would just die, I can't, only for me to question why.
I'm a shut in, a social recluse, an asshole, but I care deeply about people, and now I'm thinking I can't actually do it because deep down, I know.

I know that no matter how much I push people away, they still care about me.
As do I to them.
To more people than I realize.
Just like your boyfriend, I don't even know who he is, but he's affected me deeply because of this.
And my goal in life has been to help as many people as I can, to be good to people.
And I just can't bring myself to do it, I'd rather suffer through a personal hell than do this to anyone.
No matter how personal my relationship is to them.

>>7994891
What's good, nigger, Aerospace Engineer, aka Rocket Scientist up in this bitch.

>>7994911
Depends a lot on which country. I'd learn the language basics, stat. Maybe ask the comm leader about the way to be invited to meets and how they do things.

>>7993641
Mail a box of frills to yourself, focus on new place to cure bf woes.

>>7994898
Cats before... idk stupid boys?

Cats are forever, anon, just remember that.

>>7994911
No offense anon, but not speaking the language is kind of a deal breaker for making friends, unless the language you speak is something there's a more common fluency in. It's really awkward trying to communicate through gestures.

>>7994898
No, I'm upset because your cat is a lame piece of shit. if it was a cool cat, I wouldn't mind half as much. What you have is a furry loaf of bread.

>>7994931
Boyfriends try and show off their inferior hunting skill by BUYING you food, cats will catch it themselves and bring you the best part in bed. Not to mention cats like heavy petting so much more and will sleep afterwards instead of trying to bone you.

>Lost a lot of weight
>Still in plus-size territory but in normal (American) sizing now
>Boyfriend gave his blessing to let me buy what I wanted for Christmas
>Want to buy lolita so badly but I might be going out of the country for a job opportunity soon
>Don't really want anything else

It's been 5 years since I last bought lolita. I don't want Bodyline to be honest. I want at least two outfits, but I'm pretty much kicking my own ass mentally for wanting lolita. It's not like I could wear it wherever I'm going publicly either.

I just nabbed an Angelic Pretty dress for under 30 dollars on a second hand site.
>Has matching head accessory
>Though this is after buying Sugary Carnival and Celestial in the same week
>Bank account hates me, but closet loves me

>looking at old pics of myself circa 2010
>I've gained 20lbs since then
>feel like a landwhale
>recent order from taobao confirms this
>things barely fit or sit awkwardly on my non-petite frame
>spiralling deep into depression

I started gaining weight ever since I started taking birth control pills. I've been off them for a year and half now but eating healthy and exercise hasn't caused any weight loss (probably because I have an IUD).

I'm at a loss at what to do. I just want to wear cute clothes. My friends buying cute clothes left and right aren't helping either. Especially when they complain about being fat at a size 4. I'm a size 8. Is starving myself the only answer?

>tfw no lolita gf

>>7994995
WHOA! Which one was it?

>>7994995
It's the Bloom OP in pink, I have the matching head accessory, and I love the quality of the lace flowers.

>>7995020
>>7995024
i fucked up

>>7995012
>I started gaining weight ever since I started taking birth control pills. I've been off them for a year and half now but eating healthy and exercise hasn't caused any weight loss (probably because I have an IUD).
Really? You kow that the "weight gain due to birth controll pill" is mostly a myth? It might be some other problem, Anon. Most women take pills or have another form of birth controll and don't gain weight. Either something is wrong with your exercise, your diet or you might want to see a doctor.

>I'm at a loss at what to do. I just want to wear cute clothes. My friends buying cute clothes left and right aren't helping either. Especially when they complain about being fat at a size 4. I'm a size 8.

>friends complaining about being fat at size 4
Tell them to stfu. Nothing is more anoying then people complaining about being fat, especially when said person isn't even fat. They don't really think they're fat, they just want to have attention and positive reenforcement aka "Oh but friend x you're sooo thin and pretty!" It's bullshit.

>Is starving myself the only answer?
Starving yourself is never the answer. YOu either go right inot the Jojo-effect once you stop starving yourself, or spiral right into an ED. Either way is unhealthy.
Go see a doctor Anon, they might be able to help you find out what's wrong.

>>7995024
One of my wishlist dresses! Where did you see it?

>>7995034
http://global.rakuten.com/en/store/auc-grandbazaar/
They usually have secondhand for reasonable prices! I was able to get a few dresses for under a 100 each from them. The only thing is that they ship everything via EMS, so I usually shop from them in mind that everything will be 20 dollars more.

So I'm about to get Ritalin, first time in my life taking any sort of serious medication and I was wondering if anyone here has experience with it? Also does it cause any change in weight since i heard some things about that and I'd like to still fit in my clothes and cosplay

> tfw somewhat nervous about medication

>>7995027
>Most women take pills or have another form of birth controll and don't gain weight.
Perhaps I should've went into more detail. I believe when I started taking the pill my appetite increased like crazy, causing me to gain weight. I didn't notice for a long while though since the weight gain was gradual and I always wore loose, oversized things anyway. I started dieting and exercise after getting off the pill, which allowed me to lose about 10 lbs. However, I got an IUD and I gained back 7 lbs in the 8 months I've had it.

>you might want to see a doctor
I've brought it up with my doctor but she said not to be concerned since my BMI is still normal and I'm exercising.

>spiral right into an ED
I know it's wrong but part of me doesn't mind this. Looking at post-ED recovery pics, those girls still look pretty damn skinny. If that's what it takes to get this weightloss kickstarted then so be it. Though maybe I should see a different doctor if that's my mentality now. Thanks for the response anon.

>>7995066
Just wanted to clarify that the pills made my appetite increase. Ever since getting off the pill and even after getting an IUD, my appetite is down to normal, yet I still managed to gain more weight eating 1000~1200kcal a day.

>>7993295
So I have been to many psychiatrists. First off, I have never had one that spent more than 30 minutes with me, and most only spend about 10. They are only there to assess what you need from a medical standpoint, not listen to why you have these issues. Although if they aren't gathering all the necessary information like side effects & issues like that then they are being negligent. A psychiatrist is a medical doctor that deals in prescribing psychiatric drugs. This type of doctor is usually depicted on TV as having clients lay on a sofa & tell him/her about all their problems, this is a misnomer, psychiatrists decide what your symptoms are and try to correct them with drugs. a PSYCHOLOGIST (not psychiatrist) is the one who actually uses therapeutic consoling & psychological analysis to help the client to understand why they have these issues, then they can logically understand themselves & make a more informed decision on how to deal & overcome their psychological malady.
For example: I used to deal with extreme symptoms associated with anxiety from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. (no, I'm not a soldier, I'm just a woman who has seen some shit in my semi-young life) My anxiety was awful, I tried so many antidepressants (SSRIs, SNRIs) I tried Wellbutrin (first one they put me on) Paxil (tried this for 1 yr. or more, stopped working) Zoloft, Cymbalta, Ambilify (made me feel like I was crazy, and gave my symptoms of "Pseudo-Parkinsonianism") & finally I was put on Celexa, along with Xanax (when needed, not daily) the Celexa decision was a suggestion from my therapist (psychologist) she made the suggestion to my psychiatrist as she had seen a lot of success with minimal side effects for people who had been dealing with the same symptoms as me. So what I am trying to say here is that it took me years to find the right medication to help me to deal with my anxiety/depression. Our brains are so complex, (To be continued in next post)

>>7993295
They don't even know exactly how SSRIs and SNRIs actually work in our brains. The most important thing is that your BF is very HONEST with his psychiatrist, and if he isn't seeing a psychologist then how is he going to process his symptoms in a healthy way? Pills aren't a cure all. They are meant to be prescribed in conjunction with therapy. That is one thing that makes me so annoyed by when a family doctor prescribes a freaking psychoactive drug to a teen and thinks that it will cure their depression. COME ON NOW! Seriously? So here is the deal. Your bf needs to tell the doctor exactly whats happening. He can't just quit taking the drugs he is taking so please don't tell him to stop, you aren't a doctor and should never tell someone to do something you don't know about. If he has been taking the benzos daily then he could very well be physically addicted and the withdrawals can be life threatening. (not usually, but I'm trying to get you to understand the seriousness of you thinking you know what's best for someone when it comes to a medical situation, you don't - the doctor (usually) does. I know you were just trying to help & the common sense thing to do when something is making someone feel bad is to stop it, but sometimes it's not necessarily the case. Anyhow, I never had any issue with the benzos, they worked wonderfully on my panic attacks. I only took one when I needed it, or when I couldn't sleep. I think they work better that way, you don't develop a tolerance, so they always work when you need it. I think that Valium or Xanax are the best ones, Xanax works the quickest but is also the shortest acting. I think the best mode of action is to try to correct the chemical issue in his brain with SSRIs, (finding the right one is key) the xanax is NOT a permanent fix, its just a temp. fix that will either keep someone from having a panic attack or stop one that is already occurring (that is what I used it for.) (continued )

>>7993295
SSRIs (or SNRIs ) for that matter are used to actually help fix the chemical issue in the persons' brain. When the correct one is found (all SSRIs work on serotonin receptors, the are "sub serotonin receptors in our brains and different SSRIs work on different serotonin receptors, thus working differently for different people and different psychological disorders) SNRIs work on the neurotransmitter Norepinephrine, they all deal with the re-uptake of that specific neurotransmitter. If you want to know exactly how they work, just wiki it, its super interesting and I think quite fascinating. Anyhow, because different drugs work on different receptors & everyone is different, it can be very difficult to know which one will work for other people. It took me years to get the right one. I personally don't think that his doctor made a bad decision to put him on Wellbutrin, most SSRIs have a side effect that says they MAY cause anxiety, the thing is, they also MAY cause the client to be suicidal or homicidal or in my case, one made me want to play with my moms hair... (I know weird) Anyways, what I am saying is that reading the side effects of a drug is a fear inducer. Side effect lists are ridiculous, they put all these crazy things are their to cover their asses. But most of them can happen, but just because they are listed doesn't mean they will. I take Celexa, a side effect is that it could cause anxiety, but it is used to treat anxiety and depression. See the issue? Obviously if the drug has the adverse effects that last then its not the right one for that client... I never had awful side effects from the SSRIs except for if I didn't have any or if I forgot to take one. I usually would get a headache and weird head rushes, but that was only when I was taking Paxil, so IDK if anyone else experienced that, but it was a weird sensation. Anyhow, I think it is important that you talk to your bf about your concerns, make sure he's being honest with his psychiatrist.

>tfw trans man
>tfw cant wear anything feminine or your doctor will take away hormones
pls just let me be the huge faggot in frills

>>7993295
Tell him about the benefits of seeing a therapist(psychologist) & make sure you talk to him in a caring and open way. Don't make him feel judged or feel forced to do something. Make him feel like he has his psychological health in his hands and you care for him, and are there to aid him in any way you can. Don't tell him he has to go or that he's acting awful, just tell him you care and want to help him get back to his happy awesome self. It is a better approach and usually has better results. Just remember his psychological health is his decision and only his, you can't force someone to get better, they have to want it and strive for it. Otherwise it won't happen. It requires a TON on willpower to just learn to live with a mental health issue, overcoming them can in some cases be impossible so don't expect perfection or a miracle. But be supportive of him if he decides to do this, and be there for him if he needs you. Mental health issues are very hard to deal with, for the significant other its very hard bc you have to watch your loved one suffer and there isn't anything you can do to soothe their pain. Its awful, but imagine your pain at their suffering and multiply it times 100. That is the pain they are feeling. Just love him, be there for him, and point out the logics of a situation when he is having symptoms of his issues. Its important not to coddle the person, but be there in a way that makes sure they are kept rooted in reality and pushed to succeed without being too overbearing. Its a difficult balance, but it can be done. My BF did it for me & I honestly don't deal with my symptoms anymore THANKFULLY. I had a wonderful therapist & the right meds & I am fine now. But this will only happen if he is proactive about it. You need a good therapist, a supportive family/signif other, & the right meds. If you have these things there is a very high chance of success. Sorry this is so long, I just wanted to share my experience & try to help. GOOD LUCK

>Contract with job I loved was over two months ago
>They can't keep me because of office policies
>Can't find new job
>Have really specific curriculum with a masters degree and post-grad studies
>Nobody in my area will hire me because my curriculum is too specific
>Not even mcdonalds will hire me because I have higher education than any of the managers
>Don't have money to buy anything or to move on with my life
>Have nothing to do except for watching anime
>Going back to depression and sleeping 16 hours a day like I used to

I don't want this, I want a job, how do I do this

The amount which I hate my own face is getting unbearable.
It's taken me my whole life to accept that I can deal with most of it, although I will get a nosejob. There's no way I can really change the rest and still be 'me'.
But I've suddenly gotten the beginning of wrinkles around my mouth and nose. I'm already coping with the ones on my forehead and above my eyebrows.

I don't know how I can cope with this, I feel so old and ugly already and I'm only in my twenties. I keep telling myself that there's so much more fun left in life for me to have, but I can't imagine myself being that cool person who goes to cool parties and stuff if I look so sad and worn out so fast.

>tfw you love ur best friend to pieces
>tfw she wants to be a Lolita
>she is not ugly, tall and slim
>tfw you help her so much to complete her first coord but u never could tell her that she is beautiful without lying.
>I really love her but she will never be a Lolita in my eyes....

> bought new lingerie
> it looks awesome
> food is good
> skin problems almost gone, no longer orange dry spots everywhere, skin is almost like it was before this shit began six years ago
> no need to buy expensive bad smelling creams and meds to keep skin normal
> make-up, here I come
> now I can finally start making us couple cosplays, bf is hyped
> made a new friend who is interested in doing lolita right, spend hours linking all relevant information, help her buy the magical first coord
> life in general is good

>>7995094
same
>tfw theres always ouji
>tfw its not the same

>>7994550
Are you the asexual anon who was trying to buy a friendzone gift like a month ago or something. I feel you though it's hard when others don't understand not wanting a relationship.

>>7995110
It looks like it's time to dumb your resume down to be "accessible".

>>7995164
That will leave me with 8 years between high-school and some volunteering work with no experience at all, as I've been studying that whole time... Which, as far as I've heard, is not good looking for employers either

>>7995135
Learn Resting Bitch Face and get on your skincare double time now or you'll be in the shit by the time you are in your 30's.
Start retinols/retinoids, start saving for injections/plumpers, stay out of the sun like a vampire.
Some of it is possible to reverse and stave off, for the rest, there's science...and the payoff of getting old and wise and evil and delightfully crabby.

>>7995110
Expand your skillset to be less specific to your curriculum. Tack on shit like communication skills, leadership, blah blah etc. The dedication and perseverance required (imo) to get a masters is worth something on paper, even if the masters itself isn't outside of that field.

>>7995198
In my resume I detail all I did as work experience, which includes leading some interesting projects and communicating. Maybe I should apply for oral presentations at congresses with the couple of studies I did on my area, that would raise up "communication skills" field, I suppose.

Still, I'm in a medical field and people are always looking for stuff I can't do (because I have no experience in them, since I directed my studies to my area of preference. Which was a dumb thing, but I thought it would be ok at the time)

>>7995176
Lie about having work experience in such a way it can't be comproved. Like "I spent three months working at my uncles house" or "volunteering for the red cross" and shit.

>>7994201
It's worse than physical cheating.

I could get over my hubby having a one night stand with a club slut but not his romantically bonding with any other girl even if he doesn't touch her.

>>7993928
When I had long hair I was afraid of it catching on fire. Not anyone doing it deliberately but just having it catch fire. But that was mostly due to having it catch fire once. For the most part I just hated it and wished that someone would cut it off because my grandma wouldn't let me cut it growing up and it was just too much hair for a kid to take care of.

My feels aren't very immediate.

I just want to go to a con and be around the community and enjoy the scene. I haven't been to one in 3 years. But I have to put my money aside for other things instead. Oh how troublesome.

I really did enjoy the con I went to and the experience in general. (Went by myself which kind of improved it in a way. I was completely surrounded by strangers - made things very novel for me.)

>tfw I finally get promoted after working my ass off for more then a year.
>tfw I am about to get promoted again.
>tfw I am super close to quitting my job because in the last month I have been sexually harassed by customers more then 15 times.
>tfw when one attempted to assault me last night, but I'm strong enough that I punched him and managed to scare him off.
>tfw your manager refuses to let you call the police about it because where it happened there is no camera.

I'm just so fucking tired of this bullshit, and people wonder why I tend to not date black men.

>be lolita who's attracted to girls
>find out cutest girl in your comm is also attracted to girls
>both already in committed relationships
>god damn it

I only ever seem to find cute girls who are interested in lolita AND women when I'm already seeing someone else. Cursed.

>>7995259
but anon, das raaaaayciiiis
where do you work for that to happen btw?

>>7995259
If you live in the US get a firearm, take instruction, and carry it. If not, then I would suggest arming yourself with whatever means of defense is legal. Don't be a victim.

I really hate Innocent World's customer service these days. Everything I want is sold out now and I haven't even gotten an email about saying that I didn't get the item. Their web store being closed so often is such a pain. I don't think I will be ordering from them anymore.

>>7994790
>What the fuck is an emotional affair
I wasn't sure myself, honestly. So yesterday night I asked my bf more about his little hangout and what exactly an emotional affair is.

The way my bf explained what happened to Chubs sounded a lot like what this anon explained >>7994833.
Basically Chubs and this other woman work in the same company together. They got paired on this project they were working on so I guess they got around to talking, and the talking got gradually more intimate and serious. Or at least enough to fuck with Chubs' personal decisions. I guess Chubs said a few things he shouldn't have and it went too far, etc.

Though honestly, they were probably going a lot worse than that (I'm implying they must have been sexting or something similar). Because it wouldn't make any sense as to why some stupid puppy love at work would have gotten that out of hand.

>>7994115
Don't worry anon, he's not a bro in the least. He just gets defensive about his friends because they're like his family. Even his bitch mother didn't welcome us for Thanksgiving despite driving 4 hours to their place to meet them...

>>7995066
>>7995067
>I've brought it up with my doctor but she said not to be concerned since my BMI is still normal and I'm exercising.
If you really eat well and exercise as much as you say you should not gain that much weight (unless you gain muscles, but I doubt you do the exercise to gain 7 lbs of muscles within 8 month. But I'm not an expert there).
Honestly, there is simply no reason why you don't lose weight if you eat right and exercise. Either you have a medical condition like a thyroid disfunction or anything wrong with your hormones or whatever, or you're doing something wrong.
>I still managed to gain more weight eating 1000~1200kcal a day.
Unless you're very small and petite I am not sure if that is a reasonable amount of calories for someone who also exercises probably a few times a week. And if you really eat that small amount of calories you should lose weight.
Seriously Anon, go see another doctor, a nutritionist or whatever and find out the real reason why you don't lose weight. As said, either it has medical reasons or something in your diet is not working.

>I know it's wrong but part of me doesn't mind this. Looking at post-ED recovery pics, those girls still look pretty damn skinny. If that's what it takes to get this weightloss kickstarted then so be it. Though maybe I should see a different doctor if that's my mentality now. Thanks for the response anon.
If you seriously consider following ED behaviour go see someone professional. Seriously, that shit is not a nice diet you can easily go on and off as soon as you're "skinny", it's a fucking dangerous illness that will do long term damage to your health, appareance and mental state.
Please Anon, don't do this. I'm sure you are beautiful and attractive and bright, don't fall for an ED. Believe me, it's not worth it.

>be me
>visited the ballet with my sister and mother this weekend
>neither a very big nor uber formal event, but still dress in Classic Lolita because hey, finally an opportunity to dress up!
>Little sister is really excited, puts on her best dress as well since she loves dressing up too

>we arrive
>we're completly overdressed although my coord is pretty toned down and nothing too fancy
>everyone stares at us because we're obviously overdressed
>about half of the people are in jeans/t-shirt/pullover/sneakers
>wtf is wrong with normalfags

Is my country just shitty, or is going to the ballet (which is at least to me a semi formal evening event) in jeans an t-shirt appropriate anywhere else? I mean, it's not the state opera or a super formal black tie event but to me showing up in jeans, sneakers and other super casual attire with unkept hair seems does not seem to be appropriate.

>>7995358
What country/area were you in?

>>7995358
It depends on how popular it is amongst the normal folks. When I went to the opera in Budapest, I saw people wearing Crocs

>>7995358
Depends on the ballet, my parents and I usually go for anything from smart casual to semi-formal depending on the program. In some cases it's okay, in others it isn't. What did you go see?
But yeah, jeans and trainers usually shouldn't be worn for that occasion.

>>7995366
to be fair Crocs don't have the "ewwwww" status in Europe as they do in the States, just like Birkenstocks. It's still inappropriate of course but not as much.

>>7995370
I live in Europe, at least in my country they are "ew" shoes unless you work in a hospital

>>7995365
Germany

>>7995366
It wasn't a very big house (as said, nothing like the state opera or something like that). But still nothing small or extremly casual. But at least I didn't see anyone wearing Crocs, haha.

>>7995367
We saw "Sleeping Beauty"! I admit I forgot to mention it was a special version that was supposed to be appropirate for children/young adults especially. But as said, it was not supposed to be a super casual event as it was still a professional ballet in a big event hall where I definitely would not consider Jeans/T-shirt/sneakers as an appropriate outfit. Many people did not even wear smart causal, just... Casual. Like they'd go to the grocery store. I also heard quite a few snarky remarks about why I was so "dressed up" and "I'd NEVER do this, it's so ridiculous to dress up for an event, haha!"

>>7995370
Ah ha no. Maybe in shit-hole ex-USSR yes, but not anywhere near my place and never ever at the opera.

>>7995378
Well I mean, Sleeping Beauty... You did sound a tad overdressed for the occasion, especially when it's "child-friendly". I mean you shouldn't wear trainers or anything but a LBD or something with some simple updo would have been more fitting.

>>7995381
>ex-USSR
I live in Finland. And I never implied it should be worn at the opera, I even said it's still inappropriate.
People here just don't give a shit about what you wear on your feet when you go outside and mind their own business instead of gossiping about it like 16yo prostitots.

>>7995382
Nah, what suprised me wasn't that I was overdressed (I was wearing Classic Lolita and already expected to be overdressed) but how much I was actually overdressed and how many people just came in so super casual outfits such as jeans and sneakers.
As said, I knew I was going to be overdressed but I did not expect almost everyone else to be so underdressed. I did not expcet everyone to wear a ball gown or a tuxedo but at least put a little effort in your appareance if you go out for the evening? It looked especially stupid since of course most of the children were dressed up in their most princess like dressed while their moms wore an unkept top knot, jeans, converse and stared at me like I was wearing a super fancy ball gown to the supermarket - like I was the one being super out of place and being inappropriate just because I spend more than 5 minutes on my appareance and wore a dress.

>>7995370

>to be fair Crocs don't have the "ewwwww" status in Europe as they do in the States

Yes, they do. People wearing them outside of work where they can, sometimes, be comfortable and handy, are fucking disgusting.

>>7995191
Thank you anon, I know nothing about retinols/retinoids so I'll start on that and go in the skincare threads more.
Bless you.

>>7995027
>They don't really think they're fat, they just want to have attention and positive reenforcement
I don't know who you hang out with, but not everyone who says that is an attention whore or looking for validation.

>>7995393
So you'd wear crocs at work but not at the store or in your own backyard? kek
>judging people for wearing comfort shoes outside of a place with a dress code

>>7995402
I only ever see Crocs-wearing workers in hospitals and medical related places. It's okay to wear them at the beach or to pop them on childs under 6, but not in any other public settings. Your backyard is ok. The store is a social zone, you're not supposed to go over there in your pajamas either.

>>7995399
>I don't know who you hang out with, but not everyone who says that is an attention whore or looking for validation.
I didn't mean eveyone who says that is an attention whore or doing it for validation, but if Anon's friends are all about size 4 and are ALL complaining about being fat, chances they re doing it because they want some kind of positive validations are pretty high. They might not even do this on purpose, but either that or they have a false picture about what is a healthy weight or a wrong body image.

>>7995405
good thing they aren't pyjamas then.

>tfw Lacemarket is down

>>7995358
>everyone stares at us because we're obviously overdressed
So what?
You wear fashion for YOURSELF.
If it's not a formal event, then of course people are going to dress casual and likely what is comfortable for them.

Did anyone compliment you? Or did everyone just give you the stink eye? Usually I can tell that I'm dressed in a classy way because people remark on how nicely dressed I am, or they say they like what I'm wearing. Whenever I hear about stories where people got side-eyed it's more to do with the fact that they look ridiculous.

>>7995412
They are equally unaccaptable to wear in public though

>>7995562
I don't give a shit, I'm not getting dressed up just to go to my nearest Siwa.

>>7995579
Dude, just put some normal shoes on, it's not that hard.

>>7994350
I'm so sorry anon, I had my mom, my dad, and my stepdad pass away in a short period of time, and this happened when I was 16, I'm 18 now. So it's been 2 years or more of dealing with deaths and what not. What I personally did was I tried going to doctors but it doesn't always help. I also tried forgetting about it and not thinking of it and that's what helped me, but it's not honestly dealing with the problem. You're going to need time to heal and someone to lean on.

>>7993440
well, western Europe isn't all that good anyway. The only places with low crime rates seem to be middle and northern Europe.

>>7995579
>putting on sneakers/flat to go to the store
>getting dressed up
Exactly how white trash are you?

>just got a dress I preordered delivered
>dress is a goal dress to help lose more weight
>I try it on to see how much more to lose/motivate me to work out even more
>mfw I underestimated how much weight and inches I've already lost and the dress fits
>tfw I realize I can fit into half-shirred brand now

>>7995627
Congratulations, anon. I'm happy for you.

>>7995616
yes, but western Europe is always seen as this beacon of civilisation and beauty while everyone is still stuck in the 80s portraying Eastern Europe as some criminal breeding ground which it is for the most part not. Unless you count govt corruption, but even that isn't exclusive to us.
I mean yeah we're poor as all fuck but we've been poor for a while, aside from hookers we don't have much street crime and the cities are safe. It just gets tiring listening to people from places like the fucking USA where someone gets shot every second tell their children "oh don't go there, it's dangerous!"

I mean maybe people won't be able to speak English all that well but I doubt anyone would bully you.

>>7995629
Thanks, anon!

>>7995619
100%, kid.

>>7993922

Buy one. They go for 30-40 dollars for an okay one. Make sure it's silicone. And don't get a freakish, huge, spiky one.

Unmarked box is standard.

>>7995144
>skin problems almost gone

This is a good feeling.

>had been breaking out awfully for last few months
>finally found the issue and fixed it (after trying a million different things)
>skin clearing up, no new zits, waiting for old discoloration to heal up
>can almost go outside without makeup now

Heaven.

>>7995636

>I'm just tired of these stereotypes. Here is stereotypes about where you live!

>>7995679
Are you saying the news are lying now?

>>7995285
>im worried about being attacked
>'get a gun'
/k/ get the hell out lmfao mace would work fine

>>7995683
Well, not everywhere in the USA is a lawless hellhole where you're liable to get shot in the face at any moment. I assume. I'm not actually American.

>>7995690
>implying

>>7995690
>not everywhere in the USA is a lawless hellhole where you're liable to get shot in the face at any moment
Unless you're black.

>>7995687
>not getting nunchucks and a blunderbuss

>>7995683

Lying? Not exactly

Over reporting/twisting facts/generally sensationalizing stuff? Definitely

>>7995654
>make sure it's silicone
>Don't get a good one

What is with this horrible advice?
Vanilla, please go missionary someplace else, preferably with a sheet separating you from your unfortunate lover.

>>7995683
If exaggeration, sensationalism, a lack of fact checking and a lack of concern for validity isn't lying then I'm a goddamn saint.

>>7995696
>Unless you're not black and live in a black neighborhood, or Detroit
Fixed that for you.
It's the cops that kill black babies, but it's the blacks that kill more people of other races than other races do of blacks. (based on annual averages)

>>7995715
The homicide rate in the US is still bigger than in any Eastern European country. And yes, that's even when adjusted to the population rates. Besides, you're the ones whining about muh harassment all the fucking time.

>friend makes a post on facebook about how she's going to Japan in a few months
>she's a student and doesn't work while in school
>have no idea how the fuck she's affording it
>think that maybe she's only paying from some of her loan money or mom and dad
>mfw I suddenly feel a bit better
I know I'm petty, but it rustles me how people similar to my situation (with her it's the difference that I work and go to school) can magically afford to do the things that I can't.
I guess realistically I could take out a significant amount of loan money and go too, but eh. I just wish I could afford it on my own dime.
>tfw no rich mom and dad
My parents are the type who look after themselves first anyway. They'd much sooner take their own vacation overseas before they'd put a penny towards sending my ass to Japan. Not that I can blame them, I'd be a selfish parent too.

>>7995329
>Seriously Anon, go see another doctor, a nutritionist or whatever and find out the real reason why you don't lose weight. As said, either it has medical reasons or something in your diet is not working.
>Please Anon, don't do this. I'm sure you are beautiful and attractive and bright, don't fall for an ED. Believe me, it's not worth it.

Thank you anon. I really appreciate your responses. I have scheduled an appointment with my doctor to see if we can figure out why I've gained weight. I match some of the s/s of hypothyroidism so now I'm worried that may be it. Hopefully I don't resort to extreme methods like an ED. Thank you.

>>7993415
Where do you live? India?

>>7995758
My neighbors blow their student loan money on things like buying more and more pets (they practically have their own zoo), video games, TVs, weed, etcetera. They blew through their 16k combined disbursement in a week and I see them get 3-day notices for rent (I assume, timing is right) on their door every month. They're nice people so I end up cringing inside every time I think of how much they're screwing themselves over.

>>7995769
She already said she lives in Spain.

>>7995275
A drug store. Also I can say that because I'm ambiguously brown.

>>7995285
Yeah I live in the US. The thing is that this is happening during work hours... And the only gun I have is a shot ugh which you can't really carry around with you, especially since I rely on public transportation. It's just there was another girl who used to work at my job that was basically the town ho and the two of us look a like so these men think I'm her. It doesn't help that they're all drunk I just am so fucking tired of it.

>>7995725
Yes, but is that in raw numbers of homicides or is that in percentage of deaths per capita?
The USA has a much bigger population than all of the Eastern European countries combined, so naturallt more population density, more homicides, but in percentages, your country's numbers are probably not all that great either. Glass houses anon, please try to discern the holes in your arguments before you start bad mouthing places you don't know as much about as you think.

>>7995358
I live in DC and here on the website for the Kennedy Center and the Warner Theater they both say that they would prefer for you to dress up a bit but would rather you attend in jeans and a T-shirt then nothing. With the ballets it depends of which company your seeing preform as to how you should dress. There are like 5 that are always in town then you have the ones that travel. Heck back in elementary school when we went to the ballet/opera/symphony the permission slip stated that we needed to dress up too.

>>7995771
...What will they do?
I mean shit, you can't declare bankruptcy from student loans if you're American, all you can do is defer. But then again, student loans are getting so fucking ridiculous I almost don't blame people for going all out at this point. I guess if I was past the point of no return I'd spend all I could get from the government too.

That's really sad.

>>7995782
I'm not that anon (and I think she's being oversensitive for sure), but even per capita, the USA isn't doing so hot. You're one of the safer countries in the Americas (Canada being an obvious exception), but that's REALLY not saying much.

I want to go out for a night on the town dressed in Lolita with friends in a big city at an even bigger con. Eat at a nice restaurant then go shopping and just take in the city. Somehow despite my hatred of crowds and busy places I just love big cities, especially at night.

>>7995790
I get what you're saying, but I don't agree with you.
I think I'll leave it at that.

>>7995809
Maybe it's because in a big crowd, especially at nighttime, you're literally "lost in the crowd" -- there are so many people that you don't have to worry about people taking special attention of you and it's easy to just blend into the masses? At least that's why I feel that way.

>>7995815
I'm kind of interested in hearing your reasoning.

>>7995782
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_countries_by_intentional_homicide_rate
sorry bro

>>7995815
You can't just shut down a discussion by covering your ears and refusing to accept facts. Whether or not you agree is completely irrelevant to whether something is true or not.

>tfw no one will ever accurately cosplay your waifu.
>tfw everyone who has tried looks fucking disgusting even trying.

>tfw going to have to settle with making a life-sized statue of waifu in order to fulfill craving.

One day...one day.

>>7995822

Lithuania, Moldova, Belarus, Estonia, Albania, Latvia all have as bad or worse rates as USA.

Also, you are safe as long as you don't live in an inner city with strict gun laws.

>shitty map related
It was the best I could find quick

>>7995951
Who's your waifu?

>>7995934
Simply because I don't want to further derail the thread doesn't mean I have my head in the sand.
There are trade offs when living anywhere, and I can accept the ones we make in the US. I would much prefer to stay in the US until such a time when it's policies start mirroring the more socialist friendly politics that's going on in the EU.
You might not think that that is at all related, but it very much is. Think on it.

>>7995822
By that map, it looks like the difference between your shitty countries and my shitty country is minimal. Fuck Africa though.

>>7995957
>Inner city
>strict gun laws
New York is a shit show right now and it's these two things they have to thank. All of the criminals can get guns no problem, but they've made it impossible for citizens to own defensive weapons without becoming fugitives themselves.

>>7995958
Evelynn.

Her proportions are impossible, but I'd have been satisfied with several different cosplays if only the cosplayer actually accurately made the costume.

>>7995968
Ugh dude. Your waifu a shit. Seriously.

>>7995958
>>7995968
I know it's not the easiest one to make, but I'm of the firm opinion that if you really really care about the cosplay, you'll spend several months to even several years making it. Met a man who made his cosplay over the course of two years.

I highly admire dedicated work. But that's neither here nor there, just posting feels.

>>7995957
that is for 2011
the one in the wiki page lists all countries except for Moldova, Albania and Belarus to have lower homicide rates than the USA per capita and it's for 2012
Also Albania is in Southern Europe

> Been out of a job since this summer
> Constantly applying everywhere with no luck
> Been keeping quiet about it and doing some commissions on the side to keep afloat
> Lolita friend posts some stuck up businessman article with some spiel along the lines of "Abandon your unsuccessful friends and keep the successful ones"
> Weeks after, I notice that my friends that are mutual friends with her are starting to get distant from me
> Most of them unfriended me this week
> See comments like "Anon is a loser. She's not even trying."
> "If she tried harder, she would have a job by now lololol."
> Lose all motivation for job hunting

>>7995786
I think that they believe they'll get good sound engineer jobs once they finish school and will be good to go paying everything off.

>>7995974
>trusting wiki this much
It's like I'm in high school all over again.

>>7995991
Don't lose hope anon, they're poison and showing why you shouldn't be friends with them in the first place. Whenever you have a job and become more successful watch them lick your ass back.

>>7995991
The fuck? What does being friends with 'unsuccessful' people have to do with your own personal success? Anon it might suck now but I cant help but feel you are probably better off without morons who read an online article and follow the advice like that.That is what dumb bitches on tumblr do.

>>7995991
Who are you job hunting for anon? Your 'friends' that mock you behind your back?
Or are you doing it because you need food and frills?
If there's anything in your way, you get that bitch to move aside. Every no is the next step to a yes. Everytime your resume is rejected, you update that bitch and make it better. Everytime you apply, one week after you call and speak with the hiring manager directly, you will never get a position by doing the bare minimum these days. Walk in with a bright smile and shake the hand of the person you're going to have as a boss and you ask for an interview so you can get to work as soon as possible.
Get out there and make some people really believe you like doing their shit jobs and you work on your speaking skills to improve the way you sell yourself.
I believe in you anon! Believe in me who believes in you!

>>7995991
Here's the article by the way

http://addicted2success.com/success-advice/why-successful-people-leave-their-loser-friends-behind/

>>7995997
>being this buttmad
yes, I'd rather trust a grainy map from god knows where posted to a chinese cartoon imageboard
the wiki cites reliable sources throughout the article that you can check for yourself, you know

>>7996023
Reading that gave me an aneurysm. I think you're better off without those friends, anon.

>>7996023
HA. Taking advice from a random blogger. Why dont ppl ever research the author of posts they read? Or am I the only person who requires factual proof beyond someone's 'feels' and life antidotes. Also cant find where this MF was educated so... What makes him an authority? Also enjoying how he doesnt source anything substantial and just links to other click bait on the same site.

Be happy anon. Your ex friends are dumb.

>>7996046
I actually agree in a way that you need to surround yourself with the types of people that will contribute in a positive way to your life, and that if all of your friends are jobless slackers, you won't get motivation from them to work hard, you'll be on your own in that regard. There is a difference; however, between a friend fallen on hard times that's hit a bad patch, and a friend that is willfully stuck in a bad habit or rut. That they didn't care to see which it was with her, tells me how unworthy they were to be friends with. The good ones only come in small numbers, but they'll be more loyal to you than that if they're the real deal.

>grades have been consistently falling since freshman year because of my inane life / emotional problems
>no motivation
>think of suicide every now and then
>no job prospects
>running out of money

just the usual I suppose

>>7996046
http://www.brentonweyi.com/about-me/

I actually think this guy is living proof of why you should never abandon you're friends. Their negative impact on his life was probably honest advice like why he shouldn't proclaim himself a writer, philosopher, etc. Without them he fully succeeded in absolutely deluding himself

>>7996081
>grades have been consistently falling since freshman year because of my inane life / emotional problems
>no motivation
>think of suicide every now and then
>no job prospects
>running out of money
Anon are you me? Except for my shitty below minimum wage job this sounds exactly like my situation.

>grades have been falling
>fucked up every important assignment I had to do this semester
>walking around campus is hell now since I try to avoid all my professors where I fucked up the assignments, I live in constant fear to meet them
>also lost touch with a group of friends, constantly afraid to meet them on campus because I've been such a piece of shit
>no motivation at all
>no idea what to do with my life
>every direction seems like bullshit
>casually think about suicide now and then, especially since mother threatened to throw me out

j-just the usual I suppose

>>7996137
>Anon are you me?

sounds like it

>>walking around campus is hell now since I try to avoid all my professors where I fucked up the assignments, I live in constant fear to meet them

I had some volunteer research positions that I really hated but couldn't bring myself to quit (because I hated the idea of actually telling my professor that I wanted to stop) and now I just avoid going into those buildings entirely.

>>no motivation at all

I spent 2k on parts for a new desktop but after I built it, I haven't used it at all because I've had no motivation to clean up my bedroom so I can move it into a good location.

...

>>7996150
>sounds like it
It's comforting and terrible at the same time to hear someone's as miserable as I am.

>I had some volunteer research positions that I really hated but couldn't bring myself to quit (because I hated the idea of actually telling my professor that I wanted to stop) and now I just avoid going into those buildings entirely.
I sometimes skip classes just because I cannot bear the idea of running into people I don't want to meet. I abandoned two entire classes because of that. I also avoid certain routes and always look out for anyone I don't want to meet so I can hide just in case.
Typing this out makes it sound even more pathetic than I thought... Uni wasn't always this awful, but now just the thought of going around campus makes me anxious and sick.

>I spent 2k on parts for a new desktop but after I built it, I haven't used it at all because I've had no motivation to clean up my bedroom so I can move it into a good location.
>...
Haha, this sounds like me. My room is a mess because I cannot even bother to put my cloth into my wardrobe; now they pile up on my bed and the floor. But everytime I want to clean I just feel so overhelmed and don't know where to start - and once I actually make an effort and tidy my room it's a mess withing a week again and I just feel helpless again.

>>7995159
I don't think so.
I might be, but I'm pretty sure I'm not.

>>7995549
Oh anon you know my struggle.

>tfw everyone is a fucking shitstain today

People are so unpleasant sometimes.

>>7996169
>It's comforting and terrible at the same time to hear someone's as miserable as I am.

Same.

I switched to a different major this year and my parents are pissed because I'm not doing what they want me to do, and the frustrating thing is that I should potentially actually have much better job prospects if I manage to finish this new major instead of doing what they insist but they refuse to listen to anything I have to say, which is fucking retarded because I know way more about the field than they do.

It's mostly my father who's being a complete asshole, although he's been like that my entire life, so I guess I'm used to it.

>>7993291
I'm really starting to hate sad sacks who only ever criticise things without actually doing anything positive themselves.
I have a friend who is becoming a miserable pos. He does nothing but play vidya all day and work, literally no other hobbies except maybe "going to drink with my friends". He hasn't finished high school and only complains how this is dull and that is no fun.
Whenever my friends and I want to take him somewhere he just cries about how it's boring and when we ask him to suggest something he just goes "well I don't knooooooooow".

We've recently been making plans for interrailing together and he said he wanted to come, but when we ask him where he wants to go he just says he doesn't care because "all the cities look the same to me" and "I wanna do something fun like bungee jumping or diving". In January. On a student budget. In central Europe.
We were also supposed to have a dance and carol and have a mini-concert at our school but he always says that it's all "cringeworthy" to him and literally anything we do is just an eyeroll and "gosh can we hurry up" to him. Yet he always tags along and acts like he's doing us a favour.
I'm getting real tired of his shit, he's such a Debbie Downer.

>>7996275
Stop trying to save him. He sounds like he needs a professional and not a friend who only begrudgingly keeps him around out of pity.

>>7996286
He got professional help though, but it didn't work. It didn't work because he doesn't see that he has a problem, he thinks being indifferent to everything is normal and the only thing he told the therapist was "I guess I'm not really motivated is all". And the therapist nodded, gave him some anxiety medication that caused him diarrhoea and he stopped taking them. Now he doesn't want to go back because he got his answer and "the doctor said I'm fine".

fuck this, not cgl related but fugg
Everything went downhill today
>lost someone close to me
>bad day at school
>shitty siblings
>have to go jfash buy and sell event but extremely nervous because >hella autism

I'm mostly bummed out by losing that person close to me. I can't even think anymore.
And I'm just emotionally done ayy, give me a reason, seagulls.

>participating in a card exchange
>starting off late because of finals/graduation preparation
>working on a handmade card for a friend
>worked on it for at least an hour
>tfw hand-cramp
>tfw probably going to start making generic cards instead of elaborate fashion illustrations based on them/their favorite style

It's the thought that counts, right?

>lost fiance a bit ago
>go on a few dates, not feeling it with anyone
>meet /fit/bro with motorcycle who cosplays, ohhhdang /cgl/&/fit/ what a pair
>we go out few times, it's really magic and fun and new feelings and he seems really into it
>today he says we "don't have enough in common" and he has no interest in pursuing it just like out of the blue

idgi /cgl/, boys are so weird
he even had that fratboy asshole thing going on and i loved it
like i knew it wasn't going to realistically get anywhere but it coulda been way fun and i'm not digging this whole coming down from a natural high deal.

>>7996300
Then maybe a possibility is that's just the kind of person he is and you're incompatible as friends. People change, sometimes for the worse. There are people who go alone all their life because of their attitudes and many don't have a problem with it.

I'm so anxious about everything, and trying to make new friends is so hard. I constantly feel like I'm either being annoying and pushing people away or, in trying not to be annoying, appearing too aloof and causing people to lose interest. I know I'm just being neurotic about nothing, but I really like a lot of the people I've met through cosplay and lolita lately and think we could be good friends. I suck at getting past the new friends territory into being comfortable around people, though.

>>7996547
I'm sure you're fine, anon. As long as you're not pestering people constantly or ignoring them for days, I think you've got nothing to stress about. Give it time and the friendships will form.

>>7996300
Tough. You aren't gonna be the one who fixes him if he won't accept your help or advice, so you can either complain about him, or stay in your no win situation. Sometimes having friends bugger off is a catalyst for people realising they have a problem, because those are kind of the things that people judge their own 'normalcy' by (i.e. keeping friends, having a job etc.) so if they have those things, they can ignore their problems. You aren't doing him or yourselves any favours.
Therapists aren't magic bullets (nor are they always doctors...) and professional opinions can be widely variable simply because it's based on how good a relationship you can get with the client and whether you can actually get beyond "I'm not motivated" to discovering "I'm not motivated to the point where it's fucking up my life and relationships with my friends", which is often difficult if someone doesn't think they have a problem. Also, the fact that they thought he needed meds clearly meant they thought there was an issue - but maybe he was unable to hear that at the time.

>>7996300
Ditch him. People like him are a waste of your time, and pretty much too retarded to even think about how their actions affect others. He is a leech and you will never be happy being his friend.

>went to job interview today
>they hired me on the spot
>hours are a little iffy but pay will be better than current job
>even if hours are low the job is in the field I want to be in and I can always get a second job to afford muh burando
>so excited right now I can't even deal

>>7996028
It does, but did you notice that the sources are mainly for the US, and most of the sources of the data on the Eastern EU is from 'global' documentations? How accurate to the Eastern block are those sources? For a 'global' spectrum, it seems a little far to expect it to be 100% accurate, but the US documentation there seems legit if for it's redundancy. If we compared conglomerate data from wikipedia and from a more EU specific site, maybe it would be the same, or maybe not, your entire argument is tied to the EU being so much better in terms of homicide deaths, I just question your believe and you've yet to convince me you know what you're talking about.
What I'm getting at is that you're not wrong to say the EU might be a little better off in terms of homicide rates, but if I have to trade a lot of my personal control and my individual safety in order to make that minimal difference towards the collective, it just isn't worth it.
I'm not a bad egg, I shouldn't be treated like one just because my country's society and or government thinks I may possibly do something bad. If I wrong someone, kill someone, one could only hope I am called to answer for my behavior, so in light of that, a better alternative to the EU's method would be a reformation of the US prison system, a steeper approach to reforming juvenile offenders, a steeper approach to the sentencing for violent crimes and a more accessible and comprehensive way to screen, treat and educate people on mental illnesses.

If you have anything more to add, please feel free, but I don't really have anything more to explain, to be honest I think we've talked about this enough for one thread. Any parting arguments?

>be me
>get offered to a staffing position at con
>guest relations
>stupid dramu ensues where there was a lapse in communication
>guy who hired me on starts getting upset about a guest they ask me to push for and now they're not getting (we were talking over fb this whole time even though i specifically asked we discuss it over the phone)
>too expensive!
>I was bummed. One month later at our next meeting he tells me that he's put in all this work for a guest and has had no luck.
>hands me guest relations
>wtf.jpg
>I'm honored but highly concerned he may have fucked up what i started for them.
>i started networking and within a week's time have 3 potential guests.
>Things started looking up
>get call from my mom
>aunt's been battling lymphoma for the last 2 months
>stage 4
>super huge alcoholic when she was younger, has so much nerve damage in feet/hands that she has to take pain meds
>so malnourished, many vitamins too low in her system
>only have done one round of chemo so far
>meanwhile, here i am trying to finish a commission

Luckily i'm almost done but my fucking god..It's just hard.

Shit is going to hit the big royal fan in my lolita comm and circle of friends first.

I got nothing to do with this but I'm going to go under the ground and hide for a while until everything calms down so I won't be pulled all over the place and forced to take sides I don't care for.

>>7993291
This is vaguely cgl related...
>have had mental health problems for a while
>have been seeing psychologist for them
>lately been feeling worse than ever no interest in cosplay or lolita at all
>bf (and only person I can actually talk to) just left for Japan for months
>tell my psyc that I care about nothing I used to any more and can barely get out of bed
>he basically brushes it off every week basically asking me "what do you want me to do?"
>bf messages me saying he will go to AP store and pick something out for when he gets back
>I tell him to not bother and he is clearly upset about this response
>only told him not to bother because I feel like I won't be here when he gets back and don't want him to waste the money

>>7994060

I don't think you can realistically claim you'd be a good housewife if you look your nose down at jobs such as cooking and maid-service. If you can't hold that kind of job, it sounds like what you REALLY want is to be the kind of housewife that keeps a messy house and lets dishes pile up even though she only cooked frozen pizza.

Friend randomly messaged me about a peacoat she bought and linked me to a site called rosegal.

>she thought that it was legit because it was advertised through facebook
>tfw trying to get her to understand that there are scam sites (aka: M*lanoo and friends)
>being this new to online shopping

I'm a little bummed that it hasn't been updated on the old lj list (then again, they don't carry lolita specifically, just a lot of recognizable fast fashion items from taobao shops).
I'm seriously hoping that at best she gets her money back.