/cgl/ - Cosplay & EGL

When strangers ask what I'm wearing, I always start out with "it's a japanese fashion." If they ask more then I continue to explain the broad basics and stuff.
I usually wear lolita every time I head out to NYC to go either shopping or just hanging around the city. Unless people are tourists, they usually don't care and go about their day with just a weird quick look.

Nno one has tried touching me or my dress yet, thank goodness. Hope it stays that way, too.

>how do you deal with rude strangers?
Unless their persistent, I don't. I ignore them because most of what they have to say, I've heard so many times before. it gets tiring, you know?

>>7966377
>Ikkicon 2010/11
>Friday of the con is New Year's Eve
>Con is held in a semi swanky Hilton directly in the middle of the downtown area which is Austin's equivalent to Bourbon Street
>Half of the hotel is con-goers
>Other half is rich Texans dressed to the nines and drunk like only Texans can get
>Cue the fun that is a lobby full of nerds having to interact with rich, fancy drunks coming back from a night of bar hopping
>Be me
>Wearing a costume made of shiny seqined fabric
>Posing for a few photos my friend is taking for posterity as we are about to go to bed
>Next thing I know I am surrounded by drunks
>The dudes are all clapping me on the back and telling me I'm awesome
>The ladies are mystified by the fact that the costume is shiny
>"LOOK SUE ELLEN, SHE SPARKLES. HOW IS SHE DOING THAT?"
>"Y'ALL JAPANIME PEOPLE ARE THE CUTEST."
> "THIS EVENT IS SOOOO.... INTERESTING. Y'ALLS HERE LIKE EVERY YEAR RIGHT?"
>"OMG HOLD MY DRINK I NEED A PICTURE WITH HER"
>I am now stuck posing for drunk photos for 45 minutes at least with several different groups whose drunken minds can handle my sparkle
>tfw when I imagine that I am now part of several people's crazy drunk New Years story

Not sure if it's just because of where I live, but usually in public I've only been approached by people who actually know what lolita is or just very polite little kids or women saying I look really nice/like a princess.

I remember once on the subway home from a meetup an older lady sat down next to me, said she wished she could dress up as nicely as I do (I was in a more classic coord at the time) and asked me a little bit about the fashion/why I like dressing in it.
To simplify matters, I just told her it's a japanese fashion I really like based lightly on victorian aesthetics, and that I was going out for tea with some friends that day. She seemed really genuinely interested, told me a bit about how she used to like dressing in her youth... made for really good company (certainly better than silently trying to ignore the stares of various confused teenage boys)

Even when it's someone a little over-excited and weeby, I'm always pretty happy when someone comes to talk to me about it or compliments my coord, as long as they take the proper hints when I go to leave/continue what I'm doing.

I know it's inevitable eventually, but never had a particularily bad experience yet, at least not in lolita.

>>7966397
>>Cue the fun that is a lobby full of nerds having to interact with rich, fancy drunks coming back from a night of bar hopping
I know this is just my thirteen year old lolrandum let's freak out the normies speaking, but I love when cons share hotels with regular people. It always ends up with the best stories, and [spoiler]I do sometimes ham it up in front of non-congoers[/cgl has no spoilers]

>>7966377
I have the all-powerful bitch fan.

When i was still a little lolita fledgling in high school, i joined an ettiquette club and learned about fan talk.

Now I always have a nice lace fan to coord with my outfits for public excursions, and I've found that the fan makes for a nice sheild between you - curious tourists. Some secret part of them can detect your disinterest, or so it seems. Plus little children love it!

>>7966406
you sound ita

>>7966408
you sound like you've never liked fans

For the most part, unless I go on trips away, I've gotten really positive feedback on my lolita, particularly weirdly enough from old ladies.

I once had a theatre actress come up to me and ask where I got my 'costume' from. I don't know whether the slack I gave her was warranted, but she seemed genuinely interested so I told her that closet child would be a good place to start (we didn't have enough time before we went our separate ways to go into a lot of detail).

I even got a thrift shop owner (who probably had other lolitas flocking to it) explaining our fashion to other customers. It was pretty cool.

I'll miss this city when I move back. It's really friendly to lolitas, much moreso than the US.

>>7966405

Kind of OT, my friend was once at MCM (he's a med student) when they ran it with the medical convention. He found a couple of doctors who bought tickets to both conventions, and they had pretty good conversation on basically all the intersections from anime to vidya to the healthcare system.

>when you aren't at a convention or behind closed doors at a friend's house/tea room for a meetup in lolita, how do you deal with strangers in public asking what you're wearing?
Echoing others, I start off with "it's a street fashion from Japan, like Harajuku Girls" and if they press for more I'll give them bits and pieces, like it's about modesty and rebelling while expressing femininity and such. This is all leading up to "so what's it called?" and softens the blow a lot more.
>do you find people are generally receptive and interested in learning more about the fashion?
Hm, not really. The people who come up and ask aren't rude about it usually, but they're typically satisfied with a "Why are you wearing that?" "It's how I like to dress" exchange. I do like it when people get excited about it though.
>how do you usually explain lolita to them?
Start with the basis of the fashion and move slowly closer to the name. I know it's not entirely accurate, but if anyone shits their pants about "the book" I just tell them THOSE WACKY JAPANESE RIGHT LOL? and most people accept that.
>where is your favorite place to wear lolita out? (if you're not a lifestyler)
Upscale areas are much more curious and accepting of lolita than lower end ones. I'd think it'd be the other way around (the rich people get mad when someone isn't in the WASP uniform and the poor people have experimented with style more) but I'm wrong, at least in my state. My least favorite place to wear lolita is anywhere that being exceptionally dressed up would normally be strange, like the grocery store or Goodwill.
>have you ever hand a stranger invade your personal space and touch you or your dress?
No, but I've had fellow lolitas grope my lace and fabric without permission before, and I myself am a serial lace grabber. It doesn't bother me but I know it bothers some girls.
>have you ever dealt with rude strangers? have you ever been stalked or threatened? endured physical violence?
Nope.

>>7966377
I typically get the "Why are you in such a nice costume today you look so dressed up?" I simply tell them it's not a costume and it's just the way I dress. It's usually older people that are just politely curious, I feel so bad for mom though she gets more upset over the attention than I do when I go out.

People will either ask, stare, or heckle you with some strange cat calls. Someone asked me "where my stein was" last weekend, and a friend chased some people off who were watching us wait for our friends.....

Once I tell someone "hey this is just what I wear" they leave so I've never had to explain lolita.

I love to wear lolita when I go out to eat, or when I go shopping. I'll wear a casual coordinate shopping because it's no fun to try on clothes with that many layers.

People are always lifting my petticoat, every time I go out someone does it.

Rude strangers? Yeah, drunken "where's your stein guy" left me and my friends alone and apologized, I just stared at him till he left. Never been stalked or endured physical violence though.

Oh just thought of a short funny story!

> junior year of high school
> wearing a casual bodyline coord during lunch
> goofing off with friends in my drama class and skipping around the school singing "we're off to meet the wizard"
> stalked by a bunch of freshman boys who finally scream "Hey this isn't walmart."

>>7966406
Oh, like a much tinier more convenient parasol.... I know a lot of girls will use their parasol to shield them from unwanted photos. I'll have to go look into some nice fans now.

>>7966406
I need to learn about this.

>at a mall in an upscale area with a flock of lolitas
>mom from "Stupid Girls" apparently and her litter of prostitots stops us for a picture
>sure why not
>she asks us if we wear this every day
>one girl says she does
>"Yeah, you look like you would" snickering
>done taking pictures
>we all walk away
>mom and her 4 tiny clones follow us for a half an hour, laughing and mimicking what we say to each other

I just don't understand why a mother would teach her daughter/daughter's friends such rude behavior is acceptable and even funny. Some people shouldn't breed.

>>7966474
secret lolita fan communication thread? Only half kidding

>>7966474
theres some old books out there on fan ettiquette from ye olden ladies. it's a whole fuckin language, pretty cool

>>7966377
Walmart, It's my dream to get posted on People of Walmart

>>7966482
this

>>7966405
I went to that con this year that was held on the Yorktown (a WWII battleship that was turned into a museum) And there was a troop of boy scouts, elderly war vets, current military officers, and families all over the place completely confused by all the costumes. It was funny except I kinda felt bad for the war vets who were there paying respects and all that meanwhile weebs were sword fighting right next to them screaming in broken Japanese.

>>7966397
>"stuck"
>for 45 minutes
Come on, you liked it.

Could've easily told them to fuck off/just leave if you didn't.

>>7966488
Oh god just all the cringe.... that's just insensitive....

Why would host a con there?!

>>7966492
I assume ithey meant a bit more of a "stuck by politeness" thing. Like when you're in cosplay trying to get to an event/shoot at a con and you keep getting stopped for photos. Like yeah you're a bit annoyed, but you'll still humour them and make the best of it.
Besides, makes for good stories like these.

>>7966492
It was amusing, I'm sure if I pressed it I could have left. However, dealing with belligerent drunk people wasn't on my agenda so I didn't force the issue.

>>7966504
Oh and I didn't see this. Yeah, that's basically what I meant, plus as I said, it was amusing.

>how do you deal with strangers in public asking what you're wearing?
I tend to just tell people it's a Japanese fashion style and myself and friends wear it every once in awhile for fun. (if I'm alone, I say there's a lot of us including locally. If with people I just say "w") I get a lot of questions like, what's the occasion. But I usually just say no occasion. I just felt like dressing this way today.

>do you find people are generally receptive and interested in learning more about the fashion?
More often than not, most people are interested and pretty receptive or are really excited to see people dressed up this way.

>how do you usually explain lolita to them?
I just explain it's a fashion style from Japan that's very popular around the world and there's tens of thousands of girls who are into it and wear it. Sometimes everyday, sometimes every once in awhile. Seems to work pretty well.
>where is your favorite place to wear lolita out? Usually shopping or out to dinner. I prefer to wear it with others, even non-lolita friends, namely for safety and it helps to ease some of my anxiety a little bit.

>have you ever hand a stranger invade your personal space and touch you or your dress?
Fortunately I've not had that happen at all, at least not to my knowledge.

>have you ever dealt with rude strangers?
The rudest or worst thing has been gawkers or people pulling out their cellphones, also some weird drunk people, but I've managed to avoid the worst of it. This is a big reason why I prefer to travel in groups if at all possible.

I'm quite happy to explain what I'm wearing when people are genuinely interested. Oddly enough, even though I always use the term lolita, no one has ever associated it with the book (so far).
I live in a generally open minded and accepting place so most people who come up to me seem to actually be interested.
I love wearing lolita downtown and occasionally when I visit a friend in this very upper crest town.
People will occasionally want to touch my dress, especially when I have (faux) fur lining and sometimes they don't ask...but you know, as long as they aren't lifting my dress or getting gropey, I don't mind so much.
I get more nasty and snide comments when I'm wearing visual kei than when I'm wearing lolita. I did, however, once get called an "ugly Christmas cake looking ho" by some 14 year old showing off how edgy she was to her friends.

>do you find people are generally receptive and interested in learning more about the fashion? how do you usually explain lolita to them? where is your favorite place to wear lolita out?
Depends on which part of the city I'm in and what time of day it is. During the school leaving rush, there's a lot of teens who are twats. But they're teens. They're always going to be twats. I tend to get at least one nice one a day, usually from someone on the train platform or when I've stopped at a crossing or in a shop. I don't generally explain the fashion unless asked, and just thank them for the compliments. The people who ask usually are being polite and curious, a few have read a local article on "living dolls". Those that aren't polite don't say anything, or make the same snide remarks every time. You'd think they'd get creative with the insults, but nope. It's always Bopeep. Every goddamn time.

>have you ever had a stranger invade your personal space and touch you or your dress?
Yes. But the first time was at a convention and not just out in public, so I don't count it, really. The second time was a little girl who thought I was wearing pillows under my dress, and was chastised by her mother for invading my space, so I can kind of forgive it.

>have you ever dealt with rude strangers? have you ever been stalked or threatened? endured physical violence?
I think everyone has had one or two rude strangers. You just ignore them. I often leave my earbuds in without the music playing, because it deters any direct confrontation, and when they notice the little cords they tend to just skulk off and have a pout that their SUPER WITTY barb didn't even come close to the target. But no stalking or threats, no physical violence. Did have a woman follow me for a block and thought she was going to start something, but she apparently just wanted to tell me I looked really nice, and that she wished more people would get creative with her clothes. Fucking scariest compliment ever, man.

>>7966531
"Hey at least I can afford to look like a christmas cake, instead of living week to week off the allowance mommy and daddy give me"

>>7966550
Haha I would have loved to have said something like that but I tend to bite my tongue when it comes to people younger than myself...more as a force of habit than anything else.

I get this so often I don't even have an anecdote to share. If they have kids or seem like nice people I'll try to answer them but make it short. If they ask stupid questions, I give stupid answers. If they seem rude I'll nice ask them to leave me alone.

The one thing I do hate no matter who says it is people referring to me as a doll or doll-wannabe. Or "anime-girl/manga girl". I candid photo of me ended up in my local paper describing me as a manga girl.

>>7966404
oh my god anon that old lady sounds adorable I love old people

>>7966377
>fake melty chocolate ita
Strong 2011

The most common reaction is stares, which makes me uncomfortable sometimes, but I can deal with it. Second most common is sneering, usually by women in their 40s and teenage scumbags (you know the kind).

There is a surprising amount of people in cities that I frequent that know about lolita, or come to me asking "This is from JAPAN, right?" I get people taking pictures of me sometimes, but honestly, I like street photography and take pictures of strangers without asking whenever possible, so I don't care. Most ask politely.

I have only had one person get physical with me, he walked past me in a super market, asked me if it was carnival yet, and tugged at my dress. That was probably the most unpleasant experience I'd had. I've also seen a guy touch my friend's wig while we were out, but she didn't even notice.

For reference, I live in western europe, and usually wear lolita out casually to meet with friends, go shopping, etc.

>>7966460
>lace grabbing
I always want to get up close to dresses to check it out, but feel so awkward. Once at a con I was oogling some girls Milky Planet, since it was my first dress and nostalgia, and she asked if I wanted to touch it. I got super flustered but I did and it was cool

>>7966531
>ugly Christmas cake looking ho
i have found my new aesthetic

>>7966531
>"ugly Christmas cake looking ho"
I literally burst out laughing. That's oddly adorable.

>>7966461
>lifting petticoats
eugh, that hasn't happened to me yet. Where are you from? How do you react? I would hit them with a purse or parasol.

>>7966475
disgusting. those poor kids.

>>7966558
how did that get in the paper anon?

I've had all kinds of experiences, both very positive and very negative. I've had people touch my dress without permission, from right in front of me to behind my back on public transport, and it's still the thing that creeps me out the most. When I notice that there's a lot of people staring in a bad way or shouting, I just put on my permanent bitch face and look around like everyone's a peasant. It sounds and looks haughty, but I feel like it creates some space around me.

In general though I just reply in a friendly matter, tell them that 'it's a japanese street fashion' and give some more explanation if they want it. I haven't really been stalked or threatened, luckily.

I've noticed that men are extremely nice towards me while in lolita. with women.. it's a different story..

Either I've had them be really nice, recognise the fashion or just flat out be rude. I've had grown ass women think it's perfectly okay to lift up my dress or ask me if I'm into some weird adult baby fetish. During my first meet up, I also had an older, fat lady try to argue with me whether Lolita fashion had to do with the fucking book. She just could not accept that a word had two different meanings.

>>7966592
SF, although I kind of wander around within an hour of the city. It's honestly adults and teenagers that don't understand how the skirt is so fluffy and will lift it up to see. They'll either sneak a backwards peek or come right up squealing and pull on it. Honestly when they see how mortified I am they run away. I've never had to do anything.

>>7966495
Because the con administration had a sense of humor.

People sometimes scowl or tut, or say something to their friend as if I won't hear them/react. I usually find just looking them straight in the eye and saying "What." freaks them the fuck out. People think they're super edgy but most are actually shit scared of any confrontation. Obviously I use judgement as it won't always work (drunks/people looking for a fight for example)

>>7966608
Thanks to some shitty journalism. I went with other lolita's to an annual Japanese themed market hosted by a Japanese museum in my hometown. An asshole just took a candid photo of us and submitted it to my local paper with a tagline that went something like "What does Japan have to do with blond wigs and frills? A lot of these manga girls visited the Japanese market yesterday". He also included a picture of other lolita's and a friend and her booth where she sold her lolita indie brand. He had plenty of opportunities to ask us, but chose to just assume we were "manga girls".

Wasn't the only person who did something like that at the market. I also ended up on a national news-site against my wishes. After a guy took a picture of us he told us he would submit it to the site. A lot of us flat out told him we didn't him to submit it but he did it anyway. And some small local site posted us on their site but they were much nicer about it. Not too mention the people asking us non-stop what we were wearing, asking for photo's, or just taking candid shots. I went home feeling like I was a zoo animal.

>>7967442
>lolita's
quit iiiit.

>>7966475
>mom from "Stupid Girls"
wat is dis

>>7967465
The P!nk song I'm guessing.

>>7966377
I don't wear the fashion myself, but somewhere about 10-15 yrs ago in, I'm thinking it was Kansas (Forgive me, military family. We moved often.) My family took a trip to the local mall.

While my little sister (around 4 at the time) and I were alone together waiting for the rest of our clan to meet us near the center of the mall, a group of girls wearing Lolita fashion walked by.

I'd read about the fashion, but never actually came across anyone wearing it, so I watched them walk by - ... as did just about everyone else within sight lines.

About the time they disappeared into a Hello Kitty store a group of teenagers that were an odd mix of Hot Topic and Valley girl started loudly making rude comments about the Lolitas.

I can't remember what they said, and I'm glad about that, actually. But it burned me up something fierce. I looked at my sister and rather loudly told her not to act like those 'vapid idiots', in a manner meant for the group to overhear. I told my sister if she was interested in something that was different and new, it was better to ask the person outright than giggle and joke about them behind their backs.

Despite my sister's protests and utter embarrassment, I led her over to the group of girls and started a conversation with them.

I wanted my sister to see me talking to them, and that they weren't "different and weird" they were just people who liked something not mainstream.

I wondered if it was making any impact on her. She was young, after all, but I wanted to set an example and give her some character.

She's in high school now, and on occasion I catch her loudly bitching to her friends about acceptance and not being a bully. She's got friends all over the personality and personal tastes spectrum.

And when she goes off on one of her little tirades, or complains to me about how trivial her peers are, I get the happy pride bubbles in my chest.

I'm the only lolita in my city as far as I know.
I wear it outside and I get nice remarks about it.
No one has asked me anything about it and I seem to make older women happy. They like to stop and tell me they like my dress and such.

>>7967442
Did you write a complaint to the paper or the news site? Not sure how the laws are in your area, but usually publishing someone's picture where they are recognizable without their consent is against the law.

>>7966488
Oh man, I'm glad I wasn't the only one that thought that convention was insensitive. Did a lot of people end up going?

>>7967567
Bingo

>>7967465

>>7967442
>I went home feeling like a I was a zoo animal
A BLOO BLOO BLOO BLOO
Don't dress like a special snowflake if you don't even want people ASKING what it is you're wearing. Jesus.

>>7967679
I was in a public place so there wasn't much I could do about it.

>>7967707
I'm okay with people asking me what I'm wearing. I'm getting tired of people interrupting whatever I'm doing to do so, or people getting offended when I ask to be left alone. It's only an issue if people are rude. And that wasn't my main complaint anyway. My main issue was people taking candid photo's and publishing them without my consent.

>>7966377
i'm willing to bet half of these girls only dress in lolita for their random livejournal acounts, throw the dress back into the closet/sell it with a few wears to a meet or forum posts

then wear their daily uniform of uggs, leggings as pants and university/school sweatshirt in 2 sizes large so it's long enough to cover their lady bits

Where I'm from, a young lady wearing a dress that reaches her knees isn't seen as 'fancy' or 'outlandish' in any way, so I've never gotten any comments at all beyond the generic 'Oh, you look lovely!'

>>7966377
>when you aren't at a convention or behind closed doors at a friend's house/tea room for a meetup in lolita, how do you deal with strangers in public asking what you're wearing?
Be informative if they're nice, its not their fault for being curious.
>do you find people are generally receptive and interested in learning more about the fashion? how do you usually explain lolita to them? where is your favorite place to wear lolita out? (if you're not a lifestyler)
Usually people are very interested in why someone would choose to wear something that stands out. I say its a Japanese fashion and never use the term "lolita" if I do, they'll demonize me. My favorite place to wear lolita is at the mall or when I'm out with my friends.
>have you ever hand a stranger invade your personal space and touch you or your dress?
I've had a stranger touch my boobs to "see if they were real" because they were convinced I was a man in drag. He got slapped immediately. (I'm just tall and flat chested)
>have you ever dealt with rude strangers? have you ever been stalked or threatened? endured physical violence?
Rude strangers? of course. Stalked? one brony followed me around target and begged for my facebook once. Endured physical violence? naw.

>>7967737
>she's wearing a dress i've never seen before
>gives me permission to grope her

why are new yorkers so fucking weird?

or is it basically unchecked human behavior at it's worst, since living in a city with so many people is basically like being anonymous in public since you'll never see the same passerby the next day

>>7966621
I do that too! I put on music that fires me up, lift my chin up high and just walk like I own the ground people are standing on. Something like pic related would best describe how I feel about it.

>>7967718
Too bad. You're a fucking black sheep. People will take photos.

>>7967442
I saw that paper, as well as the website! All I could think was "ugh, lazy journalists" because I know there's no way you would ever describe yourself as an anime girl. It's dumb an anon lying but it could have been worse. I once ended up in the background of a picture accompanying an article about summer darkness and my grandmother immediately started grilling me about hanging out with goths and don't you know they're an evil suicide cult etc.

>>7967777
>anon lying
Lolwut autocorrect, that was supposed to be "annoying".

>>7967735
Projecting, are we? Everyone here knows you're too much of a pussy to even leave your house and that's why you spend all day on 4chan, pretending there are people who want to talk to you and hear your opinion. There aren't.

>>7966639
When I'm in lolita, men kinda ignore me or give me a weird stare like "Huh? What's she wearing? Nevermind.."
In fact, whenever a fellow student in my classes at uni shows interest in me but I don't want to reject him since I'd like to stay friends I just wear casual lolita. It works quite well.

>how do you deal with strangers in public asking what you're wearing?
I've only had a nice polite approach from people so I just inform them it's a type of Japanese fashion. If they ask a bit more, I start going into semantic fields & various styles (keeping it super short and sweet as posible.)

>do you find people are generally receptive and interested in learning more about the fashion?
The older ladies do, they're really sweet and their mannerism are so dainty & elegant. It's easy to see why they really pay lots of compliments because we must've looked quite nostalgic for them.
>how do you usually explain lolita to them?
I start with the present, it's a fashion from Japan, you get these brands everywhere (to make it sound normal but specialised), then dip into it's roots with varying inspiration and how its taken off, et voila. (note trying very hard to shrug off the name 'Lolita' as it's just what the fashion designers chose because it sounded 'cute' and that's it.)
>where is your favorite place to wear lolita out? (if you're not a lifestyler)
Anywhere that has good food and a nice set up. Especially nice hotels/tea houses that hosts Afternoon High Teas and Chocolate/dessert cafes. If there are good outdoor settings, the public gardens or parks for good photo snap shots. Personally I really like European architectures, it really goes well with the fashion. At least 2 people in total for confidence. If I'm on my own, its not as fun.
>have you ever hand a stranger invade your personal space and touch you or your dress?
Yeah-huh. I was wearing Choc Ribbon skirt browsing the shops and a lady was leaving, said she liked my skirt and touched the high-waist part of my stomach (copping a feel for the chocolate texture). Needless to say my fellow Lolitas cringed in surprise.
>have you ever dealt with rude strangers?
Apart from randoms taking out their mobile phones for pics without permission, nothing bad really.

>>7967589
You sound like an awesome sister. I like older siblings and parents who can call out the younger kids when they're being little shits, instead of ignoring it or even encouraging it.

>>7967707
>>7967771
did seig take his trip off

>>7967707
>>7967771
did seig take his trip off

>>7967736
lucky

>>7967735
It's more along the lines of tshirts and cargos my man. Sorry I'm not the Loli Queen you dreamed of - I'm just too tired to dress up for school.

>>7967735

Some people have to go to work in dress codes or uniforms. But you wouldn't know since you're not really a productive member of society.

>>7967735
Seagulls don't wear Uggs, hoodies, and yoga pants, how the fuck did you confuse gamer shirt and kigu wearing homebodies with socialite university girls, are you drunk?

>that one lolita who always explains EVERYTHING to strangers from MILK to Mana and Novala Takemoto and all the substyles, trends and technical terms
>b-but he wanted to know what I was wearing!

When people are POLITE and ask me about it, I happily explain it is a clothing style from Japan. If they want more information, I tell them it is inspired by victorian/rococo fashion, but with a Japanese twist. If they ask more questions, I explain about the styles, how some are cutesy, some are elegant, and some are gothic. If they want even more information, THEN I FIRST warn them that the name is really weird and just an unfortunate, lost in translation kind of misunderstanding name, but it's called Lolita fashion. (Then I usually laugh and go yeaaah... I wish they named it something else. But it's just a fashion.)

Never had a problem with anyone understanding when I explained it like that.

When people are RUDE about it and ask:

What are you wearing?
>Clothes.

Why are you dressed like that?
>Why are YOU dressed like that.
Or
>I'm in the circus.

I just tone things down a lot. Seems like I can pass for normalfag now, no one has asked me about being dressed up for over a year now. Some of my outfits might be falling short of the lolita aesthetic though (like, it's a brand dress with a petticoat and bolero, but the bolero is mainstream and the purse isn't matched to the print and I'm in normalfag shoes without matching OTKs).

When I started out, rather than explain the fashion, I mostly said I was going to a party later, or that I just came from one (it was even true one time, I went from a lolita tea party straight to the grocery store on the way home).

No one has tried to touch me, people here are nice I guess.

The rudest strangers I've met were at a con, strangely enough. Around the time comicon was making the news (we're nowhere near that one, but), attendance to our local con swelled up with normalfags who don't seem to understand that we're not performers, we can say no to photos and we're not required to laugh at their lame jokes. One guy went around making comments about everybody's costumes in some know-it-all voice, which irritated a lot of cosplayers. Sorry I don't have a more extreme story than this, would leave this out but you asked.

>when you aren't at a convention or behind closed doors at a friend's house/tea room for a meetup in lolita, how do you deal with strangers in public asking what you're wearing?

I just say that it's a Japanese street fashion that takes inspiration from Victorian dress.

>do you find people are generally receptive and interested in learning more about the fashion? how do you usually explain lolita to them? where is your favorite place to wear lolita out? (if you're not a lifestyler)

I don't mention the term "lolita", since I value my time and don't want a conversation with a stranger to move into a weird direction. People who are already informed of lolita will ask if it's lolita, and I'll say yes.

Once I met a crossdresser in a pink milanoo disaster at an anime convention, who thought the word "loli" was completely interchangeable with "lolita". I corrected them (hopefully politely and firmly enough) and continued the conversation.

My favorite place to wear lolita out is a tea house.

>have you ever hand a stranger invade your personal space and touch you or your dress?

One time a young drunk veteran relayed his entire tour experience in Afghanistan, about a foot away from me while I was waiting for the bus at night. Sad person, but I'd be lying if I said I didn't have a hand on my pepper spray ready.

However, I've never had my dress touched. Or if I had, I never noticed. I am 5'7'', wear heels, and have resting bitch face, so I probably intimidate some folks. I also live in a metro area where personal space is valued, which is why that veteran put me on guard.

>have you ever dealt with rude strangers? have you ever been stalked or threatened? endured physical violence?

When I'm in lolita, black men downtown are the only ones who catcall me. Once when I was frustrated from running late, I gave a catcaller the finger, and he called me a bitch. Men of other races mostly ignore me in lolita, though a few say "your outfit looks great."

Zero violence thus far.

>>7966405
It's always the best for me at Otakon in Baltimore when congoers collide with baseball fans who are there for the game that day (right down the street from the convention center). The things I hear are priceless.

>>7966377
>how do you deal with strangers asking what you're wearing?
They don't ask what, they ask why. "No occassion, just because" or "my entire life is a party" are my usual answers depending on their level of politeness or snark.

>are people generally receptive and interested in learning more about the fashion?
Yes. When I'm with another lolita they want to know "what this is" and about the subculture, if we have clubs and events. When alone though not so much, they just want to know where I got that purse.

>how do you usually explain lolita to them?
"You know how some people are goth? Well, we're lolita." You can see the "what on earth, why, what purpose, is this a political statement, is this a fetish?!" alarm wash away from their faces and get replaced with "oh, it's just a different thing you like. My daughter likes different things too." From there, the more curious will ask if we have clubs or events, stores and rules, if it came from Harijuku, etc. and I never heard a word about the book.

>where is your favorite place to wear lolita out?
High end retail. They love it, they love you, but training means they will never, ever, ask.

>have you ever hand a stranger touch your dress?
Yes, an older woman wanted to see if I had hoops or crinoline. I looked horrified, they apologized immediately, and all was fine. Sometimes strangers will give a curl a bounce or touch a bow, but a stern look stops them.

>have you ever dealt with rude strangers?
Rarely. Once a young woman would not let it rest (doing the fake interested but actually making fun of you, I tried politely answering, but then she turned to blatantly rude comments) and I said "don't speak to me, it's a little more than you can handle right now". When she opened her mouth again, the people around us that I'd been friendly with earlier told her to shut it.

>have you ever been stalked or threatened? endured physical violence?
No, thank goodness, I'm sorry to those of you ITT who have.

>>7968105
*Harajuku, people actually say it right here, that was my bad.

>>7968105
>my entire life is a party
>You know how some people are goth? Well, we're lolita.

You sound really autistic and annoying

>>7967993
Ugh ladies please don't be "that girl". Norms don't really care beyond "why are you wearing that?" They don't need a brief history of the entire fashion

Honestly I just say "these are my normal clothes" and say it's from Japan. If they keep asking questions, I usually excuse myself to continue what I was doing or get dragged away by my friends to do something else.

Older ladies are always so polite and nice though, so I usually spend a little more time talking with them about it than other random people.

>>7966531
Wow this is so cute wtf

>>7967951
>>7967961
>>7967971
>responding to sieg

>>7968166
Same. Here's what I posted long ago in a similar thread.
>I was at the opera last month wearing a Meta JSK, and a little old lady came up to me and asked, "Excuse me, are you wearing a petticoat?" I told her "Yes, I am!" with a smile, and she said in reply, "Oh, that's just wonderful! I miss seeing that fashion. Keep on doing that, you look lovely."

>>7968142
this. if it's family or friends, and they're actually interested, then sure. or maybe if people are very obviously interested and keep asking, then okay. but nobody wants you to waste their time.

>>7968320
I was with my girlfriend in a grocery store parking lot in lolita and the sweetest old lady got all excited about petticoats. And my grandma is the cutest. The first time she just saw one of my dresses (not even on) she got super excited, and we look at glbs together whenever we visit each other.

>>7967735
Lol you are so bitter about no lolita gf. Why the fucking fuck haven't you killed yourself yet?

>>7968334
That is so sweet anon. You're very lucky

>>7966410
This
Fans are love, fans are life.

When strangers ask about the dresses, I just keep it brief like others have said but am willing to go more in depth if they genuinely seem interested in the clothes and not just "look at this weird person why are you doing that you weird person". I like to wear lolita when I go shopping for crafts or antiques, so I get a lot of little old ladies who are genuinely interested, but when I go out for tea or am on public transportation, it's usually just gawkers who accept the brief explanation.

I hadn't had anyone ever be rude to me verbally or attack me for anything, but I have had a handful of adults and several children try to touch my clothes. I'm usually very short with adults who think it's okay to just put their hands on other people, which they don't like, but whatever. When children just grab me, I usually take their hands and say with a smile, "Today we're going to learn about manners!" Parents sometimes get pissy about that too, but fuck 'em.

>>7968105
>They don't ask what, they ask why
Funny you mention that.
Lolita is exceedingly uncommon in my city. I don't follow it, I use different clothes myself, but at least I do know it. So when I once found a girl wearing full regalia (all in blue and white, don't know what kind of style she was following) taking my bus very late at night and going down on my stop (meaning she does live in the area), I considered politely asking her exactly that - why; as in, if just coming from a con/event/whatever or if lifestyle. Couldn't, because I had to stop to explain my little daughter why that girl looked like a doll (cut her some slack, she's 4) and the girl had dissapeared when I looked back up.
I guess if I happen to see her around city again I'll know, anyway.

>>7966582
Kek sounds like that guy was trying to figure out if it was a wig but was too nervous/rude/unsure to just ask

>>7968027
My favourite responses to rude "why are you wearing thats" are probably

>I'm not
>What else would you have me do, eat it?
and
>Would you have talked to me otherwise?

The last one in particular really throws people

>>7970234
huh. i like it.

Oh good. I can now tell my recent story of me out in public in lolita last month.

>Go to Saks Fifth Avenue
>Walking around the store to find their makeup department
>Overhear two store associates talk about me
>Oh it's that fashion from Japan the person is wearing
>mfw they have the fashion smarts to know what I am wearing

I later bought some Chanel lipstick from them. It was a good buy. I'll start shopping from Saks more often if know what I'm wearing.

Out of curiosity why do lolitas always seem to say something like
>oh its a JAPANESE fashion called LOLITA
I never understood why people feel the need to emphasize that's its Japanese, its just fashion. Japanese normalfags don't think its any more normal than our normalfags do.

>>7970967
Well, I mention my clothes are from Japan when they ask me where I got them, I never mention the name of the fashion unless they push me for it, though.

>>7970972
I just meant the general trend seems to be immediately jumping to that its a JAPANESE fashion like it means anything real.
see
>>7966386
>>7966404
>>7966460
>>7966510
>>7966621
>>7967737
>>7968027
>>7968043

>>7970980
I'm >>7968043
I do it because it's the simplest way to get people "in the loop" since most Americans associate Japan with weird shit.
Fashion's weird so when I say it's from Japan, it seems to answer most questions they might have.

>>7971034
Fashion in general is weird. Saying its Japanese just reminds people you're a weaboo.

>>7970967
It helps give explanation on why it looks so outlandish to people, because really you can't say it simply like you could say goth, punk, etc. and people understand easily and since lolita has a direct origin it gives them something to connect it to, usually to the characteristic that Japan has weird stuff.

>>7971034
Huh...quoted myself wrong... oh well.

>>7966397
I love 6th street but comparing it to Bourbon? Nahhh.

>>7966377
I just say it's street fashion from Japan and tend to avoid the word "lolita" for obvious reasons. Mercifully nobody has invaded my personal space yet or touched me or even said anything rude (not to my face, at least. I'm sure people talk shit because I've received some weird looks--and my coords are all muted/tame.)

>>7968027
Totally stealing the circus quip, anon. So far I haven't experienced any rude people (save for the expected stares.) I've never understood stopping someone to ask them about their appearance/fashion choices because it's none of my business, but people will do what they wanna do.

>>7970980
>>7971039

It's a fast explanation.

Weeabo or not, when you say "it's from Japan" you can practically see a lightbulb go off in their brains, their faces clear up and then they go "ah, I see!"

I don't really know what they're seeing, but it's much better than standing there for an hour explaining everything else while trying to avoid saying it did come from Japan. It did come from Japan after all, why would you bother hiding that.

>>7971178
I've lived in both cities, I just describe it that way so people can get a feel for the touristy factor and the vague vomit smell.

>>7971222
Fair enough haha. It does paint a nice, trashy picture when you put it that way--which captures dirty 6th in all of its glory. Never did Ikkicon but I wouldn't mind going out and getting drunk with people in full cosplay around NYE.

>do you find people are generally receptive and interested in learning more about the fashion?
Strangers usually don't ask about my clothes. They mostly want to know if there is some special occasion or if I'm promoting a store. They don't ask any questions after I tell them it's just a fashion.

>have you ever had a stranger invade your personal space and touch you or your dress?
I was wearing a coord with a bunny theme on the train and while I was walking to the doors to get off, some guy purred "Oh look, a playboy bunny" and groped my ass.

>have you ever dealt with rude strangers?
The rudest thing I get is loud teens who scream insults at me. I also get a lot of 'sneaky' pictures.
If I see people trying to do it, I usually put on my bitchface and look them dead in the eye. If they don't notice, I'll loudly mention something to a friend, like
>"Oh look, that idiot with bad manners thinks he/she is being subtle when he/she is clearly taking pictures of me without permission."
or
>"Wow, does this person know I can call the cops on him/her for taking a picture without asking me first?"

That usually gets them embarrased enough to stop and leave, but some don't care and take the picture anyway.

I think I'll consider getting one of these >>7966406

>at japanese convention in LA

TFW need tissues (yaki-tori) see girl in lolita with tissues in her hand

>thank god, fucking needed these

grab the tissues, keep walking

>hear other girl with her say "what the fuck did that creep just steal your tissues?"

>pretend not to notice and speed up walking

>thought she was one of these people

>>7971419
>"Wow, does this person know I can call the cops on him/her for taking a picture without asking me first?"
Polite reminder that while you're 100% right in that it's VERY bad forms on their part, doing that could spectacularly backfire on you if you're in a public place where you don't have the right to refuse your photo being taken.
Better to THREATEN to call the cops, just in case he doesn't know that, than to ACTUALLY calling the cops, because if the cop is a dick, he might even tell them the above and reprimand you! Unlikely, but why risk it?

Do specific styles get more shit than others? I can see classic lolitas getting a lot less attention than OTT sweet, it'd be interesting to see what styles were worn by those sharing their stories.

>>7971445
i spit out my drink

>>7971515
I wear anything between those two spectrums. OTT sweet definitely gets more attention. But either way, I'm dressed differently. If someone is going to be an asshole about that, they're going to do it whether I'm wearing classic or not. I prefer to wear classic or more toned down sweet if I'm going to wear lolita in public by myself. I save the OTT for conventions but I've travelled off-grounds for food or whatever. But to be honest, I've gotten mostly positive reactions from it, or either way, straight up stares.

>>7970967
I no longer say I get my clothing from Japan after quite a few "kinky people in japan, eh?"

Instead I just say I get my clothing from a boutique in San Fran called Angelic Pretty
Not a lie and no more being called kinky.

>>7971445
Holy fuck. I needed a good laugh this morning

I forgive all your shitposting, you're a good guy in my book

>>7971458
I know that. I've never called the cops nor did I ever directly threaten someone with that.

I started doing it because mentioning it is a good way to scare the offender away.
People who waste their time taking sneaky pictures of someone usually aren't the brightest ones out there. Even if they aren't sure I could actually do it, many decide it isn't worth the risk and leave me alone.

>>7966386
Honest question: I've thought about wearing lolita in NYC before, but not being from there originally I have this perception of the city being dirty and people being rude, which makes me too scared to try lolita there. Have you found this to be true for yourself or anyone else?

>>7973303
No, not really. I've worn lolita before in NYC. I got a bunch of nice compliments from dressing up in lolita back in March and had no problems riding on the subway. I wore lolita because I was visiting some friends at a Con.

My only regret was not going out shopping in lolita in NYC. I heard Tokyo Rebel reopening so I'm hoping in the future I can go there all dressed up. Maybe go out on a nice high tea date to Laduree if anyone was interested. Really fretting at the moment that I am going to miss the 'Death Becomes Her' exhibition at the MET. Unf.

bump

>>7973303
Not really but it also depends on where you go in NYC. If you're going to main areas or where shopping places are, it's pretty clean and as I said before: unless people are tourists, they don't really care what you're wearing and go about their business.
You'll get weird looks as its normal, but for actual comments they're kinda scattered. However, it's not guaranteed as one day you can run into that one asshole that's trying really hard to impress his/her friends. Or some drunk person that funds anything amusing. That can happen anywhere, though.

Does anyone notice that depending on what style they wear they get different responses?

When wearing classic I get almost 100 % positive responses and quite a lot of compliments.
Gothic garners mostly positive responses and very few negative responses and occasionally someone will recognise it as gothic lolita.
Casual is almost entirely positive and I seem to blend in more.
Old school (especially if worn with a bonnet or other traditional headwear) gives more negative reactions (like being called bo peep etc) however I've had strangers most often recognise the style as lolita when in old school (besides in popular prints).
When I wear more 'ott' pieces (especially headwear) I get mixed responses and compliments are based around 'my costume'.
I don't wear sweet so can make no comments about that but the majority of lolitas I know have gotten the worst responses whilst in sweet.

>wearing sweet blue co-ord
>walking home from the train station after coming back from a con
>get off the train and pass through a small plaza that's right outside the station
>a few people start commenting my outfit, the usual.
>one approaches me and asks to take a photo with me
>politely decline and keep walking
>person keeps following me to the end of the plaza repeating their request with multiple "pleases" in there

They didn't touch me or anything and I suppose I wasn't too bothered, but now I take off my headbow and petti when I pass through there because I don't want to be bothered and I just wanna get home.
I am weak, forgive me.

>>7975548
That's because sweet is ugly.I'm sorry but it is. It's the black sheep of lolita except now it's the most popular. I can't find a meetup of ANYTHING else. I don't get it.

>>7970967
The mindset about Japan for American Normalfags is that is a "weird" and "quirky" land.

>>7975561
>It's the most popular
Not since two years on the internet, sweet start to fade away and people jump on the OTT classic bandwagon.

>>7975561
Do you understand this concept of 'opinions'?

I admit I feel a bit speshul when japanese people get excited ('aaaaah- rorita desu!! kawaii!!') and smile at me.

If anyone heckles or ask about the fashion with some dumb question or sarcasm I hate it.

Grandmothers are usually super into it, including my own.

Little girls are either mystified or enchanted by it and we often compliment eachother. I was out with a friend and a little girl smiled up at us so I smiled back and said her (glittery) shoes were cute. Her mother was staring like she thought we didn't notice. Like when you talk about someone and they are right there in the room? Finally make eye contact and she goes with the flat, smart sarcasm. 'So do you work in a cake shop then.' We replied with an equally flat 'No (dumb bitch...).'and she walked off.

Some dickhead drug dealer stopped my boyfriend and I in the street and after chatting me up decided to tell me 'I should wear something more sophisticated'. I'm not here to pander to you. I'll wear squirrel party because it was my birthday and for the lolz. I'll dress 'classy' when i feel like it.

I hate it when a bunch of lads start with the little bo peep shit. Just because I'm wearing a feminine or 'childish' fashion doesn't mean you can belittle me and assume superiority. I will outright tell those sorts of people to go fuck themselves and it usually shocks them into shutting up.

I also hate it when people are insistent they already know what they are talking about. I had to tell a businessman 5 times that Lolicon is something different but he was really proud of knowing both that word and 'Harajuku'. Had a better experience on the train with an older gentleman who had lived in Japan but not really looked into the fashion. We got all weeby together for 15 minutes as he told me about his dog Hachiko.

If someone just straight up asks nicely I'll explain it to them. Like the dude on the train and old ladies. It's just the sarcastic, smarmy attitude that totally rubs me up the wrong way.

what do you call a male version of Lolita? its kinda a dumb question but I like to wear dress clothes from the 50's and I feel like I understand what you guys are going through. people always asking "why im dressed up" and "whats the occasion? that shit is hella annoying people staring at me in the bus, ii feel like I shouldn't have to explain myself

>>7975637
*tips fedora*
m'lady

>>7975654
no fedora those are ridiculous haha

>>7975637

Kodona for more boyish styles and elegant gothic aristocrat for more mature looking stuff. Dandy was a historical term you could apply today.

Lol when you are a woman it does not matter what you are wearing, people will analyse the fuck out of it, judge and often you have to explain yourself. I've had to justify wearing shorts because a guy told me women shouldn't wear them or trousers. Also others of the same gender are always evaluating you....

But it is stupid. What reason are you supposed to give people?

>'Why are you wearing that?'
>'Because I decided to put it on? Why are you wearing what you're wearing???'

>>7975637
"No occasion, I just like wearing cool vintage clothes".

I think some women scowl or are mean about it because they see everyone else as competition or just hate other women. It's 50/50 between people that scowl and people that smile. I hate when young women walk past and go "oh my god." in a really nasty way to each other as if you won't fucking notice. I never know whether to ignore it or call them on it

>>7975706
>'Why are you wearing that?'
Sometimes I want to ask them why they are wearing leggings over their disgusting fat jiggling ass or whatever comparatively bad clothing choice they have made. It's always the people who look the worst that are the rudest.

>>7975718
An older woman asked me this in a really aggressive way. I was in the middle of talking to my comm and she just barged right in, grabbed my upper arm, kept shaking it and demanded to know "why was I wearing that" as if my clothes had really offended her. I just mumbled that I was busy and then another girl gave her a really long winded explanation. I think the old hag was satisfied after that

>>7966406
>tfw you see this post and order four different fans (to match with ANY outfit) immediately

>>7971669
I would straight up tell them they're warped if you politely explain to them, they look at what you're wearing and make a joke implying a whole nation is as perverted as they are.

I'd be offended as fuck.

"Why are you wearing that??"
>Because all my jeans are in the wash.

Seriously, though, it's good to be able to differentiate between a curious question and rude/hostile jeer.
Sometimes a calm, gentle answer may soothe the savage beast, once they realize that you're not a "threat".

The power of silence paired with a judgmental stare is seriously underrated.
Unless someone tries to touch or grab you, then just go fucking nuts. Not kidding. Don't allow strangers to grab you. Gross.

>>7975745
I usually try to respond to questions somewhat politely and ignore rude comments or gawking, but grabbing someone like that is completely inappropriate harassment and if anyone did that to me I would tell them to get their filthy hands off me and fuck off before I call the police.

>>7975706
This. It doesn't matter what you're wearing if someone's already decided they're going to be a piece of shit. I've seen women of all ages snigger with their friends and do the bitchy pointed look thing over the most tame shit. And guys have used any excuse in the book to get strange women's negative attention or touch them/their clothes.

It's important to remember that when you walk out the door wearing something out of the norm. The shit you get is more often than not something you might have gotten in anything from your closet. Might as well wear the thing that makes you feel good.

>>7966592

Since when is it ever acceptable to lift someone's skirt @_@

Are people just really stupid? Can they not work out there are layers (or a hoop even) under the skirt without checking??? Jesus

>>7975889
Normalfags seem to think that people who look different are like fucking education pieces or something. I wear gyaru and I have people trying to touch my fucking hair all the time. It's -my- hair too just bumped up. FFS, it's like anyone not dressed like a basic bitch is a zoo attraction.

I only wear muted classic outfits along the line of non-print IW or MM, people either tell me they like my dress or assume it's vintage.

>>7967735
Seig's waifu a shit