/cgl/ - Cosplay & EGL

>tfw "lifestyle lolita was never a thing"
>tfw "it's just clothing"
>tfw "how do I get e-famous I only got xxx likes/reblogs"

I wonder how the fashion became like this.

>tfw so thirsty it's seeping into my cosplay life
fuck man

Got my new IW dress yesterday, which finally spurred me into getting a haircut today. And it doesn't suck! It actually looks nice! Not a feeling I'm used to after haircuts. And now I can feel pretty instead of a birdnest monster.

>tfw no cute winter coat/scarf to brighten up dreary grey winter days

>tfw trying to get into lolita
>tfw newbie ignorance means missing out on a super cute release
>tfw only ever find wishlist dresses in the wrong colorway
>tfw lolita is heartache before you've even begun

>>7935137
Just buy an escort and lose your virginity already

> new dress came in yesterday
> wear it to university today
> feel awesome
> come home, boyfriend compliments my new dress
> mfw when boyfriend is always skeptical of my other dresses
> happiest day in my life

>tfw no chance of kawaii bangs cus of massive widows peak
>tfw want to make cute lolita clothes, but that ridiculous yardage

sigh

>got picked to be a model for local comm's upcoming fashion show
>embarrassed about sending measurements

I brought this on myself.

>>7935158
Get some blouses and basic stuff that will go with most of your dream dresses, then when you find one you will have lots of ways to wear it!

>tfw missed the chance to get gathered chiffon in all black
>watch lm for it
>miss a few cheap ones by a couple of hours
>about to break down and buy that black gathered chiffon on lm for 300 minus shipping costs after giving up hope of the seller to lower the price after a few weeks
>decide to check btssb one last time with little hope they would randomly restock
>notice they restocked
>fuckingbattletime.gif
>ignore other colorways (though the new ones are pretty) and nab that full black immediately
>mfw I will be paying around 295 for the dress plus EMS shipping and can get some small accessories later with the money I saved

>loves ETC more than any other brand, literally dream about it sometimes
>has the money to buy it cos relatively cheap secondhand and I work hard
>too fat and too obsessed with eating to wear most of it (5'3 130lbs, want to lose 20 minimum)
>have time to work out, do so 4-5 times a week, just eat all the time
motivation, where are you?

>>7935183
Fake bangs, perhaps?
I have a really intense cowlick, so I partially understand where you're coming from, anon!

>>7935191
Hey, if you were picked then that means they're willing to get dresses (I assume) in plus sizes! Otherwise they wouldn't have picked you.


>got a new job on the campus I attend
>went through basic training, did everything right
>had my first "on my own" shift last night
>thought it went well, despite log in problems at the beginning of my shift because I'm a new employee
>got an email from higher up today
>"U DUN MESSED UP"
>I did dun fucking mess up /shit/
>I came totally clean and admitted to my mistake and told her I understand if any disciplinary action comes with my my mistake
>waiting for a reply
>BOSS MAN AM I OKAY OR AM I FIRED PLS RESPOND

This is partially /cgl/ related because I rely on this job for my every day needs, and cosplay/jfashion shit. Ohhh god I really hope I don't get fired.

This week in general has just been shit.
>been making rookie mistakes in my language class
>found out dad's drinking again
>period started
>insomnia is super bad this week
>Monday night; 5 hours
>Tuesday night; 3 hours
>Last night; 0 hours
>Had to skip classes because I can't function properly right now
>mfw

>>7935221
>also 5'3 and 130lbs
Ughhhh. I had muscles and weighed 110 before I started taking antidepressants, and even though I've stopped taking them I developed lupus in that time period and I get winded doing nothing and have no strength anymore. The lupus causes me a lot of joint pain so it's really hard to lift weights now, do pushups, jog, etcetera and low impact things like swimming I can't do outside because I'm photosensitive due to the lupus and I start getting covered in a rash that eventually I can start feeling on the inside and it chokes me. I do small sets every once in awhile throughout the day in an attempt to lessen the impact on my joints and still exercise, but I only have so much energy to use each day and I have either school or work every day of the week except one, which is the day I use to get caught up on homework. I don't know what to do anymore and I'm the fattest I've ever been in my life and in pain every day.

>>7935168
nah man just got outta a 2 year ldr so the thirst is from that

>ex stole my computer
>can't do anything about it
>no call backs for jobs
>bored as fuck
>want to buy new computer
>no money
>no job
>bought a cheapo tablet so that maybe I can do some commissions

>>7935246
>tfw the reason i'm so heavy currently is anxiety/diagnosed by a psych as PTSD caused by being in an abusive relationship
>used to be /fit/, pole dancing/belly dancing, doing performancces, these days I'm too scared to even go for a jog
>somehow feel like it's all my fault
>just stop eating so much dammit people have it so much worse, it's just in your mind
>feel awful about everything
let's feel together

I'm pretty sure my packages keep getting stolen from outside my house. I hate my neighborhood.

>tfw stumbled on this shitty board
>realize its nothing more than trannies masquerading as females
>kek
>lel

>>7935255
Anon are you me? That's pretty much been my life.

>>7935262
;_; at least i'm not alone
to keep this cgl related
>tfw package at the posting office that i'm picking up tomorrow
>god i hope its my cardigan i'm so cold all the time

>>7935271
My necklace from chiffon rose hasnt arrived and im not sure it even will. My sock dreams order was supposedly delivered yesterday but no it isnt here.
I'm sick of losing money because people are either lazy or jerks.

>>7935284
>sock dreams
tfw i can never have enough tights/socks but i can never find anything decent on there
slow shippers are the worst, i've been waiting a whole week for an H&M cardigan that's a county away from me.. just give me the damn thing, I won it fair and square

>>7935294
I just ordered vertical striped tights. I have chub legs so finding nice tights is hard for me. Chiffon rose shipped out the necklace a while ago but i was stupid and picked the cheaper shipping option because I didnt want to pay 20 dollars shipping for a necklace. Now i know never to do that again.

>>7935302
>tfw i carry most of my weight on my thighs and hips
>tfw i've been eyeing the chiffon rose necklaces forever (the frog king one mainly) and always backing out because i know nothing about the company

>tfw really want to step my cosplay game up for next year

I want to be a good cosplayer goddamnit. I want to enjoy the next year and go to a bunch of cons and just have fun. But there's always that insecurity, negativity, or doubt, going,
>"Yeah, don't even bother, you'll just have buyer's remorse/you'll just regret this entirely".

And it's not wrong. I want to make sure all of what I do is worth it.

>Want to begin making cosplays
>Want to learn crafting skills necessary and learn which supplies I need and how to use them (sewing machine, worbla, craft foam, embroidering, etc).
>Have the money for it all

>No time.

>got approved for a panel at anime milwaukee over a month ago
>STILL no response after I replied to the initial e-mail
starting to worry guise

>>7935363
In the same boat as you, but instead of not having time (I have a good amount of time), I have no money.

Goddamn.

>folding hem of a circle skirt as I sew
>that be me finger
>scream until my mom finds me
>unscrew needle and pull finger out of the machine
>cry all the way to the emergency room
>it's poking out the other side
>barely missed the bone
>2 days later doesn't hurt anymore
It's been a while since I felt that hard though

>>7935418
You can teach yourself some things with a close to 0 budget, such as pattern making. Use old newspapers and get to work.

>>7935425
Really? Last time I did that, I just pulled it out, put a bandaid on, and kept sewing. Barely hurt at all aside from actually pulling my finger through since it punctured so fast.

>>7935429
Dude what
It was immensly painful after it was pulled out too, and it bled quite a bit. But when I woke up the next morning, it felt just a little sore.

>>7935441
Sort of like anal

>tfw finding out one of my shipmates cosplays and watches anime and shit
>tfw we start making plans for groups and cons
>ofw talking about everything

>>7935316
I ordered the rabbit king one. I love rabbits and cats on everything so I was so excited to get it. now I'm just upset im probably out $50

Also not just my thighs/hips are big but my calves too. it's not even because I'm chubs all over. I was like that even when i was a stick. Feels bad. Feels really bad.

>tfw some dumb bitch tries to create a non-cgl related vent thread and the thread gets deleted

ayy lmao

who's the 'newfag' now

>>7935441
>>7935447

>>7935425
Why the fuck were your fingers that close to the needle anon?

>con in a few months
>know i'm not gonna start the cosplay until i only have 2 weeks left

why do i do this to myself?

I feel like a soul inhabiting a dead body.

>>7935246
Anon I'm similair to you, I don't have lupus but jhs (and cfs) and can only do the same exercises as you. I recently changed bc and have gained weight and really want to lose weight and look better in lolita. I hope we are both able to achieve our goals, feel better soon and remain as pain free as possible.

>>7935621
Because you have no discipline

>>7935621
rack disciprine

>con in a few months
>know i'm not gonna start cutting until i only have 2 weeks left

why do I do this 12% bodyfat life to myself?

I don't know what to do, I just feel like a miserable wreck. I have a meetup this upcoming weekend and I feel so sad and disgusting lately, but I have to go since I have to keep up appearances.

>comm is full of nice people but I still feel like I need to wear a new (and perfect) coord every time
>the only pieces I have left that I haven't worn to meets are skirts but I'm busty and short so they look awful on me
>I'm too fat and ugly, I just know they'll think I look terrible
>on top of that I'm having relationship issues and a project due on monday, so my stress is at an all time high

I wish I could bail on going to this meetup but it's too late to back out now. I'm so weak, I feel like I'm going to start crying at the meetup. I'm so pathetic.

>>7935957
Just go there man, if they're really your friends, they're just happy you went with what you have.

>>7935957
Oh, anon, don't put so much pressure on yourself. I'm sure you're exaggerating these negative things. You seem to care a lot about your coords; so maybe you'll look a little different in a skirt, you'll still be well-dressed. Decide if feeling comfortable about your body is more important than coming closer to repeating an outfit; if it is, just pick the thing you feel the prettiest wearing. I seriously doubt anyone will think less of you or anything and will just be happy to see you.

I hope you feel better. Good luck with your project and relationship stuff, too.

>just got turned down on a paid internship I thought I had a good chance of getting and leading to a permanent job after graduation
>I was going to buy myself a dream dress to celebrate
>my computer is also on its last legs
>so my Christmas gift this year will be a computer instead of anything lolita
>mfw no dream dresses incoming any time soon

unrelated to the above but
>spend entire semester changing eating habits and lifting/exercising
>have literally lost no inches or pounds of fat
>have mystery digestive disorder and wonder if that's affecting me
>I may have to just suck it up and sell the skirt I had hoped to fit into
>mfw it's one of my dream prints and I rarely see the JSK/OP for sale

>>7936043
>spend entire semester changing eating habits and lifting/exercising
>have literally lost no inches or pounds of fat

You are doing it wrong.
Please go to /fit/.

>>7936084
Agree with this. Anon just be doing something wrong to not lose anything in a semester's worth of effort.

>>7935203
OT but I love that reaction image!

>>7936043
Count your calories and write down what you eat, fatty.
You're inhaling more than you think you are.

>>7935385
what do you expect, most of the higher ups are idiots that can't get their shit together. they're probably not ignoring just you, if that makes you feel better, they're probably not responding to everyone.

>slightly chub but ok with my weight
>not really over weight or anything, dense muscles from years of ridding and fencing and around 158cm for 63kg
>pear shaped so I can fit in old school dresses
>my mother butt in
>170cm for 53 kg
>anon, you would be better in your body if you loose weight
>after a year of content harassing during which I constantly adjusted my diet to fit me perfectly I just give up
>let my already fragile mind get the best of me
>eating max 850 calories per day
>loose 10kg in three months
>stopped eating all the summer
>when hungry drink green tea
>now bones are appearing on my bust, but still have butt
>I hate the body I used to love because it's so disharmonious, my pear shape shows even more
>I never found being bony attractive, and I loose my round face
>try to eat more
>become sick
>60cm waist
>at least I can fit into very old school

And that's what happen /cgl/ when you bug your fragile, chronically depressed girl about her weight 'so she can feel better about herself'. I love you mom but fuck you.

So many shit buyers recently
1
>Hold a costume for over a month
>Go to message them again and ask if they ever plan on buying it
>Check out their profile
>They already bought the costume from someone else ages ago and just strung me along for over a month

2
>Post WTB ad for AP jewellery
>Girl messages me saying she has a bunch of the jewellery I'm looking for
>Work a bunch of shit out, ask for photos
>It's handmade replicas/ardene shit that would be posted in the cringe thread

3
>Post WTB for a certain print
>Girl messages me saying she has it
>Sends me a photo of a pink tube skirt
>Realized today it's the same chick trying to push her "consultant services"

4
>Post DT for sweet accessories
>Specifically state that I don't want any main pieces
>3 comments and 5 messages, all offering me main pieces

5
>Girl messages me to buy a skirt off me
>Agree to sell it to her at a discount
>As soon as she gets it she relists it for the price I was selling it for originally

>>7935122
>need a job for college but also want for personal things like cosplay and fashion
>probably not going to spend it on things like that for a while.
>parents are getting way harder on me.
>every other day they tell me to find a job and move out.
>just turned 18.
>cant find a job in small ass town.

>tfw love lace monster black-and-white outfits
>tfw love them even if they're really, really bad because I don't even know I just really like them
>tfw my ita love only applies to black-and-white coords so no love for other colours or combinations

>Meet a cute cosplayer back in AX'12 because of Niconico booth(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s7mFi2t6LX0))
>She ended up giving me her LoL IGN because I got Christina Vee to sign her Ahri poster since she didn't have a Riven one then
>end up getting her Skype because of that
>we end up being really good friends

I have my gift ready(a PS Vita with P4G and Danganronpa 1 & 2) for her since her birthday's coming up but to be honest, I think i's pretty much for closure. She got back with her boyfriend month ago, and I can see all too well that she's happier with him. I just got pic related yesterday because she really likes Piyo but fucking hell, this hurts.

I'll be giving it through her friend and I already told her friend to say that it's from him, not from me since I don't want to have my intentions known, for her sake and her boyfriend.

>>7936258
Here's the base image of the giftwrap

>>7936258
>>7936265

>Giving a friend like that a Vita and 3 games for their birthday

Maybe it's because my friends and I don't give gifts in our little group but I think you're letting yourself get played. Particularly in light of the fact that you're doing it for closure. You already gave her a signed Ahri poster why not keep the Vita for yourself?

Then again you can give her the Vita. Whatever you want, I guess.

>tfw 5"3 and 130 lbs
>no muscle at all
>fat upper arms
>broad shoulders
>pot belly

I just want to look cute in my clothes but 95% of things looks terrible on me. At least I can hide my stomach and make my shoulders look less huge in lolita

>>7936258
Oh my god, you're so beta and pathetic

>>7936258
>>7936265
Damn give me the vita I'll play LoL with you all you want lmao.

>>7936270
>I think you're letting yourself get played

She's never asked for it, I just wanted something to make her happy since her friend's been planning to do a group cosplay of SDR 2 for a long time now and she's always wanted to play P4 on her PS2 but she doesn't have the CD for it.

>Then again you can give her the Vita. Whatever you want, I guess.

I already have one though.

>>7936258
That's a really hefty gift to be giving. Do you or the friend in question have a history of giving gifts like this? Because if this is out of the blue I can't see this ending too well.

>>7936286
No, it's why I'm giving it through her friend. Considering as to how he's been badgering his cosplay group for months to do an SDR2 cosplay, he has the perfect alibi. I only lament at the fact that I wanted to get her an Infanta dress for ALA/Fanime, but if I did that, it would put her friend in a really suspicious position.

>>7936275
Thanks, Captain Obvious.

>>7936277
I signed up for the /cgl/ SS, if that's on your list, no problem.

>>7936295
Fuck, dude. Getting gifts like that would make me so uncomfortable. She's gonna work out it was from you.

>>7936295
Quit while you're ahead or give it to someone you KNOW would appreciate it. I don't foresee this going well.

You don't just thrust expensive stuff onto people who you aren't sure if they'll enjoy or not, it just guilts them into taking it and puts them in an uncomfortable spot.

>>7936295
Well, it's one thing to badger a group about a specific cosplay, it's sort of another thing entirely to buy them a new game console with assorted games just for a cosplay.

I feel like I'm missing something here, are you guys all operating on a financial level way higher than your average cosplayer that something like a Vita wouldn't put everyone on red alert?

>tfw tiny feet and hands
>tfw 5'4"
>tfw gr8 half asian features
>tfw hair down to ass
>tfw master lolita features

>>7936295
Do you happen to be the son of a wealthy film maker, photographer, and self described "supreme gentleman"?

>>7936295
This nigga really think he's in an anime and that people can't deduce who they get gifts from.

>>7936341
that's the part I'm worried about, my friend is constantly broke but I trust he can pull it off somehow. He's got a great gu6 and a soul brotha

He's also gay.
>>7936323
>>7936317
I'm genuinely worried about it but I dunno, I've been thinking about this for half a year now and I might as well go on with it.

>>7936379
Not at all

>>7936378
I'm a really plain individual, some Anons I've met from /cgl/ can attest to that.

>>7936380
Well, can't say none of us didn't try to warn you. I think you'd be better off returning/selling the Vita/games and getting the Ahri nendoroid off ebay for $200 and a copy of P4 for the PS2 if you wanted to spend that sort of money and still get away with it with friendships intact.

What's the point in living? Seriously. I've been getting up in the morning for the past 6 years wondering when the soonest I can get back in bed is.

>>7936427
I don't know, the answer's at the end.

>>7936402
Thanks, I appreciate your advice.

disregarding all consequences, I think its best if I just handed it personally, Anon's right, she'll figure out that I'm the source regardless. To me, the reason why I'm doing this is due to the fact that I really like her, otherwise I wouldn't go this far.

>>7936430
Can I just skip to the end?

>lifting every day
>not getting any stronger
>gained belly
This is too hard and complicated.

>>7936436
You could, but will you know what the answer is without learning anything?

>>7936437
What are you doing, how much protein are you consuming, how much weight are you losing?

>>7936445
What does it matter if I learn anything if I can't do anything with it by the end?

>Ugly as fuck
>Incapable of getting girlfriend because of this
>For some reason even though I understand I need to fix this and how to improve I'm stubborn as fuck and don't want to get contacts and straighten my stupid-dick hair every fucking day
>"b-but m-muh true self!"

Fuck stubborness running in my family.

>>7936448
I'm not losing any weight.
I started at 130 and still at 130.
I'm ok with that.
I just wanted some strength, but my belly got gradually bigger.

>>7936234
I think I know who you are based on number 4 - that thread made me cringe so bad, why couldn't they just read it?

>>7936449
Depends on whether or not you believe that the end is a new beginning, or the end of you. We all face the end, but our own perception of the end varies.

>>7936453
Contacts won't help if you're actually just ugly. They might even make it worse.

>>7936463
I'm pretty sure psuedo-spiritual nonsense isn't going to help me out here.

>>7936465
No, I'm pretty sure I look better with contacts. That's what everyone has told me anyways.

I fucking hate contacts though. Even more of a pain in the ass than glasses.

>>7936227
You have to start eating more slowly, anon, if you jump right in you're GOING to get sick. Start with plain bread and small portions of rice and such.

Most people get sick if they eat something too rich after not eating for a few days because of the flu or something, you have to take it slow. I hope you can figure out something that'll work out well for you, and seriously, fuck your mom.

>>7936466
Maybe the answer to life is death, because death may be an eternity, you ought to live it up for the lost time.

>Crushing hard on a guy
>He's a Cook
>He lives on his own
>He has a dog

nice
>spaghetti the fuck out and explain how I believe in ghosts and go on 4chan

woops.

I like him a lot, and if he doesn't approve of lolita, I wouldn't quit it for him, I'd maybe change styles at most.

>>7936458
Haha yeah. I ended up just selling the dress off and deleting the thread. I was really losing my patience by the third time I had to comment "Thanks for the offer, but I'm not looking for any main pieces at this time!".

Also
>Submit post to egl-comm-sales 3 days ago
>I managed to sell the dress elsewhere before the ad even went up

>>7936475
How can I live it up? No one wants me here.

>>7936476
Oh geez, anon,

Did you tell him in the same conversation about the ghosts and 4chan?

>>7936476
that's the cutest thing i've ever heard

>>7936477
Jesus, is it still that backlogged? I thought they would've gotten some help by now, it's been several months since they've been asking for more mods.

>>7936479
No, different conversations.
I'm good at keeping my cool but with him I just tell him everything.

Luckily though, I do have a date with him.

>>7936478
Do you fear what other's feel about you?

>>7936484
Generally I find that other's opinions open me up to more flaws inside of myself.

>>7936477
>>7936481
That'd explain why my post isn't up yet ;_; curse you comm sales

>>7936485
Everyone has their own perspective, it is the truth that they view. They can see you how they want, but your truth is the one that matters most. Your truth can be changed simply by the way you accept it. You avoid others because you fear that they will hate you and reveal all your flaws that you despise. Hating yourself won't allow you from accepting love and placing your trust in others. You are only how you view yourself, if you can love yourself, then things will get better

>dating guy for a couple months
>didn't know him for too long beforehand
>weeb out together, etc
>find myself losing interest when i realize that beyond animu and music we are fucking opposites
>start getting annoyed with his personality that I thought was "cute" to begin with
>he's loud and immature and i get embarrassed of his behavior
>at this point i'm not attracted to him, and know i need to break up with him
but
>supposed to be cosplaying with his best friend I met through him at upcoming con
>not to mention traveling to and possibly staying with
>what do if she hates me because I break his heart
I mean, at this point he has to see too, right? We don't... Connect.
I know I sound like a bitch. I'm aware I have to break up with him, I'm just waiting until I can do it in person.
He is a nice guy, honestly, but we're so incompatible romantically. I'd really be happy to remain friends with him, and his friends, we all get along well. But that's pretty impossible, right?

>>7936502
Seems like the right thing to do, of course we'd all be apprehensive of the consequences that come with a break-up.

I hate that about break-ups, I lost a friend because of it, it got too awkward for her, I guess. She started to avoid me, ate lunch in a different place, switched out of the class we had, wouldn't acknowledge me in the same room.

I should stop ranting now, I hope things work out between the two of you.

>>7936502
just explain to him what you've said in this post - you feel that you are too different as people despite shared interests and as such you would rather be friends for the foreseeable future

>>7936437
Think about adding cardio or high reps with low weight if you're aiming for slim.

>>7936492
Right. But it's not even close to Christmas..

>>7936043
>>7936457

I SEE NO CHANGES

WAKE UP IN THE MORNING AND I ASK MYSELF

IS LIFE WORTH LIVING SHOULD I BLAST MYSELF?

TIRED BEING POOR AND EVEN WORSE I'M FAT

STOMACH HURTS SO I'M LOOKING FOR A GREASY SNACK

>>7936043
changing eating habits isn't enough, it's about the amount of food you eat
lifting and exercising isn't a guarantee for weightloss, it increases the amount of food you're allowed to eat.

If you really cutted calories but lost no fat, cut out carbs to lower your insuline level so your body starts releasing bodyfat for your body to convert to energy again.

Also, take coffee before exercising because caffeïne triggers some mechanism in your body so that bodyfat gets released into the blood stream to be absorbed for energy, but it only works if you actually do something otherwise it'll just be absorbed back into the body

>>7936457
>I just wanted some strength, but my belly got gradually bigger.
cut out carbs completely (with exception of veggies, that means no fruit either) your insuline levels are probably too high for your body to release fat cells, insuline levels go up from carbs and sugar, one of the biggest weightloss mistakes people make is eating shitloads of fruit, fruits are mostly sugars

>>7936602
>>7936604
Excuse me, but I am curious as to the source of your misinformation.

>tfw super excited about secret Santa gift exchange
>get partner info
>likes ouji, anime and manga

All I can think of right now is tiny top hats.

>>7935857
>>7935858
how to discipline

>tfw I encourage men to cosplay masked characters to satisfy my fetish

I know I post about it a lot, but I'm a little obsessed. One of my friends wants to cosplay HUNK now because I convinced him.

Also
>tfw only have money for one con a year
>tfw only have time for one cosplay a year
>have at least six different cosplay ideas I'll never realize

>tfw lone lolita
>Social anxiety has gotten worst, been to hospital and need medication
>Haven't had a car in years, getting cabin fever and worst social skills
>Moved and has made two friends in three years, but they are super stressful, just kind of hanging with them out of desperation
>Went to local meetup, but everyone ignored me despite pained efforts to communicate. They were all friends and it was more of a group shopping spree then a meetup
>All others are hours away
>Defeats depression with shopping, depressed even more about spending even though I'm very conservative

Getting a new car by the end of the month and met a lolita in the same town as me. Finally making more money to buy nice things. nothing can fix my anxiety though.

Send help.

>>7935176
Awe, way to go Anon!

>Recently watched Kill Bill vol. 1 & 2 again
>Want to cosplay Gogo
>Afraid of backlash for doing it wrong
>Because I'm a white girl
>Fuck

>>7935232
Sorry about the job anon. Praying my first shift doesn't go awry this Sunday. ;_; I'll probably make a whole mess of mistakes and I need this job for babby's first jsk.

>be in open relationship with gf
>she's had a lot of other partners but I haven't really had any
>I really like a girl who is actually a very close friend
>She's also in a relationship but I'm 99% it's not like ours
>she probably doesn't even feel the same about me anyway
>I'm so confused and feel really sad

>>7936660
Talk to her?
Talk about how you're feeling about YOUR relationship, and ask if theirs is exclusive or open. Come from a needing-advice angle if you're worried about actually saying "I'm attracted to you." make the focus your open relationship and your feelings about that instead while finding out about her relationship's openness or lack of openness.
Did that make sense? cuase that box wineoops

>>7936660
>I'm so confused and feel really sad

Is it because you're in a open relationshit

>>7936660
>open relationshit
ha

>>7936627
You need to slow your roll, mask-chan. I feel like I've seen you post about this 20 times now.

>>7936607
I'd rather not derail the thread, but I have a website you can use to do your own research with
>www.google.com

>be in comm years ago, mostly adult women at meets (twenty five to thirty), mostly classic and one otome
>everyone is amazing
>have to move to another city
>join the local comm
>so far so good
>girls my age (17-18 at the time) so I thought it'd be the same
but then
>some girl gets ostracised from the comm for some reason
>she's legit cute regardless of what she's like as a person but all of a sudden the whole comm starts talking shit about her behind her back, posting her pictures, stalking her, commenting on her appearance on every single one ("ew she looks so old" "she's so ugly xD" "lol she looks like she has foetal alcohol syndrome" "lmao look at those wrinkles")
>mfw
>next thing they try to pull me into it
>"oh nobody really likes her you know, she's so annoying and has no friends"
>"she did this and that, what a bitch"
>sometime after run after girl in question
>start hanging out with her
>always partially avoid her for fear of being pulled into the drama or being called a hypocrite
>mfw I realise she was a complete weeb and kinda annoying but actually harmless, unlike the girls in the comm
>mfw I believed the fearmongering because "well all of them can't be wrong"
Not actual feels, just reminiscing. I was so close to doing something mean to her as well because I believed those girls, so glad I didn't.

Nowadays when I see people talking shit about someone I'm always really suspicious of the person doing the shittalking as well as the other one, but back then I was young.

>>7936686
I used that website that you suggested to me for research, and it led to a bunch of articles with titles such as "broscience" and "shit soccer moms learn from watching dr. oz"

>>7936258
Serious question. Are you a virgin?

>>7936784
No. I've had in two relationships in the past.

>>7936684
I know, I'm sorry. I'm just really fixated on them. I might actually be going crazy.

I might trip just so people know to ignore my ramblings.

>>7936790
>mfw my tripfag husbando is a slut

>>7936805
>>tfw I encourage men to cosplay masked characters to satisfy my fetish

There are a lot of good ones out there. This one is what I'll be doing for Sakuracon'15 and onwards.

>>7936809

>>7936811
My body is ready.

>>7936817
>>7936811
No one cared who this tripfag was until he put on the mask.

>>7936824
Bar Yang Wenli and Kosaku/Kira, I plan to stick on cosplays with masks is because I don't look appealing at all. Kosaku/Kira works for me because I'm slightly brown.

>>7936476
I prefer girls who browse this site, they are less likely to be tumblr babies or extremely basic.

Its annoying to be watching the morning news and her sobbing at every "disaster". Sure I console her but hell I liked how cynical my ex wouldve said something witty.

>>7936627
You.
Me.
Next CA con
I'll have more masks on me than the Happy Mask Salesman in Majoras mask.
Want me to choke you out with one hand like Pyramid Head? Im down
Take out your Hollow with my Bankai?
Anything goes, your call

>>7936836
>choke you put with one hand like Pyramid Head
How did you know? He's my favorite in my harem.

>>7936866
Out, even.

>speaking with long time no see friend
>they're mentaly ill (schyzophrenia)
>I start to talk about my non-treated problem (I'm chronically depressed, used to have meds)
>mention hallucinations and violent fits
>'uuuh anon, you should see a doctor because that does sound like schizophrenic disorders'
>'no no I'm ok'
>thinking about it later
>agoraphobia, hyper anxiety, no empathy on top of everything above
>I'm fucked
>I have panick attack on the phone, especially when facing offices
>either I wait and try to fix myself up, or I fuck my health up a bit more contacting docs, crossing my fingers so they would actually do something
>what do

to keep it /cgl/ related
>lolita gives me enought confidence to actually go outside and not cry and mess up with my pretty makeup in crowded places/when surrounded by adolescents.
>lolita, better than meds

>>7936923
Meds are merely band-aids. They don't do well if the wounds themselves don't heal.

Lolita is your coping mechanism.

>>7936950
No, meds are not band-aids when it comes to serious disorders like schizoactive disorders.. There is no way to permanently fix messed up brain chemistry and structure. Schizoactive disorders don't go away.

However, >>7936923 since you are still self-aware about your illness, I'd be cautiously optimistic. Schizophrenics have no idea that anything is wrong with them if they're unmedicatied, and sometimes even with medication they're stuck in another world.

I'd go to a doctor now, write down your symptoms with examples of specific instances and severity, and see what they say. Don't say, "oh I think I might be schizophrenic" because they fucking hate that, just present your symptoms and tell them that you're getting worried about the state of your mental health.

>>7936836

>>7936660
I would just mention it next time you hang out with her. IE:
"I did X with GF last week and had a great time, I really love her and all but we have an open relationship and she's had a lot of other partners but I haven't really had any. It makes me feel uncomfortable"

I can pretty much garentee if you say that(Or something along those lines) she will tell you what her relationship is like and her views on open relationships are. IE:
"Yeah things are going great with my BF but we're open too and I..." alternatively "Geez Anon, you should get out of that I don't think open relationships are healthy... etc."

You'll know what she thinks then and can see where you can go from there.

Pic unrelated I just wanted to post it in this thread, it's ideal for feels threads.

>>7936660
NTRd weekly and likes it
GIGAMEGA BETA

>>7935255
>tfw your anxiety won't let you fucking sleep
>the lack of sleep makes you go crazy

>>7935332
>>7935363

I browse /cgl/ all the time and I have no clue how to even start doing this shit.

>>7936043
/fit/ will save you.

Listen to them. They will make you hawt. I am not kidding.

>>7936227
go to /fit/

They will teach you how to build your body in a constructive and reasonable manner that will give you what you need

>>7936476
>spaghetti

I find this cute as fuck because that's how I know when a girl is retarded for me.

>>7936660
>open relationship

hahaha

>>7936482
Good luck, anon-chan!

>>7937092
>>7937094
>>7937108
>>7937112
couldn't you have just put that all into one post

>>7937120
No

I like this way better

>want to work on cosplay project
>but I wanna start a new cosplay project
>end up not doing either because I'm a useless piece of shit
FUCK COSPLAY

>>7937161
>finish
>new cosplay is set for future con
>???
>NIGGERS

>>7936482
good luck
make sure you dont do any spooky things to scare him off

>>7936998
What is this meme called?
I want more of them

>4chan reminded me that I'm ugly again, so have to work on that
>pretty much despise the idea of it though
>no confidence again
>failing my diet and I'm trying really hard to get back into it but I'm a loser with no will-power

Oh and /cgl/-related
>try to make costume
>trying to figure out what to buy and where
>it's all getting so complicated
>pretty sure I'm going to fuck it up
>thinking of buying this: http://www.manycosplay.com/pantystockingwithgarterbeltbriefersbriefrockcostumes-p-1716.html even if it's not that good because I'm afraid of fucking it up myself and I'm lazy.

>>7937112
Why is everyone scoffing open relationships?

>>7937211
I've been thinking of buying my shit instead of making it too. I used to really love making my own cosplays, but it's just really not as fun for me as it used to be. It also isn't really much more expensive to buy one from a cheap Chinese seller when you take all the time to make it into account.

>>7936660
Break up, you fucking pussywhipped piece of shit.

Your girlfriend found an excuse to cheat on you within the bounds of your relationship, and you're not getting any. Hell does your girlfriend even still have sex with you or are you just a shoulder to cry on. Your girlfriend fucking hates you.

>>7936627
I have the same kink, Anon.

>>7937211
>4chan reminded me that I'm ugly again
Why are you putting stock in what 4chan says? You know we're all bitter hags here right?

>>7937238
Probably because most people are a) emotionally ill-equipped to navigate them successfully and b) they're very often a one-sided deal, and even when not, often end in disaster. I've never met anyone in an open relationship where there hasn't been a fuck ton of drama about it.

>>7937243
Best part is, the girl's cheating with everyone else.

>>7937252
Because my friends won't be brutally honest with me except on very rare occassions where they remind me I'm ugly and need to change.

Being rated a 6/10 at my highest in the best picture I can get fucking hurts.

>>7937211
Girl, please don't trust 4chan for accurate judgement of your looks. People on most boards are assholes just to be assholes, and even rate threads on /soc/ are utterly useless.

>>7937257
i think youre Voldie
if you are not youre the cutest piece of awesome out there,
>mfw I see you hurtin'

>>7937238
Genuine, egalitarian, open polyamory for all practical purposes doesn’t exist among Westerners. There’s always one or another party out in the asexual or anhedonic cold, nursing feelings of rejection and traumatic self-doubt (as noted here: >>7936660). And if that party is a willing participant to his or her sexual/romantic exclusion, it’s a good bet he/she is psychologically broken, mentally unstable, physically repulsive, or suffering from clinically low sex drive. In other words, human trash.

>>7937211
I'm ugly in the face but it turns out I have a pretty manly shoulders to waist ratio under all my fat

that motivated me to lose 20 pounds and counting

currently at 1200 kcal/day, all i really have to do is drink water when i get hungry

>>7937252
If that's true, you really didn't mean to call me mtf instead of plain ugly?

>>7937260
>>7937262
>>7937296
I don't need all this right now.

>>7937299
Don't need what? Reassurance that your concerns are probably unfounded if you're basing your confidence in your looks on what 4chan users think? Fine, you ugly bitch, keep whining.

>>7937313
Well I'm a guy, so you're using the wrong gendered insults. Also people on 4chan are still people and they can still judge you to be ugly.

>>7937238
Open relationships usually just mean that the two people are fuckbuddies.

If you actually care about someone enough to want a relationship with them, you should be mature enough to have a relationship with ONLY them.

>>7937370
This. It's for people who can't deal with commitment.

>>7937321
So are Cosmo writers, and they're not too far off from /fit/'s "if you're not an 8 foot giant consider suicide" mentality

Let's say you're actually ugly - what are you gonna do, sit around and see if letting it crush you makes you hotter? Why not try getting your balls out of your purse and doing something for yourself, I promise, it's really, really REALLY not that hard. Shit it gets even easier as time goes on.

>>7935133
i agree ive becomed really disheartened with the fashion because of this attitude

all i wanna do is wear frilly things with other frilly things...

>>7937370
I agree. The people who defend this kind of relationship are just degenerates trying to rationalize their perversions and lack of character, not to mention corrosive. You can’t trust any of them. They’re certainly not people you want to build a life around or with. Sartre and Simone de Beauvoir had this kind of relationship and they were both pieces of shit as human beings. We were given free will for a reason- to rise above being pathetic pieces of shit. There’s more to life than just busting a nut.

>>7936402
>buying nendos for more than 140$
your joking right?

>>7937262
I didn't post that, I don't take what seagulls say about me to heart. Also I don't have shitty confidence.

>>7937444
Nigga misread it. She got an Ahri poster signed by Christina Vee because she didn't have a Riven poster then.

>>7936660
She is only using you anon. Maybe you should dump her and date your close friend instead of continue an open relationship that is as some others said, an excuse to cheat on you several times. So yes, i think you have a relationshit.

>>7936380
Are you even listening to yourself? Your friend is a poorfag and you want him to make this shit plan work?

Jesus fucking christ. You'll accomplish, at best, making someone feel forced and indebted when she didn't ask for it, all because she chose to date someone else. Those aren't appropriate gifts to give to her in this situation.

Let it go. Let. It. Fucking. Go.

There's a Victorian style ball in my state and my comm is going. I'm going to the meet, but also bringing my mom to hang out with her separately. She's going to be wearing one of my coords.
I know people think a 50+ y/o in loli looks weird, but my mom never gets to do anything/relax and she's pretty excited.
>Me if anyone shit talks my mom

>>7937494
Oh my god that sounds so sweet.. I hope you and your mother have a great time!! Don't let the drama get to you!

>>7937494
that sounds adorable I hope everything goes well!

>Missed an opportunity to talk to a cute CGL girl at a con because of cowardice.
>Friend told me if I nut up the worst that can happen is they tell me no.
>No means of getting a hold of them now that I have a retroactive confidence boost.

>>7937544
you posted this beta shit in the last feels thread

get over it already

>>7937321
>>7937257
>>7937211
>>7937299
Holy shit you sound like a female Brandon lmao

>>7937638
>>7937638
Wait a minute I didn't read that you are actually a guy. Brandon-kun??

>mfw i see you all hurting

I feel like I'm getting too old for cosplay. I've been doing it for 7 years, and I feel like I'm snapping out of it. I wanted to make it into the top uni of my country, and now that I made it I have no time left for big projects. In the meantime, my cosplay friend is really starting to get serious, making €200> costumes and doing contests and such. She's planning to give up on school to become a pro. She told me there's no in-between way with cosplay.
My cosplays/general image have always been so mediocre (pic related, rather upload a troll-pic than an actual cosplay of mine here). I enjoy making them I'm not so much into wearing them anymore.
Is this familiar, seagulls? Should I just give up?

>>7936660
CUCK TALES
A WOO WOO

>>7937683
giving up school for cosplay sounds fucking stupid though

Back on track, don't give up. I have a friend that is amazing but job/school/hobby has been fucking stressful for her and she's about to graduate in a art major (I happen to not really listen to her when she rants, sorry) and get a shit load profit out of it. But for her to concentrade on school she has given up on cosplay in the meantime as well as non-local conventions. Doesn't mean she doesn't cosplay anymore, she will be back on track soon enough. It's really a matter of time and I'm pretty sure she's sad about not cosplaying/making cosplays as often as she did, doesn't mean her real life issues should be set aside for a hobby.
Pretty sure she will be able to make money out of cosplay too, but atleast she has real ambitions and a real job. Only my opinion though

>>7937683
Don't give up, just take a break.

>>7936660
Hi, Anthony Burch.

>>7935168
Not that guy, but I honestly would never fuck a prostitute.

They see you as disgusting, you're basically saying that it's okay for people to sell their bodies, and I also don't want to worry about getting robbed or arrested.

>>7937727
That's releaving to read about, thanks for sharing that.
>>7937735
This I definitely will. I'll just cosplay characters in my own age-group as I grow older, if that's something.

I haven't participated in any Lolita events in months because of finances. I bought an AP tea party ticket and was really excited. But now my work can't give me the time off because someone suddenly quit. The only other person off won't switch shifts with me either.

I almost want to sell my wardrobe and quit the fashion because I never get to go to meets anymore because of my work schedule.

>5' 6", 120 lbs
>male
People say I'm "adorable" and "tiny" but honestly my scrawniness kinda limits what I can do. Half the characters I wanna cosplay are muscleheads, robots, or musclehead robots. Everything else are girl characters.

Should I just crossplay? I feel nervous doing it-I feel like I'll just end up looking like shit, but I've only done one or two simple cosplays, so I'd rather not do some big robot or mascot style cosplay...

Thoughts?

>>7937840
Have you considered, I dunno, building some muscle?

>>7937407
What about serial monogamy?

>>7937842
Not really. I don't see a point. I prefer my body being all skinny and whatnot.

>be 5'4 thin male with no real muscle tone
>can't find a single good character to cosplay that fits my small stature

At least tall girls get the amazon archetype to dress up as on occasion.

Us manlets get almost nothing...

>>7937847
Then just do the crossplay.

>>7937840
>>7937851
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kf4rk8Lz5xY

>>7937840
Get /fit/ or tough shit.

I'm a weak ass skinnyfat 5' ~10" motherfucker, but I'm not complaining about my body because I choose to be a lazy fuck.

>>7937407
>There’s more to life than just busting a nut.
many humans beg to differ, sad to say.

>>7937896
>>7937852
Any tips/warnings/whatever about crossplay at cons?

>>7936660
here

I don't know what the big deal is about being in an open relationship?
I love her and we've been together for 5 years.
She has a lot of wants (mainly related to sex) which I can't satisfy.
So I just want her to go out and experience those things, it'll make her happy which is what I want for her.

>>7937905
Run away little brotha

>>7937903
How good looking are you?
Can you pull off being girly.

>>7937905
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MBGaAsRsGcM

>>7937905
>can't safisty my gf sexually so she needs to fuck somebody else
>avoids breaking up to find a girl that will crave muh dick

ok

>>7937915
Actually I never said anything about wanting to find a girl that craves my dick.

>>7937905
You're a tool.

>>7937913
I have really awful self-esteem but people tell me I'm fine. I could probably(?) pull it off?

>>7937847
Skinny mode is p hot.

>>7937918
how about finding a girl who will actually appreciate you and love you? Because this one doesn't

>>7937921
Post your face fukboi.

>>7937918
Nah son, it just proves that you don't want to find a girl that will love you and will offer her body and soul to only you. Stop whinning to us here on how you're not going to break up with somebody who clearly doesn't give a shit about you and plays with your low self-esteem to make it seem like an open relationships proves true love.

>>7937925
le thinking man

Yes, I know I look like shit.

>>7937905
Open relationships are fine but you need to date other people.

>>7937905
>>7937928
also if she fucking needs to experience those things maybe it's the red flag that she's not ready to be in a serious relationship where she's loyal to her partner.

>>7937939
I usually have nothing against open relationships because it usually means BOTH that are engaged into it have the same kinks but this guy have no profit out of it and clearly doesn't look forward dating other people.

>>7937939
>open relationships are fine but you need to date other people

I'm going to edit that and say:
You can't handle open relationships. GTFO out of it now.

>>7937937
>them well defined features
Shit man, I'm jelly.
My face is all squishy and stuff, not chubby, just really soft.
So I get a lot of "cute" comments.

Anyway, I'm not gonna stop you from doing what you want.
And you seriously remind me of Lewis from that mystery skulls animated video.

>>7937955
T-thanks.

>well defined features
>not gonna stop you from doing what you want
Does this mean I look "too manly" to pull it off properly? I don't wanna execute this terribly and make an ass out of myself, ya know?

>>7937937
ur cute :3

>>7937444
>>7937450

I used it as an example of an alternative gift that would not set off "jesus christ this is fucking expensive" alarm bells on either hers or the bf's side but at the same time would satisfy whatever hole that Vita money is apparently burning in OP's pocket. Given that it's also connected to previously mentioned signed poster and reason for initial meeting also carries decent emotional weight (in theory).

I sure as fuck wouldn't pay that much for a nendoroid myself.

(The only reason the Ahri one is that expensive is bc only 10k were made, sold out at championships, etc etc blah blah - to know that you would have to first know that it exists and second be stalking the resale market to know its going value. There's a better chance that she will know less of its value versus a Vita.)

>>7937963
You won't pass but if you want to cosplay a girl for fun then go for it

Do women masturbate while on their periods?

I'm a virgin male and I need to know.

>>7938131
Yes.

>>7938131
Well, I don't normally since it gets really messy if you do. However, if I get turned on enough, sure.

>>7938135
>tampons are messy apparently
>exterior stimulation neglected

your loss

>>7935122
>Tfw you're working a grand total of 15 hours on Black Friday to get time and a half.
Doing it for the burando.

>started changing my lifestyle at the beginning of the year
>notice big differences (better skin, more muscle/less fat, etc.)
>look much better in cosplay than before

For once, I feel good about my body and I'm really looking forward to con season.

>>7937998
It's a habit I've always had. I got my best friend a Zelda 3DS bundle a month for his birthday because nigga has always helped me out through thick and thin. Same person who gave me his old iPhone when my phone was stolen. Same nigga I first met in a /vg/ thread years ago.

It's pretty much just my way of saying I care.

>>7938271
Yeah, it makes sense when you're talking about a best friend who's been there and has a mutual understanding of the depth of your friendship.

It's kinda different when your initial plan included not involving yourself as the giver - I'm actually glad you decided to handle it yourself in the end and really do wish you the best.

>>7936686
>he hates bread

>>7937196
comics

>>7937937
>posting a small picture with parts of your face covered

lel

>>7938349
pls tell me u have a dick

>>7938449
>not knowing every girl here has a dick

>girl i know is cosplaying from something that i am going to cosplay from too.
>tells me when i finish we can cosplay this and this together.
>its been finished for a month and ive told her about it.
>no invitation so i guess she changed her mind.
>probably wont wear it ever since i dont have anyone to wear it with or other way of pictures other than selfies.

>>7936585
That's not what my local wal-mart thinks

>>7936627
>tfw I encourage men to cosplay masked characters to satisfy my fetish
Oh my God, anon are you me. This is my biggest unfulfilled fantasy.

>Placed a large Taobao order two weeks ago
>Just arrived today
>8 wigs, one costume, one ~elegant~ shirt for a cosplay and a t-shirt
>T-shirt is a-ok
>Costume is a little small for me, no problem, work out motivation, quality is all good otherwise
>Elegant shirt is 3 sizes too big and looks overall horrendous. Came with a skirt that is almost too small. Fuck you Asia XL.
>Wigs are all from the same shop, bought a short wig from the shop before and it turned out gorgeous
>Not this time
>7 short wigs and 1 long wig, surprisingly enough, the long wig is the only one I'm even remotely happy with
>1 wig is nearly unwearable because of how offending it is to the eyes
>3 of the wigs doesn't have a visible skintop even though they specifically did on their stock photos
>All wigs are too small for my head and my hair is incredibly visible when I wear any of them (except for the long wig)
>All wigs are super thick and extremely unrealistic looking (not shiny, just so BIG), moreso than any other wigs I've ever owned

Not posting pictures because I'm going to sell this stuff now and don't really want to put my identity out there in case anyone from my local sales community is on here. (I doubt it)
I'm just super disappointed right now. I've got two exams coming up in a month and I'm nowhere near ready for them. I just had a nervous breakdown the other day and have been so upset lately, this was just one thing I was really looking forward to getting. The full order ended up costing me over $200 and I've been saving up for a pretty long time to do this. Just hope I can get rid of all of the wigs and the shirt as soon as possible so I can afford a new order, cause I really need some wigs for my future cosplays.

>tfw all your hopes die

> tfw unmotivated
> tfw you can barely bring yourself to get out of bed and just wish you could sleep all day

I have an important exam in 2 days but I just feel nothing. No stress. No motivation to learn. Nothing at all.
This affects cosplay as well, everything just feels like it's too much of a bother..

>ordering from Closet Child
>last page of checkout, click "buy"
>go to page of one of the items I'm buying just to marvel at it again
>IT'S SOLD OUT
>OH NO
>check out other items
>ALSO SOLD OUT
>WTF NO
>WHAT IS HAPPENING

>lol jk it was me, I bought them
>that shit must be automatic
>heart attack for no reason

>>7938076
Sigh. Do I have ANY potential whatsoever?

>so much cool winter JFash/KFash I'd like to get
>live in SoCal

>>7938709
what the flying fuck you talking about? it was so cold on my graveyard shift that I had to turb the heater up to 80.

>>7938706
You have the greatest potential of being an attention whore.

>tfw the catalog is frozen
Ughhhhh

>tfw your 3 year old cat hisses at you for the first time

i want to die

Getting suicidal thoughts lately, for some reason I have it in my mind that I'm getting too old to do the things i like. I'm only 21 yet, I have it in my head that I can't dress in the things i like soon and I'm just wasting my time.

I've put on weight so I won't wear my cute stuff. I've become so self conscious of my face that I don't even want to go outside. I was doing so well this year after trying to commit suicide. Maybe I am just a ticking time bomb. I mean I have still been depressed all this year but, I learned to just shut off my feelings.

This whole year has been me avoiding having any kind of friendships, whenever i feel I'm getting comfortable with someone I start getting angry at them for everything. I'm aware too that I have no reason to be angry but, the feeling won't leave.

I have also found it is impossible for me to talk to my therapist about this stuff. My gut just feels like it's going to explode if I try speaking about it so I end up putting a front up that I'm doing great.

I don't have friends, I never feel like doing anything, I have lost all interest in my hobbies, I've gained weight, I get angry at everything which, anything from that I don't have emotions, and now I'm becoming a shut in again.

It doesn't help I think there is something horrible going on with my stomach. I have to eat every couple hours to stop the burning but, when I eat my body will sometimes start trying to throw it back up. This has been going on longer than a month now.

I'm on such a thin thread right now. I'm afraid if something will set me off like last year. I just can't get this whole living like a normal person thing down

>>7938889
I know you don't want to talk to your therapists because of the feeling you get, but maybe try rehearsing what you are going to say to bring it up a few times so you don't get so nervous when thinking about it and end up just bottling it up. For some reason that's what always helps me, it gets my thoughts in order so I'm not so nervous about talking to them about it. And the whole putting on weight thing sucks I know, but it has such an adverse effect when you stop trying to make yourself feel cute. Do some awesome new makeup, maybe buy a new cute outfit if you have the means, and let yourself feel good, that's important. Also, your stomach issues literally sound exactly like an ulcer, which can easily be brought on from stress! (Sorry for any typos, I'm on mobile)

>>7938763
A cat can make you feel so terrible about yourself sometimes.
I know that feel.

>>7938649
Motivation will come and go, discipline is forever.

> used to be straight-As dev student + TA + successful freelance dev
> loved the job, loved my coworkers, got along really well with boss, worked a ton of hours, bought lolita with pay
> had to quit to go study abroad
> never got any news from job

fast-forward to now, 15 months later
> get new part-time dev job at another company a few months ago
> like what I work on and the pay
> hate most of my colleagues, the absolutely abysmal level of stress, the company's methods
> talk about it with boss but nothing changes
> start really hating job
> have wild dreams of quitting, going back to freelancing, and working from home wearing oldschool Baby suit sets all the time

but then
> country's government raises self-employed people's taxes again
> oh well
> the Baby-suit-wearing-devlita-thing is obviously not going to happen

This, on top of a few anxiety/self-hating/used to be in really abusive relationships issues from the past 4 years I still haven't fixed. I'm a mess, /cgl/. I'm sorry, I just needed to vent.

>>7938889
How about writing your thoughts down, anon ? If you can't express that to your therapist verbally, a letter/paper can be a solution. If you could write this post, I'm sure you can do it.

>>7938449
Lol, it's some girl on tumblr, she's got low self esteem or something, sorrybear is her handle, I think.

Got the courage to try and kiss my crush at an appropriate moment after a date today. He rejected me. I'm not even that sad because we are good friends and that's the most important thing, but I swear I was honestly thinking he loved me. So I'm a bit angry at myself for not getting it right and embarassing him.
The very week I decided I wanted to turn my life around nothing seems to work. Got rejected from a nice job, got bad grades, some friends ditched me, the person harrassing me on my blog is back and now the only guy I've been attracted to in more than a year just plain don't want me after acting like he could have.
I try to keep it up, but I'm not that strong. I'm just really tired.

>interview for dream job on monday
>super nervous
>imagining all the brand and wonderful items I will be able to afford if I get the job

Hold me gulls!

>>7939162
Good luck, anon! Hope you get it!

>>7939162
Good luck, anon !

>>7939162
Good luck! Hope you get the job!
>>7939156
It's okay anon, things'll turn out for the better soon. In the meantime try some new things and treat yourself to something nice, that usually cheers me up. I can recommend some films if you like.

>be raised in third world country by rich parents
>tell dad I want to move to Canada
>in less than a week, he mentions universities
>"It's great, anon. Lots of my good friends attended, and the campus just looks amazing."
>Google it
>turns out it's some Christian university that passed some sort of anti-gay rule (I'm bi and atheist, I haven't told my parents this and I never plan to because they are African, very zealous Christians and can be mentally abusive)
>don't know how to tell dad I don't want to go there
>don't know any other decent universities
>scared I won't even get in
Stress on top of stress

>>7939198
Go to Mcgill.

>tfw horrific breakout for 3 months
>nothing I do is helping
>try to smile and ignore it
>want to peel my skin off

>>7936274

>also 5'3 and 130 (I lie and say I'm 120)
>fat thighs and legs, small waist, soft belly
>can't wear most pants
>absolutely cannot wear shorts, ever, never ever
>only thing that looks good on me is dresses
>mixed feels about this

I feel like my shoulders are wide, but I know they're not and I'm just comparing myself to anime too much. I think I just hate my arms/shoulders because I have a tanktop tan. My arms are too fat.

I pretty much hate everything except my tits and waist.

>Skinny but was told by ex bf, family, and ex friends that I was ugly and only good for a cheap fuck so always feeling down about looks/insecure
>Introvert
>Wants to please everyone because people's happiness makes me happy
>Tries to do this by buying people items and being generally nice
>Has social anxiety due to above
>Conversations are always awkward and anything I say comes out awkward and/or stupid
>Doesn't say anything to not offend anyone
>People consider me a snob because of above
>People consider me boring because of above
>People take advantage and consider me a fool because I'm not edgy or an arsehole.
>People complain about my English because of above
> "Being shy or having social anxiety doesn't work in the real world!"
>Mfw to everything

Why the fuck do I care.

>>7935133
Is still not as bad as cosplay

>>7939141
but I don't have any discipline either

> be an alcoholic
> doing the sinclair method
> Is not working as well as i hope
> still believe it will work because it's actually science based
> bf skeptical
>drink to much last night
> not even sure how
> throw up everywhere
>double date cut short
> bf yells at me that I'm an embarrassment and i ruined the evening
Just fucking kill me already

>>7935133
>>7937393
I recently got fed up and decided to switch over to himegyaru. I'm going to become a slutty pink princess bitch and never look back.

>>7939093
I'm going to have to try harder for the rehearsing thing. I've never been good at talking about feelings. It doesn't help that I have an anxiety disorder so just getting to the office really gets me. It's one of those mental health places that only take medical. So sitting in the office makes me really nervous because of the people. I think I psych myself out too much before even getting to speak to my therapist.

The weight has been the worst! I use to only wear shorts and skirts, now all I've been doing is wearing frumpy jeans and big T-shirts. I guess it will only keep getting worse if I only see myself not trying to look better.

I am going to go to the doctor an get that checked, it has been miserable. I don't really know how to relieve the stress though, both my parents are kind of uh... Well they both have horrible health conditions. I've really been worried about both of them dying.

>>7939145
I've always wished I could write things down because I hear a lot that it helps. I have a weird thing about writing though. Like I have a phobia, I have a slight learning disability and its just a long story.
I think I tried once and got pretty sad because reading back on it, it was just pretty pathetic things. Plus, would be scared someone would read my stuff.

>>7939219
Oh and to add about the someone reading it, I'm pretty sure my mom might. Even if nothing bad is in it to let someone read it (Therapist) i'd probably chicken out last moment. I have tried to talk to people this way and thats what happened.

Sorry I can't really think straight right now so, a lot of what i say may not make much sense so I apologize ahead of time.

>>7939216
go to AA

find a legit place tho with cool people. did it for 6 months. fun stuff.

>>7939148
girls with low-self esteem are da best

>>7939198
Well that sucks, I can vouch for Canada being better than most third world countries though.

>>7939216
You really need to go to AA.

>>7939273
No. Fuck aa. It had one of the lowest rates of actually keeping people sober and aa people have flat out told me you have to believe in something for it to work and I'm an atheist. Also, there's a pretty high instance of women getting raped and harassed by other aa members

>>7939281

Yeah, I had to read the 12 rules or whatever of AA, and yup, it involves god or some higher power. I had a lot of people telling me as well that it wasn't working, had a very cliquish mentality, and were not friendly to newcomers. I'm sure it varies from region to region, but it's not the greatest group for everyone. I didn't know about the women getting harrassed, or even the stats though. Could you link me? I'm quite interested in the stats, and I'd really appreciate the source!

>>7935122
>Be born with a rather ugly Orthodox name
>Change it before moving to another country (both are in Europe)
>new name is a really bland name and used in pretty much 90% of the world
>except in my country
>visiting my hometown this year, meeting old friends, all I keep hearing behind my back was "who does she think she is"/"she's trying to hide where she's really from"/"she's ashamed of her heritage lol"/"she thinks she's better than us now"/"she thinks Western Europeans are somehow better than us? lol"
>pretty much the Slav version of "she actin white"
no bitch, it's just hard to pronounce and I don't like it. I don't even mention it to people and let everyone call me by my old name, and I still kept my last name. How is that forgetting muh heritage?

>>7939290
Sorry, I have no idea where to find the article or what it was called :( I've had some people say you can believe in any kind of higher/cosmic force but I really just don't.

>>7939293
What was your old name, anon?

>>7939312
Sorry, can't say. There's a tennis player with the same name, it's all I'll mention.

>>7939318
Boy or Girl

>>7939290
>>7939281

Well she needs something outside of her own willpower to stop drinking because that's unhealthy.

>>7939293
What is your new name?

>tfw i often feel very alone when it comes to lolita
>tfw a beginner, no brand, sometimes feel ita and ugly
>finally mustered up enough confidence to go to a meet up
>look for soon meet ups in my area
>nothing
>tfw just wanna have friends and hang out and not be lonely
>tfw when i start reconsider my confidence to want to go in the first place, anxiety, often just quietly sit in the corner of every social event i go to
>tfw i dont even know if i wanna go to my first meet up or just be a lone lolita
maybe there will be a christmas meet up, and maybe ill go, or maybe ill just sit and cry and look at pictures from that christmas meet up and i wish i could go

>was in a very abusive relationship for 4 years and lived far from family or friends
>had suicidal thoughts before that
>hikikomori NEET
>I dread sleep because I always end up crying
>finally left him last year, toughed it out, moved back in with family
>he married one of the girls he cheated on me with immediately after I left and she recently popped out a kid
>holding my shit together but I still cry several times a day (now it's mostly not about him)
>only 3 long distance friends
>want to vent about everything yet don't want to push people away
>vent somewhat often because I'm at my breaking point
>feel like a fucking idiot and beat myself up about saying anything
>stopped talking to all 3 friends 2 weeks ago because it hurts so much when they tell me they don't want to listen to my problems
>any new people I meet think I'm rude/weird because I'm so shy and start shaking and stuttering
>feel like I'd be a burden on anyone who got to know me better

I became somewhat successful with an online business after I left him, lived in a foreign country most of the year, met a lot of people, got outside as much as I can, really got out of my shut-in lifestyle comfort zone and pushed my limits, but I still feel this way.

I met an amazing guy but it's been a struggle convincing myself that it's ok to let someone into my life when I'm like this. He knows what I just got out of but if he had to constantly console me because I am bombarded with thoughts of suicide I just know that would make me feel worse. I just do my best to seem happy with him. It seems a little fake but I don't want to allow myself to feed into my own misery in front of him. I can sleep and I have alright days when we're together so I don't want our relationship to become a pity party. I just want to improve so I can truly appreciate my time with him without nagging voices putting myself down.

>>7939330
I'm taking medicine for it
Is just that for some people it takes months to work and I'm apparently one of the unlucky ones

>>7939359
What was the online business?

>not conventionally good at social situations
>often feel like a ring-in
>perfectly friendly and can hold conversation, but often get a bit too eager and say stupid and/or embarrassing shit that I regret later
>this matters less with lolita gatherings because everyone is similar or worse and can just laugh it off
>unfortunately have non-lolita gathering day after meet-up
>already feeling fucking idiotic over meet-up shenanigans
>now have to go and pretend to be a normal human for several hours with strangers/friends of sister-in-law
>feeling awkward because don't even know the person the party is for very well
>feel like they only invited me because I'm the sister-in-law and do the family invitations/business cards/whatever for free, including the ones for this party
>voice insecurities to husband morning of
>he's an ass about it and just tells me to stay home if I'm going to be so whiny
>go to party feeling fucking miserable and wondering if it's really just insecurities or if they really just invite me to things out of obligation
>come home exhausted and start the cycle again

My EMS package has been in customs for 3 days and hasn't updated at all on the tracking. Normally it only takes a day for them to decide they want to charge fees, if it was sent by SAL it would have arrived at my house by now. Ugh

>>7939323
Girl, naturally
>>7939334
Can't say anon, sorry
It's a very unique situation and if I told you, combined with the info I gave out already, I'd be very easy to figure out - not to mention that a lot of people from my home country are into cosplay and we know each other well enough

>>7939359
email me if you wanna vent, anon
vbozj+a6uedjpbu2j1c@sharklasers.com
I'll respond, dw
Sorry if it's a creepy idea

>search for pastel goth stuff on fb
>there are many cute accessories that i would wear with lolita and regular goth stuff
>clothing not really my style i'm more oriented into sweet and gothic lolita
>hair colors/wigs are cute yes but won't wear them
>i start to feel a love/hate for pastel goth
>because most people wearing it don't know any shit about being goth
>it's like the new emo
>i noticed also most people don't even listen any spooky/dark music or they even are attracted to dark literature, movies, a bit of lifestyle etc...
>posers everywhere
>why people don't call this fucking style creepy cute and not pastel goth
Man, i wish this trend would die totally but at the same time i love the accessories (except flower crowns, i'm tired of them). I have also some friends into pastel goth/creepy cute but i won't never tell them how i feel about this style, even if they consider it only a fashion.
>gothic lolita is the way

I'm having trouble telling what is real anymore. A lot has happened lately that I'm honestly not sure if it was real, or a dream or I imagined it. It's just little things, like being ina bathroom and beating my head against the wall? Did that happen? I drink a lot but don't do drugs...

>>7939473
>drink a lot

What's up with anons drinking a lot and wondering what's going on? Fix this first and you will fix a lot of other problems. Not every problem but a few.

I say this from personal experience.

>>7939478
I'm the same anon. It's only happened recently so that's why I'm concerned.

I hate my body hair so fucking much. Nothing works with it, especially on my legs. If I shave it looks like I have stubble and if I wax it regrows back after 2-3 days and I'm itchy as fuck. At least with lolita I can cover it up but I can never bring myself to wear shorts/miniskirts, not even in the summer, despite being pretty thin, I just don't want to see my ugly legs.

>>7939478
Also I've stopped drinking before and my life got worse. Stupid I know

>>7939414
>if it was sent by SAL it would have arrived at my house by now
Don't kid yourself

>>7939344
just hang in there, slowly leave your comfort zone as much as possible and soon you will be a social butterfly :)

>>7939359
>thoughts of suicide

Whenever you have those, think how far you've gotten now. You've finally gotten away from the guy that has ruined your confidence, you're on the fast track to success with the decisions you have made since then.

As for friends, you're on the right board for that, at least, every I've met in 4chan have been great people to the point that it made me wonder if I've really had real friends for 20 years before I got to this site.

>>7939482
Epilator, anon. I'm pasty white with raven hair and it's really noticeable. The more you do it, the softer the hair gets and then you can shave it off without the stubble being as itchy or noticeable, in a pinch, or keep epilating.
I went from George of the Jungle to normal human female in a year.

>>7939359
Image this anon. Your dipshite of a ex boyfriend probably abuses his new family and the bitch he cheated with has to deal with the shite you did but also popped a kid with the bastard.

Also you have a loving and understanding boyfriend now.

>>7938706
Honestly, because of your features, there's little chance you could pass as a girl. But that doesn't mean you shouldn't try if you want to have fun and just do it. You're cute anyway, so do what you want.

Or, you could find a girl to cosplay who wears a half-mask or something. Maybe a nurse character? Or a character with a high collar. Your jaw is the biggest giveaway, which is why I'm suggesting these things. I don't mean to sound offensive.

>>7936639
Have you been taking your medication? Stick to it religiously. It really does help. If the effects are not what you need after a month or two on it then get your doctor to switch you to another one. Keep trying till you find one that works. If medication doesn't seem to be enough, go to a therapist.

>failing a class
>have taken it twice now
>too late to drop out
>just spent $350 on Taobao the other day
My anxiety over this is awful and all I can think about is how I'm a fuck up and somehow failing this class means my boyfriend won't want to be with me and I'm going to end up homeless or a neet again.

>>7939609
I've also been having major memory problems for the last few years that seem abnormal to me especially compared to my boyfriend who has an amazing memory.
Even day to day my memory recall for most things is blurry if anything at all, and I can't remember past conversations or specifics even if they were important or made me upset. All I can remember is "we fought, vaguely a reason it started, and nothing else"

>>7939503
I will try an epilator then and hopefully it will turn me into a regular human being too. Thank you anon!

>>7936639
>lone lolita
>social anxiety
>Defeats depression with shopping, depressed even more about spending

Wtf anon are you me
On a more serious note, have you considered seeing a therapist for your anxiety? It really helps, I can assure you it does. You will get better! Also, remember to take your meds regularly.

>I did a cosplay trio with my boyfriend and our mutual friend
>bf costume is great , mine is good, friends is terrible
>like, im not nitpicking, she had to hold herself together to keep pieces from falling off and in pictures she faced sideways so you couldn't see the front of her stuff, which she messed up
>bf posts a picture on reddit
>they all love his costume and hers, but hate mine
>I know for a fact my costume was better than hers, the only reason people liked hers was because she had good lighting and I didn't
>people started nitpicking my costume and telling me ways to change while saying hers was so great
>That's like saying, "I don't like this pizza you made, it should have been a burger" while you eat dog shit out of a bag.
>I'm not even sad I'm just pissed they are so stupid.

>find a small stain in my milky planet jsk
>manage to almost get it out
>leave the dress unattended for a few hours to dry off
>come back to find new small stains in several places
>can't get these out at all

At this point I just want to throw it away and replace it.

>tfw yesterday I made out with a girl I've liked for over a year and we're starting to get into a relationship
>tfw she wants to go to a convention with me in a few months, but doesn't want to cosplay
It's a great feel, with a small bad feel wedged in there. I just need to get her into vidya and she's perfect.

I like how nobody comments on >>7938237

>>7938648
You say you had a nervous breakdown like it's no big deal. That rings alarm bells for me.

>>7939204
You have a very healthy BMI, your body shape sounds great, and I think you should be more positive about yourself and your situation.

>>7939205
Have you dated anyone since the guy that insulted you?

>>7939609
Why are you having so much trouble with that specific class? Is it the material, your attitudes towards it? Must you take it to graduate?

>>7939641
You're talking about redditors. People that gather on there are the 99% of a given subject of interest. They're regular people by internet standards. And regular people are idiots. You need to get- and value- the opinions of the obsessive amateur experts that lurk places like this

>>7939886
>They're regular people by internet standards. And regular people are idiots.
Yeah, people keep saying this. Honestly, I'm not upset they didn't like my costume, in fact, I was pretty sure I'd look bad next to my bf, I'm just baffled by their stupidity that they liked my friends more.

>>7937407
>believing in free will

I'm planning on killing myself. I'm not depressed or anything I'm just at the end. I'm done waiting for it to get better. I'm deathly shy so it's hard for me to reach out to my close friends just to talk because I feel like I'm bothering them. I can't make new friends because I'm a listener and can't hold a conversation. I'm mediocre at everything I do and not much on the eyes. I have no contributions to give to this world.

I just feel bad because my boyfriends bestie killed himself two years ago. I don't want him to think me doing this is his fault. If anything I want his life to be better with me not in it anymore.
Kinda sucks.

>>7940248
You say you aren't depressed but, from what I just read, you are pretty depressed.

I'm >>7938889 I know what it feels like just wanting to finish it off. I almost didn't make it. I did realize something though after I woke up in the hospital is, how much you really contribute to people, even if you don't feel it right now. I won't lie and say things are going to magically get better but, you won't know if you just end it here. Talking to friends about this stuff is difficult, you won't be bothering your friends if you talk to them. I can guarantee it. If you really can't, try talking to someone online. It's way easily to vent it out to someone through messaging.

I hope you change your mind and find something to feel better.

Sorry if you don't want to hear all this crappy cliche stuff. I just understand how hard it is to being deathly shy though. I myself haven't yet found a solution either.

>>7939456
We have similair thoughts anon.

It's also slightly upsetting that very few gothic lolitas actually like gothic music or literature or art.

>>7940291
You need this
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X1Sp8m5UORM&list=UUZ2FLXdymtzhXmOOY3z1dHw

>>7940302
You need to let the lord and saviour Andrew Eldritch into your heart.

>>7939484
True story, had 2 packages shipped at the same time, one was SAL and one was EMS, the SAL arrived first because the EMS one was stopped and charged customs, so I had to wait until I received a letter in the post so I could pay the fee.

I also will probably have to phone up tomorrow if it's not left customs by tomorrow as it normally doesn't take THIS long to actually update with 'customs charging' or 'left international hub'.

>>7939478
I think they are really depressed and so cope with it using addictions. And when stuff is getting worse, it could be really dangerous because you can risk your life.
>>7940291
Most gothic lolitas wear only the fashion infact, they don't even listen to "gothic lolita related music" like Malice Mizer or M10M or love Mana-sama, well not every gothic lolita need to do this they can also like more "western" music. My favourite artist is Kaya/Schwarz Stein not even Mana-sama and his music projects (but i listened to it, now not anymore because when i hear MM or M10M i start to cry and remember my ex best friend). I need to work more about a gothic lolita lifestyle, i'm not 100% goth but i'm working on it.

>>7939456
>tfw I'm obsessed with spoopy shit incl. 19th century gothic novels, vampire lore, cryptozoology, horror movies, true crime/serial killers with a spoopy twist, black humor and generally just everything gawf and macabre besides the music (although I love me some Malice Mizer)
>people who follow me on tumblr seem to think I'm goth as shit
>don't dress remotely gothic (half my wardrobe is ETC in bright colours)
>every time I post an outfit pic I lose like 10 followers

>have fucked up eye
>have to keep it covered or I'll get an awful migraine
>scared for years to get into lolita because I don't want anyone to think I'm doing some stupid kawaii mutilated doll uguu thing
>finally man up and do it
>been a lolita for six months now
>save a fortune only buying one contact lens at a time instead of pairs

Silver lining.

>tfw my girlfriend doesn't want to cosplay with me
Fuck.

>>7940649
I understand your feels anon. I love mostly sweet lolita stuff (i'm still that anon that complained about pastel goth) but at the same time i like gothic lolita, except for the church related stuff or buildings because i'm atheist and not liking historical stuff in dresses. I have like two sides of me one is pastel vomit shit so sweet lolita and fairy kei one is more dark with some casual gothic/punkish oufits (more cute than sexy like skulls, creepy animals, leopard, tartan, doc martens, etc). I love also ETC stuff, especially strawberry or cherry themed! I like also some gothic artists (also japanese) and industrial music too, sometimes a bit of metal. Not really into crimes or serial killer history/movies, i'm more a dark fantasy fan (vampires and such). So i feel as you even if i dress goth but my first lolita love will be always sweet.
I think most goths around believe people that don't dress as them aren't interested in the darker side, so that could be a turn off for some and so losing followers. A really sad thing.

>>7940650
What's wrong with your eye?

>>7940915
It's light sensitive because of an injury from when I was a toddler.
My brother was running at me with a pencil saying "Look how sharp I got this pencil," and stabbed right into my eyeball.
Because child logic.

>>7941022
Jesus Christ. Do you at least have a cool eye patch, like the girls from Senran Kogura?

>>7941035
Oh yeah, I've got a collection of them now.
I like to match the patch with whatever I'm wearing.

>>7941045
Holy shit Anon, please show me, this is pretty interesting. I think eye patches are cute.

>>7941050
Oh for real?
Well alright, I'll post one later, I'd do it now but I don't have any pics on my phone.

>>7941057
Yeah, I like them, I'm pretty weird lol. And I'm looking forward to it!

>>7941067
Welp here it is.
This is my go-to casual patch, it's pretty ghetto but it gets the job done.
Please excuse the lack of makeup and overall haggardness.

>>7941406
That's pretty awesome! How many do you have? Can you get a picture of like all of them on a table or something?

>>7941406
Have you done any cosplays that require an eye patch? If yes, got any pictures?

>>7941406
>Snake, try to remember some of the basics of cgl

>>7938763

>>7941579
still my favorite thing I've ever seen /cgl/ post.

>>7941686
>tfw more girls don't follow this
But what was the context?

>>7941579
This is the first thing that made me laugh this weekend
I haven't left my bed in two days except to pee or get snacks

>>7941406
I think you're cool anon.
This is pretty fucked up and don't mean to offend you but sometimes I wish I had a reason to wear an eyepatch all the time. I think it is cool and kind of bad ass. I am sorry about your eye though anon.

>>7941716
What's wrong, anon?

New thread here, everyone. >>7942040

>>7941690
I don't really remember, the post numbers there man.

IIRC probably just
>This guy is really sweet, what should I do?

>>7939488
thank you anon, im trying my best to!

>boyfriend just broke up with me
> was my cosplay partner and did all the nerdy stuff I like with me
> sorry anon I like you a lot but I don't really love you anymore
> feeling alone in this world

>tfw binge shopping problem
>tfw stressed and overwhelmed lately, so spending a ton of money
>tfw dreamdress comes up right after I already blew my budget for the month
>tfw
This is kinda the last straw for me, I just broke down and cried for about 15 minutes over a fucking dress. At least I managed to stop myself from buying it.

>at psych ward
>go on 4chan
>you're banned for posting CP
>mfw
>message janitor or whoever
>appeal denied
>ok.jpg

>Keep waking up in the middle of the night in pure existential crisis
>Realize that I will probably never recover from the negative effects a series of events has caused me
>Been growing increasingly suicidal
>Only thing stopping me right now is fear of failing

>have only one friend
>friend is bf
>rope him into cosplays but secretly wish for cosplay friends
>work as waitress
>slow night, one table
>talking to manager about FF
>notice customer wearing FF shirt
>"wow, i was just talking to my manager about FF"
>embarrassed and walk away
>come back to deliver checks
>customer engages in vidya talk
>"anon, you look like you like anime? do you cosplay?"
>spaghetti everywhere
>customer shows decent cosplay he's done
>"we should be friends"
>sperg harder and talk about how i don't want friends
>emphasize bf
>customer says he has a gf too
>she runs a maid cafe
>anon, i can hook you up let's be friends why are you nervous
>actually say sorry and walk away mid conversation

Fuck my job
Fuck my coworkers
seriously fuck dumb bitches.
I am so thankful for my lolita friends otherwise I would have quit and jumped off a cliff by now. But I need money for that brando.

I like old school sweet... It's what my wardrobe consists of. But now that I've joined a comm, I somehow feel a bit scared about going to meets since it seems like most people in my comm are classic lolitas. I don't want to feel out of place when I'm already wearing these wacky ;) clothes. I mean they are all so elegant, and I don't feel elegant at all...
Stupid, but those are my feels.