/cgl/ - Cosplay & EGL

>>7753990
>"I love her for just the way she is"
>Doesn't actually love her for the way she is

>>7753990
My boyfriend thinks the look of lolita and j-fashion is stupid but he appreciates that it's something I'm passionate about and likes that it gets me out of the house. I don't wear it around him or take him to meetups. I'll show him pictures of dresses and stuff I like, I'll text him pictures of myself at meetups, but that's it.

What were peoples comments?
I usually ask my boyfriend before wearing lolita. If he sounds really offput I don't do it. Lately though it's been more often and it's annoying because I already don't get to wear lolita much.

>>7754122
Why the fuck are you with your boyfriend

If he doesnt like you wearing Lolita on your own terms leave that faggot

>>7753990
>how to solve the j-fashion disliking bf issue
>never date a normie
>most of the times won't understand your fashion and trying to convince you into dressing as a normalfag

my favorite part if where he assumes she's dressing to get his attention and not because she, you know, likes those clothes.

cool dude. you like her in normal clothes. that doesn't mean she needs to stop wearing what she wants.

>>7754132
this. dating a normalfag is awful

Do you think she has a tumblr? I wonder who she is and if she's really that pretty/efamous.

>married
husband could care less about what I wear/ how OTT I get.

http://www.reddit.com/r/relationships/comments/2dd7u3/me_24_m_with_my_gf_23_f_girlfriend_has_princess/

If anyone wants to read the comments
(I'm not OP btw)

>>7754163
Spoiler alert: people are taking the girl's side and telling her bf to stfu.

>>7754163
>reddit relationship advice
>expect the worst
>it's pretty much what /cgl/ would say minus trolls

>>7753990
Wow. I hate how he's like "I've let her know I love her just how she is" meanwhile he's hates how she is.

My boyfriend loves my clothes (mix of normal, classic lolita, and random cute jfash) and even went and got me a clothing rack specifically for my lolita wardrobe because I mentioned I wanted one.

>>7754144
Reddit pretty =/cgl/ meh
Reddit blog famous = 100 followers max

>>7754164
>>7754170

It's interestingly in complete contrast to >>7754132 and >>7754142

How did they even get to five years

>>7754130
>>7754132
>>7754077
>>7754086
>what is making compromises

and so many people wonder why they are lonely

My husband accepts that I dress weird, but he secretly likes the attention both of us get when we're out together in public.
We're a pretty odd couple to behind with.

>husband dresses in mostly black/dark colors; a big, black-hispanic guy who wears skinny jeans and sports a mohawk, facial piercings, and 2 inch gauged ears
>I dress is sweet, casual, or otome outfits in public.

The stares we get when we are out together are hilarious to the point it has induced a spit-take or two, especially when getting a reaction from older people.

>"My lawd, that girl is so pretty, but she's with that colored fellow with stretched out ears and spikes all in his face.."
>actual comment overheard when we were out having coffee together

Relationships are about compromise and discussion. To meet a middle ground, you have to actually talk about it beyond "You know I love you, right?" You have to actually voice your expectations and your feelings on these subjects. Having said that, there's a point where "compromise" becomes "do what I want, because I don't like what you like." And that's not cool and an indication that the relationship should end, because neither party is going to end up happy.

For example, this is how it goes with me and my boyfriend:
>wear lolita daily, even for work
>meeting boyfriend's extended family for first time ever at big reunion
>boyfriend voices hesitation about my wardrobe choices for this reunion
>asks me to skip the lolita so I don't freak out his super conservative aunts and uncles
>discuss options and come to an agreement on toning things down
>show him what I intend to wear, we agree on changes until the outfit satisfies both of us
>end up wearing a lolita dress casually as a sundress with crochet bolero and sandals
>minimal make up and natural hair
>at reunion he's able to stay relaxed, I'm comfy and still feel like myself, but his family doesn't jump down his throat about me being a weirdo
>everybody's happy

>>7754182
Five months?

The REAL question here is does she dress like a real princess or an ita lacemonster? I don't think this BF is aware enough to tell the two apart.

>>7754195

Oh man. I read it wrong.

Well, that explains things a bit more then.


>>7754196
Given that her boss and other people like the way she dresses, I'd say she's at least not an ita.

>>7754193
You're fuckin' super, anon.

Seriously, I can understand apprehension when it comes to "time and place", especially when making an impression with family.
I'm happy you were able to still wear what you wanted + express yourself + your bf and his fam were happy, as far as I know.

A+.

>>7754196
Someone should comment and ask for a picture of what she wears.

>>7754191
You guys sound like an adorable pair looks wise, sad that people make trashy remarks like that.

>>7754187
There is compromise and the there is the expectation that SHE should change. Why can't he? If he cared he would discuss ways that both of their needs can be satisfied. My 2 cents though is that if he is freaked by her hobby five months in they may not be compatible. He has to realize that it's been in her life longer than he has and it makes her happy. I am so lucky my bf is okay with my cosplay, I get that it's a hard fucking medium to find when one person is a normalfag and one has an hobby like this.

>>7754196
This actually. If she's ita as fuck, I'd be concerned and I can sympathetize with the bf. But if she does look nice (but over the top in terms of public norm), they could compromise with loli outfits that are more casual. (I assume she's going all out with pink wig, dolly makeup, poof to the max outfits.)

>>7754214
From his comments, I got the impression she was more rather than lolita. But looking back through his comments, it is hard to tell.

>>7754228
Mori* * or even dolly kei or cult party kei

>>7754130
It's more like he doesn't like the extra time getting ready and he "feels like a slob" in comparison
He actually did ask me to wear lolita to one of his family's weddings so it's not like he dislikes it.

>>7754210
>My 2 cents though is that if he is freaked by her hobby five months in
I don't see this the same way, guy in OP just wanted the hobby not to consume her entire life.

You wouldn´t your boyfriend to be playing p.e. videogames 24/7 either , reasonable requests imo. But maybe thats just my interpretation of relationships

>>7754247
Meh his comments seem more like concern trolling
"I am worried people won't see her kindness"
and that's your concern how exactly? People in her career support her. And the bit about how he's uncomfortable with people taking secret photos of her seals it. Shouldn't he be pissed at the assholes taking pictures of his girlfriend behind his back?

I feel like there is a time and a place for everything. I dress up everyday but not always in Lolita. I'm respectful that sometimes my Boyfriend may not want to go out and be the center of attention with me as well as i would also like to have a date without being bothered by strangers. On the other hand, i love my fashion and he can't control what i wear. I wear it out with girl pals mostly, often enough with him that he's comfy with it and on my spare time when i want to. But I always keep him in the loop, we discuss it and he'll even wear something to match if i plan for that to be a Lolita date. Yes your partner should support everything that you do, but you have to also respect their comfort level. Having an open conversation about these things pretty much makes it easy and i never have to worry. I love him for it and it's made wearing lolita really enjoyable for me. =)....as for the Girlfriend from Reddit-clearly she doesn't respect him and he's resentful of it. Sounds like the brewing of trouble unless they learn to communicate better.

>>7754187
Making a compromise would be to keep your bf outside of the meetups and fashion and go do your thing on your own.

He met her while she was already into the fashion and he's not asking her to compromise but rather to change for him.

As long as she knows when she can and when she cannot wear the fashion, I don't see why he'd want her to change that part of herself.

>>7754240
I would bet it's this. My boyfriend has said the only reason me dressing up ever bothers him is he thinks he looks extremely under-dressed or lame in comparison. So it's him being self-conscious.

>>7754173
That is a good bf!!
>>7754142
Also, i'm not attacted to normies, not only about physical appearance but also about their hobbies and interests, that are not my cup of tea. It's more fun to have a bf who share your interests in japanese culture, anime/manga, games etc...
>>7754210
This. I'm picky to find a bf because i want him to be compatible and understanding of my interests, not judging me of what i like and say it's stupid, i would get hurt because my hobbies are a part of me and i'm not willing to change them for a person who is not for me. Waiting and choosing the right person for you it's what make a relationship happy and long term. Also, anon... you are lucky to have a bf who understand you love cosplay! When someone really loves you, he/she won't try to change you but he would love you as you are and what make you happy.
>>7754214
Well i don't think she would be an ita, maybe just a bit OTT? I don't even dress OTT also i for pratical reasons and it's not comfortable for a daily basis.

>>7754191
That's my kind of couple

>small, childlish looking girl with round face
>love huge buff metalheads

>>7753990
I don't have a boyfriend nor am I a lolita, I'm kind of a normie. But one of my dreams is to maybe one day go to SDCC with future boyfriend and the both of us could dress up as a couple. I feel like even the most normal of guys would enjoy doing that?

>>7754191
This sounds like Paradise Kiss

>>7754253
>as for the Girlfriend from Reddit-clearly she doesn't respect him and he's resentful of it.
That's what you got from that post? If she didn't respect him, why would she stop wearing hair accessories when they're together in an effort to tone it down?

>>7755088
Every thing should sound like Paradise Kiss imo.

>captcha : nutsie rose
Miwako, is that you ?

>TFW dating a normalfag

My boyfriend really doesn't like sweet, so I transitioned to gothic and found that it suits me much better. He always said I'd look so much more beautiful wearing darker colors with more intense makeup and he was right.

That said, Musee du Chocolat and Melty Royal Chocolate call my name, so if I ever get my hands on those, he'll just have to deal with it.

He's super supportive of everything that I want to do, but he'll give me his honest opinion on a dress. He doesn't mind if I wear dresses he doesn't like, but he'll tell me if they don't look good on me, because sometimes I'm blinded by how much I love it that I don't notice how bad it looks.

If he really hated something, though, I wouldn't by or wear it.

>boyfriend feels

Threads like these make me miss my ex. He dressed like a thug but was into anime and accepted my style and even wanted to dress up with me some day.

Unless she's putting herself in some serious debt or something I don't see a reason for a partner to be so concerned about how she dresses?

My boyfriend can't into fashion, much less jfash. His mom, on the other hand, really likes what I wear and got me an AP gift card for Christmas.

>>7754136
Most men assume women dress up to attract their attention and be attractive to them. hence the 'she was dressed in a provocative way' argument that oftens pop up in defense of cat callers and sometimes rapists.

When I think most of the time women dress for themselves or to impress other women. At least I do. Not really into ugly middle aged men undressing me with their stares. It's gross.

>tfw my new bf loves j-fash
>he can sew
>wants to cosplay
I feel like I won the lottery. Not only he likes my lolita dresses, but is also interested in cosplay.

I feel sorry for the girl in OP. Seems like he only liked the fashion at the beginning and now that they are crossing the six months line and getting serious-er, he wants to change her.

My boyfriend knows I love dressing in Lolita although I don't too often, he'll actually suggest I wear it. Says things like "I know it may be too hot for Lolita today but can you go without a blouse or sweater over the dress to help cool it down?" Or he suggests I not wear a wig but i've got an under shave and split purple and blue hair so I pretty much need a wig. He doesn't really understand the 'rules' of Lolita so he thinks a tshirt and converse with a skirt is really cute

If you have a problem the way your partner dresses then maybe they're not the one for you.

Clothing is a personal expression which means if your uncomfortable with the way they dress than it isn't going to last.

I understand boyfriends not getting a style, but what I don't like is boyfriends not encouraging a hobby or a project. It's not like her focusing on a fashion and keeping a blog updated is any less productive than say, playing video games. Let her do her thing bro

>>7754142
omg. this.

I've been married for a few years now and the two of us can be pretty unapologetic weaboos, but what's great about that is we can get it out of our systems together and then not be obnoxious around our normal friends. I couldn't imagine dating someone if I would never be able to talk about fashion or anime, or my hobbies that stem from that like drawing, crafting and sewing. Hobbies or not, they still make up a chunk of my identity.

>tfw he encourages me to dress up when we go out
>tfw we're talking Japanese as an elective together next year
>tfw couple cosplay
>tfw this lucky

Trying to change something so strongly established never ends well, unless the other party wanted to change in the first place. I think the reddit OP is going to have to suck it up if he wants to be together, cause whether he succeeds in changing her or not it's not going to end well.

Holy shit. I think this is about my friend. The ages and length of relationship are the same.

Do I tell her? I don't think she goes on /cgl/.

>>7754253
THANK YOU! I fully agree, he never said she should stop dressing like that all together, just tone it down because it makes him uncomfortable to have attention drawn to them. He also mentioned that it seems like her clothes are taking over her life (which when reading what some of you guys do I can totally see it). From what he writes, it sounds like all time and money is spent on clothes, and it may seem unhealthy to him. Sure, you should except your SO for who they are, but being in a relationship means you love them and want whats best for them. If your SO spent tons of time and money on alcohol and getting drunk, wouldn't you be a little concerned? They need to sit down and have a real conversation, and you shouldn't be so quick to demonize the BF without knowing the whole story.

>>7755407
Show her the reddit thread and say you stumbled across it looking for something else?

>>7755407
No. If it isn't about her you could cause a problem between them over nothing. She could resent you afterwards. Besides its none of your buisness.

>>7755407
Honestly, it's probably a really common situation. No need to get worked up over something that MIGHT be about your friend

>>7755422
>>7755424
>>7755427
Here's the thing: I did a little sleuthing, and the string of numbers "563" on the reddit username also shows up on his Twitter and instagram handles that are listed on his FB page. I really think it's him.

But I'm also not very close to this girl. We hang out in group situations but that's about it.

>>7755407

is she a lolita?

>>7755489
Haha what if you called him out on it in the thread instead. Scare the shit outta him

>>7755489
Honestly, it's none of your business. Just leave it alone.

>>7755509
Do this. Seriously.

This thread has me both super worried and relieved.

Relieved because it is really heartening to see so many redditors and seagulls standing behind the girl and her hobbies (I honestly expected major backlash from reddit over her being a princess weirdo). Way to go, really.

Super worried because it seems that this is a common problem, one that guys are not usually direct about? What if my boyfriend secretly feels the same way? I wear lolita all the time too, and he's not lucky enough to be with a toned down goth, classic, or otome. I'm full OTT sweet. I might talk to him about it, or should I just leave it alone? It's been over a year and we live together.

>>7755189
I definitely dress up for myself. I'm into lolita, but even with normalfag clothes I tend to make my outfits more dressy than what people would normally wear. I do my hair, my makeup, and make sure my outfit looks cohesive every day, because I find it fun.

I've never dressed the way I do to attract attention from guys. I just happen to love how my beautiful clothes look, and I love how I look in them.

Maybe some people would interpret what I'm saying as sounding narcissistic, but I don't think so at all. I treat my clothes like a hobby. It's something that I have fun with, and something that makes me feel confident and happy.

>>7754173
your boyfriend sounds super sweet, anon!

>>7755547
You might want to bring it up, but don't worry too much.

Most guys are direct and will tell you if there's a real problem.

If he's let you move in with him, that's a good sign he really likes you.

>>7754210
Nahh. We're odd, so you gotta have the thick skin to look like we do. No worries!

>>7755056
>>7755088
>>7755149

Livin' the dream!
Have a terribly drawn, sickly-sweet picture of our likenesses and love.

>>7754191
>>7755655
> 2 inch gauged ears

Wow that is super shitty
my bf loves lolita and even buys me a piece every now and then
The only thing he hates is RHS and I can understand that theyre not for everyone and do kind of look like shoe bananas
But he doesn't pitch a shitfit or anything he just says "honey those are ugly lol" http://www.google.com/recaptcha/api/image?c=03AHJ_VutpnaOjC8O69IPWq9l-iXbEG9OaetIMO-TK_F3N4AvG8Sz-0jrtC7AJg8P_VxqzQtiB2yWXyLixODowxF_DQEyrdAVTuk767PAxL3f8BEoxZWUki09AsNf9Us19NCv8lqDE3wbSWFb70fTkDm1BEHM55SQb7424Hlu3zIuIcETwKMtqg5SRFbP6mOEiXcvE5B_ZEPPS&th=,8bDBMUwPzOs6YrZ62G3v0uVdl_AAAAA2oAAAAAzYAMutMmj3S7CCPOnT3lCtGWzWYUnp0vwWYGFW4X57jIo2r4woNVsAW09qqmR7b7nleOgmXSzMKE3JPtKxcSYcYOGcTHpBA8LDVCTM1X1amJ3fgTAOeOJuyZnaA0bk33A9d9paJl1fr4zlJarQOOXPUGfju5lQpnsbkGNs7KxMVRgJlpqm4csTGz1ujPtfvI3zqAAw5RAMwrwwHCbiCLq4rcx4CSdJp4LrXcQ8VNfYdb2uGj1fxgQTY6qRXjk2YiyaIwWiG38eluxRfjrTdw

>>7755771
wtf just happened

>>7755489
Please do this >>7755509

I'm not sure if my boy counts as normal, but I think because he has three sisters he's got a general understanding of the concept that people can spend lots of time/money on fashion and shopping as a hobby. Some days I'm sure he doesn't notice what I'm wearing beyond the fact that I have clothes on, and he doesn't really consider me wearing lolita to be dressed up/out of the ordinary unless I've gone super OTT.

>>7755421
Getting drunk all the time is a health concern. Fashion is not.

>>7753990
"I have told her that I love her just the way she is"
The girlfriend probably took it as "I love that you have and express your own style" while he meant "look more natural" aka be more in the norm.

>>7755655
You guys are too cute.

My ex boyfriend didn't mind Lolita at first, then his true colors started shining through halfway into the relationship. He was just too much of a pussy to admit he didn't like being seen with someone who dressed like a doll, hated cute shit and OTT J-fashion in general. Typical normalfag who saw Lolita as pedobait, would suggest more "normal" outfits. Didn't matter whether it was toned down Sweet or Classic, even Otome, he was secretly a cunt towards it all.

This story just brought back some memories. Sounds like this tool will become the same eventually. Hopefully princess girl will leave his ass soon.

>>7754314
Boifurendos, man.

>dress in business casual regularly because of downtown office jerb
>sometimes meet up with bf after work
His day-to-day is graphic tees, cargo shorts, and autism sandals.
>every time: "Wow anon, I always feel like such an underdressed slob when I'm with you..."
>Then dress better
>"But I'm so comfy. Everyone at work dresses like this."

We've already solidly established that I have no intention of dressing down for him, so he either has to step it up or suck it up.

I don't care much either way, but if he keeps complaining about it, I'm going to keep pushing him toward buying man-clothes to fill out his manchild-clothes wardrobe.

>>7756203
My boyfriend is exactly like that. I never bothered him about it and it never really bothered me, but we're long distance right now and he came to New York to visit me and got extremely intimidated by dudes in Midtown that seem to be a level above. NOW he wants to put his look together and stop buying Walmart clothes and Payless shoes

>>7756220
It's nice that he'd like to improve, though.

Mine has been looking to do the same lately, which is sweet.The other day he had a shoe shopping adventure.
I was going to straight up just buy him a pair of grown-up casual shoes (all he owns are running shoes, sandals, and toe shoes), because his current options have been restricting us in terms of where we can go on dates.
On his way home from work one day, he texts me that he'll go buy them himself.
I had my doubts, so I sent pictures of the types of shoes he should look for; standard fare like desert boots and casual oxfords.
I also explicitly told him not to buy square-toed shoes or loafers (which can be really hit-or-miss, and I was skeptical of his judgment).
He starts sending me photos of shoes he's trying on, and I give him feedback. I was out with friends at the time, so I couldn't be on my phone non-stop. I leave it for 10min, check my phone, and see about 5 photos of shoes like pic related. Exactly what I told him to avoid. All the nicer shoes only got the honour of 1 photo each...Guess which he bought?
He had to go back to the store to exchange them. Pretty cute, since it's exactly what I was expecting would happen.
At least he tried!

>>7755775
No idea, but it seems to be happening more often lately. O___O

>>7756268
Those shoes are cute! You should let him wear what he wants, he obviously picked them for his own reasons, just like you wear lolita for yours.

>>7754252
>Shouldn't he be pissed at the assholes taking pictures of his girlfriend behind his back?
This is actually pretty important. My bf gets pretty pissed about that. I mean, he did bring it up first as a "You know people take pictures of you when you're out like that right?". When I said yeah, its kinda rude but its part of the deal, I think he gets it but yeah it still definitely bothers him that random strangers have shots of me on their phones. This dude should definitely be more concerned about that, than that his gf doesn't care about the pictures.

This all just sounds like the attention his gf gets bugs him, and it really deeply bothers him that she's not 'normal'. She obviously has no issues having people take her seriously at work, sounds like no family issues as well, and it sounds more like a communication fail on his end rather than hers about the 'toning it down' thing. She probably thinks she is plenty toned down (I know my normalfag bf can't tell an OTT frilled lacy princess level dress from a slightly fluffy sundress from F21). He either needs to really and fully explain to her what he expects and why her clothes bother him, or he needs to get out for a bit and reevaluate why it bothers him.

>>7755655
Aww thats so cute! You kinda remind me of my bf and me. He's a ponytailed bearded Asian/Arab (he gets a lot of people trying to subtle-ly guess his race) that does weightlifting and usually wearing at least one gun brand logo somewhere. I'm super pale German/Irish and wear super soft lacy shit even when out of lolita (so glad its in style right now) and have the whole pastel hair thing going on. We're more matched size wise though cus we weightlift together, haha. He doesn't criticize my clothes, and I don't criticize the Mauser under our bed.

>>7753990
Hahaha, when I was looking for a bf I would send a snap of myself in lolita at some point before the first date. I only wear it to meets and cons but I had to see the reaction before I'd agree to meet face to face. My ltr bf of 2 years basically said OMG LETS GET MARRIED when I sent him a pic of me in AP

>>7756615
>He either needs to really and fully explain to her what he expects and why
This in particular is very important. You can't tell someone "I love you the way you are" and expect them to understand that you mean "I love you the way you are without all the frills and lace, and make up" if the frills, lace, and make up are part of your regular routine. You can't expect your partner to be a mind reader (from either direction in this kind of situation). If you have something to say, you have to say it to your partner, not to strangers on the internet.

I'm a non-cosplayer that only stops by /cgl/ to bask in the schadenfreude you lunatics generate, but it's hilarious to see a guy upset that their significant other dresses weird. You don't have to be in Seattle anymore to see people expressing themselves by running through a fabric store covered in glue, that shit happens in rural goddamn Texas now. One would think, if you had a lady that dressed up like a pretty princess, you'd just be glad it wasn't a fursuit or some shit and move on.

And yeah you people talking about the dress-down hypocrisy are pretty spot on. If I had ever ended up with one of your lace explosion types I think I'd just take that as free license to dress up like Prince and Doctor Doom had a gaybie. Tell your buddies that care that the girl makes you do it, take advantage of the license to look crazy to scare old people and confuse children. Hours of fun!

>>7756682
>Seattle
>people dressing weird
nigga I was just there, everyone dresses bland as fuck

I got weird looks for wearing those small jewel clip in horn things.

The key is to dress appropriately for the situation which it seems the girl does for the most part.(I think getting dressed in lolita JUST to run simple errands screams "I can't feel secure in my looks or even go out in public unless I wear something super loud/wear lots of make up")

/fit/ normalfag male here

The problem with lolita is that it attracts negative attention. You can look pretty in normal clothes.

>>7756730

nobody asked you tho?

i mean are you counting yourself in that "negative attention"

because you are

also why are /fit/ dudes all the time up in here

you want to fucking cross-dress, don't you

I do agree that the boyfriend should sort out his own insecurities, but I understand why he's uncomfortable.
Feels like it's commonly assumed that people who do dress up out of normal attire and especially OTT outfits do so out of attention because many of them do
it's not hard to associate that behavior to others who do dress in that way

that being said, boyfran gotta either suck it up and get over his issues or break up.
at the very least she probably won't wear as attention garnering clothes when she's in her 40s

My boyfriend is a metalhead with absolutely no dress-sense whatsoever (and I love him for it.) and he loves my lolita. I sew a lot, both for myself and to sell, and he's really supportive. He'll even come fabric shopping and help me design stuff.

Most of our friends are in the metal scene/bands and love it, too. It's nice to be treated like a princess in a world of super slutty metal girls.

>>7756886
I should maybe point out that I live in a city that's full of Japanese and SKorean students and is incredibly laid back about alternative fashion, though. I've never had a negative comment.

>>7755489

Oh man, I really want to see her blog then, if only because I dress "Princess style" (long fairy tale looking dresses, not actual lolita) too and haven't really run into anybody else that does.

>>7753990
I don't see whats wrong with it. Hell, I can't be fucked dressing everyday, plus why the hell would you ruin your clothes for casual bullshit. Must be a bodyline princess. Or maybe she's just outright ita.

>>7756861
That's funny. You girls are always drooling over guys like us.

reminder all your bfs don't give two fucks about your baby dressing game, they just want some puss.

>>7756886
You think people see you as a princess, but in fact they just think you're a womanchild who buys clothes for overgrown toddlers.

Lolita really is the female fedora.

>>7755217
Misguided but sweet, sounds like a good guy.

>>7756892
>not wearing brand even outside of lolita
>not living your life in designer clothes
>pleb

>>7756894
The funny part is that they they actually think they're princesses or some shit like that.

Just like the fedora atheists thinking they're enlightened gentlemen.

My fiance really likes lolita and girly fashions in general, even though he's very much a normie (in regards to looks only). He actively encouraged me to get more into the cute frilly stuff - I liked lolita already when we started dating but he was the one to convince me I wasn't too old/haggard/plump/whatever for the lighter, sweeter outfits. He was right, I actually look better and younger than before and feel happier to boot.

He doesn't mind me dressing up when we go out. I learned to not notice the stares, giggles and pointing (either you do or you quit) but he seems to be constantly amused by people's reactions. Though a tiny girl doesn't get any really negative interactions when accompanied by a 6'4" guy...

What's funny, his parents seem to be enamored with it even more. They call me "doll" and "girlie", my mother in law constantly gushes over everything I wear and all my cutesy hobbies (baking, dolls, sewing etc). Sometimes to the point when it actually becomes creepy, heh. But they're cool weirdos themselves, with dad going everywhere barefoot for the past 20 years (unless the snow reaches above his ankles) and mom being an artsy spiritual vegan.
I guess princessy dresses just don't seem bothersome when you grow up in such enviroment.

>>7755495
She used to wear lolita, because she owns brand, but I've never seen her wear the style. I'm not sure what you would call it. Imagine Fanny Rose crossed with mori girl. She's also not very efamous at all. A few hundred followers on tumblr.

>>7755509
>>7755531
I sent him a PM with a throwaway account. How do you know if someone read a message you sent on Reddit? I'm really tempted to drop a link anonymously in her ask box on tumblr, too.

She is very pretty, and she gets a lot of male attention, especially from the "alternative" guys in our city. I'm betting that's this guy's real problem. I've seen him glare at other guys who are just being nice.

>>7753990
>>7756896
Blogs can turn profitable. BF is jealous because no attention maybe? I hate when my GF tries to stop my legitimate hobbies only because she is jealous. We all need diversion from our loved ones. It's NORMAL

>>7753990
Wow, he sounds like a crybaby. Looks like he can't handle a little attention.

>>7756730
>male here
>male here
>male here
>male here
>consider my opinions pls ;_;

>>7756893

>guys like me
>notice me senpai
>NOTICE ME

>>7757158

Will you please drop a link to her blog?

Hypothetical question: what would be the best way to find a non-normie boyfriend? I don't mean "lolita-tolerant", I mean they also dress up in some way, be it dandy, goth, whatever. I'm tired of being loved "for who I am" for 6 months and then asked to "tone it down" once that timer goes off. You can't tone down taupe, I already have a good career and reputation, I can dress appropriately for situations, I won't bend any further. I can't do this anymore.

>>7757233
Brolitas for obvious reasons.
Weeaboos because they don't mind standing out.

>>7757233
Guys who work at Ren Faires.

>>7756730
to someone who is jealous and insecure, any attention I received from anyone anyone else was "negative attention." That's how you sound right now.

Everyone can look pretty in normal clothes, no exceptions. The point is that they choose to wear something they like better, and it's not up to you to dictate that.

Do you like normal clothes? That's great! Everyone has preferences and that's normal. Date girls who wear normal clothes, don't date a lolita and then expect her to abandon her style for your insecure ass.

This is a general statement, not a personal attack at you, but since you brought it up, well.

>>7757151
You and your fiance sound adorable (and your future in-laws are a riot on their own lol). My hubby is the same height and he's like my rude people repellent. I've only ever had positive reactions when we're out together.

>>7757247
You girls really don't realize how stupid lolita looks.

It's hopeless.

>>7757259
Though you and your peers may think it looks stupid, I get a lot of compliments and questions when I go out in it. There are plenty of people who probably think what you wear looks stupid, too. But you dun curr. Same here. We dun curr.

>>7757259
>your opinion

>>7757259
Dont' worry anon, I think it looks pretty stupid too.

>>7757267
>>7757277
Seriously, why don't you people grow up? You sound like a children.

For most people lolita is embarassing. Hell even otaku guys have some sense to know that their hobby is embarassing and hide it from society. It's just you special snowflakes who think society has to accept your toddler dresses and that any guy who isn't happy to be seen with you is an asshole.

>>7757281
This is the first time I've ever heard this! Please tell me more.

>>7757281
I really don't give a shit if some dudes don't like the way I dress. They can date normie girls anyway, and both will be happier. I'm a thin girl in CS, I can have a boyfriend whenever I want.

>>7757158
Even if the OP post isn't about your friend, it's probably something similar in this vein.

I dated a guy who got jealous at the drop of a hat, even to the point where he got mad at me for wearing a cross-body/messenger bag because it "showed off my boobs". Never mind the fact that I was wearing a thick sweater with a high neckline and don't have much boob to show off in the first place. Or that, y'know, boobs are boobs and are gonna look like boobs no matter what.

>I have never written the word "boobs" so many times in one thought, god that's such a weird fucking word

Yeah , okay, compromise. I compromised with his jealousy to the point where I stopped talking to people unless he was present. Even when I got all pretty and dressed up he'd go "who are you trying to impress??" you, asshole, I'm trying to impress YOU.

Yes, I am bitter. Bitter that I did my best to accommodate his jealousy, when he'd go and flirt with other girls in front of me ("oh but anon I don't want to give guys the idea that they can flirt with you"), Fuck dating jealous guys.

Fuck people who can't deal with the fact that their S.O. has ideas/opinions/hobbies that they're not super cool with. When you decide to date someone, be prepared to deal with the entire package, that you can't just pick and choose which parts you like. I hope that OP realizes that his gf's clothes make her happy or learns to communicate effectively.

/tangential bitter rant

>>7756861
>why are /fit/ dudes all the time up in here
Well, i've been following 'bitch' threads for a while and for me, this board is the only other board which meets my hatred for fatties as much as /fit/'s. Well done ladies
>you want to fucking cross-dress, don't you
this is like the mildest gay insult I've ever seen directed at /fit/

> tfw lolita with lolita gf

For real, though, it's one thing to compromise, but another to expect your partner just to drop their hobbies because you don't like them, especially when said hobby is harmless.

>>7756686
I wear lolita for errands/daily casual wear because I can't wear it at work, and screw waiting for an "event" to wear it out.

>>7757259
I know how stupid some people think it looks. I don't really care what those people think. Poofy dresses and frills haven't negatively influenced my career, relationships, or caused me any financial hardship. They also filter out the people that are judgemental enough not to befriend someone based on their appearance being outside the norm.

>>7757233
Wish I could help but I have no bloody clue. The closest I ever got was the guy that got me into lolita, but he only really dressed up to accompany me places

>>7757233
Are you in a city? Really, any place with alternative fashion? There are so many fucking cuties in SoHo here, it's ridiculous. I'd say hang around areas that are known for an alt fashion scene or artsy things, but that would be ignorant since NYC spoils me with choices--it's not the same in a lot of states. Online dating also worked wonders for me? It's a good place to find someone who a. has a style you appreciate and would foster b. does the same for you c. you can get to know as a person for a bit before you go out and already know you have a connection with or make those first interactions really fun and exciting.

>>7757299
99% of women can get a bf any time they want. You aren't special.

Just don't fool yourself into thinking that your bf thinks you look cute instead of stupid.

>>7753990
not sure, mixed feelings
her hobby her life her choice but he mostly sounds worried that others won't take her seriously, the main problem is that he doesn't get she already knew that people not taking her serious was going to be an option like much of the rest of us

it's sweet, but in a ignorant way

>>7757259

>>7757233
All the artists and people really into music I've known have been into my fashion in a really positive way. And there's a huge variety of personality types and dress types in those categories. Nerds are also a mixed bag of reaction. Some nerd dudes LOVE the way I dress and want to go out with me because of it, others maybe don't. The latter seem to lean heavy into the "disgruntled IT guy" category, though.

My advice? Get into your hobbies outside lolita hard. In a way that's SOCIAL. Into art? Go to those free events with the free wine. Into music? Get into those organized events/concerts. Nerd shit? Go to those events at your local convention/comic shop/book store, etc. Just enjoy what you like. People who appreciate you will sort of flock if you're having a good time. It's always a gamble, especially since a lot of people will still be into your fashion at first with the intention of "waiting it out" but trial and error is the best way to weed them out

>>7756268
Hey, he's getting there!
>>7756538
I think with dudes learning how to dress right it is an educational process, though. Those shoes, after learning what he COULD have for the same price, might be shoes he doesn't want to wear in a few months. He needs a staple pair that are universally flattering. Like me a few years ago? There are near weeby purchases I made that I would have regretted within like two months. Or, well, unflattering shoes/shoes I couldn't wear with a ton of shit. I'm glad I took a little time to learn about clothes.

I think those that are crying "let these slobby/weeby/nerdy ass bfs wear whatever they want!" in this thread aren't doing those guys any favors. It doesn't make you gay to learn some fashion basics, but it completely changes how you look

>>7757346

> I-if I don't like it, no man does!
> R-right guys? Guys?

>>7757281
There's plenty of normalfag fashion that's embarrassing but accepted.

and I love how the go-to argument always hinges on how it's "toddler clothing." As if OTT sweet was the only style in existence? (not that anything was wrong with it to begin to with).

>>7756103
ugh, sounds JUST like my ex too. He'd always be really passive aggressive about what I wore. I couldn't stand his attitude after a while so I broke up with him, and man that was an amazing decision

>>7756861
>male here
faggot, who asked you

My wife is a hardcore brand whore up in the scene, and I have never felt particularly awkward about her clothing despite the fact that I have no real enthusiasm for it. She looks great in it, and if that jams a motherfucker up, that's his problem.

>>7756905
>>7756894
male here
look at muh opinion, girls!
girls?
girls

notice me...

>>7757281
HAHAHA

just think about it. you don't think we KNOW that people think we dress in "toddler dresses"? You really think we don't know? do you really think that we've never been laughed at or sexually harrassed while dressed up?

yet we still wear them anyway. why?

because we don't give a shit what you think.

there, was that so hard?

but then again, you're some nigger on /cgl/ proclaiming "male here" and enlightening us with your superior male opinion. I can't expect you to be very bright.

>>7757309
I'm guessing by the way you said "dated" you ended up breaking up with that asshole. At least I hope so!

>>7757789
Gee girl, look at that amount of care. Ignoring sure is hard huh? I wonder if you scream I don't care at random people too, to show just how much "you don't care"

>>7757779
Don't be mad that its true men just put up with your shit to get some pussy.

>>7755927
It is if it takes up your whole life and you obsess over it. Obsession is not good. Plus, I read here all the time about people who have to sell dresses to afford rent/bills or can't stop themselves from buying something even though they really don't have the money. That's a compulsion.

>>7757805
Compulsive shopping is a personal problem though, you just hear about it in relation to lolita here because this is the cosplay and lolita board. That shouldn't reflect on the fashion itself, it should reflect on the person. You totally be dedicated without overspending or obsessing or w/e. Aside from spending couple hours a day on her blog, it doesn't sound like the girl in question has a spending problem so that's irrelevant anyway.

As for selling dresses to afford rent, shit happens. I bought a dream dress because I had the funds and it popped up and then the week after my parents kicked me out of the house. I was fortunate enough that I didn't need to sell it, but when you're in a pinch, it's an easy and fast source of money, especially if it's a coveted piece. That's why you hear it a lot.

My husband is very much a normie, though since getting together we've expanded each others' horizons quite a bit. He's expressed liking a few anime series he's watched with me and his interests and hobbies have grown on me a bit as well. He's become a little more open to lolita than he was and thinks the more toned down classic pieces that could pass as a poofy sundress are nice. He does, however, think sweet looks ridiculous and he isn't the biggest fan of the "investment" aspect.

Regardless he understands it makes me happy and therefore keeps his mouth pretty much shut about the cost as long as I okay bigger purchases with him beforehand (I don't buy dresses too terribly often though so it's not as big of a deal when I want to spend the money).

>>7757346
>so much fedora
>gtfb to Red Pill, you bitter foreveralone

>>7756886
My boyfriend is also a metalhead. He enjoys pointing out Asians or poofy dresses and saying, "Ah- look there's a lolita~" or "I bet you want that dress!"

He doesn't understand it, and I know he hates OTT sweet, but he knows I love the fashion and respects that. He's even offered to buy me a lolita item for my birthday. As long as I'm not running myself into the ground he's fine with it.

>super slutty metal girls
None of the metal girls I know are slutty in the slightest. Actually, they all look badass and gorgeous.

>>7757947
Womanchild

>>7757299
You can get the virgin nerds for boyfriends, but the alpha male you love only wants you for a one night stand.

>>7758177
>thinks girls want an alpha instead of a loyal dog who will cater to your every whim that you can tailor to your sexual needs

>>7758179
Is that what fat girls tell themselves?

You should come to /fit/ sometime.

>>7758180
>thinks on fat girls think like this
>doesn't know that fit girls like cherryboys

>>7757956
Heheh. We know very different metal girls, then! It's not uncommon to see halloween costumes as nightly wear, toilet-seat cocaine use is a fun pasttime and there are several girls (regulars) competing to see who can sleep with the most band members in a week.

>>7756538
No, girl. Those shoes are not cute. They're either a middle-aged man's idea of comfort shoes, or a neckbeard's idea of "classy but casual".
He picked them out of a lack of understanding/interest in style in general - he knows it's something he has little experience with, which is why he asked for my advice to begin with. If he wants to try, I'll do my best to encourage him to go for simple, classic pieces that don't look lame as fuck.
Dad-shoes and lolita are not equivalents in the discussion of fashion choice in my mind. I really can't call myself lolita at this point in my life anyway - I'm an office lady with an otome streak hehehe

>>7756730
>on other 4chan boards, someone stating that they're a woman is considered attention whoring and is met with negative replies
>on /cgl/, someone stating that they're a man is considered attention whoring and is met with negative replies

That cracks me up for some reason. Well, at least you people are consistent.

>>7758197
This is primarily a female board and the whole site knows it. Otherwise no one would say "as a man blah blah blah"

>>7756886
>It's nice to be treated like a princess in a world of super slutty metal girls.
wow you must be PRETTY SPECIAL HUH ANON
youre not like those OTHER GIRLS

>>7758187
That shit wouldn't roll in the crowd I know, most likely. I think one or two of them snort, but most have done their stint on the streets and have given up on that shit a long time ago. Most of the girls look model-tier and the prettiest one has a shaved head and is dating a lead singer of a local band. Most of the bands worth seeing here are lead by surly men or guys who are in committed relationships with really intelligent girls. Everyone kinda respects that. The crowds we know may be different because they also intermingle with whatever punk scene is still alive within the area. It could also be because there's no Hot Topic within the vicinity either.

Sage for being off-topic.

>>7758175
Oh, god, I'm so hurt.

>>7757233
I don't know where to find guys that actually wear alt fashion except at your local designated hang outs for such types.
I go for guys with nerdy hobbies, Cosplay, TCGs, gunpla, etc. More of them, even if they dress normalfag, are completely okay with lolita and like it compared to actual normalfags.

>>7758177
The only people who think the alpha-beta dichotomy is real are insecure nerds. And of all girls are the ones that care the least about alphaness.

>>7757395
>I think those that are crying "let these slobby/weeby/nerdy ass bfs wear whatever they want!" in this thread aren't doing those guys any favors.

Sounding kinda like the reddit guy in the OP...

>>7758564
Except I'm not trying to pretend I "love them as they are".
My boyfriend doesn't mind me influencing what he wears as long as it stays comfortable and practical, and as long as it doesn't involve shopping for more than an hour at a time

>>7758564
>>7758580
While I'm basically okay with what my boyfriend wears most of the time as long as it's not torn/ratty/whatever, how do you impress on them that they have to dress up to formal occasions like a wedding and such?? ?He refuses to get a suit (because he has dress shirts and a vest), drives me nuts

>>7753990
I never understand guys like this

>>7757801
>completely missing the point
>ad hominem attack because everything I said flew over your head

dude nice

>>7757804
Gosh, someone's bitter.

>>7758599
For a wedding, it's all about being respectful to the people that are getting married. If the dress code implies men wear a suit, then it's rude not to wear one. I can understand not wanting to buy one if you aren't going to lots of formal events, but surely you could hire one....