/cgl/ - Cosplay & EGL

Good feels. I've had good luck selling my clothes that I don't wear anymore. My closet is cleaner and I have some extra cash to spend on new releases and other items on auction.

I'm taking steps to having a closet full of dresses I love instead of fillers/cheap things.

I've also been reluctant to go to local meets but I think I might take the first step and get to know the local comm.

That feeling when no cutie pie cosplay girlfriend.

>be not the typical bodytype for salopettes
>buy salopette that runs a little long
>try it on
>show loli friends
>so cuuuuuute
>show boyfriend
>comeheregirl.jpg

Yes! Best of both worlds!

>finally get my own sewing machine
>slowly learning how to sew, making my own pieces for cosplay instead of just buying them
>feels great man

My boyfriend is mad at me because I told him to stop treating me to food so often.
(I would prefer homemade food or something cheaper).

Is it so wrong that I would rather spend $5 on homemade food + $5 on taobao socks, than $10 on bought food?

I just... don't understand. I'mg trying to explain to him but he yells at me and tells me I'm too materialistic and that I'd rather have my "cute socks" than eat, and that I might as well buy cute taobao stuff and never eat and die.

He's being really bitter and spiteful.

>>7480592
Can you cook? What kind of food do you go out to eat?

>>7480596
He can cook, I can too a bit.
He takes me to variety of places, sometimes legit restaurants like swiss chalet or montanas, sometimes takeout and fastfood.

>>7480565
That feel when no idea how to approach qt3.14 cosplay clubmate, to turn her into qt3.14 cosplay girlfriend.

I don't want to end up as just friends, yo.

>>7480598
Tell him he'll die fat and you'll dance on his grave in cute socks!

Seriously, sounds like he's just lazy! He'd rather toss 10$ at you than actually take the time make you something you'll enjoy. Maybe framing it as being unhealthy and wasteful will help him understand.

>>7480592
What do you ever do for him?

>>7480608
Find out if she's even interested. If she isn't, accept it.

>>7480592
>I told him to stop treating me to food
>boyfriend pays for food
>Is it so wrong that I would rather spend $5 on this rather than that
>of boyfriend's money

It's really his choice what he treats you to. Try talking with him rather than telling him what to do, and saving your own money for home cooked food and taobao socks, maybe even cook something or buy something for him.

>>7480592
I'm confused, so he's spending his money to buy food for you and you're complaining he won't spend it frugally so you can buy socks? What? I understand wanting to save money but nitpicking a gift is rude

>>7480592
He's treating you. Don't be an ungrateful brat. Save your own money for those socks. He's understandably upset. If you really prefer homemade food, then talk to him about eating at home more often.

>>7480629
>>7480633
>>7480641
I get that he can do what he wants with his money and that it's nice being treated, but it's the fact that he does it SO often.
The socks is more of an example than an actual concern.

He doesn't even have a job right now.
He doesn't come from a well-off family, and he's living off government grants because he's in college.

I just would rather he make more food than treat me to expensive food, so he can save up for other things, you know?

I hope I'm explaining myself more clearly...

>>7480651
Then fucking talk to him. Jfc. "Hey bf, I think it's great that you treat me often. I think we should really save up for our future. Can we eat out less and cook at home? It's healthy and I really like the meals you cook."

>>7480658
I did. And he got mad at me.
He's being unreasonable, spiteful, and bitter, like I said in my first post.

>>7480651
I wouldn't even mention things you'd rather have (I get where you arecoming from tho, things that last longer rather than food you could enjoy for cheaper/healthier if you cooked it) and just offer to go shopping with him for ingredients and start cooking with him and helping him spend less. Lead by example and be as selfless as possible when trying to help someone change something, especially when you are being treated. I can understand why he'd be upset, but you guys can probably talk it out and come to a compromise.

>>7480651
don't listen to this shit
>he got you something you don't want and didn't ask for! How DARE you discuss finances and basic needs as if you have any input!

If it's something that affects your day-to-day life like food, you get a say. That's how an adult relationship fucking works.
Honestly I would just buy some groceries and then when it's "time to go to subway for dinner!" say "no we have food here"

>>7480661
If he feels like you're attacking him, he's going to react negatively. Wait for abtinebwhen he's calm and focus on the positive aspects of saving money by cutting things out. Don't ever bring up the socks or whatever.

If he's still unreasonable to talk to, it's probably time for you to move on.

>>7480664
>>7480673
>>7480674
Thanks guys, I'll try.
We don't live together though so I'm not sure how to get him to buy more groceries, but I'll figure something out.
I think my problem was bringing up the freaking socks as an example (ugh, regretting this now). I just wanted to explain that he could be buying other things instead, but I guess it was a bad move.

>tfw e-mail an anon
>she replies the next day
>take an hour to get back to her
>still no reply
To be fair, I was warned that she doesn't check her e-mail often, but I'm just sitting here eagerly waiting for a reply.

It counts as a /cgl/ feel since that's where the feel began.
Also:
>tfw no girlfriend to make you cosplay

>finally get friend into lolita
>help her with her first couple coords
>she looks good!
>shes getting the hang of it!
>sh-shes getting really good
>comes from a well off family, could easily afford brand
>she will always get more attention because she wears OTT sweet and I wear classic

I've always felt competitive with her. I feel like such a shitty person.

>>7480681
oh, maybe just have him over to yours and have food there? I did have a guy I hung around that ALWAYS wanted to go for burger king or whatever the fuck, which I didn't like and couldn't afford. I took to asking him to stop by the supermarket on the way home, we'd just pick up some fresh pasta and a baguette even and prepare food together. It could work if you go together!

Just ordered a few things in the ebay thread and got the confirmation email. Turns out I went full retard and accidentally listed my old dorm at a military base in arizona as my location.
I just sent an email asking them to please send the items to my current residence, and gave them the address, or to just cancel the order.
Really hoping they actually read the email.
I'd rather my old command doesn't get a package with my name on it and end up calling it at mail call, a few of them are on my fb and I'd never hear the end of it.
I'm just imagining them opening it and seeing kawaii/weeb shit.
>mfw

>>7480623
>Find out if she's even interested
Honestly, being friends with her would be awesome. I could finally get back into doing group cosplays and going to cons with other people again, with her as a friend. So I take back what I said before.

But how do I find out if she's interested without being too blunt and making things awkward?

>>7480706
ahahahahaha
I hope you get that sorted out anon but that's pretty funny! What did you buy?

>>7480709
At some point you just have to take a plunge, there's really no way to explicitly ask about that without introducing a little awkwardness if she says no. Like "hey you wanna get dinner sometime" just something casual that's usually understood to mean romantic interest.
If you have mutual female friends you can always ask them to check if she'd be interested, which is fair. But other than that you just have to ask. If she's cool, then even if she's not interested it's totally possible to just stay normal friends. If you guys aren't very close/friendly right now, have more conversations before you ask her out...could also help you figure out if she likes you...

>>7480712
A couple tulle skirts, a new vita charge cable, some little household rilakkuma things, and a little 5 figure vocaloid set.

I know at least 2 people from the old command are still there, plus all the old teachers. God I can just hear them now.
"Anon....anon? Didn't anon leave last year? What the hell is anon's mail doing here? I'ma call her ass." Cue a phone call and fb trolling.

>>7480715
Thanks for the advice, from a socially inept aspie, anon.
I've only talked to her a couple times, but she seems to like me. Just not sure if she *like*-likes me. Guess I should give it some more time.
Still, either way things turn out, I come out pretty good:
>TFW I get a cosplaying, conning friend
>TFW I get a cosplaying, conning girlfriend

>people I commissioned e-mails me back with photos
>inaccuracies galore
>fortunately can be fixable
>tfw I'm thinking of bailing and just getting a premade
>

tfw no irl friends to talk about jfashion and anime that arent flaming weeaboos or really religious christian[ it matters b/c they judge so fucking hard man]

>>7480736
Yeah it's important that she knows though that you are happy just being friends with her too though and that you actually mean it. It's really annoying and disheartening when you hang out with a guy and then you find out that all he wanted was just to date you. Because then it makes you question if he was really even interested in being friends with you from the start and was actually enjoying hanging out with you or if he was just enduring you so he would have a shot at getting in your pants.

I hope that makes sense!

>>7480753
I feel, anon. I have one or two friends I know irl that are into anime/cosplay, but they live so far away from me. Honestly, I wouldn't even mind online friends to talk to. I'm just so lonely, but I'm too shy/antisocial to do anything about it, regardless it be online or in real life. Feels bad.

Feeling pretty lonely since I distanced myself from the bad influences in my life. I feel like I've thrown away the last few years of my life trying to take care of people that don't even really care about me, just what I would do for them.
At least now I can focus on fixing my mistakes and I'm down 20 lbs so I can look forward to fitting in my burando again.

>>7480753
>>7480766
Feeling both of your feels right now.

And on top of that
>tfw need to study
>tfw grade depends on next exam this week

Well, back to studying and being ronery, I guess.

>>7480753
>>7480766
yeah i feel you guys
I have some vague online friends who have cons in common with me but they're into Superwholock, not weebery + comics, so we don't really do the same things there...my only irl friend who likes nerd stuff never can make it to any con. I used to not have trouble finding people to hang out with at cons but I've just been rly antisocial and depressed lately, I'm continuing my hobbies without actually talking to ppl about them and it just feels like I'm going through the motions and not really experiencing or enjoying it.

>>7480765
Like someone being friends with you just because they want a cookie from you, instead of wanting to genuinely spend time with you? Hah, I got that.

>>7480791
I just realized I'm a Patrick, thanks.
I'm going to go crawl under a rock and veg out

>came to cgl because of interest in j/kfashion and beauty, and because the other boards became boring for me
>wasn't into lolita but it's slowly begun to grow on me
>recently started looking at some classic co-ords on tumblr (Fanny Rosie & Rocaille) and was really admiring how pretty they are
>remind myself of how expensive it is and how I should probably avoid getting into it
>but then read stories of lolis having tea parties, getting drunk and going to karaoke bars with their comm
>tfw not in school and want some girlfriends to have fun with

I don't know what else to add, except /r/ing some information on Western Canada comms, specifically Edmonton

>>7480791
Yeah basically. I experienced it my freshman year of college when this guy hung out with me during orientation and we texted a few times during the summer and I knew he had a girlfriend so I was confident that he just wanted to be friends. Then during the first couple weeks of college he wanted to "hang out" and when we were hanging out I mentioned how I was dating this girl back in georgia and how she was going to visit soon. He asked me if I was bisexual or a lesbian and when I answered lesbian he looked disappointed.

>mfw he never answers any of my texts after that asking if he wants to hang out

>>7480788
>>7480766
it'll be okay maybe this week ya'll can find a friend with similar interests

>>7480776
anon are you me? same here

Bad experiences in a lolita community just left a bitter taste in my mouth. I'm going rogue. I just wish there was someone to be my Ichigo so I don't feel stupid in frills by myself.

>>7480585
Congrats. That's a damn good feeling. I'm still learning new sewing techniques myself. Keep up the awesome work

>>7480592
Here's what you do. Buy your own food and save money-- your own money. Let him be a wasteful fat ass

>>7480585
It really does feel good man. I recently finished a cosplay almost entirely by myself and it was pretty well received, but I think even if it wasn't I'd still be pretty proud of myself. Good luck to the both of us!

>>7480585
I feel you anon. Made my first mock-up the past week and I was so happy it didn't come out looking like a horrendous piece of crap. Though usually I bought supplies for my sister in exchange for her making it even though trying to get her to work on even her own stuff was much like pic related. Can't even get her to work on a commission that she's doing for a friend even though she desperately needs the money. So glad I'm finally learning how to do shit myself so I can rely on her less.

I'm planning on going to a cosplay meetup but nobody from my circle of friends will be able to come with me, and I fear having nobody to speak with considering I'm not a cosplayer or a photographer.

This is probably going to go better than I expect, but I still feel bad about it.
Has anyone else had experience as a "bystander" in meetups?

>>7480916
>>7480926
Thank you anons! Best of luck to you too!

>>7480916
>>7480926
>>7480927
Thank you anons! Best of luck to you too!

>>7480933
It's a bit harder to interact when you're not in cosplay, but not impossible. Is there a theme?

>ex comes up on my FB timeline through a friend's post even though I blocked them long ago

>>7480944
There is no theme for the meetup, although a few people want to do a fun group activity" - "Involving all visitors, cosplayers and photographers as one".

The best course would probably be to stay in the background with the photographers, and try to spot familiar faces of people I've talked to in conventions - otherwise, when there's a conversation about the show rather than the cosplay, say something short then stay silent for a few minutes.

>tfw you desperately miss wearing lolita but have no time/money/place to go out in it lately

I'm so tired from work all the time and am pennypinching these days due to a loss of income, I just want to wear my lovely dresses that have been sitting in my wardrobe for months since I got them...

>>7480957
I hate when that shit happens.
On a similar note:
>make a new friend in person
>everything's great
>add them to FB
>find out they're a mutual friend of someone you don't like
>see that person post on their posts all the time
>things get awkward
.damn it

I dropped out of college due to depression and anxiety that hasn't been responding to treatment. I've halfway gotten help. I have some medication that works better than my last attempts.
I realized I can't afford lolita and cosplay off of the remnants of an old minimum wage job (which i had to leave for the same reasons). So I'm going back to school. Tomorrow.

I'm terrified. I think I have a better hold of myself now, but I can only see the past nights of half-sized essays, panic attacks, procrastination, and failed grades.

Not to mention I just moved to a new town and a new college. My concern is less that I don't know people, it's that I don't know the culture here. My last town and college was really laid back and had a huge Asian population. My jfashion was certainly not out of place. I didn't feel weird wearing weird clothing.
I knew what people expected. I knew the protocol for how you walk on the streets. Is it a dirty sin here if you make eye contact? Are these the 'say hello to all strangers' types? Is it safer to dress up or to dress down? I'm going to have to learn these things.

I feel like a stupid grade schooler since a huge concern for me is what I should wear for the first day of school. I want to make a good impression. I want to make friends. I don't want people to think I'm a shlub for being too casual or to think that I'm a priss for being too fancy.

I wear a lot of fairy kei, but I think I should style something more casual gal or not-quite mori. I'm sure as hell not wearing any lolita tomorrow.

I just want to stop being such a fuck up and to stop being so lonely.

>>7480997
Person you replied to here, that happened to me too. IT'S SO BAD holy shit.
>See pics of people you hate hanging with your own friends
Fucking kill me

I really love anime conventions, cosplay and the culture in general, but I'm getting more and more depressed when I go to them.

They always make me realize how different I am from other people. I always go alone and I can never make a friend with anybody.

Hell even when I was 4 and started going to school I felt out of place, I've been like this my whole life. When I became a teenager and kids started dating I always thought I just needed a couple more years to be able to be like them, but it never happened. When people asked me out I'd have a panic attack, I guess I started to shut people off so much that now that I'm older they just ignore me. Now I don't think someone would be ok with a 20 something who has less experience than your average 11 year old, meaning zero experience.

Another problem is that this is killing my drive to do anything, I just think "why should I bother working hard when I'll just be a crazy depressed loner anyway?"

Maybe I should accept that I have some serious mental illness and give up on things like having a family or being happy.

>>7480996
I know the feeling anon. In a similar situation. My work schedule keeps me from attending a lot of recent meetups. Also with a baby on the way, I don't fit my stuff and my money is going towards the bills and baby. I'm hoping after the baby's born I'll have a chance to go to meetups again and have my husband watch the baby(because even mom needs a day where she's not forced to be mom, ya know?)

>>7480999
hey anon I know you situation and it's pretty scary
but dont worry (hard I know)!
if youre not too scared try juat walking roubd quiet oarta of where you live and people watch, see what people wear and how they act of that's important!
as for college you're brave for going back so im proud of you anon! pls dont panic about it though school is less important thab anyone at school makes out, make sure your college knows about yoir depression and try looking into cbt or other types of therapy!
I believe in you anon ?

>>7480592
I'd be a bitter asshole too if my girlfriend told me what to do with my money and that I should be buying her socks instead of food. He probably thinks you're weird as shit for that.

>>7480813

I'm not in the Edmonton comm but I know one of the girls who runs it and it seems like a very nice group!

>>7481091
We could be friends anon.

>>7480999

All you can do is promise yourself that you'll do your best. If it helps, maybe try making to-do lists, even small ones every couple of hours, just to keep yourself on track. I dropped out of school for the same reasons, and I ended up forcing myself through a job for three years before I felt ready to go back to school - and it really just comes down to forcing yourself to do the work, you have to look at your mental state, accept it, and then push through it. Don't use it as an excuse or a crutch.

As for dressing up, I agree with >>7481193, maybe take a day to explore and people-watch, figure out what the culture is like.

>>7481091
I had a lot of those same feelings: like I didn't belong. I also, for the longest, stopped feeling like I belonged at conventions, too. They were great when I started going 7 years ago, but close to when I graduated college, I started feeling like I didn't have a place at them, either. (Doesn't help that I don't cosplay, which is what con culture seems to revolve very heavily around now.)

I honestly wish I had some sort of plot-twist up my sleeve, like how I managed to turn everything around about my life that I'm dissatisfied with, but I don't.

All I've got it is that life somehow got easier when I just accepted how much my life sucks and that things will probably never improve; it was kind of like "Well, I'm already at the bottom, so it's not like failing at something else will set me back that much."

I'm still reluctant about taking some (read: most) risks, but I'm at least inching towards doing something with myself; instead of just awkwardly hanging around at cons, I usually sign up to do panels. It hasn't been some cure-all to all my problems, but it's sort of made me feel like I have some agency in my own life again.

So, I guess what I can say to you, Anon, is this: besides time (which you'll lose even if you do nothing), what do you really have to lose by trying?

>>7481249
How about signing up to be a part of con staff?

>starting to get early pre-period cramping
>con is this weekend
>one of my outfits is a pure white dress
>since getting an IUD my bleeding is unreal

>bf and I decide to go to con
>want to cosplay a particular character
>bf going as character from another anime
>decide what the hell, I'll cosplay from that anime too
>cosplay not available to buy premade
>no sewing ability
>~cue months of CosplayFu shenanigans~
>their e-mail system is broken
>might not even get it on time because they have to fix their fuck-ups
>not sure if it will even be wear-able
>buy every piece of my initial cosplay idea in an hour

Just a little sad that I'll only be coupling with my boyfriend a bit of the time (or not at all), but at least I won't look like a mess. CosplayFu, never again.

>>7480608
How you approach her is important, but it isn't a make-or-break thing. You approaching her "perfectly" won't make her want your dick. Depends on what you do when you're getting to know her. And following a guide is just going to make it bad when you're together and she realizes you aren't who she thought you were.

>tl;dr: Just do you, and if she bites, it's good. As long as you're not an autist, she'll be receptive. And if you are, you need to learn how to "act normal" before you ask out a girl anyway.

>>7481529
Someone. Please. Tell me where this gif is from. I need it.

Also, the one where the guy is talking about "blood orange". I'm pretty sure it's Project Runway, but I have no idea the season.

Sage for off topic.

>>7481193
sorry for all the typos
*round a quiet area

>friend bought circle lenses without seeing an optometrist
>refuses to go and insists on wearing them every few days
>even after I've told her horror stories
>even when they leave her eyes red and hurting
>"that's gross don't scare me!"
>"that won't happen to me, anon!"
>no idea if she's taking proper care of them at least but probably not
>akdghkahgdkashfdkh

>>7481736
>even when they leave her eyes red and hurting

She needs to stop wearing them yesterday.
It's already happening to her.
She's a fucking idiot for messing around with her vision.
For someone like that I doubt she's changing the solution every night, washing her hands before she puts them in, etc.

Yes I am salty/sandy/whatever but goddamn what I would give to be able to see WITHOUT my lenses, and then to hear about people like this who just don't care about their vision and ugh
>mfw

>>7481749
No, I totally understand. I don't wear contacts for anything but cosplay a handful of times each, but it's driving me insane seeing her posting tons of pictures of herself in circle lenses every few days and knowing how careless she's probably being about it. I don't want to mother her or anything, but I definitely don't want her to fucking go blind just because she's being stubborn, and it pisses me off so much that she just gives me flippant responses to my concerns.

>>7481762
*each year

>>7481736
It's okay, when she fucks up her eyes. Laugh at her

>>7481762
There's only so much you can do. Are you both adults? Alright then. Leave her be

>>7481736
Eyes red and hurting is not normal with lenses. Something is already wrong. I'd be getting after her too.

>>7481529
Just wear overnight pads + your normal tampons.

Overnight pads will feel like you're wearing a diaper, but if it won't show through your costume, they'll keep you from getting ANY leaks. Change tampon every 2-4 hours if you bleed that heavily. Change pad every 4-8 hours. Make sure you keep the white dress far away from you when using the bathroom, even if it means taking it off and hanging it in the stall.

>>7481553
I only ever had good experiences with them, even when I ordered a custom cosplay.

Only issue I had was that they didn't wash the fabric, so some of the dye rubbed off on my skin throughout the day, but that washed off when I took a shower.

Everything was accurate and fit perfectly.

>tfw so much motivation and excitement about cosplay but 0 time to work on it

>>7481736
okay, this has actually happened to me.

If here eyes have a thin red line around where the circle ends, that could be very very problematic. I can not stress this enough. I ignored mine thinking it was just lack of air-flow to my eyes or something.

Two days later I woke up and my eyes were in horrid pain. I couldnt open them all the way because any type of light would hurt. I went to see my optometrist, she said I had scratched something and needed to see a specialist immediately.

After seeing the specialist I had to put in a special eye drop every single hour, for the next 4 days. I couldn't sleep because I had to wake up every hour. I also had to wear sunglasses indoors at all times for those four days, so you can just imagine how douchey I looked in school.

I was lucky though, my specialist said that if I had continued wearing them I could have gone blind.

>tl;dr contacts are not for fucking around

>>7480695

>she will always get more attention because she wears OTT sweet and I wear classic

Just getting attention is not the reason you wear a great coord, I hope.
Not to mention I have to disagree. I, as an example, do not really like or care for OTT sweet and would give your nice Classic outfit much more attention. Sure, maybe more people will look at her because her outfit is OTT, but that does not mean it makes it any better or yours any less awesome. People have different tasted, anon.

>I've always felt competitive with her. I feel like such a shitty person.

I think we all have that one friend who we feel competitive with because we think they are better, more beautiful, intelligent, whatever.

Not sure how your friend is; I do have such a friend I envy because she is everything I am not: Thin, fragile, long legs, blond hair, clear skin, nice smile, good with boys, $250 pocket money...I realised eventually we not really "competing" as we are completly different persons in terms of appaereance and character. I know it sounds so overused, but try to let go of that envy as best as you can. It will only hurt you, speaking from experience here.

You are not a shitty person, Anon, your feelings are comprehensible; I know it as I experience(d) them myself. Just try not to get overhelmed by them and feeling bad about yourself, because I am sure you are great as you are!

>>7481806
I've ordered from them before, 2 or 3 years ago. It was alright-- the fit was a little big but I was a newbie at measuring myself (and I'm quite petite) so I prepared myself for that. So I figured that I could trust them with this commission.

For years I've been trying to lose weight but I can never end up losing more then a few kg before falling back to my old habits, and I hate myself for it so much.
It makes me feel like shit and I don't buy clothes unless I really need something new because I don't feel worth of having nice clothes if I'm this fat and gross.

it feels like I'll never be able to cosplay and wear cute jfashion at this rate...

>>7481870
>For years I've been trying to lose weight but I can never end up losing more then a few kg before falling back to my old habits, and I hate myself for it so much.

Are you me anon?! Same here. Those 20 pounds I wanted to lose since... always?
I feel bad about it too, it should not be such a big deal, I just do not have any motivation.

>It makes me feel like shit and I don't buy clothes unless I really need something new because I don't feel worth of having nice clothes if I'm this fat and gross.
>it feels like I'll never be able to cosplay and wear cute jfashion at this rate...


Been there too. Here is an easy solution: Screw that bullshit, wear whatever you want. Find out what you like, search for clothes online, find out what flatters you, experiment with clothes.. Seriously, it is that easy (in concept, anyway). After years and years of self hate I realised how stupid I was and that not granting myself to wear cute clothes was only making me feel more bad about myself. So slowly, I allowed myself to actually wear the 3 cute dresses that had been hanging in my closet for years, nd now I finally started building a Lolita wardrobe!

It will not happen over one night, but try to change things slowly! It might tke some time. There will be good and bad days, do not give up Anon!
(And maybe once we are there, we will finally be able to lose those last few pounds, haha!)

>>7481902
unfortunaly I'm quite a big (stress eating in high school made me gain without realizing before it was too late) than that and also pretty tall (like, 6 ft tall), so it's not really an option to just buy because there's no way I'd fit in lolita dresses without being at least near skinny.
Thank you for the uplifting talk though!

I want to approach girls at cons but Im terrified they will automatically think Im one of those con creeps and just blow me off...

>mfw

>>7481902
>>7481925
The thing with losing weight and keeping it off is about making the long term changes that you can stick to. The trouble is that most people who want to lose weight want it "by summer" or within weeks and forget that they've been building a lifetime of habits that makes them the weight they are, so they make big drastic changes that often they can't stick to long term. Start small and build the changes over time rather than trying to overhaul everything all at once, and do one change to diet and one change to activity level for 3 weeks to see if it's actually compatible with you. So for some people that's cutting out soda and doing a ten minute YouTube workout each night as opposed to going straight to 1200 calories/no carbs and cardio/weights for an hour each day.

>>7481945
If you're respectful of boundaries and don't hit on every fucking girl you see, you'll probably be fine.

I'm too small for a lot of the things I want to wear.

I also can never find rings that actually fit my hands unless they're from a children's section.

Putting on weight isn't an option yet all the landwhales here demand that it'd be "easier" for me than it is for them to lose weight if I want to fit the clothes I want.
Either that or just "alter your brand" - The resale value would probably be less than if I inflated the things because of how few people it'd be able to fit.

>>7481956
thank you kind anon for the tips

>>7481503
I've done a little bit of that, too, but I prefer presenting panels if I can. (Most of the cons I go to are small enough you don't need fame to become a panelist.)

I do that partly because a lot of the panels I've been to before kind of sucked; like the person just decided to get a bunch of narutards together and just stand around awkwardly until something interesting happens. Or they'll present a panel on a grossly off-topic subject. (My Little Pony or Homestuck at an anime convention.)

The other part of the reason, though, is because I've actually been praised a few times for the panels I've done. One time, I got invited out to another convention after one of my panels. Another time, after a Touhou panel, an old man that was there with his granddaughter said he really enjoyed my panel, since what she was into made more sense to him.

It's not stuff that's turned my life around completely, but makes me feel like maybe there's hope for me after all.

met up with a friend at a con and hung out with them along with others a few times.
friends who we originally went with got really angry and want to break off hotel plans for another con. sigh

>>7481959
Are you me?
I'm actually a bit skinnyfat so I'm working on losing weight/gaining muscle-- which means things will get even bigger on me.

>tops make my torso look long
>short skirts go to the knee
>'petite' sizing assumes I'm a short fat woman
>tfw unless I dish out cash for actual petite brands I will forever swim in my clothes
>mfw people complain about asian sizing yet I revel in them

>>7481981
>I'm a skinny bitch blah blah blah
Petite has to do with bone structure , and very few non asians can fit Asian clothing well

>>7481998
I have a petite bone structure, anon. I'm Asian.

>>7482022
not that anon, but I think they understood that you were at least petite like that and that it's hard to find because, unless you're a petite structured asian (like you are), there's no real big demand for small clothes like that.

>>7482030
Well, then I don't understand.. Isn't that that what I said?

>>7482030
>hispanic
Uh...I...really love asian sizing

>>7482054
>white
I also love asian sizing.

I even have long ass arms and I can find long sleeves that fit from asian shops.

>>7481091
Dear you shouldn't feel bad for being inexperienced. There's no problem with girls who are virgins, you can find countless men who'd be happy with a virgin.

It's male virgins people dislike.

>>7482148
In Japan if you are a virgin past age 15 you are considered a degenerate.

>>7482070
>>7482054
>white
>too small for most fatass Murikan sizing
>too broad-shouldered for most asian blouses, too tall for cute asian skirts

>>7482168
For both male and females? How would they even know? That's so weird

I feel like I'm losing friends or just being disconnected from my cosplay friends . I don't know if I'm not growing quick enough or at all

>>7482248
Or maybe I'm just falling into depression or some shit

>>7482180
>too small for most fatass Murikan sizing
>too broad-shouldered for most asian blouses
I have these feels, except
>Asian
>don't fit Asian body standards

>>7482168

HAHAHA

Not sure if troll but the idea all Japanese 15 year olds are getting laid is fucking hilarious.

>>7480559
>tfw no support group for weight loss
>desperately need support group
Talking with the boyfriend tonight. He really needs to step up his game; he doesnt understand what kind of support I need to be successful.

>tfw got one of my favorite dresses ever in the mail and it's gorgeous in person
Figured a good and bad feel to balance out some.

>tfw no cute boyfriend to cosplay with
i cri evrytime

>>7480765
>just enduring you so he would have a shot at getting in your pants
>>7481607
>won't make her want your dick

I feel like you're assuming all I'm after is some pussy instead of her companionship and love.
Then again, when you're used to dealing with shallow jerks like >>7480827, I can get where you're coming from.

>>7482168
Pretty sure people are too busy studying to get into college at that age

>>7482299
>tfw no qt gf to cosplay with

Life is tough.

>sister recently got into diy antiques
>loves to make things look old now
>starts painting our fucking furniture to look ~antique~
>mfw when a bunch of our shit looks like it's been on fire

>>7482389
Fake burning ruined it. Only real burning can purify it.

>mfw Maki sees my coord from across the room and finds it creative and kawaii
>mfw I get closer and begin to tower over her
>mfw she is horrified by the alterations required to hide the meat thighs of this small giraffe in AP

Hopefully people just appreciate that I work to make things fit me in a flattering way, rather than looking like I robbed a small child. "omg, you had to add how many inches to your jsk straps?" "That bodice looks too long, is it a replica?"

That feel when you filed your income tax really late and your money isn't in the bank yet and Innocent World Oddment Packs are going to go for sale any day now

>>7482423
>Innocent World Oddment Packs are going to go for sale any day now
Is it that time again already?
>mfw irrelevant because customs means I'll never buy one myself

>>7482148
But I'm not female. I'm male.

>It's male virgins people dislike.
That's why I said all that. I know people are ok with female ones.

>>7482498
My bf was 24 when he lost his virginity. I didn't find it disgusting or strange. Heck, I though it was fucking cute, man!

The thing is, don't feel bad anon, as there're guys that don't mind virgin girls, I'm sure the opposite exists. Don't give up and try to open up a little (and if you see that you just can't talk to people, go see some specialist. A friend of mine did this and he's way more extrovert now).

You can do it!

My sleeping schedule is so fucked up.

I've been waking up in the evening/late afternoon for almost a week now, falling asleep around noon or morning once everyone else has actually left for work.

It's really backwards and I am not quite sure how to fix it. If I try to fall asleep a few hours after I awaken, I wouldn't be tired enough. If I try to fall asleep after pulling an all nighter to reach an hour that's considered early, I usually end up failing and fall asleep at noon because I'm too tired.

What do?

>>7482580
Take a nap. Find a sleep schedule app. Both of these things helped my boyfriend and I when we got reamed by classes/video games.

>>7481193
>make sure your college knows about your depression
What do you mean? Do they consider it a disability? I've always wondered if there was something like that, but I never really looked into it.

>>7481248
I have a tiny notebook, I'll try your list idea. I've always liked lists, but I've never done it on such a tiny scale as that. I kind of like the idea.
I went today. My teachers seem nice. I've never had an issue with paying attention in class, though, so where I've got to prove myself is all this first-day homework. It's a little over whelming. Especially the math, since I haven't worked at this level for a while now. But there's even a study group tomorrow morning. I think I might go to it.

>>7482498

Meh my ex was a virgin. He was a dork in bed and I found it super cute and endearing. He was also very mindful which I liked about him. As long as you're entertaining at coffee and dinners, you should be entertaining in bed, right? And as long as you pay attention to the girl and her needs you should be fine.

>>7482580
I've had this issue with work. Stay up all day and night and sleep early the following day. You'll be back on track

>>7482561
Thanks, you're nice.

>>7482282
>Talking with the boyfriend tonight. He really needs to step up his game; he doesnt understand what kind of support I need to be successful.
Success has to come from you, anon. It isn't your boyfriend's responsibility to make you exercise and eat better. Support is great, but if you have the mindset that you -need- support in order to achieve anything, you're heading down a very bad road. Especially because putting the responsibility of your success on others puts a large strain on your relationships. Because if you say they're responsible, that means that they're also responsible if you fail. Don't put the blame on them.

Though maybe you're talking about more things along the lines of, you want to keep carrots and grapes on the counter so you snack on those, but your boyfriend keeps leaving chocolate out. You didn't say a lot, so I'm only looking into the subtext of a few sentences. It distresses me that you keep saying 'need' though. Your boyfriend 'needs' to step up. You 'need' support for success.
If I'm misreading you, don't mistake 'want' for 'need'

My friend and I made a promise several months ago that neither one would commit suicide as long as the other one was alive. Then I learned today that on Friday, they swallowed half a bottle of pills and went to sleep, as they said they "hoped for the best". They're okay now, fortunately. I'm extremely concerned over their well-being, and you have no idea how thankful I am that they're okay. I don't know what I'd do without them. But. There's a part of me that feels betrayed, conflicted, and slightly bitter.

For one, we made a promise and they broke it. I know that they have their problems, I have mine. I know how tempting suicide is. I want to die so badly. But the fact that they actually tried, and didn't try to stop after they did it.... I am so immature and dumb, but it upsets me. In January, I tried to kill myself with a whole bottle of pills, but I threw it up shortly after swallowing them because I remembered our promise, and I didn't want to let them down! I'm still here because they're here. But do they even care about our promise like I do?

Secondly, their parents would let them seek out professional help to any extent that they need, yet they don't want it. And here I am, unable to get professional help because my parents are adamantly against it, and I am currently in a financial and social position where I can't go against their orders. It's like, there's a light at the end of their tunnel and they refuse to move towards it, meanwhile I feel like I keep running blindly in the dark. I can't find a light anywhere.

I'm about to just call the promise off, really. What even is the point anymore.

>>7482728
I bet your fucking 15 years old

Im 26 and stressed out of my mind from family and bills
I am over the teenage "depression" I had before
yes I even considered suicide back then because I was a fucking ignorant teenager

get on my level bitch

>>7482728
what a shitty blog post

really shitty scene girl tier gaia story

also try working out, eating less sugar and losing weight. that really changed my mood and I didnt even think I was depressed about my image

>>7482645
I probably should have included more context, sorry about that!

We live together. He and I both by groceries--whoever has the time to get to the store that week. So no, he needs to really put effort into _not_ bringing back those (painfully delicious) $5 thaw & serve pies, frozen pizzas, $1 tortilla chips, and cake mixes on a weekly basis. It's a tiny apartment with very little room and that goes double for food storage. Note: not exaggerating about the pie thing there is currently a chocolate cream pie and a banana cream pie sitting on top of everything else in our freezer.

So while I understand where you're coming from and certainly agree that a lot of it falls on me, a lot falls on him too. If we weren't living together, then it wouldn't be a problem. I saw most of my initial weight loss (60lbs) when we lived separately.

Besides, if I can keep alcohol out of the apartment at his request, I don't find it terribly unreasonable to ask him to change his shopping habits some, especially considering he WANTS to be supportive and THINKS he already is. I don't think he really understands that he eats like 3x the amount that I do or more before he puts on weight.

>>7482755
>>7482761
At least spread your posts out a little, 3edgy5me samefag

>>7482766
just adding to my post faggot, im not like some samefag who puts "hurr not that anon but.."
also stay mad

>>7482770
Where do you get that I'm mad? If you're not careful you'll cut yourself on all that edge.

>>7482770
You should probably just go through with it and kill yourself if you're just going to be a miserable asshole.

>>7482728
>yet they don't want it
If you're frustrated and flabbergasted with your friend's motivations, maybe I can help give some insight on this part.
I had a really hard time convincing myself to get treatment for my depression. After some half-hearted attempts at therapy and medication that didn't mesh with my chemistry, I was feeling pretty hopeless. I had a lot of things going through my head. I doubted that I really had depression. I doubted that I was ever going to feel better. I doubted anyone cared if I felt better. But here's a really important one: I doubted that I deserved to get better.
I didn't think I was worth happiness. I didn't think that I was worth the money it would take. I thought I was less than dirt and that it would be better for everyone if I just faded away.
If your friend is having a similar mindset, maybe you can see why she's refusing help?

I finally did get help. I got medication that worked for me and gave me the energy to get out of bed and do things that will improve my life. I don't believe those things that I thought before. That was the depression talking.

>>7482755
Hey. You can't really make those kind of assumptions about someone else. Sure, there are teenagers who get an iphone 7 instead of an iphone53 and say they're going to kill themselves, but you can't know where anon is standing.
I relate with you in one place, though. The biggest mistake that people make about depression is thinking that it stops at medication or venting at the therapists. It's something that you have to fight yourself. It takes work and you have to do things that you don't want to do. It's hard and you'll fall down a lot, but it's important to keep moving forward.
Bashing someone is probably not going to make them want to keep moving forward. More like that they'll never accomplish anything and should give up. I don't know what you're trying to achieve.

Why do people hate on people who hate themselves? They kind of have it covered.

>>7481821
I'm having the same problem, anon. All I want to do these days is work on cosplay, especially because I chose a bunch of designs I've totally fallen in love with but school and work are making that impossible. Not to mention I've recently been having health problems that may be serious.

no biggie tho, not like I had other shit to pay for besides my health care

My boyfriend and I don't have any similar interests anymore aside from music, which he's more into than me. He also doesn't talk to me as much anymore and whenever I try to have a conversation with him online he always replys with 'haha' and 'yeah'. It's actually really upsetting for me and I've tried to talk to him numerous times about it but he always says I'm 'too needy'. Like, sorry for actually enjoying talking to you? We're fine in person, but just fuck. I always see my friends texting their partners and having so much fun talking to them and it always makes me so jealous. Doesn't help either that I know he's a huge flirt and I don't have access to his messages so I've been getting really paranoid that maybe he's found someone new that he likes better. (First few months of our relationship he was constantly flirting with other girls, so this is actually plausible as far as I'm concerned)

>>7482799
You're his side girl, just let him go and find someone that can live up to what you want out of a relationship.

>>7482812
sadly, I have to agree with this, anon :( Get out of that asap

if someone doesn't let you have access to their messages that is like the biggest red flag ever, by the way. IF they had nothing to hide, they would want you to trust them completely and know that.

>>7482812
Nah, I'm his main. I'm just worried that he has a side girl that he likes better than me.
And yea, that's what I want to really do but it's really hard to throw away over a year. I've already decided thought if I catch him doing anything suss again then I'm confronting him and dropping his ass. More pissed that apparently whatever I feel is void as long as he doesn't feel the same way.

>>7482818
Fuck that, I dont have anything to hid, but I would rather not have people looking through my shit.

>>7482818
>access to messages

Wow. I have nothing to hide either but I'd be appalled at my partner wanting to go into my messages, especially if they're suspicious. Talk about insecure.

I bought some stuff from ebay and it's not supposed to arrive until tomorrow at the earliest but the shipping hasn't updated from "origin post preparing shipment." I just want to know where my bunnies are :(
I finally met a girl who cosplays at my college and she's amazing. She's everything i want to be. I have the biggest girl crush on her but I feel like i need to play it cool so she isn't scared off.

>>7482818
I disagree. Different people have different comfort levels of privacy. Once you're in a lifelong relationship with someone and have been with them for 15 years, yeah. Maybe you might want to know everything about them. Maybe.

But people have things they want to hide. It's not just bad things. But maybe embarrassing things. Or surprises.
Maybe they have old records of middle school chats that he's super embarrassed about. Maybe he likes a nerdy hobby and wants to wait to talk about it on his own time. Maybe he likes kinky gory porn. Maybe he was an asshole years ago, but has changed and doesn't want to think about that time. Maybe he has records of ex girlfriend chats (not current ones, but from when they were together) and doesn't want his current girlfriend to know what he used to talked to his ex girlfriend about.

Don't forget other people's secrets! Not just his own. Maybe his friend just committed a crime and wanted to confide in the boyfriend. Or maybe the friend is suicidal. Or alcoholic. Or wants to be a woman. Or acts cutesy with the boyfriend but has a tough guy exterior for everyone else.

Would you want every conversation you've had with any of your friends to be broadcasted to their significant others?

Sorry for the wall of text. But I hear this a lot, and people only respond to it with "Respect other people's privacy." If someone doesn't understand why another person would want that respect, they're not going to have empathy for their requests.

>>7482498
Dude don't worry. If the girl is worth it, she won't care and will probably even find it cute.

I'm on the path of becoming a trophy wife. I often find myself neglecting my career because my fiance makes so much more money than me.
I have a degree in liberal arts while he has one in finance and makes 5x more than me.

I know he loves me, but I'm worried I'm making a big mistake.

I think I have gotten to a stage in my life where I can just no longer communicate with my mother.
>Her life consists of sitting home watching tv and drinking on weekends.
>I don't watch tv unless it is the news
>She only watches fox news
>So politics?
>fox news
>So moving on now how about hobbies?
>She thinks I am a freak for liking anime, can not wrap her head around what lolita is so I don't even try to explain it beyond "those pretty dresses that are in my closet, Japanese fashion events"
>She has no hobbies of her own
>SO CATS, LETS TALK ABOUT MY CATS.
>lol cats are scary and I am slowly letting our dog die because you moved away and we can't take care of it
>So fuck that subject.
>OH this happened at work today is that not funny?
>She had no understanding of how jobs work.
I mean, I even brought up how I am going to vacation in California (Where my bf's family lives) and her reaction was "Why?"
what the fuck do you mean why?
how the fuck do you answer that.
what the hell. half of her responses to everything is "Good for YOU" Is that phrase as condescending as I think it is?
...why do I even try?

>>7482755
>>7482761
Feels bad to reply to bait, but w/e
I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder around 3-4 years ago by a psychiatrist, and was receiving professional help for a short time. I was in therapy sessions weekly and I was taking medication. My sister was living at home at the time, and fought with my parents for me to go, but after she moved out, my parents stopped letting me attend. (I've posted on here before talking about my issues) I also do exercise near daily and eat well, and for a while it did help! But now nothing really helps, and I'm tired of being this crazy burden on everyone. I'm hurting everyone I know, and I don't deserve to be alive.

>>7482782
That does give me some insight, I sometimes feel the same way. I want to get help, but at this point I wonder if there's even hope for me anymore. I've been like this for what feels like a really long time! I hope my friend will someday attend anyway, despite how they feel about themselves, I'm worried sick about them. But all I can do is to keep encouraging them to go. I wonder if it's enough.

Continuing from your response to that one anon, I know that therapy isn't the magic tool that will cure everything, and that one has to fight their own battles, but I don't know how to fight this battle anymore. I thought I did for a while after I stopped going, but now I don't know how to deal with myself or my emotions other than well, hurting myself or others. It's horrible. I am a terrible human being. But I can't let my friends know how I feel because there's nothing any of them can do to help.

>so i come to 4chan to bitch and moan
>so classy

>>7482782
I agree with this so much. I was offered the opportunity for help several times; once after I was discovered cutting, once when I was released from the mental hospital, and once when I moved back in with my parents (total it was over a course of 6 or 7 years). I took none of them. No one seemed to stress to me the importance that it was for my future, for my goals. It was just, a thing that was wrong that I had to go fix, with no support, no reasons given to me why. My parents told me I had to see someone when I moved back in with them, but I never brought it up and then they didn't either. It made me anxious, the thought of facing all the things that were wrong, that I was going to have to struggle now to reverse. And it felt like the struggle wasn't worth it - it's been this long of things being the same, why bother fighting for some emotion you barely remember?

Eventually I got married, and my husband had a major depressive breakdown. We both had to face our problems really squarely then, and we both started taking steps in the right direction - still haven't gotten therapy (insurance) but we did get anti-depressants for a time and it helped so much. It's so important to remember where level is, so you can help yourself return there when you see the negative patterns start emerging.

Anyway - yes, it can be hard to understand the reasons why someone would refuse help. Sometimes it might seem more understandable why someone would choose suicide, rather than refuse help. But a lot of depression is made up of things that are really hard to understand, especially from an outside perspective. To you, doesn't it seem like those outside of your POV don't understand? Your friend is probably feeling the same right now, it's just in a different way. You can unite over that feeling, in the end, and maybe you can be the person to help her remember what she wants her future to be, and that getting help is the way for her to accomplish that future.

>>7482845
Sometimes people drift. Parents included. You can't really do anything about it

>>7482830
It's not about privacy! Privacy is very, very different.

It's about being an open person. I don't care about reading old middle school chats - but if he has them and doesn't want me to read them, I want to know that. If he likes kinky, gory porn, why can't I know about that? I mean, I'm married so I have different expectations, I guess. But anon expressed doubt and suspicion and the fact that she didn't have access to the messages seemed to make her feel more anxious about it. If you feel like you have a reason to be anxious, you probably do, and if you bring that up in an open and honest way to them and they still won't set your mind at ease with just showing that there's no secrets - not the tiny details of everything, just showing there's nothing hurtful that they're hiding - then that's a problem.

>>7482848
Bipolar disorder isn't something you can magic your way out of. That's a huge fucking big deal. The most you're going to be able to do at this point is wait, get a job that you can manage, amass money, and become financially independent with your health. You are not going to get anywhere without medication and therapy.
I don't have a lot of experience with bipolar, but have you looked at all into forums about it? Maybe they have better advice for how to handle your manic stages and how to not hurt people. Forums on borderline personality disorder are also a good place for that, for the whole i'm-hurting-people-emotionally-what-do-i-do deal. I can only relate with your depressive side, but things go all to shit when you've got that instability and unpredictability of bipolar.
Look into government help, too. You're kind of in the stupid spot of I-can't-job-because-bipolar and I-can't-medicate-because-poor. If you can acquire some government funding, maybe that can help you get the start of treatment so that you can progress into the workforce.
Good luck, anon!

>>7482864
> If he likes kinky, gory porn, why can't I know about that?
> I mean, I'm married so I have different expectations, I guess.
Because there's the fear of, "She'll think I'm a freak and leave me." Especially when it's just a regular relationship, not a marriage. You sound laissez-faire with sexual preferences. Some people are more wigged out. You also sound like you don't get embarrassed very easily.
Not to mention I said this
> Once you're in a lifelong relationship with someone and have been with them for 15 years, yeah. Maybe you might want to know everything about them.

Some people have the policy of open book from the get-go. The beginnings of a relationship are supposed to be about getting to know each other. You aren't required to trust someone you've dated for 2 weeks with your entire history and all your secrets. People get into relationships with people who turn out to be very bad. You're giving someone potential blackmail by giving them everything right away.

Also about tiny details, some people are wormers. If you tell them, "I delete my browser history because I don't want you to know what kind of porn I watch" they'll say "What kind of porn do you watch?" and they will not let it up until they know. Why just bring it up in the first place?

There's no easy way to give another person proof that the things you keep private are not damaging to them. Because by acknowledging the things you keep private, you're already taking down a layer of that privacy.

I'm too old to pick up a qt3.14 cosplay waifu and have to accept that clubsloots is the only thing left for me. Never felt more out of place going to a convention these days, and it's not even entertaining anymore due to the young crowd (at least in my country)

Sad days

>>7482892
>wormers
Can you clarify what this means?
I agree with the things of which you are speaking of though and you sound like a very well composed person, you're cool in my book.

>>7482911
Wow anon, it must suck to live in a world where there are only two types of women in existence.

I feel that no matter how hard I try with my coords that I never will be a great lolita because I have a very round and not very attractive face.

>>7482989

That feel. Also my nose.