/cgl/ - Cosplay & EGL

Cosplayer girls should come with an automatic caveat that they have body image/mental health issues.

>>7260664

Im tired of people treating conventions as hook up parties

Not sure why anyone would want to date a cosplayer, damaged goods galore in general although there has been a few exceptions.

>>7260664

>Go to Con
>Go to Con for something the Cons not even about

cancerous community


you'd be better served going to a bar than a con if goal is to meet someone.
quit using Cons as an excuse to do things simply because your a massive tool who cosplays because "Nerd Culture" is whats hip right now.

Don't go to conventions just because you want to get laid.

you ruin it for all of us

People who go to cons and flirt are creepy and pathetic. The vast majority of them think cons aren't real life and aren't bound by what's considered socially acceptable in the "real world" so they're just annoying autists who need to accept they have just as much luck getting laid outside of a con, give the fuck up, and stop being weird creepers. This goes for both men and women.

>>7260671
Why.

>>7260677
The quality of a convention diminishes because everyone treats it like a sex tourism vacation.

you cant find any decent conversation
more and more creeps start going to conventions
Conventions eventually start catering to these people
suddenly your back to being the nerdy little outsider even though you went to a convention to meet other nerdy outsiders and find common ground.

what was once a magical getaway where you could relax and be yourself amongst others who are like you becomes a creeper fest full of people who's main objective is just to get laid.

>>7260677
cosplay becomes little more than a fetish after a certain point.

its no longer about fans when its about hooking up

OP here.

>>7260671
I definitely agree that it is a terrible primary driver to go to a con, but if you end up meeting someone there and you think something more could develop, would you not attempt an out-of-con date or something similar?

>>7260674
I personally go to cons because I enjoy the time with friends; we get to enjoy displaying our months of hard work, and getting into character can be kind of fun, too.

>>7260676
I think I can see your point here. The main issue is that certain people do not think rationally while at a convention, which leads to incredibly creepy behavior. Would someone who still maintains socially acceptable behavior be any less creepy for showing interest in someone at a convention?

>go to con
>meet a guy
>we are both HUGE fans of the same thing

>be cutesy fans together
>find out he has no other interests
>relationship lasts a month

nope, would not do again.

>>7260697
you just described alot of con relationships

>>7260697

not to mention that he called/texted me every five seconds, and if I was online lurking /cgl/ or some shit and was NOT talking to him on steam or skype he'd freak the fuck out

"omg my perfect QT 3.14 cosplayer girlfriend why are you ignoring me its been a half hour you've been online and haven't initiated conversation you had me so worried I miss you and I love you you are perfect I'm worried you are going to leave me I'm lucky to have a pretty girl like you"

and if I DID talk to him

>hi!

>hey

>no new episodes.

>yeah.

>how was your day?

>ok

>...

>OMG WHY ARE YOU IGNORING ME

>wut

>>7260701
>>7260697
If that's what I'm competing against it only makes me want to creep conventions more.

I meet my husband at con, but we actually didn't hook up at con. We spoke briefly at the con, and then later on saw each other since we had mutual friends and got to know each other in social gatherings and so on. We didn't start dating until a few months after we met. While he did/does cosplay. It's pretty casually and mostly if I have the time to actually make him the costume or it's easy enough to put together. Otherwise we don't do the con scene much anymore outside of the a con or two out of the year. He's pretty supportive, even when I'm going through my toughest times. We're going on our third wedding anniversary in May.

But yeah. Neither of us ever went to cons to hook up/look for a date, and the con was the place we initially met. My husband had a friend who was pretty desperate to get a girlfriend and was hitting on girls at con, and it came to the point he tried asking a girl out he had only spoken to for 15 minutes, she promptly turned him down(she told him she already had a boyfriend) he spent an hour sulking in the hotel room before he finally told us what happened.

just look at the cosplay culture on this board.
less and less people post threads about cosplay and when they do they often are just image dumps. this board will slowly turn into an exclusively Lolita based board with the occasional cosplay thread.

the con scene and by extension convention scene is dying due to the actual fans leaving because more and more people just go to cons to hook up and act goofy in "wacky nerd" costumes.
Nerd culture gets comodified and marketed to normal people
normal people start to express shallow interest in nerd culture .
start to integrate themselves into nerd .conventions because its considered cool.
still act like normal people and just use the convention as an excuse to have sex with other "nerdy" normal people.

it started a downward spiral long ago and now the actual nerds who went to conventions before stop going since they are considered more and more like outsiders amongst the place they once felt accepted.

the fact that the guy who knows everything about every anime ever is considered to be a weirdo nowadays at conventions about anime, sort of tells you whats been going on.

not only that but if you look at pictures of the people who attended cons many years ago and pictures of people who attend cons now you will see that in the beginning alot of older fans attended cons and now cons are becoming more or less 90% teenagers with the occasional college student thrown in.

OP here.

>>7260683
>>7260686
I like where this discussion is going. The whole point of a convention is for people with like interests to meet up and basically geek out about what they like together.

>>7260697
It took me about 6 months, but I came to realize that the person I met at a con and I had more differences than initially thought. You only really get to see one facet of someone at a convention. Not a very good sample of the whole, but sometimes it's just enough to want to learn more about them.
>>7260701
This part, however, sounds terrible.

>>7260705
>waugh I'm not the center of attention any more.
Who the fuck are you to judge whose a real nerd or not?

>Jesse and James kiss
I really can't be the only one that raged.

I think the general consensus is that hooking up at cons is against the spirit of why cons exist in the first place

and con relationships are often horrid due to cosplayers and con-goers being batshit insane about 90% of the time

so the lesson to take away from this is the fact that you should only go to conventions and cosplay if your an actual fan of a series in relation to the con.

Honestly, people going to anime cons dressed as Homestuck/MLP/Cape Comics/anything not related to anime/manga/Japanese culture irk me more than people who hook up. A lot of people, myself included, don't like normal girls or guys because we can't hold a stimulating conversation about our hobbies/interests and they'd judge us. A lot of these people who "hook up" at cons only hook up at cons and no where else, because it's where they can let loose and be themselves. I've done it before, but it's never my set goal to hook up, it's just something extra that happens. I'd go to cons if there were no girls or feminine guys, drinking abd partying.

TL;DR people can be true fans of the media the con is about and party/hook up, but that should never be the only reason to go to a con.

>>7260726
>Honestly, people going to anime cons dressed as Homestuck/MLP/Cape Comics/anything not related to anime/manga/Japanese culture irk me more than people who hook up.

This

OP isn't asking how to pick up chicks at a con, they're asking about relationships/romance. I see no issue with meeting people at a con so long as you aren't making that your main prerogative at the con.

Cons are pretty much the only place offline where I can meet people who share a majority of my interests.

Just... don't jump into relationships headfirst or you'll basically end up like this >>7260697 Get to know the person for more than just their interests to make sure your personalities don't clash.

I got involved with a guy at a con purely because we had the same interests. I slowly began to find out how conceited and downright dumb he was. Shortly after we broke up he was actually kicked off Anime Punch staff for being too stupid. That's an achievement,

I ended up going out with a guy I met at a convention. We became good friends and developed feelings for each other (none of this nonsense about going to conventions to flirt, we just met each other and clicked). After a few moths we realised that we didn't work in a romantic relationship so we just went back to being friends.

I met my last boyfriend at a comic convention. He had split up from his friends and we started talking when he asked for a pic with me, he was also cosplaying. I invited him to hang out with me and my friends for awhile and we had a good time, hung out with him a few other times over the course of the 3 days and we exchanged contact info. He lived about 2 hrs away and we started dating on weekends for about 6 months and then I moved closer. We were together for about a year and a a half. We went to cons together, cosplayers together, etc. He was pretty awesome, we broke up because it just wasn't working but it was still a good relationship that started at a con.

>>7260668
I've hooked up a few times at conventions now, two times I ended up dating the guy. Latest relationship lasted over a year.
I don't come to cons to hook up, but when I meet a guy and we hit it off nicely, I always make sure to tell them that I have some issues and warn them about it beforehand as best as possible so they have a chance to back out.
Not too sure if it's the right way to do it and most crazies you meet at cons will likely not do that since most crazies aren't gonna admit that they have problems.

To sum it up - Don't go to conventions just to pick up girls/guys. Most people can sense the desperation and douchebaggery miles away. Go there to make friends/see friends/enjoy your hobby and THEN if you meet someone, go with the flow and see where it'll take you.
Just be careful with who you go with. There are a lot of crazy needy girls and a lot of crazy lonely guys at cons.

>>7260683
yeah i see what you mean, i started going to cons in 2007 and wish i started way before

it seems like a place like magfest would have a better crowd but i haven't been there yet so i wouldn't know

>>7260768
>There are a lot of crazy needy girl
but anon this is all i want.

I met my current boyfriend at a local anime & comic meet over a year ago. We spent alot of time talking with one another as great friends, joking around, discussing the usual anime, cosplay and game stuff etc. Gradually we went to more conventions together and became a couple. Since then he's retired from cosplay as he's lost interest in the whole scene and due to being a very busy university student he's become more focused on his future career. We share many more interests together which I'm thankful for that it's not just the one con thing and it's gotten to a point I honestly don't mind going to geeky events without him. He's supportive of both my costume making and Lolita fashion side as long as it continues to make me happy even if he's no longer by my side.

I know a few people (mostly cosplayers) who would literally end a relationship or not even enter one unless the person enjoyed and took part in 100% everything they did.

I met my boyfriend through cosplay. We've been dating for over a year now, so it's very possible. Going to cons just to get a girlfriend though? I really don't respect that, I see enough crusty hoes in the halls of one con as it is. Most of the girls who /are/ date-able at a con aren't looking at the con, because they'd rather be doing something else and aren't desperate.

>>7260883
*aren't looking at the dating options

just woke up, /cgl/. Sorry bout that.

>>7260883
Pretty much this.
I met my soon to be wife at an anime con back in 2006, because of similar anime and gaming interest. We hit it off and now all these years later I can't imagine myself with anyone else. I don't go to cons looking for relationships. You meet people and keep in touch through email,Skype, and in person and it happens if you're right for eachother. Other than that, I go to cons to make friends and hang with people who like similar fandoms and hobbies as me. I've met some amazing people in the 12 years I've attended anime cons.

Going to cons just looking for a relationship almost never works. It's unexpected.
Unless you're looking just to hook up for a one-nighter though, though you'd still have better luck at a bar.

I meet my BF in a convention too, we were staff and sometimes he had to help me because I was new. We became friends and months later we started our relationship. And now 3 years almost dating! He wasnt a cosplayer before, but when we started as a couple I offered him to do a couple cosplay and he liked it so now we cosplay together a lot.

But going to a convention expecting to find a SO... I don't think it works well. You can find someone interesting, yeah, but it's difficult. And you won't enjoy the convention, I'm sure people can "sense" you're looking for a bf/gf

Went to a convention for the first time 3 years ago and liked it. I wasnt looking for love then for I was having a good time but luck had to throw me a wrench and introduced me to my ex.

I say we dated about 3 years. Shes a really great person, but I guess we wernt compatible. Sure it gets lonely at times for I usually go to cons by myself, but if the main goal is to have fun and to relax, its much better on your mind imo. I dont regret what has happened and will continue to focus on bettering myself and to have a good time with my interests and hobbies that I love.

Sure, if you go into cons with that mindset you might get lucky, but later on youll feel empty.

>>7260697

>go to con
>meet a girl
>we are both HUGE fans of the same thing

>be cutesy fans together
>find out she has the same interests.
>She lives 4 hours away or is from another state.

>>7260768

This happens to me every year.

>Fuck trying to hook up! TIME TO COSPLAY AND PARTY!
>End up meeting someone and really hit it off.
>Either we stop just before we're about to do it or they tell me at the last second they have a bf despite flirting with me the entire time and never seeing their bf.
>Spend rest of the con sexually frustrated and/or heart broken.
>NEXT YEAR WILL BE DIFFERENT!

Always when you don't look it finds ya, then when you open your eyes it just runs away.

>>7260969
>go to con
>meet a girl
>we are both HUGE fans of the same thing

>be cutesy fans together
>find out we don't have many other common interests and aren't really that compatible
>don't care, want companionship and like her anyway
>she evetually loses interest because she actually has options
>breaks up with me for other guy

Welp, back to being alone I guess...

>>7260899

Yeah those people are always funny. I used to know a guy who only went to cons to try and get laid. It was funny for the first like 3 years of him getting rejected and only getting the fat whales throwing themselves at him since he was a solid 8. He grew out of it and met his gf out side the con who ironically has all the same interets as him and they go to cons now.

>>7260969
Go for it man, it's really not that far.
I'm in a LDR between two separate continents with a 9 hour time difference...

>>7260990

I've done LDR before. They don't work, it's a bad idea.

>>7260705
*tips fedora*

I've met most of the people I've dated at cons. I met my husband at a con, we've been together 9.5 years now.

>>7260991
I've done them twice before and neither of those worked out, but I'm more positive about this one, at least from my own perspective.
No idea about my current partner though...

>>7260991
I'm in an LDR, It's been going for like 3 years and he's 1000 miles away. It's really not that hard, unless you're constantly horny and need satisfaction at the rate of a prepubescent teenager.

>>7260712
>whose

>>7260683
>what was once a magical getaway where you could relax and be yourself amongst others who are like you becomes a creeper fest full of people who's main objective is just to get laid.

>It was once a magical getaway where you could relax and be yourself

>But then other people were being themselves and I didn't like it

I don't even do casual sex but I hope you're seeing the hypocrisy here

If someone's creeping, that's one thing, but if they just ask or try to talk with you or successfully hook up with other people that's no big deal, let them do their thing.

>>7260991
LDR here, 5 years, 3000 miles and 6 time zones apart, still going strong. It can work but both parties need to really really want it.

>>7260664
Funny how most people in this thread are talking about how damaged the "other people" are...

>mfw we are the "other people"

>>7260705
>the fact that the guy who knows everything about every anime ever is considered to be a weirdo nowadays at conventions about anime, sort of tells you whats been going on.

I only go to a few midwest cons but I haven't seen this at all

This shit is celebrated through trivia contests and stuff even, those who know more about something are looked upon as gurus in our individual groups, and sought out when there's a cosplay we don't recognize or similar

Maybe you need to hang out with less shitty people at cons

So /cgl/ seems to think that seeking a relationship at a con is a terrible idea.

But what's the fucking alternative? I want to find someone who shares my interests. I'm not going to find that bar hopping. Should I just hang around the anime section of Best Buy creepily? Cosplay to the mall and see who strikes up a conversation? Stalk high school anime club members until the turn 18?

No, cons are the best chance.

A lot of people also seem to be equating looking for an actual relationship with looking for a one-night stand, which I don't really think is fair.

I started going out with a girl at a con, although we had already been dating for two months before that. Eventually ran out of things to talk about on the drive home, so figured, "Why the hell not?"

I don't really know if that counts as con romance, or just romance happening at the same time as a con.

I'm sure it's possible to find relationships happening at cons and dating people you meet there. However, I don't think it should be the first thing to focus on. My first thoughts when I go to cons are things like, "alright, I'm gonna enjoy dressing up as my favorite character and see all the other cool cosplays" or "I finally get to see this voice actor or whoever that is a guest", but basically regarding what the con has to offer itself. I don't really go there with the intent of finding love or a date. If I meet someone there and it happens, then sure, cool, but if not, then that'll happen at other times, and other places. That's just me, though.

>>7260683
This. I want to go to cons and not worried about getting hit on. I want to discuss fandoms, not swap phone numbers or go to your hotel rooms. Stop

>>7260991
No. The woman I'm marrying and I have been together for six years. We live four hours sort in different states. Moving in together next year. It works for some people, but not everyone. It isn't hopeless.

>>7261028

Some people want differently. People of both genders.

Unless you're wearing a sign that says DON'T HIT ON ME or some shit guys have no way of knowing who to approach and who not to

As long as they stop when they should it's not like it takes a lot to say "No thanks."

>>7261036
Cons are not your personal okay Cupid though. That shit is annoying

>>7261048

No they're not. But they are a large social event filled with people who share interests and a number of people of opposing genders who are looking to hook up. That's their business. I admit I'm annoyed by the overflow of the rave scene and what have you but, as I said, some people are looking for that. So let them do their thing and just point them elsewhere if they bark up the wrong tree. They're not hurting you.

>>7261058
Normalfags fuck everything up.

>>7261075

They certainly can.

But I'm not the normalfag gatekeeper, and I'm sure lots of the rave folks love the fuck out of anime just the same. So just let them go in peace and continue on with your shit.

>>7260705
Posts like this really grate on me. The nerd culture always prided itself on being accepting due tot he fact they were seen as outsiders. We were open and took people in because we were shunned. Now we look like god damn hypocrites as we are practicing the same selective behavoir that caused use to be seen as outsiders in the first place

>>7261135
>not wanting non nerd and non anime fans coming to cons to harass cosplayers by hitting on them / trying to hook up

>nerds are assholes
Mmkay

>>7261144

Man not that person but I think you entirely misinterpreted their post

>>7261135

I agree with this.

What's worse I see people shunning the hardercore nerds along with the normalfags, like we have to strike some sort of balance. The guy who watched Toonami a few times and wanted to see what this whole thing was about and the guy carting out $1,200 worth of gundam models from the dealers room have just as much right to be there as everyone else.

>decent enough cosplayer
>attractive, but modest
>not a trainwreck
>breasts not on display, not wailing at everything for attention
>has a hard time making con friends because I am not an attention whore

>>7261028
>Waaaahhhh I want to go to a public, social event and not have people try to be my friend or more
>Waaaahhhh no one should ever try to hook up at a con because they might annoy me
>Waaaahhhh everyone there thinks just like me, right

Keep crying bitch nigger. People get hit on no matter where the fuck they are, especially at a huge social event filled with people with common interests. Deal with it.

>>7261155
If you go to more mature cons, it's easier to make friends by going to panels and trivia stuff etc

>>7261162
I live in Maine. I'm very limited as to what I can get to.

>>7261166
welp I'm on a roll

>>7261166
Aw sorry to hear that. I'm not sure what cons are nearest you.

>>7261160
Shut the front door, barfag

>>7261169
I drove 12 hours to Otakon this year in Maryland. Other than that (if that's even mature) I don't know what else in the general vicinity falls into a mature category.

There are mostly only small cons up here. Oh well.

I tried a few times, but I'd always end up with some guy who you later find out is a 20 something virgin. I prefer people who are more normal.

>>7261144
>Love cons because they're welcoming and everyone is open minded about oithers
>Wants to judge anyone who enters who's doesn't meet a certain definition of what a nerd is

>>7261229

Fucking this.

These people don't want to be accepting, they just want to be top of a different garbage heap.

Most socially normal girls take the act of being hit on as a complement if the person doing the flirting is attractive. After going to cons for 8 years, the only people who react strongly to flirting are fucking retarded sjws that have been damaged and like to demonize normal social behavior so that their simple lives become easier.
Seriously, normal girls just say "no thanks" and move on instead of bitching about trivial shit online.


The aforementioned retards also hate when others have fun and usually try to bring everyone down.

Tbh these types are the worst cancer to ever plague conventions.

>>7261135
>>7261151
>>7261229
>>7261254
>>7261272

>>7260664
Dated a coplayer girl I meet at a con for a few months
turned out she had another boyfriend at the same time and even her family was hiding it to me. Thing got pretty weird so I stopeed dating her.

So it is possible to meet someone at a con. But at the same time I have found few single people. Most male cosplayers there are being forced to cosplay by their girlfriends.

>>7261272
Eh not all of the girls who go to conventions are like that. I;ve had the same group for two years now and while three of the girls do enjoy flirting and such two really don't like attention much at all. (They don't cosplay and wear shirts of whatever it is they are into and mostly spend their time going to events.) Those two always get hit on the most despite politely telling them off.

Just saying.

>>7261254
It feels good to remember how much better you are than the rest of the world.

>>7261162
Never expected to see another Mainer, we really are lacking on the community front.
I've not been to anything since I moved here, but I've heard talk of Anime Boston being a pretty big deal, I haven't had a chance to make it down though. Maybe you can check it out and let me know if its worth the trip

>>7261272
>someone doesn't like my sexual advances abloobloobloo

I dated someone 2 weeks after having met at the con, though we shared a few mutual friends and this guy roomed with us. He also happened to live right by me in the same city, so distance issues were not a problem. I was 15, the guy had just turned 18 two weeks prior.

It was sort of my first relationship so I didn't know how to go about handling the whole dating process and was really shy. I feel like a portion of the relationship was my fault because, seeing as how I hadn't known the guy for so long, I kept our contact only through messengers and text until we were actually able to meet in person because I was not comfortable talking on the phone. I was glad he didn't object, but a month into the relationship his replies would become sparse, to the point we wouldn't talk for long periods. And I don't mean like the previous anon with their ex asking for them every 5 minutes, but He would initiate convos and never continue them, leaving me just sorta hanging there. I broke up with him after only... 4 months? I'm friends with him still and have a new boyfriend, but apparently (and I really hope I am wrong) he still seems to like me despite the both of us having hardly any shared interest.

I found out from my friend that the guy had asked him before the con if he could date me, which really has given me a sort of different view of him.

>>7260664
I try to always have sex with at least three different guys at every convention I go to. It's fun, and they're nerdy so they probably don't have any STDs.

>Met current boyfriend at a con
>he got into cosplaying after we started dating
>we are going two and a half years strong now

We didn't go to the con looking for a relationship, it just happened.

>>7261272
When you're at a con and just wanna chill, getting hit on is irritating, especially with the flux of idiots going to cons to try to get laid by "edgy" cosplayer girls. It's not a tumblr thing.

>>7261552
I'm from Boston. AB is pretty cool but then again I'm one of the casuals this thread is talking about.

I really wish I knew more about anime in order to talk to people. I just stick with my other normalfag friends that I drag along.

>>7261666
You could actually watch it, you know?

There's always a list of what's coming out for the 2014 season and you can look for stuff based on your interests. Anime is just a broad word for Japanese animation anyway and there's a shit ton of stuff out there based on genre.

>>7261666
>I really wish I knew more about anime in order to talk to people. I just stick with my other normalfag friends that I drag along.

Satan and I share this sentiment...

>>7261581

I get loser chills from any eighteen year-old dude that dates a fifteen year-old girl. There was a guy like that on my dorm floor my freshman year of university- his high school sweetheart had just transitioned into sophomore year while he'd begun his college career. I get the whole "BUT GRILLS ARE MORE MA-CHURE AT A YOUNGER AGE THAN GUIS DOE" argument, but why would you want to stick around underage high school kiddies when you could hang out with actual adults?

>>7261912
>actual adults
>18 and 19 year olds
LOL

>>7261917

Close enough. Point being, I found high schoolers frustrating to be around and preferred socializing with young twenty-somethings when I was eighteen. Sixteen years I could understand, but fifteen just screams, "I can't find anyone else who likes me," to me.

>>7261912
>>7261921

I totally get you. I had no intentions of getting into a relationship, especially with someone a few years older than me. I initially told him no because I wasn't comfortable dating an "adult" but he kept bringing up if I would have said no if he was 17 and I sorta gave in. Idk I was a loser and I'm glad that relationship did not continue any further.

>>7260758
Raven fuck off /cgl/

>about ~2007
>just turned 17, going to first con
>too nervous to go in costume
>tall australian guy starts flirting with me, he's like mid 20s
>can only understand half the words he's saying
>thisisnowmyfetish
>end up going to his apartment and fooling around a little
>'date' him over webcam for a month or so
>first ever 'boyfriend', not sure what to do
>meet up again, tell him i don't want to go all the way before we know each other better
>tells me that's fine as long as i keep camming with him and fooling around with him every weekend
>friends all tell me i'm getting used but deny it
>go to another con because he says he's busy that weekend
>'boyfriend' is picking up some bitch in an admittedly well-made sailor mars costume
>yell at him and call him a liar and a cheater
>just laughs at me and tells me to grow up
>hate myself for crying, swear to never date anyone from a con again
>every long term boyfriend ever since then from a con
>always ends up either the same way or they're weird obsessive weirdos
>still hate myself for being attracted to stupid australians

>>7261912

People aren't always defined by their age yo

>>7263881
we aint stupid

'straya

>>7263881

.... why?

Thank you for the pretty picture though.

>Friends are hosting cosplay dating game
>friends make me participate
>ask the most bullshit questions i can think of
>Eventually guess bachelorette 3 is Asuka Langley Shoryu
>I knew this because I spoke to her earlier today I remembered her voice. the questions were too bullshit to guess anything about the character.
>Had some mutual friends. Chatted a bit.
>Got her MSN address. AW YEAH MSN MESSENGER.
>We're both interested, so I invite her to my house for pasta and strongbow.
PROTIP: if you're of drinking age, and can make a mean pasta, add in some strongbow for guaranteed impressed girl.
>She brings over rock band. We play vidya gaems, drink strongbow, and enjoy pasta.
>Goes alright for a while.
>we enjoy each other's company, and such.
>I work retail.
>See her twice maybe all december. Shit sucks.
>We drifted apart over that month.
>January first or second we break up, but on good terms.
That was 3 years ago. Still friends, but would not go out with again.

I have a QT 3.14 GF that I've been going out with for more than a year and a half now. We met through vidya gaems, and have gone for several cons together. At the most recent we did a couple cosplay.

>>7261912
>3 year difference

Do you also have a problem with 60+ year old guys who marry young women...?

I dunno, to me, three years isn't a big deal. My boyfriend and I are two years apart, so you could say , "OMG YOU STARTED DATING A 16 YEAR OLD AND YOU WERE 18!?!"

But, it's not a big deal. Two years later we're still fine, and to be honest, he was more mature than me to begin with. Age and age difference have little to do; it depends on the people involved.

>>7264045
the age difference thing really depends on what age you're at to begin with.
15 and 18 together is a bit dicey.
Having that said, my girlfriend and I are 5 years apart. I'm 25, and she's 20.
I think I was way more nervous about the age difference than she was, but it's working out well.

>>7264051
A guy I dated (now around 26-27) is dating an 18-year-old who looks like she could be his little sister. I think 20/25 isn't that bad. Once you're in your early to mid-20s, you're generally in the same sort of stage of life, but a late-20s guy and a college freshman is so sketchy to me.

>>7264082
I hate to post XKCD, but this one is relevant.
age/2+7= the lowest age you can date without it being creepy holds together pretty well.

>>7260883
>That double standard

>>7260664
>go to post con cosplay picnic
>hang out with con buddies I normally only see at cons
>they introduce me to their new friend who is local
>he likes the anime that I like
>start facebooking find out about common interests
>turns out we live 15 mins from each other
>start msn and texting
>he asks me to go to the movies with him and his friend
>then just the two of us
>then dating
>things are fine for a bit
But then
>He starts having family problems
>Keeps me in the dark about a lot of so I'm not sure how to be supportive
>His family issues result in him leaving home and floating from place to place
>don't really see each other anymore
>have no means of contact outside of email suddenly
>results in a lot of fighting
and then I ended it. He didn't take it well at the time but now we get along great.

And now I'm dating this anon
>>7264029
and it's awesome

>>7264129
I like how you found my post without me even saying anything <:3c

>>7264129
>>7264134

Get a room

I met my guy of interest at a con about two years back. We just struck up a conversation and have been talking ever since.

We do have a lot in common when it comes to what we like in partners, and a few of our interests cross over, but he's mostly into guns and Metal Gear and I'm mostly into fantasy and lore.

He also lives all the way in Montana and I only see him once a year at the con (where I met him in the first place).

I'm not jumping in and calling it a relationship, but I do believe he's worth getting to know beyond his hobbies; who he is morally and such.

>>7261229
>>7261254

>Letting normal fags in who want to do nothing but start drama, get drunk and get laid.
>Letting people in who clearly don't give a shit about your hobby and are only interested in it because it makes them popular and "LE SUCH A NERD XD!"
>Letting people in who still call you a nerd as if they whre calling a black guy a nigger despite wearing head to toe anime/comic shit they got from hot topic.

This is WHY cons where created in the first place. This whole "nerds prided themselves on accpence" is pure bullshit and a lie. Nerds and geeks hate people it's been like that ever since the creation of the word and if it wasn't for these fucking fagots letting every moron in we wouldn't have all this shit about how guys are creeping on girls and how sexist anime and comics are with this fucking e celeberty bullshit.

>>7264690
This is my first time on /cgl/ and seeing you girls be genuine about your hobby and mocking wannabes is so inspiring.

>>7261187
>some guy who you later find out is a 20 something virgin

But....I am normal, I swear

>>7264690
>This whole "nerds prided themselves on accpence" is pure bullshit and a lie.
I agree in part, but I don't think it's complete bullshit; rather, it's more a case of "after this, therefore because of this." The words "nerd" and "geek" never referred to members of a group with a single cohesive identity but rather identified particular people within a much larger group as outsiders in some way. So "nerd culture" was accepting of people inasmuch as it was composed of anyone who identified (or was identified) as an outsider, but it's not because the culture in itself was based in tolerance--it's because "nerd culture" referred to such a motley grouping of people and ideologies that it seems tolerant to some by virtue of its convolution and incoherence when regarded as a whole.

Defining "nerd culture" as being one thing or another is more an effort to make sense of that incoherence, usually in order to form some sort of social identity for oneself (thus the necessity of accepting or rejecting certain subgroups); since the identity was never properly defined, though, anyone who feels himself to be outside the prevalent social order--whatever he thinks it is--could consider himself a "geek" or "nerd" without truly being wrong.

>>7261187
If you think that being in your twenties and still being a virgin is so wrong, then maybe you should help them stop being one

>>7264801
>If you think that being in your twenties and still being a virgin is so wrong, then maybe you should help them stop being one
I'm not a bottom feeder and I don't owe them anything.

>>7264734
What's wrong with being a virgin in your twenties? I didn't have sex until I was 19 going on 20. Some people want to wait, or some don't feel comfortable yet.

>>7264826
It's weird if you are a male.

>>7264833
No, it's not....

>>7264833
>guys who aren't that interested in fucking the closest slut are weird

Why is everyone so obsessed with sex?

Why is that virgins are instantly labeled perverts, despite the irony in that?

>>7264833

>>7264858
Forgot to add

2/10, apply yourself

>>7264858
I don't know, but it bothers me. Like girls who don't have sex right away are cold or rigid and boys who don't have sex right away are lame or losers.

People are morons and need to stop watching teen romance comedies. And anything invoking Vince Vaughn or Owen Wilson

I have a question.

What does /cgl/ think of the increasingly slutty reputation that female cosplayers are getting?

I've noticed that even outside of my circle of nerdy friends, guys look at girls who cosplay less as odd types these days and more as people who are easy and down to fuck.

Is the reputation spreading? Are we going to see the "slutty cosplayer" stereotype go mainstream?

>>7264857
Yes it is.

>>7264858
Stop with your lame excuses for being unable to get a partner.

>>7264869
If you honestly think there's something wrong with people who don't sleep around right away, you're probably a whore yourself
Some people want to wait til marriage or they meet the right person. Sex can really mess up a relationship if it doesn't work out. Some people are (gasp) asexual and prefer not up have sex. People obsessed with sex annoy me.

>>7261135
>The nerd culture always prided itself on being accepting due tot he fact they were seen as outsiders.

No it didn't. And neither do you. Nobody is completely accepting. All groups have standards that are exclusionary to some degree or else they wouldn't be groups.

>>7260705
Lolita is perfect. It's got all the attention whoring, all the daddy issues, all the promiscuity and sleeping around but it's coupled with the fact you need absolutely no effort to be a lolita. Just money to buy the shit.

>>7260703
Good relationships hardly ever result from flings.

Women need to keep their legs closed more often imo. This is why white guys prefer asian girls.

>>7260676
I think the more pathetic ones are the ones who try to make cons into an excuse to get drunk and party.

Why do girls love drinking so much anyway?

>>7260668
Cosplayer girls are trashy, slutty and easy but god if some of them don't get my dick as hard as diamonds.

>>7264875
>I'm unattractive and I can't get a girlfriend so I'll just make up all these excuses for why I'm a 20 something virgin
Girls can see right through men like you

>>7264876
0/10

>>7264082
Are you sure this isn't jealousy speaking?

A lot of women seem to hate the idea of a guy having a relationship with a younger girl because she dislikes the fact it reminds her of the fact she's losing market value the older she gets.

Perhaps, instead of jealousy, you should only date men you could see yourself marrying? There's nothing inherently creepy about a man in his mid to late 20s dating an 18 year old girl, or even a 15 year old girl provided he respects her and loves her and her him.

>>7263881
>end up going to his apartment and fooling around a little

You got alpha'd.

Women are incapable of actually exercising libidinal self control as far as alpha males go. They just need to spread their legs for them.

Weird how men are more capable of exercising sexual self control huh?

>>7260701
what a cunt you are

>>7264880
>I don't like your opinion. You must be a neckbeard
Try again. I'm a woman and I'm actually been in a very awesome relationship for going on 6 years.

>>7261254
Actually that's you.

Men couldn't care much about sexual hierarchies in a male dominated space, which is what cons used to be.

But women are incapable of having hobbies of their own, so they just invade ours and turn them into games of sexual selection where the hottest guys lord it over everyone else and everything becomes one massive gossip mill.

Stop spreading your legs.

>>7264876
This.

>>7264893
How does your relationship have anything to do with how virgin guys are weird?

>>7264888
>Weird how men are more capable of exercising sexual self control huh?
>he actually believes this

>>7264888
>>7264891
>>7264895
>>7264899
Why so many same fagging trolls today?

>>7264888
>implying anyone in their teen years is capable of exercising libidinal self control, regardless of gender

>>7264876
>This is why white guys prefer asian girls.
>Feelingstein when this is true and it's impossible to find a white girl who isn't a slut these days

Feels bad man. Why can asian girls hold off on giving in to every half decent looking guy who hits on them and gives them some PUA spiel but white girls can't?

>>7264905
>feelingstein when only had sex with 2 girls at 24 and passed up sex with 3 more
>feelingstein when i'm not the anon you're replying to
>feelingstein when a man and can enjoy things in my life that aren't related to sex

>>7264864
Exactly, it fucking pisses me off when people do that shit.

>And anything invoking Vince Vaughn or Owen Wilson

Holy shit, are you me?

>>7264906
Because if you stopped chasing sluts in totemo sexy cosplays/outits and started thinking with your head instead of your dick, you'd see that that is complete bullshit.

>>7264901
All a guy needs to get between your legs is good looks. You'd throw away a 3 year relationship or a 20 year marriage all the same. That's it, good looks and some 'confidence' shit. He doesn't even need to have a job.

You are so pathetic compared to asian qts.

>>7264911
I saw The Darjeeling Limited and out of them all, Owen Wilson's the only one who kept the same facial expression during the movie. god damn.
>mfw I can only make one facial expression

As-salamu alaykum bitches,

I am /r9k/'s resident talking camel and i am passing by with my caravan looking for a gf

any takers?

pls respond

>>7264911
I-I might be. I'm just a woman who hates how sex is pushed on young people by society, saying this is how you "should" be by a certain age.
Also, none of those movies are funny. Whhhy

>>7264913
But you're just jealous of those whores who cosplay as Yoko (and yes, if you've ever cosplayed as Yoko, you're a massive fucking whore).

If an alpha showed you the slightest bit of attention, you'd tremble and fall apart. Remember that slut who Jagiya hit on the other night who has a boyfriend and she ended up giving him his email despite how she started out by calling him an asshole?

And Jagiya isn't even alpha in the first place. Just has the yellow fever qt appeal. Imagine if an actual alpha descended on this place. You would ride his dick in turns.

>>7264929
Any female would.

>>7264923
>saying this is how you "should" be by a certain age.

That actually sums up what I'm thinking very well.

>female
>tfw you can't be me
it's a good feel

>>7264935
That's the point.

80% of women going for the top 5% of men and getting mad when they cheat.

Women think 80% of men are "below average" in terms of looks.

And they say that we're the shallow ones.

>>7264919
>tfw you always look bored
>tfw you smile, it's barely recognizable

>>7264941
And? If we want to share a hottie, we'll share a hottie. Fuck off. I'd rather share a hottie than have a loser all to myself.

>>7264980

Seriously. I'd rather have a good man than a shitty one, faithfulness is not even a factor for me.

> With a hot programmer
> Tell hot programmer he can sleep with anyone he wants with only one rule: No hiv in the house.
>I sleep with whoever I want
>We raise our beautiful cat together and talk about the hot women we sleep with
> Relationship works

> tfw men think being alpha is a thing in real life.

>>7265017
A better way of putting it would be self-confident men and men who are not self-confident.

>>7264980
>>7265000

This is fucking hilarious, really, it is.

>N-no honey it's o-okay, you can fuck other womyn too, just d-don't forget about me, r-right?

>Go alone to a con (male)
>See a really good cosplay of one of your favorite characters (female)
>Too scared to even ask for a picture because she could think I'm a creep

Virtually all of the really slutty camwhores I know from places like /soc/ are also cosplayers.

How does /cgl/ feel about that?

>>7265051
We've known a lot of cosplayers are sluts since the dawn of time. Where have you been?

>>7264941
>Making statistics up based on your own failings with women

>>7264941
You're straying kinda far from the red pill, anon

>>7265034
Christ, just ask for a picture and say she looks good.

>>7264833
You trying to shame me femminist whale

>>7265000
whoreget

>>7264866
>slutty cosplay has always been a thing
as often Chinese cartoons are sexual
i'd say it's more those big bangers thinking it makes them look like such a nerd

>>7265000
but as long as you both agree to this then it is faithful?

>>7265154
It's just a kop out relationshit for normies that always ends up failing.

Women need to understand there's more to relationships than looks and sex.

I'm from /v/ and I really don't want to date any of you girls. Ew.

>>7265027
Pls go Jeff

>>7265192
>/v/

You can go too.

>>7264884
15 and 20something year old is creepy. Theyre at different points in their lives and have different priorities. In todays day and age it just doesnt work. I started dating my boyfriend when I was 14 and he was 17, its been nearly 5 years now so I mean things have worked out, but i think if the age gap were any bigger at such a young age, no go.

>>7265225
lol you lost your v at 14 you are so trashy

>>7265067
It's not a made up statistic. It's a fairly well known okcupid aggregate.

80% of men are rated by women as being below average.

>>7264866
>Are we going to see the "slutty cosplayer" stereotype go mainstream?
It already has

>>7265240
Nah actually. We had been dating for nearly a year before we had sex. Thanks for your assumptions though. Besides, theres nothing trashy if you love the person and feel comfortable in doing so. Get with the times.

>>7264980
Good good

>>7264858
>mfw lost my virginity to another virgin and am still with her
Feels great.

>>7265260
>Get with the times.
I'd rather not. Rampant degeneracy isn't a good thing for society. 18yo fucking a 15 is also illegal in much of North America and Western Europe.

>>7265372
>degeneracy
>waiting almost a year to have sex
The degenerates I know fuck in the first month or two. Waiting almost a year to do it is apparently an extremely rare thing now.

>>7265372
>age of consent
Please, don't make me laugh. Each state and country has their own laws, there is no technical right or wrong.
>Cross-border travel for sex. The PROTECT Act, §105(a)(b), establishes an age of consent of 18 for travel into or out of the country or between states for the purpose of a sexual encounter. If a person lives in a state where the age of sexual consent is, for example, 16 and is dating a 16- or 17-year-old in another state where the age of consent is also 16, that would violate this federal law, even though any particular activity the two people may engage in would be legal in both their states.
My boyfriend went off to college and we were not going to wait till I was 18 to have sex because some men in politics said it was a no-no. We were very much in love and we still are, and 5 years later I still think I made the right choice. Go knock on someone else's relationship, but we are not rampant degenerates.

>>7265393
:-)

>>7265393
Which just goes to show you how bizarre the world has become.

In a decade you you might have kiddos saying that waiting a whole month is for weirdo christians from the 1950's only.

>>7265415
A whole year is more than enough time. How long do you wait?
By then you know the person, know if you're happy with them and how they are, and you know weather you're in love with them or not. Nothing should be wrong with having sex with them at that time.

>>7265430
Yeah it's six months to year for me as well.
Enough to time to really know if I'll be able to rely on him should a pregnancy occur.

>>7265455
Yeah that's a good amount of time. I don't worry about pregnancy because I have the birth control shot that lasts 3 years but I do like to wait and know weather I like the person and if they're right for me and know generally if we'll have a lasting relationship together.
I think waiting more than a year unless you feel like you're not ready doesn't really have much of a point unless you're saving it for marriage.

>>7260772

magfest last (... this?) year was amazing. it's all the fun parts of an anime convention without all the childish weebery. i thought it was pretty great, but then again I'm primarily a gamer.

now back to your regularly scheduled thread oops

>>7265242

>trying to generalize statistics from okcupid

>>7264929
The hate is strong with this one.

1) I don't think Stormy is a slut, at all
2) She didn't call me an asshole. Just a douche but that's just from reading the posts I've made on other boards, which is understandable
3) I wasn't even hitting on her nor was she hitting on me. It was just a conversation between two people that others thought was flirting.
4) Alpha is a mindset and I think I'm pretty goddamn alpha, sempai.

>>7265642
Jag, you're a fag. You go on about how much you prefer asian chicks but the slightest moment a white girl of average looks shows any interest in you, you're all over her like a slobbering dog.

I thought asians were better than niggers. But this is very nigger-esque behavior.

>>7265660

So I decided to dig a little deeper because of what anons have been saying ITT;

http://archive.heinessen.com/r9k/?task=search2&ghost=&search_text=white&search_subject=&search_username=Jagiya&search_tripcode=&search_filename=&search_datefrom=&search_dateto=&search_op=all&search_del=dontcare&search_int=dontcare&search_ord=new&search_res=post

You've got issues broski. You remind me of the asian dudes I've met who get mad on the internet about asian girls dating white guys. Thank fuck you keep your autism confined to shitty forums. You know you'd get your ass beat if you started spouting that shit in real life.

>>7265669
This "Jagiya" sounds like a Korean. Is he? Koreans have as big mouths as they do faces, and their (non plastic) faces are pretty fucking huge.

>>7265675

Fuck knows. But Koreans are indeed a slave race.

>Furthermore they are very cowardly, as it seemed what we have heard from reliable people concerning their behavior during the Japanese invasion, when their king was killed and a great number of cities and villages were destroyed. From Jan Janse Weltevree we heard that when the Tartarians came over the ice and occupied the country, more soldiers hanged themselves in the wood, than had been killed during the battle against the invaders.

>So it happened quite a few times that when Dutch, English or Portuguese ships on their way to Japan came into Korean waters, Korean war junks who wanted to take possession of these ships returned empty-handed to their base, because the persons on board did it in their trousers out of fear.

>Journal of Hendrik Hamel

>>7265660
You seem so invested in this. Why do you care so much?

>>7265702
People, especially my qt3.14 Stormy, thinks you're such a good guy but you're a narcissistic asshole who thinks he's so much better than everyone.

http://archive.heinessen.com/r9k/thread/S7870804#p7872713

>>7265748
Wow Jagiya that picture holy shit. That's horrible.

>>7265702
I honestly don't care what you do with seagulls since I don't have much of a leg to stand on ethically (I've fucked girls from /soc/).

You just remind me of the most butthurt kind of asian dude unfortunately. I hope it's mostly joking though.

>>7265702
I care because Stormy's actually really nice.
I wish she could see what a shit you really are.

>>7264884
>Are you sure this isn't jealousy speaking?

No, I was the one who stopped dating him. We had very little in common and his maturity level was pretty low.

>>7260990
anon
are you me?
we should have a drink

>>7260991
Just cause you couldnt work it out doesn't mean someone else cant. Don't discourage people.

>>7260991
I've done LDR too, I'm married to the guy now.
Quit being a pessimistic asshole.

I've always thought trying to find a date on cons would be hopeless because I'm mixed race black and white and people on cons are much more obsessed with asians and pale skin.
Thankfully during my last con I met someone I ended up having a great time with. We are going to our next con together in a couple weeks.

>>7264869
Fine.
In no way am I directing this at you or saying this is your fault, but here goes.

My father left my mother when I was 15. We were told that he had doubts from 20 years ago, before I was even born. It wasn't fun being told that I couldn't spend the weekend where I wanted because it was his turn to have me. I hardly ever had friends over.
I should mention now that I'm the youngest of 3 boys, so I never got much attention compared to my brothers, especially with a father who didn't want to be there. There was also another woman, who is now his fiance.

I feel I've had opportunities to lose my virginity and I'm certainly not impotent, I just can't handle it. Knowing I'm an emotional sack of crap doesn't help me in this case.

>>7266395
Why don't you just man up? Women don't find this attractive.

>>7266398
You know, I just have nothing to say, because now that I think about, you didn't really say anything either.
I am who I am. Most women won't like it, as you say, but maybe I can find one who does.

>>7266408
Maybe you will cure cancer.

>>7266409
You talk like my parent's divorce is my entire personality. I do have other things going on, and I also know how to keep a conversation going.

>>7260715
what? context pls

>>7265027

Honestly, I get laid way more than hot programmer.
This really benefits me more than him, since lades love the v.

> captcha: discuss orgying

>>7260768
I don't know if saying you have issues is a good idea, you can hint at it sure but i think an important thing is keeping both parties on the same level

>>7266420
As a woman I can vouch for the fact that I wouldn't give a shit if a man was upset about his previous experiences, as long as they didn't make up his entire life constantly.

>>7264866
>Is the reputation spreading? Are we going to see the "slutty cosplayer" stereotype go mainstream?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QIxn5FmYeDg

>>7272040
>13 hour bump

>>7264880
"girls" vs "men"

>>7261160
this,

retarded thread. some people are always trying to hook up no matter where they go... women get hit on at work, at school, at the gym, shit, even at the fucking grocery store

if cons werent your only social outlet, you would have realized this by now.. take it in stride and handle it just like you would anywhere else.

Special snowflake here.

I actually like virgin guys and all my boyfriends have been virgins. I plan on marrying a guy whose virginity I take.

>>7272063
Are you a virgin yourself? Who are you to judge when you aren't one?

>>7272067
No I'm not one.
I can judge because I'm good looking and I can afford to be picky and the world isn't fair.

>>7272069
/cgl/ sure has the most lovely women

>meet nice girl
>become friends
>always tries to do some gay experimental shit

Why can't girls just be friends anymore

>>7272069
I'm a virgin. Where are you based?

>>7260955
Sophie is that you?

>>7272070
All real charmers for sure
Gee I wonder how many divorces they'll end up having when their boytoys get tired of their shit

>>7272081
Sounds like you're being friends with the wrong girls. Not all gay people want to get with anything that moves. In a lesbian and have plenty of female friends I don't want to screw

>>7272118
I think she is trying to imply that she is so irresistibly hot that ALL the girls (gay or straight) just want to get with her.
Ego stroking is fun

Bitches, pay attention because I'm not going to repeat myself.
I go to conventions to hook up. Primarily, I'm there for my cosplay, but I am constantly on the lookout for potential partners.
Why?
Because I'm here to fuck and chew bubblegum. And I'm all out of gum.
At no other events can I hope to find such an array to exotically dressed women. And with that includes a certain mentality.
To elaborate, there has been a significant rise in the number of effeminate men in recent years. You know the ones - those skinny-jean wearing, top-button done up, frappacino-drinking, sensitivity-indoctrinated mother fuckers. They have been contaminating the breeding pool with their corrupted ideology and pathetically misguided attempts at flirting.
They have, unfortunately infested the convention scene to the extent that now, if I were to approach one of you with conviction and sexual confidence, you'd run in the opposite direction screaming pervert or sex offender or some such bullshit.
And don't you dare start parading the notions of romance and relationships.
Human beings have been conditioned though millenia of evolutionary survival to fuck as much a possible. To procreate and keep the species going. All of that rubbish about "Oh, there's only 1 true love out there for me" is just to get us to marry, have kids and keep the economy going. Marriage is just the keystone to economics.
I make my intentions plain upon meeting, and upon the first signs of disinterest, psychological games or passive-aggressive behaviour, I'll drop you like a sack of potatoes and move onto the next one. For no matter how pretty daddy told you you might look, there's somebody better. Don't shy away from it, because it's a fact of nature.
If you don't want to be alone, then maybe you should try raising your standards before you wind up 30 years old, divorced with 2 kids and fat.

>>7272138
*tips fedora*

>>7272135
Are you trying to imply straight girls are a thing?

>>7272147
>>7272138
Back to the sewers you came from

>>7272147
Uhhhhh.... No one can be this pathetic

>>7272153
>>7272155
>Yeah I'm straight but I'd fool around with a girl maybe but that doesn't count right?

Who else in here dates more "normalfags" than nerd guys?

I'm thinking about going to some cons with guys like that, what are you experiences taking an average non-nerd guy to a con?

It shouldn't baffle me even a little how this has descended in to either convincing trolling or revealing how socially awkward seagulls are but it is enough to get me to respond. This whole across the board shit for males or females is why the biggest whiners using whore/apha are single. They picked a shitty person to be with/get used and now take the opportunity to convince everyone that's how everyone of that sex/relationships are. Pro-tip: Cons still have a wealth of awkward geeks. So, don't be surprised if you wanting to meet a level-headed person is met with lots of dumpster diving. I want to believe some of them try but social success can be the result of multiple failings.

>>7274639

They usually think it's weird and don't want to go, and the few times I've gotten them to go they're just really out of place and don't open their mouths and look like they are in the middle of a gay pride parade.

>>7276890
>Awkward geeks are awful people

My best friends are awkward geeks

>>7278043
I think the point being made is that awkward geeks are difficult people to have a happy, stable relationship with. These are people who don't even really understand or love themselves; how can you expect them to understand and love someone else? Frankly, a lot of the "alpha/beta" sort of thing really reeks of self-loathing, and as long as you have that, I really don't think you can have a good relationship. You don't need an SO at that point, you need a therapist. Trying to get into relationships when you're a broken person and in hopes of the other person being able to "fix" you is incredibly selfish, and most people won't put up with that shit.

But hey, maybe that's just me and the way I see things. The person you're replying to came pretty close to nailing how I feel about the whole thing, except I put myself in that situation because of said self-loathing. Of course, now it's sort of backfired in that I got over my self-loathing by accepting the sort of person I was and turning it into a list of things I needed to atone for and/or fix. Now I expect that sort of thing out of everyone else too, which I can never seem to find. Cuts both ways I guess.

/ramble