/cgl/ - Cosplay & EGL

>>7230889

I would write something about "Don't tie your self esteem to others" or "You should be happy for her!" or shit like that, but to be honest, I'd feel bad too. I'm not a good person and a bad friend I guess. :(

>>7230906
Oh I'm super happy for her, but one of the last times I spoke with her before losing contact, she was starting to lose weight, and I was doing the same, though I was smaller than her at the time we'd talk about it a little and stuff.
I've made zero progress in two years and she's being perfect. *sigh*

>be at Uni
>no friends
>have these two girls at my tutorium which seem to have similar interests as me, too shy to speak to them

>fast forward, one day I was buying some books and the latest Sailor Moon issue (not into anime anymore, but for nostalgic reasons)
>see two girls from my tutorium buying some books/mangas as well
>overhear them talking about some series I still like too
>this is the perfect opportunity to finally talkk to them

>I walk past by
>they don't notice me
>I run to the checkout
>I flee from the store
>5 minutes later I sit in the subway realising what I did
>go home, cry

>mfw I missed the perfect opportunity to make friends
>mfw I realise I'm a complete idiot

Honestly, I don't even know when I became that socially incapable

>>7230908

I know tht feeling too... Damn, right now I was about to tand up and stuff some junk food in my face.

>Tfw your friend is an OTT sweet lolita and you're classic and she suggests chocomint stars when you're asking the comm for co-ord ideas.

>be me
>be male
>walking around at con in cosplay
>girl and her friend in lolita ask to take my photo
>snap snap
>ask what brand she's wearing
>AP
>complement her nice print and ask where she got it
>say "well it doesn't look like it's from Milanoo"
>hearty laughs and end up hanging out with them
>tfw /cgl/ helped me score

>>7231019
>"well it doesn't look like it's from Milanoo"

Yea, you made this story up. That line isn't funny. Of course it doesnt look like milanoo you idiot, it's fucking brand. How is that a joke?

"HEY I LIKE YOUR PRADA BAG. AT LEAST IT DOESNT LOOK LIKE ITS FROM WALMART LOL"

no

>>7231038

Well you sound like a joy to be around.

BREAKING THE ICE WITH JOKES? NOT ON MY WATCH MOTHERFUCKER. I NEED MY HUMOUR TO BE COMPLETELY ACCURATE

Fuck.

I have a good feel and a bad feel. Let's start with the less interesting one.
>Used to be a fatty-chan.
>Lost weight, now have a 72 cm waist.
>At a meet recently
>Talking with some other lolis
>One of them mentions how they want to lose weight
>"I wish I had a 72 centimeter waist."
>"Yeah, me, too."
>"Me, too."
>All the girls agree, even though they aren't fat at all.
>I am the smallest person there.
>This has never happened to me before.
>I feel silent pride well up in me.
The other one:
>Go to meet a while back
>A girl I've seen around the web is going
>I'm excited to meet her, because she's super cute and fashionable
>Barely work up the courage to talk to her, have a short but decent conversation
>Talking to some loli friends later
>Bring up how cute that girl is
>Girl apparently loves drama and has spread rumors about members of the comm
>Have avoided her since
>I am disappoint

>>7231054
>implying what you said (if that even happened) qualifies as a joke

>>7230981

Those cheap shiney plasticy pieces of rubbish that everyone puts on every coord. Urrgh.

>>7230908
I know that feeling of a friend losing weight faster than you. But it's okay, be happy for her and work hard, anon.
I'm doing yoga at least three to four times a week and it does work

Here's mine :
>tfw your room mate does a one day side job to make $200 for rent. You needed money too.
>"oh sorry anon, they did need another girl but I didn't want to disturb you in your room "

I was home all day. I made coffee while she was getting ready to leave. You fucking bitch

are you me?
>have no female friends
>just want to talk about jfashion all day and dress eachother up in different styles
>social anxiety through the roof, been bullied horribly last time I tried to make friends
>convince self to attend lolita meetup
>anxiety attack, absolutely convinced these girls are going to complain about me on cgl for being socially awkward
>ended up making myself worry so much I leave meetup early and go home and throw up because I made myself physically ill from worry
>week later
>photo of me from that meetup ends up in an Ita thread because my coord was too plain. (I prefer plain coords, they focus more on the dress itself)
>anons say "oh my god she tried too hard to talk to everybody, ugh, she makes brand look bland too, she was so awkward"
>never attend meetup again

I will never make a lolita friend and I will just have to accept that. I'm just too scared.

>>7230926
>>7231136

It's not original but here's some fattie feels:
>made a huge life decision to lose weight back in May
>reached my highest weight ever which was something like 245 ish~
>checked my weight the other day and I'm 198
>tfw I haven't been under 200 pounds since I did cross country in high school; six years ago
>tfw all the guys who rejected me and pushed me away are noticing me (no fuck these assholes)
>tfw apologizing and letting old friends who frankly used to subtly put me down for my weight back into my life, with caution
>tfw can finally consider wearing my hoard of desirable brand publicly without being chastised for "ruining burando"
>tfw I feel in control
>tfw feeling more free everyday

I mean, shit, I've almost lost fifty pounds so far. And all I need is about another 50 or so to go. I would have NEVER thought I'd be able to accomplish this in a million years and now it might actually be possible.

>>7231136
Aww, that sucks, Anon!
Those girls sound awful, anyway. You probably dodged a bullet not getting involved in the comm.

>>7231136
Where do you live! I want to be your friend!

>boyfriend says he's into maturity and wouldn't want to date someone who wears girly/childish clothes
>probably wouldn't like lolita, otome or fairy kei
My heart. ;_;

>>7231159
If he really loves you, he won't care. Go for it.

>>7231136
What a bunch of salty cunts! If you're comfortable with it, I'll be your long distance jfash friend! I'm really only into lolita, but I have knowledge of other styles and don't mind chatting about them. It's not quite the same as having a RL bestie, but the offer is there if you want it :)
[to avoid this derailing into a friend finder thread, I'm going to ask that you please email me if this is something you'd be interested in and not continue the conversation here]

>>7231150
Fuck yeah, good for you! Keep it up, you're the fucking boss.

>>7231136
Oh my god, >>7230926 poster here. Your story is way more awful than mine! :( I am very sorry that this happened to you!
To be honest, I never even made it to a Lolita meet up because I am pretty sure it would turn out the same way. Also, the next maybe halfway acitve comm is like 3 hours away from me.
I am generally so shy and awkward around groups of new people, they either don't notice me at all or they think I am an arrogant bitch. Wearing fancy clothes does not make it any better, I guess... And if I only think bout tomorrow i could throw up out of anxiety too.

Another thing: Maybe you're just in the wrong comm. Pretty sure mainly drama llama comms would post photos of their meet ups to cgl and bitch about it. Also, they sound like people who are so shitty that you really don't need them in your life.

Just curious, but were you in that comm with the Princess themed meet up where some anon posted like a dozen pictures of the attendants and claimed all of them were itas?

>>7231150

Wow, congratulations! Keeping yourself motivated and losing that much weight- You did a really good job! :)

Just have to add my feels on this:
>>checked my weight the other day and I'm 198
>>tfw all the guys who rejected me and pushed me away are noticing me (no fuck these assholes)

>mfw my boyfriend left me for being fat (I'm 167 cm, 130 pounds)...

>tfw you keep checking the back of your dress because your petticoat is so poofy you're afraid your butt is showing.

>>7231171
Damn, what a cunt. I think you got lucky in the long run.
130 isn't even remotely close to fat...

>>7231158
I shouldn't say because it would out the comm and make unnecessary drama about me.

I just should of known that they would of had their own little tight knit groups and that I would of been the awkward one out anyway.

>tfw I took on too much commission work
>tfw only half done, should have been finished two months ago
>tfw anxiety is keeping me from working on it, but the anxiety is caused by it.

I suck at life.

>tfw getting 2+ packages in one day

>>7231190

>>7230926
No worries man, i use to be this bad. Just read up on how to be social and practice. Everyone loves me everywhere I go now.

>>7231177
>130 isn't even remotely close to fat...

That's what I thought too, haha. Until he came up with things like "Why don't you do sports", "I was really disgusted of you because you ate a second serving of spaghetti" and "I really dislike your legs, especially your thighs. They are so fat, I really hate looking at them."

I mean, even if I know this is stupid, it crushed what little self esteem I had. Now every day, I need to dress in fancy clothes, do my hair and put on a shit ton of make up so I can convince myself "Even if you haven't lost weight, you tried your best. Even if you are ugly and fat, at least your clothes look nice."
It's been half a year since he dumped me, still not over this.

>>7231185

Ha, you are me.
Pick related, sums up my life

>>7231185
I feel your pain. I currently have 100 open orders I need to have ready before Christmas.

>>7231190
> tfw supposed to get a shit-ton of packages this month yet either no tracking or tracking hasn't updated since forever

I seriously feel like maybe my fashion interest is becoming a bit of a problem for me. I live by myself in a three room apartment with quite a lot of storage space, and even so I find that I never have room for all the stuff I buy. I look at these giant piles of things I don't even need or want and get terrible buyer's remorse. I can't think clearly or relax when my environment is messy or crowded, and I have too much stuff for it to not be crowded. Unfortunately, I usually end up trying to calm the anxiety that this gives me by buying more shit I don't need. I'm not nearly at a hoarder level yet or anything, but it's enough that it has an impact on my psychological wellbeing. I'm going to start a clean-out project soon, and try to single out things I don't need/want and donate or sell them. I'm hoping that will also give me a clearer view of what I already have, because as it is now there's enough shit that I will tend to forget about whatever isn't immediately visible when I open the closet. You'd think I'd be happy having lots of clothes, but this excess just makes me nervous and sucks all the joy out of fashion for me. I think I'd be so much happier with a smaller closet filled with things I actually love and wear regularly, but it's so much harder than it should be to make that change.

TL;DR: I have too much shit and it's suffocating me.

>>7231171
Anon you were responding to--just be glad he's out of your life, you sound like you deserve better.

>>7231166
>pic related

>>7231195
Any reading that particularly helped you?

>>7231150
Wow, the fat shaming.. you shouldve been proud to be fat

>>7231213
1/10 for improper ellipsis

>>7231136
OMG, I feel so bad for you. If it's any consolation, I was super shy at my first and only meetup too. I had pictures taken of me, but the photographer didn't upload any of them on the comm FB page after the meet. I probably looked too terrified and my outfit was sorta boring despite being nearly all brand. I didn't make any friends like I wanted to either. I'll be your friend if you want! Please send me an email :)

>>7231136
Tip from someone with social anxiety: seeking pity makes it worse. Don't do it. You don't want to get used to it.

>>7231213
Actually I did get quite underhandedly shamed a lot, but that's not made me want to lose weight.

The truth is you lose out and doing a lot of the small things due to inability or stigma, and I wanted to be able to participate in life instead of standing on the sidelines.

>>7231150
Great job! Just keep it up and you'll get rid of that last 50.

>out of town, nice area in CA
>wearing my favorite OP, fantastic dolly
>insane amount of compliments everywhere I go
>at the mall next to my town where everyone is a pleb
>wearing my same favorite OP
>so many people just fucking staring at me
>feel so alienated
>1 solitary "I like your dress"


tfw living in shitty plebtown and not LA where people love alt fashion

>>7231212
If you are aware of your problem you're not a hoarder, and probably won't get to that level.

>>7231196
>"Why don't you do sports", "I was really disgusted of you because you ate a second serving of spaghetti" and "I really dislike your legs, especially your thighs. They are so fat, I really hate looking at them."

omg what an ass. seriously. He better have had a fucking Greek God's body to say that.

>>7231212
Maybe this will sound intrusive, but you should get help for this problem now. My great aunt is a hoarder. She lives alone and owns three houses full of crap. She once yelled at my grandmother for throwing away fast-food garbage. Not to say this is or will ever be you, but you sound like you have the potential to get much worse, and if it comes to that it will be much more difficult to help yourself.

>>7231212
I'm in nearly the exact same situation, especially the part about all the stuff making you stressed because it's so messy and crowded. I've tried selling half my closet but ended up buying almost all of it back, twice! So then I bought a dressform and tried justifying all the items I own by changing up my display every few days to showcase a particular piece. It's not helping, though. It just makes me realize I like looking at my things but I'm still don't wear 90% of my wardrobe. Part of it is a self-confidence issue as well. I don't feel like myself when I get dressed up in most of these items... I love creating coords but not wearing them myself. I've thought about progrmaming a lolita dollmaker with brand pieces during winter break because I believe I'd enjoy playing with that over playing with my dresses IRL.

>>7231285
That's not true. My mother is aware she's a hoarder yet her house keeps getting worse and worse. Just because you're aware of your problem doesn't mean you can fix it. Actually, I'm >>7231305 so maybe my mom is influencing me more than I realized.

>>7231038
I think he probably said it like "Dayum, I love that dress? What brand is it? It don't look like no Milanoo shit, that's for sure, gurl!"

Like that. Idk maybe it's just because my friends make jokes like that too.

>>7231255
Good for you!

>>7231305
Why not get into making doll clothes? Then you can play dress up with real clothes but it's not as expensive.

>>7231212
This is me.. I love buying new clothes, I have so many clothes and some I don't even wear but I don't want to get rid of them because they're so cute and then I just buy more stuff because I can't resist buying cute things..

>>7231196
You do know that he was doing that to kill your self esteem so he could control you, right.

This isn't anything big, but I felt bad after our meetup the other day. I feel like half of our comm is really well dressed girls, and the other half are kinda weeby and don't even wear lolita to the meets. Everyone is really nice and we all get along well, but at the same time, I find that as we sit and talk, the group is split down the middle, weebs/itas at one end discussing tumblr and singing; and then the rest of the group actually wearing lolita, discussing lolita. I just don't want us to come off as the snotty niche to these girls, but I really don't want to talk about homestuck or such doge.

>>7231462
But the girls that would think that of you probably already do, no fault of your own.

>Used to be 210lbs. Finally down to my highest weight in high school. Lost 60lbs sofar.
>Things I bought when I first started wearing lolita (180lbs) used to be extremely tight, all now fit well.
>Blouses I bought too small (measurements on the site were wrong, but kept them anyway) can actually fucking button when they were nowhere near closing.
>Can almost fit in partial shirring.
>Lift: feel really fucking strong now.
>Still feel huge.

Also.
>Social anxiety. Not as bad as it used to be. But I always say stupid shit. If it doesn't come out a jumbled mess, it's just stupid.
>After every meetup: Beat myself up over everything I said or did, or do didn't do.
>Everyone must hate me. They don't seem to but I still think it anyway.

>>7231343
That's a good idea. I should learn how to sew. Burando prints are really addictive to me though.

>tfw most of my free time is spent here
>tfw becoming judgmental bitch, especially about self
>tfw realize turning off the computer would likely increase enjoyment of the fashion exponentially
>tfw can't

>>7231195
>>7231210
Seconding this, I'd love to find a good help book about socializing, but most of what I've skimmed so far haven't been all that great.

>be fat
>where the fuck do I find a nice blouse and cardigan in this size

>>7231196
Can I ask where you are from? Just curious. And it's absolutely disgusting that he'd talk to you like that, but you need to recognize that even if you were 90 pounds, he probably would have done the exact same thing. Maybe not weight, but he would have found something else to make you feel bad about to keep you under control. My first boyfriend did this to me because he felt I was too pretty and got too much attention elsewhere. It took me a long time to get over it. I'm sure you're in no way fat and are a beautiful girl, and you shouldn't let some asshole's rudeness keep you down.

>>7231490
>that fucking feel when being on this website has made you a more horrible person without really realizing it
>that feel when your kohai said that you're secretly really mean under that cute appearance when you made that comment about Biology not being a real science

FUCK.

>>7231286
Even if he had a fucking Greek God's body, he shouldn't say that.

>>7231517
How fat? MAM's lovely line has blouses that fit busts and waists over 100 cm.

>>7231586
How is biology not real science?

>>7231602
I have a few Meta blouses and some stuff by Baby (boleros, etc) that fit over 100cm, but it's relatively close to that measurement. If you're bigger than that, I'd say going with MAM or getting something custom-made. You can also alter existing cardigans.

>>7231159
>Tell boyfriend that you're not into boys who can't accept others for their visual appearance
>Real men accept and support people for all of their likes and preferences and that's real maturity.

>>7231281
>Only in this fashion for the attention

>>7231171
I'm taller and weigh the same and people still call me fat except my boyfriend he tells me the exact opposite.
That's absolutely horrible your boyfriend left you for being a healthy weight anon. I hope you are happy.

>>7231171
>167cm
>130lbs

What are you doing

>be me 130 pounds 5'8 loves MM,VM and Moi Meme Moitie does not own any as I'm afraid it'll be too small (so far blouses are the only thing I have had problems with).
>Have body issues and low self esteem, even though I weigh less than when I was in Grade 7, people still make comments.
>Lolita makes me feel beautiful and I forget about my body when wearing it. But I'm afraid I might be considered an ugly fatty chan.
>Have desire to lose more weight, be 15 pounds lighter and to fit into mmm, mm and Vm as one of my goals but my psychologist and partner tells me otherwise, that I don't eat enough.
>I'm so confused and feel like I'm so much uglier than all the other lolitas.

>Tfw trying to wear a petticoat while handicrapped
>Tfw haven't found the right balance between having a limp skirt or being smothered in my own floof

>>7231190
That's my favorite shit ever.

>>7231826
Firstly, you're not fat. I weigh the same and am two inches shorter and wear and own loads of VM/MM.

Have you seen MMM lately? There's shirring everywhere! And VM/MM blouses are very hard to fit because you have to be way under the measurements for the buttons not to gape. Some VM/MM items will fit you bit it'll be a crapshoot and you might not want to take the monetary gamble. Even if you lose 15 pounds, your height might be the limiting factor, not your measurements. Try Millefleurs or Excentrique for more flexible sizing.

>be afflicted with capricious gastrointestinal disease
>rely on flare ups of disease and accompanied constant shitting to maintain weight
>have good spell of no stomach problems for months
>commence eating all the things and packing on the pounds, dresses getting tighter
>realize I might have to diet and exercise
>this is harder than I expected

>>7231826
>>7231866

Weight doesn't matter but measurements do. I literally only weigh about 5-10 pounds lighter and am significantly shorter (5'2 welp) yet can fit AP's smaller stuff (albeit kinda tight)
Not saying anyone is fat here of course, 130 for 5'6 or 5'8 sounds fine to me? But like I said, it kinda just matters where your weight distribution is tbh.

>tfw barely 1m60 for over 65kg.
>eveything goes on my tights
>wear heels and long dress for slimming effect
>everybody think I'm size 36EU but I'm really 42-44 EU for jeans
>fit in old school lolita, petti hide my fat ass
>everybody keep saying how cute and slim I am
>used to be bullied because of my weight

I have to say that even with a really healty eating habit (I'm not dieting, but I don't eat meat, nor candies, but a lot of vegetable and drink at least 1l of tea/day), I didn't loose wait at all, and I've some health condition which makes it difficult for me to excercise.
So just wearing something cute, elegant and feminine really help me with confidence !

Yesterday I found out that I can't fit into a lot of stuff I'd like to. Honestly I can't fit brand and replicas. It's crushed me but it's given me more drive to lose weight.

I'll be honest with my measurements (56cm bust and 52cm waist) so I've got a lot to work with. I'm going to join the Y this week and start to eat better. I've already cut out soda from my diet and I've lost a few pounds from it but I know I've got to keep working.

>tfw your bf wouldn't mind dressing in lolita if you do
>tfw you cant fit anything unless its handmade or custom

In the same boat though; any good places that do custom sizing?

>>7231150
i have a similar story though less extreme!
>get on bad anti-depressant last year
>anxiety goes away, still depressed
>gain 30 pounds on extremely short frame
>tired all the time
>grades tank
>start to get double chin
>boyfriend sad because i'm sad and double chin is a turnoff
>finally get on new drug
>grades improve immediately because i can focus again
>moods return to normal
>actually enjoy stuff again holy shit
>start to lose weight in the spring
>weigh self last week
>finally below 130 for the first time in 6 months!
>fit into an AP jsk with 1/4 shirring
>old stuff that didn't fit me well at all a few months ago feels much more comfortable now
>shirring feels looser on most of my dresses
>custom made jsk i commissioned this summer now too big on me, i have to tighten the shirring a lot to make it fit right
>holy shit i can fit an M size IW dress with no shirring if i lose like 2 more inches off my waist

things are looking up, anon!

>>7231963
At 56 cm bust and 52 cm waist, you are tiny for most brands. Do you mean inches? Are those flat measurements?

>>7231963
It's not in cm right ? Because the smallest brand skirts are around 62 cm, you would float in it

>>7231970
>>7231974
Wow I meant inches, god I'm tired.

But yeah, inches

>>7231866
Thank you anon but it's hard for me to believe that no matter what anyone says. I know it sounds crazy.

I am glad you own and wear a lot of VM/MM maybe I can too?
Yes, I know there is but I'm still worried. I understand that, I've had some problems with other brand blouses before. May I ask what items fit you/you own anon and your measurements if it isn't too much? I didn't even think of that, I just assumed they'd be longer than say AP. The other issues is that even if I lost 15 pounds, I would then want to lose more. I've never been happy with myself or weight.
Thank you anon. My wardrobe is currently AATP, BTSSB, IW, Meta with a few items with partial shirring but most without or with corset lacing.


>>7231932
Thanks anon. My measurements are Bust 35-37" (Due to the pill at a certain time of month), Waist 27".

>>7232019
I studied abroad in Japan and had access to used lolita stores so I was able to try on things first so that helped me a lot. I was about 90cm bust and 70 cm waist (a little more now).

Dresses with no waistline, that is, no division or seam between the torso and skirt, always look better on taller people. However, since the entire intended torso area is going to be moved up, your ribcage size comes into play. You said you're 35-37inches in the bust and that's going to be the difficult area. 27" waist will work for most dresses.

The dresses that fit me best are OPs since they're cut a little larger for some reason. MM's Antoinette Fleur and Whytealeaf will probably fit you. VM's Classical Doll OP will also look nice on you and is being re-released right now. Be prepared for failure though since only about 50% of VM and MM can fit me personally, and your situation is a bit different.

You have more of an hourglass shape than I do so corset skirts might look nice. I can only wear skirts with shirring if I want to make it through my day. But honestly, if you like the styles, I have found Millefleurs and Excentrique to be much more flattering on my body type and I highly recommend them to playing the will it fit guessing game! You can get a pretty blouse, IW's Juno or other plain skirt with an Excentrique corset vest on top and get a very attractive VM-like look that looks good on everyone.

>>7231519

Thank you very much for your kind words!
I am not sure if he did it to keep me under control. He got really into sports, lost some weight and built muscles, and I think he felt that I was now the "ugly" part of our relationship. I think he made these comments so that HE could feel evenn better about himself by making me feel bad.

>Can I ask where you are from?
I'm from Germany.

>>7231602
~115 cm bust fat, sadly
I've been meaning to lose weight but summer was awful and I did the reverse of that and have been busy with school and work all semester. Even though I work at a grocery store I still have a hard time buying the more healthy food.

>>7232067
Thank you very much anon.
That is a very good way of being able to tell what will fit. I also hope you enjoyed studying abroad. Our measurements are quite similar. I'm not sure of my ribcage measurement I think it's 31".I don't normally wear lolita when my bust size increases.

That is good to know. Both of those are dream dresses of mine, maybe I should try it? Classical Doll is another favourite, I really should consider getting it. Thank you anon I will.

I do like corset skirts in gothic so perhaps they'll suit in classic. Understandable. I will look into both Millefleurs and Excentrique. Thank you very much for the suggestion anon. Do you think I would have a chance with MM's St.Claire Op or any of the VM Rococo Bouquet series? Thank you so much for taking the time to respond to me anon. It has helped a lot.

> nanna is on her death bed, mum is staying with her at hospital 2+ hours away and I don't know when she'll be back
> helping out by holding the fort at home + babysitting
>back out of big meet up that happened on the weekend since family needs to come first
> doing everything around the house, rest of my family isn't pitching in
> feeling really sad when I see the pictures from the meet on facebook, look at the outfit I was going to wear and feel even more upset
> want some time to myself to get dressed up and go out
> can't do it because I'm stuck at home and don't want to let my mum down
> also feeling isolated as fuck - bestie is spending all her time with a new guy (I want it to work out so I won't bother them,) no close lolita friends, can't talk to bf because we had an argument over my nan
> little bro sits and plays hours of tf2, sister does the normal routine of grabbing dinner and running back to her room (I can't remember the last time she ate a meal with us or helped cook/clean), dad just sits on the couch
> only person my family listens to is my mum but I don't want to bother her (she's stressed enough as is)
> if everyone helped I would possibly be able to have a bit of time to myself
> instead I have a closet full of clothes that sits there unused

God, I just want to have some time to myself and to get out of my house. I'd dress up at home but I'm doing house work all day.

I know I have to be there for my family and help out but it would be good if every one pitched in.

>>7232181

Ha, you're pretty much describing how my family would do in your situation, exept I have two more younger siblings that I'd need to babysit too, and my dad works 6 days a week.

Honest advice: Get fucking angry. RAGE. Also, TALK to your family. This helped a lot when I was in a similar situation.

Give everyone a clear task.
Go to your brother, stand in front of the TV, say "Do the dishes.". Grab your sister, look her in the eye and say "Fuck, you're staying here and eat your meal right here. Eat in the kitchen or NO FOOD AT ALL." Go to your dad, say "Dad, I already did housework the whole day, it's your turn to cook know. Brother will do the dishes afterwards." (Bonus points: Tell them "Mom said so". She probably didn't, but they don't need to know right?)
Your mom might be stressed, but I am sure you can still try to talk to her to improve the situation.

Don't just complain and stay silent, DEMAND them to help. I know this isn't easy, but once you do it things will become a lot more easier. Playing the martyr won't help, I'm speaking from experience.

>>7232198

Kind of glad that I'm not the only one in the same boat.

Every time I get angry I just get brushed aside and told to stop being hormonal/irrational.

Talking to them is hard as well. Everyone is reluctant to help and bitches that they're tired from doing x thing or y thing.

Giving people clear task rarely works out. You can't rely on people to get stuff done in a timely fashion or to even do the job well and in the end all the blame gets put on me.

My little brother is just old enough to do shit but no one realises it so he's often left out of chore delegation even when I bring it up.

My big sister is 25 and stays in her room when she isn't at work. Every time she gets given something to do she drags it out or conveniently has to be elsewhere. Eg: 'but I was just about to go out to a party,' 'oh, I'm going to my bfs tonight,' 'but anon, I was just about to take a really long bath so I'll do it later.'

My Dad is pretty incompetent as well but I do feel bad making him do shit after he's been at work all day.

I really want to leave my Mum out of this as much as possible since chances are my family will take anything I've said back to her.

>>7231978
Carry on losing weight before buying some things, your measurements sound a bit on the dangerous side for the waist so work towards being healthy and then reward yourself with stuff that you know will fit afterwards. :)

>>7232235

1/2

>Kind of glad that I'm not the only one in the same boat.

You're never alone. ;)

>Every time I get angry I just get brushed aside and told to stop being hormonal/irrational.

Wow, how nice! But I get a similar reaction too, especially from tennage brothers (12 and 15).

>Talking to them is hard as well. Everyone is reluctant to help and bitches that they're tired from doing x thing or y thing.

Tell them you are tired, too. Don't let yourself get talked down by them. No one wants to do the house work, everyone will always have an excuse for ir, try not to let it pass.

>You can't rely on people to get stuff done in a timely fashion or to even do the job well and in the end all the blame gets put on me.

Stand next to them until they are done. This works for my younger brothers at least. They might consider you to be a bitch but who gives a fuck? (They'll forget about it withing two minutes afterwards anyway.)
And wo blames you? Your family? Tell them to mind their own buisness or do it better.

>My little brother is just old enough to do shit but no one realises it so he's often left out of chore delegation even when I bring it up.

Haha, I get that too! I often hear "Well, I know he's old enough, but he won't do anything anyway. He's a boy."
Maybe you could work together? I don't know if you are on good terms with your brother, but this works for me. Like this: "Please unload the dishwasher." - "Oh why? Can't smeone else do it?" - "Okay bro, I'll do one half and you do the other half, alright?"

>My big sister is 25 and stays in her room when she isn't at work. Every time she gets given something to do she drags it out or conveniently has to be elsewhere.

To be honest, I'm not sure how to deal with this as I myself am the oldest of my siblings. Maybe have a talk about how she should take more responsibility?

>finals

Just had biology an hour ago. I think I did awesome. Math's in four and I'm worrying because I haven't studied as much for it so far.

>>7232235

>My Dad is pretty incompetent as well but I do feel bad making him do shit after he's been at work all day.

Same here,my Dad works all day 6 days a week so I feel bad, too. Well, still, there are some easy tasks he could do, e.g. my father usually cooks, and we clean afterwards or things like that? But to be honest, this is a BIG problem within our family too so I have no solution. :(

>I really want to leave my Mum out of this as much as possible since chances are my family will take anything I've said back to her.

I do not know your circumstances or your mom so I cannot really give advice, it's a complicated situation.
When I was in a similar situation I did leave my Mom out as much as possible, but also tried to include her as much as I could. Sometimes, a simple "Mom, tell them to help me more" might do it. Think about the long term consequences: Rather try to get a little help now then have a breakdown yourself causing even more trouble for everyone.
My mother did go through a lot of trouble, but we were still her family, and still needed her, even if our problems seemed so small compared to her.

>>7232235
I know you feel responsible and don't want to leave your family hanging, but you are babying them and that is why they can get away with doing nothing. Designate tasks for everyone and let them know you will only do your portion. If the rest doesn't get done, well, fuck. Looks like everyone can't have dinner because there are no fucking plates. Oh well.

>girl in my comm is starting nasty rumors about me, being really standoffish and rude, obviously has some issue with me
>privately ask her what's going on
>she says that it's not just her, the whole comm hates me, she's just the only one "with enough balls" to act that way
>tells me to "watch" myself
>spend the next two hours crying, my boyfriend is telling me she's lying to make me feel bad but I don't believe him
>gather up enough composure to message the mods about it, tell them that I feel the only choice I have is to leave the comm if everyone has been complaining about me and I don't even know what I'm doing wrong
>the mods encourage me to stay, say no one has complained about me and that there's nothing wrong with me, ask me where I got that impression
>copy and paste my conversation with her, start to finish
>they try to stay impartial, but do say it seems more like she has a personal issue with me than anyone else. they tell me not to let one person drive me out of the comm if I love the fashion
>also message a few of my other friends in the comm, ask if they knew anything about this
>none of them have any idea what I'm talking about and all say that they think I'm really nice and haven't heard anything otherwise
>I'm relieved, but confused and mad that she would treat me this way
>tfw I thought she and I were friends until she started acting like this
>tfw I was going to surprise her with burando for Christmas/her bday (it falls in december)

I just don't understand what brought on this cuntishness. It's been going on for roughly a month or two now, and before that we were fine, close even. I don't think I did anything to offend her, but obviously something is rubbing her the wrong way. I don't even want to continue the friendship if this is how she acts to her "friends", I just want to know what set it off...

>>7231586
>>7231612

She's probably a physicist/engineer/mathematician.

I'm becoming horrendously bitchy too. Between my breakup, no one quite grasping the situation, and coming here essentially to blow up/look at cute dresses, I feel like I'm becoming the materialistic cunt I always disdained. Sigh.

>Be relatively new to con scene. Finally decide to make a cosplay by myself without friend's help and go all out.
> Cosplay is nice, has sewing flaws but nothing too drastic unless you get up close. However, it's a very big cosplay and stands out.
>Go to con. People compliment me, I get pictures. Shy at first, but slowly start to warm up to people.
>Didn't win contest but won judge's award. Popular male judge tells me to keep entering and he likes my work.
>Older people within my con scene tell others I'm stuck up and I discriminate against people who don't make their cosplay.
>Everytime I go to new con, people avoid me. Not sure why, feel like shit, even when I'm just kind to others.
>Find out the judge's girlfriend got jealous because I won the contest over her and received a compliment from her boyfriend, so she told others and convention staff that I had criticized her for her not making her shoes?
>Everyone in my con community knows eachother
> forever isolated because I didn't slip up and went all out on my "first" cosplay

>>7232368

people will tell you that you're nice when you're not, that happened to me a few years ago. Everyone kept insisting I was nice online but at meets would avoid me.

so I quit coming

>>7232378

>I'm becoming horrendously bitchy too. Between my breakup, no one quite grasping the situation, and coming here essentially to blow up/look at cute dresses, I feel like I'm becoming the materialistic cunt I always disdained. Sigh.

You are me.

>>7232381

Wow, these people sound like really shitty ssholes and honestly, you don't need those people in your life. Try to find better friends who will not act like you're all still in kindergarten.

>>7231196
I will punch him for you

>>7231070
congrats on the weight loss!

>>7231474
they don't hate you. forgive yourself for saying stupid things, because we all do. and congratulations on the weight loss!
>>7232076
that's still pretty disgusting. there shouldn't be an "ugly" person in any relationship. it's about two people making a connection and spending time together and sharing their lives, not being some sort of super-hot power couple or some shit.

>>7232480

>>>7232076
He was 19 and it was his (and my) first relationship, what could I expect of him (hint: Mostly nothing but shit).

>>7232491
You can expect him to be a decent human being.

>tfw the tracking information hasn't updated in 4 days
>tfw you have no idea if you'll be home when it arrives
This is pissing me off.

>>7232494
>You can expect him to be a decent human being.

You are right.
I had just bad luck, I guess. I hope my next relationship will be better, if I ever manage to get one (I'm super shy and awkward, and dressing in Lolita / 'weird' clothing does not help much...)

>>7232305
On the subject of finals
I need to type an essay but it's too cold and my fingers won't move fast enough

>tfw you've spent the last year finally starting to build your wardrobe
>tfw you have to sell it all to survive the next few months due to job cutbacks
Man, fuck...

>>7232506
My condolences, anon.

>>7231070
>implying that 72cm is small

That's about 28 inches, right? That's not a small waist by any means. That's reasonably average. Not hating on you, anon, you probably have a different frame and it might be small on you, but your comm must be full of landwhales.

>>7232076
>He got really into sports, lost some weight and built muscles, and I think he felt that I was now the "ugly" part of our relationship.
My boyfriend has started working out and I'm really paranoid about this happening. I'm skinnyfat and I eat whatever I want, though rarely ever in large amounts. My metabolism is actually really messed up right now, as I've been under-eating for such a long period of time, I've altogether just stopped losing weight from not consuming as much calories as I need a day, and I'll gain like crazy if I eat as much as my body actually needs to sustain itself.
He's never once commented on what I eat or how much I eat, and he always says he doesn't think there's anything wrong with my body, unless I think there is. But I'm afraid that once he gets to a certain point, he'll start viewing me in a different light.

I keep telling myself that if this ever happens, I should just let him go and not bother much with feeling sad over it because -insert empowering statement here- but I know that's not going to stop the feels.
Maybe it'd kick drive something in me to get rid of the extra 10 pounds, but I don't really want boy troubles to be the big life changer for me. And I wouldn't want to give him that sort of satisfaction either.

>>7232502
Warm your hands by resting them on the area where heat escapes your laptop/computer tower and heat them that way.

Do some calisthenics.

Or just do what I do and type while wearing cute arm socks or fingerless gloves. Good luck on your essay, anon.

>>7232393
Thanks for the reassurance...

But I really am nice, or at least I try to be. I've never had issues with anyone, I've never had issues in school or work or other professional establishments where people felt I was anything but compassionate and kind. I'm kind to waitstaff, I don't make off-color jokes... I'm a little bit shy and socially awkward sometimes, but a lot of people in the comm are way worse as far as awkwardness and shyness. If I do make a mistake in something I say or do, I always apologize sincerely for it. I don't understand where this is coming from and I can only think that she is furious with me for some reason and wants to tear me down however she can, because she said a number of other things about specific people who have since denied it or just been plain bewildered about it being seen as such a big issue. I know you don't know me and I can't prove it, but I really do present myself as best I can online and in-person. My worst quality is I try too hard to be funny when I'm nervous, and sometimes my jokes fall flat, but that's nothing for everyone to hate me for? I'm not an ita either, though I'm certainly far from being an amazing lolita. I'm just pretty average and boring all-around, I don't see why she's trying to rally people against me.

>>7232381
Cosplay attracts such bitchy people, I swear. I'm so sorry that happened to you, anon. Don't take it too seriously, just continue being a nice person and try to have fun, make some good friends. Good luck.

Can this also be a cosplay feels thread?

If not, here's my lolita feel:
>not too into lolita myself but best friend loves it and would like to dress up with her
>she acts excited but always chooses co-ords that even I can tell will make me look semi-ita compared to what she's wearing
>talking bad accessories and shoes, no blouse, frumpy cardigans
>try to look through her things for something else, politely asking if she thinks something that clearly works better would be okay in her opinion
>she rolls her eyes and acts huffy if I go against her initial suggestions
>posts only photos of me from bad angles and in colors that don't flatter my skin tone while she looks sugary and cute

Welp. I wish I owned a couple dresses, something a little more casual or classic to wear around from time to time, but I can't talk myself into spending the money just yet.

>>7232534
>posts only photos of me from bad angles and in colors that don't flatter my skin tone while she looks sugary and cute
Wow, no. Drop your "best" friend like a hot fucking potato, girl. She's a cunt. Either both of you should look good together or not at all.

>start getting into lolita thanks to spending time on /cgl/
>buy a few pieces
>feel like a pretty princess and want to buy more, except I know it would be a poor decision
>want to join local comm which apparently is full of super nice girls, but keep making excuses to myself
> e.g. I don't have time, I can't even put a co-ord together, I don't even have a winter coat...blah blah blah. and it goes back again to having to limit my spending
>would be able to find the money maybe, except Christmas is coming
>have to work less to keep up with school
>can't manage to keep up anyway
>depression has been really bad lately
>physical symptoms, constant headaches, either can't eat or horrible food cravings, mood swings
>speaking of food and cravings, I am most certainly gaining weight
>lost a bunch of weight after going to a martial arts club but I feel really awkward and self conscious so I can no longer force myself to attend regularly
>school counselors are too busy to help, medication doesn't work for shit and my psychiatrist retired a month ago
>13 year old cat is incredibly sick
>any money I'm about to save will be just so I have enough to have her put down at home where she's comfortable and happy instead of the vet's office
>start avoiding friends because I can't even pretend to be happy in their presence and I don't want to burden them
>maybe if I actually got off my ass and started doing schoolwork and martial arts and seeing my friends again and joined the comm, it would make me feel better
>except I can't get myself out of bed.

Individually, I might be able to work through any one of these. Except it's all piled up together. The worst part is that I feel bad but so much of it is basically created by me. I have perfect opportunities to make friends, but I just run away and avoid them, I could be doing work, but I'm not. I just can't bring myself to do anything anymore.

>>7232528
Honestly, I would just ignore it. Stop talking to her without being rude about it, just don't initiate contact anymore. Try to forge stronger friendships with others in your comm instead. If she keeps it up, talk to her directly. Just say you're not sure what has her upset with you and that you would like for it to no longer be an issue. And if being polite doesn't work, bust some teeth.

>>7232535
I think about it sometimes, but she genuinely is a really great person in every other arena, and when it's normal photos or cosplay ones, she's definitely not that way. I think she only does it in lolita because she's got some hang up about not being ultra thin and tiny, so even though I'm taller and look kind of doofy towering over her, I'm still leaner and have less pronounced facial features, and I think it makes her feel bad? Idk. She gets a lot of joy from these dresses, and as much as I'd like to share it with her or call her out for acting like this, it's not worth ruining her happiness/our friendship over one nasty habit.

>>7232537
I'm going through some similar emotions right now, anon. Just try to take things one step at a time and not think of all of these things at once. Make sure to take at least twenty minutes a day to do something you really love, and at least an hour doing something you've been putting off. It will be hard at first, but you'll start accomplishing things and feeling better slowly.

>>7232067
Just popping in to say that OPs probably seem larger because they have a lot more ease (extra room for movement) in the bust than JSKs, since JSKs need to fit tight over the chest so they don't gape or fall off. That's why they seem bigger, and are probably a better bet if you have a large bust/ribcage.

>>7232537
I'm sorry, anon. I know what it's like to deal with clinical depression and also have real issues pile up on you at the same time. It's very discouraging. What I do is try to find a hobby that can take my mind off of it, even let myself get a little obsessive if it helps. Like with a new MMO, or sewing, or reading a new series of books. Try not to beat yourself up too much. If it were as easy as just "bringing yourself" to do things you need to, you wouldn't be suffering from depression. We have to work extra hard to motivate ourselves sometimes when we're in a dark place, and there's no shame in that. The only shame, is that so few people understand. Good luck anon, you can get through this.

>>7232526
It kind of depends what the rest of your body looks like, as well as what you're wearing. I have a tiny bust and really skinny legs, and people assume my waist must be small because the rest of me is. It's 28" but most people are surprised and think it's 25"-26". Lolita really emphasizes a small waist, anyway.

>>7232091
I'm very happy I could help! If you're buying secondhand, ask the seller for the dress's ribcage measurement and the length of the torso.

It's odd that OPs would be larger than JSKs since with the latter you're supposed to have room for blouses underneath, but it seems I will never really understand the motives of Japanese brands, hah!

I've never tried on St. Claire so I'm not sure. The official measurements are 88/66 so I've avoided it even though I've heard it runs larger. Generally if the bust is 90 it should be ok, 88 means no. Longer length dresses also tend to be bigger. I try to get dresses around 95cm or longer.

Rococo Bouquet uses a million cuts so it really would depend on the dress. This one would probably fit - VM uses this cut often
http://lolibrary.org/apparel/rococo-bouquet-ribbon-dress

This one would not
http://lolibrary.org/apparel/rococo-bouquet-yoke-op

I tried this one on and was sure it would work since it had shirring, but it looked really terrible (why front shirring VM?)
http://lolibrary.org/apparel/rococo-bouquet-elegant-jsk

Pic related it a Millefleurs dress that has comparatively larger sizing and I would love to own.

>>7232525

Don't try to lose weight for others! Set your boundaries, like telling him you appreciate his efforts and that you like how his body looks know, but that you're not trying to lose weight yourself / have other priorities. Maybe there are things you could enjoy together about his new hobby, like cooking a nice low carb/whatever meal or doing a certain sport together. If he's not satisfied with that, well, it's time to break up, since you're certainly going into different directions in life. Trust me, rather go earlier than dragging your relationship through a few shitty month that will be bad and only get worse.

But really: I would not worry too much. From what he's saying (it's quite the opposite of what mine said to me, haha!) your boyfriend sounds like he's still a nice and gentle person.

>tfw body issues have reached maximum levels and then some
>tfw it is influencing your depression big time
>tfw it is a vicious cycle and both things just make each other worse

I never feel pretty or cute enough for lolita or any kind of fashion really. Because of that I do this thing were I and go eat everything in sight that even remotely bad for my health because I'll never be skinny or pretty. Then a few days/weeks later I'll feel really bad and stop eating almost completely. But now I don't fit properly into some of my dresses anymore I just feel like not eating ever again.

I used to be very active and go to the gym 2/3 times a week but depression isn't really helping me getting of my ass and doing shit again. My rooms a mess and I haven't done anything uni related in long time, my minor, dunno if this is actually a proper term but we use it in The Netherlands, in neuroscience had me feeling great for a while but now I'm back to normal criminology stuff I feel like meh even though I cannot imagine doing something else.

tl;dr I feel like shit

>>7232525
>I'm skinnyfat
>I eat whatever I want
>I'll gain like crazy if I eat as much as my body actually needs to sustain itself.
That's not how shit works. You gain weight because you eat too fucking much and don't exercise. Why the hell don't you work out or eat healthily? Are you really that lazy? That even the fear you have of your bf leaving you over it can't convince you to start? Christ, girl. You don't even care.

You don't deserve him at all, and I hope he breaks up with you first.


By the way, working out isn't only to lose weight, it's also to gain muscle, definition, strength, and endurance.

>>7231490
>>7231586
I have this same problem. I'm really addicted to the drama and gossip of /cgl/, and I'd like to think it's making me a better Lolita, but holy shit. There is literally no thread on here that I think is genuinely full of nice people. Even this thread. I realize it's probably just the mean coming out because of anonymous image board, but goddamn. I feel like I'm stewing in this atmosphere, and it's such a double-edged sword. /Cgl/ keeps me up to date on everything, and makes me learn about the fashion some more to develop opinions, but it's getting hard to be able to consciously filter out all of the mess that you have to read through in order to get that information, ya dig?

>tfw no qt gf

>>7232525
>not consuming as much calories as I need a day, and I'll gain like crazy if I eat as much as my body actually needs to sustain itself.
That's really, really not how it works. If you suddenly switched to a healthy lifestyle - healthy food in the correct portions and regular exercise - you might have a small gain in weight if your calorific intake did increase, but your hormones would eventually balance out and it would be completely negligible compared to the fitness and fat loss you would eventually get. Even if you don't feel like changing your diet, I would recommend taking up regular exercise (~1 hour a day) or you'll regret it in a few years.

>>7232783
There is something strangely fascinating about that gif. Also.

> tfw no qt bf
> (who I can dress up with)

>>7230889
tfw no qt bf to cuddle with

>>7232738
Different anon, but I'm also skinnyfat. I eat well (I'm vegan -- my diet consists largely of vegetables, rice, hummus, peanut butter, and quinoa) and I excercise (3-4 times a week, usually). I do not know why I am skinnyfat. Most of my family is really squishy, too, but they're also obese.

>>7232506
bills before frills, girl. i'm sorry about the cutbacks and i know that feel.

>>7231213

You must be joking right?
If she wants to lose weight because its the right and healthy thing to do don't sit there and go "hurr mah fat pride"

>>7231150

Great job! Keep it up girl, I've been there when I was in middle school. I was 5'3 and 170 pounds. I got tired of being so fat so I took aerobics and track as my electives that year and kept all the good habits they taught me.

I believe in you Anon!!

>>7232793
Anon, I too used to be vegan and skinny fat. From personal experience, I simply was not getting enough calories. Even though it seems like you're eating enough, because you're not hungry, your body is probably in starvation mode, and holding on to that weight.

>>7232821
and by weight, I mean fat.

>>7232555
I really do appreciate it anon. Thank you for the advice I shall.

Haha, it is very strange but it's good to know that there are options.

Okay, that is good to know. I shall follow that guide. That's another handy hint, thank you anon. I normally go for longer dresses too due to my height.

I know understand the differences and what I should look out for.

That's a shame it didn't suit. Do you own anything from the Rococo Bouquet series?

What an absolutely gorgeous dress.

>>7231038
I really like the example you gave lool

>tfl finally get my dream dress.
>try my best to make a lovely cord with it
>proud as fuck of how I've achieved to look and feel pretty for once in my life
>go out wearing loli
>live in a semi-large city but people are still backwards as fuck
>ppl start making negative remarks about my appearence and asking mocking questions when it's really none of their fucking business
>bunch of young ppl start yelling nasty things, try to ignore
>they start to follow me and non-lolita friends as they continue to yell, I keep ignoring
>mfw they throw some of the burgers and a coke they're carrying at me and laugh their retarded asses off
>friends ask me to not wear lolita again when hanging out with them
>dress is ruined, can't get rid of stains without the print fading
>go home to cry my eyes out and decide to never wear lolita in public again, just wear at cons or at home

fml, I'm so tired of where I live. Everytime I read you guys talk about how you recieve compliments I wonder what distant realm are you from.

>>7233614
>>mfw they throw some of the burgers and a coke they're carrying at me and laugh their retarded asses off

I would've called the police the second they started harassing you. Bad enough to harass someone verbally, worse yet to damage their property and make them feel threatened.
Also, your friends are douches for not choking the fucks who did it. Sounds like you just need to live in a place with non-backwards people.

>>7233614
>Punch your friends in the throat
>Leave forever
>Be kawaii whenever you fucking want

>tfw the two dramamongering lolitas in my local comm finally left after they were called out on their behavior
>tfw our community can finally go back to the nice, calm way it was before

>tfw you finally decide to fork over that $2.50 for a single macaron
>tfw it tastes just like the ugly ones you make at home

fuck. mine are just hollow and footless.

>>7233614
What dress is it?

>>7233614
Ugh, I'm really sorry that happened to you. Where do you live, anon?

>>7233848
I can't stop laughing because I know this feeling. I haven't had a macaroon that wasn't way too sweet or way too stale/dry.

>>7233614
>I would've called the police the second they started harassing you. Bad enough to harass someone verbally, worse yet to damage their property and make them feel threatened.
>Also, your friends are douches for not choking the fucks who did it. Sounds like you just need to live in a place with non-backwards people

This.

>Also, your friends are douches for not choking the fucks who did it

Yep.
Seems like you've got shitty people all around you, anon. I could understand that your friends might not be comfortable with the attention that your Lolita ouftit draws in general, but if their reaction is not "Yell at the guys for bing shitty, maybe call the police" but rather "Hey Anon please never wear Lolita again", hm...
It's understandable they do not want to draw attention to them, if your town is that shitty but from your post they rather sound like that kind of people who say "Uhm, please don't wear a mini skirt to the disco or we will all get raped".

>Everytime I read you guys talk about how you recieve compliments I wonder what distant realm are you from

Hahaha I wonder too, I only get weird stares and the silent treatment. I guess at least no one assaults me.
Where are you from?

>>7233789
I kind of understand my friends asking me not to dress lolita, they got harassed because of my fault.
>>7233851
Vampire requiem in white.
>>7233856
Spain.

>>7233614
Have you tried taking it to a good dry cleaner?

>tfw i had best friends in high school
>they all metamorphosed into enormous SJWs and started lecturing me on wimmin and privilege
>I got into a fight with them
>they all remained friends and I was all alone
>they're still massive sjws
>I still miss them
>tfw will never have friends like them again in my life

>>7233864
My friends are very shy girls, they don't even stick up for themselves the poor dears. They just tend to duck their heads and ignore comments.
They've put up with me drawing attention before, since I'm a foreigner and much taller and paler than the locals. I guess that wearing lolita in a place like this was just asking for it.
It's not fair for me to have to stop wearing it, since I'm doing nothing wrong, but since they're not going to stop insulting me I'll have to be the one who stops giving them excuses to do so.

PS: Sorry for le horrible engrish

>>7233869
I'm not sure if it's worth it. The drink they tossed made the print on the back of it run into the white. Can they fix that at a dry cleaner?

>>7233865
It's not your fault. You shouldn't blame yourself.
It's like the rape analogy the anon above brought up. Wearing a skirt won't get you assaulted, it does nothing but be a skirt. Assholes who are mentally fucked in the head will assault you no matter what you wear.

You sound like you need new friends.

>>7233500
No I don't have any Rococo Bouquet! I like it but not enough to buy it.

4 years ago
>have best friend, tiny perfect lolita
>saves all her money for clothes, some efame etc.
>enter me, 180lbs 5'2
>spend all day erry day on computer fleeing from life and wishing I was someone else
>over a period of time I realize shit isn't going to get better unless I do something
>lose weight, now 102lbs, fitting in to my dream pieces

>friend had high metabolism in high school
>inherited her massive mom's eating habits, always has a candy bar on her
>metabolism slows, friend is getting pudgy
>now 200lbs and growing

It's a weird kind of feel. It happened so fast, not just the weight gain but also her change in attitude. Suddenly whenever I suggest anything outside the home she's "too tired" and decides to order fast food "since you're visiting". She gets annoyed if I suggest coming to the gym with me or going for a walk. Her wardrobe is gathering dust. I'm afraid she's just running away from her shame or something like I did.

>>7233901
Naw she never had the metabolism if she got that fat
My mom is forever 56kg and she\s nearly 60yo, was super tiny in high school
Same for me, we're both skinnyfat I suppose

>>7233614
honestly, the compliments to harassment ratio depends on how many other people you're with, i've noticed. a lone person is bound to get insults because it's one weirdo going outside the expectations. a group, well clearly there is a reason for them to be dressed outlandishly.

>>7233901
your friend could have depression issues. it's really cool of you to offer to go to the gym with her or do healthy physical activities, but ultimately there's only so much you can do. she has to make the decision to change, like you did.
congrats on your weight loss, all the same.

>>7233970
I'm a lone lolita and I'm rarely insulted. But I live in a big city and safe place, and mostly go to uni/artsy/geeky places so it doesn't count I guess.

>>7233970

Eh, I often loli alone. I rarely get insults and often get complimented, but again I'm in a larger city like >>7234004 and I dress in toned down classic lolita a lot. As long as I don't run into someone I know I'm weirdly fine.

>>7233870
How old are they? If they are younger than 21 there is still hope that they can realise how stupid tumblr SJ is.

>>7233920
I have pretty high metabolisim myself and have no issues losing weight. But if you're eating 3000+ calories a day, it's going to catch up with you. I was a really skinny kid, at a healthy weight during my teenage years and blew up in college due to depression, eating too much, and sitting online as an escape from the depression and situations that were causing it. Finally back down to a healthy weight again, but yeah. Eating giant portions and lots of shit and not moving will do that to most people.

>mfw my mom is disgusted that I'm wearing secondhand
>"Anon dear, they might have skin diseases"
>mfw I'm pretty fucking sure there are no Japanese people with leprosy mucking around
>mfw she offers to buy me lolita of my choice for Christmas so I stop buying secondhand

I'm honestly not sure how to feel about this. Other than she really cares about me.

>still goes hunting y!auctions for deals

>>7234118
1- if she's that worried, proper drycleaning should take care of any skin residues, though most skin issues require more direct contact, I would think. otherwise your mom sounds kind of crazy.
2- let her buy you new brand for christmas. at least she's willing to.
3- do what you want with your own money.

>>7233865
Necesitas amigos nuevos.

>>7234118
My mom feels the same way about secondhand clothes. Are you Asian?

>>7234171
>1
Ah, thanks for the advice. I never knew dry cleaning got rid of that particular residue.
>2
Planning to do that. If she's willing, then I see no problem
>3
Pretty much. I just won't tell her anymore

Thanks again for the advice. I literally learn something new everyday here haha.

>>7234305

Shit yes. I was about to ask how you know, but then I realised most of my Asian friends are fairly contemptuous of secondhand clothing as well. Must be an Asian thing.

>>7234303
Hello Chocolate Rococo.

>>7231136
oh no :(
Try again. You can do it. Just try to be more confident. Talk to people and show them that you're not that awkward.
If they still say that you 'make brand look bland' then fuck them, they are actually bitches and not worth your time.

>>7234118
Even new clothes have probably been tried on and come into contact with people's skin though. I don't get what the big deal is if you wash it.

Bad lolita feels here.
>>dress that I like is coming out soon
>>it's expensive but I will save the money till I can get it
>>release date, need a couple of weeks more to get enough money
>>sold out in less than two days
>>soon after see some hoe selling TWO of the exact same dress on FB, price tag still on and scalping like fuck

I fucking hate when this happens.

>tfw love making accessories for coords (part poorfag, part love of all things crafty)
>tfw too depressed to actually do anything

>tfw loli best friend used to be mature and fun to be around but has slowly become a vapid attention seeker who is posted to cgl and secreted on a regular basis and can't take constructive criticism even from her friends.
>tfw I'm slowly cutting off ties with her because her personality is now genuinely awful. Any time I've tried to tell her my concerns she brushes them aside and then b'awws when she's posted again.
>tfw by being her friend I've been occasionally posted too in group photos.

>>7231586
My family makes fun of me all the time for being a computer science major, "not a REAL engineer" even though at my university, computer science is within the school of engineering. It's getting to me so much that I'm considering switching into computer engineering. Not just for my family, but also for my sanity. Writing code all the time is going to drive me off a cliff.

>>7234620
do it for you, not because your family is a bag of dicks about your career path.

>>7232526
Shut up and let her feel happy for herself. My waist is 27" and I had to lose 15 pounds to get here and I need motivation to keep going.

>>7232555
>comparatively larger sizing
Really? I thought the max bust on that millefleurs dress was 88 cm

>>7234118
>>7234305
>>7234312
LOL my Chinese mom is the same way about secondhand clothes! this is funny

>>7234644
This is so weird though, I work at childcare center at a university, and I promise you, 90% of the clothes the chinese children wear are clearly second hand.

>>7233843
I wish this would happen in my community.

>tfw tiny bird
>tfw I want to an lolita
>tfw dead-end job and poor
>convince myself I can put together a good outfit and keep it cheap
>piece together casual co-ord
>honestly think I did pretty well for having no experience
>show boyfriend
>boyfriend slowly looks me up and down then says,
>"I don't think it would matter if you bought the gaudiest piece of shit from Milanoo or Mr. Yan's lastest hit, if you don't get rid of your fat fucking arms, you will never be pretty."
>fdeh
>go to big gay friend's house
>burn outfit
>never again

I don't know what was most fucked up about that.

sometimes i look at my wardrobe and just want to sell it all and start all over.

>>7234754
You don't say

Because I don't know what was the least true about that

>>7234754
Kill your boyfriend.
Just fucking kill him.
The fact that you did not mention how you dumped his ass is very disconcerting.

>>7234754
bullshit detected

>>7234780
Glad I'm not the only one who feels that way.
>judgmental asshole that insults appearance
>takes enough interest in hobby to know Mr. Yan and Milanoo?

>>7234781
Yeah we broke up.
He's also a trap now.
I think that's why he knew a little about lolita fashion.

>>7234644
Your Chinese mom as opposed to your Japanese mom and Russian mom and German mom?

>>7234898
Lol yeah. Who honestly says that?

>>7234898
was pointing out that my mom thinks the same and is Asian just like the other two anons mentioned; it is an Asian thing. I'm sorry, should I have said "My mother, who is also Asian"? And yes I do actually have a German mom.
>godmother

>>7234794
I clicked the gif expected to see the "I think you should leave now" angry response. This game is amazingly awkward.

>>7234794
I just played this game.

>>7234900
Just poking fun at how you worded it.

>having at least two closely related people to you of different culture
>must be rad as fuck

>>7234898
I knew a girl from middle school who had 4 moms. Or wait no I think it was 4 dads. There was her biological mom, who had (let's call her A) when she was married to Dad #1, but it was because she cheated on him with Dad #2 (biological dad). But her mother was a drug addict and Dad #1 dumped her after A turned 5, so then the mom married Dad #3 and A spent half her time with them, half her time with Dad #2 and his new wife, Mom #2. Then her mom cheated on Dad #3 with Dad#4 and got divorced. Dad #4 had kids with her previous wife, Mom #3, who he was still on good terms with. And when A's mom checked into rehab a few years later, she spend half her time with Dad #4 and Mom #3 and their kids, and Dad #3 and his wife (or maybe it was Dad #2? One of them had drug problems too so left the picture). But then when A's mom got out of rehab, Dad #4 left her for his first wife, Mom #3, and A was stuck living with her mom and occasionally visited one of the first few dads. I think it was something like that.
I never heard from A after highschool. I think she did modeling for a while, don't think she went to college. I wonder what she's doing now. A if you're on this board, sorry. But your parental history is pretty fucking interesting.

>>7234908
Actually it kind of sucks. Not the godmother part, but the multi-cultural part. My mom is Chinese and my dad is German, and there is a lot of conflict with what is "acceptable" in life and career. I've never met a well-adjusted half-Asian half-white person in my town. I hope they do exist, though. I would like to be one someday.

>>7234900
Oh Christ. No one cares

>>7234927
This board somehow gets exponentially more aggressive and bitchy when the Australians come on.

>>7234932
Maybe you could do what makes you happy and take that problem to tumblr?

>>7234936
Maybe you could stop replying to people trying to have a conversation in the thread? She asked, I responded. I'm sorry you're such an asspie you don't realize how communication works.
>having at least two closely related people to you of different culture
>must be rad as fuck
nope.jpg

>>7234988
I know plenty of well-adjusted halfies. Sounds like it's you that's the problem, sorry.

>>7232235
Anon, I know you want to care about your family, but if they really are just brushing you off like that, just do enough housework for yourself. Cook dinner, but only for yourself. Don't wash any plates unless you need them, and then only wash the ones you need. Once this gets their attention, explain your point of view again. They might still call you hormonal and irrational, but they'll realize that, unless they pitch in, they're going to starve.

>>7234916
Oh my God.

>>7234932
That's really shitty. I have a half-brother now, half-Viet from my step-mom and half-white from my dad, so that's... Not putting me into an optimistic outlook for his parental relationship.

>>7234988
Apparently it's really uncool?? Me and my darned love for culture not thinking of cultural clashes.

I- I really didn't think I was going to stir things up by teasing anon-chan about their wording.

>>7235292
*
>tfw I- I really didn't think I was going to stir things up by teasing anon-chan about their wording.

g- goddamnit

>>7235163
Unless you are one yourself, you don't know what it's like. Hate to go all SJW here, but one of my closest friends is Korean and started to date a white guy and after about 4-5 months aka 1 semester she all of a sudden had a huge mental breakdown and disappeared from classes at university. Shut down her facebook, twitter, and stopped responding to texts/calls. We're from hometowns pretty close to one another, and like 6 months after she disappeared, I randomly ran into her at a boba cafe. She explained to me this long story about the emotional trauma of her parents strict traditional beliefs about school, future jobs, social etiquette, and especially boyfriend or husband stuff (marrying within the culture) for her whole life and she couldn't deal with what she wanted and what her friends and society thought was okay vs what her parents taught her to think, so she finally had a meltdown after she tried introducing her parents to her boyfriend and they threatened to stop paying for her university tuition. So she moved in with one of her friends from highschool while she sorted things out in her head. None of us in her group of friends had any idea she was having such a hard time with all this. It was also really surprising because there is a large number of Koreans at our school, not to mention everyone in our friends group is 1st generation Asian-American as well, so if she had opened up about it, we all would have tried helping her. It was really fucking scary. We thought her parents shipped her to Korea or she died or some shit.

So tl;dr, you really can't say it's just anon who has problems with being happa. You don't really know what's going on inside someone's head just because they seem well-adjusted on the outside.

>>7235345
I don't understand this crap with Asians. That's why after thousands of years of history, you're all still xenophobic as ever. I hoping for the years to come when everyone will be either mixed race couples or at least more fucking accepting. Not dating your own race isn't the end of the world, my gods. But I guess Asians just look forward to their loveless marriages.

I have yet to meet a "traditional " Asian parent who wasn't closed minded and racist as ever. It really makes me sad, but so many of them just isolate themselves. And family is all they have because they make it that way.

>>7235345
Uh, I don't really understand how your example is relevant; it's about an Asian and a white dude, not a half.

And for the record, I'm an Asian with 1st gen parents, going out with a white dude, and besides initial misgivings, it's been fine. Not all Asian families are famiry honour A+ y u no doctor families.

>>7235358
you just don't understand because you're a dirty white piggu!!!!

but in all seriousness, it's probably because asians have been closed off from other races for most of history. there's obviously going to still be a stigma, especially since many asians in america (or other non-asian countries) are 1st or 2nd generation immigrants. if you think about it, there's far less association with foreigners in asian countries compared to associations with asians in america/european countries/etc. and that obviously contributes as well. change doesn't happen that quickly.

>>7235387
It's sad because I don't think a lot of Asians want change. Look at how incredibly racist Japan still is in 2013.

>>7235345
thought you meant halfer like half <insert race here> half <insert other race here> not an interracial couple...

>>7235375
I mentioned dating outside your race, and that counts as Asians not wanting their precious genetics not to mix race, which is crap.

My friend who is 31 years old and second gen Chinese basically had to tell her family piss off. Before that, she was dating a Vietnamese guy on the downlow and both families were against even though they are grown adults. It's not right.

>>7235388
see, but that's focusing on the country itself, which is different than the asian immigrants. i find that asians that immigrate to america (etc.) at a younger age tend to be less racist. it has a lot to do with the type of culture people are exposed to. until there's an overwhelming number of foreigners in asian countries, and they become an integrated part of asian society, nothing will change because no one really thinks of it as something that needs to be changed.

>>7235358
1st gen Korean here.
It's to preserve the culture and people.
The only reason that Korean race even exists now is because, for thousands of years, we stuck together.
The Mongols, the Manchu, the Japanese, and every Chinese empire that had eyes on the East (China) Sea vied for control of the Korean peninsula.
Korean history is marked by almost constant warfare and, without a powerful sense of national unity, we would have been wiped out centuries ago either through utter annihilation or intermarriage.
Just look at what happened to the Manchus. Never heard of them? Exactly.

True, in the modern era it might not be necessary but, at least back in the homeland, it gives us a sense of identity.
We never really question who we are or where we came from because we know:
We are Korean. This is our history. This is our suffering. Look at how far we have progressed.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Han_%28cultural%29
Two fewer existential questions that we have to worry about.

But right now the whole country is going through a rough time.
It's only been ~150 years since we opened up to the west and we're still trying to work out the kinks.
Reconcile old traditions with western ideals.
Give it some time, and I'm sure we'll find some middle ground that we can both agree on.

But my parents are pretty lenient and I wouldn't mind a white qt 3.14 gf ;_;

>>7235394
Even when there is, it's still frowned upon. A lot of people go to Korea and Japan to teach Esl and its rare when they date or marry a native without extreme difficulty and prejudice.

>>7235399
yeah but that's only something that has become more common recently, and it's not like people are going over to korea/japan/china/etc. in droves. sure, there's a good number of them, but compare that to how many asians immigrate/have immigrated to america (etc.) and it's hardly anything at all. it would take a much larger number of foreigners to be able to make most people in asian countries aware that there should be less prejudice. if you look at american history, it's like that, too. all the races that immigrated over were discriminated against until they were around long enough and there was enough of them to make some kind of impact on the country.

>>7235397
We are only one race. The human race. Once we see past all these labels, then maybe we can stop judging based on your race. I love my Chinese girlfriend very much. Getting married soon and I'm mixed race of Irish and Hispanic myself. It's seems so silly to only focus on such a small fragment of a person. Pretty soon race won't even matter. I think tradition and culture can be preserved and even modified without race wars.

>>7235404
You are right. I hope time will make things better and ease tension.

>>7235404
"I am American" wasn't a thing until after the Declaration of Independence (1776).
Less than 200 years of history makes for an easier transition to an open society.
Compare that to the thousands of years of history that exists for every East Asian nation.

>>7235410
I'm not American. Thousands of years of history isn't an excuse to be xenophobic

>>7235410
well, yeah, thats definitely a factor, too, which is why the prejudice is and will be around for a while.

>>7235405
Race and culture are as important as the person makes it.
Sometimes, to preserve diversity, you need barriers.

>>7235416
If those thousands of years makes up your identity as a person, then it's not an excuse, is it?

>>7235405
>races don't exist!
>goes on to talk about how you and your gf are of differing races acknowledging you two are different races and that different races exist

God, please stop being pants on head retarded. Races exist, and you must be beyond pc tarded to say otherwise.

>tfw you're >>7234118 and you never knew an innocuous comment about Asian standards of cleanliness would blow up into full blown shitfest about Asians, racism, and xenophobia.

Fuck guys, fuck you all.

>>7235410
>less than 200 years of history
>1776+200 is 1976
>year is 2013
might wanna check your math there.

>>7232497
Me right now. My package is in my area but it says it's in "retention", whatever that means.

>>7234118
Wow this is exactly what my mom thinks about secondhand. She actually freaked out when I brought something home from a swap meet once.

(Also my mom is white so it's not just an Asian thing, I suppose?)

>>7235512

its 200 in tumblr years, ok?? god

>>7235587
Retention means you missed the delivery and need to go to the post office.

>>7234620
Where in the world does it mean that being a computer science major is also labeled as engineering. If you're not taking engineering courses, or the major isn't defined as engineering why the fuck should you care?

Also, CompSci kids are the coolest, and will most likely have the most stable jobs in the near future. You should be proud you're even good with computer programming, because that means you'll be able to deal with the problems yourself and not hire someone for 200 dollars to do it.

Fuck your family.

>>7235599
tw: checking my math privilege

>>7234620
Although writing code is a big part of computer science, there are occupation with a computer science degree that you can get where coding won't be 100% of your work. And it's even better that you can do your work anywhere you have a laptop.

Computer science is a great major. I am half regretting switching from computer science and graduating with another engineering degree.

In the end, you should do what will make /you/ happy and have a great prospect in life. Good luck, anon.

>tfw you're tall for a girl (like 184cm) and it feels like you're too tall for lolita
>heels only make you taller and it feels bad
>when I can find heels that fit because of my big shoe size because of my height

>>7235770
J-Just go barefooted/leg warmers <3

>>7234039
About 21 now, sadly
The kind of people that isn't even raging about tumblr crap on their blog, just calmly explaining like the rest of the world is a lost cause
Think Anita Sarkeesian

>Got caught up in drama few years ago on the net, little here and there with comm
>Pretty cool with comm now though. Close to a few members.
>Move to new comm. They are nice but can't get close to anyone because of online past and just don't have anything in common with most.
>Vendetta-chan won't let it go and constantly posts your name here
>Like frills and wearing it makes me happy, but anything related to a community new or old makes me bitter and depressed thanks to vendetta-chan bringing up the past
>Thinking of quitting lolita

I don't know what to do seagulls.

>>7235949
Just be a lone lolita, Nia.

>>7235952
That's the obvious response, but I'm so damn lonely.

>>7235949

The drama was a few years ago and people still care that much? Why are YOU still caring that much? It's years old drama posted to 4chan.

Try talking to your new comm, that you are sorry for the drama a few years ago but that you are over it and have improved. If your old comm (where the drama took place) accepted that, why shouldn't your new comm (where you never cuased drama at all)?
And if you cannot get close to them because chemistry between you doesn't work, well... Don't blame it on drama that no one in real life cares about anymore. There's nothing you can do but try again and stop blaming your problems on some one else.

>Thinking of quitting lolita
Seriously, if that makes you quit Lolita... Why did you get into the fahsion in the first place? Just because you have some troubles with other Lolits shouldn't make you quit what makes you happy. That's just childish.
.

>>7235968
>Just because you have some troubles
Not just some troubles, quite a bit of troubles. I suffer from depression and a constant reminder is making it worse. I can't just up and forget about it unless I never go online. However due work I cannot do this. So I would be quitting for health reasons.
It's not just drama posted to 4chan. FYI.

>>7235949
Maybe it's because they know you frequent cgl and other wank communities, and you always bring up the same drama in every 'feels' thread or 'local comm' threads. If you really want to stop having it follow you, lie low for a while and if you have to participate in places like this, just don't make it so fucking obvious it's you every single time.

>>7235971
You have to go on social media to look at lolitas, your friends, and past drama to do your work? Just what the hell do you do?

You can go online and do your work WITHOUT looking at things to remind you of shit's not even relevant to your work. If lolita doesn't make you happy anymore, then by all means, quit.

>>7235968
Different anon, but whenever I see someone pose the question "Why did you get into the fashion in the first place?" and "So childish" it makes me wretch.
Some may not have friends outside of the fashion. They might also be suffering from social awkwardness, anxiety, or depression. Just because it looks like an easy fix to you doesn't mean the person is being childish for struggling with it.

>people with a narrow minded attitude make me want to reach through the screen and slap them

>>7235976
Anon, >>7235949 said they like lolita and like wearing it. Way to read.

>>7235981
You also need to learn to read. Where did I mention anon didn't like lolita or don't like wearing it?

But apparently being a lolita makes her depressed because of her past hobbies. Why be in a hobby that makes you miserable?

>>7235976
>social media
Yes actually I have to use social media for work.

>>7235977

>Some may not have friends outside of the fashion.

Some people do not have friends inside the fashin too. I'm a lone Lolita myself.

>They might also be suffering from social awkwardness, anxiety, or depression. Just because it looks like an easy fix to you doesn't mean the person is being childish for struggling with it.

So how am I supposed to know their complete backstory if they only write "I have some troubles with some drama online"?
Also read >>7235981

>>people with a narrow minded attitude make me want to reach through the screen and slap them

Slap yourself first, then.

>>7231159
My bf strongly prefers Margiela to Spank!, and definitely is not excited when I break out the lolita. But, he understands it's something I love, and that it's important to define one's own individual identity, and doing so shouldn't be taken as a personal affront or inconvenience.

I usually wear lolita to events he doesn't attend. But if I wear it while with him, he just deals. Like how I deal with him wearing shoes I think are fug incarnate, or sitting through 5 fucking hours of "Einstein on the Beach."

Just talk to your bf about it. Introduce it to him slowly, start with an otome outfit instead of hardcore lolita. If he's not willing to be tolerably open-minded about it, then you've gotta figure out how much you're willing to limit yourself to preserve the relationship as is.

>>7235987
>being a lolita makes her depressed because of her past hobbies
Where did she say this?

captcha: Elocili logical

>>7235971

Maybe you should calm down a bit and not expect peopel on /cgl/ know the whole story of your life and struggles?

I'm sorry for your bad situation, but you sound unnecessarily rude.


>>7235991

And there is no way to block people / comms or whatever to pop up? If your situation is that bad, I don't think anyone would mind if you say you would hve to take a break and leave the comm /group / unfired some people?

>>7235972
haven't been making it obvious and yet I have a vendetta-chan

>anons fighting
Sorry guys I didn't mean for this to blow up so much...

>>7236004
>but you sound unnecessarily rude.
I'm sorry? I don't get how I do. I wasn't expecting anyone to know the full story. Either you or several anons are being really sensitive.

>>7236008
Nia it's painfully obvious every time you post about it. And it always derails. Please just... leave /cgl/ and other wank comms for a while. Try and patch things up with your new comm. Figure out your life.

>>7235971
I haven't seen Nia drama on /cgl/ in a long while. And where the hell else would you see it? Don't be dramatic, "I can't just up and forget about it unless I never go online".
Jesus christ, this boat and it's bullshit lately. Rosaire shat up the SS thread, /a/ fags and SJWs shat up the Frozen cosplay thread, culture crap and Nia shitting up this thread. What the fuck has been going on in this board lately

>>7236035
>Rosaire shat up the SS thread

She's an attention whore, what did you expect.

> /a/ fags and SJWs shat up the Frozen cosplay thread

Please, the thread was BEGGING for it. It was obvious that the sjw would not remain on tumblr.

>culture crap and Nia shitting up this thread

I don't know why she cries about "I hate mah drama and I have a vendetta-chan!! ;_;" When she's the one posting on a shitty imagebord on 4chan where people are just begging for flaming up more drama. Like.. No. Leave. No one cares anymore besides you. You don't need a vendetta, you're your own worst Vendetta judging from this thread.

>>7236055

*Vendetta-chan

>>7234790
>he's a trap now

Kill it with fire
He was jealous of you for being an actual girl

Seriously I have never met a trap that was not insane or a sociopath

>>7236055
B-but it was about the Elsa wig! I was looking forward to pretty braided wig pictures ;n;
Really, I don't understand why that movie is getting so much hate. I didn't even know what it was until a couple weeks ago (I don't have TV so never know what's going on from commercials. I just pay for Netflix) so I guess I missed the beginning of that shitstorm.

Is there a gtfo or some record of the Nia drama? I don't know anything about it other than those few times her ex came on here and was pissed he bought her brand and she dumped him. It's the only shit I can find on the rebeccablacktech archive. I have a feeling that was just the tip of the iceberg based on how she's building it up like there was some huge scandal?

Congrats, Nia. I don't know your drama but thanks to your shitting up the thread, I intend to find out.

Pic unrelated

>>7236035
I'm not Nia.
Also there were and still are other places to see drama related to lolita. You're a newer lolita?

>>7236076

>B-but it was about the Elsa wig! I was looking forward to pretty braided wig pictures ;n;

Well, at least there were a few wigs posted, and some of them were even okay, I guess? But the movie came out a few weeks ago, what miracles could be expected?

>Really, I don't understand why that movie is getting so much hate. I didn't even know what it was until a couple weeks ago (I don't have TV so never know what's going on from commercials. I just pay for Netflix) so I guess I missed the beginning of that shitstorm.

In short: People where pissed that this was a typical disney movie (horrbile way of telling a fairytale, bad songs, a WHITE princess).

I can understand the criticism and why people do not like the movie, but well... It was a disney movie, what could anyone expect? Certainly not anything groundbreaking or good.

>Is there a gtfo or some record of the Nia drama?

Not sure, please shar whatever you find

>>7235952
>>7236029
>>7236035
>>7236055
>>7236076
Original anon. Well I'm glad I'm not really remembered. I'm not Nia and I don't know the drama involving her, but I feel bad that me coming on here asking for advice is just trudging up old drama completely unrelated to me. What if this girl is feeling the same way as me?
tl;dr You seagulls are either PMSing and need to go take a chill pill or are really mean individuals who'll get bit by karma in the future.

Never change, /cgl/.

>>7236079
>gtfo
>loli-secrets is dead, btb very tame
>/cgl/
>tumblr but who the fuck sifts through that bullshit
Unless you're talking about Facebook, no, I do not know the other places to see drama and have been into lolita long enough to have bought PC when it was first released. Try harder, Nia. I'm sorry not all of us can keep up with your bullshit.

>>7234620
Your family should frankly fuck off. No offense. But engineering rivalry bullshit is just so laughably, destructively inane.

Do computer science if you like it. Do something else if you don't. Rather than worrying about bullshit prejudices, you should think about what you like and want in the long-run. Hating coding is pretty legit. Though it's possible to have a successful career in computer science without having to code all the time.

>>7236098

I have no idea what I just read
Anon, whoever you are, you deserve the drama around you. Clearly YOU are the problem.

>tl;dr You seagulls are either PMSing and need to go take a chill pill or are really mean individuals who'll get bit by karma in the future.

This is so stupid I do not even have a witty response.

>>7234932
It makes it easier to see parental differences as individual differences, not just This Culture vs. That Culture, and approach them that way. Try to understand each person, their wants and where their thoughts coming from, and help them understand your own.

I'm a mixed kid and have tons of mixed friends and family members, and we're all arguably well-adjusted. Even my cousins whose G.I. dad turned out to have a secret secondary family in another country. Both families come over and we exchange weird gifts and crack inappropriate jokes about white male imperialism.

>>7236151
who wants your wit anyway when you're so ugly

>>7236166
I would love to hear this story.
How did you guys find out?

>>7236174

>>7236195
awwww!

I think the only Nia drama really was her ex-boyfriend crap where she dumped her silly ex shippou who was stupid enough to buy her a bunch of AP for a neckbeard and she moved to CA.

and he pined for her and trashed her on /cgl/.
that's it.

http://archive.rebeccablacktech.com/boards/cgl/img/0071/70/1383818721102.png

wait found that she posted this:
>Break up with boyfriend
>he goes on fucking crazy, deletes my shadesoflolita blog
>that blog had over 2,000 followers, was my passion and the inspiration of some others. ran it for four years, had people offering me free goods if I promoted their store, ect.
>fucking deletes it, and all my side blogs, by guessing my email security questions and going into that.
>probably knows my Trip too, from that one time I used his computer
>sends me photos of him burning the shit I gifted him
That is actually kind of fucked up.

anon said:
>You ran shadesoflolita? I suddenly understand why so many people hate you, that blog was like a showcase of the worst bullshit Tumblr has to offer.
another anon says:
>>deleted your SJW tumblr blog that stole people's photos while you used it for your own personal gain
>Good.

So maybe people hate her because she had a shitty blog. idk.
http://archive.rebeccablacktech.com/cgl/thread/S7091757#p7096275

>>7231196
I had a girlfriend say this shit to me when I weighed 106 pounds and had really shit self-esteem and not-so-healthy eating habits. She knew all that. She was a fatty herself, so I guess that stemmed from her insecurity or something. Even still, it wasn't' cool.

It really sucks how much of an impact dumb shit like that can have on you. I'm glad you're rid of him.

>>7236213
>dat twitter
>something I feel is mine
Nia might have had a holier-than-thou SJW dumbass blog blot her ex sounds like a douchebag.

>>7231967
Congrats, Anon! I'm glad that you finally found a drug that works for you.

>>7236223
I don't remember specifically what her drama was, but I do recall her popping into every single thread with her "waaah! look at me! Pay attention to me! I have so many issues!" bullshit and being a general drama breeding pest.
If she acted anything ike that in my local comm I would hate her too.

>>7236253
Serious question anon. Is it better to not come out to people in your local community if you're having depression issues and are having a hard time making friends?

>>7236217
My first bf told me that I had "a nice body but an average face".
15 year old me took that to heart and I've found it really hard to believe other boyfriends telling me that I'm "pretty" or "cute" or "sexy" to the point where I get insecure/clingy and paranoid that they're only with me because I'm sleeping with them, which I know logically is ridiculous but emotionally it makes sense. It also means I get super insecure about my body as well because in my head, it's the 'most attractive' part of me and some days I don't find it attractive at all, so feel super ugly and worthless.

In terms of lolita related feels, I think lolita makes my body look really unattractive (pear shaped/small torso/chunky-ish limbs from sport) because the girls I like the look of the most have small torsos, super slender calves and super tiny arms, and I only fit the first criteria so in photos I look about the same size as a friend who is several dress sizes bigger. But I love the dresses so much.

>>7236267
I'd say it depends on how open your community is and if you feel it's going to affect you at meetups.

It might be a good idea to tell people you feel close to first. More people than you think will have similar issues.

> tfw going to japan in 28 days

> go to meetup
> get pictures taken in well-lit place
> ones without flash look fine
> ones with flash look over-saturated and gross
> ones with flash are the ones posted on comm page

>>7232553
Even if it 'looks' small, it isnt, and 28 would make you too big for a lot of things skirt wise.
>>7236267
Why would you tell people that? Like if they are your friends, sure go ahead, but if you are asking in the first place if it is okay it sounds like they arent. People dont really care about acquaintances' shit.

>>7236267
It really, really depends on your community and their maturity. Some people just don't "get" the concept of mental illness because they have no experience to relate it to, and no capacity to imagine it. Those people have the highest chance of being insensitive pricks and telling you to "get over it" or "you should get out more". You will also get the well-meaning people who treat you like a fine porcelain doll and tread so carefully that they just end up making things worse and frustrating you. I guess you also need to think about why you're telling people - simply mentioning that you find it difficult to make friends or have some issues isn't necessarily going to help you make any more friends, but people understanding that can help ease social interactions. I knew someone who had a mixed anxiety/depression, and one of the manifestations was fairly serious anxiety issues with unfamiliar environments. She was on meds and could usually come to new places, but it was more that we didn't think she was being rude if she had to leave early/didn't feel like talking much etc.

In saying that, some people with mental illness can be very insensitive to the feelings of those around them. Because it can be super foreign and super taboo to people, talking about it often weirds them out to the point of hostility and sometimes a lolita meet is just not the place. Remember that often the only thing you have in common is the fashion, it's not like you're explaining to friends/family who usually know you a bit better, in a sense it can be a bit of dumping on strangers. Even if it is a big deal in your life, there's only so much people can deal with and "bawwww depression" gets pretty...well, depressing, to hear about. Sometimes being a person that others want to interact with involves having to "fake it until you make it" to some extent. Obviously I don't mean faking and hiding when you need help, but sensitivity on both sides is encouraged.

>>7236296
I hate that

>>7235728
Oh shit, I had no clue. Thanks, anon! I don't even know what post office to go to though...

>tfw realize your asexuality
>tfw you want to take a bath but im too tall to fit
>tfw feeling on a completely alien board

>>7236355
did they give you a missed delivery notice? They might try to deliver again.

>>7236267
There is a difference between getting to know a person and then letting them know you have issues and going to a meetup and broadcasting to a group of random strangers "I have a ton of issues. Look at me, pay attention to me, I am going to be a dramatic pain in the ass"


Most of my friends (as well as myself) have issues like depression but know the difference between how one acts among known friends and complete strangers. Among friends you can discuss these things and seek support and understanding. Among strangers one must maintain some level of social grace.
FaeryDragonet is a queen of the oversharing shit no one wants to know. I haven't met Nia in person, but if she is in person like she is online she would be universally hated like FD.

>>7236253

She would also go on anon and attack people who criticized her under the guise of her personal army, or maybe she did have a personal army. She resorted to really crude insults. It didn't reflect well on her.

She overreacted by a large margin, especially on /cgl/, and would derail entire threads as well while maintaining it wasn't her, it was her trolls. Which is half true, but it takes two to tango.

>>7236355
If US - call the 1-800 USPS and give the tracking number. They'll usually have info on where you can call/go.

>>7236288
I hate girls like you. There's really no way your bf is going to convince you otherwise, no matter how attractive or honest he is. You'll never believe him because you sabotage yourself and only see the aspects of yourself negatively. Do you know what happens to guys that do that? They stay alone, forever. So count yourself lucky that someone is putting up with your shit. He's obviously staying with you for a reason, and it's kind of shitty of you to assume he's so shallow and/or desperate that's he's only with you for sex.

The opinion of one person shouldn't affect your entire fucking opinion of yourself. Christ, women are so weak willed. Also, having an ideal body which you aren't and will never achieve in life is the stupidest thing. Learn to love your own body: you only get one.

>>7234620
>>smart people problems

>>7236401
Basically this. Girls are fucking stupid and downers. Even if this girls boyfriend didn't say she looks average but "hot"/"sexy", she would be skeptical anyway and still feel like shit. What's the point of even complimenting girls like her. Waste of breath.

>>7236213
mfw my screencap of shippou's twitter is still seving cgl well

>>7236410
>/r9k pls go

>>7236417
>http://archive.rebeccablacktech.com/boards/cgl/img/0071/70/1383818721102.png
Holy fuck what a psycho
No wonder she left him

>>7236410
How is life as an incel, anon?

>>7236431
In a way, I respect nia for scamming brand out of this neckbeard faggot. In every other sense I hate her for being an ita bitch who does nothing but make up stories about how victimized she is by other lolitas.

>>7236433
She doesn't look ita to me. Made up stories?

>>7236431
>http://archive.rebeccablacktech.com/boards/cgl/img/0071/70/1383818721102.png
>But if it's something I feel is mine...

Nope nope nope!

>>7236213
I'm really mad he deleted shadesoflolita. I loved that blog. After it was deleted I think some other girls made a new version but I can't find it anymore. Anyone know what I'm talking about?

>>7236494
Yeah, some other girl made a new version and posted total itas, got called out on it, and bawwwwleeted

>>7236213
Oh, I totally whiteknighted her not knowing who she was. I didn't really intend to, but her ex-boyfriend hacked her blog and was being such a cunt, I had to call him on his psychotic shit. He's a real douche. Say what you will about Nia, she did not deserve that bullshit.

>>7236296

> compare pictures taken by friend to ones actually posted in comm
> cry forever

At least when other lolitas meet me they'll be thankful I'm not that gross looking?

>tfw everything on mbok is cheaper than YJA, but YJA has more stuff on it

>tfw have $100 in credit to use as an emergency until next paycheck comes in the next two weeks (actual finances drained due to unforeseen fees and of course, rent).

>tfw almost willing to use the emergency money to buy stuff I want because it's currently really cheap

>tfw kind of scared to order because the items may not be as great in real life (Will it fit? Will I be able to wear it often and with many things? Will I even get it on time?).

>>7236267
I have depression and occasional anxiety/panic attacks (of the debilitating kind) and I would find it highly inappropriate if someone came to me spouting their mental problems if our only connection was living in the same area and wearing similar clothing.

If you don't feel well enough to go to a meetup, just don't go. I see no need to tell people it's because of your depression.

>selling dress in mid/end november
>put on hold for someone until dec 10
>don't make them pay down payment because they seem nice and i felt sorry for them
>fast forward three weeks
>kept contact with girl who has the dress on hold, exchange messages on status of money every week or so
>seems kind of worried if she'll be able pay by then, but assures me that she will have the cash and do payment plan, if all else fails
>have extra cash, snag msnd rerelease
>few days pass, unforseen financial circumstances arise
>message chick about dress on hold on dec 9, she says that she needs to wait for the money to go in her bank
>next day, says that she can't afford it anymore
>not enough money to pay off reserve
>five days left to pay for msnd
>probably going to be banned from btssb forever

i guess it was my fault for not making her pay a down payment. i wish she would've just told me earlier... i kind of expected her to back out after she said she might not be able to pay on time, but i probably would've been less pissed if i didn't have to pay for msnd

tfw
>usually manage to find a dream dress
>never in the colorway you want and that suits you

There needs to be more navy and red/wine colorways. I always wear black and I look horribad in pastels.

>>7236401
>>7236410
Okay, so maybe I didn't make this clear by the way I worded it. I'm not constantly stuck in a loop of "omg I hate myself you're lying to me and you're only with me for sex", but when there's conflict in a relationship (serious and usually dealbreaker stuff like differing opinions about managing joint finances, marriage, long-term etc.) or if I'm having a particularly bad day, this is one of the insecurities that can surface. I also found it hard initially to accept compliments from other boyfriends because I thought of myself as plain-Jane average, and not in the movie star way where you suddenly become an 8/10 by taking your ponytail out and glasses off. I wasn't told that I was "ugly" just that I was "average" which to be fair is true of most people's looks, and of course because it came from a partner I took it more to heart. So "I think you're really pretty" was initially met with some skepticism.

Like most people, some days I look and feel good and am really quite happy with the body and face I have; on other days not so much - and on those other days that is one of the things that can go through my head. I posted mainly in reply to a comment that "it sucks how much of an impact dumb shit can have on you" - because this dumb thing happened nearly 10 years ago and I still sometimes feel the impact of it, even though I know it's stupid.

>>7236754
frills are not an emergency, anon. sit on that credit until you have actual pay money.

>>7236213
He took over her blog too.

http://morgiecorgi.tumblr.com/post/64741825900/nia-pyon-shadesoflolita-i-wonder-who-bought

>>7236869
How much is the reserve?

>>7236410
>>7236401
my god are these people insensitive idiots who didn't understand a word she said

so tired of people like these coming in and showing off their shrimp dick insecurity. gotta shit on someone stating they have low self-esteem and know it and struggle with it.