/cgl/ - Cosplay & EGL

Yes, I live near an active community too. I just don't feel a need to see other people who I probably have nothing in common with besides a niche fashion.
Also since the last time I interacted with my community a circle group of friends kept calling me and my other friends (who aren't in lolita) weebs and everything just because we like anime.

I have to deal with shit people in real life. There's no way I'm going to tolerate it in my hobbies.

>>7198217
It's not really a concern that I won't be up to par with their standards, its that I feel as most of them aren't up to par with my own. I've lurked the facebook group and have looked at pictures of their various coords, and improvement over the years can only be seen in two or three girls. It's rather disappointing, but they really do seem like nice gals.

>>7198240
How old are they? I feel like a lot of this is really prevalent in young comms, that have a high percentage of people that are still in school. The only reason why I have the improvement I've experienced is because I'm a married, full time working adult.

Yep me too. I made friends with decent members of the comm closest to me but even when they do stuff outside of the comm they never invite me. #foreveralone

>>7198246
The funny thing is, most of them are older, work full time jobs, and have the obvious money to spend on their clothing. They have really nice brand pieces yet lack the ability to coordinate them in a decent way. I'm talking really basic level mistakes that haven't been corrected in what I can see, the course of two to four years depending on the girl. If I were to join the community, I would actually be the youngest. I don't know, perhaps I'm just being too picky.

>>7198254
Wait, so it's not about being worried what they'll think about you, it's that you don't think they dress good enough for what they own? The fuck is your problem?

>>7198332
Even though I'm fairly active in my comm, I can understand where this anon is coming from.
I get really sick of seeing people look like shit meet after meet, even when people try to gently help them. There are a couple of fairly nice girls in my comm who I'm honestly embarrassed to be seen with, and I don't think it's necessarily me being a catty bitch. A group is only as strong, or beautiful or whatever, as its weakest member.

>>7198332
Different anon, but I get that. Some people just don't want to see itas running about. Even on a lesser level, just not wanting to see people not using their pieces in a good coord.

Its like all the people making fun of itas on this board. We don't like that they're making such simple and terrible looking mistakes. Its embarrassing to lolita.

>>7198217
I'm terrible socially. And my stuff is all handmade and I need more practice (and a better machine that wont fuck up so much) before I feel ready to go out in it like that.

The first lolita I met kinda freaked me out too. She talked like we do on here and kind of bitched about the same stuff /cgl/ hates, I actually wouldn't be surprised if she's a seagull. I mean, it's one thing to be like this on the internet on anon, but... I dunno.

me too. I want lolita friends, though.
I have a weird relationship with people. Most of the time. I look about 14 but ironically have a somewhat dweeby vernacular so I usually try to hold back on that to avoid sounding like a huge autist/know-it-all but I also don't want folks to presume I'm some underage idiot. I know I should enjoy being cute but aside from looking nice in pictures it doesn't help me much. Even my boyfriend of three years now said he disliked me very much at first because he judged(by my aesthetics alone) that I was shallow and stupid until we actually conversed.
I know first impressions are made in a snap but I just want people to like me, man. I didn't ask for this.

In my comm there annoying ita who joined at the same time as me wouldn't leave me alone. She basically stuck to me as if we were best friends and kind of ruined my conversing with others. Every time I tried talking to people she'd run up and take over the conversation with me. She also friended me on facebook saying stuff like she doesn't think anyone else likes her or me and we have to stick together cause we're noobs. I just wanted to make some friends, I'm acquaintances with a few people though, but that damn girl is just so difficult. I basically don't go to meetups anymore, not to mention I'm pretty far-ish away so it's a hassle.

>>7198332
I'm sorry, but I suppose my problem is embarrassment. You don't understand, I'm not talking about simple mistakes like the wrong colored tights, or shoes that don't match. I'm talking about colored ugg boots, no petticoats, the odd anime eyelid makeup (not too sure what to call it). Repeated over, and over again? Yes, its bothersome and has the potential to drive people away. And I don't want to interject because as I said, they are all older than me and fairly nice girls.

I'm scared to come to meet ups in my area, which is a huge community because of a misunderstanding she had with me back in 2011 over the internet. I just can't deal with potential gossip or bullying because she's one of the more influential and higher up lolitas. I'm a fucking grown woman and I can't believe I'm this afraid of criticism and bullying :(
I just have this huge fear of being rejected by a group of people who I share a common interest with all because of my horrible case of word diarrhea.

>>7198385
What comm is it, anon?

>>7198386
I don't want to tell cause I'm afraid that she might be lurking here

I thought about joining one of the comms here, but then I remembered what it's like trying to join any sort of community; I'll lurk for a bit, make a few posts, go back to lurking, then either forget about it because I"m really not interested, or I'll just be ignored and say "screw it". It's not worth the hassle as I either wouldn't go to meets (for one reason or another), or just sit there, fading off into the background because I can't carry a conversation, and I can't insert myself to any cliques that might already be there.

I think I'll just stick to dressing up with my mori friend.

>>7198395
I felt the same. Then one of the girls in the comm was on here and encouraged me to join. Turned out we were all lurkers with problems meeting new people in case they didn't like us/were going to post us to the ita thread. Once we all got over that hurdle, we were OK.

I really want to go to meetups but I'm so shy, and I'm bad at making friends. I'm confident in my outfits and everything, I just feel like I'm really awkward and I have a lot of trouble talking to new people.
I wish I had a friend within the comm, I think it'd make things a lot easier for me. I just gotta suck it up I guess.

>>7198217
>role call
roll call

>>7198496
Idk maybe she wants us to call which role we want in the english remake of kamikaze girls.

>>7198496
Yeah, I realized that but there isn't an edit function. Oh well.

Sometimes I feel this way too. I do feel embarrassed sometimes to go out in big groups of lolitas because I know what we look like to normal people: clowns. I internally wince a lot at what goes on at meetups. I ask myself what's the point of this ridiculous, expensive clothing, and convince myself that I should sell most of my wardrobe. But I keep going to meets because for all the annoyances, there are many more benefits I get from making lolita friends - friendship, commiseration, help, inspiration, and a worldwide network of information and acquaintances.

I guess if my comm was full of itas I'd really feel like there was no point. I'm definitely not in love with a lot of the people in my comm but you never know who will show up to a meet and there could be someone really compatible one day.

So I'm trying to say that I do understand and identify with you loner lolis and under different circumstances I might be one too. There's some value in being alone and just dressing for yourself.

i want lolita friends but i feel like i'd have nothing in common with them besides the fashion. i want to talk about video games and be able to call them bitch-ass niggas without them getting offended.

When I moved to this city I wanted to meet and get along with the other Lolitas in the area but the few that I did meet (Who regularly see each other) are immature and I don't feel I'll get along with them.

When it boils down to it; it's just a fashion and I'd rather spend my time with people who I get along with rather than people who dress the same as me.

>>7198385
What did you say though? In general.

I live in the GTA.

That should be enough to tell you exactly why I'm a lone lolita.

>>7198608
don't know what gta is... Grand Theft Auto lolita?

When I started lolita I was a loner loli for about two years. I went to meetups, but nobody really talked to me, they all just grouped up immediately because they already knew each other, and I couldn't really find someone to come up and introduce myself to. Now the comm has basically lost all its old members, and the new ones are awesome. They're like a second family to me, and it's great. I really don't miss being a loner at all.
What I'm trying to say is, give your comm a chance before ruling them out. And try to go to a meetup once in a while, you never know if new, cool people are joining!

>>7198613
That's what I thought, too.

I bet she has some bitchin' cars though. Yo yo yo, OG Loli in the hizzouse.

>>7198616
>>7198613
Greater Toronto area. I forgot most of the people online are from Europe or Asia atm though, whoops.

>>7198619
Sadly, I'm from the US.

I 'm into games so GTA = Grand Theft Auto for me, automatically. Sorry about that.

>>7198574
Let's be friends anon, all I do is play games and stroke cats all day. You sound like a bomb-ass nigga.

+1 for GTA lolita lol
I live somewhere with no lolita presence, although anime etc. in general is pretty mainstream here. Next year I'm hopefully moving to another city with an active comm, which would be fab.

I really really love the fashion and really want to get into it but I don't even try. Basically, I posted a confession in another thread, but I'm a tranny, I hate it, and while I am short, small and have a definite baby face, I would never participate in a comm simply because on the off chance that anyone ever discovered I was trans I would be horrified at the potential reaction. I'm also just horribly immature and I know it... way too immature to handle gossip or criticism and I am pretty positive I wouldn't be a plus to any comm. Not in this life.

I don't want to keep myself from wearing what I want just because of being broken though, (I have done that for years) so I guess count me in as a lone lolita too! Also want to try fairy-kei as well. I just need to get my sewing space together again and find a better place for all the clothes and old fabrics that are making it really claustrophobic.

>>7198603
Basically I wrote something hastily and left my computer for four hours and came back to see I was posted on a lolita wank page. What I wrote earlier came off as potentially offensive in which I went back and apologized for and then explained what I was really trying to say. The OP of the wank thread is a member of my local community. The OP accused me of backpedaling. It caused a rift, with some people siding with her but the majority siding with me. I had clearly apologized for the sentence syntax error but the OP did not accept it and continued to believe I made a very insensitive comment. The OP went on her twitter and said that I admitted to backpedaling which I didn't. I feel very intimidated buy her since she runs a pretty successful webshop and is an elder lolita. I have never have attended a local meet up due to fear of alienation due to my distorted reputation.

>>7198608

I'm >>7198395, and I live in the GTA as well, and since I"m pretty new to lolita (only have one dress so far), I haven't heard much about the comms other than "there are two because of really old dramu".

Do they have a rep of some sort?

>>7198574
are you kidding me? I'm a lolita and all I do is whine about bitch ass niggas and play videogames. Where do you live?

I'm lucky to have a really diverse comm, sure some of them are stuck up prim and proper bitches but some of them really know how to fucking party.

I quit going to my meet ups because they were all tense ugly bitches and the entire atmosphere was false and just uneasy. You could tell that behind all the sickly sweet fake niceness, they were picking each other apart and judging everyone.

We got loads of itas too, and it sort of created an awkward and unspoken divide. To norms, we just looked like a bunch of mismatched adult babies.

I realised that I had to have more in common with these girls other than our fashion, so I opted out of meets and I've been better off for it.

>>7198718
considering the prevalence of lesbians and democrats in lolita, i doubt you'll have much of a problem. Its not lolita is a particularly form fitting fashion, all genitalia is welcome?

I used to be a regular in the local community, but then a lot of things happened and I kind of drifted apart from them. Most of big name lolitas in my circle like tea, poetry, wispy music and like to talk about their mental illnesses and eating disorders. My intrests include natural sciences and politics, peppered with the occasional crafts. So yeah I have like zero in common with my community.

That, and these days I work on most weekends so it's impossible to go to a meetup.

i dress better than 95% of lolitas, so i feel like im better off by myself. not to mention, i dont like attention, so being in a group would only attract more , even if not directly at me. did i mention mean, catty bitches i'd have to put up with? especially after a few incidents of a girl in the local community trying to stir shit up and create un-needed drama. no thanks.

>>7198838
>That, and these days I work on most weekends so it's impossible to go to a meetup.
Yeah, I know how that feels. Shit sucks.

>>7198217
>Role call for all lone lolitas.
>assuming you meant a roll call for lone lolitas as in lolitas too far from a community/any lolitas entirely

>>7198384
Oh okay. That makes more sense. When you said in your post you didn't want to worry about wearing the latest brand, I thought you meant you didn't like how they weren't doing MdC justice. Yeah I get not wanting to be around people who look like shit.

I live five hours away from my comm, and 20+ hours from my old community, I am a lone lolita. However I have enjoyed going to meetups at both communities. My old comm had many members and it was a fairly big city, lolita had been around in this city for years and there were a few girls who had been wearing the fashion for over a decade. My current community is lovely, we are quite a small group but the meetups are a lot more intimates, everyone helps each other out and the co-ords are absolutely incredible! I'm really close to two of the girls and some of the others have really similar taste.

I wish I had a lolita friend (or any close friend really (as most of my friends live in my old town)) where I live. Someone I could catch up with and we could go shopping in the vintage stores, talk about brand releases/items coming in the mail etc, meet up at great lolita appropriate places. It'd be really nice actually but I'm the only lolita in town currently although there are two girls who are friends with my brother who are getting into the fashion but buy off of cosplay website and love sweet.

i'll keep going to meets because it's convenient to have other people take photos for me. otherwise i enjoy wearing lolita on my own much more.

>>7198781
central florida. all i've heard about florida comms is that they're full of drama. ugh.

All the lolitas of my previos comm were really nice. There's a gap of 4-6 years between them and me tho, some of them married, so I felt kinda unconfortable.
Also, there was a girl -who believes she's a famous cosplayer, but she's ugly- who was jelly of me. I avoided drama and left the comm.

>>7198971
wut, shut your mouth. My community is pretty drama free and we're in Florida. I'm also a member of the central Florida group and I haven't seen any drama on the facebook page.

I only went to one "meet" a few years ago and it was super awkward and only my friend I made go with me and this other chick were there. I'm a part of the state's EGL fb group but there are never events close to me/at a convenient time and I don't care enough to plan. I don't really have a wardrobe, only really like 2 meh coords.
I had friends in high school that were interested in the fashion, but I've gotten away from them (mostly due to them being intolerable to be around).
I work at a Party City and I always hope that I'll somehow run into someone that seems cool and is into cosplay or lolita and we hit it off and become bffs and help each other out with everything. Just a fantasy, but it's nice to think about when I'm just stocking shelves. Gives me hope in a way.

How is the Portland Oregon community? I'm moving soon and want to finally join a com.

Just want to poke in and ask about Seattle WA's comm? Is it any good?

>>7198385
if you're both grown women i doubt anyone will remember a disagreement from two damn years ago. and if she does bring it up, discuss it like adults, or just let it go.
>>7198716
she sounds like a pain in the ass, you apologized and tried to explain yourself. do it anyway and show people that you're a better person than they perceive.

>>7199037
We're a big and diverse comm. I'm not saying you will be best friends with everyone but there will probably be a small group inside the comm you like. There are a couple trolls who try to start shit on cgl and btb, but I'm not sure they even attend meet ups since everyone I've met is incredibly friendly.

I'm kind of a lone-lita.

I've got maybe two friends who wear lolita, but I don't really attend meetups or anything like that. I've only been to one or two.

Like others in this thread, I guess I prefer to make friends with people who I already know I have things in common with, instead of trying to force a friendship just because we both like a niche fashion.

Also, I'm kind of old and, at the meetups I did attend, I felt out of place.

>>7199002
Seconding this, I don't know who's spreading shit about Florida comms, but I haven't noticed any drama in the comms I'm part of.

>>7199160
I used to be part of a Florida comm. Got accused for writing a post on a secret one of my fellow member was on. It was really draining trying to prove my case it wasn't me but I basically got talked down to and either me or her had to leave. So I left. It was stressful and I honestly don't know if I would ever go back. So now I'm a lone lolita.

I think it's really tacky to not want to be friends with lolitas in your comm because they dress "ita" or "haven't improved." It should really all be about their personality. If they are ita AND super annoying then oh yeah, don't bother. But I would rather have lolita friends who are simply awesome people, whether huge itas or not.

I made a handful of lolita friends in my comm and I can't respect any of them. One is a huge free loader and never pays for her own share, in terms of group meals we cook together, gas, parking, her share in activities (she always asks if someone can spot her a few dollars here and there), but spends all her money on snacks and, surprise, expensive lolita stuff. Another is a huge airhead who can't seem to understand plans and how to absorb them and always makes everyone wait on her because she didn't understand the plan correctly, or doesn't communicate her location properly so we are all waiting for her to show up. This is after they are very clearly told AND texted to her. Another is a super loud seagull type of lolita who is always talking about BURANDO, how ugly something is, and how sick she is. Another is always scowling at people and just plays on her DS most of the time and if I talk to her she gives me one word answers and the conversation dies. (I gave up.)

I would give anything to make some friends who like lolita fashion who are responsible adults without social problems, ita or not.

I'm becoming a lone lolita. I love my comm, they're great, but no matter how hard I've tried it feels like they'll only ever be my comm and not my friends.
I see them at meets, but then I'm alone the rest of the time. I just want a frilly sleepover.

I've only been to two meetups, both at my local anime con. The first time I went, I had a good time, met some new people and didn't afraid of anything. But the next year I felt a lot more awkward, as I didn't have much to converse with the others about (not a lot in common besides lolita.) I did however have a nice chat with a cool brolita. That was three years ago and now I feel more confident. I think I shall go again next year. Please wish me well fellow loners.

>>7199069
Full of itas and bitches, and all of the above.

>>7199976
>itas and bitches

That's code for identifying yourself as a mid tier lolita.

>>7199002
Purronica though.

When I meet other lolitas, I feel like having a cute, AKB48 "I Love You" style sleepover. Braiding each other's hair, fawning over each other's beauty, cuddling, watching magical girl anime and talking about stupid girly shit like dreams, dresses, food, and stories.

Nothing will ever fulfill that dream of mine, especially not my comm. Therefore I have decided to become a lone lolita.

>>7200305
>mfw I want this too
Where do you live, I'll be your cute uguu friend.

>>7200305
I wish this would happen.
I'm at uni, and I never had a real sleepover experience due to weird house situation/moving frequently and not ever being able to make a lot of friends in high school. Now that I'm at uni, it all seems rather childish, and at most my friends and I maybe drink and watch scary movies together.

My lolita fantasy is actually just meeting a lolita in public and making a lolita friend, though. None of the girls in my comm have really seemed interested in branching out from their friends, and no one lives in my city/area.

>>7199976

>>7200309
Do you live in Texas?
Oh my god, we can walk in the park together and read books under the trees.

>>7200357
I-I'm not her but I live in Texas...

>>7200365
Are you this anon?
>>7200323

>>7200357
>>7200365
I don't live in Texas. I wish I did now though!

>>7200367
No, sadly I don't go to a university.

>>7200371
>>7200369
>>7200323
May we all meet each other one fateful day, and have the most legendary and kawaii sleepover of all times!!!

>>7200376
If I'm ever on the complete opposite part of the country then okay!

If anyone wants to be kawaii with me in NE let me know.

>>7200376
Wait a second, anybody reppin from H-town?

>>7200376
I'm way shy, though. I'll try to say hi to other lolitas when I see them, but please excuse me if I do run into you and I'm a bit awkward.

>>7200385
..H-town?

...Houston?

>>7200388
Is that a yes?

>>7200376
Sadly I'm in the midwest so I'll likely never meet another lolita out and about.

>>7200390
No I was just wondering what in the world that could mean. It was right? Anyways, I live in Austin, so we're pretty far away.

>>7200394
I visit Austin now and then because of family, so perhaps we shall meet by fate! You guys doing okay? I heard about the flooding.

I attend meetups in my town periodically, but I never feel like I belong. I'm older than everyone else who attends regularly and the only one anywhere close to my age is someone I find annoying and immature. All the people I enjoyed hanging out with in the past have left town. Almost everyone is super nice...but I just have nothing common with them and I end up regretting going to nearly every meet because I hardly say a word and I'm sure half of them must think I'm a snobby old bitch. I just wish there was someone my own age left.

>>7200390
I am reppin' from H-town.
Sadly I am consumed by work and classes atm.
;_;

>>7200396
Perhaps we shall. That would be wonderful.

And I certainly hope everyone here is doing alright. Thankfully I was not directly affected by it, as I do not live near water or low areas for that exact reason. I feel for the people whose houses got messed up, though. It sucks, and it's stressful.

Is Houston doing okay? You guys get crazy coast weather a lot, right?

>>7200463
>About a thousand years later

Yeah, haha, we do get a lot of crazy weather. It'll be raining on one side of the street and completely sunny on the other, but nothing bad has happened lately, thankfully. Glad to hear you're doing fine, too.

>>7201345
By the way, when I said A thousand years later, I meant that my post was a thousand years late.

>>7201350
Heh, I got what you meant after a moment.

>>7201357
Ah, okay, awesome. I didn't want anybody to think I was being bitchy.

was in bellevue, WA today and spotted a lolita. she wore a skirt much too short , though. it looked like she was wearing a tutu, her petticoat was showing entirely.picture related, her outfit from what i remember.

>>7201554
Looks like fairy kei instead of lolita to me

>>7198394
it's anonymous dear

>>7198619
I'm american and had never heard for GTA except for the game...though that shouldnt be suprising

I don't know how many americans know what's going on in canada though, my friend asked how many providences there were and I was like "um 13 I think?" and she was like "no you are absolutely so wrong it is laughable there are like 6 or 7 at the most" and I was like oh...well if you say so

I'm a lone lolita but not because of attitude. The community nearest to me is about 3-4 hours away. There are a couple lolitas locally but both of them are nearly 10 years younger than me. I'm only 25, so it's not like I'm crazy old or anything. They're very nice girls, but I feel like a creeper when I hang out with them. So, I've basically become a con-loli because I'm too afraid to go out alone in lolita in my crappy town.

Just joined a Quebec-area comm, not realizing that the majority of the lolitas speak French.
I'm fluent in French (comes with living the area), but I'm worried I won't be able to make friends as well as I should since I am mainly Anglophone and speak with a strong accent in French.

>>7201642
Did you join Montreal or Quebec City? I speak no french and I have a lot of friends in both comms actually. I joined Montreal last year. Everyone is very sweet and there isn't much drama.

>>7201647
Montreal. I did see a few English posts but nearly all the sales posts were French.
I don't doubt you guys are sweet, I'm just really bad at my conversational French in places that aren't work.

>>7201652
Ah, that is true. Many people I know speak very little english, but will try to do so for me, which is really kind. I also am picking up on more French as I go along myself. There are also a few other girls who choose to speak english rather than French who have made friends easily. Just wait till there is meetup and you will feel more at ease.

I'm a lone lolita as well~ I actually live pretty close to the LA comm, but I'm not entirely sure how to get involved other than going to Fairytale Boutique events.
I think having a lolita friend would be really nice, since all my other friends think my lolita-related hobbies are impractical or silly.

>>7200305
>>7200357
i would love to do both of these with someone but i feel like it would get lesbian really fast.

>>7201774
I don't see how that's a bad thing, unless you're in a relationship and are loyal to that relationship.

>>7201807
That is my situation. Also, it might be awkward at future meetups...

>>7201817
That's very true... Dang, that sucks, I never thought about the future meetups, haha. But hey, since I'm a lone lolita, the sleepover would be a once in a lifetime kind of thing, and I don't go to meetups, so no awkwardness to have to face, haha. That's still a very good point, though.

And hey, props to you for being loyal.

>>7201774
Straight loli here, I sitll wanna do this. Where do you live?

>>7201831
Hey, he's been good to me so I'll be good to him, it's only fair.
>>7201834
In the midwest.

Lone loli in California by choice

I tried to make a few friends in my comm, but all they did was talk shit about other girls and gossip. It was fun for the first few days but then it got so tiresome.

I'm happier having brief conversations with other lolitas on cgl and tumblr than to have to deal with "OMG DID U SEE THAT BTB POST ON SOME-RANDOM-GIRL-IVE-NEVER-MET???" every day

>>7199069
I'm not a regular but it's hard to fit in. Hardly any meetups and everyone already has their own friend group so it's even harder to talk to people if you're shy like me. I've been in the comm for 2 years I guess and I still don't have any close friends. I actually wish I could be part of the Vancouver lolita comm since all the girls I met were so much more chill and mature.

>>7201877
what part of cali?

>>7201607
Somebody had to put a restraining order against her because she was so crazy about bullying another member of the comm. The moment I say which comm it is, everybody will know who I am and the girl is.

>>7201669
same here, but I havent been to an event yet.
I'd honestly just prefer having one or two friends in the fashion.

I used to be a lone lolita. My area had a small comm, but it was mostly filled with itas so it inevitably dissolved. I had no want to be part of it, so I just ignored it and kept to myself. Thankfully, they never noticed me.

Recently, the comm has been resurrected. Mostly good lolitas, but only recently with a surge of ita members did I realize it's quite the ita hugbox. Meets are scheduled terribly, and the few I have hosted were fucked around with by other members. It's just frustrating, and I find I waste a lot of money commuting to meets.

I wish I could go back to being a lone lolita, but I don't have the guts to just stop going. I'm too beta to take action that could potentially hurt the two or three girls that I actually enjoy spending time with. They'd never actually have 'private' meetups with me either, as they're too nice to exclude others.

I really hate this.

I also tried joining a local lolita community, but was turned off for a different reason. I can get past being older than most of the girls, and much to my surprise everyone treated me normally even though they could tell there was a male in that dress. I enjoyed talking to them for the most part, but all that one of them wanted to talk about was recent drama that someone had posted about her and a friend on BTB. She doesn't know, but I've known the person she was accusing for several years, though not well. I don't know whether I should just quietly disappear or go to more events. Either way, I am going to tell her in private that the gossip turned me off from the community.

My theater class has to attend plays throughout the year and our next one is next week. I feel like I don't wear lolita near enough, and I thought attending a play would be perfect for a casual coord. I'm just really nervous because none of my classmates know that part of me and I don't want to show up and have them all think that I'm some weird attention whore.

>>7201669
I went to some of the Fairytale Boutique events alone for my first ever meet. I am super shy but tried complimenting some lolitas to break the ice but they just said thanks and walked away while I was asking about their outfits. The events were also so packed (like literally we were sardined together during the raffles) which was really awkward. It seems the SoCal clicks stay together and don't really talk to new people much so if you don't go alone or aren't able to instantly make new friends, it will be really lonely.

>>7202656
This may seem counter-intuitive but complimenting is not a good way to break the ice. At major tea parties and conventions, when lolitas compliment each other, it's usually just that, and not actually an invitation to talk more. If you want to strike up a conversation, you can't lead with "love your outfit." Try your name next time. If you say, "Hi, I'm Anon," your intention is unmistakable.

>>7202741
This seems kind of silly and makes no sense. In every other social situation a compliment can easily lead into a conversation. Proof lolitas are crazy girls with aspergers.

>>7202772
Not all of us are like that, I for one enjoy ice breakers like that. Can easily segue into asking about particular items.

I'm new to the atlanta area and definitely don't want to be associated with the main community b/b they seem like a bunch of drama mongering itas so I'm definitely a lone loli. not like that was any different from my shitty hometown in SC so at least I'm used to it

>>7202853
The well dressed girls are drama whores and the itas are nice.

>>7202853
Have you been to any of the meets? Im new to lolita and I normally disregard rumors until I see it with my eyes.

See ya at the cookie exchange, hopefully, for I dont think they can f that up.

>>7202656
>>7201669
lets be friends, and maybe go to the events together, so that way we don't feel alone.
I'm super shy, so going to a place packed with lolitas without any friends actually sounds kind of horrifying.

>>7203092
I think I am pretty done with Fairytale Boutique events unfortunately. The next one coming up is a whopping $50 for cold sandwiches and I am not really interested in meeting Rin Rin. Also so much stuff at FB is either overpriced or nothing good, so that mixed with not being able to hit it off with any lolitas makes me not want to bother anymore. Post on the socal group and ask to meet up/go with someone, I am sure you will find a buddy or two.

Beacuse as you said, yes it is horrifying going to a packed room of lolitas and being completely alone but forced to squish against them.

>>7203272
I'm not really interested in going to that particular event-too much money, so little reassurance. my boyfriend's birthday is the day after and how pissed would he be if I spent all the money on burando. I think I'll just be a con-loli, but I'd be comfortable having one or two other lone-loli friends. Comms can be very draining.

>>7203272
I already met RinRin for free before she was a model. She used to go to LA cons and events and always wore this outfit.

>>7201554
>>7201584
Yup, sounds more like fairy kei.

My comm is active although I don't interact with them outside of seeing a few girls at various cons. I wouldn't mind participating more, but our meetups tend to be outside of the city and more in the county areas. ( comm is named after our city yet they rarely hold meetups within the area.)

So this non car having shy loli is forever alone. Would love to have a lolita friend in the area to trade knowledge and let borrow stuff from my closet.

>>7203092
>>7202656
Yeah, I have typically been bringing along a non-lolita friend with me to the events and dressing them up, but it's still really intimidating and I feel like I'm just dragging them along...
Anyhow, if you're interested in going to a future event together, my email is in the field~

>>7203092
>going to a place packed with lolitas without any friends actually sounds kind of horrifying.

This is pretty much me every time I manage to go to an event. I have weird blips of social anxiety and I spend a lot of the meet being nervous and stressed even though these are people I'm familiar with. I've only met one or two girls I felt relaxed around because they were both cosplayers and that's something I can relate to more.
I will say that my first thought is to try to talk to as many unfamiliar faces as I can find, or keep the conversation going after a compliment, because I remember being new and feeling really uncomfortable and out of place and that's the worst feeling. So yeah, if anyone's heading to the meet and greet on Sunday and would like someone to talk to, just look for the lolita fidgeting awkwardly around everyone and that'll be me.

Lone loli/otome here. I'm not too interested in meeting people from the nearby comm, mostly due to their age (I think most of them are teenagers, barely any over 20) and I don't have a lot of patience for that. I also don't feel much of a need to find people who like to dress like me because I don't find that makes somebody interesting.

The idea of having one or two loli friends is nice though. Just a couple I can drink wine with, dress extravagantly, take silly photos, do girly shit with, and have some good banter. That would be nice. If I could somehow convince the friends I already have to do that, then problem solved (haha, but not likely, I think my friends would die if they knew how much I spend on this hobby)

I don't know if she's actually a lolita but this weeby mousy chubby girl in my history class wore hot topic tier lolita for halloween despite me thinking she should have some know how since she had a good quality wig

My comm is really spread out and all of the nearest events are usually a 1 hour drive for me, which honestly isn't much but they always do them on weird days where I can't make them. They also seem very welcoming but slightly elitist at the same time? They're always inviting the comm over to their houses which is very friendly, but it's always the same 6 or 7 girls showing up and of those girls like 4 of them are very exclusive with one another. They are really nice though, but just some of their comments on fb tend to be a bit uppity.

>>7204157
She might be a cosplayer trying to get into lolita. Or she just wanted to do shitty lolita for Halloween because it's Halloween and most people just easymode out of that holiday.

>>7204160

What comm?

I live really close to the LA Comm too, but everyone seems so cliquish that I can't bring myself to go to meetups. Even at conventions, most of the lolitas I compliment just give me the stanky eye and ignore me. Luckily most of my friends are metalheads that don't really mind if I dress oddly around them, but I sometimes wish I had someone to talk about this stuff with.

I just chose to be lone because my closet isn't that big as I'd like to show it off to a group of other ladies and also because I accidentally got involved in drama in my comm without meaning to so have been kind of avoiding for a bit.

Here's what I don't understand when people start throwing around the word "clique."

You have a group of people with a common hobby. They're probably all friends, some closer than others. What exactly are you expecting?

I always find myself welcoming new people so I not sure what's up.