/cgl/ - Cosplay & EGL

>>7084822
Is it me or is that button fucking beautiful? Dem colors, dat everything.

>>7084835
>dat kerning
>dat use of complimentary colors with the text over the background

>>7084835
it looks like a candy

>>7084822
When I was in school there was this girl who would "change" her "gender" daily, go in and out of being a lesbian while having a crush on her male teacher. Loving yaoi and screaming how kawaii and boy desu she is, dressing like a boy and cutting her hair short, but the next day wearing a mini skirt with some kinda, breast enhancing bra.

As a human who has had breast removal surgery for gender problems of my own, I found her very offensive and even tho she was in my "group" of friends (about 12-16 people)
I never talked to her once and ignored she was alive.

>>7084835
It looks like somebody actually went and embroidered rainbow fabric, judging by the texture.
>dat effort

>>7084835
No, I just think you will yaoi for pocky.

>>7084822

I know I've told this story before but it never stops grossing me out.

>Sitting at a super small hallway con with a friend
>Talking
>We both ran into old friends of ours from high/middle school years.
>One was creepy neckbeard weeb who tried to be kawaii to get the girls to pity sex with him
>Yes, one of those "YOU NEVER SHOWED ME ANY ATTENTION BUT I TOOK THAT AS YOU WANTED MY COCK" types.
>He's there with my old friend who lacks any sort of hygiene [Grease. Grease and BO everywhere]. She was a super sweet girl back in middle school but became a total convention whore.

>Girl comes up to my friend [who has a gf at this time] and tries to seduce him.
>He is literally about to vomit and rejects her telling her he has a gf
>She insists he cheat on her and she'll cheat on her boyfriend with him too.
>He laters comes running up to me begging me to keep her away from him

>Later we're sitting against a wall playing Pokemon
>Suddely group of weebs [all the stereotypes. All of them. The Hot Topic twig guy, the kawaii pity me guy only now in furry gear, the "psycho kawaii goth" girl, etc.] all form a circle by our feet
>Ignoring them
>They start playing spin the bottle
>Pity Me Kawaii and "Let's have a Cheatsome" start making out on the floor
>No, I'm sorry, they're making out on my foot.
>One of them is undoing their pants
>Utterly repulsed
>I cannot begin to explain to you the amount of repulsed I am that they are trying to have sex on my foot
>Freak out, tell them to get the fuck off of me
>Just full bitch mode
>Not even sorry
>The others in the circle were undoing their pants too

>We were in the middle of a crowded hallway
>My face

>>7084893
EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW.

Ew.

>>7084893
Holy shit, are these people very common at cons? I've been to about 4 convention and have yet to encounter this kind of retarded behavior. Maybe I just have a good group of friends.

>>7084893
Horror stories like that were what kept me away from cons since high school. I've yet to go to even one now, and I'm getting my Master's degree.

>>7084893
I want to know what conventions y'all go to because holy shit. I haven't experienced or seen anything remotely close to these threads. Maybe some of the stereotypes yea, but none of this fuckery.

>>7084893

>>7084868
It's just process color printed, don't get too excited

WHAT THE FUCK IS SUPPOSED TO BE SO GOOD ABOUT POCKY COMPARED TO AMERICAN CHOCOLATE ANYWAY?

>>7085225
American chocolate is shit. Cadbury's all the way, pls

>>7085225
BUT IT'S KAWAII, ANON-CHAN!

NYAH =^.^=

>>7085225
>American chocolate
>good
Hershey's literally tastes like vomit. How can you eat that?

>>7085225
Maybe because its not from 'Murica?
Mostly weeabooing. Mostly.

>>7085225
Because it's Japanese. I don't think it's that great either, and the Korean (I think) equivalent tastes better to me anyway.

>>7084893
I've always wanted to go to a con, but reading stories like these make me a little nervous about attending.

>>7085225
I like the fact that it has the bread/cookie part to it. I'll eat anything that's cookie and chocolate. ,

>>7085225
i'd invite you to eat your words, anon, but such delicacy would be wasted on tasteless yank swine like yourself.

>>7085225
Imma gonna let my weeb out a bit, but I like that it is on a weird cookie stick, the chocolate flavour is disgusting though. My favorite is green tea.

>>7085251
Keep in mind that these stories are interesting not only because they are horrifying, but because they are not a common occurrence. If this kind of thing happened all the time I think we all would have given up on cons a long time ago... On that same note though, I have my fair share of stories, including having been bit in the leg by some chick I didn't even know. I have been going to cons for a little over 17 years now so almost all of my con going experience is pleasant, but simply due to the sheer number of cons I have been to I am bound to run into some crazys once in a while.

>>7085259
the green tea is good! i just tried it recently. the go-to for us was always the strawberry flavor with the little bits.

If this is a discussion about chocolate, you're all wrong, Swiss chocolate is the best, though Hershey Symphony bars aren't bad, they don't use buttermilk in them like they do the rest of their chocolate, which is why it has the acidic taste to it

>>7085258
As if a biscuit stick covered in cheap chocolate is anything better...You have no taste

Just got back from Dragon Con, the worst thing I saw was two people open-mouth making out against a wall... directly in front of one of the bridges that connects two of the host hotels, so that throngs of hundreds of people had to see them as they shuffled by.

That was the worst I saw though. I consider myself lucky.

>>7085248
I agree, I think ppeppero has less wax in it, or something?

>>7085319
Yes, that's the name of it! It actually tastes like chocolate, Pocky just tastes like sugar to me.

>>7085225
The chcolate is terrible, I like the strawberry or the more elaborate ones. They're like less salty frosted pretzels, that crunchy texture and sweetness. They're convienent to eat, no sticky fingers. And they make good coffee treats cus you can stir them around in it.

My high school's anime club sold Pocky for fundraisers and it was a huge seller. Majority of the kids didn't even know it was Japanese, they just liked it and it was cheap.

>>7085225
I love how there's this massive discussion about the elegance of chocolate but dude..
The reason "people" love Pocky so much is because it's Japanese and cheap (ie. easier to obtain).
And possibly also because anime characters do the kawaii yaoi Pocky game.

But seriously, it has nothing to do with actual taste or design.

>>7085346
We know that, we just like discussing chocolate

>>7085344
Also might I add, American chocolate of equivalent price is really not any better flavor wise. Walmart has Pocky for $1, the only American candy bar with higher quality chocolate for the same price is Dove bars. Honestly when I actually want good chocolate I have to either pay up for a higher price one, go search for some Cadbury, or beg my mom to ship over some cheapo German imports from Aldis (yummy hazelnutty candy and same price as Hershey, but it seems to only be an East Coast store)

is this a weeaboo horror story thread or a chocolate thread.

>>7085355

either way we're flushing the hambeasts out of the woodwork.

>>7085355
Chocolate, Duh.

>>7084822
>weeabo horror stories
>Will yaoi for pocky
>Pocky sucks
>End thread

Why you dis?

Every con I go to, I always leave with some girl thinking that I'm their soulmate because I'm average looking and enjoy anime/doctor who/pokemon/have a tumblr/ect

>>7085426
I hate you and everything you stand for.

>>7085430
well you're a doo-doo head yourself sir or madam

>>7085436
yeah well you're a dinosaur fart

>>7085462
kid i'll eat you're pancakes

>>7085501
>>7085462
>>7085430
>>7085436
y'all need to stahp being such farty faces k?

>go to college, have no animu/mango friends
>see a girl with anime merch, figure 'hey, this could be a chance to make a friend'
>tfw she lights up and is obviously a giant weeb
>"the hetalia dub is better because their voices sound like there is more passion in them!"
>"you cosplay too? look so do I!" (is a shitty closet cosplay ginjika)
>"i looooooove attack on titan!!! XDDDDddd"
>everything she says is closer to a scream than a statement
>few weeks later, attend anime club
>shes in the back yelling, making awful commentary and arguing with her weeb friends about dubs
>also mad we're not watching fma or some shit
>jfc

>>7085225
This sooo much. I mean it doesn't compare at all to the chocolate you can get in your average supermarket. M&Ms and Mars all the way.

>>7085522
>that feel
>that feel when you have Madoka keychains and you just want someone to be a weeb with you
>that feel when all the weebs around you only like hetalia, and homestuck (wtf? that's not kawaii)
>I want to make contract

>>7085631
>all of my friends are into different animu than me.
>I can't weeb out with them because they're not interested in the series I am

let's make a contract together, anon.

>>7084864
Was this girl's name "Kayla" by chance?
Or do two of these creatures exist?

>>7085232
Dis, all of this comment.

>>7085889
>Implying we can't get that shit here

>>7085631
>(wtf? that's not kawaii)
I know I don't get why it's so popular, at least hetalia was sort of good.

>>7085896
Cadbury is shit, Dairy Milk is shit, Nestle kill fucking babies and still taste not so great.
American chocolate seems to taste like puke, but I've only had Hersheys.
Lindt, Lindor and Milka seem to be the only brands I like. I hate my life, I want to pig out on 60p chocolate bars like all the other cretins!

>>7085896
What. I don't even know what you think I'm implying.

>>7085905
Lindt and lindor are the same thang.

>>7085905
Try Ghirardelli

Living in Germany feels great because no matter what chocolate I try it always tastes great and does not cost much. Swedish chocolate tastes good as well. I think it's called Marabou.

Anyways is it just on German meet ups or do those crazy yaoi girls dry humping each other pretending to be their favorite anime boys or J-Rock band members? Also there are always those people who act like they are some cursed psycho schizo vamps.

>>7085905
>American chocolate seems to taste like puke, but I've only had Hersheys.
Pff. No, that's a Hersheys specific thing. You have tons of other choices, the solution can be found by googling for the answer. First three are the most common of the better brands where I am.

Lindt & Sprüngli, Ghiradelli, Godiva, Guylian, Perugina, Ethel's Chocolate, Richart, La Maison du Chocolat, NOKA chocolate, neuhaus, Chuao Chocolatier

>>7085978
whatever chocolate they use for the Cadbury MINI eggs (NOT THE BIG ONES, NOT THE SAME CHOCOLATE) is fucking amazing

it's just chocolate in an egg shape with a really thin sugar shell, no gross filling, oh god they are so damn good they come in these little purple packages and I want some right now ugggghhhhh

>>7085980
I've never tried those. I'm not a fan of those bigger cadbury eggs, but I'll have to look out for the mini ones now.

Now I want chocolate... Fuck, I was just at the store today, I should have gotten some while I was there.

>>7085969
All yaoi girls are like that, it's not just the ones in your area.

>>7085243
This. I'm from Europe and we like our chocolate sweet, not sour like the 'mmuricans. I've tasted a lot of American chocolates and yes, they all taste like vomit because of the sourness. I guess it has to something to do with using buttermilk instead of regular milk or something? Japanese chocolate is very similar to European so pocky is actually quite good.

>>7085969
but in Germany they wear shoes on their hands when it gets cold and I hear the doctors sing songs

>>7086001
Ew, no. What American chocolates have you tasted? If it's all the big gross brands, that would be why they taste like vomit.

Australian chocolate both from the big brands and also private chocolatiers is delicious. I also don't mind Pocky or Hello Pandas (I prefer these), I like the strawberry flavours the best but I always have. Mmm strawberry Dunkaroos, I agree about some of the other comments about American chocolate. When I was on holiday in America I tried some chocolate but it was very different to what I was used to, much less sweet and the ones that were sweet were super sweet. I remember tying Hershey's and thinking it tasted bitter.

Has anyone eaten Carlos V chocolates?

I like those very much, especially after putting them in the freezer and they turn out all nice and cold on a hot day~

>>7085980
oh my god, yes, I buy like 10 bags of those around easter time and eat them constantly. so good

my favourite chocolates are from Milka, Bensdorp and Lindt.
I've tasted a Hershey's bar and Reese's Peanut Buttercups once... I liked the cups a lot but the chocolate itself really wasn't my taste.

>>7085978
>>7085915
Thanks for the heads up, I'll try it.
>>7085909
I know what, so I don't know what I was trying to say before. Oops.

>>7086001
>>7085243
>>7085978
I like how common the relation between puke and Hersheys is, why haven't they done something about that?

And don't get me started on Kinnerton. They're the big company that do all of the character/band brand easter eggs and christmas calendars and it all tastes like cardboard.

>>7086205
I'd still rather eat Kinnerton than Hersheys.

>>7086205
I relate Hersey to puke because of that slime that builds up in your mouth if you eat a lot of it and it reminds me of bile. Anyway, I don't eat it anymore after I made that disgusting parallel.

And it's like... You get to that point where you try to spit or clean out your mouth and it's just viscous chocolate drool. Ugh I'm gagging just remembering it.

>was weaboo
>now a fucking chocolate debate
fucking...

>>7086216
Holy shit why the fuck would you remind me of what Hersheys is like
Oh god I think I'm going to vomit

>>7084893
Literal circle jerk lol

>>7084893
This is why I go to cons.

It's like a circus freakshow but costs far less to attend!

>>7086216
>eating chocolate at all
Do you even lift?

>>7085878
I am afraid her name was Christina.

>>7086263
>implying occasional chocolate is in any way bad

>>7085969
Oh man you can get Marabou where I am, it's fucking great. I think Milka and Ritter Sport are my favourite chocolate, though. Cadbury's used to be alright but lately it's started tasting cheaper somehow. Like, I always thought the multipack Dairy Milk bars tasted like shit (although everybody else I know swears there's no difference and I'm just being a snob) and lately the regular bars are starting to taste more and more like them.
Sage because chocolate is not weeaboos.

This just happened a couple days ago, I guess it's not really a story or anything, but here. If only to get the thread a little on track again.
He deleted the post soon after his last comment and I forgot to screencap it, so I thought it was lost. Turns out I suddenly got emails from facebook posts again and cobbled this together.

>>7086287
>Cadbury's used to be alright but lately it's started tasting cheaper somehow.
I agree. Something about them has changed, it's not just you.

>>7086302
Crazy people, 'indigo children/people' is only a thing because people want to feel special.

>>7086302
That dude sounds a lot like someone I know, Brandon.

/cgl/, please never change. I love how we randomly starts discussing chocolate with great passion. <3

>>7085897
it's not even animu.. why do weebs like it? idgi

>>7085232
But Cadburys is American now.

It's also shit. Galaxy is where it's at.

>>7085631
homestuck is the bane of my existence

>>7086408
>not eating glorious Kinder chocolate

>>7085905
Milka's only a pound, though. Sometimes 50p if you get the double packs from Poundland.

>>7086287
>>7086303
see >>7086408
Cadburys is now owned by Kraft.

>>7086412
Kinder's pretty good, but it's super expensive for the amount you get. Happy Hippos are the best thing ever, though.

>>7086217
>thread now about chocolate
>/cgl/ is full of fatties
Sounds about right to me.

[spoiler]I know Lindt and other fancy chocolate brands are "better", but I just can't help the fact that Cadbury's is my favourite. At one low, low point in my life, I was binging on one large bar of Cadbury's a day (as in, not the regular bar, not the one up from regular bars, the one up from that.) I only ever purged after I binged on greasy burgers and shit though, chocolate didn't leave me feeling too disgusting.

>go to con
>/cgl/ meetup
>meetup is a bunch of landwhales
>goddammit they fit the stereotype
>want to have fun discussion with them
>pull out chocolate pocky that I got at a discount at the dealer's room
>they all glare at me
>one of them calls me a pleb for not liking lindt chocolate
>seagulls now talking about chocolate
>I pull chocolate from germany out of my bag
>they look at me like they've never eaten a day in their lives and I just pulled out a big juicy steak
>oh god
>one girl about to pounce on me
>other takes handcrafted PT statue out of her purse and starts beating the girl who was going to pounce on me over the head with it
>other seagulls pull out phones, take photos, and go on cgl to talk about how much dramacows the other choco-crazed seagulls were
>they look at me
>begin typing rapidly on their phones
>nope the fuck out of there
later
>log into /cgl/
good two paragraphs of drama about how I was a dumb weeaboo pleb that had a chocolate fetish
>never again

>>7086216
Ugh, I think that's my main reason I just cannot do Hershey's. It has the texture of chalk (especially if it's old; it literally turns to powder), and that coating of your mouth- gag. I can only eat American chocolate if it's something like Twix or KitKat, and I've never had that chocolate drool with those like what happens with Hershey's.
I demolish some Ferrero Rocher balls, and Lindt truffles, though.

Hershey's is only good for s'mores.

Sage'in.

>Murica will never know the taste of this

the only part of easter i look forward to are those reese's PB eggs.

I've had good German chocolate and I've had plenty of American chocolate. Yeah, they're different, but I honestly still like American chocolate.

>>7085225
I've never liked Pocky. The last con I went to some girls were being really nice to me and said "Do you want some Pocky?!", I said yes because I didn't want to be rude. It's still sitting in my purse, I don't want to be wasteful and throw it away but I just don't like the taste of it. It is weird to me because Japanese candy is supposed to be extremely flavorful because they only eat one piece at a time, but for some reason weebs pick the most bland Japanese candy there is as their go to choice. wat

>>7085426
Oh god, I always see guys/girls dressed like guys like you around at every con I go to, girls wanting to take pictures with you and trying to come up with conversation starters. I like to just sit there and watch weeby girls try to creep on some poor guy like yourself, thankfully I've never witnessed one do anything so horrible that I've felt the need to help out or anything though.

>>7086475
Ferroro Rochers and Lindts are really fucking good.

Really though, Murrican chocolate is shit. You would think Canada and America would have the same type of chocolate, but NOPE. Every time I cross the border, I just stay far far away from their chocolate. The texture is what gets to be most, it's so... dry.

>>7086450
>[spoiler]
You suck at hiding your new

>>7086450
>4chan is full of fatties
every board calls every board fat summerfaggot.

Today the leader of my schools anime club called me a "cultured little shit" from telling him how to pronounce manga.

>>7087017
punch him out.

>>7085878
if she went to school in chicago I know who that is, anon

>>7087017
Lel.

>>7087017
the funny thing is, I say manga correctly, but fuck me I'm never going to say Ah-nee-mei for anime

>>7086263
nope, I never said I did lol

>GONNA USE DIS MAY MAY FINALLY GRUNT GRUNT

person I know
>changed their name to something japanese because they thought their birth name was stupid
>is heavily communist despite somehow being christian
>refers to her comics as "manga" because "'comic' means something with color and superheroes, which my manga don't have"

not really a horror story but
>go out today
>meet up with friend from highschool, her friends are around
>we sit around talking
>talk about con horror stories, I retell a couple in this thread including some of my own
>one girl stops and tells me she recognizes me from /cgl/
>mfw

>>7086302
oh my god that's hilarious but i lost it at "namaste"

>>7086302
>>7087366
yeah the spirit science stuff is pretty wild and has a kind of big following as far as I know

it reminded me of Lain for some reason, but not in a cool way

>>7086414
>Poundland

Is that anywhere near Pound Town?

>>7087340
>one girl stops and tells me she recognizes me from /cgl/
How terrifying. I already have issues with awkwardness in social situations, I don't know what I would do if someone recognized me from stories on here.

Probably slink down under the table and roll outta there. It's bad that that of all things is my first instinct.

I need to get out more.

>>7086336
...last name start with a w?

>>7087122
I still refuse to call it anything but Japanimation

>>7087715
omg hahahaha

>>7087559
Possibly? What's Pound Town?

>>7087158
>implying Jesus wasn't communist

>>7087686
>>7086336
I didn't take note of his name, but the facebook name began with a W, so maybe?

>>7086499
>knows the flavor of that
My grandma travels and brought me some. All other chocolate makes me want to cry

>>7084893

>One of them is undoing their pants
nope.jpg

>The others in the circle were undoing their pants too

seriously.jpg


*if they were older than 18
At this point I would let them know this is a public place. If this behaviour continues pictures/video will be taken. It will be sent directly to those that would profit most from their actions.

Namely Parents/significant others/Grandparents/professors/potential employers

pic related/
>what happens to my eyes after seeing this.

>>7087158

>is heavily communist despite somehow being christian

The fuck?

Are you Joseph McCarthy?

Are you scared of the reds?


Comminism = form of governance
Christianity = form of religion

They are not mutually exclusive and in reality can happen at the same time.

>>7086987
I hear that legally to be able to call the thing your producing chocolate you have to have a certain percentage of cacao in the mix. Apparently in Europe the percentage you have to have is higher, as cacao is so expensive they put less in American chocolate because they can.

I can't remember where I heard this though maybe it's bull shit.

>>7087715
>tfw when I call it that ironically
>it suddenly becomes the new term used by the local anime club
Good thing I'm transferring to a University closer to home. I'll miss you Super Arcade, but fuck that school.

>>7089074
Cacao percentage is important but isn't really a tell all sign of good quality chocolate. The higher the percentage is the more bitter it is, and I believe anything higher than 70% is considered dark chocolate instead of milk. Although I could be wrong on that percentage.

>>7089524
That sounds about right, actually.

>>7089012
Except communism involved getting rid of religion.

Nay, 'tis thou who is in fact the retard my sir. At this moment I feel euphoric in my rebuttal. Fare thee well, ignoramus..

>>7087017
To be perfectly honest, you shouldn't lecture people on how to pronounce things "correctly" in general, especially in English. The language is constructed in such a way that pronunciation in ambiguous. It would be like me lecturing people on how to say "latte" or "espresso" in perfect Italian. The point is, when speaking English, it's incredibly obnoxious (and can come off as pretentious) if you randomly switch your pronunciation in the middle of a sentence to say a foreign word.

>go to school
>kid: "OMG AHANIA U CAN SIT WITH ME"
>beggars can't be choosers
>kid and friend start talking about cosplay
>surprised to hear the word irl in my tiny town
>"what're you cosplaying?"
>"merlin (a uk tv fantasy drama) and akeetah nehru from vocaloid"
>shows me ipod full of nothing vocaloid and utau songs
>i really pity and empathise with them ;~;

>>7089085
>tfw I use the term "man muscle" jokingly to refer to the male genitalia
>tfw some weeb I know uses that because she's afraid to say "penis"

>>7085426
>girls believing you are their soulmate the second they meet you
>girls not dating you for a while before sex
>
I'm not blaming you, I'm just trying to figure out these girls' logic.

>>7089679
because they're desperate as fuck and seem to not understand that there's more to a relationship than similar interests. Then there's some girls who think sleeping with a guy as soon as possible will make the guy like them. That or they just enjoy sex.

>>7089692
>Then there's some girls who think sleeping with a guy as soon as possible will make the guy like them. That or they just enjoy sex.
Sadly, most at conventions are more of the former type than the latter.

So at A-Kon 24 it was getting pretty late and the food court was just calling to me. I'm in my Harley costume walking with my boyfriend who doesn't cosplay but enjoys conventions.

As I walk to the food court I look to my right and one of the workers behind the counter looks horrified, I follow her line of sight and see a big circle in the corner of the food court full of a mixture of weeaboos.

Old weeaboos
Young weeaboos
Loud weeaboos
Neko weeaboos
Weeaboos that you could smell a mile away.

Then I see a bottle.

My boyfriend and I just freeze, it's like a train wreck. We can't stop looking.

They spin the bottle and some 15 year old guy in a garbage sack looking Organization VIII cloak jumps up and this girl dressed as Cilan damn near tackle each other to the ground and suck face.

>HEY HARLEY, COME JOIN THE PARTY WE HAVE A JOKER

I clutch onto my boyfriend's hand.

>COME ON HARLEY

I say no and my boyfriend and I walk away and sit at a safe distance but still watch in horror. I saw girls squealing in joy as two guys made out. The worst one I saw was a girl that looked no older than 13 exchange saliva with a guy that had greasy grey hair and wrinkles.

>>7084864
I remember a girl like that in my high school
She used to draw Neopets on paper and cover her books with that and she always tried to talk to me when she found out I watched annie mays and eventually BL

She always used to put on this creepy voice when she wanted to talk about ukes~ and semes~ and I was legit creeped out

Sometime in senior year she told everyone she was a lesbian and would ask people if they were going to the Mardi Gras and she'd go around being umcomfortably close to people and such and we were an all girls school mind you

She now has a boyfriend twice her age

>be in school
>my class merged with this other class, other class consists of 95% weebs
>in math class, we do the "say your name and something you like doing"-thing to get to know the new students
>most of the weebs say normal shit, probably sensing that it's not the right time to try to explain animu or mango to the rest of the class
>but this one girl
>really really fat
>wore only sweatpants or tracksuits but with Death Note or Naruto bags
>acne everywhere, short hair dyed black and then never touching up the roots, resulting in greasy half black-blonde-brown mess
>it comes to her turn to introduce herself
>"Hi, my name is ___ and I like cosplay!!!!"
>nobody knows what cosplay is
>she doesn't say anything more
>teacher asks what cosplay is
>she stands up and starts a fucking lecture about what cosplay is and how amazing and fun it is and everybody doing it is the best and how we mere normal mortals cannot understand this superior nihonese thing
>her weeb friends looked embarrassed

it takes a new level of weeb to make other weebs embarrassed. I thankfully never had to do a group project with these people. I would have killed myself.

>>7089726
Oh and she never showered at all nor changed clothes during our three day school camp and whenever we had dress ups for School Founder's Day or something, she'd always try to dress in something skimpy despite just hitting a 2/10

>In middle school, terribly stereotypical weeb
>Lots of anime/manga, LARPing during recess, circle of weirdos, bad self insert fanfics and mangas, japanese words and talk of going to japan some day
>Even wore cat ears and tail to school every day for a while
(Which, by the way, is against the rules there and it's all my fault. School was fairly new at the time this stuff happened)
>Others start joining in
>Cats mostly, some dogs, the only boy liked cows so he had cow ears/tail
>All of this thanks to Tokyo Mew Mew from around 5th grade
>mfw they probably all viewed us as nasty furries even though we all hated furries ourselves

>Some kids in primary look up to us
>One looks up to me in particular
>One day, I finally get tired of the cat gear. I notice a girl walk by with a bright pink with leopard print leotard on
>Notices me, runs up. She's wearing cat ears/tail too.
>mfw this is the girl that looks up to me for some reason
>mfw I triggered something terrible in her that I just got out of myself
>mfw that fucking leotard

>Approach her every so often and kindly nudge her towards not wearing that thing anymore, "You don't want to be an outcast, please stop this"
>"But anon, you knew that and you wore what you wanted anyways! I want to be like you!"
>She wears it every day, her mom begs me to help her snap her out of it, she won't take it off except for when it needs to be washed
>Nothing helps, she continues for a year. Others don't want to be around her solely because of the damn leotard.

>Eventually stops, thank god
>Immediately starts wearing lolita to school, which introduces me to it. Like it but have no money, otherwise would have joined her back then.
>At least it isn't ita and cat ears and hot pink leotards anymore, so whatever, not worried

So there's that. Now it's ruined for any future weaboos there. The staff got so pissed off at us running around in that weaboo shit and it not being in uniform that it's banned even during Halloween.

>>7084822
I want to eat that button. It looks sweet!

>>7085225
frozen hello panda all the way. always buy it at daiei

>>7089744
will try frozen... enjoy them too much room temp anyway though

>>7089530
But you know that they are tons of communist theories, not only the soviet one, right?

Okay this isn't a horror story, but a few people have mentioned how they embarassed themselves in school.

>be in 11th grade english
>decent at hiding power levels
>still like to show weebness sometimes with anime binders or t-shirts
>doing some sort of "circular story" in class
>have to write a few sentences to continue a story
>its about a ninja or something
>decide that adding in him saying "gomenasai" for intruding would be kind of cool
>why did I think this

>teacher is reading through circular story
>in front of whole class, everyone added a part
>gets to "gomenasai" from my part
> "go.... men.... what??"
> looks straight at me, so does everyone else
> she was a young teacher and a cunt so starts making it a big joke
> i mumble "it means sorry" and she stares at me like i'm brain damaged
> finally continues story

I wanted to die. God, I hated that teacher. She had no place to be such a bitch, either, she loved Hitchhiker's Guide and made everyone bring in a towel one day.

>>7089732
You made that way too long, cut out the details in the future.
Short and snappy = funny

But hey, high five!
I also got stuff banned in my school by dressing like weeb paedobait.

This story isn't as bad as some of the others, but it's still pretty messed up

>Be at con some years ago, I usually only go for the cosplay show and I'm not really that interested in the other stuff
>Go to gameroom with some friends anyway, hanging out having fun
>Is wearing normal clothing but also a rainbow skirt, cause why not, where else would I ever use it
>A big group of weaboos enter the room, one of the BO chubby groups of stereptypical con freaks, all of them in really badly mixed pink and rainbow
>Just keep playing games with my friends
>The group comes over to the game we are playing and asks if they can play pretty politely, and since weve been sitting there a long time we say yes and get up
>one of the fat girls SCREAM really really loud, it echoed in the hall and everybody stared, sounded like somebody was stabbed
>WHERE DID YOU GET THAT RAINBOW SKIRT
>Tell her I got it from a friend who made it herself
>Demand to know homepage to buy it on
>I tell her again my friend who is good at sewing gave it as a gift to me
>She literally wont let me leave and keeps demanding to know everything about it like its the most important thing ever
>I tell her look Ive told you already, let me leave
>She tells me 50 bucks for the skirt
>I say no and want to leave
>She starts crying. Im not joking, she cried and went MEEEEEEEEH and did the classic "cat paw sadness"
>Really awkward, everybody is staring
>Her friends begin calling me names and saying "dont worry the mean mean ugly lady is just being stupid
>All of my wtf is going on, quickly leave with my friends
>Have normal con from there
>After show, is in cosplay because I entered the cosplayshow
>See the same weabo coming over to me
>Le fear
>She says my cosplay is amazing and asks where I bought it
>The whole fucking thing repeats and I dont even think she regonized me from yesterday

How to make short entry....

>go to this church
>only go to it to meet my friends
>see my friend's ex best friend
>she's a giant weeb
>brought a laptop to church
>has naruto porn on it
>shows everyone her porn
>all while playing loud dubstep
>also asks my mom to make her cosplays for free even though we all hate her

Her Skype status: "I CAN BE A GUY. I CAN BE A GIRL. I'M GENDERQUEER. Remeber, I ain't your average/normal/regualr girl."

Why?

>>7089810
Sounds like pretty much your average tumblr user

>Be in 9th grade
>Finally find friends who like anime/video games
>Open up, stop hiding as much
>Meet this girl via a new friend
>300 lbs, smells, hube weeb, ect ect.
>"Anon you're soo cute!!"
>Fuckin'
>Transfers to my last class, sits behind me
>Always bugs me when I try to work
>One day "anon, you ever had sex?"
>"... yes. Why is that important?"
>Well, I wanted to know if you wanted to with me."
>NOPE
>Bell rings
>Leave very quickly
>Get a new teacher

She still calls herself 'panda', is the biggest whore in our town, and has gained like 50lbs

>>7089846
why do all 200+ pound weebs think that people will actually want to have sex with them? or think that people actually have a crush on them? it's a common trend in most weeb stories... Like seriously, that shit ain't attractive, especially when combined with poor hygiene...

>>7086475
....what kind of hersheys chocolate are you eating? jesus christ lol it shouldn't have a "chalk" texture at all.

>>7089903
You know, they did have that hersheys air "fluffy" chocolate thing for a while. That shit was just like chalk from the start. Disgusting.

If they weren't eating that, it may have been old hersheys bars. Old cheap chocolate does that.

>>7089788
Normally I do better. I haven't slept in 24 hours so that's likely what the deal is today.

>I also got stuff banned in my school by dressing like weeb paedobait.
My nigga!

>mfw i'm op
>mfw a weeb horror story thread derails to /cgl/ talking about chocolate
>mfw i made the ultimate weeb horror thread

>>7089854
I also wonder this. I've been 47kg since high school, and all throughout, even until now, I'm self conscious as hell. Where do these large weebs get this self confidence?

>>7090136
tumblr

>>7089744
I gt introduced to this after winning some at a con trivia thing. Its like a godtier version of my favorite peanut butter pretzel snack.

>>7089762
she was explicitly a leninist communist

>>7090115
should've known better than to use anything related to pocky in the pic, op

>>7090136
>47kg

Just how fucking short are you if you think that's fat?

>>7090136
The alternative is incredibly, incredibly depressing.

I should know, and I'm not even hamplanet.

>>7089780
I'm sorry that your teacher was a bitch, but she also sounds awesome for the Hitch Hiker's Guide think

>>7089727
Well that sounds very gross and awful neopets? wtf was she like 12 at the time?

The girl I knew she wasn't "gross" like she wasn't fat and she did wash but the fact that she would change sexuality like it was socks and go in and out of genders as well as being annoyingly weeaboo Is what really made me mad.

I've told this in /co/, but it's been a while since I've told it. In middle school, I was part of a girl scout troop, my mom was troop leader. For a while everything was great, then Kitty joined. She was about twice the size of me, height and weight, and her hair was disgustingly dirty. Her mom became the co-leader after the old one quit. We became friends because we were the only ones interested in anime, although I was more into Dragonball Z and things like that while she was obsessed with Sailor Moon, Hamtaro, and Tokyo Mew Mew.

Her whole family was very strange. I went to spend the night at her house once, and the only drinks they had was flavored water, and her room was covered in pages she had printed of her favorite characters and wouldn't stop talking about her shojo manga she wanted to make when she would move to Japan. But she wasn't too bad until the beach trip. Both her parents and my mom went, with her parents providing transportation. They refused to stop for a bathroom break on the four hour trip, wouldn't let any of us drink anything in the car because we might spill something (until my mom saw Kitty being handed a drink by her mom, and ordered the car to be stopped so everyone could get drinks), her dad hit on my mom constantly (both of them being married, and him being way below my moms league). Kitty was forced to stay in a different room after she tried walking around naked because "We're all girls, so it's okay" (no, it wasn't, nobody wanted to see that), and they just were constantly being awful and skeevy the whole trip. Mom stopped doing Girl Scouts after the trip, and I lost contact with the other scouts.

Years later, I saw her in high school (our district had classes where people could attend from any school). She looked the same, but larger, and went by her last name and apparently had a baby brother. She was still very, very into anime and obnoxious. Luckily she never recognized me because I looked so different.

>>7090521
155cm short. I'm pretty average, which is why I was wondering where this weeb confidence comes from, considering they sound terrible through anon description.

Anybody have horror stories about inviting online people/strangers into your room for room sharing?

>tfw when i want to go to my local anime club just so I'll have stories to tell.

>>7090909
Oh god I'm about to be one of those strangers
I hope my mystery roomie isn't terrible

this happened thursday not sure if it counts but its something
>go to class
>kid openly announces he likes anime
>doesn't look like a neckbear at all, fashionable, well groomed
>talk to him after class
>ask him about local con
>tells me he went cosplaying as sasuke from naruto
uhhhh
>tell /cgl/
>/cgl/ tells me to stop being a judgemental bitch and to try to ignore it
ok
>next class
>he gets in front of the whole art class to show how artsy and creative he was
>shows the class how he made sasuke's armbands out of two wigcaps
>class doesn't know what the fuck he's talking about
>he explains "cosplay is when you dress like an anime character."
>so much second hand emberassement, actually facepalming
>after class
>he asks me if I want to carpool to awa to save costs
>turns out he's a good friend of one of my really close friends, so whatever, if she can trust him, so can I
>exchange numbers
>he calls me 2 minutes later
>asks me if he can come over and fuck
>tell him I have a boyfriend
>he asks me to describe what things I do with my boyfriend
>wont stop
>turns out he has a girlfriend
YOU TOLD ME TO TRUST HIM /CGL/ GODDAMMIT

>>7090941
>tfw I'm about to be a host for one of those strangers

I want to scare myself into not following through. Never hosted before.

>>7090942
Time to nope the fuck outta there, or just avoid/ignore him.

>>7090936
>Tfw want to do the same but no anime club to go to
I'm not sure why my college doesn't have one, it's full of weebs. They're always taking up space in the cafeteria, all hours of the day. I wonder if they even go to school here at all.

>>7090942
I'd feel bad, but you're the bitch kept insisting we have /acg/s shit up /cgl/ so I think this is a justified ending.

After all, if you don't like this guy, you can always ignore him, right?

>>7090942
>>exchange numbers
>>he calls me 2 minutes later
>>asks me if he can come over and fuck
Like, abruptly said "can I come over and have sex?" or what?

>>7090942
Gurl, that's crepe

.
>>7090965
don't worry I don't like you either, you're that bitch that goes out of her way to complain about shit she doesn't like if she doesn't seem "worthy" enough.
but yeah, after I found out he had a girlfriend, I said "how come your girlfriend isn't going to the con" over text, and he hasn't spoken to me since.

>>7090949
I ended up getting pepper spray and a taser after that

>>7090976
*creepy

wow autocorrect, you really did it this time.

>>7090965
>After all, if you don't like this guy, you can always ignore him, right?
If it were really that easy, this board would be lacking in horror stories.

>>7086001
That's when there's actual chocolate there. I once bought a Meiji Black bar expecting, as was implied by the packaging, decent chocolate. Instead I got bullshit closer to Balmers or Palmers or whatever garbage is made out of fat and wax around easter

>>7086194
Have you had Ritter?

>>7086513
They're amazing

>>7090972
his exact words were
"can I come over?"
"I'm kinda pervy just to let you know, so I'd be open to doing that kind of stuff"
"actually that's the whole reason I want to come over."

no fucking small talk or anything, the man got straight to the point.

>>7090977
But Nia, I like you.

Especially because I think you're about to learn a lesson in respecting boundaries.

>>7089810
My favorite part of this story is that she brought all this Naruto porn to a church.

>>7089854
How did Honey Boo Boo's mom bear like 3 kids with 3 different fathers if she looks like a hamplanet with narcolepsy?

>>7091164

Ya need a shrink, m8.

>>7090942
>going to AWA
>first con for me
>reads this and others
So just a bunch of people like my ex......wonderful.

>>7091207
Alcohol

>>7091207

Trash have no standards.

>>7091207
Quite a few guys don't have standards, and don't care where pussy comes from.

So uh. This one's not very succinct.

>Old Internet friend says she needs a place to crash for a while, while she gets on her feet and finds her own place
>Agree out of pity
>Turns out she's gained a 100lbs of weeb in the past eight years, hard times should grow her out of it
>She's on disability for alleged agorophobia on top of being disabled and Autistic, news to me, no big deal, free rent money from the government
>Refuses to buy her own groceries
>Refuses to buy her own toiletries
>Doesn't use the toiletries we buy her
>Doesn't shower
>Eats everyone else's food
>Puts half a stick of butter on sandwiches and wonders why she's fat
>Refuses to cook
>Talks about wanting to fuck everyone in the house
>Everyone else in the house cosplays, so she wants to cosplay too
>Wants to wear Lolita but doesn't fit XXL American clothes
>Decides on cosplaying fem!Yami from Yu-Gi-Oh
>For some reason this includes a skintight outfit and miniskirt from Torrid
>...And tights that don't reach her crotch
>Wears this to the con and gets pictures taken anyway
>Humiliates everyone by proxy
>Has no problem with 21,000+ strangers at con
>Stinks up the room with beached whale smell
>Fast forward a few months
>Turns out she hasn't been looking for her own place at all since she got here
>Refuses to stay on her medication
>Refuses to go to the doctor
>Keeps talking about how I'm going to buy a house so she can have her own room (since she's been sleeping on the floor and couch most of the time)
>Finally talk to her about how she's not on the lease and needs to find her own place per our original agreement
>Suddenly she's suicidal and too disabled to live on her own
>"But Neesan you promised to take care of me for the rest of my life!" No I did not
>Threaten to get her institutionalized
>Discover she not only hasn't done laundry or brushed her teeth in nine months, but that she's also been masturbating on shared furniture
>Kick her the fuck out
>Still trying to get the smell out of the couch

>>7090961
>>7090936
you'll go along and won't see anything worthy of being a horror story, but you'll be extra judgemental on the lookout for a totally cool weeb story to tell all the cool Bros on /cgl/ so they'll love you and give you attention. You'll make mountains out of molehills just so you can have your story.

the best horror stories are ones you don't go looking for.

>>7086302


You know... As someone who actually has a belief in metaphysics, I kind of feel bad for him. Then again, he was posting it in an inappropriate place, and my believe in energies comes from things I can see. (That I can't argue I might need t be on meds for.) So, to all of the people who don't see swirling colorful energy around everyone that they look at (Not drug induced, mind you), this is utter bullshit. Also, I'm probably fucking crazy. Repeat, probably fucking crazy. I would not be offend if I found out that the shit I see really doesn't exist, because at least then I'd know it was imaginary.

I have a couple of cringe stories from my new job.

>Working as a distance education tutor at a private university
> My office is next to a campus classroom
> Only female tutor on campus
> Dude lets himself into my office in a pikachu kigurumi yelling "Pika Pika"
> Actively ignore him, he keeps doing it until I look at him
> Leaves as soon as I acknowledge his fucking bullshit.

> Ita walking around outside my office looking in the window
> I look over
> Very deliberately squeaks loudly and does some bullshit chipmunk thing with her hands

> Fat motherfucker walks into my office without knocking, and yells "Which one of you derps is Anon"
> I tell him that's me
> He leaves, I hear his friends telling him he didn't have to yell.
> Hear him chastising his friends for "Not letting him be himself"
> I still don't know what the fuck he wanted.

> Kid tells me he was recently released from a mental asylum because he was convinced he was god
>40 year old man asks if I make house calls for "Struggling students"
> 35 year old dude tries to sell me a bong and talks about my radiant smile.

I have only been here 3 weeks. I need an adult.

>>7091480
Okay I'm really curious now, mind sharing the kind of things you can see? Not judging, just perpetually curious anon here

>>7085243
This retard probably had dark chocolate, or is just trying to hard in the anti America department.

>>7085905
I've gotten chocolate in 4 different countries and they all taste the same with little difference.

>>7091480
I get the same thing, it's called migraine aura. You can get them with or without the headache part of the migraine. See a neurologist or migraine specialist of theres one in your area.

>>7091530
Are you stupid? Dark chocolate is actually good, for one thing.
I'm sorry your taste buds are so fucking dilapidated that you can't tell when confections literally taste like bile.

I've posted this one on here before, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it again cause why the fuck not. Even though its a long time ago it still fucking haunts me.
I'll make it as short as possible cause these long ass stories are just too much to read 4chan standard. Shit I've already made this too long.

>Go to convention some years ago
>Enter cosplayshow in completely white gown, everything snowwhite and pretty wide hoopskirt
>The smallest backstage cosplay area ever, we are having trouble fitting all together and my costume prooves really annoying in such a small space
>Cosplay girl laying her wings on the floor in the middle of everything
>Accidentally swoop bottom of dress over said wings and drag them a few inches, I did not even step on them with my feet
>Who would even lay wings/props/anything in the middle of the floor on such a crowded area anyway
>Girls go BATSHIT INSANE on me and yells that I could have broken them
>Apologizes, and since nothing happened I think thats it
>Nope, she yells and gets tears in her eyes
>I dont understand this kind of overreaction, her wings are unharmed
>I tell her this over and over, she calls me a douchebag for not caring
>Girl keeps on yelling at me like crazy, in the end I just turn around to walk away, I have nothing more to say
>Girl yells HEY WAIT at me, I turn around automatically
>Girl pours a glass of coke on my white dress
>What the fuck. Just what the fuck.
>My white cosplay is ruined
>Go on stage anyway with a white sheet around my waist to cover up coke
>Looks retarded
>Girl gets banned from con the rest of the day and from the cosplayshow aswell but I still see her the next morning at the con, how did she not get kicked completely
>To this day I still do not get this overreaction

My mission to make this short failed

>>7085232
>>implying Cadbury doesn't dry at the back of your throat and stick to your palette.

Nestlé pls. Dat creamy texture and consistency.

>>7085248
Yes! And much, much cheaper too.

>>Dat almond/ peanut peppero.

>>7091633
I remember that story. Good lord I would have sunk my man fists into her god damn face.

I never told /cgl/ this, I used to ride around on an ATV with a samurai sword on my property in PA when I was 14. I would hold it out and cut the shit out of bushes and shrubbery while going full speed. Then my mom caught me and said it's either the ATV or the sword. I chose the sword.

>>7086408
>>But Cadbury is American now

Don't remind me, Anon.
>>Dat Birmingham pride.

>>7091649

Really? I didn't care for peppero, especially the chocolate/strawberry, it didn't have enough coating so the biscuit felt particularly dry.

That said,peppero in Seoul and pocky in Tokyo and I didn't notice much of a price difference. My favorite was the coconut-chocolate pocky.

>>7091633
Why didn't you pour Fanta on her? Why? Why?
Why?
>why

>>7090984
New slang, tbh.

>>7091633
My jaw dropped.

>>7091454
dem legs

isnt everyone who cosplays a weaboo?

>>7089846
> Fuckin'
Are you from the UK?

>>7091659
>I chose the sword.

>>7091454
Id hit that

>>7091772
You'd hit anything that would let you, neckbeard-virgo.

>>7091810
Projecting are we?

>>7091659
>I chose the sword

>homestuck retard saying this.

>>7091037
Fuuuuck did you ever try the strawberry/possibly rasberry Ritter bar? It might have been a limited time thing (either Valentines or a breast cancer fundraiser thing) but oh my god it was so delicious.

>>7091454
I...I think I went to high school with her.

>>7084949
>>7085020
I can't imagine that's too common, I've been going to cons for years and never encountered shit like this

I have seen my share of shit in high school/college/cons.
One man in particular sticks out in my mind, I have many tales about this fellow.
>He was in a class of about 30 kids for bio lab class in college
>I took it with a good friend of mine, the both of us enjoy anime/cons, we keep a lid on it at school because the vast menagerie of horrors that explode out of the walls when someone hears you enjoy cosplaying or going to Anime Expo
>There's this one kid, tall, lanky, weird beard and fucking repulsive odor we can never identify emenating from his backpack; his name is Josh
>He sits a couple lab tables away from us, my friend and I are in the same group with a nice dude that enjoys anime as well and one poor unsuspecting skater guy that knows not the first thing about Nippon and Nippon-Related-Accessories
The things Josh says and does in class is legion, I could speak for days about the things he has done, but one incident in particular
>At this point, everyone including the teacher hates Josh with a burning passion, we enjoy making fun of him as a class bonding activity
>One day, the nice skater guy comes into class looking visibly shaken, not his normal relaxed self
>He leans across the table to whisper to the rest of our lab group
>"I was in the bathroom and Josh came out of one of the stalls while I was peeing and cornered me holding up a phone asking if I listened to Hatsune Miku and grabbing my arms while I'm trying to piss. His breath reeked of onions."
>Everyone looks over to Josh's table where he's playing that vocaloid dancing game for the PSP
>He sees us looking and waves happily, winks at the skater guy
So ends this parable of Josh the King of College Weaboos

>>7087340
Yeah sorry about that. I ended up making that moment a bit awkward, I don't know why I even decided to bring it up lmao. Anyways on topic I guess...

>at a small SciFi con a few hours from home
>hanging out with the locals, nbd
>meet one guy, he is 15, I am 18
>starts furiously hitting on me
>follows me everywhere, joins in all of my convoys
>at one point at the dealers I mention I like a jewelry set to myself
>he splits off, only to show up 10 mins later
>he bought me the jewelry
>mfw
>later sitting around at night with friends, talking about something related to sex/romance/whatever
>at this point flirty kid was resting on my lap or something because at this point in my life I was dense as fuck, even the jewelry didn't key me in, assumed he was being friendly
>he chimes in to our convo
>looks at me and says something along the line of "well as far as I am concerned at conventions there are no rules"
>clearly implying sex with minors
>oh
>absolutely not
>no

Kind of my fault because old me was teasy as shit because I wasn't used to being hit on. Bbbbbut I still have the jewelry set so hey free stuff

>>7090977
Taser is a brand name, since they start at 400 bucks I assume you didn't actually get one. The proper term is an electric stun gun.

>>7090948
Generally it's okay. Set ground rules with them before they pay, make it an agreement via email so you have documentation. If they don't follow through, they get kicked out for the night. Make them sign something. If they get huffy tell them it's a precaution to make sure that everyone is able to have a good time and no horror stories come of it.

It can vary, but my basic ones are like:
No fucking all over the place, they've gotta go to their fuck-buddy's room for that.
Must shower every evening or morning.
Don't eat food in beds others sleep in. If it's yours alone then go get crumbs all up in your own bed, IDGAF.
Required to clean up after themselves, not putting big costumes and bags in pathways, instead in closets or along walls.
etc.

The convention I'm going to be volunteering with a friend at is full of generally calm people, so I'm not as worried as I would be at a different con. (Bronies are a lot more chill than anime convention weebs. The worst I can say about them is the tendency to not shower quite enough and run/skip down halls singing, and the seriously autistic people can be a little difficult to deal with but are also generally polite as well).

>>7092111
Tell us more about Josh.

>>7092245
I didn't even realize I'd gotten trips, and here I thought that when you got them I would get a prize, ah well.
Another story for the story pile
>On some days in our bio lab we didn't have much to do if we had to wait for a timed portion of the experiment so we'd bring reading materials or whatever in our down time
>I was foolish enough to bring in a GameInformer so I could catch up on what was the haps with the newest bumper crop of games coming out that holiday season
>I'm engrossed in the article about Dishonored
>Suddenly, the stench of one thousand horrors envelopes our table
>OhgodwhathaveIdone.avi
>Heavy breathing in my ear
>No thank you, please leave, hebeast
>"Hey"
>Without turning I say "we're supposed to stay at our respective tables, we're busy"
>"Hey, is the new vocaloid game in it?"
>Everyone at the table quiets, casts pleading eyes at me
>"No, please leave"
>"It's totally baws (how he fucking pronounced I kid you not) you guys would really like it, you dance and there's the Leek Song, oh man, do you guys want to HEAR that song?"
>Teacher finally looks up from fiddlefucking at her computer trying to avoid having to speak to this cretin
>"Josh, please stop bothering other groups-"
>"Oh, its cool, we're talking about Hatsune Miku and how cool vocaloid is."
>My teacher looks so fucking tired of Josh's shit
>"Sit at your table. Now."
>Josh slumps his shoulders over and shuffles away making whining noises like a wounded retarded dog
>Sits back at his lab table
>Flashes me a big thumbs up and holds up a paper with some writing "we can talk about vocaloids after class"
>I leave class early that day
So ends another tale of the Troublesome Twat Josh

>>7092287
how horrifying

>>7085243

THIS
I'm an ausfag & my dad got some hersheys from his work & I was like "oh cool! American chocloate, this shit is on american tv shows."

then I ate one & literally, my reaction was the same as yours. It tasted like vomit.

like, is hersheys actually shitty chocolate that's just really heavily advertised!? or is that seriously your good chocolate!?

>>7086499
murricans can get it here
http://www.igourmet.com/shoppe/Karl-Fazer-Milk-Chocolate-Bar.asp

Found in the health and well-being section of a forum. Just gonna leave this here.

>>7085980
Holy fuck I love those too!

>>7092398
god
that poor attempt at sounding sophisticated just reads as '2deep4u to understand my tortured soul' bullshit

>>7091976

>2012
>derpetea-mcderpity
>homestuck

>>7092398
>He is undefined just as his demeanor
>He is without words to portray his beauty
>indestructive heart string
>His chest was there to scream into when no fraud could
>endorsed themselves inside me
A lot of it sounds like Taobao translation spewage.

>>7092457
he was very fried chicken

>>7092457

there's more

>>7091454
/r9k/ here. I've been reading through all the stories and I'm surprised that most of the perpetrators are female. I didn't know females could be this autistic.

>>7092287
Shit, I know someone just like that.

>>7092483

It's like all the elements of modern poetry are there, just assembled by someone who thinks he is a better writer than he actually is

>>7092528
no it was written by Sasuke

i just met someone today that these threads describe that i thought werent even real
first thing she asks me is if i practice witch craft, i say i dont but i have a few wiccan friends and she screams with joy and says tell them hi, theyre probably in my sister cult

tries hard to relate everything to yaoi, brings up witchy shit and anime every 5 minutes. she mentioned a few times she wants to go to a catholic school with uniforms just to look like a sexy anime girl

no real exciting stories. but im sure ill have some very soon.

>>7092111
I demand more stories

>>7091976
>"2012 was a dark time my friends"
>One year later and they jump to the brand new cancer.

>>7092672
For your cravings of Josh related retardation, I present to you this testimony. (I also have my share of other stories related to other players in the sad sick comedy of my college autism experiences and con atrocities I have seen)
>Towards the beginning of the semester we shared Josh had a few people he knew
>They all apparently raved over Vocaloid and Final Fantasy and LoL (which was exploding with alarming rapidity among the mentally challenged at my school)
>Pick up conversations about how much Josh admires Cloud for being so strong and how he believes he carries himself much like the character does
>His coven nod and smile, say he's a total catch, "pussy magnet", wondering how he wasn't dating a "gorgeous little neko-cat girl"
>Josh always boasts of his impressive sounds of FF collection he has on his phone
>Always ALWAYS leaves his volume up at the loudest, no matter what we're doing without fail for the first few weeks he'd get a slew of text messages and calls
>The first time I heard his ringtone it was the chocobo dubstep remix
>Piercingly loud
>He's not going to-
>But he does
>In the middle of lecture while his phone is screaming and vibrating on the table, he gets up and starts trying to jumpstyle
The teacher was so frazzled she couldn't even stop his grotesque gyrations and let him finish his jig when the ringtone ended. No one dared to draw a breath. He bowed and sat back down.
-And here draws to a close the heart-wrenching testimony of Josh Lord of the Twitch

>>7092533
Sasuke is a shit poet, who thinks that he can replace good writing with edgymancy and the words crawling in his skin will pour forth from unhealing wounds and produce the next Poe, Jarret or Atwood.

>Atwood

You fit into me
like a hook into an eye

a fish hook
an open eye

>>7091632

Have you eaten a lot of bile?

>>7092768
>edgymancy
I will stow this term away for future use.

>>7092375

Hershey's isn't fancy or anything. It's just like that brand that is literally everywhere. Any gas station/grocery store is basically guaranteed to sell Hershey bars

I guess I am not a connoisseur or anything, but it tastes fine. I am not really a chocolate fan though.

>>7092501
the route out of misogyny involves recognising that everyone is a fucking cunt.

>Be young 16 yo virgin average looks guy alone at con
>Naive as fuck
>Somehow start talking with a couple of girls about 40lbs heavier than me
>It's fun talking about anime.
>Oh anon we have some really cool [some anime series] stuff back in our room if you want to see.
>Sweet of course I love that series.
>Stuff is on bed, cool cool. Hey why is she touching my arm like that? And now my chest. And then I stop her with my hand and say 'W-what?'
>She literally grabbed my hand and placed it on her oversized breast and asked I wanted to have some fun
>NOPE'd it outta there muttering igottagothere'sashowdownstairs
And that's how I felt a breast for the first time.

>>7092462
oh, anon, you got me. I'm crying from laughing.

>At food court in mall with boyfriend
>boyfriend is Taiwanese
>about 10~15 weebs are plowing their way through the crowd, some wearing various anime doodads like hats, pins, shirts, etc
>a rather normal-looking hamplanet running along with them
>a few girls in cosplay
>one suuuuuper skinny, super tall, greasy guy with them too
>they're practically yelling at the top of their lungs, some of them singing as well
>two vaguely hambeastly girls gasp as the group passes by us
>"OH MY GOD DO YOU HAVE A JAPANESE BOYFRIEND???"
>"JEALOUSSS!!!"
>"OMG WHERE IN JAPAN ARE YOU FROM"
>"I-I'm Taiwanese."
>"Oh, gross, nevermind."

>???

The group of crazy loud anime fans ended up sitting at the cluster of couches in the food court about 20 feet away from us. The two girls who talked to us before kept staring at us and talking in our direction but we could never understand them.
As we got up to leave we held hands and they SCREEEAAACHED at how ~adorable~ we were. I guess they forgot he was a dirty mongrel and not pure Nihonese.

>>7092999
>"Oh, gross, nevermind."
lolwut

>>7092752

I am fucking crying tears of joy ohh my god thank you kind anon.

Not a horror story yet but

>working at pizza place for 4 months
>everything going swell, albeit a bit hard being shortstaffed
>"hey anon we have a new hire"
>oh cool
>look over
>she's at least 250+ with a bleach messenger bag
>"HI ANON IM GLAD I GET TO WORK WITH YOU SWEETIE"
>oh god here we go

I'm frightened to mention anything about cons at work now

>>7093029
Whatever you do don't mention anime.

>>7093030
Its not that big of a deal for me not to talk about it to people who haven't got a clue but I had to stop myself during a phonecall with my brother because we were talking about dragon con
I've never been so scared in my life when she walked by with a curious look

>>7089780
>gets to "gomenasai" from my part
> "go.... men.... what??"
> looks straight at me, so does everyone else
> she was a young teacher and a cunt so starts making it a big joke
> i mumble "it means sorry" and she stares at me like i'm brain damaged
> finally continues story

Oh god I can't stop laughing

>>7093029
>pizza place hiring fat social retards
Sounds extremely accurate.

>>7089780
>she loved Hitchhiker's Guide and made everyone bring in a towel one day
Sorry she harassed you for your weeby tendencies, but this is fucking awesome.

>>7093029
Oh god the "sweetie"people are the fucking worst.

>>7089780
Aw, I'm sorry that you went through that.

I would've stood up for you, anon, if that makes you feel any better.

>Anime club starts up at my school
>been into anime for a fair while, consider going and meeting people who like it
>turn up to a session, organiser guy asks what anime we should watch
>"Lets watch final fantasy!!!" from the majority of the people there
>grin and bear it
>girl turns up later on with a pot noodle
>proceeds to attempt to eat her "japanese" noodles with chopsticks
>everyone discusses naruto the entirety of the club session
>never went back after that first time.

>be 15
>mention to a distant friend that I watched anime
>she proceeds to start watching Naruto
>she gets obsessed with it, starts calling people "bakas" and yelling "believe it!" randomely
>decides she's going to rename people she knows as the name of the characters.
>Proceeds to give all her friends names "You're Teh-mar- eye! Silly baka"
>Die a little inside, watching this happen.
>all her friends for about a month kept calling each other the new names and spouting one liners from the show.

I told this one before but here
>it is the japanese festival at our college
>wandering around
>see a couple guys on the little hill area that is kinda behind a row of trees but still really visible
>what are they doing?
>guy is randomly swinging around an odachi
>lolwhatareyoudoing
>walk up to them
>watch them for a little
>I can feel people staring at us
>as suspected, these guys know even less about swordfighting than I do (and the only exposure I have is watching my brother at his kendo class)
>most likely cheap shitty decorative swords
>I ask odachi guy if he knows anything about using a sword
>"I've been training in -my style- for about 11 years"
>contain my sides
>I ask "so, what is 'your style'?"
>I didn't keep track, but he rattled off maybe 15 different martial arts styles from 5 different countries
>did I hear him mention yoga?
>keep a straight face and say "okay, cool. I was just wodering since my brother has taken kendo for a few years"
>odachi guy goes silent
>walk away

there was even a kendo demonstration and workshop these guys could have gone to earlier...

>>7093492
they just wanted to swing a sword around. theres no harm in admitting that..

>>7093492
I forgot to mention that they were both trying to imitate poses and moves they saw in Bleach

>>7093492
>>7093607
I just keep forgetting stuff today, they also did this
>other guy picks up katana and gets in position to 'spar' with odachi guy
>odachi guy gives katana guy tips like he actually knows what he's talking about
>odachi guy: "yeah, you can be pretty fast with a katana, but I could hit you 3 times with this before you could hit me"
>that's only because you're holding a sword that is about 5 feet long...
>odachi guy: "remember, you never want to sacrifice strength for speed"
>you can't even swing that thing...

it was painful to watch

>>7092007
I'm so sorry. ...Though I think she said she dropped out of high school. But she lied about a lot of things.

>>7092287

it's shitty when you know what's coming on and you know you can avoid it but the aspie just jams the fucking radar for the receiving end.

reading this thread reminded me that there are people who call themselves "otakukin"
and then I did something no one should do
I typed it into the search bar on tumblr...

but oh man there is so much comedy gold there, but at the same time it is saddening that there are real people that really think like this

>>7096505
I just searched for this on Tumblr out of sheer 'what the hell is this?'
What the actual hell is this?

>>7086044
Fuck yeah, i love the little stick ones.

>>7092999
im a fairly light skinned asian but not japanese. weebs always ask me if i speak japanese and i say no, i'm not japanese and they also go "ew gross" and i'm like wtf

>>7096505
there is a guy that thinks he was the Digimon emperor in a past life
someone who has a soul bond with Kiba that feels connected to the naruto universe
people claiming to have the voices of multiple anime characters in their heads and getting angry and offended when people say they are crazy and obsessed...
oh man, I was planning to dive into the void of crazy that is the tumblr community and bring back something good, but there is just too much to handle.

>>7096566
this kind of falls into that "i am a furry and i am literally x animal in a human body" kind of thing. so creepy.

>Be at con
>Fucking furries had been passing out X and bringin in the freaks to the con that year.
>Look fine in my Nicholas Wolfwood with giant cross gun cosplay.
>Dude walks up to me
>Asks if I have a room
>say no
>Asks if I'd like to get one and bang his girl while he watches
>points out semi-cute shy little hot topic reject who waves at me.
>laff
>he looks sad "you don't have to laugh man"
>Mfw he was serious
>mfw people seriously do this shit
>I was virgin at the time
>Still glad I said no.

>>7085355
yes

Not exactly weeb but...
> Biggest day (Saturday) of local convention a few years ago
> Only my 3rd or 4th con
> Unfortunately go as Homestuck
> Decide to go to panel
> jfc
> Close to 100 screaming weeb/Homefucks in hallway outside panel room
> Average age is around 14 so it's baby's first con/cosplay
> People in charge of panel are nowhere to be found
> Literally cannot get through hallway or hear myself think
> People wonder why everyone hates Homestuck fans
Bonus
> The room had a max capacity of 40

>>7090711
did she have huge tits? i knew a girl who went by kitty in high school.

>>7092375
I think like 99% of American chocolate is either Hersheys, Mars, or Nestle. And out of those I think Hershey is the only one that makes just a straight up plain chocolate bar. Plus they make the Hershey's kisses and all. I guess they're the only one actually known for their chocolate, rather than for being chocolate coated nougat/nuts/caramel/whatever. The only Hershey's product I really like is Reeses Pieces, and they're just sweet peanut butter drops.

>>7092999
Had this happen, boyfriend is Filipino. Does not look Japanese in any way, very tan and beardy, and is sort of terrifying looking if you don't know him (he's quite proud of resembling a Mongol warrior)

>>7092967
shoulda stayed bro.

>>7097042
I think all of us do.

>>7092752
I can't not reply to this. This is just too beautiful for life. I almost wish I had the honor of knowing that kind of stupid.

>>7092462
god damn it anon

>>7091499
what uni is this? private i'm thinking good schools like fucking mit and princeton and shit.

>>7091633
i feel you anon ;-; i'm sorry

>>7091633
I commend you for keeping your cool and not stomping the shit out of her wings

>>7084835
You might be gay

>>7085355
weeb horror chocolate thread

>>7090136
They don't have anything to lose expect the weight

>>7090942
Giving your number to someone you just met
Dumb move at least you know not to now

>>7091454
Trust me just burn that couch you won't get the smell out

>>7092287
>Gameinformer
No anon you are the josh

>>7092398
Like dis cry evry tiem
Saske 5ever

>>7091480
Yeah, like the other poster said, it could be migraine aura. I get that side effect about 1 in 5 migraines. Probably the least painful side effect ever, just disorienting as fuck. Do you just see squiggles, or are they colorful? Mine always start at squiggles that look like lots of eye floaters around people and then I generally keep my eyes closed. Color did happen once, but I also hallucinated later sooo... Might have been that. I'd definitely talk to a doctor about it. Better safe than sorry, right?

>>7097033
Homestuck only got popular in very late 2011, and there weren't many cosplayers until mid-2012.
Did you time travel anon, or are you underage, perhaps even lying?

>>7092398
What the hell.....
I used to fall in love with cartoons when I was 10-11, but nothing like this...Fuck man that is scary if someone really feels that way.

>>7098020
>that is scary if someone really feels that way.

>>>/a/
They do.

>>7092752
Josh poster, since the threads still up I'll bump with someone other than Josh. There's another colorful character at my school whose online handle is Grimdark Starfox; the name is from his massive play/novella he wrote about Starfox that made him famous in some furry circles on the internet.
>My friends and I had seen him multiple times alone in the furthest back halls at school playing Second Life or studying while his avatar was doing the same thing on the screen (??)
>He invites himself into any conversation he can find in the autist lounge and shits it up speaking about how hard it is to be a "gay furry"
>I almost punched him in the nose when he inserted himself into a discussion about influential anime I was having with an artist friend
>Starts bitching about how all anime are "inferior" if they don't have an anthropomorphic character in it or a likeable gay person as the protagonist
>He fuels so much of my rage because he practically lives in the lounge I go to to see friends/study in
>Talks 12 decibels above the ambient noise of the room
>Always smells like musk/very animal type of smell, makes my eyes water if I'm near him for more than a few minutes
I'll cap this too long post with what happened to him a few years ago at club rush.
>He starts a furry club, paints everything on the table rainbows, tons of tails all over the place, he has neko ears and a tail looped into his pants
>Sitting alone at the table, even the other weird furries of the school aren't touching that sign up sheet
>Walking past, snort to myself
>Clear his table when suddenly I hear a noise and a scuffle
>Turn around and somehow Grimdark has broken the chair he was sitting on and his pants fucking ripped down the seams
>MFW it's little foxes on his god damn underwear

>>7091668
it is literally our only claim to usefulness in human history
sage for no story

>>7085346
... I actually like the way pocky tastes e- e;

>>7090942
>Listening to 4chan's advice
There's your problem.

>>7091659
You go anon.
You still live in PA? I'm here, and I cannot find anybody nearby who is not pants-on-head retarded.

>>7097962
Yes you're right. I made that all up. The insane Homestuck fandom never happened. I-Con never happened. It was all a lie.

>>7098031
>Grimdark Starfox

>>7085370
Clever

>Be in school
>Anime club starts a recruiting campaign via pa system
>Unfortunately there's a pre-designated announcer who simply reads there ads
>Can't pronounce weeaboo words
>The "a-ni-moo" club is now open for all "mango lovers" and "o-tak-a-loos"
>They kept doing this for a whole year using different Japanese terms.

>weeb stories
>thread 23443

>>7100371
Weeb shit attracts weirdos who would have though

>be in freshman year of high school
>likes hetalia
>there's a hetalia club
>leaders look cool, decide to join
>arrive at first day
>165 decibels loud, takes the president 5 minutes to get there attention
>not so bad, but...
>after a few weeks, I pretty much recognize everyone in the club. (65% female, mind you.)
>you have the shippers, the otp shippers, some girl who constantly brings her yaoi hentai to club, a bipolar guy with real problems who bought a Italy cosplay, some 15 year old girl who looks like a loli but is a quote 'sadistic mistress' and sexually harasses my friend, the homestucks, and the sane ones. (My friends included.)
>thefuckisthisshit.jpg
>we have to have a teacher supervisor, so we had some oldish history teacher
>she retires or has an accident or some shit, so we get a long term sub
>I love this guy, he's a 10/10 bro
>so at this point, we start watching the anime in class
>for those of you who don't know, hetalia has this cheery march-like ED
>all the people in the club who apparently know Japanese take the liberty to sing (read: yell) along
>MARIKATA CHIKIUU
>it's like the choir of hell has ascended to me
>Look over at the sub, he's giving everyone this weirded out/ disgusted look
>kill me now
>the club get's so astronomically chaotic over time that the leaders quit it, disbanding the weebs to whatever lunchtime antics they normally do
>the same leaders had formed another club for 'strange encounters' (We would talk about ghosts or something then derail into something completely off topic
>only about 8 people max, so it was really fun and nice
good ending achieved, I guess

Goddammit. You guys are aware Ghiradelli is American, right?

>>7089823
>>7089846
>>7090137
>>7089806
Sorry anytime i read these horror stories involving hambeast, hamplanets, tumblroo's and the like this is the only image that pops into my head

>>7092293
jesus christ the fuck is that

>>7086287
>Ritter Sport
ma nigga they have some tasty combinations

>>7089810
http://weebstories.tumblr.com/post/60942865069/psa-do-not-bring-naruto-porn-to-church-and-other
Did you submit that one?

>>7096670
Just for a moment, I tried to imagine how one would go about finding a third party for an activity like that. I think straight up asking it that way would actually be the sanest way to go about it, depressing as it is.
Dang, now I pity that couple...