/cgl/ - Cosplay & EGL

I hate what my local comm has become. It was once a small group of well dressed girls with good taste and their own unique style. Now it is ten times bigger and full of weeaboos who only buy replicas and Bodyline and wear it with anime ears and god knows what else. The latter like to represent us at cons and stuff so now people probably think we're all raging weeaboos. They also know nothing about the history of the fashion and what it was like 7/8 years ago when the comm started. I feel like an elitist or something but I miss the old days...

This one lolita I know lost her job to another, kinder, sweeter lolita and that makes me feel really happy, as if karma really does exist.

It also frightens me because if karma exists, then I'm in trouble because I'm a generally bad person.

My coordinates are pretty boring and plain but I get a lot of compliments because I'm attractive. Sometimes I feel bad since there's so many other girls who have gorgeous coords but don't get half as many compliments as I do. I really should try to be a better lolita, but I'm just so lazy.

I hate wearing accessories.

I'm an elitist and I'm not going to hide that. Not so much about brand, but about looking good and knowing what you are doing. If you look like shit, I'm not going to compliment you and you will feel my pity grimace, sorrynotsorry.

I've finally moved to a place with a comm and i don't want to go to any meetup
I just want to sit at home in my brand and drink tea and read.
Sometimes I feel like I'm wasting my wardrobe but I couldn't stand to put up with the drama.

>>7056075
This.
But I'll add, I still wear them, even though extra things on my head, wrists, plus jewelry really bug. Most people say to ditch the accessories and 'wear my lolita however I want to wear it', but I keep my coords as casual as possible, dropping accessories would make me look boring and suckish. I have other outfits and styles to rely on for comfort.

Also, I've never posted photos online of myself in lolita showing my face, because while I can fit un-shirred brand, I have a very unfortunately round/square piggu face. I always post pictures from the neck down.

My comm is turning into an ita hug box and I do not know what to do to stop it. Nothing but super positive OMG UR SO CUTE GOOD JOB on even the worst of coordinates. I am trying to passively add photo albums and blogs and advice on how to dress properly in an attempt to simply overwhelm them with information so that maybe they will realize just how awful they are, but I do not think it is working.

it just keeps getting WORSE. If I see one more fucking "punk lolita" I just may snap. And the absolute worst part about all this is that I myself am not that great at coordinating, so I feel like a big hypocritical dickface but fucking hell at least my coords are passable and are not some sort of velvet satin prom dress with no petti.

AND THEY KEEP BUYING FROM MILANOO. They know to use it as a taobao re-seller at least but FUCKING WHY?!

I think I may hate my comm. I am glad I live a little under an hour away from all their meets and cons so I have a good excuse to not show up.

I've only been in the fashion for a few months, but the more I see of people, the more I realize I'm better than most.

>>7056120
Lol.

>>7056094
Most comms don't actually have any drama irl. Just give it a shot.

I've finally managed to join a comm but haven't really participated in anything yet. The girls all seem nice and friendly, but I have been burnt before by girls who were like this on the outside but horrible bitches on the inside. I'm worried that I'll go to a meet up and be posted to BtB or an Ita thread here. It's probably never going to happen and I'm worried over nothing, but sometimes it's hard to put yourself out into a new situation when you have no control over the outcome. I guess I'm just an introverted control freak who can't let go.

>>7056120

>>7056079
Elitist and proud. Seriously: Im proud to be a lolita and i have an interest in hanging around people i know feel the same and take pride in their look. I don't want to hang around with special snowflakes who wear their clothes badly and do ~Edgy~ shit.

I find meets incredibly stressful because they're so boring... my comm used to be okay, but now it's just a series of secret meets and it's caused me to fall out of love with the fashion.
I just wanted to be able to dress up and meet a few girls to spend time with... but nope. You get either girls who just want to shop, shop, shop or are total weebs. And all are catty as fuck.

I love lolita because it's so costly. I don't know if that makes sense, but I like looking rich. I like looking like money. It feels nice.

I'm the most active member in my comm. I'm very well know in the comm, people respect me, thank me, newbies always want to meet me, I'm happy to do events.
My confession; I'm tired of running the show and want other members to pick the pieces but if I stop no one seems to be able to do what I do. I just want our comm to be active.

I had admired lolita fashion for a few years and finally gained the courage to start actually dressing in it. A year into wearing mature sweet I began to realize I was into ageplay (no, lolita still remains a fashion for me, not a fetish). I feel really guilty about it sometimes when people begin to talk shit about it. Noone knows that I'm into it. Not even my boyfriend of 2 years. I wish I could tell him but.. I couldn't even begin to get the words out of my mouth.

>>7056688
Same here anon. In my comm it is always the same 1 or 2 people hosting. I hate how people expect regular fantastic meets but then don't put any effort in themselves.

I don't like many of the girls in my local community, but they are very popular online. If people only knew what they were really like...but I still keep going to meets.

>>7056688

Preach, I took over for the last two girls and it's been the hardest thing I've ever done. I work a full time job and some work outside of it and lolita meets feel like a job on their own

My comm is small, spread out, and boring.
I'd prefer to have some drama than go to a meetup where the 10 people there (which is a large meetup for us) just talk to their one or two friends and don't interact.

I really hate comms. I wish I just had a friend or two to wear my frills and go out with. This is why I'm going to invest in more casual pieces and start wearing it on a regular basis.

I have no Lolita friends. Fuck, I only have 2 friends - Lolita or not.

>>7056775
I have no lolita friends either..
Muh tears

>>7056079
>>7056463
I'm with you both. I can't stand those weebs who think lolita only amounts to an ebay lace monster. It's one thing if they're trying and want help, you can push them in the right direction, but if they look like crap and won't try to fix it they can fuck right off.

>>7056790
Yep, no Lolita friends.
I just want one or two who are into the fashion, I'm not interested in a community.

>>7056685
I hate when people complain about "secret meets". We shouldn't be obliged to invite 100-odd people to lunch every other week.

I have plenty of other things to confess, but this particular thing makes me want to smack a bitch.

>>7056818
Agreed.

I understand that underagers don't want to miss out on meets because we want to drink now and then, but honestly I've never drank in public in Lolita and I want to. You'll get your turn when you're older, too.

One of the things that I keep seeing and that pisses me off quite a lot is when someone gets called racist for saying that they think a person with 'x' skin color doesn't look good in 'x' Lolita style or 'x' color scheme.
No one's fucking saying that they can't wear w/e the fuck they want because it doesn't look good or something, it doesn't mean that either.
It just means that to that one person, it doesn't look good.

>>7056836
I completely understand where you're coming from. It works not just on dark skinned girls either. I've seen white girls with a lot of pink undertones in their skin that just look terrible in pink because it brings out those undertones and makes them look very flushed all the time.

>>7056775
Me neither.
I have no lolita friends, two friends and my boyfreind, and one of those friends fell off the face of the earth.
The other one is obsessed with Transformers and it can get hard to try to talk to her about anything else.

I don't know a lot about lolita but I used to really admire some of the outfits I've seen online.
I just want someone to meet to take me under their wing and help me..

Oh, and another confession.
I love all of you on this thread and with the exception of another board on here, I've never felt more strongly before that you guys are "my people."

I'm jealous of one of the girls in my comm because her parents pay for all her living expenses and so she can use all her extra money (also given by her parents) to buy brand

>>7056711
deets?

>>7056775
>>7056790
>>7056817
>>7056841
If any of you want to talk, throwaway email in field. I wish I had some lolita friends too, it'd be nice to have someone to talk to about frills and whatnot.

>>7056687
You don't look rich

>>7056841
Grow a pair, many of us learned to dress up on our own. I can't stand people who are like "im new please lead me baby step by step"... For anything in life not just lolita
My next confession, I wouldn't dare say above IRL. Except behind your back I would

>>7056852
Wow, how old is she?

>>7056862
It's something I am getting into on my own because I've had to, but just like anything else in life it's wonderful to have someone else who likes what you like and to support you in doing so.
I would never expect someone to just go "oh here lol, loli class, here's everything you need, enjoy!" because then it's just copying someone else's style and that's really not right.

I more meant to have someone to talk to and to help out on the days where you get broken down by people either thinking I should have everything all figured out already, or that I'm a freak because I want to do these things.
Like a mentor or something.
Didn't mean to come off as an entitled bitch or anything

I have enough money to buy brand about once a month, but none of the brands have really been coming out with anything I like. I generally let my brandwhore friends think I'm a poorfag because they don't seem to understand not loving every print that comes out.

But more money for a trip I'm taking overseas, so that works.

>>7056818
I'm not complaining about it, just the way my comm has gone about it just creates a bunch of awkwardness and makes me really uncomfortable. There's a difference between wanting to just have a small meet with a few friends and deliberately excluding other girls so you can trash talk them. Just having to listen to the trash talk and no genuine conversation is kind of a turn off.

>>7056902
I feel you, anon. I recently started having money to buy a major brand piece once a month or so, but all of the most recent releases by AP, Baby/AAtP, and Meta (my favorite brands) have really let me down. The new tartan looks like it could be good, but I don't want to reserve it with the shit details they've given us.

>>7056885
she is turning 24 this next month, can you believe it? I'm 21 and have more responsibilities than her.

>>7056852
I'm also one of those girls, my parents pay for my tuition, my rent, my living expenses, with an allowance on top of that. I can pretty much buy 2-3 major brand pieces a month, maybe 4 if I buy secondhand from mbok.

>>7056990
I hope it doesn't hurt too much when real life hits you

I have a few friends who do lolita. I've been to several different meetups and had a lot of fun. I'd like to do more, but the issue is I'm a guy and originally only went so my sister didn't have to go alone. (and because there was food.)

Now I wanna go more but a lone guy showing up? I'm VERY worried of that being taken the wrong way. I don't want to look like a creep. I just like hanging out with people who are usually nerdy and interesting AND kawaii as fuq.

There's this circlejerk of young girls in my comm who are all pals with each other who I really dislike. None of them work, they all get money handed to them from bfs/parents/friends, and they still manage to look like fucking itas even with their advantages. It makes me envious, but at the same time I'd like to smack them because they really only care about their circle. A couple of them got promoted to be community mods for no damn reason at all other than the fact that they replied, and we still haven't had a single meet since international lolita day back in june.
Even a few girls tried to have a small meet up but I was busy, and not a lot of people showed up because the circlejerk queens didn't show up, and everyone wants to try to kiss ass to one of them for e-fame. And even she's not that popular anymore because she doesn't do lolita much. Ugh.

>>7056852
Tbh, I'm 21 and I'm the same way as her.
I live at home (never dormed for college), and the tuition was really cheap because I'm local and it's a state college. I got my bachelors but I'm going back for my masters and still living at home. My parents even let me quit my minimum wage job because it was stressing me out and interfering with school.
But I can ~maybe~ only afford major brand items two or three times a year, since every other handout my parents give me goes towards normal clothes and other hygiene products.

Also helps to have a living grandparent who will throw you $10-20 every other week so I can put that away to save.

>>7056840
> mfw this is me
I wish I could wear pink things, but it's just not going to happen. A peach pink or crisp pink I can maybe get away with as an accent, but a regular ol' pink either makes me look grey or like a tomato face.

>>7056858
Not quoted, nut I have no local loli friends and am e-mailing you too.

>>7056902
I know the feeling of not liking the new stuff that comes out. That has been me for quite a while (With a couple exceptions that I can't afford at the moment.)

I hope you have a lovely trip!

My Confession:
I would really love to organize a meetup in my small, rural town, but I don't really know my comm. I'm not even sure when our last meetup was, but we haven't had any recently. We have a really cute downtown area with a tea room, but I'm just a little nervous. My town is an hour away from most major towns, so I don't know if anyone would want to come. Should I suck it up and ask anyway? I just feel like that awkward new kid.

>>7057006
Gurl, none of this made sense.
You're getting too wrapped up in other people, fucking ignore them.

>>7057096
What part doesn't make sense? Their circlejerk is annoying, and they're a contributing reason why the comm is inactive.

>>7057006

What comm is this?

I was an active member of the lolita community in real life and online around 2007-8 because of a best friend at college who introduced me to it and got me out of the ita thing. We used to buy brand together and we had loads of fun.

She was sort of unstable, and around late 2009 she vanished without a trace, changed her number and deleted all her online accounts. everyone was just as confused as I am. I've never seen her since, despite desperately trying to trace her.

When she left, I deleted my stuff too, and put all my lolita garments in a big heavy box and I've not worn them since. Four years on, I'm thinking of selling them, but I have no idea how to approach it.

F, if you're reading this, get back in touch, I've missed you

>>7057016
OP of the comment you quoted. I will only say that is not the same, because that girl from my comm is receiving extra money from a side job of hers and is not telling her parents about it.

>>7057198
That sounds so horrible. I'm so sorry that happened, anon. I hope you find her.

>>7057198
Did she run away with a boyfriend or something? That sounds shady as fuck.

I look terribru in lolita even though I'm finally down to a weight where it fits... My shoulders are so wide, everything just looks bad.
I want to try ouji because I think it will suit my body type better, but I don't really have the money to buy things new and I haven't seen any Ouji clothes for sale used. Even if I did, I have no idea how to make coords myself... Ugh...

>>7056062
Karma doesn't exist. It's all coincidence, anon, don't worry.

I don't go to meetups anymore because I never made actual "friends" in the comm, more friendly acquaintances with very different interests outside of the fashion itself. Because of that, topics of conversation with me are always small talk and were school when I was in school which was hard because I was having a hard time in school and going out to a meetup in lolita was one of the few times when I didn't have to think about it but it was always brought up.

I got along better with the younger members/itas but they stopped coming or changed once they discovered Tumblr and became demisexual creepycute trendmongers.

>>7057282
>>7057251
Ty, I hope I find her too. I've looked everywhere within my power, no one knows where she went. She just completely vanished one day, all her accounts disappeared overnight and phone number was cut off.

>>7057282
Maybe. she used to be attracted to 'peculiar' guys but she never had a boyfriend.

>>7057306
one of my friends went total anorexic as soon as she joined tumblr and she follows all these dreary pro-ana blogs. It's pretty infuriating

>>7057284
How wide are your shoulders? I have very wide shoulders myself (approx. 49 cm) and I find well-fitted clothing that covers your whole shoulders do some good, also wide straps and straps that go closer to your neck (don't know if there's a word for it) should do the trick.
>Though I've just stopped caring about my shoulders, not anything I can change.

>>7057309
Unless she was a runaway, likely she was kidnapped and perhaps forced to close her accounts? Still shady shady.

All you can really do is think of things she did/said the week before or anyone who had contact with her that seemed 'odd'

I have a boyfriend who likes to be girly and wants to get into lolita (not as a fetish). But it's a long distance relationship, sadly.

>>7057306
>changed once they discovered Tumblr and became demisexual creepycute trendmongers.
Holy shit, that's like, my entire comm in a nutshell.

>>7057198
I am really touched by your story because it happened to me to, she was a very dear friend. She completely cut contact with all of her friends, even her best friends. I found her nearly 10 years later, about 3 years ago. I stumbled upon her on facebook since I was facebook friends with her ex-best friend. It seems like she was slowly getting back in contact with her old friends.

It's also how I got into lolita. She was wearing it and I thought she was so beautiful, I wanted to be beautiful too. She helped me understand BTSSB's website and gave me the name of a few brands. I eventually moved to the same town as her (I lived 10h away) and moved in with her for a month (I was trying to find a job and an apartment). She helped me get my awesome job. I'm so thankful I found her again and she is such a great friend. Don't give up anon, your friend will eventually reappear.

>>7057332
Are you me, Anon? :|
My boyfriend and I are long distance at the moment, but I've shared my lolita before and he was so happy it overflowed and made me happy.

>>7057353
Did you find out why she disappeared? My bf had a friend from uni who suddenly quit and disappeared without saying, turns out she got into a semi-bad crowd (well actually it was one of her TUTORS) and got her into self harming. Seems retarded to me but she pretty much cut contact with everyone until she was better.

>>7057365
I think it's pretty much what happened. Teenage years, bad decisions and relationships and being unstable is never a good mix.

>>7057353
wow, congrats on finding her, especially after such a long time! Your sounds a lot like mine, it's great you managed to get back in contact with her. I'm going to keep searching, as it's a small world and there's always hope.

>>7057324
Thanks for the tips!
Mine are the same give or take a cm.
I've only tried on JSKs and skirts, but do you have a problem with the fit of OPs?
Any tips on where to get blouses?

I'm an older Lolita and I somehow feel that I should really be wearing classic. But I just don't like it as much. I do like sweeter classic styles however. I just find that bright pastels, happy colors and cute motifs are far more suiting on me and I look much more youthful. The moment I put on a floral dress, mature heeled shoes and wear a natural wig, I instantly look my age or very close to it. Maybe it's just me wanting to hold onto the last bit of youthfulness I have. But I really just honestly feel content and happy right now in my AP. I will probably add more classic pieces here and there so that when I do really stop feeling this way about sweeter things, I'll have something to fall back on.

I'm too fucking lazy to accessorize. Making them takes too much time, and searching taobao for them takes too much time. Thank god I'm not into OTT.

>>7057391
I feel you anon, I'm the same. But if you look great, why does it matter?

>>7057284
Follow people on tumblr who do ouiji. There is that guy from Australia that is pretty good, and this girl from texas who I think is also selling some things as well. I cant remember their names atm.

I would love to get more involved with my comm but I'm much too busy with work. Plus the majority of their meets (with the exception of those made around a certain anime convention) seem to be focused outside of the city.
So I'm usually by myself when I do scrounge up the time to dress up.

On another note I do wish they did more 21+ meetups. Tea parties are nice but tea with vodka is better.

>>7057426
There are a couple good Australian ouji actually. I can think of agentlemandoesnotconga and technotropism off the top of my head.

>>7057432
My Kingdom for a goddamn 21+ meet

I finally have the chance to make a lolita friend, but I'm scared of taking the first step.
I've seen her around campus a couple times, and she even lives in the same building as I do, but I can't muster up the courage to talk to her! I feel so lame.

>>7056852
Granted I work for my spending money for brand and such, but I'm coasting off of parents and fiance pretty nicely, rentwise and carwise. I also have a chronic illness (sort of like Peachie I guess) and so being funded is an upside to that. I can't afford much since I bring in money pretty slowly and my family and fiance don't give me money outright, only resources, but I have a relatively small but nice wardrobe.

>>7057324
48cm anon here, and let me just say I rage every time someone brings up shoulders and are like "my broad 36cm shoulders, tee hee!" I'm glad to see someone else is shaped like me. Are you short and thin too?

I hate how modern lolitas do everything coord by coord instead of just buying pieces that form a cohesive collection for their wardrobes.
It just seems like you're making a costume for yourself instead of treating it like a fashion, and it pains me when you insist it isn't a costume but only wear it to conventions and meet-ups

>>7057426
I've been looking through Tumblr and found some pretty good ouji imo.
aerynsys, neogrotesk, technotropism, wonderlandvirus...


>>7057601
Second wide shoulder anon here.
I'm only 5'6"/167cm and I'm just kinda average weight/size now. I wanna be a lot more thin though.

>>7057640
>tfw you're more proportionate than me

I just want to find another Hulkwoman so I'm not alone.

>>7057620
I have basic things that work for many outfits, like socks, blouses, earrings, shoes, and, to some extent, purses, but I love buying special accessories for different prints. If I find an accessory that I think would be perfect with something, I buy it, especially if the color is generally hard to match. I wear my stuff outside of cons and meetups though, so I'm not at fault for that part.

>>7057649
Aw, sorry anon. How tall are you?

>>7057666
5'2"

>>7057673
I would gladly trade you any day if it were possible.

>>7057620
Do people really do this? I understand wanting to have different coords often, but there are a lot of different ways to mix and match the same accessories. It seems wasteful to me. Maybe I'm just poorfag.

>>7057690
Some people do, yes. Most of the time, they sell the dress on to buy the next release, so having "one perfect coord" before it leaves their hands is their ideal/goal. I see nothing wrong with it, to be honest, though my own ideal is to have a cohesive wardrobe which mixes well (which I now do). Everyone approaches lolita differently.

>>7057710
The thing is, that "one perfect coord" mentality is the exact same thing as a lot of cosplayers' thought process, so it just instantly rubs me as people treating these dresses like costume.
With any other fashion, it's all about building up an awesome wardrobe that you can mix up and play around with and live your life in. Somehow lolita has missed that for a vast majority of the western audience

>>7057690
I do the opposite. Pretty much everything that the anon you quoted hates I do.

Mostly because I can't afford to buy an extensive wardrobe, even secondhand, and then pray to mana I can pull a decent outfit from it no less.

It's easier for me to go coord by coord because it helps me keep track of what I have, and my outfits turn out better because of it. Doesn't mean I wouldn't reuse and item in the future.
And yes, I only wear my outfits to cons and meetups. But it's not like I can wear them to my job, college, or when I go out with my family. It would have to be so toned down I wouldn't even consider it lolita anymore.

>>7057850
THANK YOU
lolitas who ask me why I wear hardly any brand "because you can sell it when you're done lol" really grind my gears. i'm not gonna be "done" with it id rather just get my clothes from taobao and stuff and get to keep my wardrobe without having to be down $1,500

>>7057864
You can wear lolita in public and at college/university. I do it fairly frequently. If you're more classic, it's easy to wear pretty standard coords. I tend towards sweet, so I mostly wear skirts with nice blouses, cardigans/boleros, and more mature shoes (e.g. cute pink heels with a pointier toe instead of tea parties).

I felt self conscious at first, but I've received surprisingly few negative comments and many compliments!

In my opinion, if you don't ever wear lolita besides to meet ups or cons, you're treating it like a costume. Even if you just put it on after work to lounge or run errands in, at least you're treating it like clothing instead of a costume.

>>7057864
>I only wear my outfits to cons and meetups. But it's not like I can wear them to my job, college, or when I go out with my family.

I don't understand this mentality at all. Surely you can make time to wear it out for the hell of it, and it doesn't have to be OTT. I'm a college graduate, have full and part time jobs where I can not wear it, but I still make time to wear it, even if it's only on the weekends. Like >>7057850 said, it makes it like a costume if you're only wearing it to cons and meetups.

My confession is that I love my comm so fucking much.

I find it so so difficult to make friends for multiple reasons, and even just talking to people in a remotely let's-be-friends-way absolutely terrifies me. I'm not one of those people who are all "I am anxious and terrified of other people, so I will wear the most attention grabbing fashion ever", because I don't really care about attention or whatever, it's more being scared of actually trying to interact with people.

I showed up to my first meet looking a real mess, and they were all total sweethearts to me, even though I was a bit stiff and awkward and acting weirdly because I was so frightened. They totally welcomed me in and everybody treated me really nicely and no differently to anybody else. By like the third meet, I felt really accepted and happy, and thought I've not been to too many meets, I genuinely really love all of the regulars. There are still people I'm yet to meet, but those I've meet multiple times I just adore. I want to be friends with them outside of lolita, but I have no idea how to go about that.

I'm just so scared of conversation, and talking over social networking is so scary for me, so I'm afraid I come off as distant or stuck up, but I really do love them all a bunch and I can honestly say I've never in my life felt so happy or accepted by a group of people as I do with my lolibros in the comm.

I dunno man, maybe I'm just getting too excited at people being nice to me, but I really love those guys to pieces.

>>7057892
I'm very selective about when I wear my loli. I haven't touched my wardrobe since April, because around here, it gets hot as Hell, and I wouldn't dare risk getting sweat stains in my burando.
Once it gets cooler, though, I have to keep up with weather reports and plan specific days to wear my coords out, plus also bring an emergency etc. outfit just in case.
It's getting to be a hassle, though, I might just start limiting myself to events and such.

>>7057910
See, this is why I want to start out with a mostly bodyline/offbrand wardrobe and have brand as a special occasion thing. I don't want to have to be this neurotic about something that should be just clothes

I think lolita attracts painfully plain-looking girls like moths to a flame.

>>7057939

Eh, yes and no. There are quite a few absolutely gorgeous lolis, more than you'd expect. In my comm, there are a few girls who are genuinely like, beautiful.

I'm pretty unattractive, though, so maybe I'm just looking at everybody else through rose tinted glasses.

>>7057868
^me
>>7057933
this too.
I actually want to have a good time when I go out and not have a stick up my ass about MUH BRAND and constantly worry if i dirty it. that shit's for special occasions.

For once in my life I love my body because it is the perfect size for lolita. I have short limbs so I can never find pants that fit right and I'm skinny that I have to look for American xs size but I never have to check measurements for lolita and AP is the perfect length for me. It's like I finally found clothes for my body type.

>>7057892
>Surely you can make time to wear it out for the hell of it
Where? Around my house and when I go grocery shopping? Not all of us live in areas where there's clubs and cafes and things to do.

And fine, then it's a costume. Be mad about it I guess, if it's really that unfathomable and upsetting for you...

>>7057601
>>7057324
Please teach me your summer survival secrets. My shoulders are 41cm, not as wide as yours but enough to make me feel bad.
>every fucking blouse is puff sleeved or long sleeved

>>7057933
OP here, that's exactly what I did, and then as time wore on, I sold it all for brand. I love my brand, I think it's beautiful and quality stuff, so please don't take this like I'm a loli rebel without a cause, but the brand did ruin the fun a bit, since I do have to worry so much about keeping it nice every minute. I don't have the luxury of not worrying about staining such expensive clothing.

But then I've also got the mindset of I bought it, so I'd better fucking where it. It'd be a waste. It's gotten to a point where I've considered selling at least most of it, but I can never get myself to.

>>7057951
I actually don't like blouses at all and wear cutsews or boleros instead. Avoid things with a large collar, and make sure things fit your body well because your shoulders provide the framework for how things fit you if they're not structured and you'll end up looking like a shapeless box.

>>7057963
Different anon. Even when my clothes were only offbrand and a little Bodyline, I was careful to keep them clean. I guess it's so ingrained in me that it doesn't bother me. I'm still very careful to make sure there's no rain in the forecast though. Also I tend to stick to cotton for my brand pieces just so that I feel like they won't be as hard to clean and simply because I love the feel of the heavier cottons they'll use sometimes.

>>7057939
Meh, in my opinion it's probably not being plain-looking that's at fault, but lack of practice in applying makeup. There's a such a fear of doing makeup "too slutty-looking for lolita". It also doesn't help that a vast majority of makeup and makeup tutorials in the Western market seem to fall under just two options, of "looks natural/like no makeup at all" and "ready for a night club". Rarely is there a middle ground shown that is more suitable for lolita elegance/cuteness. It seems safer choice to do the natural makeup when dressing in lolita, rather than experimenting with the brighter colors and take the chance one is labeled ita. Thus, lolitas with a lack of makeup practice will likely do their makeup so that they look like they have clearer skin -- but will still appear plain in the face.

I hate that pose lolitas do where they're flaring out their dresses at the sides with theirs hands. It looks boring and it gets rid of the pretty bell shape.

>>7056818
Agreed, or when people get pissy because you make friends within the community and get together with your friends in lolita without making it a meet up for everyone. Seriously,I can't hang out with my friends and wear clothes I like without other people complaining?

>>7057000
Not that anon but my parents scrimped and saved from the time I was born for me to be able to go to college and not have to work at the same time, like they had to. I'm going for a very difficult, competitive degree, and I have had full time jobs in the past that I left amicably. I manage the money they give me responsibly and with the combined income of my fiance and what my parents have saved for me, we were just able to buy a house. He and I are taking care of all our homeowner duties by ourselves, and have lived on our own for over a year now. Real life is not exclusive to people who are in shitty situations.

>>7058096

All of the people I know in your situation can't handle money and have no idea how to fend for themselves. I know a girl who got a phone and let the bill go into collections, phone shut off because she told me "I don't have to worry about bills, I don't even know how to pay them." She probably could have forwarded it to her family and they would have paid it, but she didn't pay it any mind. When she told them later they paid it out of collections anyway.

If you're not like that, congrats. Good for you. I hope you realize how lucky you are and how many people would kill for your situation.

I love lolita and wish I was brave enough to wear it regularly

but I'm not
and I feel vulnerable and shy and scared when I'm wearing it by myself. My boyfriend loves it and I feel good when I'm with him
but....

I hate meetups. I hate hanging out with a comm. Some of the girls are gross weeaboos, and then the rest and prissy and annoying and elitist.

I just want to wear cute things without being terrified.

>>7056840
This is me. I can do very super pale pink, dusty pink, or a light pink blouse/cardigan with something else (usually sax blue). But a main piece entirely pink (especially bright pink) NOPE NOPE NOPE. I may as well be a walking tomato.

>tfw all your dream dresses / things on your wtb list pop up for cheap but in the pink colorway only. Or "CHEAP BRAND NOTHING UNDER $100!" And it's all a vast sea of pink.

I want to be into lolita so badly. The fashion is beautiful, the girls I have met are all very kind and friendly, and I actually have the money for it from my job...

But I'm thicker. Not terribly so, but I'm not tiny by any means. I've lost fifteen pounds exercising and dieting already, but I still don't feel thin or pretty enough for it.

It's so miserable I could cry. I think I could have so much fun, and wear beautiful dresses... but I don't want to be "that plus sized lolita" or anything like that.

>>7058184
>but I don't want to be "that plus sized lolita" or anything like that.
Which is too bad since if you weren't so caught up with labels, you'd probably would have a good time even if you were that plus size lolita.

>>7058184
>I don't want to be "that plus sized lolita"

If you dress yourself well and wear things that fit, I don't see why you shouldn't wear the fashion. Aside from a couple of cunts on this board, the vast majority of people don't give a damn.

>>7058187

I don't really care about the labels. There's just prints I like better than others, but... don't suit my body type.

I love old school black and white lolita stuff, but I know everyone thinks it's ita now

fuck you guys, man

>>7058162
Have you tried introducing a friend to the style? Or loaning your spare dress to someone you trust who could support you?
Even having one lolita friend helps

some fucking bodyline employee tried on my fucking dress before she sent it to me. it's the tartan dress they just restocked(that i've been eyeing -forever-) so this shit is inexcusable.
The grey outer part was intact but the red bag's seal was broken, my dress stank of B.O., and the cotton lace on the collar was RIPPED.
If I knew who did this i would fucking HURT that nasty BITCH
UUUUUGHHHHHHH
i'm fucking contacting Bodyline this shit is NOT OKAY.

>>7058198
I'm sorry anon, but don't they have a no returns policy?

>>7058210
I hate that bullshit, it says that even if they make the mistake that they won't take the item to change it.

>>7058210
I'll open a claim or something.
I don't even care i'm just shaking with rage. i've been waiting for this dress to restock forever. i'm so angry. i'm so pissed right now.

I carry around a sharpie at big cons and pretend to rub up against girls in their 200$+ brand

>>7058216
Thank you for this idea.

>>7057850
>>7057892
I don't get the huge deal with other people wearing and approaching their lolita from a cosplayer perspective or treating it more like a "costume". If that's not how you want to do it, don't do it that way.

I honestly don't get the fuss over "OMFG IT'S NOT A COSTUMMEEE" that so many Lolitas rant about. A cosplayer wants to get into lolita "It's a fashion!!!1", a cosplayer who has several years of experience sewing and knows proper sewing techniques and can make beautiful and durable garments, and has several craftsmanship awards under their belt "OMG you're a cosplayer so it must obviously be shit because costumes are a one-time only thing and lolita is a ~fashion~"

"Hey I like your costume!" and the shit hits the fan.

Get over it ladies. Cosplayers are not going to turn your lolita into lace monsters. Experienced cosplayers know how to research and know high quality materials when they see it. We just approach things slightly differently. I don't see any harm in it, it's just another way of enjoying the same hobby.

>>7058216
Why only pretend?

I am so scared to wear lolita anywhere in fear of having something thrown on me! I have nightmares about this

>>7058216
>>7058223
>>7058231
I hope I'm falling for a troll, but I think that's not nice.

I'm one of those people who wears brand to cons, because I'm just not good at cosplay and still want to dress up. I don't say or do anything mean to other people and am generally not a bitch. I scrimp and save for my clothes, so it would make me upset if someone did that to me.

Some people in my community are kind of obsessed with the idea of e-fame and are trying really hard to achieve it.
I don't hate them for it, I just wish that they would learn to tone it down a bit.

>>7058229
It's not the lace monsters that bothers me. It's the fact that they're treating it like a costume, i.e. not treating it like a legitimate clothing choice. Cosplay costumes can be amazing quality, and I envy those who can craft them. However, there is a difference between costumes and clothing.

I'm not dressing up as something/someone when I wear lolita, I'm just dressing up.

>>7058215
>>7058198
update: chopped off the collar lace, looks fine
accidentally handwashed it in lots of fabric softener while still seeing red and have now put it on gentle cycle to rinse off.
washer machine's interior is disconcertingly foamy.
i need to work on my temper.

>>7058229
I don't really care what other people do, personally. As long as it makes you happy and doesn't hurt anyone, which treating it as a costume doesn't, then go for it. I wouldn't judge someone for enjoying something the way they want to.

>>7058138
>I hope you realize how lucky you are and how many people would kill for your situation.
I do, I thank my parents every day for supporting me. I'll pay it back to them when my education nets me my dream job and I can help them out in their old age, and pay it back to my fiance by giving him the same chance to go back to school.

That girl sounds like she'd be a twit regardless of how much money she had, tbh. I don't believe the monetary background you have affects your sense for fiscal responsibility.

>>7058286
dropped mfw

>>7057880
>>7057892
I hear this argument a lot and all I can think of is... don't you consider your lolita clothes to be nicer, fancy even? Would you wear a prom dress to classes? Is a prom dress a costume? Better question, would you put on very expensive designer clothing to lounge around the house? It's made to be seen, and not only be seen but in a specific situation, and it looks weird to wear something so fancy to mediocre occasions. I wouldn't run up to the grocery store or go to a concert in lolita, that doesn't make it a costume to me.

I am like really tall and broad shouldered and have a big chin and always afraid that someone will think I'm a crossdresser.

Its not an unfounded fear, when I was a teenager and generally awkward and mallgoth it happened a lot. I actually do try to keep myself nice and do makeup and all but theres so many brolitas (and pretty ones at that) that I get paranoid about it.

>>7058301
I think prom/wedding dresses are costumey, though.
You only wear them once for very special occasions, in which you assume a sort of role. If you're only wearing it to meet ups and cons (more so the people who only wear it to cons) you are treating it like a costume.

Also, yes, my friends who own *real* brand clothing/shoes do wear them on normal days, and sometimes I want to dress up for myself and just sit around. Don't you ever do your hair or makeup just for fun?

I'm not saying you have to wear it to go to concerts (though someone in my comm did so fairly recently) or whatever; I'm just saying that it is possible to wear them out and about.

I'm the anon who wears them to university classes, and I was mostly calling the anon I was replying to out on their bullshit for saying "hurr, i can't wear it anywhere else!11"
Lolita can be worn in everyday life. I go OTT for meetups, tone it down a bit for class.

>>7058296

It really, really does. A lot of people just don't seem to understand what fiscal responsibility is. They've had money their entire life. Many of them think it's not a problem to get- they just forward the bill or they just email someone, and they've got money in the bank. I have primarily upper-class white girls for friends on their parents' bank, and they wanted to take a trip last semester-- between airfare, hotel, and estimated food expenses it was nearly $1000. They tell me a week before they want to go. When I told them I couldn't come up with the money they went off on me. "I never do anything fun" they said, "Why are you such a spoil-sport?" they said. Real life is, even though I'm working full time to put myself through college I just don't have the money.

I hope you find your dream job, Anon. I hope you help your fiance and can love and cherish the shit out of your parents. Good luck.

I've been going through really fucking awful shit that has completely wrecked my heart and mind.

I've spent a lot on lolita recently just to alleviate how shitty I feel.

While I won't diss the adrenaline rush of winning your dream peices on auction (seriously in two months ive demolished half of my wishlist) it really didnt hit me how depressed I was until the drinking got out of hand.

I know it's gonna sound so stupid but if it weren't for lolita and especially being able to see the sweet girls in my comm I actually might not of been alive last week.

I'm very selective about my wardrobe, but it seems like all the pieces I buy are fairly popular pieces from AP. Unfortunately I feel unworthy of the clothes because girls always comment anonymously on my outfits because I wear it so plainly.

I don't know how to makeup. I get overheated when I wear wigs. I feel too awkward wearing elaborate accessories.

It really makes me want to sell off my dresses but I don't want to give them the satisfaction and the chance of them buying it from me....

>>7058471
Anon, you must be me, except replace AP with IW.

I've been stalking the makeup threads and even gotten over my embarrassment to get some help at Sephora with makeup but as soon as I'm home, can't do shit and look like shit. I don't know how you ladies make it look so easy.

>>7058096
Yeah both my parents had to work during their studies, and they kept money aside for me since I was the child so I would not have to do the same. I keep a little bit of this money aside each month (but really nothing, ~20$) to buy things second-hand or taobao. I want to find a job but my studies are stressful and competitive, and I'm naturally weak, I easily faint so I can't keep a job were I have to work for long/lift things/stay up. My parents trust me when they give me x amount of money (and no more) for the month to live happily with. As long as I eat well and have good marks at my finals, they don't really care what I do with it. I know I'm lucky but I don't brag about it, it the choice they made and I just thank them

Really late to the party... Anyways
>>7057324
>>7057386
I don't dress in lolita since I'm not comfortable in dresses or skirts, but I'm very sure you'd have to special order or something since our shoulder mesurements are actually that of a male's (I've looked this up, I'm really not kidding).
If I'm understanding what an OP is right, then I think you will have some problems with the fitting of them since I believe most dresses are made so that the wider the shoulders are the wider the hip- and waist measurements will be. I'm not 100% sure though, but it would be good if you knew how to alter clothing if it's true!

>>7057601
No, I'm kinda tall (5'9) and I'm lucky enough that I have wide hips, tough it's annoying as shit that there such a big difference between the sizes of my pants and shirts.

>>7057951
What >>7057976 said, also I just avoid puff sleeves like the plague. In the summer I don't care too much about my shoulders, I just wear tank tops with a sporty design to them.
If you don't have very wide hips you could go to the mens section and look at dress-shirts or whatever it's called, I think medium (European medium, if there's any difference) should fit your shoulders, their shirts aren't too bad and you can always alter them!

>>7057649
Hulkwoman reporting in
>I used to lift
>But then I got afraid that my shoulders would get even wider ;_;

>>7058657
This is >>7058304, want to lift so I can cosplay tough warrior babes but that will totally screw any chance of looking feminine for lolita.

>>7058657

I don't ever wear skirts or dresses normally, but there are so many pretty lolita dresses I would love to wear!
Thanks for all your advice and insight. I guess I'll avoid getting dresses for now, and work with skirts and Ouji. I have man shoulders... ; A; uguuuuu

>>7058301
I wear lolita to run up to the grocery store. And no, lolita is definitely not in the same league as prom dresses, and yes, I do wear expensive designer clothing to lounge around the house.

>>7058339
>I was mostly calling the anon I was replying to out on their bullshit for saying "hurr, i can't wear it anywhere else!11"
Ok but how is that bullshit? Do you know what their town is like? They could be harassed when traveling alone. Maybe they're not confident enough to parade around in it in a casual setting? You can't just outright say that's bullshit when you don't know their situation at all. I don't feel comfortable wearing lolita when I'm not around other lolitas, end of story. It doesn't mean my clothes are less real than yours, or that I take the fashion less seriously.

>>7058825
Good for you? Again, not everyone is like that, but it doesn't mean they're cosplaying.

>>7058339
I disagree; costumes usually denote some kind of pretend, or embodiment of something that is not yourself. In the special occasions you speak of, like prom or wedding, you are still entirely yourself, dressed appropriately for the occasion. Do not forget that, using your line of thinking, people also assume "roles" at, say, the gym, or in an office; that does not make yoga pants or corporate blazers costume pieces unless they are used in such a way that they do not pertain to a person's current status or life. For instance, I work as an educator in a nature center, and if I dressed up in office attire, I would feel in-costume, but someone who works in an office would not.

I really think the meaning of "costume" as it pertains to a particular outfit is entirely subjective as it pertains to the wearer and their intentions.

>>7058260

Yeah, >>7058229 totally missed the point. We're not saying you look like shit or anything, we're just saying you're treating a real fashion like a costume instead of clothes.

>>7058839
If you're not confident enough to wear lolita in a casual setting (e.g. home alone or with your SO, as the example I gave) how are you comfortable enough to wear it out at all?
Also, wearing lolita in public totally boosted my confidence. If you're not willing to put yourself out there and try, you'll never grow.

Seriously, though, if lolita is something you genuinely like, shouldn't you want to wear it more often? Only wearing it with other lolitas also makes me think you're not really comfortable with the fashion and your choice to wear it.

>>7058216
I hope you're ready to get decked by a brolita one day

>>7058942
>durr everyone's experiences should be the same as mine or they're wrong

>>7058339

>>7059113
Not saying their wrong, but I am saying I think you're stupid and would probably laugh at you irl.

>>7059145
You would laugh... at someone who wore lolita less often than you did? And that makes them stupid?

Honestly what is it with you girls and needing to feel superior to everyone else all the time over fucking clothes. It starts with "oh, I'm not like those slutty other girls, I'm MODEST" and quickly turns into "oh, I wear lolita EVERY DAY, if you don't you must not really like the fashion like I do."

>>7058942
Different anon here, but I'm in a similar situation. I enjoy wearing lolita, and don't mind the stares on the train on the way to a meetup - contrast with cosplay, which I will always cover up outside the convention area. I still would never feel comfortable wearing lolita to college. I already get comments on how I always 'dress up', just because I wear boots or flats rather than sneakers, and skirts instead of jeans. I guess it's part of being in a male dominated course where no one puts any effort into their appearance.

Also, I feel like lolita clothes should go with makeup and styled hair, which I really can't be bothered with on a day-to-day basis.

>>7059163
I don't wear lolita every day, and I'm not saying I'm better for wearing lolita more often.
I'm saying I find it laughable that some people don't have the confidence/back bone/spunk to try wearing a fashion more often if they like it.
The person I initially replied to said "It's not like I can wear it to x, y, and z."
I took issue with that, stating that yes, you in fact can wear it to at least some of those places. If you choose not to, okay, but don't run around saying you can't.
I understand being shy/insecure, and I'll admit I was pretty nervous the first time I wore lolita to class. However, I think that way too many people, especially on the internet, just let their fears and insecurities dictate what they do or don't do.
I started off pretty damn civil and was trying to show how it is possible to incorporate the fashion into your everyday wardrobe, but now I'm just havin a giggle at you booty bothered anons.

>>7059163
God, I know, whenever someone brags about wearing lolita to college I always laugh inside thinking about how they must be

>super-obvious18y/o freshman-chan
>taking creative writing and gender studies

Yeah, sorry, I don't wear lolita to upper-division science classes.
Try getting gram-stain purple all over your burando, you community-college dwelling Fashion majors.

>>7059176
People at my uni dress very casually as well (jeans, sweatpants, north face jackets x leggings, etc.), but I think most people actually enjoy seeing others dressed nicely? I know I do.
My casual hair and makeup usually takes about 10 minutes total. However, I also have really manageable hair and keep my makeup fairly simple.

>>7059182
>mfw I go to one of the top ranked universities in the world and am in my 3rd year of pursuing a dual degree

I personally always laugh inside when I hear people bragging about their hard science degrees. Oh, yes, I am the elitist here...

>>7059194
>in my 3rd year of pursuing a dual degree
>in english lit and fashion design
Yeah no, I'm in a vet tech program and it'd not only be impractical to wear lolita to class (even on the days where we don't handle animals), it'd be unprofessional. The only one booty bothered here is you.

>>7059194

Hope you know your philosophy/marketing degree's worthless no matter how in debt you went to pay for it :D

>>7059235
>>7059239
Try econ and international studies on a full scholarship.
Also, the majority of students aren't going to be in specialty programs, and I made my initial point on the basis of an average student. So, with your personal situation taken into account: sure, you can't wear it to classes, but you can still wear it for doing other things.
I'm actually enjoying this, so keep it coming.

>>7059268
>international studies
>Let me guess- JAPAN!!!

>>7059194
>>7059268
s-s-sempai, I think you're being trolled...

>>7059268
Immunology/Infectious Diseases and Molecular Medicine.
Step up senpai.

>>7058839

Different anon here, I work 9 hours a day, fridays even 10 and mostly 6/7 days a week.

We have a dresscode at work and some people really can't wear lolita unless it's for occassions, because honestly, after standing at work almost every day a week, almost every hour a day, I don't always feel like getting up, dressing myself and just sit there in fancy clothing. On sundays i'd rather sometimes stay in pj's and read BtB and be lazy as fuck, because I think I deserve it.Unless there's a meet-up or a con or anything else amongst friends, as soon as there is an occasion i'll grab it with both hands to get frilled up.

>tfw getting a degree in fashion and merchandising and see all this shit

I guess I should say something on topic. So. Confession. Uh.

I used to hate teaparties but for some reason I am a changed woman and now want to own a rainbow of teaparties.

>>7056687
Hate to be the bearer of bad news, but to normal people you don't look rich.
9/10 times people who approach me ask me if I made my outfit.
You'd be better off putting your money towards designer purses and shoes if you want to flaunt your wealth.

>>7058193
Nobody would call that dress ita unless you wore it with fishnets and cat ears. It's one of Baby's classic designs that's continually re-released because because people still like it.

>>7059318
^ My doppelganger.

>>7059322
>implying I care about how filthy casuals think I look
If I cared about looking expensive to a typical person I would invest in designer purses and shoes, but it's actually more for me than anyone. I like looking in the mirror and seeing how much money I'm wearing. I'm a self-absorbed person and when I look in the mirror and see how costly I look, it feels good. Not that you give a shit, but I think this line of thought stems from the fact that I lived in hand-me-downs for years as a kid and now I've finally gotten to a place where I can spend heaps of money on yours truly.

(I think that's the best way I could word it)

>>7056079
Don't pity grimace, constructively critique! Granted, I might have a thicker skin than most, but I'd MUCH rather have someone give me a (politely-worded) suggestion if I'm doing something wrong than have them roll their eyes behind my back.

I can't stand noobs in this fashion. I don't have the patience to google everything for people and I don't understand why they can't do some goddamn research on their own. I feel very cold and disconnected from my local community because I rather have 1 "elistist brand whore" friend who dresses very well than a community full of idiots praising me.

fuck people I'm not sorry i work my ass off to buy all the brand i want and you're too stupid to get a good job, let alone figure out what doesn't look like total shit.

>>7058657
>>7058678
Eh, I have a wide man-face, I just fix it with contouring when I have enough patience for it.
>Most of the time I walk around and look like a pretty man
Btw, pls lift and look like a warrior babe
>THERE ARE ENOUGH OF SMALL-SHOULDERED WOMEN WHO CAN'T IN TO WAR

>>7058764
Aren't there lolita dresses that looks like halter tops? If I'm not totally mistaken they should work great with wide shoulders!
http://www.typef.com/article/dresses-good-broad-shoulders/
http://www.typef.com/article/clothes-broad-shoulders/
>Maybe those links can help you
Don't listen to the second link with the spaghetti-straps though, I think it's only for dresses that fall straight down.

>>7059501
Found some other siter that argues that halter tops are bad, but maybe if you wear a jacket (don't know what it's called in lolita-terms) over your shoulders along with it, then maybe it could work? If I were you I would try stuff with regular clothing first and then buy lolita-garments that fit the guidelines you made for yourself.

I think I might have a crush on one of my lolita friends. She's so cute and we get along really well, but she's straight as a line and is already taken. I hate crushing on straight girls.

>>7059145
How are they "stupid"? You disagreeing with them over clothing doesn't denote anything other than disagreeing over clothing and shouldn't be making you feel so many feelings.

>>7059714
I feel you, anon. There's no lesbians in my local comm, apart from one girl who pretends to be but I've spoken to her about it and she says she just says that to ward off men.

>>7059714
>>7059814

That sad feel when surrounded by hot girls but already taken.

>>7059714
>>7059814
>>7059826
That feel...

Tfw you're engaged and happy but you secretly wanna bang the shit out of your lolita friend. Who is also taken, and straight.

>>7056899
I'm not the anon your responding to, but I understand where your coming with. Just join a local comm, even if you don't have an clothes yet, it's only one click of a button on facebook. Let the lolita friends come to you.

>>7057002
Take up boystyle or hang out with the girls outside of meets?

I feel like I'm missing out half the fun of lolita by being disabled. I've got a wardrobe full of beautiful clothes that I hardly ever wear because it's so difficult to get dressed into anything more than loose-fitting PJs. And even if I do manage to get dressed and go out the house, I can't go to meets because who really wants to be stuck with the girl in a wheelchair. I can't wear a full petticoat so that automatically makes me feel like some ita, even though I know it's acceptable to not wear one for things like that. It still makes me feel like I'm not a proper loli though. Part of me wants to sell everything, but another part of me can't bear to get rid of the only pretty things I own.

>>7057002

But you are a creep.

>>7057002
>>7057002
My friend Alex goes to loli meetups. He usually goes with my sister, but he sometimes goes by himself. He wear aristo.

>>7059875
>>7059875
*wears

>>7059862
:(

I hope that you can feel better about being in a wheelchair. Anyone who wouldn't want "to be stuck" with you just because of a disability is an idiot.

Somebody just bought the last blue version of Bodyline's Costume295 that was in stock and I'm angry.

If it was one of you guys, I hope it looks ugly on you. I hope it makes you quit lolita forever.

>>7057090
suck it up! It's only an hour away.

>>7057090
If you don't know your comm, try getting to know them before having them come visit you. That way, they feel like there's actually a reliable person hosting, plus you don't want to look like you don't want to go to their meets so instead you want them to come to you.

>>7060621
Don't worry, I'm sure that particular piece looks like shit on everyone. Whomever purchased it probably did you a big favor.

>>7060848
Look at this shit.

It's gorgeous.

>>7060989
woops dropped my pic related.

>>7060992
Love this dress. I was a bit iffy about it until I saw a girl in my comm dress up the blue one a few months ago and wow, it's actually gorgeous.

>>7061001
It really is.

Watching Sailor Moon makes me want it even more for some reason.

>>7056830
a winery tour or wine tasting meet would be so great

>>7061485
Lolita brunch with mimosas would also be cool.
Or a classy new years/holidays party with champagne and whatnot.
>tfw I will never have loli friends to hold fancy, frilly parties with.

Lolita confession:
As a fat person, "fat acceptance" pisses me off, but people who judge someone SOLEY because they are fat bothers me even more. This is everywhere, but the lolita community is really mean about it.
Yes there is a difference between curves and rolls, but that shouldn't make or break a coord.

>>7061457
i ordered this in the black colorway and am anxiously awaiting its arrival

>>7058463
Anon, i was exactly where you are a few months ago, and its really shitty you're dealing with feeling like that. I hope you can find support and treatment because nobody deserves to feel that way. Once you start to recover, you'll find things besides spending that help alleviate the shitty feelings. I know how hard it is though, just remember this isn't forever and you're going to get through it. Off you have a friend you can talk to about it,
go for it. Good luck in the future.

I think this would make a really cute skirt.

>>7061670
Waaaant.

>>7061538
neat. i feel that but have you ever considered/ tried losing weight? just curious.

>>7061693
Wow, this makes me sick.

>>7061702
Why?
It's mostly a factual argument, mean spirited if anything tho.

>>7061722
The picture. It's a damn good argument. Maybe I should have clarified.

>>7059862
If you're a cool person to be around your wheelchair is irrelevant. I wish you were local to me so I could help you dress up and we could have secret garden meets and tea parties.

>>7059862

Have you considered a petticoat made with all the fullness in the front, like more of an apron than a petticoat? You don't need the fullness in the back if you're sitting all the time. Seems like it would make it easier to get dressed for you- if it tied around the waist?

I have faith in you, wheelchairloli. Follow your heart

So last night, instead of spending my Friday evening on /cgl/, I went out with some coworkers/friends of mine. We had drinks, danced, and did typical 21+ activities.

While I had a good time, I couldn't help but think how much more fun I'd be having if dressed in my frills and drinking tea with my comm. Also, insert standard "no close loli friend" complaint here.

I keep wanting to have a mini meet where everybody goes for cocktails, or even just go with some people to grab some post-meet, but I worry I don't really know anybody well enough for that yet.

>>7061810
Try anyway! Don't people often go to bars to meet more people?

>>7059862
>I can't go to meets because who really wants to be stuck with the girl in a wheelchair
No one feels this way. Anon you sound like someone who worries and assumes that people will think poorly of you automatically and thats really not usually the case. You aren't ita and no one thinks that the girl in the wheelchair is some kind of freak.

I really want to join the chicago lolita community, but i'm so much younger than everyone.

sometimes whenever I see Itas i think about punching them, then i literally have to stop myself from doing so.

>>7061827
2edgy4me.
guess what, kid?
you're exactly like a violently elitist goth. exactly the same.
enjoy wallowing in your own faggotry because nobody is proud of you for that.

>>7056801
Im the second poster you agreed with. I had a bad experience with an older ita and now i just don't offer advice. I think its compassion fatigue? Im an elitist b/c helping someone puts me in a situation where i have to stick my neck out and im sick of doing that for people i don't know or care about. I stay out of the way of itas and weebs and i organise secret meets where my friends and i have fun and its better this way.

>>7057309
Silly question anon but did you find out if she also vanished from her family? If she really vanished it might be a good idea to actually report her missing, it sounds like it happened a while ago and thats not ideal but if she is in trouble or sick then it might help.

>>7057950
not the person you were replying to but yes, i wear loli to the supermarket. I also wear loli to the bank, to the post office, and to go for walks and normal crap.

>>7058081
people actually complain about this?

>>7061919
I wear Bodyline out for every day stuff. If it gets damaged then hey, it's only Bodyline.

I look at Lolita like I look at my 'normal' clothes: Brand gets worn for special occasions, Bodyline & Taobao for every day stuff.

In saying that, my everyday stuff is the plainer end of Lolita. It's not like I'm popping to the Post Office in OTT sweet or anything.

>>7061923

Yeah, they do. I remember a while back some girls in our comm had a meet that wasn't really a proper meet, I think it might have been a birthday or an invite only meet for a girl who just wanted friends to be there or something? And one of the girls who went posted here and an anon started bitching about how they'd lied about it not being a meet and it being a secret meet and all that nonsense. People can be remarkably immature about these things.

>>7059182
Ya know... universities offer more than just two classes: not just science or bullshit.

>>7061929
Oh id agree that i tone it the fuck down to go out and run errands! Im not OTT sweet or even sweet at all so mostly i just look old fashioned and people don't really seem to see that as super weird. I only own a couple of bodyline blouses actually so i often wear brand on a day to day basis.

>>7061932
Wow thats fucking stupid. I live in a large city with a small CBD and since a couple of us live in town we often run into each other going places in loli. Sometimes ill meet up with a few loli friends for tea and not invite everyone and their dog. Damn silly to complain about people associating with each other like normal human beings, tell the anon to get fucked.

>>7059318

I got my degree in fashion and merchandising and I regret getting this useless degree I can do absolutely nothing with.

>>7061818
what's the age avg.?

I say Jane Marple in the same way James Baxter says his name

>>7061995
most of us are like, 20somethings but a few are older teens and some are in their 30s. come to a big meet and make some friends. the newer lolis are mostly younger and really sweet.

Lolita confession:

the week before my period I feel really fat and bloated, none of my clothing fits me properly so I always prefer to shirred brand instead even though I can fit into unshirred brand.

>tfw
>having a vagina is a struggle

>>7061693
I have actually lost 78 lbs in the past 8 or so months, so yeah, I'm taking the steps necessary. I'm still big at 210, though.
I just feel like a good coord should always be a good coord, regardless of who it's on.

The longer I've been involved in lolita, the more certain things that I thought looked fucking ridiculous as a normalfag I now pretty much like. They've grown on me so much.
Teaparties- thought they looked like shoes for toddlers and the round toe looked immature.
OTT sweet- couldn't stand the aesthetic and especially thought japanese ott looked like clown costumes.
Big wigs- hated teased out wigs and hime styled wigs, but then they grew on me too when I started to see how much they can balance an outfit.
Plastic jewelry- used to laugh because I thought it was the biggest waste of money ever, especially when people said how they broke.
Brand shoes- thought I was being so smart by suggesting replicas, but then again, some shoes were just not replicated well & with good quality.

this shit's actually really itchy

>>7062339
I'm the same and I really wonder if it isn't just an osmosis or effect of saturation - I've just seen it enough for it to grew familiar, therefore likable.

I always hated flat lolita shoes, yet now I own three pairs of TPs. But there's still sometimes that sudden brief moment when I see my reflection and feel really stupid and childish for wearing them. And then I go and buy another pair.

>>>7059887
>>7061771
>>7061775
>>7061814
Thanks guys, that really cheered me up. I guess I just feel super down about things because my local comm always go to the same teashop which isn't really wheelchair accessible (it's two floors, downstairs only has tables that seat 1 or 2 people, but the main seating area is upstairs where I wouldn't be able to get to) and when I asked about going to a meet the organiser just said "Well it's not my fault about the stairs. You can meet up with us after we have tea. We're going to walk in the park." We're an old fashioned town, there are at least 8 tearooms within a 5min walk of each other and I know 3 of them are definitely wheelchair friendly.

I know it's selfish to want them to change their plans once in a while and go to another place, especially since they hardly know me.

>>7062465
That's not selfish to want them to do that once in a while. Hell, they sound like selfish bitches for making you miss the relaxing half of the meet and then have to follow them around in a park. It's not like it's too much to ask, to go to a place just like any other except, you know, no stairs.

Maybe you should organize your own meetup?

>>7062465
I say go organize your own meet. The other girls in your comm sound really rude and disrespectful, what the fuck kind of attitude is it to say "well it's not my fault they have stairs, but we're never gonna go anywhere else so you can join us for tea"?
Plan your own meet in a wheelchair-accessible teashop, and see which people come. If people aren't even willing to show up just because it's another teashop, I'd say ditch the idea of being friends with them. Nobody needs people who are that inconsiderate.

I often borrow money at the last minute when there's a reservation with a short time limit (like Baroque).
Usually I blow all of my budget within 5 days, which is very embarrassing.
I want to put money in my savings account but it never seems to last more than 3 month cause a rare-ish dream dress will pop up for sale.
Try to be more strict but for some reason I'm terrible with that, how do I change this?
Buying seems almost like an addiction for me.

>>7062465
It's not selfish at all. It seems like a dumb thing to only want to drink tea at one place, anyway, since you guys have the opportunity to try out different places. Plan your own meet!

I'm somewhat of an elitist.
Comms need to scrutinise and have an application form, which includes pictures, you have shitty co-ords? Denied!
Or every comm should force people to wear at least one piece of brand or good quality taobao/indy and tell ita's and weebs to improve or piss off.
I know I sound angry, but I'm fed up with these ita's/weebs ruining every comm that used to be good.

>>7059112

I would pay to see that.

>>7062563
Sure, that would be the ideal, but how would the itas improve if they can't even join a comm to get concrit? I was the biggest ita ever when I started, but I went to meets and saw that everybody else were so well dressed, and I really wanted to be like them, so I started buying brand and taking inspiration from their beautiful coords. Now I'm the one guiding the newbies so that they can learn to dress good. Everybody needs to learn, and you learn quicker if you get help.
Besides, wouldn't the meets only revolve around bitching about ugly itas? The cattiness would go haywire. It seems like middle-school behavior to have an exclusive club only for the most beautiful girls.

>>7062549
I usually think about how much I will wear the dress, and wether it would actually fit me/my wardrobe. I used to impulse-buy a lot, and I ended up with 20 way too formal dresses of which 10 didn't even flatter me or match my wardrobe. Now I have a few criteria every new purchase needs to match: Will I wear it often or just for formal occasions? Does it flatter my body shape? Do I have stuff to make a coord with it? Is it a rare dress/really good deal?

>>7062334

Wow, that's really great Anon.
What did you do to lose weight?
I need to drop about 35 lbs cause I gained weight due to meds.
So far I tried calorie counting, working out excessively, low carb, low gi, etc but my weight just doesn't want to come off.

>>7056059
you are a fucking society reject, you CANNOT be elitist

ITT: entitled 16 yo white females
this board is without a doubt the worst of 4chan, end your existance you cum-swapping attention whores.

>>7062650
lolcow

>>7062660
I'd laugh if they were actually severely underweight from being anorexic and the pills were meant to get them at normal weight.

>>7062658

>doesn't understand 4chan, gets offended

>>7062663

Actually, they were for nerve pain.

>>7062668
Well that's not funny at all

>>7062665
only primitive inferion beings could obsess over something so trivial like this lolita fad, trully women will be the end of our society
also
>tumblr

>>7062650
Different anon here, but I've lost 65lbs since my highest weight of 215. I'm aiming for another 20.

What I did:
- Calorie Counting: I eat between 1200 and 1600 per day, usually aiming for 1300-1400. I try to have meals with a good portion of lower fat protein (chicken/turkey) which helps with keeping fuller longer. I also eat 3 times a day plus two small low-calorie and nutritious snacks. I don't give up anything in particular, but I have things in moderation. Bad days are okay, I have one every couple of weeks (or every week depending on the situation) and it doesn't hinder my progress. It actually helps remind your body that you're not in a starving situation.

- Working out: I walk and gradually added in a bit of jogging for my cardio. I lift a bit at home to tone up my arms and try to work my flat non-existant ass. I also unload trucks at work every week and do heavy lifting there so that helps a bit with strength training. It's hard because I work a full-time job so I can't always make it to gyms. I prefer to work out at home and enjoy the scenery outdoors anyway.

If you are stagnating there could be several reasons. Your medication could've caused it, or if you are still on those meds, that might be it. There might be other reasons that you may have developed, so it might be best to see a doctor to get an idea. You could also be eating too few calories, you shouldn't eat less than 1200 to maintain proper brain function. Eating too few can fuck up your metabolism and make you hold onto weight.

>>7062303
are you in the chicago comm? this is too young anon here

>>7062650
Well, first off, how long of a period of time have you been calorie counting? I'm counting calories, and it's seemed to really work for me.
Mostly, I've been drinking a TON of water, taking multivitamins, counting calories, and not being totally lazy.
I wake up, clean house, take my dog out for an hour long walk, then go to my waitressing job. Rinse repeat.
I usually eat things that I consider I get "the most bang for my buck" on. The most amount of nutrition for the least amount of calories possible.
Basically, I took my diet from Big Macs and chicken nuggets and soda to grilled chicken, roasted cauliflower, and water.

>>7061934
This. I'm not worried about accidentally spilling equations all over my dress in math class.

My confession:
I wear Lolita every time I go out, not to work, as I have to wear uniform. Only when I have day off. Therefore my wardrobe consists 90% Lolita, rest is Mori when I have to go out quickly to buy milk etc....
My issue is that most of Lolitas I know and see on internet try to create over the top coords, especially for meets (and the bigger meets), with huge head dresses, bigger and more extravagant, the better.
I, on the other hand, have classic more toned down dresses suitable for every day use, and I feel like I'm not good enought when wearing similar style on meets. I think I would feel like I'm dressing up with OTT accessories, rather than enjoying fashion.

I hope that makes sense....

>>7063140
I kinda feel you on this one. It's starting to feel more and more like creating a really extravagant costume than actually wearing a fashion.

>>7061992
lol'ing because i go the same degree and i'm doing pretty well

>>7063140
>>7063158
i too, feel this feel.
The giant gothic bonnet from BTB comes to mind.

>>7062676
only primitive inferion beings could obsess over something so trivial like this anime/video games/comics/waifu/mecha/toy/pokemon/traditional games fad, trully otaku will be the end of our society

Nobody in my city knows what lolita is. The closest I've found is my foreign friend who seems to think all Japanese fashion is lolita, and she called me a lolita before I even owned a petticoat or a skirt that reached my knees. She calls herself lolita but doesn't wear anything but normal clothes. Everyone else has the typical opinion of lolita, even the people who like it: black and white lace monster maid dresses short enough to show the tops of thigh highs, cat ears, and a maxi pad headdress. I feel so trapped here and I love my friends but their otaku level is just so below mine that it almost hurts to bite my tongue when they talk about anything Japanese, especially fashion (luckily some of my male friends do watch good anime but I have trouble being friends with boys for reasons). I hate feeling elitist and I hate being seen that way, it just makes me sad to be so passionate about something and have no one around me understand it. Luckily I should be moving within the next couple years.

Also I dream about lolita far too much. My bad dreams are that I put on an expensive dress and it's too short or not fluffy enough. I'm obsessive and it's awful but I love it.

>>7063399
I'm staying with my parents in between school terms, and last night I had a nightmare in which my mother put my brand in the washer.

>>7063140
>>7063158
This is why I wear toned down sweet in my everyday life and wear OTT only at meet ups (and not always then). I think part of the reason people can't imagine themselves wearing lolita out and about is because they're constantly imagining really elaborate coords.

>>7063158
I wonder what Japanese Lolitas think about it. For me it's the dress that is the most important thing in coord, but lately I've noticed that it's the head dress that most Lolitas focus on (I only know UK comm, not sure if it's the same anywhere else.....)

I feel terribly inferior, not just within my comm, but in general, in terms of the fashion. I'm not ita at all, but just boring or plain, and they seem to be treated almost the same as ita now.
My face isn't pretty or ugly, just meh, my makeup skills are enough, but never amazing, anytime I think I've put an interesting coord together, someone tells me that I'm very toned down, or I find someone who wears it so much better than me. While I don't care what strangers think (since they all think it's crazy anyway), the opinions of people within the fashion matter too much to me, and I feel like no matter how hard I try, nobody ever notices my coords or effort. People compliment my main pieces (JSK/OP), but only for what it is, not for how I'm wearing it or whether or not it suits me.

I don't know, I love wearing the fashion, I've just been feeling terribly down about it for a while.

I also think I have something of a spending addiction, probably related to the above problem. I want more things in the hope that if I try new things, accessories, or new pieces that it might count for something.

I keep buying dresses. But since I'm fat, I never wear any of them, I just look at them in my closet from time to time. I feel terrible because I'm wasting money and I'm sure they'd be better off with someone who really wants them, but I can't bring myself to part with them either.

>>7063399
what country are you in?

>>7063465
are you me?

completely same situation here. my plain/boring coords don't bother me most of the time because i usually run around alone in lolita, so even plain/boring lolita sticks out. people also tend to respond more positively if you just look a little fancy vs. outlandish, imo. but i always feel like the plainest ugly duckling at a meet. even when i try to dress up more for an event, i'm so worried of looking horrifically ita that i'd rather play it simple.

>>7063472
I bought a bunch of beautiful dresses over time and suddenly gained a bunch of weight (thanks, antidepressants!) and now I can't wear any of them except my one fully shirred skirt. And even that is tight. I too feel like I should give them up to someone who won't bust the stitching trying them on, but I can't let go of the hope that I'll lose weight. I've been working out and eating healthy, low calorie foods, and only gaining weight.

My doctor finally put me on a stimulant to reduce my appetite and boost my energy, so I want to believe I'll lose weight in time.

Pic related, how I feel all the time now.

I gained some weight in college and now I can't fit into most of my lolita clothes, all of which I bought while I was really, really tiny. It's pathetic. I also have some things I just can't seem to sell, despite that they have not been worn and I'm asking low prices on them... Idk.

Another thing, I'm half-tempted to sell almost all my clothes and rebuild my wardrobe in old-school gothic lolita, which is what I fell in love with years ago. High-quality lace, brocade fabric, velvet, silk, bonnets, religious imagery and roses... My heart flutters at the thought of when it is well done, I'm just afraid to take that kind of step... especially if I can't pull if off right. Pic related.

>>7064042
Hnnnggg, that wardrobe sounds amazing. I suggest that you go for it!
My confession:The popularity of some things on tumblr frustrates me. I see plenty of lovely coords that only get a few notes but then a closeup shot of a brand tag receives heaps.

>>7064042
how are your pictures? i always seem to have better luck if i re-post my stuff with better and prettier pictures

>>7064042

Seconding this >>7064066

If it's out of season stuff as well that could be a contributing factor.

What items/brands/etc are you trying to sell btw? If you give some details we my be able to help.

>>7057251
gif was so worth clicking on

>>7057306
> once they discovered Tumblr and became demisexual creepycute trendmongers.

omg

>>7058339
my wedding dress was not a costume. neither were any of my prom dresses. you're reaching anon

I have always wanted to host a meet up at the local Shakespeare playhouse in my town...tickets are $30-$50 a piece so I volunteer there and get a free ticket for every play I usher...finally worked up enough to get 8 tickets, which is enough tor a small meet but a good size..

Only to find out the FB lolita group either was deleted or I was booted from it. Keep in mind i had only posted a few times and never been to one of their meets because they're far away ,but I'm just really blown that I worked really hard to try and put together an interesting meetup and now I got nothing.

I hate the 'The Little Prince' print.

Is totally awful.

>>7064123

If I lived near you, anon, I would be on that shit like white on rice

>>7064123
damn, i'm really sorry anon. that actually sounds like a really cool meet.

>>7064124
woah i saw it on the sales comm today and thought it was gorgeous

>>7064123
I will fucking fly/drive all the way to you, anon.

>captcha which friendam

>>7064124
yeah, i've always felt like it was too busy and looked a bit like vomit, especially in some of the other colourways.
It could have been adorable if she hadn't made everything like galaxy vomit.

>>7056052
I posted in a lolita peeves thread ages ago about some drama between me and another girl in my comm and my boyfriend. lot's of A,B and C in place of peoples names.

And I just.... :')

Karma is a beautiful thing!

>>7064314
What happened?

>>7057198

In a VERYVERY similar situation as you. Have all of my lolita items in storage from years ago and not sure how to get back into it, since I got fed up with my local community and just ditched. Too much drama and now, lolita doesn't mean the same thing to me because of those immature memories.

>>7064314
Ahh, do tell.

>>7063140
This is exactly my situation. I find myself reusing the same accessories over and over again and it feels like people might think it looks repetitive. And then I get in the habit of wearing toned down lolita, and go to a meet, and everyone's fancy as shit, and I'm like, wow, I did not put enough thought into this.

>>7064426
I understand you completely, the internet has put all this pressure to create over the top coords, and a need to have new coords for every meet up/gathering. This makes me grateful as hell that my comm is made up of younger (I'm the oldest at 26) girls that dress relatively simple.

I fap wearing lolita.

>>7062334
it starts to get harder around 90kg

>>7063252
you forgot the worst and most boring obsessions:
cars and lifting

I absolutely hate head accessoires like big bows and especially bonnets.
On the other hand I have a thing for small antlers (inb4 tumblr) due to the fact deers are one of my favourite animals and I think they're very pretty. Non-oversized animal horns generally look cute to me

I find gothic lolita very boring and ugly

Oh god mine is dumb and cliche as fuck but I honestly never feel beautiful unless I'm wearing lolita. I seriously almost cried when I wore my first coord for a meet few months ago because it was the first time I ever considered myself to be beautiful.

Sorry for the dumb sappy confession. Another one I have is that I really hated whipped magic for the longest time, and now it's starting to grow on me, eugh.

>>7064390
>>7064423
My entire comm finally found out about the situation and just what a shitty person said girl is in general.

feels good man.

>>7064042
join old school master race anon-san

>>7064547
It's not exactly weight that matters but more measurements. I found 110cm bust / 90cm waist to be quite difficult. I'm at 100cm bust and 83cm waist right now and I find things to be a lot easier and I have a lot more choices. But I'm still regulated to full back shirring and will still need shirring when I get to my goal.

Another thing with measurements, and a bit more on the confession side. It sort of annoys me when I post my measurements and people scream "OMG SO FAT". There are people who can't fathom being any larger than 81cm bust, and have tiny frames. On them, those measurements would make them look hugely obese. Other people are built differently. At my current weight and measurements, my collarbones are jutting out, I can see bones starting to show on my chest above my bust, my legs are tiny and I just have a small amount of weight I need to lose. Yet my goal weight and measurements may seem massive compared to others. I think too many people are pre-occupied with their own experience and frame of reference to understand others. Not everyone can be tiny and fit into unshirred brand even if they do put in every effort.

TL;DR: Shirring isn't just for fatty-chans, people.

>>7064668
>"OMG SO FAT"
In general that's pretty annoying anyway, and it brings to mind kids with autism who feel the need to point out and shout very obvious things that are unrelated to the topic at hand. Akin to shouting about how someone is ~so tall~ or ~so skinny~, like we know, now who cares?

I saw some Haenuli stuff irl, and I was hugely disappointed. It wasn't terrible, but with this cat print for example, the rolled hem on the sleeves and the printing on the neckline look so cheap. The bodice also looked boxy and overly-long.
I like a lot of their designs and I think they're one of the better non-Japanese indie brands, but the execution just isn't good enough to make me want to give them my money. There's always something off about their stuff (More often than not, being something with the bodice. Maybe they should stick to skirts?)

>>7064668
Not the person you were replying to
Just to let you know you could actually have far under your rib cage and that is really dangerous. I had simulur size and could count with my eyes my ribs.
My doctor actuall had an MRI done on my body to make sure I was actuall skinny fat and put me on a speical diet. I've lost the hidden fat now and much skinner now

>>7064683
...you're either drunk or English isn't your first language. Ugh.

>>7064685
substitute fat for far and it makes sense. Typos happen.

>>7064683
I'm actually pretty muscular. I've got roughly 20lbs of extra body fat I need to lose. But that will put me at a 30" waist. If I were able to get to a 24" waist, that would put me at 87lbs, with a BMI of 14.5. No thanks. I can live without Mary Magdalene in my wardrobe.

I want to scam this girl who swears that lolita comm sales are holier than thou because they use feedback, thus no one can ever be scammed because of it.

>>7064816
Same here. I'm overweight, but also have what my family calls "old german milkmaid" build. Tall, broad shoulders, wide ribcage, big ol birthing hips. Even if I lose all my fat and get down to goal weight (for my build, doctor said 150 at minimum) my waist will still be like 30 inches.
Still no idea where this shape comes from cus my mom didn't hit size 10 until after three kids, and my paternal grandmother was less than 100lbs through her entire pregnancy with dad, and at my age she still had a 20 inch waist.

I don't even care about a dress unless the skirt has room to accommodate for a monster amount of poof.

>>7065288

Are you me? Every single woman in my family is built like they've worked potato fields their entire lives.

Feels bad, man.