/cgl/ - Cosplay & EGL

This is happening to me. The girl isn't really my friend, her and her girlfriend are edgy pseudo-pagan hangers-on who kind of want to be me (No fucking clue why, I'm not exactly a good role model.) and they just... Let's just say they're both in their later teens but have the mentality and fashion sense of twelve year old "emo" kids.

this is tough territory because teens and young adults are still discovering themselves and experimenting with limits.
It's how humans learn from the time we are very young.

From a grown up perspective I say keep trying to nudge them in the better direction. You could say that, "Making outfits has a learning curve and I don't want you to look back and say, Why didn't our friend tell us we looked so meh?"

If they reply that they don't need help you then need to point out that EVERYONE needs help. You either look to blogs for inspiration, copy a pattern from a book, ask a lolita friend for advice. You don't dive into it without some help.

You just want to be a good buddy and make sure they don't fall into the same traps and pits that people usually do. Why do that when you have a friend that can help you skip the awkward stage?

I'd say keep doing what you're doing. Gently nudge them. Hopefully they get the message.

My best friend wanted to get into lolita when I did, and she had seriously terrible taste. I always nudged her in the right direction, teaching her the different brands and styles, proper terminology and such, and now, several years later, she's beautiful and well-coordinated. She still asks my opinion on some things (I ask for hers as well) and for things she doesn't know, like the name "canotier".

I think that as long as you're being nice about it, there's no harm done.If they don't listen, they can't ever hate on you for not telling them, and you won't feel guilty if they regret it later.

I feel you OP, it's a really difficult situation. I've had people tell me I sound bitchy when I'm trying to explain what Lolita is about. I had a friend tell me they "want to dress up as a Lolita maid for the upcoming con" last week, but she actually listened to me and agreed which felt great.

>>6934184
Is that the Joanne's fabric you're talking about.
I feel guilty admitting this but I think it looks rather cute. not lolita but something ETC might use for a mori dress.
Please don't kill me

i was dressed in tumblrgoth style to a potluck and a friend I hadn't seen in about a year comes up to me and starts gawking over my outfit.
I guess that was cool, but it wasn't before long until 'do you dress in lolita every day?" comes up and she points to my outfit.


I felt like crying and tried to show her the blatant difference.

But then she goes on and says she wants to get into cosplay lolita stuff
And like, at first I thought she was just talking about BOTH style because, believe it or not I DO know girls who do both, individually of course.


But nope. She believes they're the same thing.

I think I'm going to cry.

>>6935556
Same, that's cuter than I expected or have seen on most itas. I don't really wear sweet so I would use it for something else (a lunch tote maybe?) but it's not that bad. I guess maybe too loud for lolita with all those colors?

>>6935556
>>6935614
I bet it's not the Joann's fabric. This is what I'm used to seeing in terms of cupcake prints when I'm at that store fabric shopping.

>>6935614

Yeah the more I stared at it after posting the more I felt that it would be cute as a tote or a pillow case or something

>>6935650

Yes that is much closer to the type of print they were choosing...


Thinking back I would have given anything to have a close friend help me with my first coords, we all started somewhere right? I'll just keep being patient and helpful, hopefully it will work out. Thanks for the encouragement guys.

>>6935599

I'll cry with you anon.

>Someone I knew wanted to get into lolita after seeing me get a few prints.
>She was headed to Japan for a class trip and they were going to have one free day in Harajuku, specifically the area around LaForet.
>Even better, they were going during Lucky Pack time
>Perfect! Show her Metamorphose because she's on the bigger side and Meta's LP's have full outfits that can be dressed up and down
>She seems to be taking the information and I even give her a print out
>Off to Japan she goes
>Comes back and I ask her what she got in her Lucky Pack
>"Well anon, I saw some cute shops in the street selling cheap lolita stuff so I bought dresses from there."
>Thinking it's Bodyline, I ask for pictures
>She managed to find the most hideous black x white lace with detachable triangle sleeves and a White x black lace OP
>Both dresses added up to more than the Meta LP

I still cry about her not taking advantage of LP's

>>6936121
That is the saddest story I've heard. I'm so sorry for you Anon.

>myself and 2 of my friends started lolita together about a year ago
>One decides that Lolita is too expensive and starts doing steampunk instead
>The other is decent, but refuses to get involved in the community outside of tumblr, and her coords kinda show.
>Both say they don't want to join the local community because it's "probably full of brandwhores and dramabitches"
>MFW my local comm is literally drama-free and full of awesome lolitas.

>>6936208
People who assume there will be drama usually are the drama. It's the same as girls who say they "Don't usually get along with other girls"

>>6936208
People who assume there will be drama usually are the drama, it's the same with girls who say they "Don't usually get along with other girls"

Same problem OP but the person isn't a friend and is supposedly a fashion expert in the city i live in.

She talks about how lolita is both cosplay and age play. She gets really angry when people disagree with her version of what lolita is and she lashes out violently. The lolitas in my city are pretty scared of her now and it really sucks to have that tension hanging over us.

>>6936234
This! Mod of a busy community here and every single person i have ever banned from a comm has said when they first joined that they "OMG HATED DRAMA"

>>6936234
That's because that mentality is one common to the immature. Most of us grow out of it by the time we hit high school, because we realise that the "girls" in our heads are caricatures and not real people.

It's not that these people actually don't get along with other girls, it's that they think they're different to every other girl alive and thus superior, because they've got their heads up their asses and can't get unstuck.

>>6936208
newcomer, what in the world is this gif from?

I'd say definitely kwwp trying to put them on the right track, but don't be too harsh or you'll just end up pissing them off and making them not want to listen to you.
When I was a new lolita, I wasn't too well-dressed, but I joined a comm full of amazing-looking girls and even seeing how lovely they looked made me realise I wasn't doing it right and I wanted to badly to improve and look as good as them, so I did, and I think I'm one of the best-dressed girls in the comm today. But if any of them had been like "HEY, YOU LOOK LIKE SHIT" or had been rude in any other way, I know I probably would have just disregarded their advice and kept on my ita way.
So keep giving them advice, but don't be too hard on them, and they'll either eventually decide lolita isn't for them or they'll decide to get their asses in gear so they can look as good as you. I mean, they're probably into the fashion because they like the way it looks on you, right?

>>6936298
keep*, haha

>>6936208
isn't steampunk just as expensive?

>>6936307
Not if you do it hildekitten style. Homemade spats and a bunch of layered hobo clothes from Goodwill = *~*steampunk lolita*~*

>>6936307
Honestly, even more so. You've got the cost of the clothing, which is on par with lolita to begin with, plus the cost of props and accessories.

>>6936307
Yeah- especially if you want to do steampunk well. You either fork out the cash for all the props, gadgets, and costumes, or fork out the money so you can make them yourself.

The only money saver is that steampunks usually have one or a few outfits, but lolitas on average have a closet of ~20 main pieces.

>>6936307
No. It's just brown clothes and goggles. It only costs a lot if you get hair falls.

/whyileftthatscene

>>6936887
Apparently you have a shitty community. 50% of my community are artists, 30% experienced tradesmen, and the rest are folks that are new and want all the advice from the prior for making awesome working props. Of course, we have a few groups that come and go that are in for the popularity- but the regulars are really talented.

I'm guessing you're not super interested since you left, or I would suggest that you become the change that you want to see in Steampunk. People don't just turn from ita to glam overnight, they need some guiding hands.

>>6936265
No idea, man. I honestly just save any gifs I like, I never really check into it.

>>6936234
Friend again. I'm going to agree with you. Especially considering the decent girl recently got mad at me for going to a con without her despite the fact that I reminded her multiple times to buy her damn ticket. The other steampunk girl very recently cut all ties with me because I was being a "toxic person in her life" aka I won an argument with her on the internet.

>>6936920
Lol. I was just being sarcastic. I know there's a strong community in my area, probably one of the biggest and the best in the country, but there's also a huge amount of people I really don't want to associate with and none of my friends are in to it anymore. One day I may make the outfit I had planned to just cuz, but overall it's not a scene I care to be a part of anymore.

>>6936265
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20080709163641AAv0h8X