/cgl/ - Cosplay & EGL

When I started in Lolita I never thought e-fame would be addictive but it is. I started to crave the attention people gave me every time I posted online and now I can't stop craving it.

I suck cock for money.

I can't remember the last time I ate. My body is so flawed now - I genuinely hate myself.

Also, what the actual fuck captcha?

I framed my friend for scamming because I was jealous of her really rich boyfriend that bought her everything she wanted. I hacked into her email which had her LJ and her paypal and scammed people for like $900. She's really sweet, and got along well with everyone. I've always sort of trolled my comm, but they ended up blaming her for it because of the scamming problem. I also kept the money that I scammed with her account and bought iron gate.

I hate the bitch who split our comm into two. Now we're starting to become like the NYC comm because this bitch wants to be e-famous

>>6374963
I know who you are.

>>6375019
Do I know who you are? Who am I?

>>6375022
You're megamikawaii lol it's too obvious

>>6375023
The funny thing is that's a fake name. The even funnier thing is that I used her boyfriends computer while I was visiting her. I don't want to cause any stupid drama about it though, but I still find it really funny.

>>6375026
>I don't want to cause any stupid drama about it though, but I still find it really funny.

You deserve 'stupiddrama' over that shit.

>>6375057
It's not as if anyone thinks she was framed. Any drama mongers who come on here all hate her now and I'm still in the comm.

>>6375063
I have no clue what's going on, but someone should clear that girl's name...

I have developed an eating disorder.

This is the first time I could ever admit this.

In the past I used to make myself sick over the belief that I was too fat, but I never used the words 'bulimia' or 'eating disorder'.
In the last seven months I've been struggling to try and be the person I want to be, and that person is bone thin. My ultimate goal weight is just to die slowly and painfully in a way that nobody will blame me for , because , of course, I'm sick.

I keep under 1000 calories a day, but usually take about 500-800, I'm on a triple dose of diet pills and i'm taking extra caffiene to speed shit up. My pulse is high , breathing is difficult, but I don't even care anymore, I just want to be the skinniest.

My head is a mess, all I'm thinking about is food or trying not to eat. Everything will be better when I'm thin, the lolitas and cosplayers online will like me, and the girls in my comm will invite me to meets.

I've never not fitted into brand, it's not about that anymore, I just want to go from the ugly duckling to the beautiful swan.

My boyfriend starting shouting at me two days ago that I have a problem and I need to seek help, but he's seen how little I've eaten since and he hasn't said anything, so i'll assume he's just going to leave it alone.

I've been using girls in my comm as thinspo

>>6375072
>breathing is difficult
I felt -especially- bad for you after reading this because I have breathing problems and also have an eating disorder... so I take a triple dose of my meds because stuff that help you breathe usually make your heart beat faster as well (which burns calories). My lungs are terribly weak and don't function properly without medication but since I take it all the time I breathe just fine.

Idk if that made sense.
Also, I feel all of those feels.
Hope things get better for you.

>>6375067
>>6375067
Don't worry about it. I'm sure anyone here will just think that I'm her anyways, plus she's banned since the IP addresses matched up since I posted from a computer she always used.

>>6375072
> he's seen how little I've eaten since and he hasn't said anything
I'll probably add to your problems, but your boyfriend seems genuinely concerned for you. He probably hasn't said anything because he doesn't know what to do for you anymore and may start looking for a way out of your relationship.

I wish you the best of luck in your endeavours, anon. I hope that you can confide in someone that's closer to you, because I'm also worried in your view of yourself. There is so much more in life to see. I hope that you will one day seek help, lose weight (and keep the weight off) the healthy way, and things will get better for you.

I love beating up my boyfriends. My most recent ex, I was lucky enough to find out was into BDSM and loved being dominated. I used to hit him until he cried, and the best part was that he loved it.

With my other boyfriends, I wasn't so lucky, and usually had to find another excuse to attack them. I've split lips, given black eyes and concussed my boyfriends in the past, and they all stayed with me regardless.

I don't even get any sexual pleasure from it. I don't get sexual pleasure from anything. I just have this undeniable urge to hurt them and make them scared of me.

I have never been abused or raped, only one of them ever hit me back and I made him bleed. I've never done it in Lolita for fear of them ripping or bleeding on my burando, but the idea of being prim and proper in my frills and fucking up a guy's face electrifies me.

>>6375080
I didn't realise other people did shit like this too, thanks anon,it's kind of comforting.
>>6375095
We haven't been together very long, and since I've been with him I only lost 20lbs, so he probably doesn't see it as an issue right now, I also flat out denied that I had a problem.

My best friend has started to show signs of an ED too,she's been tripple dosing her diet pills and starving and we openly encourage each other.
It doesn't help that we're both into lolita either because all that we talk about now is how much prettier we'll look if we don't eat x or cut another thing out of our diets.

I don't think there is anyone I can talk to, I tried one session of counselling but i just brought up old family and ex boyfriend issues and made me cry for days.

>>6375126
Pretty OT but what diet pills do you take?
Are there any you'd recommend?

>>6375102
You should probably seek help, that's incredibly fucked-up. Either that or only date masochists.

>>6375140
This. Are there any diet pills I can take that will help even if I am eating alot? My boyfriend really cares about me and he'd notice. I already don't eat at all when he's not home but I have to eat dinner with him.

>>6375146
>Are there any diet pills I can take that will help even if I am eating alot?
I don't think you have an eating disorder, i think you have an reading disorder.
Anyway, read the /fit/ sticky. Eat lots, but burn it off.

>>6375156
Sorry I'm not the same anon, or any anon that commented about it.
I just recently came out of being anorexic(i'm just faking and eating again so everything seems fine), but I'm still very unhappy about how much weight I am re-gaining.

>>6375164
You can easily keep the wait on and low by making sure you eat the RIGHT KIND of food, and you work off what you do eat. That way you aren't malnourished, but you also keep yourself thin and entirely attractive.

Keep it to nice lean protein, veggies, and stay away from sugar and you'll be good. Also keep a caloric deficit dependent upon your current weight and goal weight. Then you never have anything to worry about :-D

>>6375164
Why though? You know you could just eat more, but work out more to give yourself a nicer body? It isn't even difficult.
Maybe you should care less about a number on a scale, and be more interested in what number you can push out on a bench press (which, by the way, gives girls even better boobs.). You'll stay thin, and look good. Plus being healthy.

>>6375164
>>6375156
>>6375146
>>6375140

I started off on '2 day diet' a japanese brand of diet pills which worked pretty amazingly, then after I finished two bottles I couldn't find them again so I started 'Magic slim', I'm on day three of magic slim and I haven't noticed anything, just rapid breathing and faster pulse, but thats probably because I'm taking way too many.

I've been considering laxatives, but I rarely leave the house without my bf and he might guess that something is up.

>>6375172
>>6375171
Those things take time and effort, in a disordered mind you just need to be slim now, and you don't give a shit about how much you're going to hurt your body, you just want that gap thigh, those collar bones and pencil thin legs now.

In addition to diet pills, I also cut out meat, dairy, candy and any food high in calories.

Now lets keep this thread on track please, confess!

>>6375177
But going on the Treblinka diet would take longer than if you just moderated your intake and did some exercise...
I thought the point was to look better? Surely thin with nicer boobs and arse looks better than ugly bones jutting out everywhere?
And i'm only posting on this line of thought because i came to the thread but realised my confessions are lame. So helping anorexics seemed more fun.

>>6375181
>>6375164 Here, I used to be fit in highschool, but ever since I got into lolita I began noticing things. How large my thighs looked, how chubby my arms are. I was at about 20 BMI before but that was too much. I just started noticing all the little bits of fat on me and thought it was disgusting to me and I wanted to get rid of it all. I couldn't get it out of my head. When I stopped eating at first I went vegan, I lost so much weight just from that, but it wasn't enough, I still wasn't happy.

Anyways, I'm getting a bit too personal now. Even after I had to go to get treatment even after I'm still eating now, I look in the mirror and all I see are flaws I desperately need to fix.

>>6375072
you just described my life
*sigh*

I'm too fat to have an eating disorder though

>>6375173
Don't take laxatives. If you're the ED anon - it's addictive. If you're not - it's addictive and you may develop an ED. It also hurts most of the time.

It's like, you poop a lot and your weight drops. If you already have an ED, it feels amazing to check the scale the next day and see you've lost 2lbs and you want to keep taking them as not to keep "excess weight" on your body (feces). And long-term, it really fucks your body.

If you don't have an ED, it helps bringing the terrible, addictive happiness that losing weight fast and by extreme dieting brings.

>>6375181
I don't want boobs.
I want to go back in time to looking like a skinny prepubescent girl
It's about so much more than just the way I look, and a lot about what I want to feel like.

>>6375193
Holy shit, that sounds exactly like me.

>>6375201
I am ED anon, and I think i'll start, 2lbs is a hell of a lot to lose almost instantly. sorry.

>>6375207
That 2lb will be poop, though. It won't be coming from your thighs or arms.

>>6375207
The problem is, it's just a number on the scale. It also fucks your digestive system. It also stops working as well over time and you'll have to take bigger quantities. It will also depend on how much you've eaten so after a while you'll take them after days of eating very very little, lose nothing and get frustrated. It also doesn't stop your body from digesting food and absorbing calories from it.
It can also cause your anus to prolapse.

Believe me, I'm the other anon who has an eating disorder: laxatives are not worth it. I'll puke, starve and exercise until I'm nearly passing out, but laxatives are where I draw the line.

>>6375207
>don't want boobs.
Well colour me surprised. I thought all girls were desirous of boobs, even more so than men.
But hey, if that's not your thing, you'd certainly be better off exercising with a healthy diet, just perhaps avoiding any bench press type of action and including a reasonable amount of cardio.
Do it right (i say right, but really it's almost the wrong thing to do, since what you want is what people who put the least amount of effort in would get), and you'll be looking like you wish in no time at all, for whatever possible reason that is.
Not to mention, that most prepubescent girls don't look like they'd be recently dug up, unlike those who sample from the Auschwitz menu.

>>6375072
Oh my, I know how you feel.

I'm disgusted by myself, and getting thinner gives me hope that I won't always feel this way. I've been struggling with it on-and-off since I was 15, but I'm spiraling out of control. I only leave my house to go to class and the gym these days, and I'm getting more and more anxious about that. I feel like everyone around me knows, and I panic when I'm in public. The only time I can stop thinking about it is when I'm exercising; it's the only place I can find solace.

Just know you're not alone. We'll get through this.

>>6375207
>It's about so much more than just the way I look, and a lot about what I want to feel like.

Exactly. It's only part of it to want to look like a stick thin Pullip doll.

>>6375214
>It can also cause your anus to prolapse.
Oh God, that's hilarious. I knew a girl who briefly turned to laxatives to lose weight. If i'd known that was a risk, perhaps i'd have made sure that she stuck with it a bit longer, just so she could truly enjoy the result of her silly choices.

Contrary to all the ED anons posting, Lolita actually helped me to realise that my body is great and I have nothing to worry about.

This fashion has a weird dichotomy: it's either fatty chans, or those teeny weeny "thigh gap" kind of girls who wear it. I've realised that I'm a happy medium between the two and don't need to lose or gain any weight.

Also, after looking at some of the girls who post nudes on tumblr and /soc/, I realised I was very lucky in the genetics lottery in terms of body shape and proportions.

>>6375211
>>6375214
Ok, i'll take you word for it.
I'm already essentially hooked on diet pills.

>>6375219
This isn't /fit/.

You're implying I don't excersize daily, eat the right things when I do eat.

this isn't about being kim kardashian, this is a mental disorder, it doesn't make sense, stop trying to rationalize something that is inherently irrational.

>>6375232
Well clearly you don't, otherwise you'd have the body you want. Just the way the body works.
And if you're able to realise you yourself have a mental disorder, odds are you don't have that disorder, lest you stop your silliness. Catch-22 and what-not.
To proceed after the realisation is just attention whoring, and this is /cgl/, not the place for that.

>>6375219
It's not about being healthy it's not about being skinny, it's having no fat, weighing nothing, losing weight. Because in my head my weight is awful, it's not skinny no matter how skinny I am to others. Even if I'm shown a comparison photo I don't notice a difference between me and someone 'fat' but I notice a huge difference between me and someone I'm told I am smaller than, and it's that I'm bigger. I don't perceive my weight as healthy.

>>6375223
original ed anon again.

I kind of don't want to get over it.

It feels so good when family and friends tell me I'm 'tiny' 'underweight' or 'skinny'.
The girl who hates me calls me chubby, fat and tubby, and this keeps me going and I just want to be so skinny that I'm impenetrable to her insults becuase she'll just know I'm better than her.

>>6375237
Just because you are aware of something doesn't mean you want help. You can have a clear grasp on what is happening, what you want, what you need and still not be able to do it with your own force of will.

>>6375219

you must be new here. lolitas don't want boobs. the smaller your boobs are, the better the dresses look.

>>6375240
Meanwhile she's probably just calling you those things because she already knows that, but wishes to drag you down.

>>6375237
That's like saying somebody is going to stop being schizophrenic after they've been diagnosed.

You have no idea.

>>6375242
What? No way. Not saying they need cleavage (fuck no), but B-C cups tend to make dresses look much better, and fit the theme better, i say.

>>6375244
I really hope so.

>>6375247
I would prefer no tits at all to be honest. I would say c-cups are too big , a-b are nice for lolita.

>>6375246
But in that kind of event, they may not believe it to be true. Or it could be a chemical thing.
Self diagnosed ED tends to just be a narcissistic issue, which calling a proper disorder belittles the actual ones.

>>6375250
I have 34A and I think they are nice, but I still feel like they are too large for me. I want them to be much flatter.

>>6375224
>>6375207
Oh, god, this. So much this.

I want to feel cute. I want to feel like I'm small. I want to wear short skirts and shorts and not feel like a slut because no one would ever think of my curve-less, skin and bones body in a sexual way. I want to put my feet on top of a table while I sit, just sit down and not worry about my thighs spreading and getting huge and disgusting. I want to have candid pictures of me being taken without worrying about some fat making me look disgusting.

I just want to feel comfortable and not ashamed of myself all the time, really. And a childish, skinny body would get me all of that. Fat, even if it's boobs, makes me uncomfortable and ashamed.

>>6375237
>otherwise you'd have the body you want

You clearly don't get it.
I could be 80lbs and still feel like my body isn't perfect.

>>6375250
I don't think i've ever seen a case of smaller boobs looking better than slightly larger ones on a decent outfit. Obviously someone who can work out a better co-ord, despite having smaller boobs, will look better than someone slightly more ita with decent boobs, but i've never seen it to be the case.
It's just more... feminine to have reasonable boobs accentuated in an outfit. Not emphasised, mind, just... there.

>>6375253
Yes, exactly! I want to feel cute and tiny and fragile. I want to be delicate and pretty and milky white. I don't think fat is pretty at all. I want a smooth chest and lithe features. I want to need to use sock glue.

I really feel the same about the last part. Fat makes me feel really uncomfortable.

>>6375247
that's what a non-lolita might think but nope, lolita looks better with flat chests. look at the models vs. girls who have boobs. boobs make the bodice ride up and look unflattering whereas having no boobs makes the bodice look flattering.

>>6375253
I just meant that you would have the body you want if you put enough effort into the appropriate diet/exercises.
Eg, i could bench 100kg, and not have the body i want without decent lats. The onus is entirely on me to work out the safest and logical way to remedy that.

>>6375262
Well, i'm a dude, so yea. But honestly, the bodice riding up that slight amount is worth it compared to looking bland and slightly dude-ish.

>>6375265
Not having boobs don't make you look like a dude!

>>6375265
Not having boobs does not make you look like a dude! It makes dudes not look at you.

>>6375267
What universe are you from? Of course it does. That's a masculine quality. As is a lack of curves.
Which is why i'm saying boobs and hips are more appropriate for lolita, because it's meant to be feminine.

>>6375263
What you're not getting is that there is no "body you want". There isn't a weight that would make someone with an eating disorder feel happy.

It's your body therefore it's disgusting and horrible. Doesn't matter whether you're 200 or 80lbs, skinnyfat or pure muscle, it's always going to be disgusting.

>>6375265
we don't care what you dudes think. this is about us and what looks good in the fashion in regards to how the style is marketed.

pic related: left = what i think is the ideal body type
right = boobs are too big

no offense to either lolitas because they are both fashionable but i think the girl on the left has the perfect body for the fashion.

>>6375271
lolita may be meant to be feminine for the designers but for me, i don't give a fuck what lolita is.

i wear it because it's pretty and my thought process doesn't go "i am wearing this because i want to be a super feminine princess~~~~*****"

>>6375265
>Guy who thinks we care what he thinks

LOL get out.

>>6375274
I don't think you're getting my point that it isn't about numbers.
The point is that if you want to work off all your fat, you can. You just have to put in the effort. If you think there's absolutely nothing you can do to make your own body tolerable to live in, you should either drink some concrete and harden the fuck up, or top yourself, because you have your options, but are just too lazy to take them.

>>6375283
This. If we cared what guys think we'd be chubby girls with big tits and ugg boots.

>>6375283
>Girl who would rather look ita
Bitch please, i've dated exclusively lolita's since i was 16 and have ended up knowing more about then half of them.

In retrospect, it was a bad type/fetish to pursue.

>>6375284
>thinks EDs are about laziness
>thinks that we want to work out and get nasty muscle that's also hard to get rid of.

I don't want to just work out I don't want to simply work off fat. I want to have no weigh. To me it is about weight.

>>6375293
Then wouldn't the logical choice be to off yourself? Why stay around and complain about it when it's something you can remedy? As long as you require sustenance, you're going to be unhappy.

Secret that isn't related to eating disorders:

I have an online friend who is trying to be a ~kawaii~ blogger. She doesn't say that but everything about her appears to be contrived as if she is trying to be cutesy. She has blogs, she writes in a stupid manner like "This blush makes me look so cute! I love the kirakira look it gives me! It has sparkles! I hope you liked my post! Please let me know what you will like to see next time *^^*" She used to be a cool girl but all I can think is that she is a complete tryhard and a possible attentionwhore. She doesn't do much to overly sell herself but I find her so annoying now and think that it is a persona. Maybe this is the new "real her" but it doesn't make it any less annoying. I stopped talking to her after she started this kawaii act so should I just end all communication now and burn the bridges?

>>6375006
Which comm are you from?

>>6375291
Looking at your shitty grammar, I'm assuming that you are still 16.

>>6375284
>implying I'm lazy
>implying I don't work out
>implying you are ever going to undertand

As I just said, even if I did work off all of my fat and even most of the muscle, it'd still be terrible.

Now please, just give up and go away. This isn't going anywhere.

Just saying, as a general response to a few of the posts here: I love delicious flat chests. Yes, I mean IRL and especially on lolitas.


Beloved flat chests, may we meet some day at a con. If we do, prepare to be treated as the royalty you are. I want you.

>>6375302
>Shitty grammar
Hey, I'm willing to take a lot of insults, but that is just not cool. Especially when there was nothing wrong with it.
Below the belt, love. Below the belt.

>>6375297
Welcome to mental illnesses, I'll be your guide.

>>6375023
Shit, that's jelly_candies right? I bought a wig from her and it sucks :(
What was the drama with megamikawaii?

>>6375306
Nothing wrong with it? Let me show you.
>Bitch please, i've dated exclusively lolita's since i was 16 and have ended up knowing more about then half of them.
>exclusively lolita's
>lolita's
>more about then half of them
>then

The entire post could have been worded better too.

I'm only a Nazi once guys think that all girls agree to their views. Accept that everyone is different and some of us will like a certain look and others will prefer another look. I, personally, think that boobs look fucking gross and I'm jealous of flat chested girls because all the clothes that I like hang better on them.

>>6375276
Is it my impression or Cadney is losing wight?

>>6375322
Maybe she is? I thought that she looked slimmer too.

I have a friend in my local comm and I don't even know why she's my friend anymore. She scalps everything and tries to scam her customers even if they're her friends. She's also fame hungry down to the bone and will do anything to be recognized as the queen of the Lolita community. I don't know what to do about it anymore because she's fun and I like dressing up with her but I can't take how horrible she acts and and how she steps on people to get ahead when it comes to Lolita.

>>6375318
Holy shit, I missed all that...
Though I do maintain that the wording was fine. At least for English.
And I'm not demanding that everyone accept my views, just stating that the commonly held societal notion of femininity is at odds with runway models wearing lolita.
Though looking back at my posts, I did certainly come across as a condescending dick, for which I apologise.

>>6375322
She posts on her tumblr that she's suffering from some illness so she's probably losing her weight from that.

>>6374963

You sound like a total bitch.

>>6375326
>I did certainly come across as a condescending dick, for which I apologise.
Not the quoted anon, but you get infinite kudos for that. I try to do that when I happen to act like an asshole and it's quite nice to see someone else doing the same.

>>6375173

I can not agree enough with >>6375201 Laxatives are the worst you can do to your body.

TMI ahead but:

When you take laxatives and I know you'll take too much since you already do that with pills, you'll shit all the time. You'll have a constant sort of shit slime leaking out of your anus and in the end, you'll be in diapers. You'll also piss yourself and after a while, your body will be so dependent on the laxatives you'll be constipated when you don't take them.

And that's just what happens at first, you don't even want to know how bad it can get without you even realizing it.

Next time you'll think about laxatives, think about this: how will you incorporate diapers into your coord.

>>6375305
>>6375276
>>6375262

This is why I can never be a lolita. I'm rail-thin and have big, heavy ugly tits. Shit like this makes me want to kill myself sometimes because I can't afford surgery and don't have insurance.

>>6375326
I'm glad that you can see that you were kind of being a dick. I do appreciate guys who are willing to come forth and say they were in the wrong since it's quite refreshing.

Also, it's not runway models that lolitas look up to but most likely, the models that magazines use. Many of the models are around the same measurements as an average Japanese girl so there isn't anything that is necessarily "out of the norm" like high fashion models are. Outside of girls who have bigger bone structure or health issues, eating healthy and some exercise should do the trick. Of course, there are some girls who are lucky and can eat all the fried food that they want and still have slim bodies and perfect skin.

>>6375317
I'm >>6374963
I was lurking here to see all the anorexic dramu. It's fucking hilarious.

I'll tell you the whole story since I think it's funny as hell.

megamikawaii is a name that I made to use to scam people. I actually suceeded in PM scamming with the name because the people were too stupid to notice.

jelly_candies was in our comm as sylphid_dreamer for one meetup and after she posted about how the meet sucked since it did(it was ice skating in the middle of winter in lolita outside lololol) she got on rocketlaunching's bad side, because she's in the Boston comm. I think she also had some dramu with rocketlaunching at a con but not sure, not lolita related.

Anyways she was basically a total noob at the time and so I decided to 'help her out' I told her to wear shitty deco-loli coords that look like trash and she took photos in them and posted them on the Lolita Fashion Forum and the mod there was having a shit fit about it not being lolita. I also wrote a bunch of secrets about her. So she made a new lj username.

She was absent from the comm for a few months but me and her were still friends. She wasn't ita anymore but she was still gullible as shit. The wig idea was hers and mine but the wigs I got for her were shit and since she doesn't wear wigs she thought they were okay. We split the profit for them all, but then it failed since they sucked.

>>6375342
Thank you, but honestly, I was still acting like a douche. I don't think I deserve kudos for trying to redeem myself when it's simply what should be done.

The NYC comm is so shit I can't take it anymore. One half of the comm is made up of well dressed elitist bitches who treat everyone like shit and the other half is made up of terribly dressed aspie itas.

>>6375353
cont.
After this she got a super rich boyfriend(seriously he lived in a $10 million house) who was younger than her btw like 3 years. And she started getting a bunch of brand shit and she decided to show up to meets again. I even got some free stuff from taobao from her.

Anyway I kept asking her to have her boyfriend buy me stuff and she never did, so when I went over to visit her I made a scam post and used really obvious stolen photos on angelic poodle. I even went as far as to plant a comment from jelly_candies in the thread about how she 'bought something from me' even though she wasn't buying second hand stuff hardly at the time. Then once she found out her email was hacked she couldn't log into jelly_candies anymore and had to use sylphiddreamer to try to explain to people and returned their money.

To be honest this isn't even the worst that I have done. I used to work in a shitty restaurant and I'd steal credit cards from behind the bar when no one was looking, then I'd go to the store in a wig and buy iPods to sell for burando.

>>6375350
Nah, it's better than saying, "I'M RIGHT. SHUT UP BITCH, WE ALL KNOW GIRLS ARE STUPID AND IRRATIONAL."
Even though owning up to something is done to save face, it is still a cool thing to do. Hell, everyone owns up to shit because they want to be the better person, whether they think that or not.

>>6375348
Oh, sorry, I didn't mean to imply the high-fashion models were the goal. Just drawing a comparison.
>Of course, there are some girls who are lucky and can eat all the fried food that they want and still have slim bodies and perfect skin.
I'll give you the skin thing, because that is indeed a medical marvel, but they stay slim because whilst it looks like they're eating a lot, they are still burning it in one way or another. Not like it's some amazing trick (unlike the skin. Lucky bitches).

>>6375353
So are you farewell_dream and is jellycandies the ugly, greasy looking girl?

>>6375358
You bought ipods from a wig store?

I just want to be thin, thin legs, ribs that stick out slightly, cheekbones, flat chested, and pale

I dont want curves, I don't care what males think.

>>6375363
Which ugly greasy looking girl? She's the fail deco-loli I don't have a picture of her now because she's long since deleted me.

>>6375358
Not only are you an entitled brat, but you're also a shit con man. Come on, if you're going to commit, go for gold, not peanuts.

Look up jelly-candies on daily-lolita. She's only got one coord posted but you can still see what she looks like.

>>6375368
No dumbass, I'd wear a fucking wig so the tapes would show a different girl incase someone found out. Drunk people don't find out shit though so it's fine.

>>6375363
Wait isn't farewell_dream that girl who tried to scam the gyaru comm with "handmade" taobao nails for $40?

>>6375372
Oh right. Read that backwards.

>>6375359
Righto. I'm just not a fan of the notion that despite poor behaviour, one can be redeemed by a (possibly fraudulent) minor gesture.
Though I was raised with a more, "spare the rod = spoil the child" kind of metric where one should not be rewarded for doing what is right, because it is what is right, so it probably differs.

Also, just because I haven't been contributing to the thread correctly, I shall add a secret.

I think white girls look far better in lolita, and most cosplay than asians. When done correctly, of course.

>>6375353
>>6375358

I don't even have words for how much of an entitled cunt you are.

>>6375360
Finally someone who understands that perfect skin isn't as easy as washing your face! I'm so sick of people on cgl who say, "GO WASH YOUR FACE FATTY." I wash my face twice a day and have used many different face washes and moisturizers, thank you very much.

As for slim bodies, trust me, I have a friend who is skinnyfat and she can eat more food than me and she's half my size. She is notoriously known by everyone as the girl who lives on McDonald's and the most exercise that she does is getting into her car and getting out of it. Even her job requires her to sit in her cubicle, for the most part. I had another friend who had to take medication so that she wouldn't get any slimmer.

My boyfriend used to buy me all sorts of brand and I miss it. He never does things like that for me anymore.

>>6375063
So you're either farewell_dream or megamikawaii/jelly_candies. The two of you both are dramallamas. I can't remember if it was f_d who hacked megamikawaii or the other way around. Anyway the comm hates both of you but only humors Lara because everyone forgot she tried to scam someone.

>>6375378
This right? http://getoffegl.livejournal.com/528122.html It looks like jelly_candies was trying to defend her.
Oh shit though, this other GTFO is all kinds of fucked. http://getoffegl.livejournal.com/462790.html

Is there anyway to use laxatives to get some weight loss without abusing them/suffering long-term side effects? What would an interval be?

>>6375391
Has his financial situation changed? Because that'd do it. Especially if he's not buying you gifts at all.

>>6375345
What if quoted anon IS into diapers, though?

>>6375317
Megamikawaii IS jelly candies

>>6375367
We all know that feel.

Unholy hell, you bitches are really, really fucked in the head. I don't know if this is considered the average for this board or not, but the lot of you would make fine examples to be studied by psychiatrists.

>>6375347
Ooh, don't even. I'm really jealous of you. I feel like one day you'll realize how nice your body is.
Then again, I'm not a Lolita. I just enjoy /cgl/ mostly for the costuming aspect.

Let's trade?

>>6375394
It doesn't work at all. As previously said, it's just weight on the scale and doesn't make you look thinner and hardly makes you lose inches on measurements (and when it does, it's very little).

Leave them to people who can't poop.

>>6375395
He makes more money now than he used to. Either he isn't as into me wearing Lolita as as he used to be, or he isn't as into giving me gifts as he used to be. I know I shouldn't care and I can afford to buy my own stuff but it's the thought he used to put into our relationship by doing things like surprising me with something nice that seems lost.

>>6375411
>implying anything posted here is far from normal

You must be a shitty friend if you've never heard anything like what's been posted here.

>>6375358
>Anyway I kept asking her to have her boyfriend buy me stuff and she never did

...Are you seriously five years old? Why do you feel so entitled?

>>6375396
There was also one where she went to a jrock show and posted in egl about how pissed she was people hated mana

>>6375414
Does he still treat you well? Or are you basically an ornament (best word i can think of at the moment)?
Because if he still lavishes you in other ways, it might just be that either he's over the loli, or he might think you are.
Either way, it's a dangerous subject, and probably not one you'd broach in any kind of obvious manner, lest he think you're just a gold-digging bitch.

>>6375413

Adding on to this, laxatives don't even work for long term weight loss. You lose water weight, but no fat is burned obviously. You may "look" a little bit thinner, but you haven't actually lost any body fat. Laxatives are not worth it.

>>6375420
He's fucking rich! She was getting all of the new AP dresses and didn't buy me anything even though I was trying to be her friend. It's really hilarious that she came here asking about the AP gift card because I know she actually had it and she asked me about selling it on the comm, and I told her to come here. I'm also the one who told her she had a secret made even though I made it.

>>6375413
I diet and exercise too, I know they arent a miracle. I just wanted to regularly get rid of that sort of weight but I don't want to use them TOO much.

>>6375394

Using laxatives will make you bloat, if anything. Since you'll shit out a lot of liquids, your body will hold unto whatever you have left in you and will hoard whatever you drink.

>>6375428
Wait, whut? Lemme get this straight...
>Girl, not you, starts dating guy
>Guy is rich
>Guy dotes on his girlfriend (again, not you)
>You have nothing to do with this relationship at all
>Nor do you have any connection to it, other than associating with the girl
>But you still expect to benefit from it
I hate to sound all /pol/, but you're an Obama voter, aren't you?

>>6375389
No one cares that I tried to scam anyone anyways because it was small shit. That's why I decided to try again but then to pin it on someone else, since I already got found out.

>>6375424
I'm never going to talk to him about it because I think it's rude to ask people for gifts. It defeats the purpose of gifts altogether because it's the givers thought that matters most. He still treats me well but not as well as he used to. You know when guys get into that comfort zone where they don't feel like they have to do anything special to keep you around because they already have you on their arm? As far as I can tell it seems like that.

>>6375439
Fuck no. I just don't think that bitch deserved to get all that sweet lolita shit when she could have been wearing some better shit. I fucking hate sweet lolita. Candy clowns need to get the fuck out of my fashion. I hate tea parties, head eating bows and colorful wigs.

>>6375442
So was it you who leaked the mod caps?

>>6375447
Ahh... Yea, been there plenty. Usually results in a break-up. So my advice is... To not do that.

>>6375386
>I'm so sick of people on cgl who say, "GO WASH YOUR FACE FATTY." I wash my face twice a day and have used many different face washes and moisturizers, thank you very much.

Omg, this is me. Except I actually got told by some white trash bitch in a store that was trying to start a fight with my mom for not vacating an aisle so she could get where my mom was. She had skin that looked like she'd never had so much as a pimple or a red spot in her life, and she said "You need to go tell your daughter to wash her face!"

I'm 20, I've had cystic acne since I was 13 that has resisted multiple courses of antibiotics, several hormone level checks, every OTC and medicated face wash, moisturizer, and exfoliator known to man and 3 top-level expensive dermatologists. Most of my right cheek is just red, textured acne scarring with even some keloid scars and makeup does fuck all for it. (Nobody would ever give me accutane either and now it's calming down more to where I just have cysts and redness with the scars instead of acne all over.)

Shit part of it all was that I finally got the confidence to go out in public again for things other than food and toiletries, then that bitch. Not anymore. Everyone thinks I'm some disgusting unhygienic slob and I'm not. sage because I made myself cry.

>>6375448
See now, that seems to be a separate issue. Her style was not something you brought up earlier.
Just that you were pissed that she didn't insist her boyfriend buy you things.
Also, classic does tend to be nicer, but sweet has a place too.

>>6375447

Give him or surprise him with something nice, like a classy home cooked meal and a thermos mug with a pack of his favourite coffee. That'll not only make him super happy, it might also refuel his desire to give you something as well. It's a win-win (and affordable)!

>>6375448
So wait, you got pissed off that she was a sweet lolita and cause she was getting things from her boyfriend?

What the fuck is wrong with you girl?

>>6375456
That's what i don't understand. I mean, i'm not a dermatologist, but i went through high-school. It's kinda obvious who has skin issues because of medical reasons, and who is just a grub.
Though i suppose in your case, she would have just been a bitch either way?

>>6375456

God, what a bitch! I'm really proud you found enough confidence to go out Anon. My cousin had really aggressive acne until her adult life, but in three short years it cleared up (it started when she was 22).

She still has some scarring, but it's very discrete. Her chin used to be really bad, like this flaky red mess and now you can't even tell how bad it was.

>>6375470
Judging from this >>6375396
a whole fucking lot.

>>6375421
Didn't someone have caps from her fb with a pic of hers from LJ arguing with herself in that thread?

>>6375461
Thanks for the advice! I got him something recently and he was a little appreciative but it was just a store bought item and probably didn't seem all that special, so I'll go with something more loving next time.

The reason why I liked that he would buy me brand wasn't because of the money. It was because he was actively going online, looking for things he knew I'd really love and surprising me with them on our anniversaries and stuff. Then he'd beam with bride when I wore them at Lolita meets and felt really great about how happy the gift made me. It's the thoughtfulness of going directly to someone's favorite interests to try and make them feel as loved as possible that I miss.

>>6375467

Yeah she was a bitch, that was obvious. She called my mom a rude bitch because she wouldn't move and let her take her spot in a narrow aisle, I mean really.

>>6375485
> bride
oops, meant pride.

>>6375488
Bummer, would have been lovely for you the other way.

>>6375480
She had them on her FB. I have the link but it won't let me post it -_-

Also this:

http://getoffegl.livejournal.com/462790.html

>>6375219
Oddly, if you don't want breasts what this dude is saying is pretty accurate. You can't get the fat off your breasts with an ED. That shit is too hard to just lose with an ED. :/ Diet+exercise is what does the most.

>>6375485

Same person who gave you the advice before; try hiding his present and play that 'cold/hot' game where he has to look for it. That will make it more fun and a bit silly.

>>6375491
I remember that she sold that milanoo dress too and said it was handmade but someone posted a secret about it being from milanoo.

>>6375491
This is really crazy. She seems fucked in the head alright, but jelly sounds kind of like a bitch tbh. Is jelly in your comm anymore or did she ditch?

>>6375495
Cute idea I'll do that too.

>>6375502
They both left. Lara posts every now and again but doesn't come to meets much anymore because she hates lolita and thinks high fashion is way better

>>6375506

'High fashion'

>>6375507
Haha yeah, considering her facebook posts the clothes she's wearing look like k-pop clothes from yesstyle.

>>6375508
*in
Not sure where that word went.

>>6375491
Hi :)
How are you doing? Trolling lolitas is easy as fuck haha!

>>6375514
I don't think you're trolling.

>>6375472

I'm mostly worried about the scarring. I have those weird hole-scars that look like someone took a big needle and poked a bunch of holes in my cheeks. That, and I still sometimes get pimples along the line of my upper lip that always rupture painfully and looks like a damn cold sore. I attack that shit with neosporin religiously while praying it won't scar. If it does people might think I'm a slob and have lip herpes and fuck, I'll never get a boyfriend then.

>>6375521
What do you mean? :3 No one is going to care about this since they think it's Adrienne since she's a dramafuck anyways. I'm sure whoever is here thinks I am her anyway.

asdf my bf just bought me a Kindle Fire but I don't have the money to buy something as expensive as that to give back. Feels bad.

>>6375506
Who are you anyway??

>>6375540

I know that feel, sis. Give him sex, he'll be happy. Especially you-on-top sex.

>>6375535
They will care. Trust me. I outed yo and told the mods.

.>>6375547

Don't worry about it. ;)

>>6375551
Oh well~ Japs have shit fashion taste.

>>6375556
So you're racist too? Cool

>>6375561
I'm half Chinese I can't be racist. Check your privilege lololol.

>>6375565
Oh my goodness just go away.
You aren't ~edgy~

>>6375565
But the other half is white so YES U CAN LOLOLOLOLOL

>>6375572
Oh snap I got burned. You know I think I'll go to the next meetup wearing my punk outfit again, seemed to piss everyone off the last time.

>>6375570
I got that ULZZANG shit giiiiirl
Haters make me famous~

>>6375580
Aren't you like 15? Underage and B&

Go fuck another 30 year old plz

>>6375585
>fuck another 30 year old
Spill anon.

>>6375585
Gawsh! You sure got me. He wasn't 30 btw and atleast I look mature for my age, not like a candy shit age player.

>>6375599
Okay he was like, 29. Same difference.

Also, you absolutely look like you're 12, get the fuck out.

>>6375589
She has a habit of going to cons and hooking up with guys who are entirely too old for her and lying about her age.

>>6375599
SO DID YOU LEAK THE MOD CAPS? Since you're all about honesty here

>get it in my head to put on makeup to see what I would look like
>go out and buy $30 of whatever I can find at the walmart across town
>decide to go all the way and buy a bunch of women's clothing
>ignoring stares to the best of my ability as I buy the stuff
>get back to apartment
>hands shaking
>figure out how to work the bra straps
>AA-cup bra barely fits
>try to put on panties
>flaccid dick too big to comfortably fit into panties, stuff it up the side
>put on modest knee-length skirt
>pull tank top on
>it doesn't feel erotic, just right
>feel little tears for some reason
>clumsily apply makeup after tears stop
>go through a lot of toilet paper trying to put on mascara
>finally done
>go to floor-to-cieling mirror in bedroom
>eyes immediately jump to my broad shoulders, defined adam's apple, jutting chin, and my thick, manly jaw
>start crying and fall to the floor as I realize I will never be a pretty girl or even a passable trap, just an ugly drag queen
>pull off clothes after shuddering sobs lessen
>mascara's run all down my cheeks and left spots on the carpet
>lie in the shower and rub at my face until the rest comes off
>throw clothes, makeup, and recipts in the trash
>old woman next door knocks on my door and asks if I'm OK because of how loudly and long I've been crying
>tell her I'm fine between sobs, just having a bad day

I'm fine
I'm fine

>>6375613
Yeah I did lol.
>>6375608
Oh wow, call my grandma what a detective.

>>6375140
I don't know about America, but in Australia, we have this stuff called Metermine. It's prescription only, but it's amazing. a few years ago I got really close to my goal weight on self dicipline and a 1000 cal per day and rigorous workouts every day, then I got into a relationship about a year ago that really messed me up in the end and i put on 20kgs. I recently found a doctor that would listen to my problems with weight and complete loss of discipline, and put me on the Metermine(also known as Duromine). I'm half way through the second week of taking it, no real exercise at all and I've lost about 6kgs already. It accelerates your heart rate, makes you feel really awake and takes away pretty much all appetite. I've only eaten out of wanting to eat(as in not because i feel like i might pass out if don't) maybe 4, 5 times tops in the past week and a half. It's amazing. Relatively expensive, but soooo worth it.

>>6375620
Oh anon don't worry, make-up is damn tricky! You just need some practice and luckily there are now so many guides online for applying make-up as a man, applying make-up to look more feminine. You just need some practice and if it feels right for you don't stop just because of a shaky first attempt. I really wish you luck and know you can be beautiful.

>>6375620
It's okay anon. Some of the most beautiful lolita's I've seen are men. Like the other anon said, makeup is tricky.

As a girl with broad shoulders, it's better to wear blouses and jackets that make your shoulders look a little bigger/ a definite shape. It's more flattering than attempting to hide them. I look so shitty in baby tees and anything for small slumping shoulders.
For the jaw/chin stuff, makeup. Look at how drag queens do their makeup, or even girls with chins. For the adams apple, wear high collared blouses to hide it or collar necklaces. Look at what Mana does too in terms of feminine posing to hide it.


It's okay anon. I'd be your lolita friend if we lived near each other.

also everyone fucks up with mascara and applying makeup at some point, even when you're experienced.

>>6375620
here's another mana.

there's a rule with wigs-- if you're a bigger person, wear a bigger wig. I have a ginormous head so I wear huge wigs with lots of curls, because my head can luckily hold all of it without getting lost in it. Big hats, big hair, big head accessories (not head bows), all are your friend.

Originally I thought my broad shoulders and head would look ridiculous in lolita, and I cried about it a lot, until I realized that I could play up those supposed flaws to make my oufits and style a little more unique than "generic small framed lolita"

>>6375643
>>6375679
>>6375696

So... What was this?

I haven't worn lolita in a while thanks to the fact my lower legs have suddenly begun acting up, skin-wise, with scabs everywhere.

It's really beginning to upset me, now, since it's finally gotten comfortably cold enough to wear.

I've made a fuckton of porn in some popular AP prints. Also sold a couple of these on egl. Only "worn once" ladies... hahhaa.

>>6375624
Idc what everyone else says, I applaud you for what you did. I hate spoiled bitches like your ex-friend, it's just tacky.

Yeah I would scam her too.

>>6375796
try thick tights?

>>6375861
Oh, my.

...How would someone find this porn, by the way?

>>6375866
Credit card fraud, framing someone for scamming, begging people for brand that have no relation to you, and leaking private, privileged information. Yeah, really respectable.

>>6375900
I'm betting that she's just responding to herself again since no one else is biting.

>>6375915
She probably is.

>>6375866
1/10, anon. Try harder next time.

One of my most ~horrible~ loli secrets... Is probably ever since I started lolita, every time I go out with friends, or do something 'bad' (e.g. make an inappropriate joke) I immediately think, "But that's not how I should act... I want to match my appearance, I want to cute." Or I'll start eating, then two seconds later throw it out because, "But then I won't be able to fit into that dress..."

Also, while I'm at it, may as well ask. Any links to the aforementioned diet pills? Links to REAL products, not fakes?

farewell_dream/Lara, you may be pretty on the outside but goddamn, you are a fucking bitch. Not that you care because you revel in it. You're like a better looking version of Charms.

But since you're pretty, I'm sure that karma isn't going to bite you in the ass. We all know that bad people can end up living the good life.

what was the mod stuff that got leaked? i don't remember the drama so much and only remember being mad at angelofdeath for deleting the getoffegl entry. refresh my memory!

I am getting way frustrated. Ita is invading my comm and I have no one to talk to about this because everyone insists on being nice with each other.

>>6375861
>>6375872
Seconding this question. I'm interested

I have just been sitting here, reading this thread and crying my eyes out because all of this talk about EDs and that desperate need to be thin... I didn't think I'd ever find a place where I could talk honestly about any of that.

My secret is also related to eating disorders.

I used to have severely disordered eating. I am not sure if you can call me anorexic, but the only thing I ate almost every day was a few slices of apple, a bag of chips, and maybe two or three bites (literally) of dinner. I didn't do any exercise outside of my PE class and lost tons of weight by doing this. Nobody noticed anything peculiar since my friends also ate snack foods for lunch and my parents thought that I was being even more picky about food. The only time my parents noticed anything was when I wouldn't eat my favorite dishes, but I would tell them that I wasn't hungry. After awhile, I really wasn't hungry anymore and I started to see food as something disgusting. Because water and orange soda were the two things that didn't repulse me, that's what I'd drink for 5 days straight and maybe eat a potato chip every now and then. I realized that what I was doing was wrong, since I did know about eating disorders, and I stopped myself.
The worst part? After I got into Lolita, I wish I can go back to being the way I was. I've tried but I can't get myself to get away from food. Instead of undereating, I now overeat and I can't get myself to stop. I hate being chubby and the sight of myself disgusts me. I know that I'm not being delusional about being chubby because cgl has called me "fat" several times. I wish that I hated myself enough so that I could actually get an eating disorder. I'm very jealous of people who are anorexic because they have enough control to not eat and to exercise.

>>6376454

I found a really good support group when looking long enough. We're totally anonymous within our bubble and can really openly talk about a lot of things that are painful. Keep looking, you'll find a place of complete trust.

>>6376514
Thankyou. I really hope so, Anon. I don't know how much longer I can do this alone.

>>6376401
I know dat feel anon. I showed this thread to one of my friends and she said we were all jumping to conclusions about her, she doesnt believe she's being manipulated -_-Take comfort in the fact she hates herself for not being 100% Asian and is a racist bitch.

>>6376410
She leaked a post from the mod comm where WF basically bitched about elerronyar and wanting to smash her face in. I find it hard to believe there isn't one anon around who didn't save it :(

Until Lara just admitted that she leaked the mod caps, why did others suspect her of doing it?

>>6376492
Why can't you just exercise? Disordered eating might work as a short fix, but if you start an exercise routine that you can keep up for life you'll end up healthier overall.

>>6376768
I had a ton of evidence when it went down on the original thread here but it never got archived and I can't remember why. We know that she liked to cause drama, though. I made a secret about the mods begging them not to make her mod but they ignored me and look what happened. I feel bad for all the other people who got accepted to be mod but Lara ruined it for them.

If you know her IRL call her LAH-RUH instead of LAW-UH (kinda like Laura) like how it's suppose to be pronounced, really pisses her off

>>6376401
She's pretty. Anymore pictures?

I love it when trolls and bitches are pretty people.

>>6376856
sorry, but the way you worded that is weird... are we supposed to say it like laura or no?

>>6376883
http://daily_lolita.livejournal.com/?poster=farewell_dream

>>6376895
Supposed to be pronounced like Laura (law-ruh) but it pisses her off when people say it like LAH-RUH. Like how Lara Flynn Boyle pronounces hers.

>>6376898
lol@how she appears all sweet and nice there.

Normal human male reporting in.
Reading this thread is.... wow. . I don't even have words for it.

If any of this actually exists anywhere in the spectrum of the female psyche, I am just so glad >tfw no gf.

>pic related, mfw

>>6376923
Bitches Be Crazy bro

>>6376923
If you're on 4chan, let alone cgl, you aren't a normal male.

>>6376946
I was directed here from /fit/.
And after reading this thread... yeah I feel pretty normal.

>>6376950
and if /fit/ persuaded you to come to cgl, you're just dumb.

>>6376966
I didn't say I was smart, per se.
Just normal.

>>6375522
Depends, do the scars look cool? Because some dudes like that.

>>6375102
If only I was a man...

>>6376492
cgl called me fat a few times too. I only weigh 116 lbs, and I'm 5'3". The bitches here will call anyone fat when they're in a raging low self esteem hormonal mood swing. I wouldn't take it to heart at all. 75% of the time fat is cglish for "I don't get as much attention as you or have as many expensive things as you and I hate you so you're fat and ugly"

>>6377079
>implying you're not a teensy bit chubby

I think I'v grown to hate my comm. The recent influx of weebs doesn't help, theres still a few nice girls but their all so immature...and broke,ugh

>>6376101
http:// metermineonline .com/ I can't say these guys are legit, but all the info checks out. I get mine from my chemist via prescription. I also tried the japanese 2day diet thingy with good results, lucky I found a legit website for it http://www.. 2daydietlingzhislimming .org/ (remove spaces)

>>6376492
From one ED to another, I'm actually super glad you're not living off of water and orange soda like you were before. High sugar and nothing else can severely fuck you up in the long run. Short term it seems okay because it prevents you from passing out, but your body latches onto it. You more than likely skirted some pretty bad diabetes and health problems that would make it REALLY hard for you to lose weight in the future. The diabetes itself would be its own disgusting problem and comes with quite a few nasty things on the side.

Secret:

I bought a dress only because I knew someone else was after it.

I also don't have a savings account or really anything in the bank. I use up all the money I get within a few weeks of getting it. I'm super worried about this and I feel like in the future I might let down my parents and my siblings by being unable to support myself.

I spend a ton on clothes but rarely wear them. I'm too scared of being looked at strangely on the street or scaring away guy who might have otherwise loved me.

The only two people I've ever 'dated' and exchanged "I love yous" with have both taken it back months down the line. Its left me fucked up in the head - trust issues, secret insecurities. I feel like I will never truly get someone to love me.

sad

my confession: i'm trying to decide between my antidepressants and the 2 day diet pills. There's a chemical in them that reacts with my antidepressant to cause serotonin syndrome (potentially fatal).

All my body does is infuriate me. When I feel my highs touch, it makes me want to take a butcher knife to them. When I see skin over my jeans, I want to rip it off. I just want to be thin. Effortlessly thin. Slender legs that look great in everything. Not the disgusting fat thighs I have now. I want my hip bones to poke out. I want my ribs to show. I want my clavicle to be prominent. I want my cheeks sunken in. Most of all, I want to be happy, and all of those things I really truly believe will make me happy. If I can just attain that body, I won't have this constant self loathing that I carry with me like a 1000lb backpack.

The antidepressants have fixed my anxiety disorder, but I think being anxious and thin is better than calm and not thin... right?

>>6377593
Why don't you take up marathon running? It should help with both anxiety and wanting to be thin.

>>6377596
i have mcardle's disease which is a muscle disease and even with treatment it seriously restricts the amount of exercise i can do. it's infuriating and depressing and everything in between all at once when you want to do something active and your body just won't fucking do it.

i feel hopeless.

I'm depressed and it keeps getting worse.

>>6377593
>being anxious and thin is better than calm and not thin... right?
No, calm is much better. I have anxiety as well.
...Are you sure you need to go on a diet? I mean, as long as you're in the healthy weight range for your height, you're fine.

>>6377593
Anxiety ups your heart rate, makes it harder to breathe, putting extra stress and requiring more effoert to just function normally and makes you fidgety, well it does with me, so it's actually beneficial to weightloss. Just make sure you have some back up plan for if and when it gets too much, like something to do that relaxes you or takes your mind off it, some one you can talk to that makes you feel better, plush toys, etc. That's how I manage without my antidepressants. Also if you're too anxious, you won't eat as much.

Also, wtf captcha? "call EDCall"

>>6377631
They probably have body dysmorphic disorder and aren't anywhere near as fat as they believe/see themselves being.

My parents thought I recovered from my bulimia but I haven't. I throw up anything I eat daily that's above 200 cal or so. I've been like this for almost 10 months now. Before I just thought I wanted to be skinny and stuff but now it's not even about that anymore. It's just a 'normal' part of my daily life. When I throw everything up, I pretend that nothing ever happened. I achieved my 'old' goal already but I still keep doin the same shit

>>6377593
and
>>6377638
and
>>6377662

Please get help.

>itt: upper and middle class white girls complain about their blown out of proportion "eating disorders" that are really just them being lazy fucks who eat 700 cals a day for a week, become annoyed they just lose water weight, and then go to mcdonalds

>>6377665
I'm 6377638, and I am getting help, I'm the one who's been posting about Metermine, my doctor apparently thinks it's okay so there's that.

>>6377674
yes

>>6377665
The thing about people with eating disorders is that as much as it hurts them they don't want help because it will make them fat.

At least that's how I am. Not one of the quoted anons, though.

I run a lolita blog that contains no personal content. I made 1.1k followers in 2-3months. People send me messages thanking me saying they love my blog. Nobody except my bf knows. My secret is that I feel proud of this.

>>6377809
I'm confused, what do you mean? You post content you steal from other people, or you just always reblog?

>>6377688
...But you could die...

>>6377812
Sorry, not reblog. I read tumblr, not blog. So you just post content from where then?

>>6377458
Thank you so much! I'm going to have to buy one of those pre-paid bank cards to buy it, but I'm definitely going to asap! I want to lose 10 pounds by International Lolita Day, for a REALLY big and fancy meet-up. I think I'm going to try the 2 Day Diet, since they seem to have the best results. I've also had an EKG, so I know I don't have any heart problems that could interfere/get worse with the pills. (Obvs I didn't get the EKG for that reason, I had to have a breast reduction for back problems)
I'm so excited, I just want this flab GONE.

>>6377584
How does one take back an "i love you"?
That'd be like saying a few days later, "ya know, i didn't actually feel like those chips."

And maybe you'd have better chances of finding a guy if you weren't afraid of wearing the clothes you want. Be yourself and all that other bullshit. That way you're bound to find someone more analogous to you, and especially since if being yourself prevented them from loving you, they didn't actually love you.
I don't think i've ever said anything quite so girly before, whilst checking out BTSSB, no less. Need to go bench press stuff or kill something to get my testicles back.

>>6377963
You're very welcome, I'm glad I could help ^_^ I bet you're gonna look beautiful for ILD!! I found with the Metermine for the first couple days my resting heart rate rose to about102per min, but by the third or 4th day I was fine and sleeping normally again, but it's always best to talk to your doctor first especially if you have a pre-existing condition. But like I said in earlier posts about Metermine, I lost like, 4 kilo's in the first week, half way throught week two and 2 more kgs gone, no excercise, and it wasn't water weight either coz I wasn't going to the bathroom more, in fact it made me drink more water, which is really good for your skin. But good luck, I hope to hear how it, which ever one you do, works out for you :D

>>6377990
Thank you! I already have a coord planned out and everything! The only thing I'm confused about for the Metermine site, is how to order, when I click one link it sends me to a shady looking site... Do I have to get it through prescription? Cause that would kinda suck (´；д；`) I don't think they'd give it to me, because I'm too young... Also, you've ordered from this 2 Day Diet site? And they're really legit?

I am a lolita living with hyperhydrosis. Not. Fun. I have to be careful about what dresses I buy, because sure, I'll fit them, I'll look good in them, but if the dress runs, I can't wear it. And I hate how people are like, "Well, use antiperspirants/deodorants/take more showers/etc." Because. It. Doesn't. Work. I take showers every day, sometimes twice a day. I've tried 4 different antiperspirants, and deodorants don't do shit. I always have to wear coats or boleros that don't show sweat because I don't want people thinking I'm gross. I got one wig that's so long and full, it covers my sweat stains, but I still have to be very careful not to lift my arms too high. I've been living with it for maybe a year and a half now and I WANT IT GONE. I'm going to my dermatologist soon to see if I qualify for having my insurance cover the botox injections into my armpits to make it STOP.

I fucking put on so much weight 5'4" and about 135 lbs now.
I miss my bulimia/anorexia it was so much more pleasant than this compulsive over eating I've got going on now. It's just as painful as the bulimia as I'll eat until I physically feel like my stomach is going to rip open.
I feel like a dirty lolita or not fit to wear the dresses I have.

>>6378114
..maybe you should seek help? Seriously.

>>6377458
If you have heart problems, can the 2daydiet theoretically kill you?
Just a natural tachycardia.

>>6378114
shit man, are you me? That height, weight, and situation are all identical to mine.

The sad part is that I think my purging is starting to come back.

>>6378126
I'm the same person who inquired earlier about where to buy.
That's nice, but I had my heart checked out about a year ago, don't know about other people, but my ticker's doing great. Not gonna die just because my heart rate increases a little. Other than being a little overweight, I have no health problems at all.

If someone else takes it, knowing they have a heart problem and knowing it could be fatal, well, they are probably too messed up in the head to even care.

>>6378109

Have you tried talc? Not a a long time solution, but as a heavy sweater, I used some and it helped like no antiperspirant have ever before. Best of luck with your doctor.

>>6375199
>I'm too fat to have an eating disorder though
same here... i hate being bulimic... i spent my afternoons binging and purging but everyone assumes i'm fine because i'm not stick thin... when i tried opening up to my boyfriend he just looked me up and down and said, "but you look just NORMAL." this was three years ago, my ed worsened a lot (i'm binging and purging up to eight times a day, especially on weekends when i don't have uni/work) and i've never spoken about it to any other person irl again. they wouldn't believe me anyway. i will just die in front of a toilet someday, i don't even care anymore.

Having an eating disorder doesn't mean you have to be bulimic or anorexic, it's an umbrella term for people who have an unhealthy relationship with food. If you are severely overweight due to obsessive binging, it's an eating disorder, even if the person who has it is fat.

So anyone here who purges/ fasts/ takes laxatives / over take diet pills has an eating disorder, no matter their size.

>>6378209
no shit sherlock, how about you tell that society. as long as you're not looking like an auschwitz survivor nobody cares.

>>6378199
No, but I'll try while waiting for an appointment. I'm in an area that was hit by Sandy and their power is still out. By how much would you say it helped? Stopped the sweating by 50%? Almost completely?

everyone around me thinks I am a lovely girl. I wear beautiful dresses, say only nice things, behave politely and have a pretty face. really, I am rotten to my core. I conned a sugar daddy out of $1000 because he was sweet enough to take his time instead of taking my virginity. I sold my body three times to a different man--a fifty-year-old millionaire living in a gated plantation--in order to pay for getting caught shoplifting without having to tell my parents about it and ask for money from them. At the time, I didn't have a job and my living expenses were pretty much being paid by my boyfriend, who was a drug dealer. The shoplifting charge occurred because an ex-boyfriend needed oral anesthesia for a toothache and I didn't have a way to pay for it. The ex-boyfriend became my boyfriend because I wanted to move into his community but needed a way in, after which I gradually introduced the idea of his moving out and then broke up with him once he did. The entire point of being in the community was to be closer to someone who doesn't even want to see me and now I have to drive by his house every day. I get these attacks of hysterics, all the time, just fits and fits of crying whenever I think with any seriousness about these things. I have been considering committing suicide so that nobody ever finds out what a fraud I am.

i'm fucking scared of people finding out the things that i post on cgl.

>>6378001
yes that's the exact site I bought my 2day diet stuff from. I get my Metermine from the chemist with prescription, I mostly posted that site because the info is very spot on. I haven't bought it from that site, but it's not the exact same product, it's just one of the main important active ingredients in Metermine. It's cheaper than Metermine too so I'll be giving it a go when I have the extra cash. As for getting the script, you may have to shop around for a doctor that is more forgiving with the giving of scripts, and I think you have to be classified as heavily over weight at least(don't quote me on this, this is a guess) so if you're only a little overweight, stick little fishing weights in your bra/pockets to give yourself a better chance at getting them. As far as I know(reading the booklet that came in the box) there doesn't appear to be a minimum age restriction.

I post on 4chan, that's enough.

I want my suicidal friend to die.

>>6378263

I wouldn't actually say you're rotten to the core for selling your body. People do shit like that because they don't care about themselves rather than out of malice for anyone else. I don't think dating a drug dealer makes you a bad person, either.

Also, sugar daddy's should know what they're getting into. They're basically bribing people for sex, of course they're going to get milked for it.

>>6378409
>implying the sugaring is the same as asking for money in exchange for sex

thats not how it works

My closest friend I met 6 years ago killed herself 2 years ago, and I can't help but think about her everyday. I've never had a relationship with another person that was so much fun and so close. I feel so cynical anymore, I really loved her as a friend. So many things remind me of her, I wish I could move on. There's a lot more to the story but I don't want to write out something that may go unread. I just wish I could have a friend like that again because I miss her a lot.

>>6378419

That's not how I was trying to imply. But educate me, o wise one.

>>6378420
Hun, I'm reading. My friend died last month and I can't stop thinking about her no matter how hard I try. So feel free to talk about her.

>>6378422
you were implying that ppl who sugar are selling their bodies for money, when its only like that for dumbasses who believe what the media tell them about sugar babies/daddies/mommies.

There should be a thinspo lolita tumblr or something! :(

>>6378424
I'm extremely sorry to hear that... My story might seem kind of lame compared to yours, since I only know this girl online. But she did mean a lot to me, and we spent every day talking for hours and just being silly together. I really trusted her with everything and it really broke my heart when I lost her. I'm really sorry for your loss, anon.

BtB secrets are up...

lolita originally made me happy, but a few months down the line i started to hate myself. i'm only 5'1", which a lot of people tell me is the perfect height for brand, and i'm asian, which people have told me is lucky because general opinion says asian girls are cuter in lolita, and i have thick long hair that practically looks like a wig so i never have to wear one.

but fuck i have a weird ribcage and torso. extremeky wide and short. i feel like i'm straining the tops of my JSKs, even with 34A boobs. i feel fat with a 26 in waist at this height... i have muscular legs thanks to years of tennis and swimming that will stay stocky no matter what. and my face is just horrid. i'm a beginner with makeup, but i'm getting better, but can't wear circle lenses or false lashes because my eyes are way too sensitive. i hate candid pictures of me so much. if i'm a tiny little asian girl, why can't i be pretty in lolita....?

>>6375456
I wish I could give you a hug..

>>6375456
i feel your pain. i basically went through the same thing, until it all just magically cleared up last summer for no fucking reason.

give accutane a try, though. it has some awful side affects--i got hemorroids and extreme depression, but it really helped me get my acne under control.

>>6377962
I said it first to someone and he didn't respond and said he wasn't ready for that. About a month or two later he made a romantic night and said it back. A few months after that he broke up with me saying he didn't actually feel that way he just thought it would make me happy to hear it.

Another guy said it over and over while he was supposedly dumping his 5yr g/f to be with me. I didn't say anything back but later the next morning I tried bringing it up to say it back and he kept going "I shouldn't have said that" and never said it again. I later found out that he didn't break up with her and he was 'confused' etc. I held on to the relationship hoping he was eventually pick me.


I will try to get more confident with my style. Thank you for replying.

>>6375456
Aww.. anon! I'm sorry. What a filthy cunt. I wish I could give you a hug.

>>6377134
I think you're from my comm, that or we're in the exact same situation. Either way, I feel you.

>>6375265
>>I'm attracted to large breasts
>>Therefor, all woman must aspire to have large breasts
Get out before I throw you out.

I wish I was a rider.... As in Kamen Rider. Fuck, my life would be more awesome if I was a Rider or in a Sentai team.

I wanna fight evil in spandex and mask helmets. This is my biggest secret since childhood and my dream I keep in my heart.

>>6380344
and I thought /jp/ are fucking weird.

>>6380106
Oh gosh darling... that's horrible! I'm sorry about that, and I know you can. I believe in you.

>>6378428
i wish there was a pro ana lolita comm.

I paint porn and draw respective animation for it for a game company similar to illusion. I'm also a massive shut-in, even though I had sex frequently and was in relationships before. Everyone usually freaks out and calls me amoral and disgusting as soon as they stumble on it, whether or not I tell them myself about it or they find out about it by themselves, considering that the same people have made me do some weird fetishes in bed it is a bit weird to get this reaction.

When I had first started, I've never would have thought that I would need to draw this in order to pay the bills, every day I envy successful academics and some of my other former colleagues from uni. I guess I wrote this for self-pity.

>>6380368

I know there's a pro-ana loli on Tumblr that I talk to sometimes, I can link you to her blog if you want it.

>>6380370
I do, too. Though my bf is okay with it.
Actually, he suggested we work together on it.
Thankfully he doesn't have any freaky weird fetishes...

>>6380368
I wish there were a white nationalist lolita community. I get tired of all the SJWism within lolita.

>>6378109
are you me? i feel you so much on this, anon :( my dermatologist said insurance wouldn't cover the botox injections and they're hella expensive, not to mention they only last a few months. i've tried every solution i've heard of and nothing fucking helps. i just want to be able to wear cute clothes comfortably like everyone else (not only lolita, but tank tops and and stuff like that)

>>6378109
Have you tried any kind of armpit shields/guards?
They're thick pieces of cloth designed to absorb sweat so it doesn't reach your clothes. You wear them on your armpits with an elastic strap, but some have an adhesive so you can put them in the armpit areas of your clothing, or sew them in.

I used to sweat really badly, mostly due to my anxiety. For a few months I used guards and they worked pretty well.

I don't like seeing black girls in lolita. I have never seen a black girl look good in a lolita dress. Maybe it's something about their facial features or skin colour that is making it look really wrong, but I feel like a black girl is wasting her time in lolita because she will never look as good as white girls or asian girls do in lolita dresses.

>>6380374
yes, please?

>>6380374
yes, please?

>>6380415

http://skeleton-teaparty.tumblr.com/

There you go. She's a nice girl, but she's pretty hardcore pro-ana.

>>6380422
thank you ♥
> but she's pretty hardcore pro-ana.
i often find the pro ana girls to be the nicest, to be honest. probably because they understand what i'm going through and don't judge me for not wanting to recover. i tried posting on regular eating disorder message boards to feel less alone but i always got chased of by the "omgosh you need therapy you need to recover you need to get better"-people. like, no. i've been eating disordered since 10 years, i missed the train to glorious recoveryland long ago and i don't care anymore. i just want to somehow live with my disorder, you know?

>>6380411
Well thank goodness black girls aren't wearing lolita just to please your sorry ass.

>>6380437

I'm not into the whole pro-recovery scene either.

But yeah, you'll know what I mean by hardcore if you talk to her. Good luck sorting things out.

>>6378263
Darling, you are not rotten at all. On the contrary, you seem very sweet. You just happen to make some bad choices or, like first anon who quoted you said, don't care much about yourself.

>>6380444
same to you, take care. ♥
(and this is unrelated and probably way too asskiss-y for /cgl/'s liking, but i want you to know that you're one of my favorite trips. we've actually spoken a couple of times before on here and i never felt judged, ridiculed or misunderstood by you, unlike my experience with other trips. (don't know if that's grammatically correct, english isn't my mother tongue. i hope you get what i mean, sorry for my errors.) you always seem to post legit, level-headed advice from what i've seen. i just want to thank you for that.)

a lot of people know im messed up or was messed up the reason im so messed up is 20% i was depressed and 80% i ended up getting raped which sent me out of my mind for a while im a lot better now but it still does bother me with things like physical contact and i dont think anyone would be shocked if they knew who i was in fact i think they suspect it or somehow know i also have an eating disorder i recently gained too much weight to be classified as anorexic but i still binge purge soon i will be back to anorexia levels

>>6380454

Aw, thank you. I'm glad we're on good terms and shit. I do try to give decent advice, good to hear it's useful! You're nice. ★

>mfw when I'm trying to stop my disordered eating and all I see is ana shit all over the first page
gotta go purge now

>>6380456
I'm pretty sure I know who you are but your secret's safe with me.

>>6380344
It sounds as if you are a /m/an (or wo/m/an). There is absolutely nothing wrong with the desire you are expressing.

If it's a dream you really want to hold true to, consider following in the footsteps of the /m/ god King Nekketsu and move to Japan or Asia so you can get a job as a suit actor for children's stage shows. Their costumes are pretty close to genuine and you'll do some kids good in the process by playing a hero they can look up to. It's what Riders and Sentai are all about, after all.

Good luck, sir-or-madam. (salute)

>>6380461
Don't blame us for you not knowing how to handle your triggers.

>>6380461
>that feel when I have been trying to go back to starving because my anorexia turned into BED which turned into bulimia and it's horrible and this thread gave me motivation and now I haven't purged in three days and my throat feels clear as fuck

Recovery and the usual ED community sucks. They are all "oh no, our eds are terrible and if you're pro-it you're a wanna-ana!" and after being "triggered" by it I started eating. But the feelings didn't go away so, really, it just made me worse.

I really, really wish there were some sort of ana lolita comm. We should make one, /cgl/. Or have threads on it from time to time.

>>6380327
I was hardly stating that. Just stating what it looks like. Read the rest of the post chain.
Also, at the risk of sounding like a dick again, making bodily threats over the internet is so impotently hilarious that it ensures that whatever merit that which it was attached to loses all meaning, and seems like something only a child would bother doing in earnest.

>>6380344
One day my friend. Dream big, achieve big.

>>6380480
Nah, the thread isn't really triggering to me. I was already planning to purge so yeah.
>>6380489
To be honest, I do dislike the idea of pro-ana, but it seems weird that wanting to avoid recovery or using thinspo as motivation isn't seen as a 'true' eating disorder by ED comms. I'd figure that would just emphasize how deluded you are by your disorder. But whatever.

>>6380370
I don't see any reason to be ashamed of it, and i'm pretty prudish.
If you're just doing art, it's not like you're doing anything wrong or freaky, especially if it's at the behest of others.
Plus, stuff like that is usually good money, so more power to you.

>>6380411
I want to agree with you, but i have seen black girls who pull it off well.
I think it's just that the large majority of kafirs are pretty ita (and that most, like you say, don't have the features), is the issue, not unlike white or asian ita girls, just that it's more obvious.

>>6380106
Yea, it seems to be more an issue with the guys, who are clearly dicks, which i'm guessing stems from the obvious self-esteem problems.
If you care about my $0.02, you just need to be yourself, and reject anyone who isn't at least 80% okay with that, because you do seem to be far too lovely to be with such jerks.