/cgl/ - Cosplay & EGL

>>6358679
It was written by some Britfag. And we all know how romantic THOSE people are. When they kiss, their teef gets locked like a zipper due to all the crookedness.

Some women think twilight and Romeo and Juliet are examples of true love, so yes.

Yes some men/women like bondage and that other shit. Have you ever heard of fetishes before?!

>>6358687
no just being some sex slave to some rich guy?

I feel like any girl who likes this must have severe autism or be incredibly immature.

Fifty Shades of Grey is to the BDSM community what Twilight is to vampire fiction.

You know I don't see men gushing at porno and watching it in public and making it some cultural event, women have really no limits to what they can do without being reprimanded.

>>6358688
Lol yes. girls to to sugar daddys, have sex with them to get money. Shit like that happens. Not to mention prostitution...

>>6358693
Yes but is it every woman's fantasy considering it already outsold harry potter.

>>6358698
Hell if I know.

>read a book about a virgin girl who dates a rich dude
>none of the woman reading are virgins
lol women

I thought that was written for the middle-aged women who wanted a mental escape for a while. I guess it's a grittier read than what women who read Harlequin romance novels would pick up.

It wasn't anything I was interested in reading because romance isn't my genre so wouldn't know. It certainly got hyped though.

>>6358706
guilt for being whores, no east aryan would ever read this tripe.

It's Twilight fanfiction.
What do you think?

This book makes me not want to be a part of the female gender anymore. ugh. I have no fucking idea why so many women like it.

http://youtu.be/5K1RcKJVbHA

I watch porn but I don't defend its production or think that its reality.

Yes. It basically combines every single one of women's desires.

>rich and powerful man
>dominants average woman personally and sexually
>but he has a troubled past
>so she can try to fix him

This is every woman's wet dream.

Bought the book. Never read it. Sold it on ebay. and I am a female.

>>6358719
Actually my wet dream is to be a rich and powerful man who dominates average women personally and sexually but has a troubled past.

That or Luka. Life is so hard to live.

>>6358714
http://m.youtube.com/#/watch?v=l2ekM3IvIvI&desktop_uri=%2Fwatch%3Fv%3Dl2ekM3IvIvI

>>6358722
Women don't actually want to be men though.

>>6358723
Are you telling me what I want, anonymous? I find that rather silly.

>>6358692
Duh, they do it because it's not porn! It's A BOOK! It's an amazing book that shows a new, exciting way to see love.

Really. Literature, bitch, that's why they talk about it in public.

>>6358690

And interestingly, 50 Shades of Grey is rumored to be a Twilight fanfic.

>>6358729
>amazing book that shows a new, exciting way to see love

I want to ask if this is satirical because honestly I'm not sure at this point, you guys troll me far too much.

>>6358730
It is an AU.

>>6358732

What's an AU?

also
>mfw this thread exists yet PT and fakeboi threads get deleted

>>6358733
alternate universe. Same characters in whatever the hell place and personal situation you want.

>>6358733
AU = alternate universe

aka people who don't want to follow anything written in a universe but are too lazy and uncreative to do their own groundwork

>>6358733
alternate universe fanfiction
take the characters and put them somewhere else/in a different situation

it could have been interesting if done correctly but it so rarely is.

I read the first few chapters before I had to stop because the prose was so goddamn purple.
I kind of liked the plot though. It's pretty smutty, but no one claimed it to be quality literature.

>>6358706
Oh you. I read parts of it and [spoiler]I'm a virgin.[/nospoilersoncgl]

>>6358725
Yes. It's not hard to know that any would rather keep their privileges than give them up.

I personally don't and I'm not fat. That makes me better than 99% of women.

I've never seen a good looking woman reading that book. It's always the landwhales and uggos.

>tfw you see a disgusting landwhale reading 50 shades of grey and you know she's picturing herself being fucked by some alpha male

>>6358747
Are you legitimately telling me to...

...check my female privilege?

>>6358752
Yes.

>>6358755

>>6358749
I know a girl who is good looking but seems like she reads every piece of bad advice on what women should do about relationships that will make her seem like anything but a keeper. I can't for this generation of women to grow up and be completely miserable and alone. I hate the destruction of the single mother paradigm but I do want these people to suffer.

>>6358760
I don't know why but why is it so hard nowadays just to find somebody normal? I mean, you don't have to be a looker. Plain is alright but you must have the personality to better yourself. Why look up to the most vapid of characters?

>>6358749
>walk into class
>someone from the last class left 50 shades of grey where they were sitting
>mfw someone was reading cheap smut in the middle of class

>>6358763
I'm just going to go for a demure foreign chick, fuck no wonder white guys leave you for Asian women.

Sadly enough this girl only had one boyfriend and seems to have her head on her shoulders, shes just been brainwashed by some kind of giant femifascist wish I was the worst example of a man culture. Shes been dating around for a year and has only been on one date.

>>6358773
Do we work at the same place...? Holy fuck, my co-workers never stop talking about it.

Everyone at my workplace is driving me insane pestering me to read this. This thread just continues to reassure me not to bother. And it's going to be a movie? Other than obnoxiously silly plot, what is this book?

women have mixed up romance with porn.

>>6358774
I seen 5 swappings of the set in ONE DAY.

>>6358774
are they married? Have boyfriends?

Generally men don't talk about how much they love some porn whore.

>>6358779
A wide variety of coupled statuses and ranging all over the looks scale. Even the newlywed 9 loves the books.

>>6358783
Just wait for the movie.

>2012
>reading

>fastest selling paperback in world history
>audience is entirely female

Yes. This is what women want.

I've read a few excerpts and thought it was some kind of parody. But it wasn't.
I'll stick to classic literature and science fiction thank you very much.

Can there be a fucking backlash, I just want all of you to get hpv.

Welcome to polygynous society, soon all women will be in a giant harem to some sociopath hedge fund manager

>>6358732
Yeah, I was being ironic.

Though it IS the reason why they see it as ok to talk about it openly.

Do men actually think that every woman on the planet loves this book?

>coworker keeps telling me about 50 shades
>Eventually engage in discussion over it
>"omg best book evar so hot i came lol" etc.
>Tell her that if she likes erotic (fan)fiction she should read like Anais Nin or Henry Miller; it's much more erotic and poetic about it too
>"lol i doubt it, but thanks anyway"

:(
Even modern e-lit is sub par.

>>6358808

Do we have to repeat
>fastest and best-selling papaer back in human history, audience is overwhelmingly female
before it sinks in?

I prefer that my significant other would respect me and treat me as an equal, so no.

>>6358810
I feel you. I was like, "No thanks, I have 3 William King books waitng for me to finish them." The reply I received, "Christian Grey is way more awsome, fuck that dude!"

I keep wanting to say the guy's name is Dorian, I know this is wrong.

>>6358820
>Christian Grey is way more awsome, fuck that dude
...These books must be attracting the same women that were so obsessed with twilight. Because honestly, that response sounds like some shit I would have said to you when I was 13 and it sounds like you have to be that emotionally unsound to enjoy any of that shit anyways.

>>6358755
>female
>privilege

HAHAHA OH SNAP

>>6358814
That's like saying every gamer loves Mass Effect 3 because GREATEST and BEST-SELLING GAME OF THE MODERN ERA, audience is overwhelmingly male

>>6358830
Actually, it's like saying Males love Mass Effect 3 because GREATEST and BEST-SELLING GAME OF THE MODERN ERA, audience is overwhelmingly male
Don't be a dipshit, anon.

I find it hilarious when women claim to be intellectually superior when they read harry potter and 50 shades of grey, while i read Dostoyevsky and they call me weird for it.

A friend of mine downloaded it, so I read a bit to see what the fuss is all about.
Good god, why is it so horrifying? All the dialogue, and just generally the descriptions seem so awkward and just overall really bad.
I don't see why this is popular. I mean, I bet you can find better written stuff on the internet for free if it's just about the fetish.

I've never read Fifty Shades of Grey but I would like to read some erotic literature feauturing bondage. Seeing as the general consensus is that this book is lousy, can anyone recommend any good books that are a good example of erotica? Extra points if it features girl/girl bondage.

>>6358810

>Even modern e-lit is sub par.

Even the authors are sub-par

>Anais Nin? Moar like Anais HNNNNGGGGG

>>6358834
My favorite part was when he took out her bloody tampon for her before sex.

Jesus Christ I wish that part didn't exist but it does.

>>6358832
Meh, not all men are into vidya.

>>6358834
Well, it originally was on the internet for free, soooo... yeahhh...

Also, that chick is so awkward it is hillarious. Someone needs to make a video of the scene where she meets mr. Grey, oh god it would be the best.

>>6358833
I bet you're one of those faggots that sits at a coffee shop with a copy of The Fountainhead and hopes to god that someone will ask about what you're reading.

>>6358833
Hey, we watch films with deep emotional shit and all men do is watch porn and stupid action movies.

See? That's not fair to compare those things. You men get your rocks off to videos and read for pleasure. We read to get off and we watch movies for pleasure.

So we're all equally stupid.

>>6358842
Just like not all women are into 50 shades?

>>6358845
not really

>>6358841
Lol. Well ain't he a right up gentleman. Oh, my sides.

>>6358849
And horny. BAM!

>>6358841
>I wish that part didn't exist but it does.
>that part
ONLY that PART?
...I wish that book didn't exist.
>mfw found that book in mom's room
>oh god i didnt want to know she liked that nonononono

>>6358849
>IMPLYING WOMEN WATCH INTELLIGENT MOVIES

>>6358856
I honestly wanted to borrow the first book from my mom out of morbid curiosity but decided against it. I've read a bunch of other parts as quotes on Tumblr but the tampon part burned into my mind. God dammit.

>>6358858
How would you know? You're not a woman.

>reading pic related in between classes
>some girls notice it and tease me for it, assuming I'm gay or something
>the same girls who can't shut up about 50 shades of grey
Why did I have to be born male? Women can get away with anything.

>>6358860
Just go read the first chapter or two, it is hillarious.

>>6358858
> implying men only watch intelligent movies

>>6358863
...That looks really really cute... What is it?

I downloaded the book to see what all the fuss was about, read the first three chapters, can't stop laughing about how terribly written it is. God it's awful.

>>6358863
>Women can get away with anything
But we can't open pickle jars unassisted, though.
That is our true weakness.

>>6358863
How would she even know what that is? Does she know Japanese or did she just take one look at the cover and considered it moeshit?

>>6358867
http://myanimelist.net/anime/10357/Jinrui_wa_Suitai_Shimashita

>>6358870
Because of the cover. Also I tried explaining them the plot.
And don't call it moeshit, it's good.

>>6358868
I know, right?! I especially love how she trips on nothing and is on her hands and knees in his doorway and everyone is all "uh wtf are you doing, you spaztic little shit"

And she thinks he's so cold when all he says is that he is an important man because if he leaves the company people lose jobs. "HOW CAN HE BE SO COLD? FACTS ARE SO SCARY."

>>6358869
As soon as someone invents a device to do that you won't have any weakness anymore.

>>6358868
The author pays a large amount of attention to mundane descriptions to make her writing more "florid" but it ends up sounding retarded and juvenile.

>>6358873
Looks nice. I will check it out.

>>6358875
I count devices as assistance, though.

Seriously, I was at home with a friend and we had to team up to open a pickle jar. She held it while I used both of my hands on the lid.
This is inefficient and really fucks with my plan to rule the world.

>>6358875
Dun dun duuuuuuuuuuuun

>>6358714
Lol Totally beat me to it. This alone is enough to turn sane people off from wanting to read it.

>>6358881
>tfw male and sometimes I can't open jars either
Damn, I need to start working out.

>>6358878
Isn't that what happened with Twilight, though?

This had better not become a writing trend.

On second thought, maybe it should so women can get this shit out of their system and move on to good literature.

>>6358869

>not just smashing the glass and eating pickles off the floor

Women confirmed for barbarians with no innovative skills

>>6358883
ha..hahahha..MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

>>6358888
But then I have to clean that up...

Personally I think I'd like getting taken care of by a rich, high-status guy, but the book itself doesn't appeal to me and isn't getting with the top-tier people really everyone's ultimate sexual goal in life?

>>6358747
rich, handsome guy>rich, beautiful woman>handsome average guy>beautiful woman>average woman>average man>ugly man>ugly woman

I think she'd be moving up a step or two, actually.

>>6358832
>>6358830

It's like saying men all love hardcore rape-and-guro porn because they're the ones who buy it the most. Come on people.

>>6358906
Speaking of porn.. brb, /cgl/

>>6358869
>>6358875
>>6358881
>>6358888

My mom knows a neat trick involving a knife and a hammer taken to the jar. It only really works if you're planning on using it only once, but it does work quite well.

>>6358908
Or, SCIENCE.
tinyurl/cyr44bd

>>6358881
>>6358886
>>6358908

Guys just tap the edge of the lid of the jar onto any hard surface. Not enough to break it, but just hard enough. It works, trust me.

>2012
>not knowing this simple trick
>shiggles

OP's book is proof that women are intellectually inferior.

I mean, how can you expect us to treat you seriously?

>Women read more than men!
Yes it's certainly true, with trash like this, Twilight or Hungry Games.

There's no trash literature popular with men.

>>6358924
wut
Does this really work?

>>6358929

I'm a 5"3 115 pound female with little noodle arms and it works every time for me, so yes.

One good quick tap is all it takes. Any jar.

>>6358928

Your post is proof of your own intellectual inferiority.

>sweeping generalizations based on gender

>>6358928
Walk into a room for 30 seconds, walk out, and describe everything to me in detail.

Then we'll see who's inferior.

>>6358719
I disagree. My wet dream is Vincent Price talking dirty to me, then we have mutually gratifying intercourse.

A-ah... I don't think it's popular because women would actually want that... I think it's more of the idea of something forbidden and exciting, reading something strange. Kinda like how some people enjoy reading or watching TV specials on different cultures or jungle tribes and stuff. It's just different, and the way the book describes things makes it very vivid so... It's a way of experiencing things you'd never get to do/want to do. I thought it was a good book...

>>6358933
Your post is proof that you're an ass hat.

...bitch.

>>6358939

>>6358938

You thought a book where the author described an anus as a "butt star" in a supposed sex scene was a good book?

>>6358719
My wet dream is uh
>damnit think of something witty
Uhhhh
>come on, what sounds hot right now?
Pizza.
>shitshitshit no
fffffuuuuuu-

>>6358943
>butt star
Oh god my sides

>>6358932

I'm female and I can't do this. What is this magic?

>>6358946

And to think, that's not even the worst of it. Another term for anus was, if I recall correctly, a chocolate starfish. Though I may be wrong... I hope I'm wrong...

>>6358948
Black magic, apparently. Stay away from that anon, they may hex you.

>>6358943
No, no, no... I thought it was a good book because it was rather well written(in my opinion), and had a well... rather different story then most popular books. Some of the descriptive words were.... unique, but there are only so many ways you can describe human body parts so I don't really fault it for that... You can figure out what it's referring to after all. ^^ Besides... I was simply explaining why people might like it. It's definitely not one a book I'd ever read again....

>>6358950
Oh my god, are you fucking serious? I actually cringed reading that.

>>6358950
...Were they saying chocolate as in her anus was colored that way? ...please tell me that was all it was and it wasn't about substances that come out of there...

>>6358950
I'm dying here. Omg. This is worse than when people call it a rosebud. Oh ho ho.

My fantasy is getting rough fucked by Jensen Ackles, James Deen style...

I will never find a man I love as much as him.

>>6358953

If you wouldn't read it again then how is it a good book? Or do you mean to say it's more an interesting book or something similar? Because I can't imagine this book ever being described as "good". I can't even fathom why it was published in the first place, I thought books had to be proofread before that.

>>6358953
>good book
>well written
>author's fanfiction

Well, here's one namefag that should be added to the filter.

>>6358946
>>6358950
>butt star
>chocolate starfish
Please stop.

>>6358953
>there are only so many ways you can describe human body parts
You obviously have never read a good romance novel, my dear. Please go out and find some good smut, you will see there are many ways to do this.

>>6358945
You may borrow mine, if you need it.

>>6358946
>>6358955
>>6358957
>>6358960
>>6358961

Have an excerpt, the infamous tampon scene:

His breathing is ragged, matching mine.
“When did you start your period, Anastasia?” he asks out of the blue, gazing down at me.
“Err… yesterday,” I mumble in my highly aroused state.
“Good.” He releases me and turns me around.
“Hold on to the sink,” he orders and pulls my hips back again, like he did in the playroom, so I’m bending down.
He reaches between my legs and pulls on the blue string… what! And… a gently pulls my tampon out and tosses it into the nearby toilet. Holy fuck. Sweet mother of all… Jeez. And then he’s inside me… ah! Skin against skin… moving slowly at first… easily, testing me, pushing me… oh my. I grip on to the sink, panting, forcing myself back on him, feeling him inside me. Oh the sweet agony… his hands clasp my hips. He sets a punishing rhythm – in, out, and he reaches around and finds my clitoris, massaging me… oh jeez. I can feel myself quicken.
“That’s right, baby,” he rasps as he grinds into me, angling his hips, and it’s enough to send me flying, flying high.
Whoa… and I come, loudly, gripping for dear life onto the sink as I spiral down through my orgasm, everything spinning and clenching at once. He follows, clasping me tightly, his front on my back as he climaxes and calls my name like it’s a litany or a prayer.
“Oh, Ana!” His breathing is ragged in my ear, in perfect synergy with mine. “Oh, baby, will I ever get enough of you?” he whispers.
Will it always be like this? So overwhelming, so all-consuming, so bewildering and beguiling.

>>6358971
Th..thank you, anon...
I will borrow this until I find one of my own.

>>6358977
Holy fucking Mother fucking Mary. Are those ellipses IN THE STORY?

>>6358932
Lelz, no fucking problem. If you think you can do it because you're a woman, you need to suck a negro's cock.

>>6358977
I'll admit it - I could shlick to this.

>>6358752
It's not actually a privilege, because being put on the pedestal is a natural part of being a woman.

>>6358983

Yes.

Have some more, a paragraph someone on tumblr wrote about the book:

>Ana’s reactions are illogical and ridiculous. When Grey shows up at a bar after she drunk dials him, he tells her he tracked her cell phone (after knowing him for maybe a week). But she’s happy he’s there. Grey talks to her like she’s his dog. He says “Good girl” and bosses her around, and though she calls him a control freak, she doesn't leave. They are actually mid sexual act at one point when Grey, and I quote, “pulls out” and demands that Ana gets dressed to meet his mother. She acts flattered. He never asks her to call him by his first name.

And what is perhaps the most fucking annoying thing of all, thoroughout the entire book, and especially the beginning, the main character Anastasia acts like a sheltered 13 year old, despite being 27. She refers to her genitals many times as "down there" (in italics), and apparently has never touched herself, thought about sexuality or anything remotely sexual before she met Mr. Grey.

It all makes me want to shoot myself in the fucking head when I see how popular it all is.

>>6358987
I don't think I could. The grammar bothers me too much...

>>6358991
...I knew a guy in high school, and he acted just like that. The ladies weren't exactly swooning over him, even though he actually was rich.
Struck me as a creep and sort of rape-y control freak.
I can only imagine the type of idiot that would fall for him would be someone like Ana.
So it sort of makes sense. But I don't really get why people think this book is so amazing when the writing is something you'd see in a chat room where everyone is only half paying attention because they're too busy fapping to write anything worth reading...

>>6358991
She's 22, yo.

>>6358991
The grammar. THE GRAMMAR.

>>6359003

Not that anon, and I haven't read the books, but I keep seeing the character's age as 27 or 21. What gives?

>>6359007
Fifty shades of grey wikia says she is 22.
It says Mr. Grey is 28, which may be where they are getting confused.

Everyone who hasn't read this book has to see this.

It's a drunk chick doing a dramatic and exaggerated reading in a silly voice with a silly accent, and it is fucking hilarious.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=_FV-nuhlB5A

>>6358991
A lot of girls don't start masturbating until after they start having sex though.

>>6359006
>topdecking bonfire

>>6359014
Oookay, where did you hear that? Because that is bullshit.
A lot of girls don't admit to that until they start having sex. Then they realize they don't have to be ashamed or some shit.

>>6359014

Where are you getting this information, because I get teh strangest feeling it is completely wrong.

You saying girls don't get horny until after they've had dick?

>>6359014
Lies. I started when I was five, possibly four. I didn't know what I was doing until I read about it in a Girlfriend magazine or some other rubbish magazine when I was like 11.

>>6359025
>A lot of girls don't admit to that until they start having sex.

I thought it was just that they said they didn't before they had sex to seem more "pure" or some BS.

>>6359014
Wat? No way, I was masturbating at 13-14.

>>6359014
I started pretty young, it just seems strange that so many women avoid this activity. I think when a person starts masterbating probably has to do more with home life and personal experiences over their gender. Toddlers do it quite regularly, they just don't know what it is they are doing. Then many parents teach kids about it and depending on the guardians outlook on how to approach the situation you could end up with a little girl that is terrified to touch herself I suppose.

>>6359031
>>6359037
I didn't know how until I was 19.

>>6359014
Yeah, I started around 10. Though I didn't know what it was. I had heard my parents having a talk with my brother about it before, so I thought that "masturbating" was a word for when guys did it. I didn't really get it until later.
So it's either confusion on their part, or they are full of bullshit.

So, /cgl/, why have you bought that book? Do you feel ashamed or not?

>>6359037
*seems strange TO ASSUME

Sorry.

I remember the first time I masturbated when I was a kid was because of either slave outfit Jasmine from the first Aladdin or a MAD TV sketch with Bob Dole or Nixon getting his nipples licked by Nicole Sullivan's gothy character. I'm really hoping the ladder because the MAD thing is just creepy now that I remember it, fucking A. I couldn't have been more than 8 or 9. I didn't know it was masturbating per say, just that it felt good but was something I should do in private. Didn't lose my vcard til 17 so there was plenty of time between then to learn what masturbation was

Too many people to reply to. Sorry that I don't have a source for you because I can't locate my old Bio of Human Sexuality notes, but it's just what we learned in class. And you could be right, the information did come from self-report surveys so it's possible that girls could have lied to "seem more pure w/e." The assumption was that a lot of girls (not all, not most etc) don't start masturbating until they start having sex because they are too ashamed to explore themselves sexually and whatnot.

>>6359038
Suuure you didn't.
You're an anon, you don't need to lie here.

>>6359039
No, it's actually pretty well written.

>>6359048
I'm from a country where it's taboo to touch yourself or a guy. I didn't even know how anything worked until I had my first boyfriend. No I don't know why I would lie here either.

>>6359014
>tfw I started "touching myself" when I was 9 or so, not having a clue what I was doing
>tfw I decided it would be a good idea to stick a baby carrot up my ass at 11
>tfw I finally realized what I was doing at 13
Those were dark, dark times. Why am I admitting this? ;_;

>>6359044
It's alright, I am pretty sure young girls being asked already have been influenced by bashfulness and society's standards of modesty. Many, many small children do it. Previous generations have raised their kids to not do it abd reprimand the behaviour with shame. But more modern parents are starting to teach children it is okay and a private activity.

http://parents.berkeley.edu/advice/worries/masturbating.html

>>6359056
Because you are an anon.
...By the way, I've never stuck anything up my ass. Why would you do that? Serious question.
All I can think of is that the sensation would be like poop that can't decide where to go. And that doesn't sound pleasant.

>>6359060
Not anon you're replying to, but similar reason as to why you masturbate? Because it can feel good?

>>6358977
>err...

>>6359063
...but does it feel like indecisive poop?
...Seriously I'm curious and I don't want to try something like that if it's going to feel like I think it will.

>>6358977
If you made this into a porno scene as-is, it would be really boring...

>>6359060
I seriously don't know why I did it; I just randomly got the idea to stick something up there. It was the first and last time I did it, but I still cringe when I think about the fact that it was with a *carrot*. I really don't remember what it felt like, but a lot of people are into that kind of thing, so there must be something good about it?

>>6359050
Well written?

Makes me wonder what kind of stuff you would consider bad...

>>6358977
That is the crappiest porn I have read in a long time. Was there even a proof reader on this crap?

>>6359081
I don't know.
..Can someone please explain?

>>6359088
Russian literature is boring and undreadable.

>>6359099
Well it was a fanfic

>>6359099
I think the only thing worse would be if Hans von Hozel wrote it.
Although the furniture would probably take over or something, so at least it would be entertaining.

>>6359060
I've actually stuck a finger up my ass once, when I was really small. I guess in my case it was just curiosity because I was about 4 or 4.

>>6359110
Oh man that actually sounds like it would be funny.
I want to write that but I still can't figure out what the deal is with "danube"

>>6359103
you don't deserve to live

>>6359168
You're saying that just because I have a black bf.

>>6358977
This excerpt, in the style of Hans von Hozel.

The Grey and Ana danube into toilet.
"When had your period start?!" asked the Grey.
The Grey rip tampon away from Ana!
"NOOOOOOOOOOOO MY TAMPON" says Ana
Grey danubes the tampon to trash can
"FINALLY!" yells tampon!
and tampon attacks Grey!
"AHHH NOOOO" yells the Grey as tampon has killed.
Tampon back to Ana lovingly
END.

>>6359197
Oh god now I have to reread all the stories.

>>6359056
Thanks for adding another screencap to the folder dear.

PLAY IT LOUD

Seriously though, women are utter garbage. This board is proof of that.

>drama
>period discussions (that are disgusting i might add)
>sleeping around with lots of strange guys
>sleeping with prominent male tripfags, sometimes for money (lol prostitution follows women wherever they go)

>>6359014
I was rubbing over my panties since the kindergarden without knowing what was I doing. Once my mom saw me and told me I shouldn't do it but that didn't stop me. Around 11 I found out what it was in the Internet and started masturbating to hentai...

>>6359244
You don't have to stay here if you don't like us...

>>6359256
It's way too fun to laugh at you

>>6358977

Holy shit. Why is this utter piece of shit so popular...

>>6359244
>sleeping around with lots of strange guys
If only, anon, if only.

>>6359266
Because women are taught to read.

I'm from the Pacific Northwest, and the person who wrote this apparently included a lot of scenes happening around the area. It's weird as fuck to think about.

>tfw you're broke and considering writing smut like this for quick money

>>6359276

Shit, me too.

>>6358977
I would love a good deep, hard, dicking like this when I'm on my period. I am horny as all fuck, super sensitive, and orgasms help relieve my cramps.

Seems so. I'm quite3 involved in the fetish world but none of the really hard shit. Some of my friends who are into that are reporting woman claiming to want a "dom" but then shitting themselves asnd backing out really quickly.

I read the book but holy shit was it hard. She refers to her vagina as her "sex"

cringe

>>6358991
women are idiots

welcome to the republican party

membership requires at least 1.2mill in liquid and the knowledge that women should not be in charge of who lives and dies

since they're barely smart enough to remember breathing

and i bet any woman wouldn't have realized i'm alluding to abortion prior to actually writing it in the post just now

The worst part for me is the fact I'd have been laughed at for reading basically the same thing on fanfiction.net in my teenage years (and I still now I admit)
At least that shit is FREE

>>6359028
Oh god, I thought I was the only one who started masturbating at that age (of course I'm not, but, you know)

>>6359290
Oh, this. I totally get wanting to read terrible smut occasionally, bad plot/flat characters be damned. As long as you don't think any of it is in any way realistic, no problem.
But buying it in book form? Defending the 'story' when anyone who has ever read anything can tell it's terrible? Thinking you are suddenly teehee super naughty~ for reading bad porn? Have none of these women had access to the internet? I'm embarrassed on their behalf.

Sage because
>/cgl/ - Cosplay & EGL

>>6359279
I'm the same during my period too. Sucks that the boyfriend hates all the blood. He's got the good end of the stick though since I'll just suck him off, because when I'm on my period I'd do anything just to be near dat dere dick

sage for cool story

I know it gets my pussy wet

>>6359333
says the guy who thinks he's grey
lel

>>6359339
>2012
>not forcing women into using anal beads
what are you, gay?

>>6359364
shaddup, Beta virgin neckbeard

I'm from /fit/ but find /cgl/ refreshing and entertaining. That being said.....pic related

>>6359366
if i could grow a beard on my neck, id be rocking that shit

>>6359372
kk go be underage somewhere else

>>6359376
>23
>underage
y u bein a big ol bitch

>>6359379
Fuck, you are 23? I am barely 18 and i look twice as old and manly as you.

>>6359368
LIGHTWEIGHT BABY!

>>6359379
nah, you're underage

>>6359379
>>6359384
>>6359385
Stop posting you creeps.

>>6359385
ye i got fucked genetically. ill be good in like 10 years

>>6359386
anon pls

Is it really about a shy woman being dominated by an alpha male?

For everyone's safety I hope it's not

>>6359393
>ye I'm a tryhard who thinks there's actually someone who gives a fuck about me
newfags of '12 are the worst newfags

>>6359279

Sometimes when I'm really drunk I'll ride the red wave.

>>6359397
luv you too

>>6359407
suck my left cock

>>6359412
what's wrong with the right one?

My issue is that I find the writing dis-interesting and the sex scene seem just awkward to me.

Porn/smutty/erotic books are suppose to make you want to have a pant off party but this just made me want to put clothes ON, like start reading in a tee and jeans and end up with a jacket, hat and scarf.

Shitty book, but

>tfw no qt 3.14 sub gf

My boyfriend will do period sex but I won't. Too messy and I'm not one of those horny ones. Having an actual period from hell right now. Never been so painfull or heavy. Not sure what's up

>>6358706
>watches a genre full of storylines where innocent virgin girls fall in love with virginal neckbeard losers
>complaining about 50 shades of grey

>>6359421
fascist piece of shit

>>6359463
>virgin men
>watching a series about virgin girls falling in love with virgin men

compared to

>whores
>reading a "book" about a virgin dating Vlad Dracula

Someone's got to write 50 Shades of Faggorty....

>>6359475
>faggorty
lol'd

>>6359468
Hey now, Vlad the Impaler never did anything bad enough to deserve being compared to Edward Cullen.

I hate double standards

>>6359491
I hate getting doubles

>>6359501
>3 master balls
Oh Green, you so crazy

I've been dying to read these, but they're $16 each and that's too much for a cheap laugh. Any place I can read them online?

>>6359509
Pretty sure it's on TPB somewhere but I sure as hell won't make sure of it

>>6359501
you didn't get none

>>6359517
Good because I hate getting them

>>6359515
definitely on TPB. I didn't want to pay but figured I'd see what the fuss is about.

probably need to convert it to pdf online somewhere like I did though unless you intend to put it on a kindle or something.

Hey femanons. Men don't respect you. How does it feel? You lead easy lives. You don't know what being actually alone feels like. You always have guys interested in you.

>>6359527
feels good

I just had sex with four different guys this week alone

It's pretty detailed and there's this weird part where he fools around with her tampon and takes it out and then fucks her I guess. I know some people are into that, but I just wasn't aware of how detailed and smutty it was until i read that quote from a website.

From what little I've seen, it's horribly written and it really almost makes me want to recommend some fanfics to these women because even for a fanfic, it's really shitty. I have more than a handful I can recommend that are infinitely better written and more of a turn-on. I mean fucking seriously, inner-goddess? This bitch is constantly talking about her inner-goddess, as if her plain, average ass had one.

I also don't get this fascination with rich guys, my husbandos strictly have to be badasses. Well, most of the time. I don't know what's so badass about being rich. It just doesn't appeal to me.

>>6359551
>where he fools around with her tampon and takes it out and then fucks her I guess
>I know some people are into that
What the fuck.

>>6359551
>I don't know what's so badass about being rich. It just doesn't appeal to me.
It does to money wolves

>>6359527
Pretty bad, because none of them are Vincent Price.

>>6359551
>This bitch is constantly talking about her inner-goddess, as if her plain, average ass had one.

Oh my god, YES. shit is ridiculous.