/cgl/ - Cosplay & EGL

>>6307503

i literally chuckled at you pic OP

5*

Last time at the fabric store I heard a loud Weeb couple pestering an employee about "gold stretchy stuff." They catch me looking and try to start a conversation about Avengers. "Oh, so what are you cosplaying?"
"Fem- Loki."
Nope, nope, nope.

>>6307523
>Baltimore Conic Con 2012
>Amazing Lady Loki walking around the dealers room
>guy points and asks "Whats that cosplay?"
>his girlfriends responses with "Oh!!! Thats Lady Thor! Its a female fan version of Thor!"
>mfw

>>6307503
I can picture that they'll come back tomorrow to try to return the fleece because they got too much.

>I don't NEEEED this much, I want my money back

>>6307523
Ugh, I had some people in my local store do the same thing. Except it was for Captain America (i think) they were buying printed cotton for a "lolita" outfit.

Also had some kid looking for canvas to make corsets. Offered to help since I tightlace for funsies and make my own.
>"what are you making this for?"
>"there's this renaissance faire coming up and I need a corset."
>Oh cool, someone who shares my love for historical stays!!! Oh joy! "What style of corset where you thinking of making?
>"Oh just the regular kind that pull in your waist and end under your boobs."
>Wait, she means a waspie.....for the renaissance....okay.
>"oh well that style wasn't around then, but I can help you find a better pattern for a more historically accurate one if you'd like."
>"No, I did SOOO much research and its accurate, thanks though."
..........okay........

pic related my face

Worked at Jo-Anns for 2 years as well.

The stories I have of weebs and furries and itas are just...just...

I can't :[

>>6307657
You can.

>>6307657
I wanna hear the ita ones first

>>6307662
>>6307666
Oh alrighttt. Well first of all, I've got great stories and a lot of horrible stories. I shit you not, one time there was a girl who was buying some fabric because she was contacted by h.Natao (not sure of the spelling) because they were interested in her designs and wanted her to design pieces that would go with their look. Not sure if it was true, but she wasn't like a delusional weeb, and she knew what she was doing. That was really cool. Tons of really amazing cosplayers, 50 year old guys making brilliant Star Wars cosplays, I met cool people. But we don't care about the good stories here, do we ladies?

There are just sad things that happen at Jo-Anns, brimming with rachel lace and kimonoz made out of costume satin.

I have quite a number of stories, a good portion of them being /cgl/ related. I hope you guys enjoy these stories that I will begin posting. It causes me great second-hand embarrassment to bring up these memories from the back of my mind. I hope it's worth it.

Let's begin.

>>6307689
>Girl comes in.
>Maybe 14 years old, about a hot 250lbs.
>Frizzy hair all down to her shoulders.
>Kingdom hearts shirt.
>Keyblade necklace.
>With mother, who looks normal.
>Not obnoxious or loud and weeby, just quietly browsing.
>She is going to be 'cosplaying' at babbys first convention, which I will also be attending.
>I ask if I can help them.
>Says she's going to make a costume.
>I ask if it's cosplay.
>Shit hits the fan.
>OMFGUKNOCOSPLAYOMFGYAYSQUEEEE ^_____^
>Made a complete 180 and is no longer even trying to hide her powerlevel.
>Nyans and enunciates words like *faint* and *sweatdrop*
>Mom is also dying of secondhand embarrassment, we are telepathically relating to each other.
>She wants to cosplay Vincent from Final Fantasy.
>pleasegodno.jpg
>Help her while looking at pattern books, says 'kya!' with ever page she turns.
>Starts SCREAMING when she finds a coat that she thinks could work for Vincent.
>Cannot even closely be Vincent's coat.
>Expresses that she will be wearing a simple gold glove she got last halloween.
>Doesn't want a wig, will not be dying her own brown frizzy hair.
>Her mom is kinda sighing, not knowing anything about cosplay.
>Convince her slowly that this is a costume that's going to take a lot of time and is not really a good choice for a first cosplay. Mom is agreeing with every word I say.
>I suggest her doing a gijinka Moogle.
>She is thrilled at this, as well as her mother (because of simplicity)
>See her at the convention, she runs up to me thanking me so much, looking surprisingly adorable in a cosplay that is appropriate for her.
>Is thrilled with the amount of attention she is getting.
>Acts incredibly weeby, but hey, it could have ended up a lot worse.

Not the worst one, on to some itas.

>>6307733
>Girl walks in.
>She has on a black cardigan.
>long straight non-styled blonde hair.
>beige blouse.
>gray ruffly tiered miniskirt.
>nude heels
>oh that's a cute outfit.
>She brings up a bunch of quilting fabric.
>Starts trying to educate me on lolita fashion.
>It's a Japanese street fashion inspired by anime and dolls
>Shit like 'skirt length doesn't matter' and 'cleavage is okay, it makes it more mature'
>Tries to tell me that her outfit is lolita.
>Dress she is making (out of 2dollarperyard quilting fabric) is going to be for a 'cupcake lolita dress'
>Talks about how this fabric is the best for lolita
>Buying rachel lace.
>Will be 'painting' on sprinkles.
>Dress will be strapless.
>Has leg avenue peticoat from last halloween
>Will be worn with pink converses.
>Starts warning me about Milanoo as if I've never heard of it.
>Assumes that I need to be educated on lolita the whole time.
>I start asking what brands she likes, thow out AP and BTSSB for example
>She says "oh, i think i've heard of those, yeah."
>Make shit up like "Oh, what about K..Kawaii Doll Lemon?"
>"OH yeah, I know that brand."
>S.M.Fucking.H.
>Is unfamiliar with terminology of anything; rockinghorse shoes, Jumperskirt, salopette, Alice bow, etc.
>Says "If I wasn't wearing lolita today, I would be wearing a fashion called Mori"
>Spells it out as if I've never heard of it.
>Whole time, I keep trying to explain that I know all this shit, but she won't listen.
>Starts suggesting that I should thin out my hair if I do lolita.
>Bye bitch.

Fucking why.

>hey is this black linen a good idea for a curtain
>nope use this black polyester felt
>okay.jpg
>how the fuck do i sew?
>teaches how to sew basics

stupid guy was me

>>6307733
You handled that pretty well!

>>6307794
>Retarded 14 y/o weeb girl at my school.
>She's a freshmen, I'm a senior.
>Immediately latches on to me because 'OMG U HAVE KAWAII PINK HAIR LIKE A GOTH LOLI ANIME CHARACTER OMFG'
>whyareyoudoingthistome.jpg
>Is insane, tries to start up 'anime club,' making herself the President of course.
>Decides she wants to do a convention.
>In the high school.
>omg.
>'omg it'd be so cool, we'd use the theatre for the cosplay comp, and the gym for the dealer's room and the raaaave, and the cafeteria for the food and the MAID CAFE~ which i will run! And all the classrooms for the panels, and the main hallway will be artist's alley omfg this is so cool!'
>Decides to be cosplaying Korea or someshit from Hetalia for this 'con.' This would never in the world be approved by the club admin or the school or anything, but this idea she just came up with and decided it was going to happen.
>Comes in to Jo-Anns to start this cosplay.
>Shows me picture of the character.
> Commissioning some old lady seamstress to make it.
>Picks out gaudy costume satin with 'TOTALLY KAWAII GOLD FLOWER PRINT IT'S SO ASIAN JUST LIKE THE CHARACTER OMFG'
>The character does not have lace on the sleeves, but decides she wants 6-7 tiers of rachel lace on them because she is 'really in to lolita fashion and wants to incorporate it in to her cosplay'
>Won't be wearing a wig.
>Whole thing is just super inaccurate, it's a joke.
>She's incredibly delusional.
>Spends like $250 dollars of daddy's money on pointless bullshit that is going to further the cosplay's inaccuracy.
>What a terrible surprise, they won't let her have a convention at the high school ;_;
>Don't worry! This just gives me more time to add more lace to my kahsplay for the other con coming up!
>ohthankthelord.jpg

1/2

>>6307864
>See her at convention, she looks absolutely ridiculous.
>She's with another girl I know that's her age who is already just incredible at cosplaying and is sweet and non-delusional.
>Everyone is photographing her, and delusional girl is not getting photographed and no one is recognizing her due to her 'creative twist and interpretation.'
>Sad because her friend is cosplaying from Hetalia as well and everyone knows who she is lol.
>Happen to see her at the right place at the right time, she starts screaming about how no one gets what she's cosplaying. I watch her start ripping the rachel lace and throwing it while crying.
>Dying of laughter.

>>6307733
This is a great story! That was very well played, anon.

>>6307853
Thank-you! Being a bigger girl, it just makes me sick to see girls wearing shit for the body they want, not the body they have. So I was glad to steer her in the right direction. I felt like I did something good, and she, being the little weeb she was, love that she was getting more attention than she would in the Vincent cosplay. It was good to see her having so much fun.

Alright, so I don't really have many more /cgl/ related stories, but I have some rather horrific and just wonderful stories working at J-Fab. The rest are just sorta mundane, girls wanting to make kimonos out of costume satin. I do have one story about a furry though, which I'd be glad to share with you.

Just let me know if you want to hear the furry one or maybe some other gems that are non-cosplay related.

>>6307882
I want to hear all of them! Do you have anymore ita ones?

>>6307882
I want to hear them.

>>6307872
Thankya :3 It was a shining moment for me.

>>6307882
it was a good story. I don't agree with criticizing people for wearing what they want vs what You think they would look good in, in general though. I used to go to cons with people who would just sit around and judge people for not looking good in something simply for the fact that they think they were too fat/skinny/whatever for the outfit, but I realized that whoever they happened to be talking about what having a hell of a lot more fun doing what made them happy than the people I was with who were constantly sulking around and being negative about it /shrug

I would think you would just be happy that you think you look better because you've dressed yourself to your own specifications of what looks nice, not judging other people for what they want to wear.

>>6307922
A lot of these people don't have that kind of self esteem. They cosplay not because they think they look good cosplayed, they cosplay because they want everyone else to think they look good cosplayed.

>>6307889
I would be happy to share all of them with yOH MY GOD I JUST REMEMBERED THE BEST ITA ONE.
>No jokes, 400lb 6'5'' girl walks in
>Wearing gothgarb, size XXL Tripp pants, eyeliner down face, some hottopic slutwear corset, you know.
>Walks up to me, because I have tattoos and piercings and pink hair, I guess she gets the vibe of 'lol omg one of us'
>I will never be one of you, ma'am.
>I guess her type of people have this thing where they simply must try their best to spew out their sewing knowledge to me because I work there, as if I'll say "oh wow, you certainly know a lot! I figured you knew nothing, i'm such a rude employee for not thinking that. you're so knowledgeble~!"
>She starts trying too hard.
>oh wow, this would make a really cool underbust laced renahsance corsit
>is halloween costume polyester made for table cloths and making clothes for those outdoor stone geese that old ladies have.
>Starts going on about lolita.
>Begins bragging about her lolita abilities.
>Has ~100 lolita dresses and maybe 50 skirts, all straight from Japan.
>"Oh oh, actually I went TO Japan to get them."
>worst compulsive liar ever.
>Picks up horrible fabrics, 'oh wow, I could totally make a beautiful lolita dress out of this'
>it's a polyester spandex blend, why would you even think...
>"Oh wow, that'd make a really pretty like, oldschool lolita outfit!"
>that is outdoor upholstery fabric.

1/2

>>6307922
Yeah but there is a difference between a friendly suggestion and judging people because you're a bitch.

>>6307941
>Starts asking shit like "How long have you been sewing?"
>Oh maybe 2 years, nothing serious though.
>Oh haha, I have been sewing for about 19 years.
>Had just explained to me that she was 21.
>Riiiight.
>"Have you ever made a lolita type corset?"
>Obviously answer no.
>"Oh wow, that's weird. I've made about 40.
>Starts talking about how she did a 'Lolita Cloud Strife' at ComicCon
>Alright lady, just pick the fucking fabric you want and get the shit out of my store.

I wish I could people service. The furry one is up next then. You're going to need a vomit pan on hand.

>>6307941
Do you work at the store in Boulder CO?

>>6307942
Sure, if someone just doesn't know, I agree with giving them my opinions. However, if they later decide not to follow my advice, I'm not going to say they are wrong for it. Everyone starts somewhere, it's true.

>>6307922
You are very very right, but she said to me "I am having so much more fun wearing this cosplay than I would have in the Vincent one!"

And it was honestly not about how it would look, it was more or so wanting her to be able to put together a cohesive and goodlooking costume in the short amount of time (the con was maybe 1-2 weeks away) and keeping it easy on the mom because she was going to have to do the sewing. That could have also presented a problem because it might not have gotten done by the time of the con, and it would have been really sad if she didn't have something to wear. The Moogle cosplay gave her the chance to do her first cosplay by her self, and helped her start learning. It all worked in everyone's favor, both her and her mother's. I just wanted to make sure she had a good time at her first con, and I knew she'd be super disappointed that no one would take pics of her Vincent cosplay. I hope that clears it up a bit.

Okay on to the furry story!!

>>6307955
I agree with that. ON TO THE FURRY STORY.

>>6307951
Well of course you can't be mad, and why should you? If they're silly enough to blow off good advice, they deserve the stares they get when they make something horrible.
Most of the time when I get advice or ideas from people, it's about something super awesome that I hadn't even considered before.

>>6307950
Oh please no, I don't live far from Boulder.

>>6307943
>You're going to need a vomit pan on hand.
This is either going to be horrible or fucking hilarious.

hey in my neighborhood joanns some people wrote on the fabric pen tester sheet all the names of the kids. I wonder if we live in the same neighborhood.
Oh a girl can dream

>>6307950
I do not, I was working in Ohio at the time.

>>6307960
ALRIGHT LET'S DO DIS.
>Working a closing shift.
>Nothing at J-Fab is really hard, not in a super big city, and our store is not huge, so there's never a ton of people.
>The worst part is when people come in 15 mins before closing and want people to come in and get an hour's worth of help and consultation and general bullshit. This rarely happens, so when it does, it causes me to immediately hate you.
>8:50, we close at 9. Already texting friends about plans, just ready to go, and thinking I'm going to be leaving soon.
>Hear door sensor go off, someone has penetrated the lair.
>The most obnoxious furry guys come in, completely decked out in tails and ears and goggles and just...fuck.
>The like, run-skip in, making a spectacle of themselves.
>My very conservative 60 year old manager is the only one there, the face she gives me is the most hilarious thing I've ever seen.
>They start running around all the fabric, like chasing each other, fucking shit up majorly, and I had just straightened that shit up.
>UM HI CAN I HELP YOU FIND SOMETHING YOU STUPID FUCKING WEEBS
>"OH HEY LOL WE'RE JUST LOOKING FOR SOME STUFF FOR A UM..A COSTUME LOLOL."
>Said it "EL OH EL OH EL"
>You're making fursuits, idiots.
>Explain that we are going to be closing in about 7 minutes.
>OH LOL WE WONT BE LONG
>Bring up a bunch of fake fur and foam and TONS of bullshit to be cut
>Required to give service no matter how long it takes even if about to close.
>Asking billions of questions, being obnoxious.
>Trying to hurry them along
>Keep drifting off the subject and talking about shit like anime and furries and bullshit.
>Try to keep them on track.

1/2

>>6308007
>Have Half an hour of bullshit, they finally figure out what they want, they start putting shit back in the wrong place.
>Oh no no, please, I'll put it back!
>NO THAT'S OKAY, I WANNA BE NICE
>fucking idiots.
>start cutting
>They start making out, obscenely.
>Swear to god...they lay down on the FUCKING CUTTING COUNTER AND START MAKING OUT AND GROPING EACH OTHER. MOANING AND LIKE PANTING, LIKE.
>I am officially in the Twilight Zone, bro, I don't even give enough of a fuck to tell them to stop.
>takes about an hour because they have tons of shit
>Get to register
>OMG NOOO WE THOUGHT THE PRICE WAS FOR THE WHOLE BOLT, NOT BY THE YARD, IT'S TOO EXPENSIVE, SORRY, BYE.
>Spend another hour putting all their shit back.
>Yiff. In. Hell.
>Manager is just staring straight at the door, expect her to ask me what that was about and have to explain to her.
>Before I can say anything, my 60 year old conservative manager says

Fucking Furries.

It was the best and worst day ever.

>>6308012
>make-out in a store

The fuck?

>>6307733
I wanted to do a gijinka Moogle this year since I'm new to sewing but it didn't work out. What pattern and fabric did you give her? I was thinking of just buying a white dress but making one would be fun.

>>6308028
It was terrible. I had a few other furries that frequented, and they were always incredibly nice and non-crazy, and polite and professional and socially appropriate. I'm not a furry by any means, but I feel quite bad because people only think that furries are the same as the ones in my story. They're not, and they give an awful name to the good ones.

>>6308038
...All the furries I've met have been like the ones in your store, though.
So that's why I thought they were all like that. I have never met a polite or sane furry...

>>6308033
She ended up using footie pajamas! Lol, I know it's like, closet cosplay, but it was babby's first, and she just wanted to have a fun. It gave her a chance to work more on smaller cosplay aspects, like details before she dove headfirst into sewing and doing some intricate difficult cosplay and not being able to finish it and not getting to cosplay at the convention. And personally, I'd rather see a cute and fun closet cosplay Moogle than a closet cosplay Vincent.

I think gijinkas are God's way of saying it's cool if you wanna look cute without trying.
Okay guys, I'm going to do some stories that aren't /cgl/ related now, but are still incredibly lulzy and strange. Enjoy :3

I'm going to start off by saying that the main demographic of JFab is older women. That's who we see most of. As we all know, sometimes old people don't get to socialize as much. They get very lonely, and they don't have many people to talk to. Their families drift away, and live too much of a fast-paced life to visit them all the time. This is sad, but it is an unfortunate fact of life. So many times, these old women will come to Jo-Anns knowing exactly what they want, but drawing out the process just so they can have someone to talk to for an hour or two. I have no problem doing this, I sorta 'specialize' in old people, and I always enjoy seeing them smile and they're always very kind to me. However, due to this fact, they sometimes begin telling you about things that are generally socially inappropriate to talk to a stranger about because they have no one else to relay these things to. Sometimes this fact combines with their numerous old people brain problems. I am now going to share with you the epitome of these stories. Prepare yourself.

(also, it's raining, and the power might go off, so sorry if I don't post due to the internet cutting off for a bit)
1/?

>>6307865
that... ended sad.
poor girl, think about how proud she must have been, only to have no one like it or even notice it and then crying as she destroys something she worked hard on while people around her laugh...

sure her idea was pretty dumb from the get go, but it isn't funny that she had such a bad time with it. That isn't what cosplay is about.

>>6308079
>Old woman comes in.
>She has an outdoor grapevine christmas tree that she decorates for each season, this being Easter.
>Starts asking me all sorts of questions about what would look good, what ideas I have, etc.
>No problem with this, I'd rather be creative than put fabric away or sweep or something.
>we're doing this for about an hour, both equally enjoying ourselves.
>She drops a spool of ribbon on the floor.
>I lean down to pick it up.
>She says 'Oh thank you hunny, I have trouble bending down, I have a hole in my stomach'
>Instead of continuing convo, she just stares at me, waiting for me to comment on this.
>"O-oh...do you? I'm..sorry."
>Says "Oh yeah, it's awful. See I had colon cancer, and I was having a lot of trouble with my bowels and blah blah blah" and goes on talking about this shit for 10 minutes.
>Just nodding and responding with "Oh gosh, I'm so sorry!" and "Oh no, that's awful!" Rather disgusting shit.
>End up getting her up to the register, on totally different topic, ringing her up.
>Suddenly, she changes the subject out of fucking NOWHERE.
>"Here, I'll show you some pictures"
>ohgod.jpg
>Whips out 2 pictures, these are mid-surgery medical photos of her 300lb self splayed out on the surgery table naked with this massive whole in the center of her stomach, exposing her intestines, blood, and guts.
>The second photo is post surgery, after it was closed up. Explains that the whole was covered and stiched with pigskin.
>Holy shit, I'm completely in shock.
>She starts to leave, I think it's over but it's not.

1/?

>>6308106
>She is almost out the door, she turns around.
>I will never forget it.

Here, I'll show you.

>She LIFTS UP HER SHIRT, AND SHOWS ME THE GANGRENE THAT IS COVERING HER PIGSKIN STOMACH, OMFG, HER TITS WERE OUT, OH MY GOD PLEASE KILL ME
>There is blood, and it's slightly staining her pants. some suchers are coming undone. Bruising and nasty and pussy, just fucking awful
>I gasp, and cover my mouth.
>She just nods "I know, isn't if awful?"
>I just sorta nod, and she leaves
>I lose my shit, it was terrible.
>Seriously considered quitting at that moment, it was too much.

Whew, that was bad. Next up is Stephanie the Crackhead Stripper. Interested?

>>6308113

Oh god that's horrifying.

Also yes, very interested.

>>6308113
lol pussy, i meant pus-y, but yeah.

>>6308103
The girl was insane, and she did terrible things to the art department and was a theif. It is sad, but she was cosplaying for the attention, not for fun. However, I will say that it was her breaking point.

She is now quite a skilled young lady, non-delusional, and has quite a nice collection of cosplays that she's made on her own. I guess I forgot to include that in the story, and she laughs about the fit that she had back then. She was just young, and didn't really 'get' what cosplay was about yet, but I am very proud of her for growing up.

>>6308113
Yes. I feed off of stories like this.

>>6308113

F5555555555

>>6308114
LOL, I love cgl

>>6308113
>Next up is Stephanie the Crackhead Stripper. Interested?

>Stephanie the Crackhead Stripper
oh boy oh boy please go on

>>6308115
oh thats good! It always makes me sad to hear about people who have horrid times with cosplay. It is nice to know that she learned and is now more balanced.

Hahaaa, really glad that you guys are interested in these stories, I'm so glad to share them! Here's Stephanie's story.
>See girl walk in
>Without even being 50 feet to her, I see her and know there is something very wrong with her.
>She is about 5'8'', but weighs maybe 70 pounds.
>Long straight black hair.
>This bitch REEKS, of B.O and crack, not an assumption, I am very familiar with the scent of crack cocaine.
>methsores on face and neck.
>eyes bugged the fuck out
>Has lost ass and tits due to addiction.
>just obvious that she has some serious addiction problems, very sad because she would be absolutely beautiful if it weren't for her in this situation.
>She is twitching and teaking and just loosing it.
>picking at sores, just a sad sight.
>she sees me, immediately says "HOLY FUCK" and walks toward me.
>For some reason, she HAS to curse no matter what she's saying.
>"Hey where the fuck did you get that hair color? that shit is bright as fuck, i want that shit."
>Lol'd, tell her. Ask if i can help her find anything.
>I see in her shaking hand, she's got a deathgrip on a purple velvet Crown Royal bag.
>She holds it out to me.
>"This shit right here is what i collect my mother fuckiin tips in, I dance at club Rad, i'ma fucking stripper, and shit. The goddamn string broke so now I cant fucking..fucking..fuckinfuckin CLOSE THAT SHIT."
>About to loose my shit.
>Show here where to get a new drawstring.
>"Alright thanks, shit you're so fuckin helpful. damn."

1/?

>>6308156
>mfw

I really should be bothered by the fact that your story is completely believable.

>>6308156
>Leave her to wander about the store, she is cursing and talking to herself.
>Comes to the register, just decided to buy new bags for tips.
>Lol the bags she's getting are marketed as "Bridal Shower Party Favor Bags"
>These appeal to her because "these mother fuckers are white and they're gunna pick up good as FUCK in the black light man. They're gunna be..just fucking cool man....f-fucking COOL."
>Get her change, thought it'd be funny to just drop in to her crown royal bag on the counter, saying "Ayyyye!"
>She screams "AWWW FUCK YEAH SISTA, YOU KNOW WHAT THE FUCK IT IS!!" and high fives me, and leaves.
>handsanitizer.jpg

1/?

>>6308167
>Crackhead stripper leaves
>still more to the story

>>6308165
>>6308167
You should be bothered, because it is 100% completely true. I have a few more lulzy stories about Stephanie, she was a regular.

Also, little backstory on Club Rad (not the real name). It's more commonly known as Club Crab because there was a documented case of a girl giving a guy a lapdance, and a crab jumped in to his eye. It has been shut down and reopened maybe 6 times. It's BYOB. The girls are all drug addict whitetrash. They almost all do 'extra' work in the back, thus pointed out to me by Stephanie who said she was "too classy for that fucking bullshit." However, shockingly, their buffet is always incredibly fresh and very delicious..

I know you are probably gunna be all over this, but if their facebook is still up, I can post some pictures of their 'dancers.' It's full of stretchmarks and bad choices. They're all welfare queens and girls who had children on purpose at 15. Let me know if you're interested, I'll post some more of Stephanie.

>>6308169
I want to say no but I can't resist. Post those bitches.

>>6308169
No need to ask, just post. /cgl/ will eat this shit right up.

OP, what is your eye color, ethnicity, and do you have piercings?
>please tell me I want to make you a surprise for telling us these awesome stories

>>6308169
Oh, I didn't mean to imply you made it up. Just that I KNOW those people are out there and being reminded of that is... Troubling to say the least.

>crabs jumping into eyes
>pictures of the dancers

Please do. I will name my third child after you.

>>6308174
>>6308175
Unfortunately, they've set their profile to friends only, so I've sent a request, and maybe I'll get accepted in a bit. The only pictures I could see are random photos of hot girls found on the internet and one picture of some sandwhiches they offer. I dunno about you guys, but I'd eat this shit up....Okay, some more Stephanie.

Steph came in a lot because she prided on making her own outfits and shit for dancing. She dubbed herself the 'DIY DANCER, BITCH" and sometimes the 'SEWITMYSELF STRIPPA' which was rather appropriate. She was quite a character. I was always refered to as 'Sista' by her, and if I wasn't there, my coworkers always told me she was asking for me.

One time I saw her in the applique section wearing one flipflop and one high heel, talking to herself as usual.
>Hey Steph, whatchya lookin for today?
>She just sighed.
>SHIT, sista, just SHIT.

She purchased 2 heartshaped appliques with sequins on them. She'd always purchase appliques in doubles and curtain tassels. One time, she had a small stuffed animal, and I asked her what she planned on doing with it. She said "I got this fucking sexy as shit schoolgirl outfit, and the shit is fuckin hot. gotta play up that fuckin..fuckinfuckin INNOCENCE, ya know?"

Oh Steph.

>>6308186
More Stephanie the crackhead stripper please. I feel like i would get along with crackheads. boyfriend told me i act like one haha.

>>6308186
Guuuurl, haven't read stories this fun in a long while. You rock.

>>6308186

now i'm so imagining her as a female Jesse Pinkman

>>6308186
>gotta play up that fuckin..fuckinfuckin INNOCENCE, ya know?

Steph. Seriously? For real? Come on Steph. I don't even.

>>6308178
Ahah, I am not OP, just saw the J-fab thread, and thought I'd share some shit. I have grey eyes and I am white and I have a septum piercing and a labret currently. Totally excited by the way.

>>6308179
I so hope to get my friend request accepted by them so I can share. They are a spectacle.

However, none of the pictures I had seen before had Steph in them. This was maybe 3 years ago. I'm not sure what happened to her, she just stopped coming in after the first year. I don't think she knew how to read because I always had a name tag, and I was only 'sista' or 'pinkheaded' I kinda miss her, she was such a train wreck, and it was like...she just knew it. She cheered me up, and always added a bright spot to a boring day. Honestly, she probably died, or just disappeared I guess. The last thing she said to me was 'Sista, you're a real bitch, you know. I mean, a real fuckin bitch. None of these fuckin ladies you work with would ever take a second of their fuckin time to ask someone like me how my day was goin and you just...fuck, you're a real bitch, chick.' And she gave me a high five, and skittered out the door.

I haven't thought about her in a while, I wonder if she's alright in Stripper heaven.

I also have a creepy/scary story about someone other than Stephanie.

>>6308196
why... why do you keep posting sad ends?
man my heart can't take it!

>>6308196
She certainly seems to be a hoot.

I would like to hear the creepy one.

>>6308196
Aw, thats sad to hear. Like a stranger hobo-friend that you never see anymore :(

>>6308188
Not much more. Oh, one time, she brought in some sort of boyfriend. He had one eye, a cowboy hat, and no teeth. He spoke a language that I couldn't even closely pinpoint, but she spoke to him in it, which was a little surprising.

>>6308189
Awe gurl, thanks. Don't thank me though, thank chya gurl Steph, I'm just relaying her life.

>>6308190
You NEED to understand that I was going to say that, and relate her to his one methhead girlfriend, because they were very similar in hairstyle and dress. She was not as healthy looking as that girl, but when I saw her and her character develop I was like OMFG STEPH YOU'RE AN ACTRESS.

>>6308193
Really Steph, get it together. Lol I was really tempted to show up and watch her.

okay I'm gunna start just start another story that's short about a really bizarre and scary thing that happened. It's not too scary but it's really weird.

>>6308196
>>6308201
I think I might just name my third born after you even if you don't get those pictures.

>>6308201
Okay so I posted this story on an /x/ thread yesterday actually, because it was a thread asking for spookie stories at the workplace. So if you saw this post there, that was me.

>Rather pretty young lady comes in.
>She starts looking at fabric.
>She brings up two bolts of fabric to the counter.
>Says she cannot choose between the two to make a dress.
>Explain that they're both very lovely, and they're both on sale and that I'd give her a coupon.
>She hasn't made eyecontact with me. "Hm, alright, you've convinced me. May I have 3 yards of each please?"
>Say of course, start cutting, making small talk, asking if she has all the thread, needles, patterns, notions, etc.
>She still won't make eyecontact with me, but is happily answering me.
>She keeps her eyes focused on the fabric, and she spends the whole time touching and feeling the fabric, smiling, sortof whispering "so lovely" and "beautiful" about it.
>Finish cuts, say to her "I'm sure you'll love both of them, you won't regret it."
>She finally makes eyecontact with me.

I suppose you're right. I've only a few more days to live, I've nothing to lose. Thank you for your kindness.

>Stunned
>She walks away while saying this, couldn't say anything, wouldn't have had anything to say really.
>Watch her go to the register, and get rung up.
>As she's leaving, she turns around to face me, smiles, waves, and walks out the door.

I did not ever see her again.

Not TOO serious, but her eyes just gave me chills. Maybe like, a joke, but it was still quite strange. I have another really weird one too.

>>6308198
I'm so sorryyy, I guess it is sad! lol. I did move out of state, so maybe she's still there.

>>6308199
She was quite a young lady.

>>6308200
Very much so, it was really kinda sad. We watched the tapes and stuff, she never stole anything, never any lewd activites. Never begged for coupons, and always just appreciated when I gave her some. She was cool.

>>6308216
Wellp, I'm not going to sleep tonight.

>>6308207
Haha, you flatter me too much. You should name her Stephanie if anything!

Alright, here's the creepy story;
>Mother and son looking duo come in. Attractive people, Woman is maybe 40, son is maybe 20 and handsome.
>They bring up some fabric to be cut.
>I notice they're wearing Baphomets, signifying that they're Satanists.
>I have always been interested in learning more about Satanism and what it's truly about.
>Ask a few questions, they answer for me, very open and interesting people. Didn't try to persuade or do anything creepy, just informative.
>The fabric I was measuring was for a table cloth for an alter or something.
>It comes up like, 2.5 yards too short for the amount they needed.
>Start trying to think of alternatives for them.
>The son is looking down at the fabric, and is touching it, and looks speculative for about 15 seconds.
>He looks up and asks "Could you maybe measure it again?"
>Sure, np.
>Measure fabric.
>I shit you not, it was now the exact amount that they needed.
>I was totally speechless.
>Son smiles and looks at me and says "Ah. Well would you look at that."

Swear to God, I measured that shit just right the first time. There's no way I could have missed over 2 yards of fabric. I have no clue how that could have happened. It was probably just a really weird coincidence, but it was very strange at the time. Swear it really happened too.

>>6308012

holy
jesus
fucking
christ

>>6308221
Yeah, it was very eerie at the time, the ladies that have worked there for 30-40 years always say that the place is haunted and/or that just weird shit happens all the time.

Alright, another story, this one is about the Eldery BDSM Horse Costume Man. And yes, it is 100% true.

<3 These kinds of threads, so much!

>>6308230

What the actual fuck.

>>6308230

>>6308230
That is some legitimately spooky shit.

~The Legend of the Elderly BDSM Horse Costume Man~

>Elderly man rolls in on his hoverround
>Looks kinda like an interesting 80-90 year old dude. Big chunky glasses, a cool fedora with a feather, suspenders, cowboyboots, crazy skinny.
>Sound like a homosexual, very charismatic, and cool to talk to.
>Omgwowcoololdguy:3
>I was very wrong
>He isn't a frequenter at Jfab, so he needs help finding what he's looking for.
>Okay so he needs black yarn. Okay cool, got it.
>Obliged to ask him what it's for, I really wish I didn't have to do that sometimes.
>Says that it's for a horse he has in the basement.
>I picture some sort of antique rocking horse. Cool.
>Asks if we have any latex repair or glue for damages in latex. Say no, but tell him Gorilla Glue should work.
>Okay why would an 80 year old need to repair latex. I didn't even know old people knew that latex existed.
>Needs to get some fake fur.
>Ooookayyyy.
>He says it's for a costume.
>....
>He pulls it out of a bag in his hoverround basket.
>This man pulls out a latex body suit, it is white and brown latex to look like a palomino horse. It has a tail and mane made of leather braids, attached hooves on all fours, and ears.
>It is crotchless and nippleless.
>There are rips around the thigh area, that's what he wanted to repair.
>What.
>The.
>Fuck.
>He explains that the new stuff he's getting is for a different costume that he is repairing in his basement, and the latex glue was for the costume he had with him.
>He is talking about this shit nonchalantly, as if it's not wildly inappropriate to whip out your fetish gear in public.
>Wasn't creepy about it. Wasn't pervy. Didn't allude at what its uses were.
>Even pulls out a bridle that he made himself to fit a human head/face.

I wished Stephanie was there to give me moral support.

>>6308241
>>6308245
>>6308246
Fucking for real, I couldn't handle that shit. Was really weird what that happened.

I also used to work at a costume shop one year during Halloween working the makeup counter doing tutorials and shit. This wasn't your Halloween City type deal where it rented out a facility once a year. This shop was established about 60 years ago, and they had about 20 seamstresses making thousands of costumes that people rented. It was founded in a very old house, and very strange things happened there. i'd be happy to share some things with you that happened.

>>6308258
Continue! If you want to, that is!

>>6308266
Sure! Glad to share with you guys!

>Working at really cool costume shop built in a historical building.
>Seasonal job while I was 15.
>Was a cool job, but the building was really strange.
>Costumes would just fall off the shelves.
>You'd be standing there and costumes would start rustling as is someone ran their hand over them.
>Would hear people walking around the store way after closing when no one would be there.
>Creaking, old spiral staircase in back, would hear it moving like someone was walking up it.
>Would organize my makeup counter, would come back 5 mins later, would be knocked down and screwed up.
>Numerous back rooms filled with overstock and rental costumes, tons of mascot heads staring at you; bunnies, lions, birds, just eerie.
>ALWAYS felt eyes on you at all times.
>Would hear children's laughter in the children's section when no one was there.
>Security camera was motion activated.
>Would sometimes just start moving and following something that wasn't there. Might have been faulty tech, but it was only about 5 months old.
>motion sensed fog machines and those yard decor things would go off when no one was near them.
>doors would randomly lock and unlock, someone on staff had to have a set of keys on them AT ALL TIMES. Doors were to be left open at all times during work hours to prevent this.
>Maniquins would be left in certain position, would look again, and the arms or head would be turned or moved in different positions. That was probably the spookiest to me.

I actually left the room, knowing the maniquin head was turned away from me. I came back in about 10 seconds later, and it was faced towards me. I yelped pretty loud lol.

Weird place.

>>6308277
That... that freaks me out...

>>6308277

>>6308230
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p4QJQWgbJ6I

>>6308277
NNNN
OOOO
PPPP
EEEE

>>6308277
Well, I ain't sleepin tonight fo' sho.

ooh not a fabric store employee but I am a nail tech

>girl walks in, about 200 lbs wearing jeggings and a pink tanktop better suited for someone half her size, circle lenses and a bad, bad attempt at curling her hair and makeup that looks like a 6 year old did it
>I'D LIKE TO GET MY NAILS DONE
>i was supposed to be off in twenty minutes but meh i could use the cash and decide to stay and do it
>what would you like done, a basic manicure or enhancements
>slaps down a bunch of pictures of gyaru claws
>well she's in luck, doing ghetto nails like this is my favorite thing in the world
>okay would you like gel or acrylic miss?
>what's the difference and what will it cost?
>well basic gel nail sets are $70 and acrylic is $60, something like those will take me twice as long as a basic set so it'd be about $100 and it'll take about two hours
>WHAT THATS RIDICULOUS WHY WOULD THEY COST MORE, THAT'S RIDICULOUS $100 FOR NAILS? I COULD BUY A SET ONLINE LIKE THIS FOR $10

bitch please, you're not only paying for my time you're also paying for the $60 an ounce product i have to apply to your nails as well as my skill and ability to do those nails without making them look like cluttered and over done trainreck like the ones you showed me. she ended up leaving without getting her nails done, i hope she enjoyed her shitty press ons

>>6308286
>>6308287
It really was very noep. Excellent gif, by the way lol

>>6308288
>I just want attention
Died, lol.

>>6308292
You're the best.
I hate it when people don't think they should pay for your time.

>>6308277
Your stories make me want to get a job and stop being a privileged princess and just get a job. Is work really as exciting as you make it sound?

>ITT: amateur creative writing, part II : the fictioning

>>6308304
Ya know, it depends on what you do. I think it's mostly luck. My days are only as exciting as the people who come see me. It can be really fun, and I've got some great memories.

But really, if you can live your life being a privileged princess, be that shit. I'd love to not have to work lol

>>6308310
I promise everything I've said is completely true. I know there's no way to prove it, but it's all very real. I'm not saying you have to believe me, but I was just trying to share some fun stories of my past.

>>6308304

It's work, you really shouldn't go into it looking for excitement(but that doesn't mean you shouldn't try to make your own).
Take it from one privileged princess to another, you really should do it. Working for something yourself, instead of getting it handed to you, is the best feeling in the world.

>>6308303
Ahaha thanks, I've invested to much time, effort and money into my career to do stuff at a discount ever again.

I got this on a daily basis when I first started out and didn't have a loyal clientele

>the asian place in the mall is $30 cheaper than you and they're done in half the time
>the asian place in the mall is so much faster than the other salons
>the asian place in the mall is so much cheaper
>the asian place in the mall can do air brushing

jfc, the asian place in the mall has given so many people infections and ruined so many people's nail beds for life, they use unsafe products and procedures, and their enhancements just pop off in a week because they don't know what the hell they're doing. People have actually died from going to nail places the that one and COOL THEY CAN USE AN AIR BRUSHER, BUT THOSE ARE TOTALLY HAZARDOUS TO ME SO I CHOOSE NOT TO BE LAZY AND AIR BRUSH STENCILS ONTO YOUR NAILS, I'LL HAND PAINT THEM TO AVOID DESTROYING MY LUNGS THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

>>6308318

Everyone apreciates a good story, whether fictional or otherwise.

>>6308313

Dam gurl, youve been here a long time.

You must be at work!

>>6308326
I've actually got work in a few hours! Hahah


Thanks for hanging out with me and letting me share some of my stories and memories with you guys! Goodnight!

>>6308330
I hope something exciting happens today!

>>6308330

please use a trip, we love you

>>6308012

>>"Fucking Furries."

Thank you Jo-Ann. Now I'm off to work with a fat grin on my face.

Are there any stories from Abakhan? I play spot-the-weeb whenever I'm in there.

Just out of curiosity, have any of you ever worked in Wal-Mart?
There's got to be some good stories there.

Jo-ann Fabulous, you are just great - entertaining as fuck stories, oh man. I used to work at Joanns too and we had some crazies come in, but nothing as crazy as yours. Well done.

>>6308323
How would you advise someone to find a worthwhile nail shop like yours? I've never had mine done, but I'd like to support a place with skilled staff and health standards if I ever do.
>>6308451
>be on eight foot high ladder
>replacing old sign
>coworker meant to be helping me has fucked off
>customer comes up behind me
>shouts "EXCUSE ME MISS"
>nearly fall
>he proceeds to berate me for the fact that a department on the other side of the store is poorly stocked
>"O-okay, sir, I'll mention that to the department manager..."
>He walks off looking smug

That's my only bad story, though. Mostly it's just people who get overwhelmed by the sheer number of products we have and can't find what they want even when it's just one aisle away.

>>6308292
$100 is fairly cheap for gyaru nails in Japan, a long deco-ed set can run easily $150+ and take 3+ hours. Had a 4 hour nail appt once.
Of course they have cheap press-ons at Donki too but... it's just not the same

Thanks to this thread, I want to work at JoAnn's.

>>6308169
>a documented case of a girl giving a guy a lapdance, and a crab jumped in to his eye.
>a crab jumped in to his eye
>crab
>eye

This thread totally made my morning.

>>6308574

The man got crabs from a lapdance.

Why cant anybody see the obvious joke?

A crab jumping into a man's eye is probably what annoyed club employees tell sarcastically to people who ask why the club is associated with crabs.

Can we archive this thread, please?

>>6308250
>Says that it's for a horse he has in the basement.
>horse
>basement
Somewhere there's a twink young enough to be his grandson chained up in an old man's basement.

>>6308292
Curious, what's the difference between gels and acrylics?

I've had acrylic nails done before (they called them acrylic and I live in the UK, so terms might be different) and they wrecked my nails when I went to get them removed because I couldn't afford to maintain them. They looked amazing though.

Oh god... I want adopt Stephanie the crackhead stripper as my daughter. I don't care if she's older then me or that she would steal my PS2 in the middle of the night ;__;

Actually tearing up right now, it's making my nose hurt.
Why don't you get characters like that in Britain?

>>6308230

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TxYiBWDqa5k

>>6308683
Because they're all smack-whores instead, mate. And smack just makes you sit in a corner shivvering and shite so it's not nearly as interesting.

>>6308685

Damn, I've never met any people nearly half as interesting as this chick is describing.

Worst was probably this compulsive liar chick who claimed she'd lost her virginity to a bicycle, told me her aunt did all the voice work for Lara Croft, including voice overs for Angelina Jolie in the movies (yh rite lol), was yelling one day about she'd just been to the bathroom to use the toilet and how a baby had fallen out and was still lodged in the toilet. Once pestered me for a whole hour asking me what the longest I'd ever had sex for so she'd have an excuse to stand up and yell "WELL ONCE I WENT FOR 16 HOURS STRAIGHT WITH MY BOYFRIEND".

Gurl, you shut your mouth. You have never had a boyfriend and are clearly a dyke because everybody knows you used to finger Natalie under the table in math class.

There's this crazy-ass furry I know who I was telling /cgl/ about once as Anon. Everybody was waiting with baited breath for the next chapter but I never got to finish the story because I had to go out.

Anyway, not related to fabric store stories so sage.

I used to work at a Michaels in the framing department... I didn't deal with very many cosplayers but I did get my fair share of weirdoes.

>be at work at 10 AM
>coworker tells me "Hey Anon, some guy named Michael is on the phone for you" over the headset
>I answer phone
>"Hi Anon, when I was in the store earlier I didn't get a chance to ask you this... would you go out with me?"
>I have no idea who the fuck this is. The only customer I remember helping at the framing counter was an elderly Irish man and this caller definitely spunded American
>"Uhh... I already have a boyfriemd, sorry." This is a factual statement
>"Oh, well if you didn't would you ever go out with me?"
>"Uhh... no."
He kept talking but I just hung up. He never called back but to this day I have no idea who was phone.

On the plus side this one time these well-adjusted Japanophiles came in to get a 3 foot One Piece puzzle framed and they were pure awesome.

>>6308703
>claimed she'd lost her virginity to a bicycle

Horseback riding, riding a bike or sports such as gymnastics indeed can tear your hymen, but someone "losing her virginity" to a bike, only if the bike had a penis.... lol

sage for offtopic

>>6308739

No, the reality is far, far worse.
She claimed she'd removed the seat from the frame of the bike and proceeded to lower herself...

Fabric Land is a really annoying store. The shop staff are generally rude and their website is stuck in the 90s and can;t actually be ordered from.
I do like the stock of fabric though
http://www.fabricland.co.uk/

>>6308744
Why
Lord why
Did you ask her why she did that? Please tell me there was a good reason.

>>6308744

>>6308750
Yeah I went to the Fabricland in my dad's city to get some kind of upholstery for my old van, and the staff were all cunts.
I also had a few zips and buttons and stuff in my basket for general cosplay stuff, and I went to ask a bored looking member of staff where I could find the upholstery.
She gave me the dirtiest look ever, looked into my basket and said "Sweetie, you can't make clothes from upholstery. You want *cotton* or something, geez."
Put my basket down and went to Hobbycraft instead.

>>6308750
The Fabricland website is so awesomely misanthropic. It's not just 'retro', it deliberately goes out of its way to make your buying experience difficult and awful.

So I'm not surprised they have awful customer service.

>>6308744
What the actual fuck.... that...

I'm sure some retard has done this though so I can't say it's totally unbelievable.

>>6308756

No. You don't ask. You never ask.
I just looked at her and walked away. Nope.jpeg

>see stories about crackhead
>people saying they love crackhead
>no crackhead I have ever dealt with has ever been close to anything you'd want to fucking be around.
Loved the one crackhead who started taking a dump in the aisle of the secondhand shop I was looking around in. Full on popping a squat. Or the other time one started following me around a different store loudly calling me a racist cunt (both white, wut?) because I don't fucking know.
Grew up in a town with a HUGE drug problem. I remember the night the empty house down the road from us went up in a big fire because someone had decided to turn it into a meth lab.

>6308712

More Michaels stories for anyone who's interested because this thread is making me nostalgic:

As a framer, it was my job to clean out the bathrooms every night. Yay! Sometimes I'd encounter explosive diarrhea that had been sprayed not just on the toilet, but also on the walls. Were these women just hovering 1 foot above the toilet as they pooped?

This one time we apparently had a 600 lb gorilla use the women's bathroom because I went in and not only was the toilet filled with a massive pile of shit, the lady had somehow broken the handle off of the toilet flusher as well.

This one time this hippie lady came in and asked for help finding a display cabinet for her magik crystal collection. Without me asking she proceeded to tell me about the time she went to Stonehenge for the Summer Solstice or some shit.
>"... and right as the sun was rising, I could feel the energy paths light up - it was like *wwwwwooooonnnngggggwwwwwwoooonnnnggggwwwwwwooooonnnngggg* (she made a digeridoo-noise) and I could practically SEE the Ley Lines! It was like being on an acid trip except I was sober!"

Sorry for my typos on my last post, I'm typing from my phone.

Speaking of bad customer service

>in a fabric store a few weekends ago
>haven't been to a fabric store in months, excited to see if they have anything I can use for upcoming projects
>it's mostly a specialty dancewear, bridal, and quilting store but they've got pretty good selection
>an older woman walks up to me and says "let me see what you've got there" in a very commanding voice
>I hand her the button and coupon I have in my hand because I have no idea what else to do, feel like I'm in trouble
>she looks at the coupon and says "well you won't be getting any of this"
>huffs at me, hands it back quickly and walks away
>coupon was actually for something I wanted to buy
>wellfine.jpg

I realize that she assumed I wasn't going to buy anything because I'm a young man in a nice fabric store, but it was still incredibly rude. And I proved her right, I didn't buy anything, but that was her own fault.

I fear I was one of those cosplayers that annoyed the poor Joanns lady.
>> I had a costume I had ebayed and lost some pieces due to a move.
>> I have one boot cover and one bow that I needed to remade because I lost the others. So I used the remaining ones for a pattern.
>> Mom and I went to local Joanns to buy some fabric to remake these pieces.
>> 1st lady tried to get me to use cotton for the boot covers. I was like, "Well I don't think they would stay up with that." >> Another lady noticed we were having problems with this one and came an helped us.
>> We ended up finding some nice material (I really don't know what it is right now) but It photographed well and didn't look tacky and it wasn't satin.
>> She was kind and helped me find measure everything correctly and kept me on the right track.
>> We did have a problem finding the color match for the bows for the wrists and since I am colorblind I was having a hell of a time looking for the right color (the bows are a green/blue teal and the colorblindess I have is blue/yellow so most of the time its weird for me.)
>> My mom and I argued for a few minutes about what we should do, finally going with some color a few shades lighter then the original color.
>> ended up looking awesome.

I hope I didnt annoy the poor lady too bad

>>6308799
you should note that spoony/ebony butler is a compulsive liar and would do anything for a bit of attention

>>6308856
So, like Dakota?

>mfw I've never cosplayed before.
>I'm going shopping for it with a bunch of people that are almost like the "ita" individuals you hate.

I'm sorry guys. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry guys. I'm so sorry.

>>6308862

You should note that I have an obsessive stalker that always appears around 19:00 GMT and searches through various threads until she finds one I've posted to and proceeds to harass and abuse me for the rest of the night.

She fucking cracked.

This happened to me a few weeks ago, and it's actually about a creepy fabric store employee...

> Going fabric shopping with a friend in a store I've been going to regularly for the last few years
> Old guy working there recognises us for being regular customers and engages in conversation
> Hey cool old friendly dude!
> Guy starts talking about his personnal life. We learn he's gay and has worked in a gay bar when he was younger.
> Okay didn't really need to know that, but whatever.
> On the following days, guy seems to develop some kind of fixation on me, comments on my clothes, my body hair (or lack thereof), asks for my name and other personnal stuff... nearly ignores my friend...
> Coming back a few days after for more fabric
> Old dude follows us up the stairs
> "Hey Anon, you have a very nice coat, it turns me on"

> I'm young enough to be his grandson....

>Work at Dollar Store
>Homeless White guy missing teeth comes in periodically and always buys mini-listerines. I assume he gets drunk on them :(
>Mexican couple who obviously live in trailer come frequently. Woman looks like a bitter bitch and is short and fat. Her husband is always leering at me and once when she was browsing, he asked if I had a boyfriend. I had to resist the urge to vomit because he smelled like cigarette smoke and bad B.O. I couldn't believe he had the audacity to hit on me with his wife still in the store. No wonder she is bitter.
>Black older crackhead comes in a lot and always manages to start talking about Michael Jackon. "Yoooooo, you know Michael Jackson? Shieeeeetttt, I rememba when that nigga was Black!!! I bet y'all don't even rememba dat shitttt. Haaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!" He would be laughing and slapping his legs while saying this, like it was so hilarious. Poor thing, he seemed like a nice guy but he really was far-gone.
>Large fat White woman shopping with her short, tiny slow-looking husband. Both have greasy hair and dress weird as fuck. Get up to the register, the woman starts telling me how her husband loves teddy bears, has a collection of them and so people call him Teddy. I started to get really creeped out. Starts asking me the weirdest shit, along the lines of my philosophical and spiritual views. My heart almost leaps out of my chest when she stops mid conversation, walks around the counter where I am, closes her eyes and places her hands on my head. I am too shocked to respond and I am holding my breath while her hands stay there for a few seconds. I am scared shitless because I thought she was going to try to sexually assault me, she seemed really disturbed. Instead, she pulls her hands away and says, "There! I just gave you some good luck!" and her and her tiny husband leave. I almost have a panic attack and am hyperventilating for a couple minutes.

I have a random retail-related story that I feel the need to share here:

>be a 14 year old weeaboo with poor judgement
>go to Marshall's or some shit with my mom wearing a pink yukata and cat ears
>looking through the clothing racks, pull out a shirt
>lady grabs the shirt out of my hand and asks "Do you have this in a medium?"
>I'm 14 years old in a goddamn Japanese costume, which part of that makes me look like I work here?
>"Uhh, I don't work here, sorry."

>>6308932
Damn. I would probably never go to that store again. Did you/are you planning on telling the management? That is really unacceptable..

>>6308945
>wearing japanese costume to off price retailer

i think it speaks more about you than her
since people freq wear costumes in their places of employment the whole month of october

and you were the freak walking around in cat ears shopping

>>6308956
Unfortunately, I think the said dude is the owner of the store

>>6309111
honestly, flirt back a little and work a discount.
women do it all of the time, why can't men?

>>6309144
this^
Before i worked at Joann, there was this lipstick lesbian college student that worked there almost every day. She would flirt with me, and i would playfully flirt back and she would give me team member discounts and if there weren't any coupons left she would manually give me 40-50% off on some shit. I was really sad when i started working there and found out she wasnt there anymore...

>>6309144
haha I don't even need to flirt, he nearly always gives me discounts anyways.

>>6308620
>>6308620
>>6308620

I love this topic..so much.

This thread is amazing.

>>6308230
handy as shit. i probably shouldn't think that...

>>6308277
>>Maniquins would be left in certain position, would look again, and the arms or head would be turned or moved in different positions. That was probably the spookiest to me.

NOPE.

>>6308620

http://chanarchive.org/request_votes

only 1 more vote to go

best thread

my joanns is nothing but old ladies talking quilting with their old lady quilter employees. sad.

>>6309720
http://chanarchive.org/4chan/cgl/61582

I gave it the last vote it needed to be archived.
Now we need people to give it a good rating or it will be deleted in 7 days.

>>6308169
>a crab jumped into his eye

I'm laughing so hard it hurts

I just spend about 3 1/2 hours on this and the previous thread, reading everything.
It's 3:30AM, I'm going to sleep.

>>6308277
Or I'll just stay away... fuck

>>6310238
*awake

>>6308007
Oooh where at in Ohio if I can ask?

Here's a gem from last month. My sister went to buy yarn for a baby blanket she was making and while she's checking out some old lady saw her and asked the usual,
"When is the baby due?"
"October 13th."
"As long as it does not come on the 31st, you have my blessing."
"Why would that be? I actually think it would be a cool birthday."
"If your baby is born on Halloween, he will be doomed to hell."
"Really now, I feel the same way about you! Why would you say an innocent child is doomed to hell?"
The cashier was dying laughing, and the old lady scoffs as we then proceeded to walk out the door screaming about how unmarried my sister is and how this is her second bastard child and the baby's own older brother is a result of teen pregnancy.

>>6308808
I WORK AT MICHAELS! We actually take turns cleaning the bathrooms at night and I was almost always the one to find the horrendous shits.
>>Go to clean means urinal
>>GIANT FUCKING ELEPHANT TURD DELICATELY LAIN ONTOP OF URINAL CAKE.

>>Go into womens handy capped stall
>>Shit liquid shot from one end of stall to the other and toilet backed up with panties and toilet paper and shit, maybe even vomit
>>shit water every where that needs to be scraped towards floor drain and proceed to mop
>>Grab plunger remove all solids in awkward manner with it
>>Plunge until pretty sure the toilets unclogged
>>Flush
>>Shit water ALL OVER floor again
>>Cry in break room
>>Go back and clean toilet again and plunge until arms hurt
>>Cross fingers and flush one more time
>>Shit water floors again...
NOPE my way out and refuse to do anything else in there.

>>6308712
Where can I get this puzzle? I think I need it.

>>6308330
do you have a picture of yourself you can share? i'm interested in what you look like with the pinkhair, piercings and stuff

>>6308744

Thars rediciulus

the metal cylinder under most seat covers on bikes are usually rusty

not to mention how painful it would be to slide that thing up a vag

its really thick too, the diamater is usually about a fist or larger

>>6310725
I've worked as a part time janitor for years (paying for school) and I have never come across anything that bad. I feel for you anon

>>6309742
>chanarchive
>2012
http://archive.rebeccablacktech.com/cgl/thread/6307503
No requests needed.

>>6310725
>>6311045

Had this problem before.

Had to call in a plumber and he brought in some sort of long vacuum tubing or something that he assembled in the toilet.

Turns out is a very common problem when people throw too much toilet paper or tampons and they get stuck in the pipes and flushing will only cause the water to be regurgitated rather than being flushed down.

>>6311065
Yeah that's called a snake or an auger. I've dealt with that, at least once a month, just not the poop across the stall lol,

I've seen it on the floor, sprayed all over,outside in the playground and in the urinal, but not shot from one end of a stall to the other . . . that is both impressive and disturbing

>>6307794
Voila.

>>6311128

wow pink hair goes great with green

nice talent you has there anon

I worked for JoAnns for a short period of time this summer and quit when one of my fellow co-workers shot up drugs in the break room, then my boss berated my science degree and told me that maybe, if I was lucky, I could be a JoAnns Manager some day. (I'm in school earning a B.S. in Biology, it was a summer job.) -- I didn't stay long enough for weeb stories, sad enough.

>>6311149
:) Thanks.
Now, back to the stories!

>>6311128
That's so awesome!

I sort of would like to see a series of images to go with each story, but that's all up to the artist if they want to do it of course.

>>6311158
>would like to see a series of images to go with each story
Well good thing that's what I'm working on. Probably one per story, though.
Don't expect them to show up super fast, though.

>>6311158
Agreed. Make them into like, a Jo-Ann Fab web series /cgl/ meme thingie. Picture of your reaction face, random weeb/furry/whathaveyou, and the story typed up on the side.

idk, passing thought. would be cute.

>>6311175
Yay. Easily the best thread on /cgl right now.

>>6311175
You, you are awesome.

tl;dr

the whole thread gets out of 4.8/10

I would rate higher but you all sounds like fat bitches.

going to go fap to the world series

later faggots.

>>6311212
>Can't read unless every line is separated by a space
>Rates threads based on fap value
>faps to the world series
Remind me again why we should care what you think of this thread?

>>6311212

I think you mean "4.8 out of 10"

Not "out of 4.8/10"

(couldnt just leave that hanging..)

>>6311238
>>6311245
I can't believe you cunts actually replied to me. How long have you been using the internet.

Your'e cosplays would look better if you lost weight.

>>6311252
Your*

>Your'e cosplays would look better if you lost weight.
>Your'e cosplays

>Your'e

I don't even...

>>6311257
He's just flustered because he posted in the wrong thread.

Today I was in NYC, I take summer classes at an art school in New York, and I saw a man following an old asian woman and her little Asian grand daughter I think it was. He followed them for 4 blocks before making his move, I only saw all of this because they were all in front of me walking down E22nd street at the time I was walking down it. Anyways, the man kept getting closer and closer to them until finally he hit the woman with a crowbar and grabbed the girl. I immediately ran up to him as fast as I could and whistled for a cab and when it came near the license plate said fresh and it had dice in the mirror. If anything I can say that this cab was rare, but I thought "nah, forget it, yo holmes to Bel-Air!"

>>6311270
Nice try.

>>6311270
whyte ppl i hate u cuz

1. u all racist
2. u pale as hell
3. u fuckin stupid
4. u stereotype niggas cuz u all dumb
5. ur fat
6. u look like marshmallows
7. u look like gluesticks
8. u close minded
9. u jus straight up bitch
10. u make me sick
11. u all like fishin for sum reason
12. u all have dogs
13. u think u a good race when u ain't even human
14.u look ugly as hell
15.u a disgrace
16. u think u know bout niggas so much when u don't
17. u all got faggot ass voices
18. u speak like British ppl
19. u all gay
20. u have no place in hiphop so u shud stop listenin to it

>>6311276
tl;dr

I dont understand, the link to /cgl/ is not anywhere NEAR the link to /b/.

Thas one hella misclick.

>>6311282
Looks like somebody likes dresses and costumes!
Ohh! Can he be my bitch first?

>>6311283

>tl;dr
>this thread

>>6311282
Y'know what else is nowhere near /b/? Any sense of logic. You'd think people would realise that /cgl/ is a worthless target for trolling, but here we are again. Abandon thread, everybody.

>>6311287
>abandon thread, everybody
Welp, there go my bedtime stories.

>>6311287

But this thread was so nice and comfy, Its like Ive metaphorically taken off my booties and made some tea in here.

>>6311292
Yeah.. :(
And I was gonna make pretty pictures... (sigh)

>>6311294
The thread will be remembered. Maybe in the future you can be vindicated?

B-but the stories... and the p-p-pictures... Guys?

>>6311534
Let's carry on!

Who else has some stories?

>>6307503
I applaud you OP. I would have told them to fuck off as soon as I heard TEEHEE and HOMESTUCK
But anyway, working at a fabric store sounds amazingly fun. Anyone know the rate of cosplay shoppers to old women shoppers? Fuck, I'm going to go apply for a job now.

>making curtains for parents
>big ass windows require something ridiculous like 8 yards per curtain
>girl at JoAnn's doesn't believe me and argues with me
>"ma'am, please just sell me the fabric"
>"lolno you're wrong"
>get manager
>buy fabric
>hate JoAnn's forever

fuck the police.
this thread is beautiful and i want to see it flourish.

I worked at a H&M store for a while and there were some crazy customers..

> One of my first days there, just opened up and not very busy yet so folding some sweaters on a table.
> I am quite a tall and normal built girl, but this really big/muscular guy walks in.
> There's a homeless people house close-by and I can tell by the way he looks he's homeless.
> He walks up to me and first just asks me if I am new there, I just answer politely.
> He then grabs my wrist very firmly and asks me if I have a boyfriend and if I want to marry him and have his babies..
> I don't know why, but I just gave him a polite smile and said 'No thanks.' See co-worker run to get our manager from the corner of my eye..
> He lets go and walks off mumbling before my manager (tiny lady.. xD) comes back.

I was fine but he was quite intimidating! I heard stories that he asks that to all of the ladies working there, lol. He usually came in when we had sale and bought all our 3euro knitwear sweaters..
Apparently he was thrown out of the store once when I wasn't working there and they had to call security and everything..

Oh my god Jo-Ann Fab, please send some of your stories in to Adventures in Retail. I want to see you adorably animated.

>>6311697
looks like you had a run-in with an average /fit/izen

except the muscular part. that's not /fit/

Speaking of people coming into stores at the last fucking minute... it happened to me last night. I'm not at a craft store, and this isn't weeby but annoying as hell, so might as well share.

I'm a manager at a small retail store that sells all kinds of stuff. We're open until 10 for some reason, but all the other shops in the plaza and the one across from us closes at 9. So rarely people come in that last hour. The cashier and I are done picking up the store and we're just fussing with a few things to kill time. 10 minutes till, I go in the office to do some of the end of the night stuff. Door opens and a lady comes in. Sometimes we get last minute shoppers, whatever.

I announce we're closing twice and then again when we're closed. 5 minutes later, lady is still shopping. I find her to ask if she needs any assistance. She doesn't remember what she came in for. Fuck it, I can't do anything there.

I plug in the vacuum and start sweeping the floor. It's already done, but maybe the noise will clue her in that we want to go home. NOPE.

She's on her cellphone. After another 5 minutes of standing there on the phone, she finally comes up to the register. Buys her stuff, but realized she forgot something so runs back to get it. She takes another 3 minutes and finally comes back to check out.

Then she proceeds to tell the cashier all about her kids and terrible their school is for making them buy supplies to give to everyone. Shitty, yes, but OMFGLADYGTFO.

She appologizes, and I say all the fake customer service things while cursing under my breath.

We were supposed to be clocked out 10 minutes ago, and counting the drawers down and getting the deposit done takes about 10 minutes. Great. Usually we're out of there at 10:05, not 10:35.

>>6308196
Could you post a physical description of Stephanie so I can draw these stories?

I love this thread. Not a work story, but I just remembered something that happened to me the other day.

> in the needlecraft shop buying embroidery thread for college work
> project involves traditional Japanese embroidery (designing costumes for Gilbert and Sullivan's 'The Mikado')
> pick out four matte threads from some non-brand, and one satin skein from DMC because I need a shiny thread for my accent colour (red)
> take them to the counter
> old woman serves me
> "are you aware that that thread is shiny?"

pic related

>captcha: sighnume feel
The captcha understands.

>>6313281
she may have thought you meant to buy a matte thread and picked up the wrong spool

>>6313062
See:
>>6308156

Hers one for ya.

>Be cosplaying Ichigo in her maid dress at a local con.
>Headband is tied with ribbon which breaks right before my panel.
> Decide to run into Micheals to buy some and fix it.
>wont be hard right?
>gets in store and is looking for ribbon to match wig color.
>Random ass woman walks up and starts talking to me.
> Apparently she works at some local 'joint'.
>After 5 minutes of my friends and I awkwardly trying to slip away she reaches down.
>she
>reaches
>down
>Fucking pulls up my skirt.
>Have on bloomers and she tries to take them down too.
>Friends get in between us.
>She wanted to see if I had a good figure.
>Was considering offering me a job as a dancer, they were under manned at the moment.
>What the hell run out of the store and go to fucking walmart.
Not super scary or weird. But my comfort zone had hit dead zero.

>>6313379

...that's sexual harrassment/assault.

>>6313062
I think in the first one she describes her.
Super skinny, long black hair, pale as fuck with sores around her nose and mouth.

>>6313323
Wow, how did I forget all of that imagery?
I'll just assume she's really pale (isn't that common in drug addicts?).

>>6313385
True, but being 16 at the time and just wanting to get the fuck out we didn't look back.

Heres another one for ya.

>Manager at McDonalds. Local con is going on, but I have to work the first day.
> Tons of cosplayers coming in and out.
>Group of hetalia cosplayers come in.
>NOrmal at first, until they start taking pictures.
>Fucking putting their heads under the tea containers and letting someone else pull the handle.
>Standing on toilet seats.
>playing in playplace.
>Has told them twice now to stop being asspats.
>Keep acting out.
>Tell them to leave.
>See them walk out the door.
>Finally over!
>Wrong.
>Went to the back to bring up some boxes/refill sauce bins.
>Here Princess, my register girl yell.
>Run to the front thinking were getting robbed.
>Hetalia kids BEHIND THE COUNTER.
>WHAT DA FUQ
>One kid tells me she can be my 'papa'
>Taking photos as if they were working their.
>Have to call the police.
>worked 2 hours over waiting for all the bullshit to be delt with.
>Missed a friends panel.
>fuqdat.jpg

>>6313405
Stories like these make me ashamed to like the series. I hate fantards.
I went to a small local con once and some mammoth closet cosplaying Russia kept following me around telling me to become one with her and trying to pick me up/touch me.
No, bitch.
I wasn't even cosplaying Hetalia.

>>6313426
Well I'm a fan of Homestuck. SO I feel you.
But yes, the urge to shove one of their pimply little faces into a fryer was overwhelming. Ok so only one had pimples but still!

>>6313379
Hellllllll no.
Thank god for bloomers.

>>6313433
DO it.
Do itttttt.

And then give us more stories.

>>6312310
I feel you on that one. I'm so glad I'm done working retail (hopefully).

>Work at ghetto-ass Hancock fabric as shift leader
>Opening store shift takes out garbage, lets in employees, sets up registers and unlocks doors, etc.
>Go to back warehouse door to take out last night's garbage before anything else
>Half-awake from late night inventory the night before
>Unlock, de-bar the door
>Open and prop the door
>Head back inside
>Grab garbage bags for skip bin
>Get to door again and find homeless man in his underwear smoking in the now open storage container next to the bin
>Slam the door and lock it again
>From then on, get the guy hired for maintenance to do the morning garbage run

We called the cops on that dude repeatedly and relocked the storage container about a dozen times. He just kept snipping the locks off.

>>6308451
Sure, I've got some time. I've had a few crazy days working at Wal-Mart, mostly the fact that the neighborhood is terrible.

>>6313461
>Still working at ghetto-ass Hancock
>Well-to-do mother and terrible-twos child come in to shop
>Mother ignores her son to finger drapery sheers and consult with one of our employees
>Hear a sudden loud CRASH from decor section
>Rush over, thinking something has broken
>Turns out the kid had tried to climb the rolling fabric holders and pulled one of the (almost empty, thank fuck) tapestry fabrics down on top of him
>Kid is squalling and shrieking by now as we pull the roll off of him
>Mother rushes over
>"WHY WEREN'T YOU WATCHING HIM?!"
>Her words. Not ours.

>>6313500
Oh my god, woooowww. That little shit kid isn't the employees' responsibility it's yours, fucker. I would have just looked at that lady like she was insane and walked away like nothing happened.

>>6313500
>Two Hispanic brothers, about 5 and 8, are running through the store
>Mother is fighting with daughter, who is having a tantrum in another section
>Discover later that the boys are spraying one another with the store brand starch bottles (looks like water to a kid, I suppose)
>Big, black co-worker, only man on staff, finds them before I can get over to speak to them
>Most laid-back, soft-spoken dude I've ever met in my entire life
>"Hey, what're you two doing with those?"
>Kids stop, see him, scream, throw the bottles down and run for their lives
>Behave like angels the rest of the time they're in the store
>Floor in the quilting section, home decor section and the aisle down the center of the store is sticky for days until heavy-cleaners come in for the week

>>6313500
I fucking hate parents like her, I'm raging so fucking much.

>>6313500
wow dumbass mother, this is why they have leashes for kids

>>6313433
My friend (cosplaying fem!casual!Canada, so she was harassed also) and I are too shy in person to say anything. Unfortunately our 'mamabear' friend got sick and couldn't come that day to protect us either. QQ

/sage for not actually contributing.

>>6313514
>Indian/Farsi family comes into shop on a regular basis
>Family consists of a woman, her son, his wife, his two sisters, an adult daughter from one of the families and three children (two boys, one girl)
>All of the women except the adult daughter pick up and unwind bolts of fabric, then leave them on top of the displays
>Upwards of ten bolts at a time will be left around the fashion department while they are present
>Assume they're finished, go to straighten bolts
>Get chewed out in a language I don't speak
>Adult daughter apologizes profusely during their visit
>Little boys bully the little girl
>She ends up being pinched/punished by her mother and aunties instead of them
>Constant berating about prices and discounts from the older women in broken English


I hated that family. So much. They once left their grandmother at our store like we were a babysitter to go do other errands. She sat in a chair, clutching a bolt of fabric, until they came back, because she didn't speak even enough English to ask us to cut it.

>>6313548
>Woman comes in late to buy fabric for her daughter's dance recital after her son's basketball game
>Poodle skirt, felt, easy done
>Cut fabric for her while other staff prepare to go home
>Her son talks to me the whole time about turning into a robot
>He's really convinced that he's going metal
>Tell him that if he's really a robot, he can't leave the store, since he hasn't been paid for
>Mother plays along
>He looks really sad, but agrees to stay behind
>"Well, I don't know. Maybe we can find your barcode. If you've got one, then your mom can pay us to take you home. Okay?"
>"Oh! Oh. Okay!"
>Put a blank barcode from scan machine on the back of my hand where he can't see it, pretend to search his hair/back of his neck/behind his ear for a scan code
>"There it is!"
>Scan the barcode on my hand
>The happy look on his face made staying open a bit later completely worth it

>>6313548
>She sat in a chair, clutching a bolt of fabric
That sound kind of sad, having her family leaving her behind in a strange place.

>>6313500
>"WHY WEREN'T YOU WATCHING HIM?!"
I hate this mentality that too many parents have. They think it's not only their responsibility, but everyone's to watch over their child. If you're near them you now qualify as a babysitter. I can understand the "it takes a village to raise a child" concept for small communities, however a person you don't fucking know trying to do their job in a chain store does NOT count as your community. Here's one from my mom:
>Mom working in Jo-ann's in early 90's.
>toddler around 4 years old wanders behind the counterif he's ok and asks him nicely "are you lost? where's your mommy?"
>kid kicks her hard in her bad knee and laughs as he turns to run away
>kid gets five feet before he his bumps head on corner
>kid starts crying and screaming, his mother rushes up and yells at my mom for being careless and not watching him
>doesn't believe my mom that the little shitstain kicked her in the knee

She no longer works at Jo-Anns and we've moved away from that store since then.

>>6313569
It was incredibly sad. I can't imagine how lonely/sad she must have been, but she looked fucking terrified.

>>6313572
damn I fucked that up.
>>toddler around 4 years old wanders behind the counter, *mom wonders if he's ok and asks him nicely "are you lost? where's your mommy?"

>>6313570
>Young, fit guy comes into the shop
>Stops me in Fashion to ask for fabric
>Wants blue and red "shaggy" fabric that isn't "too hot" and see-through black material
>Also wants white and black felt
>Show him where everything is, ask what it's for
>Iron-man style fun run/obstacle course
>He and his partner are dressing up as the Yipyip aliens from Sesame Street

>>6313572
HAHAHAHAH
THAT KID DESERVED IT.

Let's see, I've had some nightmares working at Wal-Mart, and technically it's related, as we have a fabric department (I really feel sorry for them)

>Evening shift, waiting to close.
>Woman and her child come in, head straight back.
>Two minutes pass, hear what sounds to be kid screaming. Being the good employee I try to be, I go investigate.
>Mother is on her cell phone, watching one of the televisions in the electronics department, while her kid is in the process of systematically tearing open anything he can get his demonic little hands on. In this case, boxes of lego sets from about my knee down.
>Attempt to get her attention politely. Her response? "I AM ON DA FONE! YOUIS BEIN RUDE!"
>Try so hard not to facepalm.
>Takes two managers and three more employees to corral this child and his mother back to the front of the store, all the while she is shrieking assault.
>Fortunately, we have cameras, and she is forced to have to pay the store for the bastards destruction. Still had to clean it up though.

Have more that are funnier, but that one really got to me. How does anyone consider this behavior remotely acceptable?

>>6313570
awww! that's cute!

>>6313586
Trying to remember any more stories. I told the best ones in the last thread (The "I cut it myself" guy, stripper seamstress' husband, FIDO graduate, the register scam artists and a few others).

It's been a while since I quit that job, though.

Not really weab related or anything but w/e

>be 14 working at a local Giant as a bagger
>black lady in a business suit comes to register with 2 shopping carts filled to the brim with milk cartons
>she's as the front of the line but is on the phone talking about some unintelligible shit
>stays on phone for over 30 minutes (I actually counted) ignoring cashier who is obviously pissed as shit but says nothing to be polite
>line behind her forms AND dissipates multiple times because she is taking so long
>gets off the phone and suddenly just decides she doesn't want any of the milk anymore and just leaves WITH AN ATTITUDE which I can't understand because she didn't even interact with us and her conversation on the phone wasn't an argument
>boss tells me to put all 40 something cartons back
>mfw I'm like less than 5 feet tall pushing 2 shopping carts twice my weight to the back corner of the store

>>6313603
>Woman and her son come in, start digging through the remnants bin that I'm rolling for sale
>Speaking back and forth in Spanish, she hands him some fabric
>I look whiter than copier paper, but was raised in a multilingual house
>She tells him "Preguntale a la muchacha quanto cuesta." = ("Ask the girl how much this is.")
>I answer "Cual tela es, señora?" = ("Which fabric, ma'am?")
>She suddenly switches to English
>"How DARE you?"
>"I beg your pardon?"
>"How DARE you assume I don't speak English!"
>"I'm sorry, ma'am. You spoke to him in Spanish, so I thought you preferred to use Spa--"
>"I speak English JUST fine. How dare you assume otherwise."
>"It's my mistake, ma'am. I'm very sor--"
>"I just didn't want to speak to *you*."
>And she flounced off without her fabric, leaving me pretty dumbfounded

>>6313625
*cuanto

>>6313611
I don't even talk to people when they're on a cell phone. It just gets very frustrating when they aren't paying attention.

>>6308196
that's really sad...
I mean, she's a total wreck of a person
but...

>>6313625
I can kinda see why though...

To her it was more like a private conversation between her and her son, you know? And then you just jump in (whiter than copy paper) with Spanish...

Idk that's just my interpretation.

But still rude of her.

>>6313625
>Woman comes in and asks where the Styrofoam balls are
>Running cutting table, can't leave counter
>Direct her to the back of the store in the crafting section
>She vanishes into the shelves
>A few minutes pass, she reappears empty-handed
>"Did you have trouble finding them, ma'am? I can help you as soon as I finish cutting this."
>"No, it's okay. I found them. My husbands are nowhere *near* that big."
>She leaves and all I can do is wonder why she's comparing her husband's balls to Styrofoam

>>6313625

I get the exact oppisite. Fucking beaners demand that I speak spanish and try to be all suave about it.

>>"Hello"
>>"OH YOU SPEAK SPANISH"
>>"No."
>>"DOES ANYONE HERE-"
>>"No."

and they usually speak english just fine. Its the ones who refuse to speak a language they clearly know and demand everyone else speak their tacotongue that piss me off

>>racism
>>racism
>>racism

>>6313658
Possibly. My co-workers were equally baffled, though.

I dunno. I think it's a bad idea to assume that someone living in Texas doesn't speak Spanish, just as a baseline. Which I guess I should also clarify.

Especially the person wearing the manager's badge in a store located in a neighborhood highly populated by Spanish-speaking immigrants. We only had one staff member who was on the management team who didn't speak Spanish (the GM, who was useless in more ways than just that).

Either way, she didn't accept the apology I tried to make, either. She just got angrier.

>>6311042
Have you ever taken a look at a bicycle before? Seat posts are about an inch in diameter (27.2mm)

so totes possible

>>6313666
>Tacotongue
Much spittle and soda fell onto my computer because of this subtle word. I couldn't figure out why you misspelled tongue when i realized why you did it. Lol'ing like a seal

>>6313658
Not that anon, but many hispanic people around here don't speak english, or don't speak it fluently, and seem relieved when I am able to help them in spanish at my work. I also am cave-fish white, but my mother is hispanic and made fun of me until I learned how to speak spanish. They often are curious as how I know spanish and find it interesting, but I can't seem to wrap my head around someone being downright offended that you know a language they know. It's not exactly a farfetched assumption in the US to meet someone who isn't fluent in english, especially in more southern states.

>>6308277
>hearing children laughter when you know there aren't any children there
GET THE FUCK OUT
THAT IS WHAT HAPPENS IN HORROR MOVIES
well, at least there aren't any creepy maniqu--
>maniquins would be left in a position, you turn your head around, they move
FUUUUUUUCK
THAT IS WHAT NIGHTMARES ARE MADE OF
I would have felt like I was about to be brutally murdered if I were there

These stories have been very fun to read. If anyone posting in this thread has a Tumblr, they should submit some stories to Retail Robin.

>>6313685
i think its cuz you were whiter than snow and she was mostly a darker skinned hispanic. You are the white devil to her. Must not like white ppl which would explain why she didnt want to talk to you.

>>6313695
Nah, she was pretty pale herself. If I had to guess based on looks, Spaniard or maybe Argentine. I didn't get to hear enough of her speaking/accent to know for sure.

>>6313586
I would have actually loved to see that. lululul

>>6313695
>>6313695
I stated this in my first sentence, but I guess you didn't see, I'm not
>>6313670
>>6313625
I've never had someone get mad at me for speaking their language, but maybe it was some kinda kneejerk reaction of that lady that Texasanon had the misfortune of experiencing.

>>6313701
The fact that she was more European might have to do with it. I've met some people from other South American countries that were pretty light-skinned, and didn't like anyone associating them with "those" hispanic people (the Mexicans). Maybe she thought that's what you were doing.

>>6308277
Did you get any info on what the place used to be or if anything happened there?

For fuck's sake, I live in Indiana and I've been thinking about attempting to learn enough spanish to do more than figure out someone needs our only Spanish-speaking associate.

Its getting to be where knowing Spanish is becoming a very useful retail skill, no one should get offended when someone knows it.

>>6313594
>How does anyone consider this behavior remotely acceptable?
Because people that are now old enough to have kids were never brought up with the concept of accountability. And that shit is only going to get worse.

>>6313671
Yeah, but the vagina is at an angle and the seat post isn't.

>>6310404

> My younger sister was born on Halloween
> She's one of the coolest people you'd ever hope to know
> Have a massive party every year.

She's turning 18 this year. We've already started to dec out the house.
That crusty old woman is a miserable bat.

>>6313628
More like "Cunto"...

>>6313726
I went to Indiana over the summer for Gen-con. I am from TX and I'm hispanic as fuck. I didn't see many other hispanic people up in Indianapolis aside from maids/cafeteria workers/janitors. My friend and I went to some chinese place in the mall and there were hispanics working there too. I go up to order and she starts rattling off at me in Spanish. I tell her I don't speak Spanish and she rolls her eyes at me and proceeds to speak to me in broken English.

This is something I expect in Texas. I mean, we're right by the border. But in god damned Indiana? How the fuck did you get so far up the country with out learning more English? Being brown and not knowing Spanish is the bane of my fucking existence.

sage for off topic.

>in joanns back when i had first started sewing
>have a really simple dress pattern, just need help picking out a fabric
>one employee is busy cutting fabric
>only other employee is busy flirting some guy who is evidently cosplaying link
>random gay man sees my distress
>takes me around the store helping me with all the notions and picking out fabrics that compliment each other while he's waiting to get his own fabrics cut
>god bless

>>6313958

I work in a hardware department, we get a lot of construction workers.

As for the language... I have no idea. Like, I understand the indian wives who don't speak much english, because they're mostly stay at home and their husbands generally speak perfect english. And I don't give two shits really, its easy enough to gesture.

But holy cow, like, at least know your phone number and stuff. Like, if I went to a foreign country, numbers would be literally one of the first things I learned. Right up there with 'where is the toilet'

All THAT said, I'll still take guys who can't speak very good English over guys who think that because they're twice my age and redneck as fuck they can try to bully me. It's like, BITCH, tits don't mean I don't know what a fucking crescent wrench is.

>>6308602
You wanted it? You get it.

>>nightmarefuel

>>6313500
Oh man, I just got back from a Medieval Faire (sorry to change the topic, but it's an amusingly aggravating story.

>part of a viking guild.
>this includes weavers, jewelers, weaponsmiths, fighters, all that jazz. frickin legit
> our fighters are in full period armor (leather and metal) we have a performance where they literally beat the shit out of each other with wooden swords and weapons
>all the women folk create security around the area border to stop people from walking in.
>had a seven year old boy run past me and right in between the fighting pair.
>bodyslam that little mofo to the ground because if I call "HALT" the fighters would drop to their kneels ON the kid.
>basically pinning this kid down while everyone freaks out and fighters disengage (hard to see due to helmets and padding)
>frantic mother comes up and tries to get me in trouble for hurting her kid.
>calls faire security and tries to get me on assault; audience came to my rescue and got her kicked out.
>and that's my story of irresponsible parents.

Love this thread by the way.

>>6314037
OH GOOD LORD

>>6314056
Lame. Just as bad as letting kids run around in parking lots. Last week at work a woman yelled at me for almost backing over her kid. I drive a massive vehicle and she is on the other side of the building chatting it up with all the other smokers while the 4-ish y.o. boy ran out behind me. I felt god awful when I seen him zip past my mirror and then she trots over like a slug to scream some more. Sage because I mad, and OT.

>>6313845

cgl related work stories ?


I used to work at a cake shop for a few months over the spring/summer.
Our uniform was pretty much just to wear this apron over our normal clothes, your bog-standard white apron.

I wore a very casual black blouse, short black skirt, leather work shoes and thick wool black tights with this apron one day.

This day happens to be the sunday of a con.

mfw some skinny and greasy weeaboo with an unfortunate look about her, tells me I look like a 'gothic lolita, which is this uber cool fashion in japan! just like me!'.
Mfw she's wearing a pleated polyester shirt, a t-shirt and converse.

>This ita is wearing a naruto tobi mask
I was in a horrible mood from having an unpleasant colleague, the manager, on shift that day and having a shout at some dick I used to be friends with at the very same con that morning.

> ''How much are your pasties? ''
>''£3.50''
>''oh thats too espensive...how much are the cakes?''
>''£2.50''
>''uh..''
>'' There's a mcdonalds next door ''
>''proper lolitas don't eat junk food''

I dont even know how I contained my rage, I probably looked visabley angry at this point but I didn't say anything.

>''So how much do you have? ''
>''£1 ''
>Wut
>wut
>wut..
THIS IS A CAKESHOP IN ONE OF EUROPES BIGGEST TRAIN STATIONS.
JUST GO TO MCDONALDS, YO.

I blink at her in disbelief and she crab walks off to Chez Mcdonald.

Yeah, I'm a bitch, sue me.

The very same day some faggot told me that the cake is a lie, expecting me to be oblivious and confused. I hate people so much some times.

>>6314226
>''How much are your pasties? ''
>pasties

I was so confused until I figured out this was a typo. Laughing so hard.

>>6313806
It's not impossible to break your hymen riding a bike/horse, etc, but it does not involve penetration. You'd still be considered a virgin of sorts, (but there'd be no hymen for "proof").

>>6314245
That probably wasn't a typo.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pasty

>>6314037

>>6314254
They're talking about actually using it for penetration, which is what Spoony said the chick actually claimed to have done.

Also, not a fabric related story but pastry girl up there reminded me of something.

I work at an office supply store that does a lot of tech work and copy production which weirdly draws in a shitload of neckbeards and redditors. I get people constantly making references to basic ass vidya/internet culture and expecting me to play the dumb bimbo who doesn't know what they're on about. Shit's annoying.

I had a dude come in once that wanted a set of those "You park like a dick, quit doing that" cards and I giggled like a retard at him.

Sage because off topic and because none of what I'm saying is coherent as im half asleep

>>6314260

Ah, I see. I was thinking of pic related.

>>6313666
I could bitch all day about Texas, and the south. And Spanish.

I've had one major retail experience. I was the customer.
>Go to medical supply shop to get life casting supplies.
>Ask lady about prices.
>Stares at me, gets younger girl.
>Younger girl speaks broken, poor English.
>Younger girl tells woman in Spanish what I need.
>Get to register. Older woman can't ring me up, younger girl is doing something else.
>Go get man, who I assume is the owner to do transaction.
>Tells me I should speak Spanish.

IUWGDIUSHCSKJHDWOIGUIFG. No. I am a customer in YOUR establishment. You and YOUR employees should be able to communicate with your fucking customers. Fuck.

>>6314254
All right, going to go all science-y in here... Technically there is no "breaking" of the hymen. The hymen is a membrane around the edges, and if anything happens, it would get stretched. A normal hymen is completely open in the middle. To have a hymen membrane that covers the opening that needs to be broken is actually a medical condition, and not normal. Just had to put it out there, considering so many people don't know that. The traditional hymen is essentially a myth. Science!

Sage for off-topic.

>>6314438
Wow, that shop owner is fucking retarded.

>>6314438

"You should speak spanish..."

>No, you should open a shop in Mexico.

>>6313586

Iron-man and fun run do not ever go together.

>>6314438

I live in Vancouver BC and I get this all the fucking time.

We have a very high population of Hindu and Chinese people here and in the surrounding cities (Richmond especially) and that's great!

It is NOT great when I can't even get fucking served no matter where I go.

I was at the mall a few weeks ago and it was a god damned trial just to get any lunch. Both the woman serving the food and the woman at the register didn't speak one lick of English, and it took about 4 tries (no lie) to get my simple fucking order of "Noodles and Sesame Chicken, please" right. They just couldn't do it.

I'm all for people immigrating. I'm all for equal-opportunity employment and everyone getting jobs and working.

But if you are speaking DIRECTLY to the customer, you sure as shit had better be able to speak the native/majority language of the country you are in. Holy fuck.

For me, I just got my lunch order wrong and had to send it back repeatedly.
But what if someone has allergies and the people serving them aren't able to understand? People could get sick/hurt like that, and THEN who's facing a lawsuit?

>>6313625

HOW DARE YOU ASSUME THAT I ASSUMED YOU DONT SPEAK ENGLISH

YOU ARE ASSUMING THAT IM RACIST AND THATS RACIST

>>6313625

AND HOW DARE SHE ASSUME YOU SPEAK ENGLISH JUST BECAUSE YOURE WHITE

GOD IM SO OFFENDED RIGHT NOW

>>6313656

maybe she had a bet and wanted to prove something

>>6314661
dear god I work cash register at a fast food place in a mall and don't even get me started on the customers that can't speak english. so many bad experiences

>>6313671

Yeah I guess youre right.

I guess it was only the size of my fist at the time I did it.

=\

>>6308230
I find it kind of endearing that the guy - I don't even know what to call it - lengthened? the material at the cutting counter and they paid for the full amount, instead of just purchasing less and charming it to be longer at home.

>>6314661

just point to the picture

or the entry in the menu?

or basically point to whatever source provided you with the information that they were serving the dish

in the worst case scenario, look for somebody who is in the process of actually serving or eating the dish you desire and point furiously at it

>>6314691

It's in a mall food court, if there's even pictures there at all they are behind the servers and there's only pics of about 40% of the food they have

There is no menu. It's in a mall.

It's a Chinese place. It wasn't a specific dish, it was "Can I have some noodles and some chicken"

All the food was out in trays behind some glass.
And really, you don't think I tried pointing at what I wanted? I was jabbing furiously at the MASSIVE TRAY OF NOODLES but somehow I still got Sweet and Sour Pork with a vegetable stir fry.

>>6314734

this may seem silly now- but if you actually do it, you will be chuckling to yourself how you ever thought it would be silly

carry in your wallet a picture of a dish of noodles with chicken

or just a picture of a dish with noodles, then paperclip it together with pictures of chicken, veggies etc so you can mix and match based on what foreign food you feel like eating today

>>6311181
much better idea that the tripfag comic someone was talking about.

polite sage for no contribution

>>6314037
i used the same image for my broucher i had t make for health on pubic lice :')

>>6314738

This seems like a lot of work to order food in a mall in your own damn country just because the staff doesn't speak English.

>>6314791

the next time you are successfully in possession of such a dish, use your handphone to snap a photo of it

if you are ever again in a hopeless situation, just show them the photo

i agree that the onus isnt on you to facilitate the fluidity of the transaction, im just offering a practical solution - if youre a practical person

>>6311128
Oh. My. Fucking. Yes.

You are the literal best, thank you so much for that. My jo-anns polo was green, and I always wore my hair like that! Omfg, I cannot get over the fact that that girl looks JUST LIKE THAT FUCKING BITCH OH MY GOD.
you're the fucking greatest, I'm now going to lurk the thread and answer some questions because Christ, you guys made my fucking life.

<3

>>6313062
Stephanie was a very pale white girl. She had Loooooooong (down to her butt) straight thinning dyed black hair which she always wore parted down the middle. She was quite tall, but weighed less than 100lbs probably. She never wore makeup when I saw her. I think she had a nose ring. She would wear a black tshirt. It was clearly a size small or xs because it was short on her tallness, but it was super baggy because of how thin she was. It'd usually be like, an Orange County Choppers or Ozzy Osbourne shirt. No visible boobs or butt really (obvious drug usage.) She had bright blue eyes, I remember them. She would wear flared jeans, probably in the smallest size she could find, but they were really loose fitting, again because of her size (or lack there of). She had a thing for toesocks because I would see her a few times in dirty flipflops wearing stripy bright colored toesocks. I think that was actually some consideration for others because I'm sure her feet were some next-level raucheyness. Would always have her crown royal tip bag/purse gripped very tightly in her harpie-talon, very long, usually black nails. No jewelry.

Another time, with the one flipflop and one highheel, she had on yoga pants. They were decently fitted, but rather stained and old. One heel was black, and the flipflop was one of the black ones which she wore, with toesocks. This time I believe they were just pink toesocks. I think she thought she could "get away" with wearing a heel and a flipflop because they were both open-toed and black, and they made her stand with a bit of a hip-out kinda stance. I think she had on a lace cami that was a teal color, no bra, but not like it'd hold anything up anyway. I believe she had two nautical star tattoos, one over each 'boob'.


1/2

>>6314803
YOU RETURN TO US, OH QUEEN OF FABRIC RELATED STORIES.

You don't talk much about your coworkers, what are they like? Any particular standout bros/ douchebags? Regale us with tales!

>>6314826

Her teeth weren't horrible, but she was missing one on the left side. They were yellowed, but it led me to believe dental care was a little more of a priority than her fellow junkies. Saw a toothbrush in her tip bag once, which made laugh. Did she use it so often, she had to have it with her? I pictured her brushing them after each...ahem, 'performance' outside of the club. She had some sores on her neck and arms. I saw some scars that might look like old heroin trackmarks.

If you walked up to her, or she caught eyes with you, she'd immediately bust out a MASSIVE toothy grin and her eyes would get so bright and big. She might've been a junkie, but her smile was quite infectious, and your face would automatically smile back. Even in the throws of addiction, her smile was enchanting. It was kinda heartwarming to know that drugs couldn't crush that. She could have been incredibly beautiful, tall, and sexy. But I learned over time that Steph was beautiful in her own special way.

;_; y'all are making me tear up.

>>6314828
I RETURN TO YOU, MY CITIZENS. shit, i feel like a celeb, y'all are the best.

I had some cool and wonderful coworkers, and some shit ones. My main manager was very cool. She was extremely in to making sure our young girls had their work schedules set to our school schedules and extra curriculars. Instead of looking for kids with open schedules, she looked for the ones involed in clubs and sports and stuff. She liked that a lot. I really appreciated that shit.

There was this ONE GIRL though....Kimmy.

Get ready, ladies.

>>6314837

please kind sir, will you use a trip and be immortalized in the annals of /cgl/ culture

>>6314837
Kim was younger than me, she was a farm girl who was incredibly obnoxious. She was very fat and had a massive mole (like, literally the size of a quarter) on her face. She would purposefully laugh very loud and snort, pretending it was her real laugh. She was just really shitty at knowing what was appropriate to say to people. I'd hear her say shit all the time like "The only reason I work here is cuz it's the only place that hired me lol"....like, to customers. She had no friends, and was really fucking stupid. Like crazy dumb. She'd constantly tell pointless stories that no one cared about, concerning her horses and misc. livestock.

"HAHAh omg the other day, I was with my horse Dicknose (I never cared to remember their names) and I was cleaning out his stall, and I tripped over his hoof and almost fell!! Hahah, and he looked at me like 'seriously? you're dumb!' hahahah it was so funny"

There's more but I will brb, gotta go cook super for the boyfriend.

>>6307503
Here's my trip, in honor of Stephanie~

>>6314660
Anon meant the fitness/sports organisation, not the superhero.

>>6314856

Yeah I meant that too.

There is no such thing as a fun-run triathlon.

Maybe for hercules.

Fun runs are non-competetive events and include short distances where like 2km, 5km, 10km where non-runners, kids and senior citizens participate. The longest "fun run" ive seen is a 21km half-mara that allowed for 12 hours to complete.

A fun-run triathlon would be just madness, not just by the distance and time taken to complete it alone, but also because of the high risk of somebody who dosnt know what they're doing drowning.

>>6314852
I love you.

BUMP! I refuse to have this thread die while she's gone!

bump

bump

Making everyone work in retail at least once would be a good idea but unfortunately it doesn't guarantee that they will be understanding. I used to work at a call centre a couple years back. There was one woman who's transaction I couldn't complete because she was lacking the necessary information to proceed, and started complaining that no one told her and her bank never told her anything. All I could do was apologize because usually the people at the bank don't know shit about how we operate, but I couldn't very well tell her that unless I wanted to be fired. She starts telling me that I should talk to my manager to fix this problem because just apologizing doesn't help, and that she's worked in retail and knows how it is. If you've worked retail then you should know better than to complain to someone at the bottom of the food chain. We don't control the policies. If it's such a bother then making a formal complaint would do you more good, but of course she probably can't be assed to do that. I actually had talked to my supervisor about the fact that the banks never supply the right information and she told me there was nothing we could do about it. Can't say I didn't try.

sistabump

>>6316316
>she's worked in retail and knows how it is
She could've been lying, you know.
Hoping that you'd go, "Oh, well in that case, I'll help you through all the loop-holes that the dumbfuck non-retail masses have to jump through, because you're one of our kind now."
There's a website called notalwaysright.com that's full of things like this.

Also, bump.

Don't let this thread die! I wish I had amazing stories to recount but alas, I do not.

>>6317309
That would definitely make sense if she was attempting to buy something, but the company I worked for didn't sell anything; they only offered a free service. Because we deal with money, there's a certain amount of security that's needed to ensure things don't go wrong. By taking the risk of entering information that she was unsure of, she would be increasing the chance of losing a lot of money. Aw hell, what am I saying? People are too stupid to think that far ahead.

well, I worked Layaway at wal-mart last year...and there were quite a few horror stories...nothing weebish, but I had a lot of really pissy parents.
>stocking MLP toys when layaway buzzer goes off
>instantly walks back and begins helping customer
>customer "its bout time, I ave been standing back her for ages"
>realizes customer is very drunk
>"my appologies ma'am," sees she doesnt have anything with her "is there....anything I can help you with?"
>gives me a looks of disgust....I clearly must be blind or stupid or both.
>"whats it you think I want! I want a layaway!"
>kind of baffled at this answer...
>decides to explain what layaway is, makes sure to repeat everything at least once, if not more.
>finally asks if she had any other time she would like to come back to do her layaway using the excuse that we were under stocked on quite a few things that day
>she looks at me again like I am retarded.
>"no, I need it for tomorrow, I have to lay it away today"
>realizes she is under the impression that layaway means that you can take something home without paying for all of it right away...I explain that that is not the case and start to tell her exactly what it is.
>gets cut off mid sentence when she starts grunting angrily
>tries to think of something to say to calm her down seeing as she is not actually saying anything
>stands there like helpless moron waiting for this woman to stop grunting
>she leans forward and throws up a mixture of poorly chewed wendy's and vodka onto the counter
>mfw I can only look at the french fries that must have been swallowed whole
>I call for my manager
>woman stands there for a moment before wandering out of the store....she never came back to do a layaway...

>starts pulling into parking space
>some bitch comes in on the other side
>PULLS THROUGH INTO THE SPACE I AM PULLING INTO
>takes a deep breath
>turns car stereo volume all the way up
>blasts the tail end of "killing in the name of"
>shoots daggers from my eyes as she gets out of the car
>rolls down the window
>entire parking lot listens to my car screaming "FUCK YOU I WONT DO WHATCHA TELL ME!"
>sits there until it says "MOTHER FUCKERRRRRRR"
>drives off happily to find another parking space

>>6317309
notalwaysright was good but it's dissolved into
'my the customer abused me for being gay and a guy defended me and we're dating now'
'something happened and i had a really witty response and the customer was so TOLD'
'i am omg unique looking dyed hair piercings and someone commented on it'

they're all formulaic made up ridiculous stories now.

I feel really bad when we get Spainish customers and I say my little piece in English, but they don't reply, so I continue the transaction without saying a word and when were done they say "thank you" in English and walk off. Like could you at least acknowledge I said hello before you say good bye.