/cgl/ - Cosplay & EGL

-My comm is doing a few low key local meets at random small businesses, which seems cozy. Not sure if I'll attend yet, I'm still waiting for an in person crafting meetup.
-Four recent releases, the waiting makes me want them more.
-There were four bidders on this LM
2002 baby print dress auction, and I didn't *really* want to shell out $300+ for it but...her absence is the hole in my wardrobe, and in my heart.
-so happy, lolita is so much fun despite its difficulties, and my own setup and collection within it suits me well.
-unorthodox and relatively new (albeit major brand) wardrobe, but I doubt anyone would be interested. WPs feel too intrusive anyway.

This might be kinda bitchy but I guess my comm does not like me. There's only one comm because it's a small country and there are less than 10 active lolitas attending meets and interacting. When I got in it was absolutely dead. I tried posting more in the group to bring it back to live and it worked for a short time. Once in a while I like to share my recent purchases and although they don't say it I feel they hate it when I do it because they can't afford it or can't fit into it. They are always complaining about not fitting into clothes and can't support any topic of conservation other that how expensive lolita is and how every japanese lolita brand is fat phobic. I just don't get it, most of them are in their late twenties or early thirties and I did not expected this behavior from grown up woman. They have been in this fashion for more than 8-12 years and still buy from taobao resellers as hey can't bother learning how to buy directly because "SS are scary". What can I learn from them or how can I even enjoy their company if I feel judge for buying dresses? Don't know if I am the wrong one here, I might have to be more tolerant

>>10822079
Meets at small businesses are always cute! You actually get to get along with your comm and enjoy it without the pressure of big events.

May your hole be filled with the same dress for half the price anon

>>10822023
My "i lost it and it still hurts" items from the past year:
>A 2002 Meta OP, i bid on a listing for it on y!ja, right before it ended another got listed on wunderwelt for like 200 bucks. I assumed I would still win the auction so I passed on the wunderwelt because I didn't want to possibly end up with 2 of the same item. I didnt win the bidding anyways and the wunderwelt listing sold.
>Both of my HG dream dresses selling on closetchild for 8k yen and 20k yen respectively. They took the listings down for both so i can't even look at the details
Feels bad man

>>10822095
I feel you, nonny. I could have bought the Melty Ribbon Chocolate JSK Milkyfawn was selling back in the day. I think about it sometimes and want to cry…

>>10822085
I'm also from a small comm where everyone knows each other and it's the same group of active lolitas at every meet so I relate to this.

I'm currently very broke and can rarely fit into old school stuff anyway but I'm unbothered by people sharing their purchases, so if your comm members are angry that they can't afford or fit into the stuff you buy then that's their problem and there's nothing you can do. Let them seethe.
You've tried steering the conversation onto other more positive/enjoyable topics and that sadly didn't work out for you.

I guess the takeaway is that they don't all have to like you, why would you be friends with people who dislike you because of what you buy for yourself with your own money, and maybe you could only focus on becoming/staying friends with people you know you get along with and who can talk about other things than the price/fit issues of lolita.

Lolita feels incoming

I'm so happy to have my wardrobe and the progress I've made. It's not perfect or complete but it makes me so incredibly joyous. My pieces and style are different to that of others, and it makes me happy to know how specific to me the pieces are. There's something so beautiful about being able to express yourself well through clothing. I hope in future it will hold even more special pieces that I adore.

>>10822085
Would stay a lone-lita if I was in this situation, I’d say if you really want to make things work try hosting a meet and if nobody shows you’ll know they want nothing to do with you, I’d recommend making lolita friends through Instagram, I value my Instagram friends about as closely as my comm friends and my comm is very active and lovely so that’s saying something, don’t give up hope anon

>saw a herd of rufflebutts at local japanese market
>saw several scattered rufflebutts at local japanese plaza
I never know how I'm supposed to react when I see other lolitas randomly in public. I was in casual moitie and running errands so I definitely wouldn't want to stop and chit chat. How do other gulls handle it?

>>10822654
I've never seen another lolita in public so honestly, I'm not sure what I would do.

>>10822654
I think it's really normal to just be like "I love your outfit!" And move on

>>10822657
That's true. I must be turbo awkward because I never know how to follow up when someone compliments me! I usually reciprocate a polite comment back, then try to deflect back to the activity at hand.
>this is probably why people think moitie fans are arrogant

>>10822659
When someone says that, turn towards them, smile and say "thank you so much!" Then go back about your day.

>>10822654
Tell them you like their coord (if you don’t like their coord then… idk what to tell u lol). “coord” lets them know that you’re a fellow lace cryptid even if you’re in civilian garb.

If you’re feeling bold I think you could go as far as to say something like “I love lolita fashion too and almost never encounter other lolitas in this area. I know this is really random but you have an Instagram handle or anything?” Of course there’s a chance that they’re too autistic or introverted to respond in kind but that’s just part of the game of making friends as an adult; personally I think most lolitas would be excited to meet another lolita.

the OP pic makes me depressed. what a different time we're in.

>>10822689
if an ita spots you in the wild while you're both wearing lolita, you pretty much have to compliment their coord. even if you hate it with all your heart, there's no real downside to lying and saying you think they look good

>>10822695
You can still remain honest. If you don't love their outfit then don't say you love their outfit. Pick something about it that you like.
"This color looks great on you" for example.

I went to the zoo last week in some casual AP. Got to see lots of cute animals and had a good time with some non frilly friends. Someone ran up to me and asked if I was a pastel. I've never heard that phrasing before, but she recognized the name lolita.

>>10822703
Sometimes there is nothing good about it. Plus if you take too long to think about it, it'll be obvious. Lying is not some grave sin if it's to make someone feel better

>>10822695
>>10822703
>>10822728
Just say something neutral like "Oh, you're wearing lolita! I wear lolita too." not a compliment just an acknowledgement that you know what they're trying to do even if it's not good.

>>10822729
Kek what? Someone sees you and starts gushing over your coord, and you just go "yes we're both wearing lolita". My sides. Idk why you guys are so opposed to just telling a white lie to compliment someone.

>>10822729
They’ll notice, though. I used to be acquainted with a whole group of perma-itas who refused to join the local comm because they thought it was elitist and full of bullies, and one of their reasons was that these lolitas didn’t compliment their coords (or just didn’t fawn hard enough) when they encountered them at cons or on the street. My main acquaintance once showed me a picture of the “coord” she was wearing when a lolita at a con accepted her compliment but didn’t compliment her “coord” back and it was literally an anime t-shirt, mini-length petticoat (no skirt), athletic socks over striped leggings and converse sneakers. She was convinced that the lolita snubbed her because she wasn’t wearing brand.
Personally I don’t really care if perma-itas think I’m a meanie but if other anons want to be kind and encouraging, it’s probably more effective to lie.

>>10822767
Well that sounds horrible. I wear brand and I don't expect compliments, I just take them kindly if they come. Who the fuck requires people to compliment them? These itas sound worse to hang out with than to look at, and the looking was never even good.

>>10822766
Sorry I'd rather be honest to myself and not lie to a stranger even if it's a white lie? It's pretty easy to just say thanks and move on or if you need to continue talking, change the subject to something like asking how long they've been wearing lolita or if they're part of a comm, things like that. Do you lack the social skills and can't imagine how to carry on a conversation than just parroting a compliment back?

>>10822767
There's ways to be kind and encouraging that aren't lying to someone's face. Not saying you should tell them they look like shit but there's other ways to facilitate a conversation that isn't a reply of "you look great too". Not going to tell someone I think their coord is good if I don't actually think that and it's weird to expect an ingenuine compliment back.

>>10822690
It really feels like lolita is dying.

One of my friends thinks Liz Lisa is ok in current year.
Should I not talk to her anymore?

>>10822789
what's wrong with Liz Lisa? It's cute. It's not lolita, but it's cute.

>>10822659
>>10822785
here's some stuff i (autist, obviously) say if the person is not wearing lolita/their coord is irredeemable/etc so I can't say "Thanks, you too":
ask them a question, e.g."Thanks! Are you in [local comm]?" "Thanks! Do you wear lolita?"
say something about your own coord, e.g. "Thanks! I just got this JSK." "Thanks! I wanted to try coording this skirt for winter."
if you are lucky enough to be going in opposite directions, simply "Thanks!" and a cheerful smile and move on.
there's no need to lie but we live in a society and it pays off to be nice.

>>10822023
>your best recent purchase
i am SO excited for my antique beast order to ship.

>>10822797
100% polyester
lmao
if you love cancer sure its ice

>>10822809
lol ok weirdo

>>10822797
not lolita go to stupid jfash thread.

Best recent purchase is definitely scallop tartan. So excited for it to arrive!!

>>10822810
lmao enjoy your cancer and cheap clothes.
I can buy a hoodie worth more than your whole fit
hope your whole family gets raped

>>10822808
>>10822785
"Being true to your heart" kek. Imagine being this melodramatic for such a small white lie. It's called basic etiquette. Receiving a flurry of compliments and then not giving a single one back at all (or changing the subject) makes you look rude and awkward.

It's like if you see a group of lolitas and you only compliment one of them and not the others. That's also rude behavior, yet no one is going to call you out on it because it's not overt. It's just common sense that you should know not to do. (But I bet you do that, too.)

>>10822787
People want to scream forever about how it's everything EXCEPT the community but....it's the community

>>10822818
how the fuck is it dying? Business is booming, Chinese Lolitas are buying clothes up like crazy, and second hand dresses are extremely expensive now because the demand is so high. It's not going anywhere just because you got butt hurt about being posted in the ita thread. online bullying has always existed in the lolita communities in every language, this is nothing new.

>>10822821
so defensive for what? sure of course it's booming in EA, i'm talking about the western community that can't have a moment of peace bc of petty drama fuckwad, where have you been

>>10822406
I know no one would show but thank you for bringing that up anon, I never thought about it

Let's all get along folks, calm your tits

I'm very excited about not just one, but two bonnet purchases! I've been figuring out how to set my hair into ringlets as well (and have them stick), so it's very satisfying to have those items and skill in my beauty arsenal.

>>10822812
I said it wasn't lolita dumbass

>>10822816
so edgy. 2006 is over anon.

>>10822817
You really can't imagine a conversational reply to a comment that isn't another comment? Ok autist. Go read the examples of how to have a conversation above. Wanna know what else is rude and awkward and is basic etiquette not to do? Lying. It's just common sense.

>>10822817
did you read what you replied to all the way through? no one said you CAN'T compliment them back with a white lie, just that you don't have to.

that being said the western comm could do with fewer white lies. if someone's coord sucks, i try my best to avoid fake-complimenting them because validation makes itas with potential into permaitas. in the worst case this culture leads to us letting annoying e-famous people and even predators prosper in our comms because mods care more about their status and comfort than actual modding.

>>10822836
this is the egl thread fuck off

>>10822847
You are actually retarded

>>10822872
if anons ask off topic questions don't respond, newfag.

What is the best way to do a wardrobe post?

Are skirts falling out of fashion or something? I'm a poorfag so I haven't bought lolita in a good while but I wanted to get a skirt so I'm not limited to the same 2 coords every time and when I checked some of the stores I like I found there's like 4 models at most and they're usually sold out. Also, since when have lenghts changed? They've gone under the knee like pic related. Not that I'm complaining, I like this lenght, I'm just curious.

>>10822924
Skirts in general aren't as popular as they once were. Skirt lengths for classic brands (VM, IW) tend to be longer these days.
Btssb and AP are still selling skirts that are around knee length.

>>10822924
That skirt is gorgeous but whoever is doing that poor model’s makeup should consider a different career.

>>10822821
Japanese brands are dying. The ones that are still around are getting shittier in quality

>>10822924
Skirts havent been popular in like a decade. Classic has been doing longer stuff for like 4 years.

>>10822924
Sorry this isn't related but I really like the model's legwear. What brand are they?

>Are you doing something with your comm for Christmas?
We are doing a secret Santa and a group Christmas photo, I just received my SS gift and I couldn’t be happier with it, I hope whoever gets my gift likes theirs :3
>Your best recent purchase.
I’ve been on a big no buy but received a lot more Lolita gifts than I expected for my birthday, my first Boston bag and a gorgeous metamorphose set. I have a mental list of things to get after my no buy, planning on upping my Moitie collection
>How happy/how sad are you about your current situation in this fashion

I’m in the middle, I’ve come a long way with my wardrobe but being on the longest no buy I’ve ever been in and not having much time to wear the fashion has made me feel rusty in my coording skills :( I’m happy with how far I’ve come but I’m sad at my lack of ability to wear it often
>Are you already planning your wardrobe post of 2023?
I have a lot of inspiration boards and I’m dipping my toes in a couple styles outside of my comfort zone! I hope my coords are a lot bettter next year