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/cgl/ - Cosplay & EGL


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10690652 No.10690652 [Reply] [Original]

General socializing with people at cons girls, guys, making friends. What's your advice? What are some of the social interactions you have or don't have. Just general talk about it, Whatever.

>> No.10690657

I refuse to believe I have lived long enough to see a generation so socially retarded they don’t know how to say hi to the opposite sex.

>> No.10690663

>>10690657
Saying hi without consent is the equivalent of rape

>> No.10690675

It used to be easy to socialize with the homestuck fans, just cosplay as something from homestuck and then you'd be invited to their group. But when it got small enough the fans started to stay in their own small exclusive groups so that's no longer a viable way to socialize.
The same was so some extent true for MLP, but to a much smaller extent. I did meet some nice bronies at a few cons but bronies were often too normie for us to get well together.

In general though I'd say the best is probably to cosplay as something and hope people come up to you and talk about it. You can also do the same and go up to people who cosplay as things you really like.

Other than that, try to do something that's social where people just meet, like open karaoke rooms or maybe certain games that are open to all.

Honestly though, at most cons I'm alone because I'm so bad at socializing and no one likes me so I don't get a lot, especially not much lasting where I can hang out with people for an extended period of time. Maybe I'll exchange some words but oh I wish I could be taken into someone's group like I was a few times long ago

>> No.10690677
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10690677

>>10690652
I can only give you what's worked for me in the past, if someone has something they want to add, I'm good to listen. If you're a guy, its relatively simple. Vet the situation to see if the person is not busy or already socializing. Don't be that fucking weirdo that approaches someone in the middle of their fucking meal. From what I've seen, the best time to approach someone is when they're browsing and being a looky loo, cause they're in exploration mode. Contrary to popular belief don't approach them when they're sitting down, or leaning on something. It means the person is usually cooling down, or is tired. So you're likely to agitate them. Compliment something tangible, like a piece of cosplay that has a lot of detail, and work on it, but you better be genuine about it. Unless you're autistic, complete stranger can tell that you're oozing insincerity because they don't know you, so they're on their guards.

Red Flags:

1. If a person makes an excuse to get away from you "I have to the bathroom/I'm looking for my friend/I'm gonna be late for X", you're done. There's nothing to be gained from here, fuck off. They're not giving you a "I'll see you later", they're giving you a "fuck off"

2. If you smell bad, if you're an unkept filthy mess, if you look like the stereotype of that fatso with the gunt hanging under the brony shirt, don't bother. You're fucking done. You're not doing 1 on 1's spare of the moment. In fact you're doing the opposite, you gravitate negativity. When people see you they're ashamed of their hobby, I've seen it happen all the time. You're the guy that they make excuses for "not everyone into X is like that". Work on yourself to a presentable and at least normal level.

Your only tool to bond with them is that they're interested into the same shit you are, or you're a good looking 10/10 and they want to fuck you. Otherwise, if the engagement goes off into somewhere else you're in unknown territory.

>> No.10690680

>>10690657
Saying hi meaningless and anyone can say that making a conversation out of that is the hard part. When your head is thing perhaps that girl is thinking I want something if I am talking to her which I do, but how do I come off if I don't.

>> No.10690697

>>10690677
god I fucking hate the 2nd people. they're always either fat, unkempt, or dirty (or all three), and give the hobby a terrible look. the amount of people at cons that don't know how to interact is off the fucking chain. such a huge amount of total autists that sperg out nonstop and make it embarrassing to bring normie friends to.

my biggest tip is to cosplay, it's an easy conversation starter and you can talk to people in your own fandom. photo shoots are a great place to meet new people because you're all in the same fandom and you spend a lot of time just waiting around, so everyone just talks to each other. if you sew/make props, you can shoot the shit with other people that craft stuff, because everyone is always excited to discuss techniques and how they made XYZ piece.

i think the strongest connections are made from the most similar niche interests. if you're both fans of a niche series, your bond will be that much stronger than if you like, say, demon slayer (unless you're both ultra hardcore or something idk). same case with sewing and photoshoots because hardo fans usually go there.

>> No.10690724

>>10690652
I don't go to cons to socialize, but here's what I've seen work. When people approach me, it's a lot more comfortable when 1.) they're the same sex or 2.) they bring up something about what I'm wearing or "I saw you at this panel" or "I know that super niche merch you're holding".

Once had a girl come up to me noting the doujinshi I was holding while we were waiting for a panel. She went on to talk about the Love Live shirt I was wearing and asked me if I watched the latest season. After that we started talking about ships, yuri crap, idolmaster. Hit it off and exchanged numbers.

There was another time I was at a booth and I'd asked for doujins from the artist of a really niche Nitroplus game (no english translations). To my surprise, the dude recognized the game and artist. We got to talking about Nitroplus and eroge some more, and parted ways.

I don't get excited when people comment on my coords though. Nobody has successfully moved the convo beyond "that dress is cute" or "I know that brand"

>> No.10690726

At this point it's really easy.

Anyone not being fussy about masks is open to talking to people and socializing.

Wearing masks at social events might as well be the equivalent of wearing headphones, it's a sign for don't talk to me.

>> No.10690760
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10690760

>>10690697
>god I fucking hate the 2nd people. they're always either fat, unkempt, or dirty (or all three), and give the hobby a terrible look. the amount of people at cons that don't know how to interact is off the fucking chain. such a huge amount of total autists that sperg out nonstop and make it embarrassing to bring normie friends to.

I'll never understand the complete shamelessness some people have. I don't like making fun of those people. I'm outright disgusted by the lack of dignity; you should be ashamed to let people see you like that. If you're too fat, get a shirt one size about you and a belt so your flab doesn't hang out. Deodorant, super basic shit.

The people who like your hobby make it's reputation. Do people think if all bronies were giant weight lifting chads they'd have the same reputation? Would people respect the homestuck community if they weren't all mentally ill girls projecting their weird sex fetishes on eachother?

Cosplay is probably the biggest victim of this. Some of the people that do cosplay (especially the Russians) are actual professional models and photographers, and they have to associate with a giant nerd that with piss stains on his pants

>> No.10690769

>>10690652
oh snap, the ariel here is that slut who stole j scott campbell from his wife and kid right?

>> No.10690834

>>10690657
Look what site you're on. Anyway this was a thing in the 90s as well so it's nothing new. People into hobbies that don't involve much social interactions get stunted in development.

>> No.10690906
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10690906

>>10690769

I can't see the resemblance

>> No.10690935

>>10690906
nah, the slut in op never married him. her name was christy something. guess she dumped him after she drew enough clout from being his gf?

>> No.10690936

>>10690657
>say hi
>she says hi back
n-now what?

>> No.10690943

>>10690936
i am begging you to see women as people and just have normal fucking conversations with them like you would any guy

>> No.10690944

>>10690943
>say hi
>he says hi back
n-now what?

>> No.10690946

>>10690936
>>10690944
Walk away.

>> No.10690962

>>10690935
I never knew this. He's got a good face, what makes you think he got with him for clout? as far as I'm aware his art isn't even accepted by mainstream comic circles anymore.

>> No.10690967

>>10690652
I second cosplaying if you’re comfortable doing that. I do feel like pre-pandemic the social part of cons shifted and many people now attend with no intention of talking to anyone outside of the group they came with so don’t be discouraged if people don’t want to have a conversation. Attending the cosplay photo meetups or panels related to your cosplay makes it easier too.

I’m very shy but don’t mind being on my own so nine times out of ten it’s other cosplayers who speak to me and invite me to hang for a bit. I don’t really get to talk to people of the opposite sex because I cosplay from stuff that tends to be more popular with women but cosplay tends to be a better conversation starter than other stuff in person.

>> No.10690992
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10690992

>>10690652
Once I was cosplaying and a qt 3.14 asked to take a picture but then she got up next to me and had her friend take the pic

>> No.10691128

>>10690943
>>just have normal fucking conversations with them like you would any guy
>h-hi
>c-cool cosplay bro
>uh, bye

>> No.10691494

>bring weed and camera to con
>take pics of people cosplaying stuff I like
>Invite them to get high after

works on my machine but this would probably seem sus if I was a man

>> No.10692288

>>10691494
pls b in michigan

>> No.10692441

>>10690962
she would spam sketches that he made of her with the phrase "by my BOYFRIEND, j scott campbell." she was also like 20 yrs younger than him. this was pre-sjw times when people defended his art

>> No.10694480

>>10690936
You have plenty of options

"Oh you said hi back"
"This anon on 4chan said to say hi so I said it."
"I ran out of things to say"

Also if you want to end the conversation you say "nice meeting you" it is more polite than saying "what's that" then leaving when they turn to look

>> No.10694619

>>10690726
How do you get in this head space when at least 90% of the attendees are masked?

>> No.10694623

>>10690967
>do feel like pre-pandemic the social part of cons shifted and many people now attend with no intention of talking to anyone outside of the group they came with

This has been the struggle bsonce at least 2016 when normies really started to flood cons in a big way.

s2g one thing that I found works, and it takes a little bit of trust, fill a room with friends of friends. I'm an adult but I'll never room alone bc the room is these place to socialize. When I'm on the floor I'm down there for a reason. I'm running to a shoot or to see a specific person, or panel or something. When I go back to my room to decompress or best yet at the end the day it chill time. So if my friend who I trust has a friend they trust as a part of the room that's a great time to get to know someone new. There is already an established connection since we have a common friend. More often then not they like similar things already. I know this one takes some trust but it has been on of the most reliable ways I have expanded my circle over the years.

>> No.10694681

Just start a conversation with one random person a day. Then by the time the next con come around you should have you speech skill maxed out.

>> No.10694837

You have to be the dancing monkey. Come up with a list of 20 possible discussion topic questions before the con to use in a situation where the conversation runs dry and they try to get the hell away from you.

Cosplaying also helps a lot. You will get more leeway and time if you are cosplaying.

>> No.10694870

>>10692441
oh damn, what a fucking attention whore. Such bullshit too if you know he's married, you're gonna try and brute force yourself with his current wife? have some fucking empathy. And shame on him too even if there were problems with the marriage beforehand. They could've worked it out. What a shit industry. What a shame, he seems like a such a sweet guy, but I guess being one of few attractive guys in the comics cesspool went to his head.

>> No.10694882

>>10690657

i mean we were in a pandemic. also look at where we are

>> No.10694888

i'm a girl and one time i tried to talk to a cloud strife cosplayer while we were at a booth and i swear to god he hated me

i felt so bad

>> No.10694893

how do i talk to men and women i usually go to cons alone and never talk to anyone

>> No.10694899

>>10694893
>if you're a girl

ask for help, and gauge if they're good people. Then "accidentally" bump back into them

>if you're a guy

gauge if they have anything or browsing something you like, and compliment their taste. Gauge how they react to you, if it's positive "accidentally" run into them later on. If not, move on.

>> No.10694901

>>10694899
ok what if i do none of that

>> No.10698216
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10698216

>>10690652
It's generally simple to be entirety honest. I've always seen them as dedicated cosplayers and any effort is good effort for a cosplay. So I generally geek out when I see a JoJo outfit especially the not popular characters. Be genuine to their works or the amount of time they put on make up, heard that shit takes hours and sometimes glue.

I was able to take so many cool pics with a lot cosplayers doing JoJo posses, one was dressed as Kaine with an Emil head and she was super cool, only sad part was I was partly drunk and forgot to ask for her social media.

>> No.10698510

>>10698216
Was that at Ecchi Expo or something? Kind of an unusually risque costume for a normal con.

>> No.10698517

>>10690657
There is an entire generation of women today who think being said "hi" to qualifies as sexual harassment.

>> No.10698521

>>10698510
This was Colossalcon 2021. It was a fairly standard con, there was a lot more risky cosplay. People were decent and not creepin like other cons in Ohio.

>> No.10698531

>>10698521
Oh yeah that's the one with a waterpark, right? I forgot that was a thing, guess the bikini makes sense then. You don't really see as much like that here in CA but maybe things will be more wild after covid since everybody's pent up.

>> No.10698537

>>10698531
People are already letting go their pent up emotions. I had to dip out of a party early as it was turning into a orgy.

>> No.10698541

>>10698537
I doubt it'll go that far around here except maybe at those ultra-degen parties where people do meth and shit. People are way too uptight about sex in SoCal otherwise.

>> No.10704277 [DELETED] 

>>10698216
Kenji is that you my negro

>> No.10704358

When I was living in Japan. First thing was to 6se my bad Japanese to find one that spoke English. Then you start with shop talk. Basically if they made it, how much they made, how they made it, etc.

Anyone that crafts their own stuff will be very willing to talk about their crafting. Especially if you throw in some compliments to the craftsmanship.

>> No.10706526

>>10690652
>What's your advice?
If legal where you are, make sure you record everything. Otherwise you could be accused of bad things, years down the road. Remember the Billy Graham rule, always.

>> No.10706545

>>10690943
Do you have the slightest fucking idea about how men interact? You think we're a bunch of Caspers walking up to eachother with a hi and a friend request and hit it off?

>> No.10709281

>>10690936
do a 360 and walk away

>> No.10709309

>>10690652
unless you're cute no one of the opposite sex is gonna talk to you especially if you're a guy and you find them attractive, this goes both ways. Unless you're pretty attractive yourself you're not gonna have much luck having more than a minute long convo.

>> No.10709318

>>10690663
this
if the opposite sex doesn't see you as human, speaking to them is an offense to their modesty.
and it very often is seen this way.

>> No.10711172

>>10690657
It's true
I'm 28 by the way

>> No.10711174

>>10690943
One problem
I don't want to fuck men

>> No.10711175

>>10711174
Then don't. If your libido clouds your judgement THAT much where you can't have a normal conversation with a woman then you may have problems.

>> No.10711176

>>10711175
My problem is, no cosplay gf

>> No.10711178

>>10711176
Buy a fuck doll and dress her up since that's all you want her for.

>> No.10711180

>>10711178
Was already considering that
Main problem, I am still living with my parents

>> No.10711181

>>10711180
u ever consider just kys?

>> No.10711182

>>10711181
Considered that too
Currently, my life ain't that bad

>> No.10714806

>>10690724
are you in just casual or lolita when this happens or more in cosplay?

>> No.10714810

>>10690652
>Went through High School socially isolated
>Started going to AX in 2006
>See it as a chance to socialize as these are "my people"
>Manage to strike conversations in line
>Feels kind of good
>Year after my socialization skills ebb and flows
>It gets worse each year because it feels like I'm wasting people's time trying
What is wrong with me?

>> No.10714823

>>10709281
this reply never fails to make me laugh

>> No.10714854

>>10690652
I don't socialize really. Not really wanting to make friends with randos. If they're consenting and hot we can fuck or go down on each other or do hand stuff or whatever. Not trying to be a dick or anything, but I'm an honest guy and don't want to mislead some weeb.

>> No.10714993

>>10709281
Classic meme.

>> No.10719898

get a camera?

>> No.10719958

>>10690657
Dude just stop. You know people are antisocial weirdos now. Even the outgoing ones are mildly autistic.
>>10690680
You see that’s the wrong approach though. You are right, if you walk up to a woman and just start talking to her you both immediately understand why. You might as well be wearing a shirt that says “hi I’m shallow” on it. The trick is to accept that and try to become comfortable with women knowing you’re only talking to them because you think they’re attractive. But if they keep talking to you after the greetings, you should try to prove you aren’t actually that shallow by asking her stuff about herself.

>> No.10720431

>>10711175
Holy shit women are sociopaths. You all will deliberately go out of your way to dress up like cute or sexy characters from cartoons and games for attention, go to a social setting where you know you’re gonna encounter nerdy guys who like the characters you are wearing for attention, and then blame them for wanting to talk to you based on attraction. Sad that simps will never stop letting you treat them that way though. They’ll always smile and grin as you’re figuratively castrating them in front of everyone and act like they’re the one with the social disorder. Fuck the female race. You all have actual mental disorders.

>> No.10720434

>>10709318
Meanwhile they’re dressed like slutty “cardcaptors” with their tits hanging out, blaming you for getting tricked into looking at their worthless tits which no baby will ever nurse from.

>> No.10721254

>>10690657
I'm an autistic 26 year old who struggles with even basic conversations
I just want to make friends

>> No.10721297

>>10720431
Maybe they actually just like the character... Shocking, I know.

>> No.10726040 [DELETED] 

>>10690652
Just go out there with some courage and you will make some friends especially with the opposite sex, just shower and be clean

>> No.10727141

Do people still have sex with strangers at cons since covid?

>> No.10727155

>>10720431
>you’re figuratively castrating them in front of everyone
Based

>> No.10727156

>>10721297
snap back to reality please

>> No.10727159
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10727159

>>10720431
Moid moment. I can literally feel you seething through your keyboard.

>> No.10727183

>>10720431
I laughed too hard at this.

>> No.10727290

>>10690943
Most of my conversations with other guys is about how much we hate women though.

>> No.10727344

>>10727141
Yes cause I did last month at Ikkicon lol. Folks from my crew(s) were doing it throughout all of last year as well, with the earliest instance I know of being at Anime St. Louis in April.

>> No.10727345

>>10727344
how tough was it to flirt with masks on though?

>> No.10727347

>>10727345
Well, that was quick. Not gonna lie, I have literally no clue how this even happened. Started talking with someone, hung around the con a bit, went down to where all the bars are to ring in New Year's, I got showered with free drinks all night, suddenly wake up in the same bed the next morning.

As for the folks I'm hanging with, they always says "Go to Tinder and set your radius to a mile so everyone interested is obviously in town for the con too." Seems to work well most of the time, not to mention that the one where everyone scored the most, Colossal, had zero pretenses about mask enforcement

>> No.10727355

>>10690652
Convention gold is the room/suite parties. The whole purpose of walking around during the day is to find out where the good stuff is going down in the evenings.

As an example, take one of the most lame conventions I ever went to.

Kids all over the place, dafuq I am not too old but apparently too old for this shit etc.

Found a homie in the hotel bar pre-gaming. Started talking to him about the lameness and got invited to a legendary cybergoth rager with a bunch of CS fags who work for strategic air command and financial institutions. Good times, many women, almost broke my legs jumping off a balcony.

This is going on at nearly every convention you've ever gone to. Seek it out, people who throw parties like people to show up.

>> No.10727359

>>10727347
>Colossal had zero pretenses about mask enforcement
hope it's the same at Ohayocon

>> No.10727456
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10727456

>>10727355
>Convention gold is the room/suite parties. The whole purpose of walking around during the day is to find out where the good stuff is going down in the evenings.
This should be incredibly obvious, and yet somehow it isn't. When outsiders ask "Why do you want to travel so much for these events? What is there even to do?" This is always the answer. And nothing reminds you how severe weebtism gets like hearing the endless stream of people who are too scared or shy to bother with them. There's a billion other draws besides that, but the alternatives they go with are just so lame, it's incredibly bizarre. Most common ones include "Aimlessly wander the halls and briefly check things in vendor hall without buying almost any", rave (always a bust) or game room.
The afterparty anime con scene is full of people who are always willing to have a good time, laugh at retarded jokes and give away things to insane degrees. Nothing puts that in perspective like hanging with the absolute dullards of Comic Con, which truly do embody every negative stereotype about anime cons, and that's why I'm never bothering with any general media events (if I can help it) ever again.

>> No.10727760

>>10691494
Bruh I'm a woman who does this too I thought I was the only one. Game recognises game gull

>> No.10730608
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10730608

Start with asking for a picture of their cosplay or a group photo of them and their friends. Just talk from there. If you vibe we'll see what event in the con they're going to and see if they're down for you tagging along. Helps to be with a group already. Cons outside of big cities are easier to talk to people in.

>> No.10730724

>>10690652
Drink and don’t be fat/ugly as a guy.

If a girl; exist.

>> No.10733833

>be a guy
>be hot by twink standards
>get nothing but fat weird men hitting on you
w-works every time

>> No.10733843

>>10690652
I personally wouldn't want to socialize with an attention whore type cosplayer because they're not there to develop friendships.

>> No.10733848
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10733848

>>10690677
>They're not giving you a "I'll see you later", they're giving you a "fuck off"
I'm so glad someone gets this. I'm always over conscious about potentially hurting other's feelings and can't bring myself to tell them I don't want to talk to them.

But sometimes they don't get it and I'm stuck trying to figure out the best way to shake them off.

>> No.10733861
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10733861

>>10733848
To be fair, the guy you responded to had an overly hostile and aggressive tone. Even the most agreeable part, the neckbeards, is largely a non-issue as there really aren't as many as you might think. At least not as of late, because they're probably too scared to go out anyway. More to the point, I don't think the average person is this on-edge about interacting. They should be expecting it at any point, really, and speaking for myself, I welcome it almost 100% of the time.

>> No.10733874
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10733874

>>10730724
Or be a fat guy with money. Fun reminder that /cgl/ used to have dedicated sugar daddy threads before patreon, onlyfans and cashapp blew up.

>> No.10733897

>>10733874
no we didn't. girls in here are too ugly for sugar daddies.

>> No.10733915

Be attractive.

I'd say I'm a 6-7/10 in everyday attractiveness but at a con given the sample population is very skewed, I become a 9/10. It's much easier to talk to people because people innately associate attractiveness = goodness and therefore trust you more and are much more likely to see your social screw ups in a good light. For example, you might accidentally elbow a girl in the boob if you're posing. For an ugly person, this was clearly intentional for them to get even a slight feel of tits. For someone is who is attractive, its a genuine mistake because obviously attractive people have no real need to "accidentally" touch a girl's boobs. A simple apology is enough.

>> No.10733917

>>10733915
I don't trust overly attractive people. The beauty often comes with a dangerously excess of self esteem and that unbending certainty that every single person will bend to their whims. So if a ridiculously beautiful guy or girl comes to say hi I will just step back and be cautious. I prefer normal people talking to me lol

>> No.10733919

>>10733897
>too ugly for sugar daddies.
t. 0 personality salt-chan that can't bag literally a desperate old man

>> No.10733943
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10733943

>>10733897
For all intents and purposes, I accidentally got a sugar daddy and don't even give anything back. Not to be an ass, he just isn't into me...cause we're guys. Girls will buy me stuff at certain cons, too. Hell, that happened just yesterday.

>> No.10734523

A few days ago I found this thread
https://desuarchive.org/r9k/thread/66512025/
kind of fits the discussion about sugar daddies.

I used to think this was what a sugar daddy relationship was, when I first heard about it. Just having someone buy stuff for you for maybe some pictures in return.

>> No.10734530

>>10734523
not even the most desperate man is gonna pay for just pictures from a sb these days. considering how lazy and real-job-averse young women are these days, he could get actual sex in the package for the same price.

>> No.10734780

>>10690652
>white bitches cosplaying OC slut versions of capeshit

Scrote-non, didn't your mother warn you not to associate with these kind of "people"?

>> No.10734782

>>10734780
too bad your mother didn't warn you about anything while she was busy being bent over.

>> No.10735125

>>10694888
dont be ugly

>> No.10736649
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10736649

>>10690943
>just have normal fucking conversations with them like you would any guy
I do this irl and women get offended because I'm not flirting with them instead.

>>10690652
If a girl talks to you and it's not for some transactional reason (she's a waitress or a customer service person at a store or something), she might be into you. Girls don't usually talk to guys just to be buddies.

Also, become picrelated. Unless you're doing shit like groping people, any bad interaction at a con won't matter a week after the con ends, so just stop caring about what people think. Hopefully you're still young, all this advice is things I've learned over the years, but unfortunately it's too late for me to act on this knowledge now since I'll be 30 soon.

>> No.10736655

>>10734530
From what I've seen it's the opposite; on the one end you have the OnlyFans subscribers paying for tit pics, on the other end you have the findom paypigs that are spending way more to get nothing. Men have become so desperate that just getting attention has a high price tag now.

>> No.10736799

>>10733897
So what about earlier claims that several named cosplayers were escorts?

>> No.10736818

>>10736649
>Girls don't usually talk to guys just to be buddies.
I dunno man, I've got a good friend and she always reaches out to me to talk about stuff like fanfictions, RWBY/other shitty but fun cartoons and Genshin Impact, and I'm 100% certain she just wants to have a friend to chat with.
Admittedly, nearly every other girl I've been friends with since grade school has either been lesbian or simply part of a group (like clubs). I never expected to make this many lesbian friends to be honest. I suppose my sister counts too.

>> No.10736820

>>10730608
Yo is that fuckin demi-fiend??? Rad!

>> No.10736976

>>10733897
Transgender hands typed this post.

>> No.10736977

>>10736976
It's entirely possible they're just a bitter, run of the mill land whale girl (female)

>> No.10737076

Don’t talk to people you don’t know unless you want pics and leave people alone lmfao

>> No.10737274

As a 42 year old man who has never had sex and continues to goto cons, I will talk to whatever woman I want, when I want if her costume is interesting. I'll flirt and see where it gets me.

>> No.10737422

Be a photographer, gives you an excuse to start a conversation with anyone easily and lead on from there

>> No.10737797

>>10737274
fucking based

>> No.10737807

>>10737274
>I'll flirt and see where it gets me
>42 year old man
>has never had sex

doesn't sound like flirting is getting you anywhere, old man

>> No.10737815

>>10690677
>2. If you smell bad, if you're an unkept filthy mess, if you look like the stereotype of that fatso with the gunt hanging under the brony shirt, don't bother. You're fucking done. You're not doing 1 on 1's spare of the moment. In fact you're doing the opposite, you gravitate negativity. When people see you they're ashamed of their hobby, I've seen it happen all the time. You're the guy that they make excuses for "not everyone into X is like that". Work on yourself to a presentable and at least normal level.
lmao, this is so true

>> No.10737823

>>10690936
Fuck if I know, mate. I've never gotten beyond that part.

>> No.10737862
File: 116 KB, 1024x620, 00c.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
10737862

>>10737807
Let him have his fun. Pic related.
>>10737823
The answer is already right here for you: >>10736649 While admittedly not the best when it comes to giving advice, what I can say is I went from fairly shy at these events to multiple girls giving their numbers unprompted and buying me things every single time. Sometimes they're quite hot, not just by con standards. Best I can say is ease into it instead of jumping off the deep end. If you've got a group, seeing what works for any of them always helps too.

>> No.10739058

>>10733917
This is such a shitty thing to do and also adds to a suspicion I’ve had for a while. I think I am attractive but am surrounded by male friends that treat me like shit because of it and by proxy it has caused me to have 0 self esteem. When I interact with people outside of my friend group they give me weird looks or think I’m joking when I have 0 luck with girls. I had a female acquaintance that always made jokes at me saying I probably have a ton of STDs when I never get laid. It was REALLY shitty but I laughed it off. I noticed most girls are always on guard with me for some reason and I sense that and that in turn makes me uncomfortable as well when I was just being polite and then act fine around others. It’s so shitty man. The only exception is older women often will always have me personally tend to them or be very brazen with me while I’m working the fitting room and call me pet names. Or when I cashier the other cashier will say “she was into you”. Being an attractive female is easy mode, being an attractive male gets you ostracized by women your age. I’ll tell you what women tell coomers. Treat attractive people like normal human beings. I’ve only recently had female coworkers tell me I was cute and that took until I was 30. Though at 5’9 119 ibs I look 19.

>> No.10739094

>>10727456
So find a group of people to party?

>> No.10741088

>>10739058
You have extreme autism, I promise as soon as you figure out how banter works you'll be having the time of your life

>> No.10741124

>>10739058
eww

>> No.10741128

One time I was cosplaying as a shirtless Zabuza and a couple different girls came up to me and asked for a hug...does this mean they were into me?

>> No.10741180
File: 230 KB, 1292x969, IMG_20210918_185432261.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
10741180

>>10727355
>>10727456
>>10739094
Can someone please tell me how the fuck you find sources for after-parties. Con leddits? Eventbrite? Know a guy? Seems like these would be hard to find for anyone breaking into the con scene, and for the measly number I've attended I haven't heard word of them aside from the generic "dance parties" cons will usually host after 9pm by default (the ones that are on the official schedule).
Are these exclusive to anime cons or do vidya/comic cons have them as well? I'm grasping at straws here.

>> No.10741193

>>10741180
Most of those type of parties at cons are straight up word of mouth.

>> No.10741195

>>10741180
The better your cosplay is the more likely you are to get invited to the nightlife. If you’re dressed like a normie forget it. It also helps to have female friends like with any party scene, easy ticket in.

>> No.10741226
File: 205 KB, 802x1440, 1632029143782.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
10741226

>>10741195
Female friends I've heard before, but the cosplay matters? I'm surprised. I expected it to still be based on normie standards.
Does it help to do a cosplay of something everyone will recognize (that I also like of course) or is it better to strive for being unique?

>>10741193
Sure, but how do you meet the people that do these things? Do you agree that cosplaying is the go-to?

>> No.10741235

>>10720431
when people say "kill all men" they don't actually mean all men, they just mean you

>> No.10741241
File: 136 KB, 335x323, -_-.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
10741241

>>10741226
Why do you want to get into a con after-party so badly, in the first place, Anon?

>> No.10741242

>>10741241
he probably thinks you can fuck girls there.

>> No.10741244

>>10741242
Even if you can, I don't see the big deal. I've never had sex, but from what I've heard it's always better with someone you care about, so I don't really see the appeal in a night of chaotic flings.

>> No.10741247
File: 175 KB, 838x996, 1575349530906.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
10741247

>>10741180
Second anon you replied to. It's a combination of things, really. The most straightforward one is me knowing someone or them knowing someone. The vast majority of "my guys" post here and we run into each other all the time, even across the country and when neither is expecting the other to be there. Sometimes they'll post about it directly in the active thread. For an event like ColossalCon, it's almost impossible to NOT find a party because there's so many, and at all hours. If all else fails, I will brute force it-- take the elevator to the top and check for any conspicuously noisy or crowded floors. That trick can also be as easy getting in the elevator with a group hauling food and drinks, note where they get off, keep going up/down till the next stop, then return to find where they went.

>> No.10741251

>>10741241
At the cons I've been to, I've found it difficult to meet people, and the most likely place to have a significant bunch of people with similar interests that are also in their 20s is probably a con afterparty.
Also, my current group of friends isn't really the type that goes to parties, so I feel left out of what many people say is an enjoyable experience that I would want to see for myself.

>>10741242
I want to meet people that are different from my current group of friends but still share my interests, and if I happen to meet someone there that I really like then why wouldn't I?

>>10741247
Interesting. People don't mind party crashing? Or is it rare that the party you discover is actually a private affair?

>> No.10741263

>going to a con to fuck women

no thanks Ill just go to a bar, club, or hit up tinder or approach any of the million sluts I see day to day.

>> No.10741271

>>10741251
Most of the time, it's not "crashing" at all, since they want a decent turnout. Four or five people in one room who all know each other isn't nearly as interesting. Two months ago, there was one that must have crammed 40+ into a single room and there was a line outside because no one else could physically fit. I've had at the very least, minor success every time I've done this too.

>> No.10741432

>>10741251
>>10741271

Pretty much this, I know someone who organises these and they pretty much go around con talking to randoms inviting those that seem cool, people there will just assume your a friend of a friend that got invited

>> No.10741521

>>10741432
>>10741271
I appreciate the advice and experiences very much anons, thank you.
I hope I get to see you guys around some time!

>> No.10741532

How can I tell which attendees are old and which ones are still young? I am thirty years old and faceblind.

>> No.10741681

>>10714810
You're not "sealing the deal". Sounds like you just casually chat with people and don't try to hang out further and/or ask for socials to communicate again.

>> No.10741802
File: 89 KB, 602x476, 1553159201638.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
10741802

>>10741681
not that anon, but I have an extreme problem with this specifically
I'm absolute terrified of people, and of embarrassing myself, it takes my a long time to work up the nerve to even ask someone for a picture
I'm able to smalltalk with people by basically just disassociating from myself, but I'm never able to make that next step like what you're describing to let someone know I'm interested or to find a way to keep talking to them
I've gone to the same local con for 7 years and still never even made one friend from it, much less a girlfriend
I'm just completely clueless on how to escalate conversations like that and so utterly terrified of it that it makes me want to curl into a ball just thinking about doing it
I have no idea how to break out of this, I'm so horribly lonely and feel like an alien around other people

>> No.10741819

>>10741521
Well if you're doing anything this year in Florida (mostly South), Midwest or Texas this year, there's a very good chance of that. :^)

>> No.10741992

>>10736649
>If a girl talks to you and it's not for some transactional reason (she's a waitress or a customer service person at a store or something), she might be into you. Girls don't usually talk to guys just to be buddies.
That has never been the case for me. I eventually get crushes on them and try to ask them out or get to know them more. They always reject me or have bfs.

>> No.10742010

>>10741532
their mannerisms.
its hard sometimes since there are adult females that still act like children but in general it should still be pretty easy to tell which ones are just kids.

>> No.10743400

>>10741681
>ask for socials to communicate again.
How long do you have to chat for to seal the deal? Genuinely curious because I always casually chat and never thought about getting to that point

>> No.10743405

>>10741992
You're correct. Only dumbasses think "if a woman is nice to you it means she is interested". She could also just be nice. I've had men be nice to me enough definitely weren't interested in me sexually or they knew I wasn't single; they just either saw me as a little sister or a normal human who they were making conversation with, and that's fine and normal.

Good on you for asking them out to be su sure though, and I presume politely accepting the rejection. Can't know if you don't ask.

>> No.10743630

>>10743405
> Good on you for asking them out to be su sure though, and I presume politely accepting the rejection. Can't know if you don't ask
Yeah, I politely accept the rejection or realize there was no chance. I don't ask anymore though.

>> No.10743640

>>10690652
Get a post it and write your pronouns, what you identify as. When you meet a non-binary person who shares your pronouns, initiate friendship.

>> No.10743643

If you talk to someone without any desire but to have a pleasant conversation and to learn more about them then you'll be successful. Don't have a desire to make friends. Be comfortable with what friends or lack of friends you have. Learn to love it, and learn to enjoy "you". Think about a bit. There will be thousands of people there that you will never have a conversation with. Some you will converse with but that doesn't mean that a friendship will be established.

Just go to booths and events there that align with your interests. You'll most likely meet people with common interest.

>> No.10743656
File: 27 KB, 259x188, 1646570655819.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
10743656

>>10741195
>If you’re dressed like a normie forget it.
t. has never been invited to anything ever

Most of the people at those parties take off their cosplays and wear normie clothes so they can relax and don't get food on them or spill a drink in the crowd.

>> No.10743657

>>10743656
he means during the con, retard. and casual clothes aren't necessarily normie.

>> No.10743659

>>10743657
>he
Why are you referring to yourself in the third person?

>> No.10743661

>>10743659
i'm not OP. btw i'm a grill.

>> No.10743744

>>10743661
we NEED HANK HILL COSPLAYER STAT!!!

>> No.10743837

Just returned from a con. Socialising in cosplay is super easy, but the age gap has become too wide lol
Maybe I'm really too old for this shit

>> No.10743852

>>10743837
The age gap sucks. I've always been worried about it, even when it wasn't as bad as I thought, but now the age gap is simply too large.
For some reason, only people who are exactly 17 years old are interested in socializing with strangers, and you just can't do it when you are in your 30s. People who are 18 or older have no interest in talking to people they don't know, so you can't look for someone older either.

>> No.10743856

>>10743852
You got the age so perfectly right it's uncanny lol

>> No.10743999

>>10743643
Gonna have to agree with this one. That became no more evident than when I went into one event with the expectation of being alone the whole time, and ended up crossing paths with the most wonderful person I've ever met through some incredibly unlikely circumstances (in part, related to this board). When I was talking with two guys about this mindset of finding what you always wanted when you're not looking for it, they both immediately sprung up with visceral disagreement. Funny for at least two reasons, seeing as how it worked for me instantly invalidates any "you're wrong" claims, and getting so agitated, so quickly with me trying to show even slight humility would suggest highly bruised egos.

>> No.10744150

>>10743643
Dunno about this, I'd sooner just say "set your barometer for success at having a fun convo". It's completely fine to want to make friends, just try and have that come naturally.

>> No.10744292

>>10741242
>these incels want after parties so they can finally have sex
>tfw I enjoy the nightlife cause theres always someone with coke and I also bring my estasy pills so we just roll through the night while everyone else throws up from bein alcoholics

Sex is literally a waste of a good afterparty.

>> No.10744309
File: 150 KB, 704x480, all our splendor.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
10744309

>>10744292
>have sex
>end up filthy (if it's good)
>be physically tired (again, if it's good)
>can't fuck anyone else unless you want to roll for a higher RNG for an STI
You got the right of it. If I'm comitting to getting laid that means I'm absolutely done. You can have so much more energy spent doing platonic things and not getting a strangers con swear on or in you.

>> No.10744343

>>10744292
am I literally the only one who doesn't like drugs or alcohol

>> No.10744365

>>10744343
Not liking alcohol is logical. Shit makes you fat and the hangover sucks massive dick.

Drugs is chill and you can do it once every few months if you want. Side effects is you sleep like a baby when the effect wears off and wake up fresh the next day.

>> No.10744366

>>10744343
No, I hate them too.

>> No.10744368

>>10744365
>when the effect wears off and wake up fresh the next day.
That doesn't apply to everyone and it depends on the drug. I don't know what my mental condition is, but weed gives me insane night terrors and shivers.

A few glasses of mead though, that's comfy town.

>> No.10744372

>>10744365
weed can destroy your dopamine production and has estrogenic effects. >>10744368
you probably have dopamine issues.

>> No.10744380

>>10744372
I hate weed. I take stims. Rarely.

>> No.10744431

>>10744292
I'm really surprised you're brave enough to trust modern coke dealers. Were you able to get testing kits to verify authenticity or do you just not worry about it being laced with fentanyl?

>> No.10744436

>>10744431
Buy from the dank net. Not from tyrone in the alley.

Also I didnt know americans put fucking fentanyl on their stims. What a shitheap things have become

>> No.10744448

>>10744436
The poster I replied to said they were using coke that someone else brought with them.
Everything is laced with Fentanyl nowadays, and if I ever do opt to use drugs that aren't just mary jane, I'll have to remember to bring a testing kit.

The other side of it, is that more often than not I have plenty of fun at parties, party drugs are obviously fun for a reason, but I'd generally think it makes a lot more sense to not expose yourself to such a high high for fear of making regular parties not live up to it.

>> No.10744521

>>10690652
Just say hi etc. Things should flow naturally from there, and if not then there's no chemistry and you move onto the next person. Don't force conversation if there's none to be had.

>> No.10744529

>>10744521
sounds like pic related
>>10737862

>> No.10744530

>>10691494
are you in Florida

>> No.10744568

>>10743852
The age gap sucks because most people over 30 already have well established circles of friends. You need an in at this point and randos at a con probably aren't going to give you this unless you're extremely personable. It's not impossible though. Two of my best friends I met at local cons. Also, if you're looking for good after parties, Artist Alley vendors throw some of the best.

>> No.10744684

>>10743643
This guy has got it.

Good friends/companions come naturally.
Imagine if some sweaty fuck approached you with "Goal : recruit friends" on his brain as opposed to just talking shit and having a good time, just for the moment.

>> No.10744689

>>10744684
>Imagine if some sweaty fuck approached you with "Goal : recruit friends"
Sounds like a Jehova's Witness.

>> No.10745208 [DELETED] 

>Get in a decent conversation and hang out at an event with new person
>Out of nowhere asks your age

Is this a common thing? It seems like I run into this at least 2 or 3 times during each con followed by a "wow you look really young" when they find out that I'm 4 to 8 years older. I'm assuming that they are just trying to get a good idea about what topics to discuss given that I have been asked that question by people ranging from teens to asexuals.

>> No.10745210
File: 8 KB, 250x250, Questions.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
10745210

>Get in a decent conversation and hang out at an event with new person
>Out of nowhere asks your age

Is this a common thing? It seems like I run into this at least 2 or 3 times during each con. Which is immediately followed by a "Wow.......you look really young" when they find out that I'm 4 to 8 years older.I'm assuming that they are just trying to get a good idea about what topics to discuss given that I have been asked that question by people ranging from teens to asexuals.

>> No.10745212

>>10745210
I ask because I personally don't like associating with people under 25. They have an entirely different mindset and even if things are nice right now, I know it won't carry into the long term. Better to keep the pleasant company in the instance than exchange contact information for a very disappointing drift off.

>> No.10746630

>>10745210

I have mad babyface and don't see people much due to homeschool+neet job, so I'm basically incapable of identifying someone by age.

I usually ask it with this in mind to make sure I'm actually talking to someone my age and not a kid; and if you're hitting it off, a lot of kids won't tell you their age

>> No.10746634

>>10690657
I got some bad news for you champ :(
>>10690936
Well seeing as how you're in a convention you can start by complimenting her cosplay or just talk about whatever merch they got or whatever :/

>> No.10746636
File: 156 KB, 1280x422, viridian.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
10746636

>>10690944
He only has it half right>>10690946
What you should do is just walk away....TO THE NEXT PERSON! :D
You basically have to go up to everyone you can at the convention and say hello even if it leads to nothing. Eventually you'll find a person who will either take the initiative and carry the conversation or you will walk away much more confident from all the people you met.
>>10721254
Find other autistic people. You might someone to relate too :)
>>10711172
Have you tried being 29? :>

>> No.10747802

Damn, back in the early '00s people actually met their significant others at cons. You used to see a bunch of marriage proposals at cons.

>> No.10747805

>>10747802
It's still not unheard of. There was a Spider-Man who proposed during the "unofficial" rave at last year's Metrocon. My first con ever also had a Vegeta x Bulma wedding, and another last year had Cloud x Aerith.

>> No.10747920

>>10739058
Stop caring what people think of you. They sense your beta energy. Start not giving a fuck and I guarantee men will want to be around you and women will want to fuck you.

>> No.10747922

>>10741128
It's their way of being able to hug their character like/ crush without actually committing or going through the awkwardness of asking for cuddles or something more sexual.

>> No.10747924
File: 208 KB, 923x633, 1429230955226.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
10747924

>>10743405

>> No.10747927

>>10747920
>NO NO NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND IT'S NOT THAT SIMPLE I *HAVE* TO CARE CAUSE IT'S REALLY IMPORTANT THAT I DO THAT AND DON'T DO THE BLABLABLABLAFUCKINGBLA
I've tried to help them. Without exception, none of them were willing to listen, and they're not half as hopeless as the lot you find around here. But hey, you're willing to try and seemingly more optimistic in your outlook than I am. My mentally with this type is sink or swim. Learning by example is more effective than saying "Do it this way." "Doing it this way" can be 100% correct, but irrelevant when they don't even consider applying it.

>> No.10748275
File: 382 KB, 890x640, 1628107100904.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
10748275

>>10747927
So something I've worried about in the past is that asking out someone in a friend group could really fuck things up if another woman in the group finds out. Nobody wants to be a second choice after all.
The other worry is that it could ruin my reputation with others and have them think I'm only a part of that group/hobby as a means to pick up people. The answer is I'm there for both but mainly just to have fun, but good luck explaining that to anyone once the other rumor spreads.

I'd think that just plain "not caring" is not the greatest course of action, and that it would make more sense to approach it with some level of grace, but I also find that this means I'm waiting for the "perfect moment" which will more than likely never come unless I try to force it. I basically have choice paralysis and end up doing nothing, worried about fucking everything up while simultaneously wanting to kick my own balls for being this much of a retard.

>> No.10748280

>>10744343
nope, hate people whos idea of a good time is destroying their ability to think straight

>> No.10748355

>>10737274
based ugly bastard, you've cucked half the men in this board

>> No.10748364

>>10748275
Same as dating people in any close circle you can at most go through 2/3 people before it makes the entire group awkward.

In terms of hitting on people in said group, if you see them often you can gauge if they're into you and even casually hang out outside the group together before committing to dating.

Extended circle of a hobby doesn't count as long as isn't multiple people from the smaller sub group.

>> No.10751550

I'm a woman in my late 20s who's thinking about going to a con solo and try to go to an afterparty. Do you think it would be worth it at all? I don't mind going to things alone like I have done with some music festivals, but I think the biggest issue would be finding a place to sleep. Or I could just go do something sober and try to stay up idk.

>> No.10751558
File: 25 KB, 464x463, autism.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
10751558

>>10690652
I maintain a consistent level of mildly drunk through most of my time at a con, and then use that liquid courage to make small talk with people. Though to be fair, working as a bartender has essentially strong armed me into becoming less autistic.

TL;DR: Just get a nice buzz going and go with a few friends, ask randos to take their photo.

>> No.10751618

>>10751550
Pretty much same situation, if you live local and are fine with being sober or staying up late enough to head back home that might not be the worst idea. But if not you might just want to try and find a cheap place to crash either in the hotel or somewhere as close as you can get. Worse case scenario for me is I'll pass out in my car or something.

>> No.10751622

>>10751618
>But if not you might just want to try and find a cheap place to crash either in the hotel
How could you find a cheap place to crash in the hotel? I thought all of the rooms would be booked for that weekend, no?

>> No.10751624

>>10751622
I've personally never ran into the main hotel being fully booked, but there should be like cheap motels or maybe an Airbnb you can get for the night. What con are you planning on going to?

>> No.10755606

Socializing in general just seems so hard these days since it can be easier to be alone and just do your own thing. Making friends or any form of relationship requires upkeep and sometimes it feels like it takes too much effort.

>> No.10755634

>>10747924
>2013
Wondered if incel-kun survived the Plague.

>> No.10755636

>>10755634
Probably did since he was at it his house all the time anyways. Possibly looks like Ted Kaczynski now.

>> No.10755685

Take Lexapro for anxiety pussy

>> No.10756087
File: 56 KB, 554x554, cirno-boliviana-memes-39d731b582370a29-a4c76add1b0a5302.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
10756087

Something I struggle to understand is how various scenes can have such a different reaction me. Around my area in the Florida scene (and to some extent Texas), people come up to me frequently (maybe even constantly) for pictures or just to talk for a bit. At cons in either of these states, it's also guaranteed someone will recognize me even if I don't remember them. Plenty will give me their phone numbers, wanna hang out off site after, buy me free stuff, offer to let me stay in their hotel rooms, whatever. ...And yet in spite of all that, I do not in any way get this kind of experience with the Midwest crowd. Most won't go so far as to even ask for a picture. If we're cosplaying from the series or if we talk a bit doesn't seem to improve the odds much. I'm not doing anything different at all here, so it's not me. And yet if it WERE me, it'd make things a lot easier to figure out. My only guess is some areas are generally friendlier than others. Weirder still is the vast majority of these people in the places that like me are moderately to extremely attractive, while I am not particularly.

>> No.10756123

>>10690657
Bruh this is what a generation raised by strong independent women who don't need no man looks like. I would know I was raised by one of them

>> No.10756179

>>10756087
There's your answer. Not attractive.

>> No.10756234

>>10756179
I literally just said the attractive people are the ones most likely to approach first and ask to hang out or give me their numbers

>> No.10756265

>>10756087
people in the south are just generally outwardly friendlier. most of the people i know from the midwest are a lot more aloof, unfriendly, and honestly they can be miserable, boring people. hence all the emo bands that originate from there kek

>> No.10756294

>>10744568
>most people over 30 already have well established circles of friends
Yup, we sure do haha

>> No.10756387

>>10743852
Is the age gap thing really this big of a deal? Is this more of a modern thing? It doesn't seem that extreme to me.

>> No.10756388

>>10756387
For some podunk con in the middle of nowhere, probably. At huge ones, especially after dark, kiddies and teens are almost nonexistent and the ones who are there stick out immediately.

>> No.10756389

>>10756388
I see. I've only ever lived in moderately nig cities that are close to colleges so I've never seen it. Do people evem care that much about a 30 year old and an 18 year old though? I feel like I've seen something close to that commonly enough, maybe I'm just bad at guessing ages though.

>> No.10756393

>>10756389
Big not nig lmfao

>> No.10756416

>>10756389
>Do people evem care that much about a 30 year old and an 18 year old though?
People who don't matter, sure. It's something I literally just said in the "How to get cosplay gf" thread like an hour ago. Ignore naysayers. they disappear. I'm 30 myself and am not "actively seeking" 18 years old, but if put in such a scenario I would never step away based on worthless (potential) comments from the peanut gallery

>> No.10756425

>>10690657
Well, if your (our? I'm fucking 30 and my peers have been unbearable my whole life) hadn't had serious unironic social dialogue about "is saying hi to women a form of harassment" broadcast to the current generation for their entire childhood (my entire adolescence), maybe shit wouldn't have become like this.

>> No.10756426

>>10720434
Fuck.
I mean I can't even blame you at all did writing it, but god that's so fucking depressing. Shit. Fuck. God damn it.

>> No.10756910

>>10744368
Different effects, but it doesn't work right on me either. I smoked enough in my younger days to know that it isn't just a tolerance thing or anything either. It really sucks living in SoCal and being this way since it's such a central part of the culture here since legalization and people get fucking weird when you don't smoke.

>> No.10756915

>>10756425
Yeah I'm 35 and had the same thing, it was drilled into me from an early age that pretty much any sort of assertive behavior toward women was inappropriate and creepy. I was lucky and was attractive and interesting enough as a young guy that a few women made enough of the moves to keep me from ending up as a lifelong incel but I've never gotten over that feeling that I'm doing something incredibly wrong when I try to initiate stuff myself and women stopped doing it for me by the time I got out of my last relationship in my late 20s so I've just been screwed ever since and doubt I'll ever have sex or a relationship again.

>> No.10757433

>>10756265
It probably comes down to this, honestly. My opinion of the Midwest scene was already pretty low, but watching that Anime Central thread go further and further down the toilet with every passing day shows maybe I was wrong to assume they're frumpy and lame. More like disgusting, heinous and vindictive

>> No.10757440

>>10756910
I also live in socal and never smoke anything. I've never been offered it though. I'm just not socially active enough I guess.

>> No.10757444

>>10756915
>Yeah I'm 35 and had the same thing, it was drilled into me from an early age that pretty much any sort of assertive behavior toward women was inappropriate and creepy.
I'm almost at your age but I didn't go through the same process, still, I had the misfortune of being absurdly shy and antisocial so it's not like I ever took advantage of it anyways. But I notice that in general, after the MeToo movement took off, I've been usually a lot more cautious of approaching women.

>> No.10757864

>>10690657
you make it sound like girls can't talk to guys which is not the case

>> No.10757979

>>10741247
What if you're not at the con hotel or the con isn't at a hotel?

>> No.10757991
File: 530 KB, 810x810, 1623064100776.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
10757991

>>10757979
>What if you're not at the con hotel
I barely sleep during these events so I got all night to spare if I have to. My most successful venture for this was C2E2 and I was already in town, so I didn't need a hotel but the dude hosting was a gull and just told me I should stay over anyway
>or the con isn't at a hotel?
Those aren't worth going to desu (because they won't have any party scene at all).

>> No.10757993

>>10757991
My favorite/primary con is at the Javitts, which isn't a hotel and most of the hotels are some distance away. There are a lot of afterparties, but they're commercial events.

>> No.10758001

>>10757991
I'm the kind of person who needs 8 hours of sleep every night and will physically collapse if they don't get it.
Also, how exactly do people have parties in hotel rooms? Unless you have a deluxe suite it's too small to really dance in. I guess you could have an orgy on the bed?

>> No.10758006
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10758006

>>10757993
>they're commercial events.
If that means "tiny watered down $15 cocktails" I don't think it really counts desu.
>>10758001
There's raves if you wanna dance (done two in a row now that also had unofficial raves outside). Con parties are for just getting drunk with weebs and letting loose. Never been to one with an orgy, even if they've gotten fairly sexual before.
>Unless you have a deluxe suite
Oh those exist too. My first one ever was in three adjoined penthouse rooms. The aforementioned C2E2 one was as well. Plus, for Colossal there are the two story house-sized villas.

>> No.10758013

>>10758006
I don't drink, and what does "letting loose" mean?

>> No.10758017

>>10758013
It can mean plenty of things-- playing games, screaming karaoke really loudly or just chatting up random strangers like they're your best friends in the world

>> No.10758021

>>10758013
nta but I've been at con parties where people got naked, never actually seen anything sexual happen beyond that though. (Aside from people leaving to go do it somewhere else obviously.)

>> No.10758025

>>10744431
Weeb with coke, I don’t lace my shit with anything. Just wanna forget. Have a good time at TX cons. I just wanna share good vibes desu. (plug in Austin btw)

>> No.10758026

>>10758025
>plug in Austin btw

>started 2022 in Ikkicon
>absolutely nothing else there until Colossal Texas
What a waste of a city with arguably the best con potential in the entire country

>> No.10758028

>>10758026
True. Im just trying to get by as a plug. Tbh I just party all the time and cosupuray in my free time. I dont even hook up wwww. I'm slowly dying from cancer and if my friends or mutuals find their significant others. It makes me happy deep down knowing I did something good, y'know?

>> No.10758087

>>10690943
you literally can't even answer the question lmao

>> No.10758211

>>10758026
>What a waste of a city with arguably the best con potential in the entire country
Liberal cities have the worst. Conservative cities, too. Austin unfortunately is too phased out for a good con. Also too many homeless there.

>> No.10758258
File: 13 KB, 320x240, moe sad.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
10758258

>I like cosplaying as bad boy ikemen/villains
>15-16yo girls keep flocking to me
>I'm like, almost twice their age

Are these bitches self aware or something? how does one avoid them. I don't want to get a bad reputation.

>> No.10758269

>>10758025
>>10758026
Kinda off topic, but how's the DFW scene these days? It's looking like I might be moving to FW after being stuck in SoCal for a while and I'm really hoping the scene is better, my ex was a Dallas native and used to talk about how great the cons there were but that was a long time ago.

>> No.10758430

>>10690652
Here's the real shit. Applies not just cosplay but all of life itself. Let me break it down into two points: Master these things and while I can't promise you you'll never be socially awkward again, you will be much happier socially.

1) Mind

Internally, you need to get your shit together. Your mindset when talking to a woman should never be "What do I say to her to get her to hook up with me." If you live by that, you've already lost. You need to genuinely just want to enjoy the company of the people you talk to. This is both honest and a good way to ensure your own happiness. This way, you never lose. 95% of the time, a girl isn't going to sleep with you. They call it "getting lucky" for a reason. So if your standard is "I need to get laid", then 95% of the time, you're going to feel shitty and miserable. That's stupid.

Furthermore, it's all about casting a wide net. Meet people, meet the people those people know, develop your relationships and your network. Cute girls make friends with other cute girls. If they like you and you become friends, you may get to meet her cute friends and continue on from there. Be available, but not pushy. You're just trying to have a good time.

If you get into an APPROPRIATE situation to ask someone on a date. Someone you're familiar with, or you're in the right setting, or you're in a bar, whatever. Don't think. Just act. Say hi, be nice, compliment them sincerely (Don't be lazy you shit, put some work into the nice things you say) and then go for it. If it's a yes, it's a yes, congratulations. If it's a no, oh well. Move on.

Some of you are going to say "I'm autistic/ADHD/whatever" and then say you can't do it. If you're not just making excuses, then go to a therapist immediately. Get medicated, get counseling, get to work. You get out of therapy what you put into it. It's work, not magic. Do your best. What's important is that you TRY. And you keep on TRYING. You will fail. That's okay. Keep going.

>> No.10758431

>>10690652
2)Body

Exercise/Dressing nice/smelling nice/self-care is NOT NEGOTIABLE. Do you hear me, you motherfucker? I don't care if you need to lose 5 pounds or 50 or 500 pounds. EXERCISE. You're biologically programmed to do it. If you don't do it, you're denying your evolutionary strengths that you have been born with. EVERYONE can do it. People WITHOUT LEGS can do it. You can too.

BUY NICE CLOTHES. Buy shirts WITH BUTTONS and COLLARS. Yes, it's expensive. IT'S EXPENSIVE BECAUSE THESE ARE NICE THINGS. WOMEN LIKE NICE THINGS. You will feel better, you will look better. T SHIRTS SUCK DON'T WEAR THEM ALL THE TIME. ( I mean it's a con so it's a little different but you're trying to get girls to like you RIGHT?)

Wear deodorant. ALL THE TIME. Shower EVERY DAY. Shave EVERY DAY. More than once if you must! You don't need expensive cologne, but invest into yourself. A good razor will treat you well. Find a nice smell. Wear it.

Do this shit and life will be much better for you. Remember

MOVIES, ANIME AND TV ARE NOT REAL. HAPPY ENDINGS DO NOT HAPPEN. YOU MUST MAKE YOUR OWN HAPPINESS OR IT WILL NOT HAPPEN.

Thank you for reading. I'm wasted.

>> No.10758434

>>10758269
Not as off topic as you might think cause what I said right above about "three adjoined penthouse rooms" party was at Anime Dallas 2020. Unfortunately, I have not been back since but can tell you one thing: Dallas is overloaded with events. Maybe more than any city in the entire country. I'd venture to guess by the time this year is over, they'll have run 20 conventions or at least adjacent events.

>> No.10758448

>>10758258
i commend you for not being a pedo/trying to fuck the little girls

>> No.10758453

>>10758448
just being around them is weird as shit with their tiktoks and stuff.

It's like I'm in a whole different planet, even befriending em makes me feel like principal skinner.

>> No.10758533

>>10758258
>be villain
>girl who looks like she's in high school starts talking to me
>don't put much effort into it cause she's probably underage
>find out she was actually 25
>we fug that night

cons are weird

>> No.10760224

>>10758258
Go to Like 2/3 of the countries in Europe and they'd all be legal.

>> No.10760241

>>10760224
Tbf aoc in most all USA is 16 so s m a s h t h a t h i g h s c h o o l p u s s y

>> No.10760250

>>10721297
nah >>10757842

>> No.10760296

I'm a fit dude going to Colossalcon in Ohio for the first time. What are the odds I get laid if I do a shirtless cosplay there?

>> No.10760298

>>10760224
>>10760241
he's trying to say that he's NOT interested in little girls at all, not just because it's illegal. goddamn pedos

>> No.10760352
File: 62 KB, 500x576, 1618198557315.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
10760352

>>10758453
Teen fetishists can argue about legal age world wide but the problem isn't the number, it's the mentality.

I do NOT want to be near a 15 year old girl in any capacity. They are children with world views so tiny it's like talking to a 9 year old at times. I do not want to associate with them, I do not want to fuck them. Even by 18 they can still act like high schoolers experiencing being away from a parent for the first time in their lives.

>> No.10760370
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10760370

>>10760298
old enough to bleed means she's biologically old enough to breed brother

>> No.10760718

>>10760370
Not really. Some girls can begin menstruating before their pelvises are finished growing. And pregnancy with an underdeveloped pelvis can lead to serious complications.

>> No.10760723

>>10760370
Sure thing, Muhammad.

>> No.10760726

>>10758258
No teenagers are self-aware.

>> No.10760968

>>10760352
>They are children with world views so tiny it's like talking to a 9 year old at times.
Most adults are like this. There's very few smart people in the world.

>> No.10761188

>>10760352
I would agree if fucking everyone under 35 didn't have a teenage level of maturity these days.

>> No.10761614

>>10690675
>but bronies were often too normie for us to get well together.

What kind of person are you? No offense. Just never heard someone say something like this before.

>> No.10761961

>>10758430
>>10758431
I'm so glad I don't bother.
>uh waste your money on overpriced clothes hoping eventually someday someone will love you
Haha no
>you'll feel better
*worse
>shave every day
I'm also not shaving my beard, I'm male, feelsgoodman, actual sex let alone the mere prospect of sex can never compare to a life of freedom
>invest into yourself
Classic consoomer meme I'm investing into my portfolio instead

>> No.10761966

>>10761961
this is the biggest cope i've heard yet.

>> No.10761988

>>10761966
I'm still not going to do what you tell me
Ahahah
Ugh sorry I'm just not going to!

>> No.10762552

>>10720431
...how is be wrong?

>> No.10762766

>>10761614
This is a question I may not be able to give a proper response to, but the thing is that bronies are a lot like normies. They form their groups, they do regular normie style social interaction.
At cons I'd sometimes meet individual groups of bronies that I could spend time with at that con only, but the larger community, while I was active in it, it also felt like they didn't want me there and I wasn't included in things that other regulars were.

So what kind of person am I to make this the case? I don't know, maybe just the generic friendless person. But I'm quite shy, and can be pretty negative, that may be part of it.
I didn't experience any of the inclusiveness that bronies often say they experience, could be that my local community was more normie than average (I did experience that feeling of being included in the Homestuck community), or it could be that I'm worse than the average brony who was friendless until they discovered MLP and suddenly they made many friends and were included.

>> No.10762767

>>10760296
none if you dont know how to talk to people

>> No.10762796

In my experience the easiest and most convenient way to socialize with people at cons is if you're waiting in line. Whether it be for a panel, food, or picking up a badge, you're literally stuck with the person behind or in front of you. Of course read the room. If the person seems tired or in any sort of bad mood don't engage. Most of my successful interactions with strangers at cons have been while waiting in line for something.

>> No.10763011

>>10690652
I'm quite abnormal looking and my resting face is naturally 'shifty', so people in this sort of setting (especially girls and failed-normies) typically assume the worst and want nothing to do with me no matter my approach. My advice in this case is to go with a group or just with someone else as a pair. Even if it's a rando from a forum or something, having obvious company will genuinely alter the way you're perceived and open up the door for chatting and making friends. If you're a weirdo on his own, you're an evil scary no-life pervert freak. If you're a weirdo with a friend, you're Quasimodo.

>> No.10763019

>>10760296
just sign your name on the orgy-form at the entrance bro

>> No.10763152

What’s a good trap cosplay that signals
“I’ll suck ur dick in the bathroom if u ask nicely”

>> No.10763157

>>10763152
Hideri rom Blend-S

>> No.10763171

>>10690657
>Say hi
>Get ignored
Hmmm

>> No.10763195
File: 871 KB, 1888x2000, 1652607952544.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
10763195

>>10763152
can never go wrong with the classics

>> No.10763486

>>10690943
women don't like being treated as men in interactions, they get offended/break down nd cry or think you're sexist against them

>> No.10763509

>>10691494
works well for men hanging with other men as brs and stuff. weed, alcohol, etc.

>> No.10763513

>>10690657
it's not that they're too incompetent, it's that zoomer boys have been taught that if you try to approach a woman with any less respect and deference than was shown the byzantine emperor then you're probably a rapist

>> No.10763551

>>10741195
ive gotten invites to parties or fond them and i was wearing normie clothes

>>10741241
orgy rooms/hookups/drugs/crash space. you kow the regular reasons

>> No.10763552

>>10741532
check for ID before you fuck them if you can,, lol

>> No.10763560

>>10744684
i mean anon, that is a goal for me at cons. making new friends!

>> No.10763562

>>10745210
Yes. People ask me a lot they think I am noticeably younger than I actually am.

>> No.10763569

>>10763551
No parties worth a damn invite people random people dressed like normies, especially if they're men. This community is still 90% sweaty ugly guys

>> No.10763572

>>10756389
lets say theres a bunch of drama over "is this relationship legal and do I care" lol

>> No.10763575

>>10760352
Women who are legal aren't any better, I'm sorry to tell you his anon.

>>10758453
funny as tiktok isnt that bad

>> No.10763579

>>10761614
someone who was into MLP said the bronies at anime cons were too "autistic" forhim and the ones at MLP cons were normie or something. Or it was the inverse i forgot

>> No.10763581

>>10763569
Hmm, yea I was more than a random person people knew me but I've gone around asking for parties and did the 'search for it' thing someone else mentiooned here >>10741247

Buuut, furry cons were like that and the larger ones like furfest have part lists posted on telegram as well as you know hand of mouth.

Normie clothes as in regulr clothes for the time of year as you dont have a hotel so aren't presenting as a congoer (i.e. winter, you're wearing a sweater and a skullcap or something). Summer you're in shorts and a t-shirt or something. I guess anime stuff would technically 'not' be normie clothes but it's close enough (as shit like gundam or whatnot is popular enough to be normie shit)

>> No.10763617

>>10690943
No male human in the history of the species has interacted with women in the same way they do with other men.

>> No.10763622

>>10690943
i dont ever speak to men unless i need anything from them.
and so i treat women the same way as men, i only seek what i want. directly.

>> No.10763642

>>10690663
The Internet has ruined you.

>> No.10763729

>>10763152
Succubus with crotch tattoo and uwu bulge should do the trick.

>> No.10763739

>>10690652
As for friends, just involve yourself in shit and don’t be horrible to be around. Cosplay and game rooms are probably the easiest because you just naturally interact with people in those settings. You can also strike up a conversation with people in the dealer’s room over the merch. If you keep doing social events you’ll probably run into the same people over and over and build camaraderie.

If you’re trying to get a girlfriend/boyfriend/get laid, it’s a bit harder. It’s actually easy as fuck to get laid at a con if you’re an extroverted party person, but if you are you aren’t looking for my advice here. It can be tricky for introverted folks. In general, I would follow the same rules, more or less, and if you build a rapport with someone you’re attracted to, ask them to join you for something after the con closes for the night. Ideal situation is probably going to be drinks at the hotel bar with your friends, who hopefully also have brought people and have at least a somewhat stable boy/girl ratio (unless y’all homo, I dunno what you folks do). Can really help to have friends in relationships since they are already balancing that out. Afterward if everyone hits it off, invite everyone back to the room or whatever to play a board game or some shit and go from there.

<c>

>> No.10763741

>>10763739
<c>

Two points though:

1) Whether you’re looking for friendship or more, be presentable. I recommend being in decent shape because it’s the biggest step toward other people respecting you, but even if you’re overweight, you can do fine if your clothes fit and you’re well groomed. That means you showered, but also that your hair is decent, you don’t have a ton of acne, you shaved if you’re a dude etc. this is extremely important in all social interactions of any kind. You don’t need to be perfect but you need to rate enough points on the “put together” scale for people to want to interact with you.

2) If you’re just trying to get laid and aren’t already a party person, recognize that there is no magic tone of voice you can use when asking the cosplay model “ey u want some fuk” and get a positive response. Be ready to lower your standards, be ready to strike out, be ready for the other person to change their mind. And whatever you do, never come off like you need it. Just go with the flow and be easy to be around, that’s your best bet.

Altogether, for both friends and more, don’t be desperate, don’t be clingy and follow one person around everywhere, know when you’re being told no, and try to be fun to be around. A lot of it will come naturally just through interacting with people.

>> No.10763742

>>10690943
I feel like this is bait but

1. A lot of people seeking assistance in this area also have problems interacting with people of the same sex. The guy who creeps on you following you around trying to win your favor also does the same thing with dudes he wants to be friends with. I can’t count how often I’ve had to find excuses to dip away from dudes (and occasionally women) like that. They’re lonely because this doesn’t come naturally to them and that makes everything worse.

2. As someone who does not have problems getting dates and even as a guy who is not a standard 4chan misogynist, it is simply not the same to talk to someone you are attracted to. This goes for anyone you want to like you, not just sexual attraction, but with sexual or romantic attraction there is a baseline difference in your brain chemistry that is going to change how you act from a fundamental level.

“Talk to women like you talk to men” is not helpful advice to these people. Better general advice would be to get comfortable with talking to people in general, do a better job of presenting yourself, and improve your self esteem.

>> No.10763743

>>10727290
Unironically find other people to hang with, that’s brain poison

>> No.10764047

>>10763729
Unironically a womb tattoo is a pretty good indicator that you’re looking for dick

>> No.10764075

>>10764047
Honestly one of the hottest things. Womb tattoons make tramp stamps look like promise rings.

>> No.10764084 [DELETED] 
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10764084

>>10756087
Sequel to my navel gazing post here: It is absolutely the Midwest crowds that are the problem. Confirmed it on Saturday at a party in Florida which was not con-related even if most of the most there attend. Everyone I recognized was happy to see me, got on great with the ones I didn't and nobody was gossiping about me or each other (nonstop with the Midwest faggots).

>> No.10764086
File: 373 KB, 2104x2208, 7w0pycn2ib451.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
10764086

>>10756087
Sequel to my navel gazing post here: It is absolutely the Midwest crowds that are the problem. Confirmed it on Saturday at a party in Florida, which was not con-related, even if most of them there attend when we have one in the area. Everyone I recognized was happy to see me, got on great with the ones I didn't and nobody was gossiping about me or each other (nonstop with the Midwest faggots)

>Verification not required.

>> No.10764111

>>10690657
I can say hi, talk to, and befriend people easily, but habe no idea how to flirt and feel uncomfortable even trying after spending the last decade reading women online talk about how uncomfortable it makes them. I've been asked if I'm gay a bunch of times because unless I meet a girl off a dating app I feel like I'm being imposing by even trying.

>> No.10764538

>>10756087
>>10764086
There's a mentality in the northern areas that the default state of Other People is not wanting to be bothered or interact on the day-to-day. The problem is this mindset becomes so normal that when an event that calls for or encourages social interaction takes place people have no practice with it, and difficulty breaking out of the habbit.
When I end up in the south people smiling at me or greeting me really throws me off, because where I'm from the only people who walk up to you and start a conversation are either about to ask you for money, or try to sell you something.

>> No.10764551

>>10742010
Examples?

>> No.10764556

>>10690652
I need this so bad. I’m at acen right now and looking for someone or a group to chill with.

>> No.10764564

>>10756087
It's because people in the south will smile to your face and shit talk and stab you in the back.
At least the Midwesterns are upfront that they don't give a shit about you.

>> No.10764687

>>10690652
Just make small talk or some kind of comment/joke about their cosplay. Pretty simple.

>> No.10764694

>>10764556
Look on the bright side, when you come down from covid thanks to your visit, you'll have a few doctors and nurses to talk to, assuming you don't get intubated.

>> No.10764696

>>10690652
Got advice for an old morbidly obese pile of shit that can't walk 20 feet without dying?

>> No.10764697

>>10764696
workout

>> No.10764974
File: 943 KB, 640x800, vaccinereaction.webm [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
10764974

>>10764694
>Just take the vac- ACK!

>> No.10765167

Is 25 too late?

>> No.10765174

>>10765167
I hope not. I'm hoping 30 isn't.

>> No.10765176

>>10743852
I socialize more as an older person than when I was younger. I just stopped feeling so much anxiety as I aged. But then the reverse occurs where younguns don't really wanna talk with me because of that gap.

>> No.10765440
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10765440

I haven't been to any cons in years but I'm going to one this weekend with no friend group and no cosplay for ez conversation starter. How bad of an idea is that?
I'm usually pathetically introverted but over the last year I've miraculously been more confident and sociable which gives me a strange optimism about my ability to make new frens this weekend.

>> No.10765483

>>10765167
Nah.

>> No.10765488

>>10736820
no it's jujutsu kaisen u dummy

>> No.10765512

>>10765440
If you're going to do this bring a camera at the very least. You'll look like you're part of the scene but care more to capture it, in a way you'll be in, despite looking like you're out. From there you're free to take photos and strike a convo with the person.

>> No.10768291

Getting older and going to cons alone makes me feel like a fraud. Like I'm not knowledgeable of enough popular anime/games to fit in. I literally feel like people are looking at me like "why is he here? Fucking narc." I can only walk in circles for so long until I get so discouraged I simply leave.

>> No.10768426
File: 761 KB, 400x400, akko_cry.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
10768426

>went to a convention this weekend
>had a really nice conversation with a girl in line for like half an hour
>at the end of it just say bye and don't even ask for her number
what's wrong with me?
is this a normal thing or do I have severe autism?
this always happens and I feel like I'm just missing opportunities constantly

>> No.10768907
File: 120 KB, 750x920, flat,750x1000,075,f.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
10768907

Legit question, how do you strike up conversations with strangers in a line? Is "how's the con been for you" just too corny?

>> No.10768916

Don't be the mother fucker who went on for fourty minutes about how he was wearing a cape ("-NOT a dress!!!") and wouldn't stop telling me that his friend was in the Skyrim modding community.

Please.

Captcha: SOY48

>> No.10768917

>>10764974

That's the fakest shit I've ever seen. Bless these morons.

>> No.10768985

Am I autistic or missing out by not having gone to con parties? I just go alone, look at the panels and merch for a day usually then go home.

I have never drunk alcohol and the only house party I have been to I disliked. I am pretty asocial honestly but I am not sure if that is a inherent personality trait that should be embraced or a character flaw that should be improved.

>> No.10768989

>>10768426
Have you tried instead to ask for her IG handle? It might come more naturally, since, judging by others posts you've made, you seem to have some sort of subconscious mental block when it comes to asking for a girl's number.

>> No.10769015

>>10764974
WICKED WICKED JUNGLE IS MASSIVE

>> No.10769016

>>10768907

"you travel far for this con?"
"how do you feel about x panel or person"
etc.. etc..

line is literally the only place where I've been able to have good conversations, because you can have nicely paced convos without feeling like you're wasting their time or holding them up

Line convos are low stakes, say whatever, if they don't put even a little bit of effort in responses or keepign things going then back off.

>> No.10769023

>>10768989
but I don't use any other kind of social media
it's just the idea of asking for any kind of personal contact that makes me extremely uncomfortable

>> No.10769041

>>10768985
In general being asocial is an accepted and non-harmful thing if it's not bothering you, but as a species we were meant to be social and in times and places where social isolation was less of a possibility that asocial nature can be harmful. Something I read about a while back relating to cold war era Russia but is applicable to anywhere that's poor as fuck is that what people lacked in money they made up for in a social favor economy, the dress maker makes dresses for the doctors kids and he treats their ills etc. So in the current time and place (assuming you're in a averagely wealthy first world area) you're fine as long as it's not bothering you but from a more objective standpoint it does make you less survivable and is a deficiency.

>> No.10769043

>>10769041
Thanks for your reply, that makes sense. I agree with you about the practical and economic incentives to be outgoing. that is something I am trying to do better on.

I still am a bit unsure about seemingly frivolous activities like parties or social events though. it seems like everyone young enjoys those sorts of event. I often wonder if I need to force myself out more and then I will understand what they find enjoyable, but at the same time that just seems like groupthink if I don't enjoy it to begin with. ( although I have to say that I sometimes have fomo regardless)

>> No.10769046

>>10769043
Can't help you on that part, I'm also a no drugs or alcohol no party asocial and not sure if i hate it person. One thing I will say on the group-think aspect is that it's not necessarily a bad thing, it's a prosocial trait that evolved to help group cohesion. And as for forcing yourself to enjoy it, that's quite literally what acquired tastes are, it's sunk cost fallacy making you like a thing. You drink the black coffee enough times and eventually your brain decides you must actually like it if you kept drinking it and so the switch flips and you start to actually like it. And it's not that this is your brain lying, your brain is basically god of your reality so if the brain says we like black coffee/parties now then we do genuinely like black coffee/parties even if the reason for it isn't very satisfying. So maybe try forcing yourself? I think (hope) the switch flips and eventually I'll like leaving the house to do things with others.

>> No.10769047

>>10769046
I agree somewhat although if I am in control of my brain, then shouldn't I just act totally rationally? Parties are over by the end of the night. People primarily partake in such activities due to the immediate pleasure, not rational deliberation. Long term, there is relatively low benefit.

Even though we can retrain ourselves, I'm skeptical if it is the right course of action. Normally I would be open to just trying new stuff, but I have quite the aversion to a lot the frivolity and licentiousness that occurs at most parties. Yet once again perhaps this is a misrepresentation

>> No.10769183

>>10730608
Is that the fucking governor of California next to Spiderman?

>> No.10769381

>>10769047
To start with, I'd say you, I, and everyone else are not in control of our brains, even if you take the time to introspect and analyze millions of years of biological programming runs deep and that lump of fuck is going to subtly or not so subtly pull you one way or another and then convince you that you meant to do that all along. But let's put that aside for the moment and assume we do control our brains. I won't pretend I know what you believe about spirituality or civic responsibility or anything else, but personally I see no other point to life but to extract as much pleasure out of it as I can without causing unnecessary long term damage. In this case pleasure seeking is rational behavior because there's literally no other point to life unless you believe in some other reason to be. If you don't find pleasure seeking to be a worthwhile activity then you should feel no obligation to try and force yourself to like parties. I don't think you have a misunderstanding about parties being pointless and perverse, although I haven't checked myself, but I'd say that's probably the point. And the long term benefit is memories made, stories to tell, and people met which are all greatly helpful for someone trying to be more social. But again, if you're happy as is I see no reason to change it.

>> No.10770311

How does one meet/establish/join a cosplay/con group in a new area? I moved away from my friends but want to start doing cons again, though going to a con alone and just trying to meet people these (at least as someone who cosplays, but not any super popular current series like Genshin or w/e) seems like it could be a waste and attaching myself to a random group seems eh. My state has a lot of cons, but all the discords & whatnot I joined to meet people (which is how I met my old con friends) seem pretty dead

>> No.10770405

>>10770311

If you exhausted the online options, try going to cosplay panels and asking the speakers. The nicer ones might just invite you to join them.