/cgl/ - Cosplay & EGL

>mfw I see a cosplay couple on social media and on comic cons

I cheer for them but I wish I was them. Or not. Dating means expenses.

>>10422495
It also means sex and cuddling

>>10422505
I've learned how to circumvent the need of sex by role-playing online. Voila.
Cuddling, on the other hand, that's nice. But a good friend can do that as well.

>>10422509
Anon did you just admit to being an ERPer

>tfw there are no cosplays or alt fashions I can think of that take advantage of the fact I look kinda like an Irish-American gangster in the '70s-'80s

>>10422517
What does that even mean?

>>10422520
It means I look like I could have been a member of the Westies. However, I can't think of a way to make that into a cosplay, nor any alt fashion styles that suit my appearance.

>>10422515
Yes. Any problem?
I'm terribly good at it. Hours of typed sex that makes me even cry out of how thrilling and boner inducing it is

>>10422517
?????????

>>10422528
IRA-kei

Like slav but Celtic.

God, I fucking love seagulls
I can't get enough of the filly images people post on here

>>10422528
Cosplay involves a wig, make up, different clothes and props. What you look like irl has little bearing

I wish I had a cosplay GF, but i already know its hard to come by that this day n age so hey heres to being lonely

I wish I had a cosplay gf but it’s so hard to find one that’s gay, single, and around the same age. Honestly I’d even be down for a lolita gf because even if we didn’t have our main hobbies in common, we’d still probably have other shared interests

>>10422528
yankii?

hello women

i will kiss you now

I finally found some pants that I can use for a UA high uniform. I'm a skinny tall guy.

As much as I hate being stuck inside all day, being quarantined has gotten me back into sewing, and it's giving me motivations to make my own cosplays (or at least start modifying things if I do buy them anymore.) It takes a lot of work, sure, but I'll feel better being able to show off costumes I've spent time working on at cons and not just something I bought off of Aliexpress/Taobao.

As a compliment-starved guy who doesn't have a normal Instagram page, it's weird for my brain to process the praise I get on my posts. "AAAHHH YOU LOOK SO GOOD", heart emojis... I'm not stupid, I know their compliments really just mean
>this is a nicely posed and edited photo
>you did a good job building your cosplay
>I am fond of the character you're cosplaying
and it's not about my actual person...but it still feels weird.

>>10422537
Am I weird for preferring this to the real thing?

>>10422746
Yes, but not necessarily a bad kind of weird

Tfw you buy good lolita second hand deals just so others can’t have it.

>>10422537
You know what you found something and you made it work I have to respect it. But if you're one if those gremlins that ERPs outside your ERP group you are the reason why I hate hosting my tabletop games online

I never used to like old school much, I thought it was cute but I'd never wear it. I tried to focus on classic and gothic.
Fast forwards 4 years and I love it, it's so comfy and you don't need loads of bells and whistles and wristcuffs to make it cute and complete (lolita is comfy to me but I hate wearing jewellery and wristcuffs, I don't like the feeling).
Now it's all I want to wear, I'm starting to build up a good old-school wardrobe filled with tartans.

then some girl I'm crushing on refers to me as 'my lady' and I have a that's so raven-style vision of me as a classic lolita.
I now have an intense need to buy vm and IW pieces. Help.

>Hold my money tight in fear of rona
>Suddenly have way more money than ever before
>Visit my bank, because help what do
>Bank lady is super nice
>Lay down plan to save for a future goal
>Put away that scary chunk of money in new savings account
>Big fear of rona lifts from me economically
>My account looks like normal
>Finally start buying stuff I need again
>Refill my medicine supply
>Get new underwear and throw out rattiest ones
>Browse lacemarket
>I could not do that before, because fear
>Find dress and fall in love
>Order it
>Seller is super nice and kind
>Get excited for hobby once more
>Still financially responsible

Life's looking good. Please talk to your bank ladies, it helped me so much.

man i just really love helping babylitas get gud, it's a nice distraction to the frustrating inability to continue my cosplay projects because of rona

I'm a crippled severely ill chronically depressed fuck who can count on my hand the things that make me minimally genuinely happy and conventions/cosplay are one of them.
It's unbelievable I made more life experience and bonds in one year in a chinese cartoon dress-up fantasy than anything else.
>nearly getting into a fist fight
>literal cliché romantic moment under the rain
>going to a strip club in cosplay
>going to a gay bar in crossplay
>sharing wax with some cosplayer i don't even know in a nearby mall restroom
>sitting in an alley with some bros slav-squatting in seifuku skirts browsing grindr and gossiping
>going to a con the day before a tough surgery and getting more support from some rando cosplayers than my own family
>having some really famous guest hold me in their arms as i bawl my eyes out feeling the closest feeling of affection I've felt in years
>finally thinking to myself "I'm glad I lived long enough to experience this" for the first time in my life
>tfw
And that's just from one year of local cons in a small poorfag country.

>>10422517
Start watching mafia anime or something.

>>10422923
You're gonna make it, anon

>>10422815
I keep this to a specific website where I do the ERP. Anons use it too, it's f-list. And there aren't exclusively furries in there.

Don't worry, that place is my containment.

>>10422746
I have never really done the real thing, to be quite honest. I'm not sure if it will be as good as the real thing. At least the real thing doesn't take you five minutes to describe something simple enough.

>>10422903
> Got m'lady'd
You can still feel regal wearing old-school, anon! Don't give up on what makes you happy.

Feels:
>Rona combined with life stress absolutely demolish my mental health
>Cave and find a new psychiatrist
>Start new medication
>Suddenly able to clean my always-cluttered room with ease
>Brave enough to tackle old pen marks on one of my dresses
>Able to wear Lolita most of the day with less anxiety about getting it dirty
>Remember I have a family history of OCD
It wasn't the goal, but I think my new medication is actually helping me address some issues I didn't know I had. It's been freeing wearing lolita and not worrying as hard about it being absolutely perfect, or being constantly villigant of dirt. I never fully realized that wasn't normal.

>>10422493
So are we not allowed to talk about black people anymore? The last feels thread used an image of a black lolita and there was a lot of discussion about BLM and the thread was deleted.

This sets a pretty bad precedent desu

>>10422946
You can post whatever. Don't start a political shit storm.

>>10422946

When I used that image to start the thread I had no intention of starting a convo on race stuff. People just decided to jump into it for no reason. A lolita in a photo happening to be black doesn't really mean anything; I just thought the art was cute.

>>10422974
Do you know who the artist is?

>>10422977

Nah, found it on Google images and it was from a Pinterest page; those are always nearly impossible to scroll through and find which random suggested link the image came from.

I have a feeling AWA will be canceled. artist alley acceptance letters should have been sent out weeks ago, and with how crowded the con gets, idk how they could manage the crowd.
cases in GA rising recently makes me confident it will be canceled unless some breakthrough happens.

>type "onlyfans" into youtube
>its a bunch of 5/10 girls saying how they made thousands in one month

How? At least Belle Delphine is objectivley attractive.

>>10423114
>Belle Delphine is objectivley attractive
not to anyone who likes tits or ass or a real female body whatsoever. she's flat all over like a little girl

>Biggest and best cons in my country are R18
>Crowd in them is always chill, no loud screaming, no tik tokkers, no kids dancing to kpop, no people sitting on the floors
>All cons got cancelled due to corona
>Now rona has been pretty much contained, restrictions are lifted and new cases are still down
>A small con in October might happen if things continue to go well
>Get excited
>Realize it's gonna be an all-age con

Is it going to be worth it sharing a space with all the screaming teens and pre-teens? Starting a new cosplay project would feel nice but thought of all the kids running around kills me on the inside.

>might actually be able to go with my gf for her first con. She already has a meido outfit with a way too short skirt
>asshole government will probably try to ban it even though its a smaller con

Fuckin hate this fake flu

>>10422493
>>10423114
When I found out my little sister was an Onlyfans thot, I got so mad I spanked her bare ass red.

>>10423124
Salinity.

>>10423114
There's a problem with your logic that yes, perhaps these girls made a lot of money. But now they're going to be labelled as whores for the rest of their life which will end up costing them a lot more. That label and reputation will follow them for life.

See: Pornstars who "retire" from porn. You can never retire from porn because you will always be a pornstar in the eyes of the masses no matter what you do.

>A man can build a thousand bridges but suck one dick and he will be known as a dick sucker

>>10423114
They're just lying. Did you think literal whores were ethical?
It's the same shit you see with MLMs and other shady business opportunities. These people swear up and down it's changed their life and they're raking in cash. Then it comes out it's not the case at all.
It's half trying to justify their shit decisions and half trying to scam other people into signing up for referral bonuses or profit off telling people how to make money.

My SS got the pink ring! I wasn't interested in Neon Diner but I thought the particular colorway of this ring was super cute and takes me back to older sweet styles.

>>10423190
Only the people that were there from the beginning until the point it took off profit from this shit. Once normies hear about it they flood it with trash and oversatutate the market

I browse and consume so much anglophone media that I can't even write or speak my own mother tongue like a normal person anymore, but my english also suck. At least when I talk with international weeb I have an excuse to not speak perfectly english since I'm not a native speaker. The lock down made it even worst, I can't even talk about other thing than small talk without difficulty.

>>10423375
I feel you anon. Even my family noticed it. My sentences aren’t as grammatically correct as they were, I forget word and I try to use English expressions that make absolutely no fucking sense in my native language. When I’ll finally go outside I’ll be perceived as an absolute moron.

>>10423375
What is your native language, anon?

>>10423380
Same thing with the expressions it's awful, + had the mask and everything I say sound slurred af.
>>10423386
French, so it's not even that different from english but the rythm is not as similar.

>>10423455
>tfw avoided learning French because French music just sounds cool when I'm just listening to the pure phonetics and rythm

I'm not going to make the same mistake I did with Japanese.

> bought this set yet in April
> somewhat rareish, but seemingly loosing its popularity
> was scared of people sniping it out
> payed 100 bucks over retail
> the thing is still stuck on my ss warehouse due to shipping suspension
> same thing comes on sale recently
> worn once while my thing is claimed to be brand new
> 50 bucks over retail and people still don’t too keen on buying it, thing may because even cheaper
F

>>10423455
>>10423464
I grew up with a stepmother from southwestern France and refused to learn French as a kid out of spite only for it to bite me in the ass later on. All I know is English, and didn't even get time in a foreign language class because the school system thought that three years of cursive was more important to fix the writing disability they diagnosed me with

Now I've been off and on trying to learn Russian as my second language and all I can fucking do a year in to it is sound out Cyrillic

I'm going to start a cult and when it gets large enough I'm going to have them farm me gold in mmo's

>>10423843
So like the Final Fantasy house but profitable?

>>10422495
honestly a mood tho, im envious of all those cosplayers who have partners to cosplay with or photographer bf

I really wanna start working on cosplays i was planning to make but i'm too broke and looking for a job! It doesnt help that a post old pics from last year and im getting a bunch of new followers. Some of my male friends say i should create an OF to get some extra money in but i dont want to.

>>10423124
It shows that anon likes little girls

>>10423849
>Some of my male friends say i should create an OF
>male friends

Right

haven't worn lolita in months bc corona, i got a bunch of accessories in the mail and decided fuck it i'll wear it out tomorrow to run errands. i had forgotten how fun planning coords out is
>my mom is coming with me
>pray to god she doesn't say some weird shit to a curious normie

>Bought a Nekokumya pochette off LM a month ago
>have had super spotty communication with the seller
>already worried and sending multiple messages two weeks later
>my messages left on read for days
>told me she would get back to me a week ago with tracking bc she was on business
>now over a week ago still have not received a tracking number
I want to kms for dropping over $100 on something from china that may not even exist.
I want to desperately believe its on its way to me but another part of me thinks i need to hurry up and start a claim with paypal before they get my money forever.

>>10423366
It's strange then that the people I see most promoting OF are people already in OF. Why would you encourage your competition to sign up and compete with you?

>>10423870
NAYRT

But like the other anon said
>justifying their decision
>referral bonus

And on top of that, the more people who do it makes it appear like a more legitimate career option and the more people who do it the more its brought to people's attention.

But it still is going to fuck you yo long term. I read an article yesterday for my sister that made in the front page, a high school teacher got fired from his job because parents didnt want a sex fiend teaching their kids and then they found another job in a special needs school and then also got fired when parents found out. Now they've been blacklisted by most schools and their name circulated around the city.

>>10423889
>sister

Lmao meant city

>>10423849
Don't fucking listen to them, plenty of women have been socially, mentally, and emotionally destroyed from camming.

>>10424011
I think anons male friends just want to see her naked.

Hourglass figures are said to be the most ideal but I call that a fucking lie. Shit isn't made for hourglass unless you're willing to wear some revealing tight shit. I don't want to be sexy! I want to be cute! I don't want to be the type that boys oggle over, I want to be a sophisticated lady wearing frills with other ladies. I want to go to tea paties, join a sewing circle, visit musems and parks with a pack of lolitas. It's not fair.

>>10424062
I'll oggle you all day m'lady

>>10424062
I enjoy having an hourglass shape in general, but it is annoying that men will sexualize the fuck outta you even if you're wearing loose sweatpants and a turtleneck, just because of your shape.

Everytime I start thinking that breaking up with my partner is best way forward for both of us, she does something that makes me rethink the decision.

I don't know what to do.

>>10424076
do her a favor and break up with her since you don't seem to want to commit
or talk to her about it like an adult and stop assuming you know what's best for her

>>10423124
wtf are you talking about, she's small but really curvy. her body is plenty "real" and feminine. the things that attract pedos to her are the braces and her childish-looking face imo, her body looks like any other instathot's.

>>10424080
>really curvy
does being a simp make you go blind or

>>10424080
Were you born this retarded or were you dropped on your head?

>two separate people message me pic related because “this reminded me of you!”/“hey isn’t this your style?”
>I wear exclusively nonprint classic lolita

That one time I wore sweet as a complete newbie in 2008 is going to haunt me forever, isn’t it?

>>10424097

>>10424147
her tits and ass are still nearly flat, anon. the tight thigh highs give her a tiny bit of ass but just barely. seriously are you blind

>>10424137
Ew, I'm so sorry anon

Nobody deserves that

>>10424147
>????

Shes flat and thats okay, you don't need to lie to yourself

Does anyone else get occasional existential criseses and go into a spiralling anxious hole and then depression for a few days?

>I am going to die
>Everything I know and have ever experienced, I will never remember again
>Even if the people around my remember me, they too will die
>Humanity will eventually cease to exist with the Heat Death of the universe
>Time will stop
>Nothing I do can prevent this, nothing anyone can do will prevent this

What is the point in existing? Especially when I work a shit job, grinding away at my interests to one day be a tenth as good as people who were naturally gifted for them or rich enough to afford the educational and material resources?

>>10424062
add padding aorund your middle to fill in the curves, or wear a compression bra? That's all i can think of for un-hourglassing your figure.

>>10424137
People will always remember you at your worst. Best you can do at this point is pretend you thought it was a joke.

>>10424221
I get that sometimes. There's nothing you can do but ride the wave. Yes, everything is impermanent and nothing has any meaning, but if nothing has any meaning things can only be as good or bad as you let them be. "Love things like they are already gone," is helpful for dealing with that. It feels a lot better to look at the present with the same sort of view one sues for a friend you used to have, a place you used to visit. When something's gone already you don't have that same drive to Hold On to stuff and that same fear it will be taken away and so it's a little easier to enjoy it. Think about your life, your friends, your planet the same way you think about something that's already gone to help combat the Existential Crisis.Or go to sleep every time you feel it setting in

Why are so many asian lolitas dating ugly white neckbeards?

>>10422946
>why was a thread full of political sperging that has got nothing to do with cosplay or lolita deleted?

>>10423862
You habe 180 days to open a claim.

>>10423862
You have 180 days to open a claim.

>>10422946
It's not that you're not allowed to talk about black people but that last thread derailed into political bullshit instead of actual cosplay/jfashion talk. Given the current climate of the world and the U.S. /pol/ is shitting up anything related to black related topics more than usual on every board. You mentioning this may even start something.

>>10424280
What bothers me about this the most is not that he's white, but you see this pretty, gorgeous woman that put effort into how she looks even when pregnant, and this you have him who looks like he didn't even try. It ruins the picture and is an eyesore.

>>10424300

The thread never even had anything to do with black people in the OP, people just desperately wanted to talk about it for whatever reason after at least two previously derailed threads. Feels threads are always a bit ot but this current one is the best we've had in a couple weeks or so as far as being at least tangentially cgl related feels.

>>10424305
Right. I believe it started when someone complained about the BLM stuff in their Instagram feed and it blew up from there. It's in the past now.

>>10423114
Well yeah, thirsty men are often unreasonable
Trust me, I'm one

And Belle Delphine being attractive, debateable, but I would still fab to her, maybe...

I'm already thinking of lucky bags season and I remembered Liz Lisa hasn't planned to release one this year, making it two years in a row without any lucky bag. Fuck man, between this and tons of LL shops closing down, not to mention a very meh summer collection, it really feels like the brand is dying. I miss Liz Lisa's princessy and summery outfits, I miss Chambre à Coucher items and all of LL's sister brands, I miss their novelty items like the floral keyboards or the gorgeous tea cups. I wouldn't be surprised if LL closed down entirely in the upcoming months, and that kills me inside. I just wanna go back to the old LL days.

>>10424395
Designs have really gone down since acolin quit, but I'm HOPING its just a bad start. desu I think those plain things they've been releasing lately is to try and get normal japanese girls to continue to buy the bramd, but gosh are they boring.
I miss Liz Lisa's lucky bags so much, especially the trunks. They did have the teddy bears as a novelty item recently, but over all it feels like the brand is having an identity crisis maybe? I'm keeping my fingers crossed fall/winter will be better, I usually like those collections more anyways.

>>10424397
Yeah, I miss the trunks dearly too. I really hope you're right anon and that the A/W will be better. It's a shame because I'm the opposite of you and usually prefer LL's spring and summer collections the best and I was very excited to see it this year but there was literally not a single piece that caught my eye. I legit feel down.

>>10424308

Is she still around? I freaking love her classic coords.

I became a sugar baby to fuel my lolita shopping addiction. Met up with a doctor last night who lectured me about philosophy for 3 hours and then gave him a short bj for 1.5k. I thought it would affect me a lot more than it does, but I'm too busy shopping to care. I need therapy.

My gf is laying next to me but I can’t shake off the feeling of hopelessness and loneliness. I have no clear path to make my next move what do

>>10424433
Get a hobby

>>10424433
Seek therapy

>>10424433
>>10424447
>>10424449
Get a hobby of seeking therapy

>>10424432
Well sex without attachment is just work so it's really not that big of a deal if you're okay with it. I'm personally going to shame you for it only because I don't want it leading down farther into something you can't get out of...and I'm annoyed that there's some doctor out there that can just use a woman like that so take what I say with a grain of salt. If you're gonna get money like that go ahead and enjoy that burando. Just don't get hurt and don't lead others down that path either.

Though I would absolutely listen to a 3 hour philosophy lecture for $1.5k

>>10424433
Don't tell me you got a girlfriend thinking that would solve all your life's problems. Find something meaningful to do that matters most to you.

>>10424461
I think Im having a panic attack I'm gonna go buy a puff bar

My ex is a prominent cosplayer and was extremely abusive to me, to the point where I'll probably never be able to have a relationship or sex again in my life. Seeing this most recent bout of #metoo stuff makes me wish I could finally speak up about it. The problem is that I'm a guy and she's a girl and if I *were* to say something I feel like half the people who saw it wouldn't believe me, the other half would ridicule me, and she still has a sizable following and a legion of white knight orbiters who'd probably ruin my life all over again for daring to say anything against her.

>>10423851
they do!

>>10424011
yeah im too scared about my reputation if i do OF plus i have religious family friends

>>10424019
basically! Its annoying when some of them send shitty memes asking for nudes and its sad that they are willing to give me money for OF but not for my Ko-Fi

>>10424488
I'm sorry man. That shit's rough when you're a guy and people either don't believe you or are dicks to you about it. I hope you can find some consolation out there.

>>10424488
I was once abused by a woman and I couldn't enjoy masturbation for months. I still can't masturbate for a week sometimes.

>>10423851
men and women can be friends if they don't find each other attractive.

>>10424459
The best part is, based on the website he showed me that had glowing reviews, he's a very very well respected doctor in the community. Kinda weird thinking about his patients raving about this 50 year old man who enjoys having sex with very young looking 20 year olds in his free time.

>>10424432
you need to report that motherfucker. that's unethical and terrible. also get a female therapist asap.

>>10424542
I'm not suprised. No matter how many achievements or how much education a man gets he's still a coomer.

>> 10420030
Sorry, I didn’t mean to ghost, I had a lot of appointments so I was in a bit of a fog this entire time. Hope we can still talk!

>>10424551
Men are garbage, absolute garbage

>>10424541
Yeah evidently anon's friends do.

>>10424542
You're only 20? Jesus.
First of all you're not a "sugar baby", your a whore/hooker/prostitute. Let's not sugarcoat this.
You're sucking off nasty old men to buy Chinese children's dresses. That's not cute or a funny story, that's just shitty.
Fuck, I hate everything.

>>10424432
Be careful anon and be on your guard at all times regardless of the money. Men can talk a lot, especially those who call themselves sugar daddies with nothing behind it. Also giving him a bj the first date is generally a bad idea.

>>10424588
She still gets more out of it than your average hookup or relationship. Seeth harder scrote

>>10424591
Yeah sex and relationships should just be reduced to monetary value and have no other value. All that matters is buying more products.

>>10424588
You're not wrong, although I wasn't trying to be cute or funny just sharing a feel. Also calling lolita "Chinese children's dresses" is just old and dumb. I'm able to switch off and on when sex is either just a physical act or something deeper so it hasn't affected me much, but like I said, I really need therapy lmao.

>>10424591
Thank you anon, I went on a few non-sexual dates earlier which usually make around $400 per date, but I got carried away with this one, mainly because I just wanted him to shut up. I was an idiot but I'll probably quit doing this shit before I even end up on another date again since I really want to get my life together again.

>>10424609
I hope you get some help anon, you're really young so you have plenty of time to get on track. Most people at 20 don't have their life together.

I'm skinny but I feel like I have gained a bit of pudge due to stress and eating. I have always hated my body image and I have never been flirted with which has always questioned how attractive I am.

>>10424621
Ironically she'll be able to afford plenty of therapy if she keeps getting $400 a date off this paypig

>>10424636
I'm a guy that also doesn't often show interest in people, so I don't know what it's like to be in that situation since never getting flirted with is so normal the one time I actually did have a stranger try and flirt with me I had an anxiety attack because she was also a femdom and must have pinned me for a potential client

>>10424638
Ugh don't encourage it. There's free therapy available through NAMI and such.

>>10424639
Oh... I've had femdom experiences like that too. She was grooming me to do porn but abused me.

>>10424641
Hence the anxiety attack for sure. It was definitely not a pleasant experience

>>10424640
I'm sorry, that was a little too dark. She should definitely stop, especially being 20 and apparently looking underage. This dude has clearly gone off the deep end, and even in the best case scenario he's not crazy, if anon continues the "trophy wife" lifestyle is going to result in a deeply unfulfilling, harmful, and depressing life

>>10424596
Man very rarely bring anything else to the table.

>>10424596
Do you value women for anything other than looks? Doubtful

>>10424658
I'm not male

>people talking shit about girl in my comm because she smelled like weed once
>no one realizes I'm a terrible stoner
>I just always take a shower and wash my clothes right before I go out
>say nothing and feel bad
>the girl being talked about realizes it
>starts talking shit too
>smellygirl vaguely calls me out as "fauxlita" for wearing liz lisa
>in addition to brand and antiques, you stinky bitch
>no longer feel bad
>take a bath and buy a washing machine instead of your next three coords

>>10424646
>Fifty year old male dating 20 year olds
>Must be crazy
No he's just a normal male, most of them are like this.

>>10424662
daily reminder that men are creepy af

>>10424488
But remember, all men are creeps and terrible.

>>10424674
shut up scrote

I wish I got paid to tweet stuff all day

>>10424676
Or what? Gonna cry some more about how all men are creeps?

>>10424662
>>10424663
Men prefer fresher eggs.

>>10424680
>>10424683
>SCROTE REVEALED
every time, they just can't resist, god you're pathetic

>>10424686
I'm not saying it's okay, but that is how it is.

>>10424688
idc, you've shown your sack, now gtfback

>>10424688
take the L anon, these walls have ears

>>10424663
Better hurry up and get your rich husbands soon you fucking Christmas Cakes.

>>10422493
I have to work in three hours and I'm too retard to sleep.

>>10424761
Most seagulls I know already have wife’s and gfs lmao maybe you should take your own advice ;)

This one's old, but someone might relate to it

>21, living almost my entire life as an anxiety ridden shut-in
>slowly dawn on me that I'm not cut out for a career I had set my life on
>end up talking to this girl into cosplay. Cosplay girl keeps calling me to talk to me every day and share traumatic events
>push away long time friends as I retract inward. Continue talking to this girl that's extremely open about depression and her past attempts at suicide
>we end up meeting up, in person I find this girl is very clearly faking her entire personality
>reach tipping point of total mental breakdown as I'm greeted with a final reminder about my crumbling life, but scared to open up
>over the weekend reach one of the darkest depression states I've ever had, and try to hint that I need help from the only person that seems to want to relate to me so much, but I don't get an answer due to it being a con weekend
>girl profusely apologizes, but clearly knowing more about her I want to get away from her
>until she tells me she doesn't take her medication, soon after she stops talking to me
>end up talking to her long time friend unsure of what to do

>turns out this girl treats her best friend like total garbage
>her friend is riddled with congenital health problems, shut in anxiety, no friends, and uncomfortable around men
>despite this in a short amount of time she takes a leap and trusts me so much she invites me over for tea, surprising everyone
>shut in girl and her boyfriend turn out to be so unbelievably kind to me, one of the only moments in my life where I ever felt comfortable around people
>original girl finds out and due to possessiveness makes sure everything gets ugly, does everything to hurt everyone in her fits of rage, and everyone agrees I need to go

Later that girl got her friend to dump her boyfriend, then friend's life shortly fell apart

Even after I put myself back together I was terrified to start cosplaying, myself, or go to local cons for years

>>10424683
I hope they realize an increasing number of women don't want children, then...

>>10424790
I don't think that necessarily true. I think the people getting surveyed are in their early to mid 20s and just think, wow kids look like such a fucking drag, fuck having kids.

Then they get older and realise that part of them is unfufilled (social gatherings and money can only do so much), like most people, and they realise that they won't leave anything behind who will remember them. Then that's when the ticking of the biological clock gets really loud.

I think ceratinly people are more aware of the responsibility of children. I want at least one but I couldn't do what my parents did and have a kid before I was financially established and had the ability to give them every advantage in life.

>>10424790
I don't either but unfortunately that doesn't seem to be the case with women on dating sites, they all seem to want kids.

>>10424790
I think the amount of men who don't want kids out numbers the amount of women who don't want kids by a long shot. It's just that even in current times, women are more likely to be dragged for it and get called selfish for it.

>>10424816
>>10424827
Where do I find these supposed men? Even the men I meet who openly hate children still say they want their own and that their own will be likeable (they're going to end up being horrifically awful fathers but whatever)

>>10424829
I'm on the fence personally. I'd rather adopt a kid honestly if I was going to have one. So date me.

>>10424829
Probably fucking around with escorts and doing mgtow shit.

>>10424830
Fencesitters suck to date, there's always the worry of them changing their mind at some point, even years down the line. Staunchly against or it's a no from me.

>>10424833
Well that's depressing. There's no such thing as men who want a wife but not a child? Guess I'm screwed.

Not really a personal feel but whoever decided to kick up the trend of selling multiple items in a single lacemarket listing but trying to sell them individually is pissing me off. I know it’s just a trick to get people to look at the listing but no one likes this shit, just make separate listings for each ffs. You’re barely any better than the girl selling decoden pieces glued to ring bases.

>>10424846
It's a big ask to have someone make an ultimately life changing stance so early in their lives (assuming you're in your 20s also). Most people will be fence sitters unless they biologically have no choice, even if they say they don't want kids. Plenty of people go from hating kids to wanting their own as they get older, especially women when they hit their 30s and all their friends and cowokers are getting pregnant or dealing with kids. All that happening with the knowledge in the back of their mind that they have less than 10 years to find a mate and make that decision.

>>10424852
There are plenty of older divorced guys who’ve already had a family and now want a younger partner whose attention they don’t have to share while their ex does all of the child rearing. The question is whether you’d want to be with someone like that.

>>10424887
It's really not. I've had zero issue finding a partner that's completely against personally having kids anytime I've needed to. They don't have to hate them, just definitively not want them. They could still change their mind, yeah, but it's less likely than with a fencesitter.

>>10424891
I think that's naive to assume people won't change their mind any more or less likely than a fence sitter. A fence sitter is at least open with their ambigiousness on the issue. I think someone can never truly decide to never have children until it's biologically impossible. Sure the stance that they don't want them is reassuring for you, but it's disengenious to give that false sense of certainty.

>>10424887
your info seems really outdated. there are naturally women having babies in their 40s and 50s these days. and if they opt for freezing eggs, there's no time limit at all.

>>10424889
A man who abandoned his family after they became too annoying is not ideal either, no.

>>10424893
That alone is naive, definitely, but you have the opportunity to constantly gauge reactions throughout your early relationship. Unless it's a total 180 out of nowhere, it's a lot less likely with people that could go either way from the start. Plenty of people that don't want children have always been that way. There's not a better way to vet people, unfortunately.

>>10424894
As far as I know some women can get lucky with having children at a max of 50. Once you get passed 40, the chance of your child being born with a major health problem (down syndrome being the biggest one) becomes very high and it's more of a moral issue whether or not to have a child and risk bringing them into the world disabled and being their full-time carer for your entire life, only then to pass them onto the state when you're gone.

Also freezing your eggs is one solution, but having children in your late 30 or early 40s and still somewhat problematic knowing that when they are 18, you're going to be in your mid to late 50s. They will have to deal with their parents dying early and their children dealing with their grandparents passing away without really knowing them. On top of that, being physically engaged with your child at mid 40s may be challenging.

>>10424896
I understand your point, it's not really possible to predict the future but don't fool yourself into believing people don't regularly pull 180s in relationships. Humans are at best fickle and ecclectic and at worst chaotic and unpredictible.

>>10424897
I haven't. I just don't see any other way to minimize the likelihood of it. I also don't like discussing pregnancy, have some trauma around it, so I don't want to participate in the discussions that inevitably pop up with fencesitters.
>They will have to deal with their parents dying early and their children dealing with their grandparents passing away without really knowing them. On top of that, being physically engaged with your child at mid 40s may be challenging.
Completely correct, my parents had myself and my younger sibling late and it's selfish as hell. My mom is in her 60s and my dad in his 90s, I never played anything physical with them and my dad is unlikely to see me graduate, let alone come to my wedding. It's awful and knowingly inflicting that on children is a terrible thing to do.

>>10424897
Late 30s early 40s isn't that bad since your kids got 30 years before you start to seriously deteriorate

Anything over 50 is excessively selfish if it's your first kid. If you're 45 and you don't have kids you basically had two decades to decide at a healthy age and should have made up your mind by now

>>10424912
I think the latest is really late 30s. My aunty had her two children at 36 and 38 and whilst she is a great parent, she did try insanely hard in her early 30s to have kids because she knew has she gets older things will get more difficult. Especially now that she's mid 40s and developing more and more health issues which makes actively participating in their lives a strain.

>>10424913
That is a shame, but everyone does age differently so I don't think it's fair to apply a blanket statement against early 40s. I say 50 is the obvious cut off point because few ten year olds are going to have fond outdoor memories playing with their 60+ year old parents. Kids with ancient parents have it so shitty

My mother is currently in her late 50s and she's still lifting weights at the gym, doing yard work for neighbors and babysitting kids. Just take care of yourselves now so you can last longer later.

>>10424894
>and if they opt for freezing eggs, there's no time limit at all.
Freezing your eggs isn't a fool proof situation, unfortunately. The success rate isn't high, and it can be both expensive and painful.

>>10424790
Those are usually Karen or cat lady types that men with self respect don't want.

>tfw boyfriend doesn't want kids but would be an excellent father
>tfw kind of want kids but know I would be a bad mother
I don't want children enough to put them through whatever horrible parenting I end up giving them though

>>10425029
Not really. With the cost of being pregnant and childcare being ridiculous, more and more women are putting off having children or just going against it all together. I wanted kids when I was younger, but as I watched my co-workers struggle with finances and overall life quality, it's not worth it. I am only speaking for america though so take that as you will. Not to memtion there was a study that showed single childless women are happier than their counterparts.

>>10425031
Why not become a foster parent?

>>10425029
Japanese women are neither of those, and look at their childbirth rates

>>10425029
Karens always have kids though. Raising children is something that attracts selfish and egotisical people like flies.
Also, men don't give a fuck about what a woman does. They just go where their dick tells them to go. They are only upset at the prospect that a woman will say no to them and that's why they hate cat ladies so much despite them being the most harmless people on the planet.

>>10424889
>tfw everything else about this sounds great except for the age
>im extremely unattractive to guys more than a couple years older than me
>all the single dads around my age (22) are still in the "This is my nightmare toddler McKayleb hes my life you will always be second priority" phase

>>10425181
>unattractive
Meant "unattracted"

>>10424897
>don’t fool yourself into thinking people don’t regularly pull 180s
Okay, sure, but this could happen with literally anything. Your partner could suddenly decide to join a cult, they could decide that they want to work abroad when you want to stay in your home town, they could suddenly say they don’t want to leave the city when the two of you have been planning to buy a small cottage in the country for years. A friend of mine has an uncle who came out as gay when he was in his forties and married with children. You can’t ever predict anything, not even how your own attitudes to things will change, but you can increase your odds of getting the thing that you want at the moment by looking for partners who seem to want the same. Calling that stance naive only when it relates to people not wanting children comes across as weirdly condescending, nobody can ever predict the future in any way.

>>10425184
I am starting a cult if you’re looking to join

>>10425221
How much does it pay?

>>10425181
>single dads
>22

That's just a bad time all around

>>10424280
They have low self esteem so they settle for the ugly ones.

Went to LM to check listings, see cute cheap BABY cutsew, and the second I click the listing the page opens and it is sold...

>>10425224
I don’t think you pay cult members otherwise it wouldn’t be a cult. I’m trying to do you a favor here even if it doesn’t look like it. Just imagine, you’re at a tea party and everyone is spilling the tea and you can be like “so I’m part of a cult” think how cool it will sound. Now is your chance to join a relatively safe cult. Where else are you going to find the word cult and safe together?

>>10424280
Imagine taking professional pregnancy photos in a hoodie and jeans while your wife is dressed like that. I'd make my boyfriend wear a suit, at least.

>>10425184
>A friend of mine has an uncle who came out as gay when he was in his forties and married with children.
I guarantee there were signs that his wife just swept under the rug or was in denial about. There's no way they had a healthy sex life, for example.

Kids, though. It's literally a genetic lottery. And one you can't just easily divorce or run away from without royally ruining their lives and maybe even yours.

>>10425233
Not that anon but sign me up.

>>10425227
Yeah its rough. Dating game is full of failed highschool sweethearts who dug themselves in to deep and now have a divorce/kids in their early 20s.

>>10425248
People still have kids in their early 20s?
>>10425242
You have to hand over your soul and boost me and my gf out of bronze in league

>>10425267
Remember, if you have to ask; it's the midwest's fault

>>10425268
or new hampshire

>>10424521
same. I've often over it, was my fault for getting drunk, and I'm still friends with her, still drinking myself wasted every weekend...

>>10425267
More like they knockup/get knocked up in their terms. Thankfully that has been going down in recent years.

>>10425267
>>10425242
We're joining this cult together. Let's do this

What's the name of your cult?

The world is falling apart and desu I have no hope that I'll live past 25 so I'm just buying a bunch of frilly dresses to distract myself from impending doom

>>10424280
I have the same question all the damn time, but about all asian girls, not just lolitas. Colonial mentality is like the thickest pair of beer goggles ever I guess.

>>10425267
>People still have kids in their early 20s?
Not on purpose. Men pressuring women not to use condoms is a huge issue among young people, resulting in this shit.

>>10425314
it's really not that big of an issue for anyone except maybe poor Mexicans. teen pregnancy rates keep dropping and the average age of childbirth keeps rising

>>10425314
Why are men so disgusting and awful

>>10425305
social disty

>>10425314
>>10425319
>It's men's fault in consented to unsafe sex.
>It's men's fault that I keep picking the bad ones
Damaged goods.

>>10424062
I feel you, it seems like all I can fit is fast-fashion clubwear from shops like Rainbow. And I even like that look sometimes, but dammit I want other styles cut for hourglass too.

>>10425322
Pay attention to me! Donate to my Patreon and sub to my OF thank you daddy!

>>10425322
Ever heard of coercion? Pressuring a woman to do anything sexually until she gives in is not her consenting. You sound like a rapist.

>>10425319
I've had girls that try to do the same.

>>10425324
just become gyaru then.

>>10425267
>people still have kids in their early 20s
Yeah. Not on purpose I assume but it happens. Two girls I knew in highschool had multiple children before they were 20. One of them was by two different guys.

>>10425327
NAYRT

Pressuring and coersion are two completely different things. Coersion involves an element intimidation or threat. If someone pressures you, that's still consent because there is no line between pressuring someone and persuading someone. There is a line with coersion.

Stop pretending like women are perfect angels who can do no wrong and it's all big mean men's fault that they wanted their brains fucked out.

>>10425377
Why am I even shocked that scrotes would defend this disgusting behavior? Rape culture is alive and well.

>>10425381
If you want to infantalise women and think they shouldn't be held responsible for their actions then you need to go back to the 1800s.

>>10425385
Women are not responsible for the men who abuse them, you victim blaming retard.

>>10425386
Define abuse.

You're not a victim to an action you were consenting for, completely understood the consequences of and completely lucid for.

>>10425386
idk i kind of think that women need to stop acting like children and letting men get away with "mental coersion" or whatever.

>>10425388
Different anon here but what they are talking about is what scrotes here on 4chan would call "manipulation". You know, that thing that men like to claim women are pros at and lead poor, innocent men as broken people? Same thing in reverse. Men, especially teen boys since that's where this conversation started, really do pressure and push girls to drop thier panties for them. They'll lie, whisper sweet nothings, call them a prude and compare them to other girls and like most teens and young adults, they're susceptible to that kind of peer pressure just like boys like to pressure each ither into doing stupid shit that gets them killed. The problem is boys and men finding getting a girl as a challenge or prize making the girl more of an object than a person and this has been going on forever.

So instead of putting the blame on the girl, why not scold the boy who does this shit like you would scold a woman for manipulating a man's emotions?

>>10425399
The problem isn't solely boys or men. That's gendering the issue and pretending that women are complete innocent children in all of this and are oblivious to what a penis is. Girls are just as if not more manipulative than men are, they are not stupid.

>so instead of putting the blame on the girl
I'm not solely blaming the girl. The original argument was that women are just as culpable in unsafe sex as men are rather than it just being "abusive" men who take advantage of pure women. Which is 100% true and therefore there isn't necessarily a single party to blame let alone claim rape onto.

>why not scold the boy who does this shit like you would scold a woman for manipulating a man's emotions?

I think the behaviour is fucking retarded and I do find that type of manipulation disgusting. But that's beyond the scope of the argument of whether or not women are consenting and are culpable. No one is forcing them to drop their panties, you can say no regardless of how many sweet nothings are whispered into your ear. You're an intelligent human being with the ability to use rational thought and understand consequences. Nice words are not synonymous with being drugged or raped.

>>10422493
A girl in my comm's Facebook group got mad today because Reddit is deleting "common sense" subreddits.

I don't know if she's racist or a TERF but nobody feels bad.

>>10425407
>No one is forcing them to drop their panties, you can say no regardless of how many sweet nothings are whispered into your ear.
The problem is that even when they do say no, they are badgered and badgered and badgered into saying yes. Sometimes they just downright ignore you and proceed anyways, crossing their fingers that you'll be too shocked or scared to do anything. I mean you're already presumably naked and in bed with this person. That's when things get scary: will this person get mad at me if I say no again? Eventually, it can scare you, cause you to second guess yourself, or exhaust you into saying "fine". That's manipulation. That's why people talk about ENTHUSIASTIC consent, because badgering your wife into saying "ugh fine" isn't enthusiastic.

>>10424887
This was me. Anti-kid until 27 when my dad died. Something about the impermanence of life and being forgotten by time really made me want to pass my genes on to people who will at least remember me past death.

>>10424663
At least women get to have fulfilling sex for a longer period of time with a person she's attracted to. Younger women, by and large, don't find older men more attractive than younger men, so most older men will never get to fuck someone that age.

>>10424588
nayrt, but I get $12k/month from a guy I only have to get in bed with maybe twice a year. Half the time his dick doesn't even work so there's no actual sex. He pretty much just sees me as his girlfriend and I get free vacations and fancy dinners and expensive gifts. He's really nice too, even just as a friend. I definitely lucked out because I know there are some terrible and nasty men out there, but sugar babying definitely isn't solely about sex.

>>10425410
That's not manipulation. It's not a man's fault you are for some reason scared of saying no to them. They don't know you're scared. You need to being a mature human and tell them no, if they persist, then tell them to fuck off.

It's really that simple.

I'm harassed by the same motherfucking transient every day to and from work on the train, he begs for money, screams abuse when I tell him to get fucked. Every day, but do I relent? No because I'm a human being with my own individual power of will.

People are scared of saying no and so these people need to grow up and learn to be assertive. That's nobody else's fault but yours and your own stubbornness to not grow as a person because it makes people uncomfortable. If you say no, but eventually relent, you never said no to begin with. You've now taught that person that your no just means "Persuade me."

>>10425415
>It's not a man's fault you are for some reason scared of saying no to them.
It's 100% their fault for not hearing "no" and accepting it. This is common knowledge.

And yeah, if some fucking homeless guy screams at you every day and frightens you, no one would fault you for giving in and giving him money. In fact, I think many people agree the homeless guy should be in jail.

>>10425415
>If you say no, but eventually relent, you never said no to begin with. You've now taught that person that your no just means "Persuade me."
only to a rapist. you sound like a scrote so I wouldn't be surprised if you were one yourself.

>>10425421
That wasn't part of the example. If you say no and someone then pesters you, that's sexual harassment. Call the fucking police? Don't blame men as a whole group because your inaction.

>>10425415
Yeah no that's not how this works at all. Take no at face value, always, unless your partner has SPECIFICALLY communicated to you otherwise and you have a safeword. Pushing and persisting like that until someone unenthusiastically relents is not a healthy part of a relationship.

>>10425425
So you use the homeless person as an example of a frightening man who badgers you daily. You don't think he's a problem then? You actually think people who he's threatening are at fault for not wanting to get punched in the face?

>>10425427
Again, if your partner can't take no. Breakup with them.

>>10425428
My point was that regardless of what he does, I have the option always to tell him to get fucked. I know he's ultimately harmless.

>>10425430
>Again, if your partner can't take no. Breakup with them.
What part of "scared while literally already naked and in bed with a physically stronger person who refuses to take no for an answer" is hard to understand?

It's funny you "know the homeless guy is harmless". You must be a man. I know countless women who have been assaulted by homeless people on the street. Homeless crazies feel fine assaulting women and elderly people because they know we can't kick their ass like a man would.

>>10425415
The problem is men turn into dangerous violent sociopaths when they can't get what they want. Every woman is scared of men to some degree, and for damn good reason.

>>10425432
It's literally not a mans fault that he's stronger than his partner. Unless he has demonstrated beforehand that he will be violent to get his way, saying you're intimidated into saying yes is a cop out. That leaves literally every single action and behaviour a man does as potential intimidation and threat and every women's actions completely out of her control because of fear. Which is bullshit and you know it.

I've been assaulted by homeless people before, mainly high on crack. But I picked this specific guy on the train because he's never been physically violent. A couple of fuck you's and suck a cock's, then he goes to bother someone else. But the fact is other people on the train give him money which encourages this behaviour of pestering people who say no initially.

>>10425327
But people will always try to persuade you to do things. Are you genuinely saying that it's abuse because women are incapable of saying no?

>>10425437
That's bullshit. Most men are not violent at all, unless a person has shown to have violent tendencies before especially your partner who you're supposed to know very well, that's completely discriminatory.

>>10425438
So I'm right. I knew you were a man.

People aren't experienced with the crack addict like you. They don't know if he's going to punch them in the mouth. The fact that you're holding them responsible for his behavior perfectly illustrates how retarded your logic is. He clearly belongs in jail, the people giving him money do not.

It's not the man's fault he's stronger than his partner, it's his fault for NOT TAKING NO FOR AN ANSWER THE FIRST TIME. It is that simple. I don't know why this isn't getting through your thick skull. I agree with the sentiment that you must be a rapist. Begone, scrote.

>>10425438
>That leaves literally every single action and behaviour a man does as potential intimidation and threat
Correct.

>>10425440
You expect young women in short lived relationships to already know their partner well enough to know if they have violent tendencies? Looks like we should all be avoiding sex with men for years until we know him extremely well.

>>10425443
It's not retarded at all. This happens at peak hour, there are quite literally hundreds of people on this train who would jump to the defence of a person being assaulted. There is no real threat but for whatever reason people still give him money. If you fear something that has such a minuscule chance of actually harming you to the point it will effect your actions and behaviour, that's a phobia a mental condition.

>NOT TAKING NO FOR AN ANSWER THE FIRST TIME
Then fucking break up with this person? Get out of the fucking bed? Call the police? Scream for help?

There's literally so many more options than just saying yes and blaming men as an entire group. Most guys will be aggressive in bed but that does not mean outside of a sexual context they will exhibit any sort of aggression.

You're trying to prove the point that a rapist, rapes people. No fucking shit. My point is that calling someone a rapist because of an inability to say no, not just show discomfort at an idea, (which is the original example given, not naked in a bed with a person who doesn't understand consent) does not constitute branding the entire male gender as sociopathic rapists.

>>10425451
I think this is a troll. There's no way that anyone in a society where rape accusations, even when blatantly fake are taken very seriously and make national news. Ever hear the phrase "there are no girls on the internet"? That applies here too, or at least I hope. You should just stop giving this person attention.

>>10425451
Men are rapists until proven otherwise. No exceptions.

>>10425449
I expect as a male to not be branded as a manipulative abusive person for being physically stronger than someone which by no fault of my own.

>>10425451
>This happens at peak hour, there are quite literally hundreds of people on this train who would jump to the defence of a person being assaulted.

Kek, as if that's stopped tweakers before? This shit happens in broad daylight all the time, and I've personally seen it happen. Crack heads screaming in your face aren't known for being logical, and the chance they will physically fuck with you isn't "miniscule". I've seen women get their faces spat in. I'd rather give the crackhead a dollar than wipe off Hep B from my made up face.

Again, anyone with half a brain would agree the crackhead should be in jail. This example continues to highlight your retarded logic.

>Call the police? Scream for help?

Yeah, good luck calling the police with literally no proof of rape other than your word that this person refused to take no for an answer. I'm sure that will go well.

You must either be a child or just painfully out of touch with how the world works.

No one is saying "all men are sociopathic rapists". They're saying "all men who refuse to take no for an answer and repeatedly badger you are rapists". My boyfriend doesn't do that. But it sounds like you do. Sounds like you're a rapist.

>>10425457
Not taking no for an answer and then becoming violent to force it is in no way comparable to badgering.

Both are shit behaviour but one respects a person right to not have violence used against them. The other is one you can tell a person to fuck off and then if they don't, break up with them? That's the original point. Badgering someone is a pathetic thing to do but it does not make a women unavailable to say no, therefore she is partly culpable in whatever act she is now consenting to.

I really need to stop reading these threads, they've made me completely terrified of ever trying to initiate or be assertive with girls for fear that I might do something wrong without even realizing it at the time.

Since the members of the cult are gathered here I would like to remind everyone that since social disty is a cult you may not vote out the cult leader.

>>10425462
I don't even need these threads to turn me off taking initiative with girls at anything, get on my level.

>>10425440
>Most men are not violent at all
Yes, all the murders, sex dungeons, beheadings, tortures, wars, shootings and mutilations of the world are done mostly by women right? I'm not even part of this conversation but what you said there was absolutely stupid.

>>10425462
You can take initiative without "being assertive". It's really not hard to just take no for an answer. It's actually incredibly easy.

>>10425460
Not taking no for an answer, then badgering someone repeatedly, is what a rapist would do BEFORE resorting to violence. That's why it makes people afraid. It's common sense that if someone disregards "no" for an answer, they're not someone who cares about your boundaries or well being.

It's strange how defensive you're getting about this considering how easy it is to just take no for an answer. You sound like a rapist yourself.

>>10425462
Would you like to join my cult as well? One of the benefits you can redeem with CCP (cult contribution points) is that you can bring me along on your dates and I shall ask your partners for you.

>>10425468
When did I say most crimes aren't committed by men? If you want to start discriminating by crime statistics, you should be super fearful of black men all the time.

Majority of men don't commit crimes.

>>10425469
Moving the goal post by fusing two different scenarios you presented as separate and individual is a fallacy.

Ad hominem is also a fallacy.

>friend threatens with killing himself and deletes all social media because he broke up
>again

how the fuck do i even approach him now? i'm not a psychologist nor the person he needs right now but i get really anxious whenever he pulls this shit

>>10425473
>>10425473
>When did I say most crimes aren't committed by men?

>Most men are not violent at all
>Most men
>Not violent at all
Gee, I wonder. Black men are men as well, you're now just trying to change the topic to a race issue when clearly we are talking about men in general.

>>10425474
That's really rough, anon. I've had to listen to someone attempt suicide with a dull knife while on the phone, not an experience I'd recommend, but the anxiety eventually can be dealt with when you reaffirm that this is beyond your capabilities. Normally I would recommend the suicide hotline, but I know first hand that that may be a mileage may vary situation, however their resources might be helpful

https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/

>>10425472
Your cult is looking pretty promising

>>10425478
Most men aren't violent. The point still stands.

>>10425480
Do you not know what the word "most" means?

>>10425483
Sure do. 50% or greater of the male population does not commit violent acts.

>>10425484
nta but yeah they do. men are naturally violent. bar fights and shit might not be crimes, but they're still violent. all men are violent if pushed enough. it's in their nature.

>>10425474
Send him my way. I have a use for people like him

>>10425492
[Citation needed]

>>10425479
yeah, i know it's beyond my capabilities but thats what makes it more hard to deal with i suppose. i just have no idea what to tell him after this if they come back
i was thinking about becoming a little distant because his shit is starting to affect me too

>>10425492
Also all people are violent if pushed enough. Women are plenty capable of being horrible cruel. So that's a completely moot point.

>>10425494
tons of psychological studies done on boys and teens. they are aggressive and violent without even having to learn it. learn2google

>>10425494
Literally just look around you holy fuck
How are you this out of touch with reality?

>>10425484
Most men have been in fist fights or physical altercations before.

>>10425469
>You can take initiative without "being assertive". It's really not hard to just take no for an answer. It's actually incredibly easy.
That's not really the issue, it's more that years of horror stories from girls here and elsewhere have made me completely unable to feel confident that even a "yes" is genuine, and I'm really afraid of being creepy or doing something even worse without really knowing I'm doing it. Of course it doesn't help that I'm a pretty shy guy with self-image issues and not much experience with women (one serious live together LTR and not much else) and already automatically assume I'm going to be rejected or be seen as creepy.

>>10425497
it's a scientific fact that women hurt emotionally and verbally while men do it physically. so no. that's why hardly any women commit violent crimes, and almost all of those are defense against violent men

>>10425497
If this were true, women would be more violent than men. But they're not by a long shot.

>>10425498
>>10425499
[Citation Needed]

>>10425484
You know that fist fights are violent? You know that most "masculine" hobbies that men have a fondness over are violent acts? Punching your little brother is violent, beating up a bully is violent. Just because it isn't documented as a crime does not mean it's not "violent." Men are agressive by nature and several of them are proud of that fact, ready to get into a fist fight at the drop of a hat be it for fun, establish dominance, control or protection. You're retarded to think otherwise.

>>10425504
we're not gonna spoonfeed you, scrote. look up the facts yourself

>>10425500
I would argue so have most women at some point. Doesnt make them violent people.

>>10425502
Women don't commit violent crimes because they have no use for violence. Violence is ultimately a tool to get what you want.

>>10425503
Hardly. Majority of homelessness is men, majority of suicide is men, majority of those in poverty is men, majority of violence is committed against men other than sexual violence.

>>10425496
Honestly, if this is a repeat offender that you just don't know how to help it might be healthy for you to clear some distance and see what you can do to reevaluate when the matter isn't as close. I've also had long time friends that I care deeply about that I had to distance myself from for my own sanity

>>10425506
Okay so any sort of aggressive act is now violence. Therefore women are totally as violent as men.

See how retarded you are?

>>10425507
>makes claim without evidence
>BUT ITS TRUE!

>>10425508
>so have most women at some point.
In self-defense, against a violent man who initiated it

>>10425508
You've been on 4chan too long. You've lost touch with reality completely.

>>10425508
>Violence is ultimately a tool to get what you want.
And one that most men aren't afraid to use, bringing us right back to the original point.
Refusing men is inherently dangerous because they're violent by nature, glad we agree.

>>10425510
>Okay so any sort of aggressive act is now violence. Therefore women are totally as violent as men.

>vi·o·lence
"behavior involving physical force intended to hurt, damage, or kill someone or something."
>Physical force

>See how retarded you are?
You're just proving more and more how retarded you are.

>>10425510
this has to be a troll at this point. or a future abuser and rapist. hopefully the former

>>10425509
yeah thank you anon, i like speding time with him but it's always like being near a ticking bomb
can i just ask how you would deal with this situation ?

>>10425515
>>10425516
NTA, but it's clearly established that men are violent to some degree inherently.
So what do you suggest be done about those urges?

>>10425511
>>10425514
[Citation needed]

Women will act incredibly violently when they know they won't get their shit kicked in by a man. Which explains the problem of female same-sex relationships and violence.

https://books.google.com.au/books?id=8kHrWPLLX54C&pg=PA312&redir_esc=y#v=onepage&q&f=false

>>10425515
So emotional violence doesn't count anymore? Coersion? Intimidation? Threat?

>>10425515
What makes a person violent? A single act? A regular occurrence of acts? If you're drafted into the military, are you violent? If you're a police officer and have to use violence, are you violent? Is hitting someone as a kid violent? What if you were a violent person but you are now a total pacifist?

What defines a violent person?

>>10425518
abolishing the culture of toxic masculinity would help quite a bit. boys and men need to be clearly taught what is unacceptable. and also that when a woman says no, it means no, regardless of what the request was

>>10425518
To be honest they can still act out their violent urges in the same ways of fighting each other as long it's honorable between the two. Men litterally can't help it so outlets for it can continue as long as it's done safely.

As for the main topic; Have them be taught from an early age that no means no. Have women taught that when they say no it means no. Both sides could learn a thing or two about empathy but men more so. Men need to stop bullying each other when it comes to displaying emotions and women need to learn to be more physically agressive to make up for their lack of strength overall. You fix the problems with men and you end up fixing the problems with women.

And limit porn somehow because the amount of men addicted to it and struggling with mental health and connecting to others is all fucked up. Those raised on the internet with porn have a unhealthy view of what real women are like. I'm not saying get rid of it, just there needs to be a way to use it responsibly.

>>10425521
What does this mean though? No person I've met believes raping, abusing or otherwise being a prick to women is a good thing to do.

What the hell does abolishment mean?

>>10425506
You're not totally wrong IMO but I think it's a cultural problem, not just something innate in men. We have an entire society DESIGNED from the ground up to manufacture aggressive, confrontational, violent men. Boys are raised the way you raise a pitbull for the fighting ring, encouraged to ridicule or beat any signs of weakness or "softness" out of one another, denied emotional support or affection, subjected to physical punishment for minor transgressions when they don't even understand why what they did was wrong, pushed into playing and watching violent sports, and so on. We're also constantly presented with images of women being attracted to violent men.

It's probably something that made sense in a time when men were expected to hunt and slaughter animals regularly, to go out and fearlessly hack one another apart with swords and axes on battlefields, and whatever else but it's totally obsolete in modern times. There might be some nature in there but nurture is a lot of it and there are plenty of guys who AREN'T like that, unfortunately by not being like that we tend to be pretty unsuccessful in life and relationships because the whole world is built for aggressive violent men.

>>10425524
>No person I've met believes raping, abusing or otherwise being a prick to women is a good thing to do.
I'm guessing you haven't been to half of the red boards here or even /fit/.

>>10425526
>people on 4chan totally aren't just antagonistic dumb fucks and represent majority of people

Anonyminity allows people to get away with saying things that are taboo and want to say things which are taboo because it's edgy. Put people in a real life scenario, their 4chan persona would shrivel and die.

>>10425526
I hope you're not considering /r9k/ an accurate representation of men in general

>>10425525
>there are plenty of guys who AREN'T like that
You're right, there are. While this conversation is very anti-men it comes from the agressive hate we see of anti-women everywhere else. Most of here are well aware that not every man out there is a murdering rapist, but we're also not blind to the fact that there's always a risk. You're absolutely right too about culture being a large factor and that's what needs to stop. It's trying to stop right now but in all the wrong ways and when a right way shows up, it's disregarded and mocked.

>>10425517
That's tough to say. You mentioned he's unstable after a break up? Do the people he dates turn out to be pretty poor characters, or is he the one that appears to be ruining his own chances at happiness? I'd need more information on your friend, and from now I'm going to use a trip for the sake of conversation

This thread reminded me of a story

>be 19
>late finish at uni, about 11pm
>get the train home, arrive at the station at like midnight
>walking through empty station to car
>see a girl, no older than 13 looking dejected at the pay phone
>ask her if she's okay
>she says her phone is dead and doesn't remember her parents phone number to call them from the pay phone
>without thinking I ask where she lives
>she tells me and it's not too far from where I live
>Without thinking offer to drive her home
>this 13 year old girl accepts a lift from a stranger at an empty train station at midnight
>Drive her home, she thanks me
> I drive home

Knowing what I do now about how much legal risk I put myself in and the amount of hate and suspicion that men have in modern society, I would have just left her there and probably wont ever try to help a girl out in the same circumstances ever again.

>>10425527
>>10425528
I know it's 4chan culture to believe that everyone here is a complete loser but that's not actually the case. There are soilders, police, businessmen, fathers, and I don't doubt at all that there's political figures lurking around. There is a reason the FBI watches this place and why the site was split. 4chan is a reflection of the inner thoughts of people that couldn't say these things out loud and not the only place. Those inner thoughts give clues as to how people really are, in this case men because being a woman here was considered being taboo for years and now women posting are called trannies. For the reflection of the female side just go to the farms and you'll see a difference. Still bitches and still hateful of course but the tone is less...potential race war and killing spree.

>>10425534
Inner thoughts are not a reflection of people's actions.

>Incel men and women thinking the other gender is the problem
What if I told you that most people regardless of gender are absolute trash? What if I told you that that you're going to find more shitty people when you take interest in them based on physical attraction?

>>10425535
Tell that to the spooks reading these threads. Hell in /co/ just a while ago, the pedophile Thad was back from jail posting and said himself his conversations are being monitored on this site.

>>10425532
thank you
another friend mentioned he might have bpd and after looking at the symptoms it's very much him (self harm, the mood swings, anger). so in this case there's really nothing i can do
>is he the one that appears to be ruining his own chances at happiness
this one, he claims to trust others only to lash out at them whenever he gets a mood swing

>>10425537
Have you not known of Edward Snowden? Ever since they started enforcing the no CP rule on /b/, it has been monitored.

I am not running a cult it was a joke my account got hacked

>>10425540
Bipolar Disorder or Borderline Personality Disorder? From that vague description it sounded a bit like one of the two. Either way both of those are classic cases of needing psychiatric intervention. The friend I mentioned was recently diagnosed lifelong Bipolar and it unfortunately fits their personality quite well. It's different in every people, but often times it's going to result in life long instability

Best you can do is try and guide him over to a psychiatrist. Everything else is far beyond your capabilities, and any way he feels always remember it's not your fault

>>10425541
I think you misunderstood. My point was that these "inner thoughts" have resulted in enough crimes that we have the feds looking over our shoulders. I would agree that a person's inner thoughts are not a reflection of people's actions, but this website (and others) is not exactly one of those cases.

>>10425529
Yeah, I get that, and I agree that it's mostly our problem to sort out, and hopefully the next generation of parents can do it with their kids. I know this might be controversial here, though, and maybe I'm being selfish or projecting, but for people our age I think women also have an important part to play as well, in that I think they need to agree with one another to stop giving so much positive reinforcement to the kinds of men who are the problem and maybe start paying a bit more attention to guys who aren't, as a guy right now it feels like admitting to having feelings or vulnerability is a one-way ticket to celibacy and I think that keeps a lot of guys locked into the bad behavior patterns.

I've got a bit of a weird personal history in that I was raised by hardcore feminists who drilled their values into me so hard I'll never be able to be that other type of guy, and because of that I've had the somewhat rare experience of actually living as the type of guy women say guys should be, and unfortunately it's been a pretty miserable experience. Girls often think I'm gay, others just have no attraction to me, when I try to act in ways that I see work for other guys I can't do it because it feels so wrong and "sinful," and the few women I have had "success" with have been abusive. As long as this is the experience guys get for not acting like brute assholes I think it's gonna be hard to get them to stop.

>>10425545
borderline. again, thank you anon, and it sucks about your friend too, feeling helpless fucking sucks but if there's nothing we can do it's better to leave it at the hands of professionals

>>10425534
The current state of 4chan is also skewed by how many people come here from other communities/sites to dump their drama or voice their biases. I think if you could filter all the "visitors" out and just look at people who've been here for a long time and consider it their main website you'd find a lot more relatively normal people. Sadly it's just gonna get worse now that Reddit has deleted a ton of its worst communities, /k/ is one of my main boards and it's already been a total disaster today.

>>10425550
The problem is, girls say they love a guy in touch with their emotions but they don't realise that it's not going to be a brooding tough guy who every now and then needs to confide his inner most demons to her. Which is exactly what they think an emotional guy is. They're going to be just as emotional as girls and I don't blame them for thinking they don't want to date a bitch who they need to emotionally support all the time when they themselves require more emotional support.

Girls say they want emotional guys but they don't. It's just social suicide to say you want men to repress their emotions. Girls want men who can deal with their emotions in a healthy way, but I feel a huge problem with this approach is girls think the only healthy way is how women deal with it.

I personally just push everything down and then later on I lament in silence and make sense of the emotions and let them go. I know a lot of guys do this but to the current culture that's seen as toxic masculinity because you're not being straightforward with your emotions and you're not communicating them with others. But I don't need to and I'm perfectly fine.I am an emotional person and feel a lot but I just don't react when things happen which cause the emotions. I try to stay level headed and make the right decision and then later when I'm alone I'll meditate on them. But to many people, the way I act is "toxic" since I'm not bawling my eyes out or needing someone to hold my hand.

There are very few modern guys who repress everything and just boil over nowadays.

>>10425552
No worries anon. Thankfully if he does match the description of Borderline Personality Disorder quite well there are plenty of resources and plenty of research done on helping working with it. Personality Disorders are a serious diagnose and a serious thing to work with, but out of all of them BPD often appears to be the most well researched

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5340835/

>>10425522
>>10425521
I just woke up and I didn't expect an honest answer, I appreciate that.
For my part, I'm not sure how well one can "limit" toxic masculinity— it's so ingrained in culture that it's basically what boys teach each other regardless of what's been taught by thier parents, media, etc. But I can definitely see earlier education about rape and domestic violence possibly helping to some degree.

My life has been so uneventful and boring that reading con horror stories makes me feel jealous. I'll probably stage my own con horror story next chance I get, with me being the monster, since I've got nothing to lose

>>10425508
>I would argue so have most women at some point. Doesnt make them violent people.
Most violence in gay relationships is between women and women. Absent of men.

>>10422977
iqdb says "Yokarura"

>>10425692
nta but you don't seem to understand it very well. toxic masculinity is less about being taught by other boys or something and more about entitlement learned or otherwise. kids don't understand wrong vs. right, you have to teach them. and part of that teaching has to do with consequences. the whole "boys will be boys" sentiment is an example. younger boys get treated a certain way based on how they are supposed to act as boys (scolded for crying and praised for violent behavior like fighting picking on others) then they don't get into trouble for certain things either. this then leads into thinking specific behavior is acceptable when it's not and it continues with age.

>>10425873
Problem is that learned behavior is just as effected by fellow students and media as much as parents and teachers. If media were able to fully remove that sentiment from everything, that might work? But it seems optimistic to assume that every single parent is going to be teaching thier kids the right thing.
Overall I can at least agree that parenting heavily influences how boys act and should ideally be encouraging boys to not be violent and encourage kindness and forgiving.
In my own experience as a scrote, the worst my "masculinity" got was probably during middle school and high school. Pubescent urges also need to have some kind of method to be dealt with.

>>10425879
well that's the idea to get rid of all of it from society. same with shitty toxic femininity that comes from misogynistic ideas.

>>10425454
based and absolutism pilled.

everyone from the middle East is a terrorist, and all poor people are crack addicts.

>>10425884
actually, everyone should probably live by their own, unhinged desires - if fear of death and pain was removed, shit would be based.

take what you want, attack when you desire it, sexually assault if you wish, but with the consequence of that the same may happen to you.

>dear of death is removed so you don't care if someone kills you

happiness maximized

>>10425888
yes please. society fails because we tried to box everyone in. time to let them all out.

Whereas I used to be so excited for cosplay and not caring how cringey I looked as a little kid in my handsewn little cosplays after 10 years I have nothing but sadness and I see nothing has changed in most cosplayers' mentalities. If anything it's only gotten worse.
I only cosplayed mostly for the sake of having fun with people and people are less and less fun.
Now it's just a soulless industry full of pompous arrogant whores that you can't speak against else you're misogynistic and literal manchildren (that you can't speak against either else you're blacklisted from events and companies because they're the ones running them) and with COVID and no cons, it put the nail on the coffin.

there isn't even excitement to make your own cosplay anymore because nowadays everyone is a model onlyfans thot with 200k followers or a professional designer with industrial 3D printers superior to you and if you don't have the skills and money your voice doesn't matter. You don't matter. You're literally no one.

take me back.