/cgl/ - Cosplay & EGL

>>10412049

Bought myself this big boi but BABY Japan said it won't arrive at SF store until mid july...*sigh*

It finally arrived! I've been waiting for a dress since march 20th and it finally arrived. I'm so pleased, I thought it would be another two months before I got it!

I just want to blow all my savings on expensive atelier boz and moitié so I can kill myself in style

But because of covid all my packages are stuck in hell and ordering more now would just mean more money gone with nothing to show for it.

>>10412257
don't kill urself, gothic lolitas are so rare already

>friend was raised to be a tomboy by a "powerful womyn" mom
>wasn't allowed to wear things like dresses or general pretty things because her mom convinced her that men would see her as a whore and "rape-bait"
>friend has since moved out, asked me for my help picking out her first feminine clothes, but she admits to being scared because her whole life her mom told her she'd be raped if she wore a dress
>happy to help
>friend picks out the most ugliest costumiest looking shit I've seen (and this is coming from someone who likes jfashion), so much so that all the product reviews are people wearing it as a costume

I want to help her but goddamn, its gonna be a long night.
if any anons want to reccomend companies that sell cute A line dresses (the flare skirts are important to her) I would be so thankful. She loves casual Jfashion but she's 5'8 with a wide ribcage and hasn't fit into any of the jfashion brands I already own.

>>10412271
Secret Honey. I don’t know about their sizing though.

>>10412271
get some skater dresses from places like hot topic. she will be way too tall for most jfash.

Just saw another artist apologizing for not doing arts with black people. Is that supposed to be like this?

The training workshop for my research field that I finally got into this year was canceled due to COVID. I'm disappointed but not surprised. Was really excited for it because I've heard that everyone that went loved it so I'm cheering myself up by splurging on lolita.

>>10412297
if the artist is american, i guess it's weird that they would never draw blacks. but most countries in the world have little to no blacks, so people don't even really know what they look like, and therefore don't attempt to draw them

I knew I was going to get handed a big fat shit sandwich sometime soon for the past few weeks. Today it finally happened.

>>10412257
I'm sorry anon. I'm thinking about it too.

>>10412297
Of course not, it’s perfectly fine to draw people who look like you.
Also I hate this expectation that artists should draw what YOU want them to. Literally commission them or do that shit yourself or fuck off.

Got a black raschel lace op from meta off the lace market but didnt do my fuckin research on lolibrary before hand and assumed i was getting an all black dress... Nah dis bitch is silver. Idk what to even coord with it now. Im such a kuro freak

>>10412311
This might be a good opportunity to experiment and expand your style. Some of my favorite pieces were accident (as in bought because cheap and convenient or like your case, didn't realise it wasn't what I thought) this may turn in your favor and if not just sell it to the next person idk

>>10412307
As an artist I agree with this. Unless you’re paying me, you can’t say shit about what I draw.

>>10412312
I should give it a chance... It really broke my heart this morning, but i have yet to try it on. It will be ita at first im sure but i feel a lil more confident thanks anon.

>>10412320
if you don't like it I'll buy it.

>>10412300
This and you also don’t want the shitstorm that’ll come if you don’t portray them “correctly”. You should see how far people go to nitpick the art, especially now with what’s going on

This image reminded me of something that happened to me when I was really little, actually I think it might be one of my first memories

My mom was mad at me for something I had done, and I thought because of that she didn't love me anymore and was going to kick me out so I thought I had to pack up my things and move out. So I started making a sack on a stick like this since I had seen them in movies and games

>>10412327
hobo-loli
hobo-loli
hobo-loli

30 pounds down since quarantine. 20 more til target weight.

Its pointless though. Still no ideas for anything to cosplay, and even if i did id just be awkward and alone.

But hey, at least I'm a healthy weight now and can fit into my high school jeans.

I’ve had a really shitty fucking week gulls. Idk if it’s my anxiety but I feel like my coworkers and my own boss are setting me up for failure while expecting me to “step up.” There’s such a strange and sharky energy at work that I have a difficult time decompressing. Today was extra rough, and I got relieved an hour later than normal with no additional pay. As I trekked my defeated ass home, I saw a box on my doorstep. I thought it was a lackluster amazon purchase but it turned out to be a package from Japan!!! I wasn’t expecting it to arrive so quickly but once I recognized what it was, I started sobbing. It was nice just to have just ONE THING go my way today, and I needed it. Now I’m going to enjoy a glass on wine and stare at my glorious dress and do a face mask.

>>10412326
Now I feel bad as I posted it

I’m really disappointed in someone I follow and admire who inspired me alot staying completely silent about anything to do with BLM. I think it is shitty for a lolita with a large following to only be focused on herself instead of showing any support at all. Didn’t even bother to share coords of black lolitas or black designers if she felt posting any other support would be detrimental to her precious following or ruin or pastel puke layout. Makes me wonder if she is probably just a racist piece of shit and not worth looking up to anymore. I know there are plenty probably not wanting to mix their fashion with serious problems happening but it really rubs me the wrong way when someone e with a big following like hers can’t even be bothered to show her support for the many black followers she has that already support her in follows and likes. It was weird to see her friends supporting BLM and posting “silence is violence” but have nothing to say about her silence but excuse it instead. It felt like shaming shaming anyone else but it’s okay bc it’s their friend so she is excused.

>>10412353
Unfollow them then

>>10412353
You are fucking retarded.
Why must everyone do the same shit? People deal with things differently without being racist. And if she is racist, do you just want to her to fake it? What is your end goal? Why do you care, do you have nothing better to do?

The best part is that even if that person posted then you‘d be in here to cry about it being fake or some shit as well

Damned if you do
Damned if you don’t

>>10412353
Honestly "silence is violence" feels so bullshit at this point, I can't think of a single person who doesn't know what's going on right now. I'm sure there is good reason to why they are being quiet and they are allowed to be. not saying anything doesn't make you racist and the term silence is violence just sounds like something made up by white girls on the internet to start shit and cover white guilt like "look Im not racist here's my proof I called out this racist online! Praise me "
And the people I see who aren't black and in support of BLM seem like they're only doing it for clout(like when everyone did the fist profile picture when that is a bpoc thing and not even ment for them). Even me someone who has been speaking up and going to rallies and protest for yyyeaars before this is being quiet during this. I really haven't said a word about the movement on my platform since the start of the riots, why because finally people know what's up and I don't have to speak anymore because everyone else is.

What's the point of speaking in a crowd of screaming people's

I think your being overly critical of someone who hasn't done anything wrong. Be angry and direct that energy towards real racist and quit trying to call out people who haven't even done anything

>>10412353
I think you're projecting a lot of feelings and intent on this person not making a social media post. This person could be going to protests, donating, or whatever other way they show support. People get upset when someone seems to use social justice as a way to garner more attention to themselves and this person might be afraid of coming off like that or misrepresenting the movement.

>>10412364
Btw I’ve heard an opinion that this whole protest thing has been made artificially. That person implied they want to kick Trump away (that’s what I got), although I feel this might actually benefit him because people may vote for him against this pressure to be woke.

>>10412371
What?

>>10412353
I'll say it before and I'll say it again -

I don't care how many followers someone has, they don't have to say anything. They don't owe it to anyone. Let them live their lives and unfollow them if it upsets you so much. If you need so badly to look up to a leader, become a leader yourself.

I know the exact "silence is violence" image you are talking about and it's complete bullshit. Stop gaslighting people. No one OWES you their voice. Everyone should be able to process this how they choose, and silence is a completely valid response.

Everyone shaming "silence" are the same kind of people before who were pushing "safe spaces" and "please use trigger warnings." Yet, now you are trying to police people's opinions and words? Absolutely fucking ridiculous.

I'm seeing bubble tea shops get ripped to shreds because they are choosing to stay quiet. It makes me so disappointed that everyone feels the need to "out" anyone does not personally want to engage in current events. Get some god damn consideration and leave people alone.

>>10412324
Wanna drop an email so i can let ya know if i dont like it?
Also heads up it was 2014 release and i paid around $300 for it. & would ask for around there (:

>>10412376
>>10412324
Also it came with matching hair clip bow

>Bad feels
Nothing's worth it anymore and the world's still a sack of shit no matter how hard you try.

>Good feels
Wearing lolita is so much easier with social distancing in place. No more worrying about brushing past people cause they have no fucking spatial awareness, and no more feeling guilty for taking up more space to start off with.

>>10412347
Enjoy anon, glad you got your dress finally, the little things really can make a big difference.

>>10412353

>>10412353
you're a dumb slut. If someone unfollows me because they think I'm racist, they're stupid. I've been donating what I can, streaming the 'stream to donate' youtube vid pretty much all day multiple days, and educating myself. Just because I don't need to spam my followers (who are already being spammed by just about everyone spamming the same things already) for the millionth time about how amazing I am for doing ALL THIS SUPPORT and about how I'm SUCH A GOOD ALLY.

You're unfollowing her for not being performative? Okay. Silence isn't violence - don't let people tell you that, they want you to repost and like their content (silence is violence, repost my really mediocre graphic that doesn't have any information or you're racist).
I stand with BLM, I really do. But your attitude is so indicative of a herd mentality.

>>10412487
This is how I feel too. Maybe I'd feel differently if I had a large social media following and could actually influence people, but I'd rather just quietly do my part by giving what money I can and educating myself. What would shouting about it accomplish exactly? If anything, judging by a lot of the opinions I've seen here and elsewhere, all these people patting themselves on the back are doing more harm than good for the cause.

Whats the deal with all these blatant /pol/ bait posts just staying up?
Literally in every thread. Are the /cgl/ mods just too sjw to delete people ironically defending blm or someshit?

>>10412304
Was it from here?

I've been having so many vivid nightmares that it's been hard to separate my emotions in my waking life, but this precious child is out for delivery today. so I'm trying to focus on that.

I have another package that might get to me tomorrow if I am lucky. I've been really nervous about it because it's an EMS package I have been waiting 2+ months for. I don't even care if I have to pay customs fees anymore (USA). I just want my Milky Planet and Vanilla-Chan.

I wish all these fucking incels and rapey creeps would stop going out of their way to alienate every fucking woman in the whole goddamned con/cosplay community. We used to have nice things and then they fucked it all up and to make it worse they act indignant toward women over it when it's their own goddamn fault and they've fucked up everything for everybody else.

>>10412677
But anon it's obvious we only dress in loli and wear sexy cosplay for them. We can't be mad about the attention when we obviously want it

I thought it was bad enough that cons were cancelled due to corona-chan, but I recently got diagnosed with cancer lmao

Just fuck my shit up 2020

>>10412789
I'm so sorry anon. I hope it's treatable and you'll be cancer-free soon.

>>10412353
I unfollowed someone for making a long self-pitying rant about why they can't support BLM. It would have been better if they didn't say anything.

>>10412835
Who?

>>10412849
Nobody

>>10412789
What is this anime? i have looking for it for a while now

>>10412789
Seconding the first anon who replied you where I hope it can be perfectly treatable.
Is it, right anon?
>>10412911
It's Nichijou, one of the cutest anime that has ever existed.

i sold a handmade cosplay to another girl for CHEAP and as a commissioner I don't usually do it but it had bad memories attached, hence the sale. I clearly stated it was made by me in the listing, so she bought it, wore it once and then sold it to someone else.
Am i wrong for being upset that not only did she not credit me for the making of the costume, but she then sold it on without saying anything even though i told her it was a personal favourite before the bad association? Word of mouth is pretty important for my growth to get new clients. I just don't know if i'm being petty or stupid about it

>>10412995
Seems petty to me... sorry

>>10412995
If she said she made it then yes that’s definitely a no-go but if she didn’t mention it at all then it’s not worth getting upset over.

>>10412996
>>10412997
I guess it's pretty petty then. desu i just like seeing where my costumes end up

>>10412995
I mean once it's once someone else's it's out of your hands, if you really want credit for your costuming that badly make a tag with your name in it. If you sold it to someone and they sold it than that's out of your control. Your allowed to feel upset about it it's reasonable given the situation. Just use it as a learning experience and put things in place for yourself to prevent this from happening again

>>10412282
She tried my secret honey and I heard a tear so that's a no. She loves the brand though
>>10412283
Thank you so much for this, she ended up loving hell bunny

Japonica just told me they had a payment issue when preordering a dress months ago and never noticed the brand sent them an email informing the error, and didn't get the dress in the end. I'm pissed as hell. Next time I'll just preorder it through WW and eat the customs fees.

>>10412297
Lol they police art now? Rapidly advancing, last week it was social media feeds now this, whats next?

I really love how more lolitas have been posting photos of the details of their clothing to Instagram.

>>10412283
5"11 here.
nah. adapt, improvise, overcome.

>>10412300
>most countries in the world have little to no blacks
What? Africa has the most countries out of all the continents, about a fourth of the world’s countries are there. There are also plenty of black people outside of Africa, and a lot of black people in American mainstream culture which is exported practically everywhere. Black people are not some rare, exotic bird species.

>>10412366
NAYRT, but I genuinely feel like the white people who post prominently about supporting BLM are the new "straight girls at Pride" thing. If you know what I mean.

>>10413208
Africa is irrelevant to the world as a whole. Literally nothing of note has happened below Egypt and above South Africa.

>>10413208
I feel like really and truly it all comes down to black people not have features that adhere to beauty standards around the world. The fact that most of the international perception of black people comes from rap and adverts showing children starving isn't really helping at all either, but i doubt they care or anything can be done to change their minds at this point.

as if Lolita wasn't already expensive my country got new customsfees and stuff so now absolutely everything bought online is like 2 to 5 times more expensive than before.
fucking sucks.

>>10412364
Stop projecting racist-chan, she isn't talking about you.

>>10412353
I'm a Lolita of color and you're a fucking moron. It's not mandatory for someone with a huge following to speak on the subject, or in fact stay silent on the subject. Either way they can not win, so deal with it and cry harder.

>>10413340

Nayrt but of color like black or non black? Cause if you're POC but Asian or lighter/non black the problem doesn't really affect you as badly. Yes, no one is obligated to speak up on the issues and they aren't evil for remaining silent, but also no one is forced to follow people if they feel they'd rather follow someone who supports the causes they do.

>>10413342
Black and I've experienced racism for a long time, so let's not even go there. This constant whining and wanting to tear down people for not hopping on the BLM train & suddenly caring about black creators is ridiculous. Just unfollow if it hurts your feelings that bad and find another "influencer" that fills the void. Not everyone has to cater to what you want.

>>10413350

No need to rant, geez. I am not even totally disagreeing with you. I literally said no one is wrong or bad for choosing not to post but that it's fine to unfollow someone if you don't see support for something you would rather they support?

>>10413355
nta but this whole performative sj trend is gross and by unfollowing someone you're pressuring them to pretend to give a fuck about it. if you didn't try to force their content before, don't start now. social media doesn't impact things as much as you'd like to think.

>>10413355
>No need to rant, geez.
yes, lets just ignore the fact that you were racially profiling her in >>10413342

>>10412353
I know I hate K8 too, but she'd fuck it up if she posted more about it.

>>10413069
that's what you get for using japonica. use japan shopping service

>>10413208
Asian and European countries have little to no blacks. People from those continents will rarely if ever have seen a black person IRL. One would hope they wouldn't base their view of black people on trashy rappers and other American media.

>>10413340
>>10413350
You seem awfully upset about this for a black person.

>>10413377
t. has never been to asia or europe

>>10413361

>asking what race they are because black people are disproportionately impactwd by an issue
>racial profiling

This reeks of those "I don't see color, people who acknowledge race are the REAL RACISTS" type of comments.

>>10413356

If social media doesn't have an impact why care if they unfollow? How is the number of followers they have so relevant that they feel there is pressure on them? People can unfollow if they want, even if we feel they're doing it for the wrong reasons. I get being upset if someone is being harassed or pestered but simply unfollowing because their posts aren't what you want isn't hurting anything but their IG likes and possibly their feelings if they even care.

>>10413381
They're larping.

>>10412812
>>10412932
I caught it early so my prognosis is good!

>>10413418
Yes!
I'm super duper happy for hearing those news, anon!

>>10413124
How? Teach me your ways so she doesnt look like shit

>pcos
>autistic
>already born with masculine features
>fucked me up and thought i was tranny, ex-ftm, 1 year of low hrt
>short fucked up frizzy hair
>crooked yellowed teeth
>bottle glasses
>acne
>big face
>stronk muscles
>poor
>live in third world cunt so even harder to buy my burando, taobao cheap stuff and korean skincare products
>literally look and act exactly the same as an ugly deranged hon/sissy goblin no matter what i do
i just want to be cute and happy... it's not fair

>>10413428
learn how to do the kind of makeup that makes you look like a completely different person

>>10413380
do you think demographic stats are all lies or?

>>10413426
there's really no way of writing it short (lol), but there's plenty she can wear. She just has to know her own body really well, and get really familiar with measurements of everything. Accept that she won't be able to fit into everything. 5"8 isn't that tall if you're also thin, so if she's carrying lots of weight she'll struggle more. Good luck!

>>10413428
find some money
>wig
>contacts
>braces
>camera filter apps
>straight up photoshop
>rhinoplasty
>facial fillers
>microblading
>see a dr about the pcos but that straight up sucks sorry you're dealing with that
everything else is fixable

>>10413428
you're kinda my type given the "masculine features" but you got me with
>>live in third world cunt so even harder to buy my burando, taobao cheap stuff and korean skincare products
damn that must be hell, especially given how third world countries are super lookist
not that my opinion matters

>>10413380
When I was growing up in old country, I only knew three black people and that was because I went to an English-speaking high school that expats sent their children to.

>>10413378
Amazingly there are Black people who, dare I say, think very differently about this whole situation and are against many different aspects of what's going on. Shocking I know, who knew it's possible to be "upset" over far more? Keep up the racial profiling.

>>10413428
As long as you have good taste on the inside you can learn to show that on the outside, look up male vkei artists without makeup, especially the more feminine ones. They look kinda weird and usually have crooked teeth (Japanese just don't have the best dental care in the world)
If they can go from masculine man to hot anime boy/girl with makeup and nice clothing so can you. Also masculine features as a woman is really appealing I'd try to use that to your advantage

(Not trying to insult kamijo with this but makeup can change your whole self if you know what your doing)

>>10413428
kek I'm like the reverse of you
>not pcos but extremely high T for a woman
>autistic
>born with masculine features
>think I'm tranny but think that just means not trying hard enough to be a woman, fuck I don't wanna be a tranny
>try wearing lolita and get into kawaii shit
>people think I'm a crossdresser, even crossdressers think I'm one of them
>push myself even harder
>start to look like a woman finally after learning drag tricks
>suddenly the people that made fun of me for being ugly and manlike want to fuck me
>realize I hate looking feminine
>go ftm, happiest I've been in my life

listen anon, if you want some help as to crossdressing tricks so you can achieve what I did, lemmi know.

>>10413446
>find some money
>just git gud lol just be rich lol
easier said than done
what do you think I'm doing already everyday anon?
If I had the money everything would be fine

>>10413457
the problem is mostly shipping costs + piece of shit customs taxing and my packages getting stucks and taking long ass time

>>10413479
I guess my problem is being more into cute soft kawaii classical shit. The irony is me being muscly bitch faced on the outside and a sensitive mushy crybaby in the inside loving cutesy fluffy stuff.
I really like vkei, but I straight up look like a man, not that it's a problem but sometimes I miss my femininity, you know?

>>10413483
Actually that was pretty much what I was trying to do before I went on HRT. Forcing myself to be a ~real wahman~ or whatever.
>listen anon, if you want some help as to crossdressing tricks so you can achieve what I did, lemmi know.
Thanks anon, but I'm already used to following a lot of crossdressing guides at this point (pic rel is me every morning putting on a corset)...
I'm really glad you're happy and figured yourself out though.

>>10413488
Haha glad someone else can relate. I used to make myself fake tits since I couldnt afford a breastform (you take a big bra, and literally put balloons in them, not water balloons though) and no one questioned my gender when I had those on. No matter how manly you look people see tits and don't question it

>>10413488
>the problem is mostly shipping costs + piece of shit customs taxing and my packages getting stucks and taking long ass time
Can absolutely relate, anon.
USPS is pretty godlike in comparison to my home country's mail system; I'm still surprised it is still part of that one international organization for mail systems!

picture unrelated

>>10413488
Sorry for click bait style video that I'm sure everyone has seen, but this. Watch this for inspiration. A good haircut can change any face into a more flattering one and just general makeup transforming tricks. Smaller eyebrows, bigger eyelashes, etc

https://youtu.be/uS2JhJizn7E

>>10413496
Nayrt, I get what you’re saying with this but there’s no way most of this stuff passes in real life. You’ll still look like you, just with cakey makeup on

I lived in japan from 2009 to 2012 and had no idea lolita fashion existed. Now I live in America and I love it so much. My favorite style is 2010 era OTT sweet. I COULD HAVE BOUGHT SO MUCH BRAND. NEW. IN PERSON. I missed out so hard and now I have to haunt the 2nd hand market for the pastel vomit dresses of my dreams

>>10413496
Seeing women smile with a lot of happiness after their makeup is done is very heartwarming in an unique way.

>>10413520
Some people would rather look like a cake than an ugly man

>>10413535
yo >>10413483 here
I happen to have a bunch of pastel vomit dresses from that era I want to send to a loving home, but they are mostly salopettes. What sort of dresses are on your DD list?

>>10413466
There's thinking different and then there's sounding like a butthurt tradthot namecalling and crying about how "you can't win with liberals" and hurt feelings. Try harder next time.

>>10413557
Oh the standard ones. Dream Fantasy, Candy Treat, things like that. I count myself lucky that I have milky planet and magic princess already. I’m not into salopettes, but thanks for the offer! Wasn’t trying to make a WTB post, just lamenting my terrible timing

I wish Rosa Bianca had more colorways for this mask. I love the design but not the colors.

>>10412257
Update my packages have been released from hell (after months) and I should be getting them this week and I bought some moitié and boz so I'm feeling better. So my suicide is being put off till I can wear it
Very much hoping japan won't have another massive mail delay again

>>10413587
are you dumb? the only reason to ask someone's race in regards to this situation is to discount their opinion. even if anon was black it doesn't mean she's automatically going to have insight. the whole point of being anon is so people don't judge you and base your posts on any assumed motive.

>buy an overpriced purse because its cute and I want it
>covid-19 strikes and it's been sitting in Japan for three months
>same purse popped up today for half off
>could have just not bought the first one and bought this one

that's what I get for paying retail I guess

i am tall-ish and have lost over 55lbs to be able to wear egl again, among other reasons. i’m nearing the lower end of a healthy bmi for myself and i still feel like a hog. i can’t afford surgery to reduce my breasts which is my main issue, though it’d be retarded to do that just to wear lolita imo, it’s just a dream. i know i should just wear what i fit in, but i want to fit into the impossibly tiny old school pieces that i know my body can never conform into. i know it isn’t a good mindset, but i figure if i can become incredibly skinny then maybe i still have a chance.

Several members of the HLS have come down with corona. There was a private meetup with roughly 12 people present. The sheer stupidity of their actions.

>>10413890
oldschool pieces are shorter than modern pieces too, dont hurt yourself anon. im in the same boat as you with my breasts, it kills me i'll never fit into oldschool vm or mm.

>>10413900
HLS?

I have had bad experiences that made me hate sex, and while I’m getting better with therapy and realizing I can have sexual feelings after all, I just can’t connect sex to romance no matter how hard I try. And the harder I try to understand why most people view it as part of romantic love, the less I’m able to understand. I want to have a sexual partner completely separate from romance, but even though my boyfriend and I are fine with each other having sex with others, I feel like it will just make me a slut. I feel bad for not understanding love and sex like others do.

>>10413927
not /cgl/-related

>>10412049
>It was a good day

Finally got myself out of bed this afternoon and washed my lolita clothes

This lockdown has really fucked up my depression but I think I'm finally able to push through it.

>>10413911
i’m glad someone understands. i lost weight, i exercise, and my bust decreased some, but it’ll never be small enough to fit into those dresses. it’s a shame because the vast majority of new releases don’t speak to me like old pieces do. i respect newer releases but 99% of them bore me to death. i’d even bind myself if it weren’t so dangerous

>>10412327
Sorry anon, thats too damn cute

>>10412789
Man, fuck 2020 and fuck your cancer! You'll beat it!

>>10413494
Not for long, GOP is trying their damnedest to screw over USPS

>>10413827
They're literally larping as a black person in an attempt to mask their butthurt /pol/fag sperging. Learn2read

>>10413961
Thanks anon! I won't lose to cancer!

I feel so self conscious about wearing a skirt or dress as casual wear. I love them, and there's nothing wrong with me wearing them, but every time I put one on I feel waves of doubt wash over me. Like I'm not supposed to be wearing this, if I walk outside people will look at me weird. I have dresses and skirts in my closet and they fit me fine but I start feeling my heart race with nervousness when I think about stepping outside and people seeing me. I feel like something will be wrong, something doesn't match and people will whisper behind me.

And because this site is the way it is and normally there would be no need to say this, and I'm only doing so to get less troll posts, yes I am a cis-woman. It just really sucks to be scared of something so small and stupid.

>>10413991
Imagine thinking someone is larping as a specific race because of their political opinion...that's hilarious.

>>10413958
I feel that. Work on being the best you that you can be, you can't be too hard on yourself. Unfortunately it's just one of the drawbacks of being a foreigner into an obscure Japanese fashion.
Binding/minimizer bras don't actually take off inches in my experience anyway, they only create the appearance of a flatter chest, and not even in a flattering way in lolita. An unpadded but still lined and wired bra looks best imo. Binding only makes boobloaf worst, it's best to get the damn things as well supported with as little extra padding as possible.
Try to find ways to wear the fashion you do like. A modern dress that fits you well will look better than squeezing yourself into oldschool pieces. Even if you do end up thin enough to fit them, you'll still look a bit like you're wearing a little girl's dress because you're tall and the seams won't hit where they're supposed to. Look at western girls wearing old unshirred moite, it doesn't sit right.
Personally since I like oldschool classic, I try to find solid colored or simple printed dresses in cotton and I still collect oldschool brand accessories like headwear, jewelry and bags.
Depending on your waist size skirts can still be an option too, they won't have the proportion issues of dresses. Most oldschool pieces are ~70cm or less.

>>10414029
Happens more often than you think. People pretending to be other races/genders/nationalities to prove a false point have been going on sense humans created the concept.

>>10414028
go with your bff if you have one, so you can focus on them and not look around at other people or think about other people. if you're in a conversation with your friend, maybe people will be less likely to butt in and comment.

I did a makeup test to practice my contouring a couple weeks ago. I washed my face before and afterwards but I still had a minor breakout. Decided to try a new pore cleansing technique I’d read people raving about.

It backfired, of course, and now my small breakout looks like I had a can of cheese ravioli explode on my face. Good thing 2020 cons are canceled I guess.

>>10414029
It's not their political opinion, it's their tone. They didn't once deny it either kek.

>>10414043
I only have one irl girl friend who is a mother of two and the others live in other countries. My friends have mostly been men which would make dressing up even stranger when going out with them. I don't want them to get the wrong idea if I suddenly start dressing more feminine around them, so going alone is really my only option. I need to learn to suck it up and deal with it, it's just nerve wracking.

>>10414077
i heard one of the popular dating apps has a friend finder feature. maybe you can put jfashion as an interest or meet some ladies in your normal clothes first. sorry I don't know the specifics, but I'm sure somebody here can chime in about it. I've heard some of my friends have used it when they moved into town.

I just wish I had money for my burando and to be happy.

I know money can't buy happiness but words can't describe the comfort and calm the lifestyle and fashion classical lolita/mori kei and feeling beautiful brings me in the middle of so much chaos in my life. Especially when my body is so deformed, scarred and fucked up.

Unfortunately I already have little to no money and all of the extra money I get that's not for necessities goes all for medical treatments and therapies because I'm so sick.

Maybe I should become a gold digger or something and marry some rich husband. Become a housewife in exchange for cute clothes and everything.
But then again I'm not even worthy to anyone at all in the first place...

>>10414117
There's a kink for that
Alot of men like weak sick women and if sure if you looked you may find something, make a tinder idk put yourself out there

>>10414137
1st gf
>Crohns
>Cancer

2nd GF
>Hypersensitive Celiac

3rd GF
>Lupus

Either I attract certain types of girls or I have a subconcious desire for sick girls. I have never not dated a sick girl so driving to the doctor or pharmacy multiple times a week has just become normal to me.

>>10414052
What pore cleansing technique did you try?

>>10414137
I used to feel the same way, but in my experience, men who seek out the unwell (physically and or mentally) tend to have abusive tendencies or aren't really worth shit and want to feel special.

>>10412049
You meet these girls at anime cons, and instantly they're telling you about their Onlyfans.

Like...? You're very nice, but I don't need to see your butthole.

>>10414137
What kind of retarded advice is this? No one should want to be with men who have a fetish for genuinely ill and weak women.

>>10414232
>not just googling her name and looking for the share files with everything of her for free

>>10414235
Honestly I'm pretty sure there are men hear who lurk to give damaging advice to vulnerable girls on the off-chance they'll get to contribue to a woman's suicide or something.

>>10414240
here*, whoops

>>10414238
>implying that's easy when she's not even popular enough to be stolen from

>My dad dies.
>I get $1 mil in life insurance.
>Best friend shows up to visit me.
>She has no idea about the insurance, I keep that a secret.
>She hands me a gift: a wallet that says "future millionaire"

What the fuck? I was doing well financially but this is just eerie timing.

>>10414399
good thing that now you can buy new friends who won't buy you such shit gifts.

>>10414400
Nah, her taste is tacky but her heart is golden.

>>10414421
>Nah, her taste is tacky but her heart is golden.
spoken like a true friend

>>10414206
Fifty shades of snail’s grit routine.

I know it’s not really new but I see it mentioned on reddit sometimes and hadn’t tried it before. I doubt it’s the technique itself that went wrong since it works for so many people, I just am not sure what works consistently with my skin.

>>10412049
The con was cancelled and I got hit in the nuts.

>>10414510
Try a retinoid and then adding in a BHA in a month or two. Snail's routine only works short-term if at all, actives and consistency will get rid of them over time.

>Covid panic
>Get to keep my job
>Still in a complete panic
>Live frugally in quarantine
>Spend nowhere near as much as usual
>Suddenly have insane amounts of money
>Panic mind tries to save and invest
>Even panic mind thinks it's a bit much
>Browse /cgl/ at 3 am
>Taobao thread has a funny op image
>Idea enters head at full force

So, how much do you like to spend on a taobao haul for it to feel like... A HAUL? I might reject this notion tomorrow, but right now it seems viable to blow a buttload of cash on taobao stuff as shipping will be back in order soon (right?)

>>10414137
Anon plz don't take this advice

Just got my #1 dream piece that I've been drooling over since I was 13 FUCK YEAHHHHHHHH

>>10414052
That might be normal. Whenever you try out a new product, you sometimes break out first and then it starts to work. Because some things bring up whatever was under the skin out closer to the surface, which is why you get break out.
Retinol is known to do this for example.

GA is reopening and it looks like DragonCon is still a go. I'm dreading what the repercussions will be of stuffing that many people who will definitely not be wearing facemasks because it will "ruin their cosplay". Not planning on going to DCon but I swear to god if it means that the state is going to get shut down again and AWA doesn't happen I'm going to be so fucking pissed.

>>10414878
>it looks like DragonCon is still a go
Lol that's not gonna happen.

>>10414859
I’m so happy for you, anon! Congrats!

>>10413912
Houston

>>10414812
Similar thing has happened to me. I have an extra $4k sitting in my bank that's saved up since this work from home started. Very tempted to get a new wardrobe and already spent some of it for home gym equipment and comfy shit. New robe, slippers, back massager, bubbling foot tub, too much polish...I need help.

>>10414878
Weebs already have shitty hygiene, so this is going to get ugly.

Oh god, the smash players

>>10414812
don't do a haul just buy a few small things for that sweet serotonin

How do you cope with the fact that a dream item might never show up for sale again? Some of the things I‘d love to own are older than some of you on here and I wonder how many of those items are still out in the wild and are being thrown out in the trash while people have time during lockdown, gone forever

>>10414812
don’t waste it on taobao shit. Hoard the money until good stuff pops up second hand or new release comes around.

>>10414973
I usually ask myself honestly about whether or not I'd wear it much (assuming I can afford to buy it at that point)

>>10414973
I literally lay awake in bed thinking about the potential of a "ruined" hospitality doll OP/sets was just thrown away and will never resurface for me to buy..

>>10413428
what do we mean with third world?
also pocs is pretty manageable with a good diet, struggled for years till I found that out

Are there any black gulls here

>>10414973
This is how my shopping addition is fueled. Most of the time, if something is old and in relatively good condition, I just buy it.

I can't stand the thought of never seeing it again.

>>10414994
I am mixed living in Europe, why?

>>10414994

Why do you want to know?

>>10414973
My whole wish list is moitie. Moitie fags never let go of shit. To make matters worse, I'm fairly sure that before moitie was sold to wunderwelt, they had smaller batches compared to the sweet brands. I am guilty of impulse buying a bunch of cheaper items that don't fit my style, but I stopped doing that now. I am a picky bitch and i would rather go without then settle on something else or pray for a re-release.

>>10414994
Yes, why?

>>10414997
>Most of the time, if something is old and in relatively good condition, I just buy it.

I literally just bought an MM skirt from 2003 for this sole reason. Oh well, I will wear it I guess.

>>10414994
Yes

>>10414867
Thank you for the advice! My skin isn’t beautifully magically clear all the time (and I have minor rosacea) but it’s never been unbearable either, so I think I’m probably one of the lucky people. I do get isolated small breakouts, usually after applying makeup or new skin products, but the ones I get tend to stay there forever and hurt.

I worry when new products or routines make things markedly worse or cause new things to pop up, though, and then quit using them. I guess lockdown is a good excuse to stay the course, though, since I’m working from home for at least one more month.

I’ve heard that about retinol. I don’t think I’ve used it but might have tried it a long time ago as a teenager because that’s something my mom uses and probably handed me at one time or another to try.

>>10415001
>>10415141
>>10415162
>>10415172
Just wanted to see how many black gulls actually browse the board. Been feeling a bit out of touch and decided to reach out to other black people

>>10415203
>does anyone else here share my skin color. I want to feel connected
I will never understand this. I am not white, but simply feeling familiarity with someone over how much melanin their skin produces is really weird. I hope you don't actually pick friends this way.

>>10415224
Nta but it's about shared experience and culture. We can't connect on an anonymous board though.

There's nothing good on the secondhand market right now

>>10415229
How does shared experience and shared culture come about from just sharing a skin color though? There's no guarantee of living in the same country/speaking the same language/being in the same social/economic class. I probably will never understand because I was raised outside of my "traditional" culture, and I when I see someone that's my same race, I feel nothing special?

>>10415233
idk, sometimes diasporas have very unique experiences and it's nice to connect with someone who can connect with your cultural experiences. Essentially every thread is just ppl trying to find others with things in common.

>>10414802
That reminds me I'm late for my daily clit flattening.

>>10414812
If you want to spend a ton on a haul do it on a second hand Japanese market haul. They have hundreds of taobao resellers clogging up the sales. Also cheap second hand brand

>want to order stuff online
>because of the pandemic, all international shipping lines to my country except DHL and FedEx are closed
>both are ridiculously expensive, and they put you through hell in the office even under normal circumstances
>unsurprisingly, the pandemic has now put an even harsher strain on things, and there are tons of people complaining about their packages being held up for weeks
I hate life, and I hate this country.

>>10414994
>>10415203
I'm a black gull too. Nice to see we're not non-existent here

My dress that I ordered back in February and shipped in April has finally moved and the dress is finally in the states. Unfortunately depression sucks and I'm afraid it won't fit. Hoping I get the motivation to finally lose the weight as therapy has helped a lot so no longer eating as much or out of boredom. Just need that push to excercise.

>>10414802
My GPA is getting shittier each semester and I broke my ass for using a vibrator for too long inside me for that p-spot and I'm bleeding a little each time I poop.

>>10415257
man, I hate DHL, they dicked me over some circle lenses last year.

Atleast I know where to come to get a black cosplay gf

>>10415381
I get scared ordering circle lenses from HoneyColor because they only use DHL. I'm not even sure what to do if they ever get seized.

>>10415384
Same but they better be Ethiopian qts.

>>10414985
In my nightmares I imagine some newly-woke lolita remembering they have hospitality doll in black/pink or walkure in their closet and deciding to dispose of it to get it off the market

>>10415161
yeah with rarer shit like that I feel like being frugal so you can drop a load of money when something does pop up (usually for higher amounts unless you hit the lottery) seems a smarter move than just getting random mediocre stuff

I just got laid off, but at least there are no flights or hotel rooms or cosplays or dealer rooms or conventions for me to spend my no longer existent paychecks on.

>>10414973
I was really hoping for a resurgence on LM with everyone selling to make ends meet. It’s fucked up I know. A gull can dream

i have way too many clothes. i have been buying everything i want off the 2nd hand market for the past few years and i have way too many now. i must have at least 50 skirts and similar amount of OPs/JSKs. it's not like i don't have room, since i also have a walk in closet. i guess being in quarantine is making me wonder why i am buying so much. i just see something i like and don't want it to get away.

>>10415527
if you can responsibly afford it and it makes you happy I don't see a problem with that at all

>>10415463
Not aware of the drama behind hospitality doll, why would a woke lolita throw it away?

>>10415552
thanks anon. i guess i just wast sure because my really frugal friend commented on it, but i think you're right. i like having a big wardrobe and wear it every day. and i love having so many options. >>10415552

>tfw want to break up with partner
>can't because we live together and work together
>would be social, economic and mental suicide

I really dug my own grave here.

>>10415556
I've been there and left, and it was everything I was afraid it'd be but I still feel like it was worth it over spending even one more day with her.

>>10415557
I'm just going to wait it out. I don't hate her or feel she is a bad person, but we are going down very different life paths which I see as being fundamentally incompatible.

>>10415555
>frugal friend
You mean jealous friend?

>>10415563
probably lol.

>>10415556
why tf do people move in together without being engaged or married? bad idea 90% of the time. anyway. move back with parents and transfer to another dept

>>10415463
walkure SHOULD be off the market forever. you fuckin nazi lovers are disgusting

>>10415224
what are you if not white? because it's extremely common for people who are black, latino, or asian to have all or most of their friends be the same race, for cultural reasons

>>10415630
Cheaper and better than roommates.

>>10412334
Congrats anon! Same here, I’m trying to lose a few pounds.

>>10415633
I am hispanic. Like I said, I was raised outside of my "traditional" culture and my friend group is a giant mixing pot of people. I don't feel an affinity towards anyone of any skin color.

i just want to spend what little time off i have to go to a con so i can forget about retail for a minute
heres hoping sacanime doesnt cancel

>>10415384
Im with this anon, Im just trying to find a black gf. its alot easier to talk to a potential partner of the same race

>>10415630
People do, and end up adding to the divorce rate. I would rather move in and get to really know someone before I commit to marrying them.

>>10415642
good luck with that. weeb black cosplayers/lolitas will only date asians and whites from what i've ever seen. the self-hate is through the roof

>>10415233
I can't speak for other races, but for black americans we generally experience very similar things with each other no matter the background. I'm not the anon that asked if black gulls were here, but I do want to make more black weeb/lolita friends because while I do love my lighter friends, we can't exactly share makeup and hair tips and laugh about Just For Me commercials. That last one I admit though shows my age.

>>10415658
thats crazy, but hey theres still a chance

>>10415636
that's uncommon though. the reason latinos in particular flock together is because they enjoy being able to communicate in spanish with each other. same with a lot of asians and their ethnic languages.

>>10415658
I don't think it's about self hate, but other factors that can vary.
>black men are known to be very agressive and some dont like that
>Fetish for other races
>Other races like white and Asian are more likely to be into the same things you are into. This was the reason I didn't have many black friends myself, I liked more than just DBZ.
and this one is personal, I'm not attracted to black men because they remind me of family. It may come from the fact that growing up, the only other black people I knew were family members so when I see another black person, because they look like me my mind automatically goes to "cousin." So it'd feel weird to date a cousin.

>>10415665
I respect that desu I thought the same thing until i met my first at a con and now im over it

>>10415636
Seconding the other anon as it is very unusual to see an Hispanic person not engaged socially with other Hispanics.
You also better know Spanish well because you WILL get bullied hard if you don't, especially if you happen to descended from Mexicans.

t. Mexican national in the U.S.
>>10415642
I strongly advise you to read this >>10415665, don't engage in shitty behavior that will enforce stereotypes to other people onto you, and be more chivalrous as women, especially black women, do notice this strongly, even the smallest little things like leaving a nice note, or so.

>>10415691
>to other people onto you
Damn my retard ESL self that appears sometimes; meant
>by other people onto you

>>10415691
Crazy that im reading this on 4chan

>>10415662
>>10415691
Honestly I'm probably the odd one out. I'm of a lesser "known" hispanic orgin (not Mexican). I sort of understand, but I don't get it. It will always feel superficial to me. I live in America, and seeing people hang out in groups only of their skin color has always felt racist to me. Come to think of it, I avoid groups that look too homogeneous in general.

>>10415743
>seeing people hang out in groups only of their skin color has always felt racist to me.
So hanging out with family is racist? It's one thing if they ONLY hang out with the same race but otherwise it's like seeing a group of girls hang out together and call it sexist.

>>10415743
genuine question, are you white-passing?

>>10415665
which race of men are NOT aggressive? i feel like that's a gender thing, not a race thing

>>10415759
You're not wrong, but we are talking about black men specifically. Black people, among themselves/ourselves are pushed to be strong, dominant and agressive because if not, we're taught the world will take advantage of you and fuck you up. This goes for both men and women which is why you also hear about black women being one of the most disliked females out of other races. Men tend to want feminine and submissive women and blacks (generally) are not, and will fight back. For black women who ARE submissive and lean into those feminine ways, may not want that powerful agressive nature that black men have.

Of course something like this >>10415673 can happen, and of course what I say isn't always the case, but it's a peek as to what it's often like. It also doesn't help when others try to pair you up with people of your same race because " YOU TWO WOULD LOOK SO CUTE TOGETHER." and not because they genuinely would be compatible with each other. Hated that shit in high school.

>>10415232
patience dear grasshopper
Also stop posting the same thing in all the threads

Ugh, my partner is really touchy to begin with
but idk how to put it nicely without sounding like a snob that laying on the couch with your feet on my name brand mf dress is not cute. Nor is playing with my hair after i have spent an hour curling it... I love them but im not as affectionate and work really hard to have nice things!

>>10415556
I had the same issue, we occasionally worked together and lived together.
All my friends were also his friends.
It took me a long time to get the courage to do it.
It was so much easier than I ever imagined,
we had a normal ass conversation for the first time of our relationship.
We are still very friendly and I feel free & unburdened.

>>10415630
You are stupid.
Not everyones end goal is marriage & living together is a good indicator on compatibility

>>10415805
have you considered dating someone else who is also a high maintenance whiner? it's not gonna work out otherwise

>>10415805
Mine was the same way. Explain to them that a lot of effort goes into being cute and you love them, but you don't want your work to immediately go to waste.
I personally compromised with my partner by asking him to let me know if he wants to specifically cuddle sometime and I'll just wear something cute but lower effort if I haven't already gotten ready, or do it in the immediate future. It's worked for us. Don't let it go on! You'll resent them.

>>10415805
kek just say it nicely. Phrase it as a joke, dont look annoyed.

>>10415805
I had a similar experience but we can be more blunt with each other. I simply told him that this shit is expensive/time consuming please don't mess with it. I don't touch your $700 VR set with cheetodust hands.

>>10415743
I'm the second anon you replied, but not going to lie it is an unconscious form of racism to only hang out with fellow Hispanics if one knows English well.
If one is a dummy ESL like I who is still trying to perfect their English skills, it is inherent to hang out often with fellow Hispanics desu, but nonetheless it is a duty to learn the language in order to communicate with non-Hispanics, i.e., the majority of Americans.
>>10415745
Calm down, anon.
I'm going to second with you with the "ONLY" part, though.

>>10415759
Younger East Asian men? Some types of Whites too like the Nordics outside of black metal dudes like Varg, maybe.
Thinking about it, non-aggresive men are truly something new that has never been seen before, huh?

>>10415866
>East asian men

East Asian men are passive aggressive as fuck towards women. Can't speak for nordics.

>>10415866
>Younger East Asian men?
hahahahaha. no. asian men are aggressive and abusive as shit in private. young korean men especially are fucking sociopaths these days.

>>10415866
Men of all races suck and I don’t believe there’s any correlation between race and aggression within the sex. That’s one of the reasons I really hate all the current beatifying of black men by the sjws — black men do commit violent crime, and so do white men, and Asian men, and Native American men, and mixed race men, and men who dress like women, and every other kind of testicle-haver. It is way worse to be a woman in most of the world in terms of personal freedoms and safety than it is to be a black man in America and I really don’t feel like championing men of any race while that is true

>>10415866
Somewhat ironic. Currently live in Japan and the girls I've dated said they wanted to date a white guy because Japanese men are extremely mean and unchivarlous.

They go on and on about レディーズファースト (ladies first) culture that Japanese men lack. Japanese men will not open doors, will not vacate seats, will not pay for dates, will not step in to assist a girl being harassed etc and basically anything which is normalised chivalrous behaviour in the West.

>>10415878
This post annoys me because (as an Asian woman myself) I generally think Asian women who prefer dating white guys are ridiculous and self-hating and that a boycott of white men is the best way to go, but honestly when you put it that way a boycott of men in general would be better

>>10415868
Well, that is unexpected since I thought they were passive given the things that are said in the weeb boards about them with regards to the younger Japanese men.
Can't come up with anything to my best knowledge so, shikata ga nai with finding non-aggresive men.

>>10415878
Not saying this is a huge sample size, but I’ve dated 2 Japanese guys, 1 Japanese-American in California and the other a guy I met in Japan but who had lived in the US, and they were both the most “chivalrous” guys I’ve gone out with. Of course I appreciate courtesy but the one born in Japan could really be annoying about it. I don’t think most people would appreciate being told that someone is doing things for you because they think you are more fragile or sensitive, as he sometimes would.

>>10415878
I believe you, but I do think it’s weird since I dated two men from Japan, and they both treated me better than any guy I’ve dated except my current boyfriend.

>>10415893
To be fair the types of men who date foreigners and the types of men who date Japanese girls are probably a little different. Obviously there's some overlap in both groups, but men open to dating foreigners are probably more "cosmopolitan".

>>10415886
My sample is obviously biased, but most girls in Japan chasing specifically white guys are justifying it with "Japanese guys are just so mean and white guys treat me like a lady." They might just be rebelling against society or their parents or drinking too much of the white stereotype kool-aid, I knew one girl who just wanted a cute haafu baby, I don't know for sure.

I think it's okay if they have a physical preference for white, I have a physical preference for East Asian so it works out. But, I think their doomed if they believe the quality of white guys in Japan, (the 僕のyellow fever submissive waifu types), is any higher than the quality of the Japanese men.

>>10415891
>>10415893
I think most Japanese guys who make the trip to the west are in the minority but I can't say for sure.

>>10415895
this

>>10415887
What the? Meant for >>10415871 but also to the other anons now.
I'm in shock to see all of the things you are all writing, anons. In which the worst part is that there is absolutely no culture nor ethnicity whatsoever that is truly and genuinely chivalrous to women.

This topic and new information is unironically giving me ideas to write something about it, though. This has to change.

>>10415901
Chivalry comes from traditional gender roles, you can't have one without the other. If we present ourselves as strong, independent and in charge of our own lives, the instinct for men to help and protect us in minor ways fades.

>>10415902
disagree

>>10415904
nayrt but they're right. A guy has no reason to be 'chivalrous' to a woman who has her stuff sorted.

>>10415878
I'm in California where a lot of Japanese come to work or for business trips, and I confirm that dating them has been unpleasant as a whole. They expect the woman to pay for shit which shocked me as other types of Asian guys would never, and yeah there's ZERO concept of romance. Definitely the least "traditional" type of Asian guys I have ever met, and for me, that's a bad thing.

>>10415901
My country, mostly because of communism and it’s politics of everyone being able to work, has nearly none of that chivalry bullshit. Maybe older generation, but people my age just treat everyone nearly the same. If I open the door first, I hold it open, if my male friend does, he holds it. We really don’t need that useless fake chivalry, it’s common niceness and politeness we need.

>>10415895
>>10415896
Yeah, that makes a lot of sense and is probably true. It’s still interesting, though.

>>10415906
>They expect the woman to pay for shit

As a woman, I never get why women complain about this. I've split the bill on every date I've ever been on, and now living with my boyfriend we take turns paying the full bill. If you're on a date with a man who clearly makes much more money than you I can see being annoyed, but otherwise why should the man pay? It's not like he inherently has more money than you.

>>10415902
>>10415905
You're right but I'd like to put a different spin on it. Why not be chivalrous to each other? Adopt these habits not as a form of feeling empowered over another but instead out of respect for one another?

>>10415910
Well, that is a very western concept, and I should have prefaced by saying I'm very traditional myself. That's why I opt for men from Asia instead of Americans in the first place.

>>10415910
NTA but lot of chinese men expect for you to pay for the whole dinner. Even in the US, a lot of traditional men are very bratty.

>>10415915
Well fair enough, you do you.

>>10415910
As a guy, I think if I chose the venue for the date, let me pay. Let me be generous and show that side.

If a girl chose a venue and it was expensive, lmao pay for yourself. Or if we went to Starbucks or something, it's a couple of dollars, pay for yourself.

>>10415911
Mixture of culture, tradition and biology.

>>10415911
I agree with you. Also, people should really hold doors open for each other in general, that’s not really chivalry so much as it’s just being polite.

>>10415919
Where is it that men only hold the doors open for women anyway? I hear Americans talk about it a lot, is it an American thing? I'm from a European country where everyone holds the door open for everyone, and now I live in the UK where things seem to be the same.

>>10415910
Not that anon but it's a habit that's been passed down from previous generations and media still projects this idea. Though today we are seeing it less and less because women can pay for themselves. Those who still uphold the custom are usually doing it because "they're supposed to" and are taught that this determines "worth". A man displaying that he can provide and "respects" the woman or thinks that it's a way of buying sex out of her. I agree though, splitting the bills is best unless one of you really wants to pay out of kindness. I admit I've done it as a power move.

>>10415920
Ayrt, I’m American, let me try to explain it in a way that makes sense. Most people think that men should hold the door open for women, though in practice this has kind of faded, my father doesn’t even do this for my mother and apparently never has and they’re boomers. I myself hold doors open for people often because it’s less than a minute out of my day and I’m happy to do it, but a surprising amount of people just walk by and don’t say thanks, I’d be willing to bet they don’t return the favor with other people. So I really don’t think it’s a thing that happens in general, just sometimes men will do it to try and impress their dates and that’s all really.

>>10415920
I guess it is an American concept. It was taught to young men as a form of manners. Hold the door open, pull out the woman's chair, pay for her, basically a way of showing off those peacock feathers. In turn, when married the woman is to serve the man by cooking, cleaning etc. Mind you these are becoming outdated now.

>>10415916
No one should expect they they will be paid for on a date, exemption maybe when the other party invites them to a specific place. On a date when I’m told that they pay for me I just say that they don’t have to, but if they insist I drop it. When someone want to pay for you just let them, don’t expect it tho.

>>10415926
Personally I’m traditional enough to think that a man should always pay for the first date. After that though it should be split or alternated, provided both people are working

>>10415924
>but a surprising amount of people just walk by and don’t say thanks
What the hell, why would you even expect that? It’s common courtesy to open doors, if people thanked me for it it would be awkward. But I think it’s the same as with smiling. I felt really disturbed when everyone on the street smiled at me for no reason, but I was asked if I’m unwell because I wasn’t. Then I was told I was impolite and mean.

>>10415928
are you a psychopath?

>>10415924
>>10415925
That's interesting to hear. My home country is definitely pretty sexist (or was 15-20 years ago, it's not so bad now), but we don't really have a "dating culture" in the same way that Americans seem to have, so maybe that's why we don't have those particular hangups. Chivalry is not really a thing with men here, it's more like they expect a girlfriend to act like a mother while giving nothing in return.

>>10415926
I expect it and if the guy doesn't, then he won't be getting a second date with me because we don't have the same way of thinking. Simple as that. People can have different standards and that's okay.

>>10415928
literal autism

>>10415928
I live in Texas and it's pretty standard that people smile, nod or say thanks for things like that.

>>10415929
No, just an European. If you smile at complete strangers on the street here people would think you are either a literal retard, drunk or high.

>>10415930
>it's more like they expect a girlfriend to act like a mother while giving nothing in return.
Oh don't worry, it's the same thing here it's just men here will make excuses to justify it.
>I was busy with x
>I was going to get to it later
Or my "favorite"
>Litterally do nothing and wait for it magically disappear/appear
>Bitch and whine when you keep telling them to do their part
This is why I highly suggest living with someone before you marry them. You end up learning their true habits at home.

I'm so embarrassed for what I wrote right now about doing something about it. My cultural biases blinded me about the standards of modern relationships between men and women today and I will now be more careful on what I am writing about.
Gomenasai.

>>10415936
Cultural differences exist, why are you being an ass about it?

>>10415928
It’s pretty clear you are impolite and mean, so if I’m doing something differently than you I must be doing it right

>>10415936
Are you Finnish?

>>10415938
wut

>>10415942
I'm a slow person mentally speaking, yes.
Didn't expect the thread to turn out like this, though.

>>10415936
I'm European too, you're still fucking weird.

>>10415947
To be fair we're not a monoculture. Where I'm from in Europe it's fairly normal to smile and thank people for little courtesies like holding the door open, but I've heard a lot of people from Slavic countries say that would be considered creepy in their countries.

>>10415751
This has got to be it, probably a white passing Peruvian that never got treated differently for being dark

>>10415662
I would say most of my friends are Asian American and we communicate in nothing but English because we're all inept in our parents languages

Lolita general is getting derailed so I'll post this here instead:

UPS just announced a service disruption for Louisville, KY, which is where all Yamato packages in the US are received.
My package just got there late last night and the announcement was made 5 hours later. My package hasn't moved since (normally it would already be in my state by now, because Yamato is that fast).

I hate everything.

>>10415878
I worked for a Japanese company in the US for a while (with occasional travel to Japan for events etc.) and have heard pretty much the same things from Japanese women I've known and a couple I've dated. The thing that seemed to bother them the most was the lack of any kind of affection or affirmation from Japanese guys, they felt like the "relationships" they'd had were more like being a booty call and less like an actual relationship.

>>10415906
This is interesting because when I dated a Japanese girl she always tried to pay for everything and I always felt bad about it, but when I'd pay for stuff she'd seem kind of offended by it. I thought maybe it was more of a situational thing but maybe it's cultural.

>>10416037
Don't they also cheat like crazy in Japan (both men and women)? I've heard people are really flippant over cheaters there.

>>10415821
Oh my god this. This is how i feel.

My best friend asked me to show her what lolita is. It's not her style, but just having someone take an interest in my hobbies is more than I could have ever asked for. I'm just so happy right now.

>>10415902
Chivalry comes from literally just being physically different than men. If a man grabs my butt, I can't beat his ass up. My boyfriend can. If I was pregnant or carrying a baby in my arms, you bet your ass I'd want my boyfriend to hold doors for me and help me get out of vehicles. Women are still weaker and still give birth, regardless of the fact that we are more financially independent.

Does anyone else find opening up online... draining? It’s why I never comment on these threads, except now.
Regardless of platform, every time I rant about something personal, ppl either don’t leave responses, or act dismissive ”this is a touchy subject, let’s move on”. I dunno, it just leaves me more hurt than if I had kept it to myself.
When my family member died, someone just said something like ”sry for ur loss lol”, and immediately after that, somebody else talked about having a hangover and received a wave of responses. You know, that kind of stuff.
I want to find friends, and that probably would require being more open, but it’s mentally taxing and humiliating. I can’t deal with this shit.

>>10416073
I know you’re upset, but this is pretty inflammatory. Let’s talk about something else, okay?

>>10416075
this, i’m personally triggered by it and can’t handle any emotional labor.
dae CHEESE???

>>10416070
You're not wrong, but modern women do try their hardest to eliminate any difference between themselves and men in anything but the most superficial layer. The examples you give set a very low bar, and in these cases (especially being pregnant) your "weakness" is obviously on display so a man will feel the need to step in. It's just that the more we try to hide our feminine nature, the less obvious it will feel for a man to do anything for us.

>>10416066
That’s nice anon! It’s great to be able to talk to your friends about your interests even if they don’t share them.

Last time one of my friends asked me about lolita it turned out she was just looking for costume inspiration for her steampunk OC and I found out she saved a bunch of my wardrobe pics to her character’s Pinterest board. It was weird.

>>10416073
You're not the only one. I tend to avoid sharing my emotions on the internet, especially 4chan, because people tend to just be bullies to make themselves feel strong or compare your problems to other things, to make you feel small.

"Being vulnerable == bad" and "having feelings == weakness" in many people's minds. Which is stupid. Keep being you. The world really doesn't need more emotionally-sterile assholes.

>>10416063
I've heard that about Japanese guys, not as much with women. I've heard stories from both men and women about how there are these "virginity collector" guys who'll lead a girl on for like a month, fuck her once, and then move on to the next virgin they can find. The girl I dated lost hers to a guy like that, then dated one douchey-sounding guy in college (basically the same shit you hear a lot, made her pay for everything, pretty much just used her for sex, was never romantic or affectionate), and when I met her she was 28 and hadn't had sex or a date in five years, and this seemed to be a pretty common story.

It's interesting because this kind of mirrors my own experiences dating American women and those of other guys I know and I suspect it's a big part of why WMJF relationships have gotten so much more common in recent years, each side has what the other is looking for and can't find at home.

>>10416073
Yeah, I definitely do. I opened up about something pretty severe a week or so ago and I've been kind of melancholy ever since, talking to other people about your problems kind of makes you self-analyze and realize things you hadn't thought about before and I'm still reeling from it.

>>10416073
I can relate anon, but there are people that get offended very easily and you never know how the other person will react to your response. It sucks but many people just want to avoid drama in general.

>>10416084
>I tend to avoid sharing my emotions on the internet, especially 4chan, because people tend to just be bullies to make themselves feel strong or compare your problems to other things, to make you feel small.
True. Probably because it’s more easy to do online.
>”Being vulnerable == bad" and "having feelings == weakness" in many people's minds. Which is stupid.
It’s insanely widespread attitude, which is kinda scary to think about.
>Keep being you. The world really doesn't need more emotionally-sterile assholes.
Thanks! You have no idea how much this eased my mind.

>>10416090
Well, I suppose that’s the case sometimes. Flame wars can get very nasty.

>>10416093
Ayrt, they sure do

This conversation about Asian men is helping me cure my yellow fever. I'm sure not all men are like this but it's definitely good to keep in mind
>>10416087
>Virgin collector
That's so fucked. You would think that value on virginity would have died at this point thanks to science and psychology findings around the whole ordeal but men would rather keep taking the blue pill about this shit.

>>10416122
I don't think it's really fair to judge Asian men in general by this stuff, Japan has a uniquely fucked up dating culture right now and even there it's only a small percentage of guys.

The thing that really scares me is that I can't escape the feeling that America is becoming more and more like Japan. Relationship and sexual activity rates are plummeting and more and more people are finding themselves alone and totally lost about how to fix that, and despite /r9k/ types claiming it's only a male problem it's affecting women really badly too. Something really needs to change before we also end up in a situation like theirs but I'm not sure it's even possible to fix it, at least not for our generation.

>>10416087
i used to be a virgin collector, but i'm a woman. my city has a lot of FOB asians.

>>10416141
I read that as Fall Out Boy

>>10416128
I feel that a big part of relationship issues is cost. Weddings are expensive, raising children is expensive and we live in a generation of debt and low wages. Those statstics do say that it's not so much we're having sex and relationships less, but we're having them much later in life. I was just asking a friend how she was able to afford having her baby as a single mother. She said it's because medicare will help pay for he costs only if you are single. If you're married, you don't get anything because it's assumed you have a joint income and don't need it. I haven't looked into it yet if that's true yet but I wouldn't be suprised since welfare here in the states seems to favor the poor specifically and not people in general who may need help. I remember being denied food stamps years ago because I had the "potential" to make enough money when I was working a door-to-door sales job. I only got paid when I made a sale and that didn't happen as often to keep me steady. But if I were to have kids as a single mother then I would qualify.

>>10416073
It doesn't work for everyone anon. Some people find venting to the world at large to be helpful.. Sounds like you don't. Also a lot of people are here to shoot the shit about unimportant things and aren't mental ready for heavy stuff. If you want someone ready for heavy stuff all the time,no shade, get a therapist. I got one and it's helping a lot.

>>10416144
That might be some of it but I think there's a more fundamental issue with how the genders interact with one another right now. For various reasons there's a huge number of guys who simply aren't comfortable being assertive with women, and not many women who are comfortable being assertive enough with guys to make up for it and haven't quite learned how to interpret guys' intentions when they're not aggressive about them. On top of that we're bombarded on both sides by an endless stream of guys doing fucked up shit and being exposed and punished for it, so guys end up even more scared that they'll do something that'll be misinterpreted and women are more and more suspicious of every guy they encounter. It ends up screwing both genders over and leaving way too many people lonely and unloved, and sadly I don't really see how we can change it.

>>10416128
I think the reasoning is that since the 60's with women divorcing more, we have a culture that one takes marriage more seriously, but at the same time doesn't feel committed to marry.

We understand the psychology of relationships much more than before. We have this huge understanding of "red flags" and don't have to be coerced into relationships with people we don't have to. 21 century dating has changed a lot, and there isn't such a pressure to date or marry, which is why there's a lot more single and/or virgins. A lot of people chose to have single lives when that wasn't as possible as before. And people are now trying to figure out whether or not people not having as much relationships and sex as before is a good or bad thing.
You have people more comfortable with breaking gender roles than before, and so everyone is just now trying to adjust to this new set of rules and cues.

>>10416128
in japan at least, it's less the stressors of marriage and more the stressors of working. less people are getting married or being in relationships because 25% of younger population are parasite singles, living at home and taking a part time job to afford their living expenses. japanese culture has been the same as the US was in the 50s for the past 40 years or so and with that, societal pressures are really strong.

>>10416020
Said derail is very interesting but thanks for the PSA, good anon.

>>10416073
You have to go somewhere else like /adv/ since this board isn't very good for personal stuff outside of the lolita topic.
Yeah yeah, I know how shitty /adv/ can be as they always tell you to kill yourself, but it is always worth a try as there are some helpful anons here and there.

I also wished I were a clinical social worker or related so as to help some anons with professional advice without stating I am an LCSW, but y'know all of this shilling about using social workers as shields against the mentally ill instead of cops has literally killed my interest in the field.
Also, making friends takes time so don't be an autist who is going to say personal stuff from the first day. You have to talk about SFW, non-personal stuff in order to make friends since not everyone wants to be a free emotional supporter from the first day in a similar fashion to how some women don't want to be an emotional supporter to some insecure asshole.

>>10416144
>>10416187
I think economics are also a big part of this but maybe in a slightly different way. We're still clinging to Boomer values about when somebody is "worth dating" or whatever, but they simply don't make sense anymore. I can't really speak for how girls are treated about it but as guys everything is about "nobody will want you until..." and these days that "until" doesn't come for a lot of people until well into their thirties. It's not just financial either, there's also a whole lot of "no girl will want you if you're sad" and so on, and it's basically gotten to the point where a huge percentage of us are convinced we're not good enough for anybody, and at best you end up as somebody with decent accomplishments on paper but a massive gaping emotional hole and a severe lack of romantic experience. I'm not even by any means the worst for this, I've had a long-term live together relationship and stuff, and even I feel crushed by this stuff so I can only imagine how it is for guys who didn't even have that.

>>10413912
Houston Lolita Society

I hate niggers and pronounfags

My dad financially abuses me and I have no idea how to get free from the situation. I'm afraid if I pursue legal action I'll lose and be rendered homeless due to legal fees.

Just had to ultimate dream dresses arrive in the mail and I got super emotional about it. They're even more beautiful in person than I expected and I am so happy...I fucking love this fashion.

>>10416221
**two
i am an idiot

>>10416221
What dresses are they anon?

>>10416219
What does your support network look like? Even if you have no one, you can contact family law lawyers and they can help you with temporary supports. This is also legitimate abuse, please keep that in mind. Sometimes we think it's not valid enough because it's not physical. Domestic violence shelters and foundations will help you. Don't do anything now, but contact someone and they will help you create an exit plan.

>>10416219
Contact a women’s shelter in your area.

>>10416219
There's gotta be some way to take control of his finances. Even if you don't use the power to financially abuse him, you could make sure he can't do much if any harm to you anymore

>>10416219 #
What does your support network look like? Even if you have no one, you can contact a family lawyer and they can help you with temporary support. This is also legitimate abuse, please keep that in mind. Sometimes we think it's not valid enough because it's not physical. Domestic violence shelters and foundations will help you. Don't do anything now, but contact someone and they will help you create an exit plan.

I finally have the waist and the money to actually enjoy the fashion and I bought tons of brand recently, only to realize my stupid fucking tits will NEVER look good in lolita. No matter what I do, unless I get surgery, I'll be an ugly cow. A binder came in today and I thought it'd be the solution I needed but it just looks like a slightly better sports bra on me. My tits are still there, just squashed and loafy. I hate this.

>>10416228
>>10416229
Thank you for the advice. I think I'll contact one of the shelters in my area tomorrow.

My coord looks cute but my face isn't

>>10416234
Why can’t you wear a different fashion?

>>10416239
I can but I wanted to wear lolita.

Will the drama in the cosplay community ever end? I'm tired of having to deal with mentally unstable people that will stir up problems and complaints for nothing, not to mention the power play.

>>10416128
i can believe that relationship/marriage rates are going down here, but is that really true for sex? every decent looking person i know sleeps around like crazy and men fill dating apps to the brim looking for hookups...

>>10416238
put on a cute face mask

>>10416234
I feel you on the tits. 76 cm waist and 103 bust makes this shit hard to not look like a loaf. I bought a minimizer bra but I must have not gotten the right size because it feels like it hasn't changed much.
>>10416239
I do but lolita syncs with my personality. I have the body of someone that's supposed to be sexy but I don't want to be. I want to look cute and conservative with how much skin and my figure is shown.

>>10416254
There will always be someone who views everything as a competition, or someone who sees it as an opportunity to have some influence for once in their life. The trick is to just stay around people you know are chill.

>>10416262
The simple black face mask that I have currently looks weirdly big and doesn't fit/suit my face well. Idk if that's the case with all face masks, but I hope not

>>10416260
There was a study/survey about it a while ago. The short version conclusion was that people think everyone else is having more sex than they are. Everyone says "hookup culture," its really about people talking more about sex than actually having sex.

>>10416290
That's literally all good masks. It's supposed to completely cover your face from nose to chin, because its to keep you from getting sick.

>>10416290
get one that fits better. try to buy from an asian site since they use them more often (they're common not just during pandemic, but when you're sick).

>>10416303
I fell for this perception and ended up having a ton of sex for a year though, thinking I was missing out on something. I wisened up but when I tell people the kill count I had that year alone they are uniformly shocked lol

>>10416260
Everybody I know is on Tinder and whatever but very few actually seem to have any success. I only know a couple of guys who actually get laid there and they're both uncommonly attractive and hook up with pretty trashy girls. They're also both self-obsessed narcissistic douchebags who can never get a girl to sleep with them more than once. The single girls I know aren't much better off either, the only ones I know who get any action and the ones who hook up with skeezy guys like the aforementioned ones and they just get burned over and over again by it. I think you can kind of get an idea of the state of things from sites like OKC as well, just browsing through it I've been seeing the exact same girls on there for years and plenty of them seem like totally solid dating material.

>>10416260
Look at current Japanese sex stats. 60% of men don't have regular sex, 40% of women don't have regular sex. That means that there is a minority of men fucking the majority of women. Same goes on in the west, this is proven greatly by dating site data. The top percentile of men gets their pick of the women because the women only want the top percentile of men. So the other men get left with nothing, and the women who won't settle for less than top percntile get left as well because they won't take that bottom 60%.

>>10416234
>>10416270
tfw no giant titted cow girl gf

>>10416330
Actual attractive man here, this is a gross oversimplification that needs to stop being parroted

>>10416333
>actual attractive man here

Post pics faggot.

>>10416333
As a physically attractive sperg, I agree.

>>10416330
>That means that there is a minority of men fucking the majority of women.
Is this strictly a heterosexual finding?

>>10416340
I believe so.

>>10416333
>>10416337
Pics or GTFO.

>>10416337
No one who claims they're attractive on 4chan is ever actually attractive. It's the classic "I'd rate myself a 7/10"

>>10416334
>>10416343
Kiss my ass. The handful of guys out there who look like Jimmy Garoppolo or Pierce Brosnan aren't living like King Solomon with giant harems. Trust me.

>>10416351
lmao confirmed ugly

>>10416333
>>10416351
I'll back this up. Dating sites and their results are a bad metric because not everybody is on them, and not everybody is matching on them. Those guys who get the most matches, they're not the best-looking guys or the most successful ones, they're the most persistent ones, the guys that swipe or message every single girl they can stomach the thought of banging, who pay for premium so they can have unlimited swipes, etc. Matches don't actually mean hookups either, I've had hundreds, maybe thousands in my years on Tinder and I've never hooked up with anybody.

My real-world experience doesn't match the /r9k/ perception either. I know people who hook up a lot and they're not at all what you'd think. They're obnoxious sleazy guys, most of them fat, with a lot of persistence and low standards, and the girls they hook up with aren't the ones you or I would probably go for. I also know a bunch of really conventionally attractive guys and they don't get anywhere near the action you'd imagine they do, except for a couple who just have once a month one night stands with girls they pick up at clubs.

From what I've seen, both on dating sites and in my real life, if you're 25+ and not already in a relationship you're gonna end up spending a long time single and celibate regardless of gender or how you look, especially if you have any kind of standards. The people hooking up on dating sites are a tiny percentage of the population and don't really reflect reality.

>>10416343
>>10416345
I mean I based it on what other people have told me in the past, I've been compared to various male celebrities that are all considered quite attractive so there's probably a bit of truth to the idea.
Don't feel like selfposting because I have friends that browse(d) this place.

>>10416361
>I'm attractive, I swear, but I'm not going to prove it

>>10416351
>>10416361
Whatever you say uggos

>>10416356
>if you're 25+
more like 30+, but otherwise correct

>>10416371
Seething

>>10416384
Might depend on your region or social circle, in mine it really was the mid-20s. I know people who got out of relationships and immediately into another one after that but everybody who was single for any length of time stayed that way for ages.

You know what I'm not that anon but Im 23 and think Im attractive enough to post on this board

>this thread
/cgl/ is so fucking smart holy shit

>>10416407
Post a serious face instead of that you ding dong

>>10416407
post gigantic black penis or gtfo

>>10416407
Eh black/10

I'm very poor at telling what is an attractive black person since to me you all look alike.

>>10416407
You might look handsome if you weren't making a dumbass face with a caterpillar on your upper lip

>>10416413
>>10416434
I dont post serious faces the only way anyone catches me with a not dumb as bricks look is if im reading or caught up in something, its just who i am

>>10416417
no

>>10416418
Dont strain yourself anon im just not your type attractive

>>10416407
>not a cosplayer
>not a lolita
why are you even here

>>10416439
>First day of con
>Literally just taking a pic in the hotel room
dont be unfun man

>>10416435
>the only way anyone catches me with a not dumb as bricks look is if im reading or caught up in something, its just who i am
Why are you like this

>>10416456
life is too short to not be having fun

>>10415937
Actual male:
>It's fine.
>You're too fussy.
>Don't overwork yourself.
I'm sorry, I don't want to live in your pigsty.

>>10416491
Some girls can be retarded when it comes to cleanliness. I'm not an unclean person because I can't think properly if things are unclean or messy but I've had to tell my current girlfriend off multiple times for helicoptering over me when cleaning because I don't do it the same way she does even if the result is the exact same.

Here's something related to J-fash for once. One of my favorite stores Rivet + Surge just closed down. I assumed it had to do with coronavirus. I always wanted to order a lucky pack from them, but I was too late and would say maybe next year. At least there are still a lot of pieces I can buy second-hand online.

>>10416961

New thread.

>>10415630
Try it before you buy it anon

>>10413900
Shocker

Damn, even AZ isn't that stupid and we're second to last in education

>>10413773
It looks like a bralet that I bought at Love culture for 2.99