/cgl/ - Cosplay & EGL

Friends let friends leave lolita if that's what they want. There are plenty of girls in my comm that wouldn't hang out with me (and vice versa) if I wasn't in lolita, but the strong friendships that I have made I hope will last for a long time, regardless if you're in frills or not.

You can't really be a super active and valid part of the community as an ex-lolita, because you aren't a lolita anymore. But that's okay, and if it's really not your thing it's better to sell your stuff and spend the money on something that will make your heart happy.

Humans are cowards in the face of happiness! Go do what you feel is best!

If you're not enjoying it, then good friends help you through this time.

Lolita is a huge part of many people's lives, and for others it's just clothes. Everyone is different and takes the news of a friend leaving the fashion differently, but I do hope that your IRL friends will be kind and understanding, and maybe helpful.

If you're feeling guilt about your wardrobe, hold onto a handful of your favourite pieces, just in case. If you absolutely do not wear them at all, you might have the opportunity to pass them on to friends who would cherish them and give them a new lease of life.

I've always considered that I'll probably wear the fashion or some variant of it forever, but I know that's not for everyone. Even if I loved how someone looked in lolita, if I deeply envied how fantastic they were and how much I was inspired by them, even if they were my twinning bff, I would not persuade them to stay if their heart was no longer in it, and especially if it made them miserable and anxious. I hope your friends can offer this kind of understanding.

I really hope all will be well, and that you can focus on new hobbies that make you less stressed and much happier. Good luck anon!

>>10028446
It depends on how you act after you quit. I have been in the fashion several years and some girls just ended up ghosting the comm while others just slowly stopped coming. Even if we hung out outside of lolita then they'd show up less. They'd complain about us talking about lolita too much and about the fasion in general.

If you'd leave I would advice you to not put on jade coloured glasses. Just because lolita is not your thing anymore doesn't mean you didn't have a great time and made nice friends while you wore it. It hurts when a friend suddenly acts as if they never had fun with the fashion you bonded with them over. Definitely don't try to get others to quit as well. If you are going to keep bringing up how troublesome the fashion was and how great is you left you are going to make your friends feel bad about a hobby they love.

Try and keep one or two coords and show up from time to time. That way you'll also be invited to birthday events and such. And try to keep in touch.

>>10028481
This x 100. A girl left our comm and lolita once and started cutting off all her friends from the comm for no clear reason other than not wearing lolita anymore.

Of course there is still life after lolita! I left because of spending way too much and not having the actual energy to wear it. If you don't want to completely leave you can dable into other japanese fashions and might enjoy them even more.

Yeah it might seem tough to let go of everything but in the end you can still lurk around cgl and just see what everyone is up to. This method really just gives me my "fix" so to speak, and that way i can save my money while enjoying the things that are happening in the community. It's like I never left!

>>10028481
Thisss had this happen with a couple of friends.

I personally don't really wear lolita at all anymore, but I still go to all the casual meets in some casual j-fash and everyone's cool with me

I was a goth for probably 15 years. When I "left", I didn't sever ties with any of my frirends from the scene... I didn't get rid of the clothing I still liked... I didn't stop listening to the music that spoke to me.. I was just sick of the drama and the clubs and the scene and the bitchy elitism and the new styles and dyeing my hair and didn't have enough interest anymore. I think the same thing can easily apply to lolita. You don't have to go cold turkey or pretend it was never important to you. Cherry-pick the things you still like, whether that means clothes or people or just an interest in art or tea or whatever, and translate them into the rest of your life.

If they were leaving for a bad reason like someone made them feel ugly or too old, I would try to convince them otherwise, but if they were just tired of it/the expense/the discomfort that's understandable. I've definitely felt that way.

>>10028744
OT but if you still have the clothes you liked, and still listened to goth music, how did you "leave"? You don't have to go to clubs or be part of the scene to be goth.

>>10028446
Indeed they don't, my child.
Remember. We must stay faithful to our Gods.
Try to speak to them and ask them why they wish to stray from the right path. And remind them the love Misako and Mana have for us. Do not fear, I can assure you they'll have mercy on her soul as soon as she repents.
A good lolita never leaves. This is betrayal and an ultimate sin.

Indeed they don't, my child.
Remember. We must stay faithful to our Gods.
Try to speak to her and ask why she wishes to stray from the right path. Remind her the love Misako and Mana have for us. Do not fear, for they'll have mercy on her soul as soon as she repents.
A good lolita doesn't leave. This is betrayal,the ultimate sin.