/cgl/ - Cosplay & EGL

>>10015645
I feel the same. I find so much inspiration looking through old GLB, or even just yesterday, looking through Meta's lolita-chan archives.

>>10015714
The coord you posted was boring and common even for its time

>>10015645
The lens of nostalgia you're looking at everything through? I do know what you mean, but I feel that it's probably because we have a fondness for past things, and were overexposed these days to literally everyone with a camera phone

>>10015645
This is the lolita version of "born in the wrong generation" kids. Coord in the wrong generation!

>>10015755
Nayrt, but god forbid we should like something not OTT. You're exactly what's wrong with lolita these days. Too many people trying to get attention for being more ~unique~ than everyone else.

>>10015645
Lolita has become more "polished" and OTT to the point where it kinda lost that specific vibe it had before imo. It also used to be more experimental so there's that too.
Nowadays I feel like it looks less and less like something you can wear daily for the most part.
Oh,and also the fabric changed, chiffon is more popular today compared to cotton before (same for the lace)

>>10015797
That's what the Japanese lolitas want though. For some reason they want the synthetics.

>>10015779
There was some anon griping recently about how all the girls are into oldschool lately and that it's a fad. I didn't want to believe because there's a girl in my comm who loves oldschool and it flatters her form so well and she looks just like a walking streetsnap from KERA - but alas... I think she might just be one of the few who genuinely love it and have a good reason to. It's really starting to get popular again out of nowhere.

>>10015924
I think it's part nostalgia and part a reaction to the current trends. I wear oldschool and it's mostly because I just stopped being interested in most new releases after about 2014 or so and fell back on the styles that made me fall in love with lolita in the first place. I personally find it more flattering and easy to wear as well. The only other girl I know personally who dabbles in oldschool at all is also older and not a fan of current trends. I hope it doesn't catch on with younger lolitas, I don't wanna have to compete for oldschool pieces.

>>10015645
Because everyone who's left is so fucking boring and tedious.

Nobody got into this style because they wanted to follow rules and social expectations. They didn't give a shit about headpats and "well dones" from bitches who talked behind their backs. But that's all it is these days.

"Lolitas" with an ounce of personality in their bones stopped publicly identifying as such a very long time ago. This community is just the fading afterimage of something much greater.

Fade faster.

>>10015791
Not OP but I was actually in lolita back then and I kind of agree. I think it's because what made us attracted to lolita is no longer popular. The brands have evolved their aesthetics. Some brands like Baby and AP found formulas that work 90% of the time.

Personally for me it used to be that lolita was interesting because it was always different. It had different pintucks, lace patterns , applique, etc, unlike a t-shirt which was always the same but with a different print. I do like lolita prints too but I feel like they take away the need/want for the designers to use more lace or pintuck or even applique designs along with them. It would look kind of weird if a print like ghost night bride came in an old school cut.

The fashion also felt very rebellious and like a street fashion. Kind of like goth was I guess.

To the people that fell in love with that lolita, new lolita looks like an unwearable costume. I still love AP with all my heart and I actually have some of these dresses but you can't deny they have become formulaic. I think even they have realized that with their recent series of re-releases.

Also, yes, AP and Baby still put out lots of interesting solids but they are much more princess and OTT party style than something you could wear on a Saturday shopping with friends.

>>10015960
i knew i was feeling bored and uninspired with lolita but i didn't realise why until i saw this post. prints are nice, but it's just the same cycle repeating itself every few years. it feels like brands aren't putting in any effort with the structure of their designs and just relying on cute patterns.

>>10015645
It's still fashion, and fashion evolves. No style is the same as it was 5-10 years ago. Even Larme, that people were blaming as being the cause in the shift in jfashion, has gotten outdated.

During the OTT sweet phase, people were complaining about how the fashion had changed.

Personally, I'm happier with how the fashion is now. I find it more comfortable than a few years back.

You're relying on top results on Instagram to determine the general view of the fashion. But it's a lot less OTT than before. It's just that people post pics from meets a lot more than pics from daily wear.

>>10015956
This is the same for me. I discovered lolita in 2001 and started wearing it in 2004 and seriously, it's very rare that I felt interested in lolita releases after about 2008... I still love the fashion though, I just prefer wearing what made me fall in love with lolita in the first place.

>>10015958
High five, friend, iktf. Facebook lolitas (in particular) remind me of high school cheerleaders. So many of them kinda look the same even when they don't look the same, and so many of the younger less experienced ones are dying to fit in at the expense of their own personalities, conceding any actual taste they might have for acceptance by the masses.

Lolita used to be street fashion, something you could wear daily. Now it's mostly something you wear for special occasions.

Also inspiration source has changed, before it was street snaps, now it's really flattering photoshopped photos. It's not that natural anymore.

>>10016013
Oh my god you hit the nail on the head perfectly! I knew it was street fashion vs OTT perfection but I never put two and two together with the street snaps and Photoshop/apps. Also every meet up turns into a special photoshoot instead of like here's just our outfits.

It also makes me really think about the difference in just how the girls look on general. In the old snaps they looked a lot more natural, even with wigs and hair. Now everything is contact lenses and eyelid tape. They look like night and day.

>>10015794
They never mentioned it being too simple though... it just does't have anything original or experimental and I think it wouldn't be too far trom today's toned down coords.

I think it's because people, especially online, figured out a formula that always looks good (e.g. tights that match the blouse, bag that matches the shoes, always wear something on your head and so on). Such a coord looks very balanced and it's relatively easy to create, so many people went with it. The result is that today most people expect to see coords that follow these coording rules. Everything that doesn't, unless it's OTT or extremely well done, gets told to revert back and adhere to the rules. The more you see something the more you like it (mere exposure effect) and that's why experimental outfits are """banned""": people are not used to them anymore and tend to reject them. I also agree that people are getting more and more perfectionist, so they might wear more experimental or streetstyle lolita, but they don't post it and as a result others don't get to see it. That's how lolita, or at least online lolita, has become a special occasion fashion instead of a streetstyle one.

Ps. these are only my opinions of course! Feel free to tell me what you think about it.

It felt more like a fun, almost childish hobby at first. People took pics of them actually doing fun things, like picnics and just wandering around in lolita. Now it's like, everything has to be done for a reason.. people don't seem to think they can just put on lolita and go to the grocery store, or a library... there has to be a "reason". But before people were just happy to wear the clothes, even if it wasn't a full set, or even if they didn't have anywhere special to go.

Lolita used to be about fun. When daily lolita on lj was still the place to go, 90% of the outfits were bad by today's standards but it didn't matter because it was less about being perfect but more about the excitement of just wearing the clothes and being part of the online community and talking to other like minded people. Around 2010 tumblr became really popular and you could already see a shift of many lolitas migrating towards tumblr. Because of tumblr's nature, interaction between people became less and the rise of smartphones also contributed to the fact that everyone favored the image microblogging platform instead of a journal based community. As a result lot of posts on tumblr would be more polished, more people had access to better cameras and editing tools, so this a time when the standards rose quickly and the fact that tumblr was about likes and reblog turned it quickly into a competition. By 2013 the lj community had completely died. Tumblr was at its height, Facebook groups like COF became more popular as a means to replace the dead livejournal groups. Things started to look brighter for a while, while tumblr turned out to be used for the more polished photoshoot posts, COF was more relaxed and the social interaction was somewhat better than on tumblr. But that didn't last long because by 2015 everyone had to move to the next online platform, which was instagram (by which time tumblr also had died). And this is where things got seriously worse. After a while everyone figured out their filters, poses and their angles. And this is where we are at today. There is nothing left to chance anymore, everything has to be calculated. If there is some stray hair in your face or your pose is a bit awkward you will be called out for it. If it doesn't look like a nice instagram-I-pretend-to-have-a-perfect-life-platform edited picture you will be called out for it. There is no fun about it anymore.

>>10016118
I still think there are some of us still out there, we just either choose not to, or don't really have a place in which to share photos, like Daily Lolita on LJ or anything like that. I wear lolita daily, even when I don't have anything to do, and I honestly couldn't care less about looking instragram perfect or anything. I just like wearing the clothes. Sometimes I think it would be fun to share my outfits, and occasionally I share little snippets of them not tied to my name (I don't have facebook) just because I took a small snapshot of some pretty part of my skirt or lace or something, but most of all I don't think people care about things that aren't perfect, impractical-for-daily-wear coords.

>>10016127
>but most of all I don't think people care about things that aren't perfect

I think it's a vicious cycle: people think others don't care for everyday lolita, so they don't post it, so nobody sees it, thus getting to the same conclusion (everyday lolita is not worth attention), they don't post as well, and so on. In the end, only OTT and refined coords remain.

>>10016128
I honestly don't care what people think about my coords or me, and if there was a place that multiple people posted daily coords, I'd do it in a heartbeat. Sadly I don't use facebook, nor do I want to... I had an account that got deleted because I didn't want to use a real name nor give them my phone number. ANYWAY, I've seen time and time again people complaining that a coord is "too simple" or "too basic" over and over and over. I think you are right that it's a vicious cycle. Perhaps I'll make a blog and start posting my coords, or maybe even use DL on LJ. I don't care about likes or reblogs or anything, I just want to inspire others to share their coords... for fun.

>>10016128
I post my casual coords on cof because I want to show people that casual deserves a place there and in social media, but I have to admit it is disheartening when I just get some likes and no comments. People only comment if you have something special about your coord like a goddamn carousel music box attached to a stick and I'm not about that for everyday looks. But I will continue in my silent protest (as long as cof mods don't delete my posts for not being lolita enough)

>>10016118
>>10016127
i wholeheartedly agree.
i know what i'm about to say might rustle some jimmies but the ita thread, while entertaining and still mostly actual itas, has a lot of nitpicks, fatties who are working on losing weight, and people who are wearing something practical that might not match but otherwise have a good coord, and various other photos that you would not submit to a modelling job. I don't want to dismiss the importance of putting effort into your coords, but when someone decides to chuck their daily outfits on social media and shitpost a meme in the caption or take a comm dab group photo they're not trying to be perfect, they're just having fun in nice clothes. some of the e fame girls on ig, while absolutely beautiful, write captions like mark zuckerberg talks and i would not want to be friends with them. you don't have to make everything you post a professional photoshoot to be a good lolita. pic related is an example, it was clearly taken in the moment with a strange jacket but you can still tell she loves what she does.
>inb4 sorry you got posted

>>10016131
People have suggested DL before but not enough traffic means it didn’t last long. The better way is to use the platforms that are popular to show the Lolita you like wearing.

>>10016134
Iirc one mod at least posts her casual stuff sometimes so you do have her in your corner.

>>10016131
> I've seen time and time again people complaining that a coord is "too simple" or "too basic" over and over and over.
This is such a stupid critic, it really annoys me. Lolita shouldn't necessarily be OTT or extremely detailed... if someone like it this way it's okay, but they should never use "too toned down" as concrit. What about instagram btw? You don't need your real name and accounts that post often gets rewarded by more traffic (usually).

>>10016134
We should create (or join, if it already exist) a group where people really post their DAILY coords. The daily part in CoF has gone long ago...

>>10015645
Because stupid rich Chinese lolitas dominate the market. They have the absolute trashiest of fucking tastes and like the most uninspired shit because we all know that modern Chinese people biologically lack the ability to innovate, and instead just fucking imitate whatever the fuck they can. I fucking hate China, why the fuck is it not nuked off the face of the earth yet? Yes, I'm fucking mad. These rich bitches have zero tastes and don't even know how to coord half of the time; they're hardly even into the fashion but just like buying it to flex on their impoverished peers. They don't care how it looks like, they don't care about making something unique and special, all they fucking care about is buying as much shit as they can and making one uniform look to show that yes, they CAN afford the whole set and don't need to stoop to the level of peasants by re-using assets from other sets or off-brand accessories.

Fuck China. How do I get Trump mad enough at them to launch a nuke directly into General Mao's fucking ass hole? Pic related, it's probably what a China lolita would think makes a cute fucking print, but also a shitty fucking imitation of what it's supposed to even be. Fuck China. Fuck Mao.

>>10016154
lol poorfag

>>10016156
Fuck off chink, you were better sticking to your dollar happy meal priced taobao shit. Stop influencing brands to make your shitty prints. You guys buy out any release. AP could release Fantasy DingDong tomorrow and it'll sell out entirely because the Chinese market will eat that shit up.

>>10016154
To be fair, Mao killed off a generation of intellectuals and discouraged the next generation from thinking for themselves. Independent thought isn’t a thing and herd mentality rules, because that’s how you avoid disappearing into a govt facility.

>>10016159
>AP could release Fantasy DingDong tomorrow

Thank you for making my afternoon anon.

>>10016101
I agree with you hold heartily, I do enjoy wearing lolita as a street fashion. If I do tho I tend not to post it unless on my Instagram, the moment anyone sees me covering up a jsk with a pink motor jacket and wearing tights that don't match the whole entire outfit its ita chan all day long for me.

>>10016154
Dude... chill...

>>10016154
No dont chill , this is to funny

>>10016174
did you mean racist lol

>>10016135
I honestly think seeing pictures like this is way more fun than seeing conlita posts and super OTT things. I was looking through Meta's lolita-chan archive the other day and loved it so much, but I couldn't help thinking that other people would be posting most of them to the ita thread because they weren't absolutely perfect shots or super elaborate coords with cakes in their hair, etc. Just simple, everyday lolita with girls that wore the clothing for fun, not for follows and likes.

>>10015924
>It's really starting to get popular again out of nowhere.
It's been like that since at least 2015. I remember only 2 years prior some members of my comm made jokes and borderline gossiped about my taste for meta's lace monsters when OTT-classic was more a thing. Then, when oldschool got more popular and more talked about on here, the same people suddently made statements like OP and started buying oldschool. But people slowly start to move into the next trend, aka gothic/moitie now. It's very annoying.

>>10016154
Your autistic screeching is hilarious, stay mad poorfag

>>10016144
You still need a phone number which fb connects to your real name.

>>10016154
Trump already has. Get ready for import taxes on your shitty taobao.

>>10015837
Lolita is dying in Japan desu they don’t even want it, it just seems like the more shit is being made in a taobao style for the Chinese lolitas, who seem to actually wear it way more now lol

>>10016306
Aww no I thats terrible. Why dont the Japanese want to wear lolita anymore

My real question is, why do people think the big brands still influence the style? The fashion's growth is undoubtedly owed in part to brands like AP and Baby, but handmade and small house designers are, for me at least, keeping the heart in the fashion.

There are a lot of indie brands cropping up, both within Japan and overseas, in the last few years, and they're the ones to watch if the big brand's quality and creativity follows the same trend as the last few years. This mean it'd be a good idea to start supporting smaller brands, whether that's garment makers or accessory makers. Is it a risk if they don't have the reputation of bigger brands? Maybe, but check out reviews, and give designers feedback on what you receive. There's some great stuff out there.

On another note, social media is a huge factor in why Lolita seems less interesting as time goes on.

1. People are afraid to be experimental in case it's ita and they're posted here. I'm not saying every "weird" coord is good, and I'm not saying we should coddle anyone, but more that people worry about it way more than they should. It's not a big deal to be posted. Some people will love an experimental coord and others will want to burn it. So much of fashion is love or hate, and that's okay.

2. People thrive on the dopamine hit of getting internet points and post nothing but impractical OTT outfits. Most people like to dress up for big meets or events, but even within Japan there's a whole phenomenon of people dressing up in a coord just for a photo for social media indoors. It's across different fashions and it's affecting even goth and other alt fashions. There's a really sweet resurgence of people posting candid or semi-candid meetup photos where not everyone is picture perfect or posing, and it's really nice to see the fashion in a realistic setting, people wearing it just to meet with friends and have fun.

Sorry for rant, but maybe there's something in there that makes sense.

>>10016311
I can't seem to find scans/translations of it, but there was an interview with the designer of Vierge Vampur in one issue of Otome no Sewing and she pretty much said she started sewing the dresses she always wanted to wear, or something to that effect. I wish it was easier to buy from VV, but it really inspired me to start making my own stuff. I'm nowhere near good enough to sell it, and I'm not interested in the stress of it, but it's a great feeling to make something new. It makes the fashion so much more personal.

>>10016177
It's not racist you moron, they're not hating on Asians in general, just the shittiness of Chinese culture.

>>10016311
> why do people think the big brands still influence the style? The fashion's growth is undoubtedly owed in part to brands like AP and Baby, but handmade and small house designers are, for me at least, keeping the heart in the fashion.

Most indie brands put out just a few dresses a year, sometimes overpriced and/or not on par with brand, they get almost zero resonance withing lolita communities and news group, mainly sell only in their own countries. There are exceptions, obviously, but I honestly don't think indie designers influence lolita at all, especially talking about dresses designs and trends.

Maybe it's just because I'm personally a gothic lolita, so it's just what I tend to see, but I feel like a lot of the girls that have been into gothic for a while (and aren't just following the trend) are the ones that are more likely to treat lolita like a daily fashion. Even if their coords are more polished and follow current styling beliefs, they still get dressed up to go to a bar with friends, or get groceries, or even just to go to McDonald's. I know a lot of sweet lolitas say they don't get dressed up for everyday occasions because it takes them so long, whereas for me, and all my gothic friends, it takes us maybe thirty minutes to get our coords ready. Not to say there aren't gothic lolitas that look like they spend hours getting ready, but it doesn't seem as common with as it does with sweet.

>>10016135
>I don't want to dismiss the importance of putting effort into your coords, but when someone decides to chuck their daily outfits on social media and shitpost a meme in the caption or take a comm dab group photo they're not trying to be perfect, they're just having fun in nice clothes
/cgl/ is so anal about having fun in photos, too. You'll see people bitching about girls dabbing in photos, saying it's cringy, and how they hate when meets devolve into girls just talking about their hobbies, and doing silly things. They treat lolita like it's a full-time job, and everything has to be serious business all the time, or you're embarrassing yourself.

>>10016335
I think it just depends. As a sweet lolita, I also spend about 30 minutes getting ready. I tend to stick to super casual coords for daily use and minimal makeup (eyeliner, mascara, lipgloss) and once I have a coord in mind it doesn't take long to put on.
I also go for that oldschool, almost unpolished feel, so my coord isn't some perfect beautiful OTT masterpiece like what's posted online now.
But people doing OTT sweet (or OTT anything, really) are, of course, going to take much longer to get ready.
I think there's a lot of sweet, casual lolitas who don't take long to get ready, the problem is that none of us want to post about our coords and experiences and lives because we're not "real" lolitas, we're "too casual"!! We're afraid of getting talked shit about or disliked so the sweet lolitas that stand out are the ones that spend hours getting ready for a coord that looks like some costume.

>>10016335
I'm an old school daily lolita and it takes me about 30 minutes to get ready. And actually getting dressed takes less time out of that time than showering/doing makeup.

>>10016154
>t. korean

>>10016306
Ok so I see this parroted by some anons but where are the receipts?

Are you living in japan, and have you been involved with the community for years to really track its popularity? Or have you just read that online, maybe visited harajuku once, and thus declared that lolita is on its death bed?

Lolita has changed. I'm not saying that for its changed for the better or worse, but it has changed. That also doesn't mean it's dying. Lolitas might not hang out in harajuku on sundays, but Atelier Pierrot just opted a shop in Shinjuku, and many other shops are still thriving. I think it's kind of amazing how many shops are left, considering the rise of internet shopping and the fact that lolita is still a niche market.

>>10016311

I noticed on a lot of normie fashion blogs and vlogs that people semi joke about how their outfits are a 'social media lie.' The mindset that fashion is just an IG photo is really prevalent in most fashion now.

>>10016306
No, I follow a lot of them on Twitter. One girl even said she wouldn't consider buying cats tea party unless it was synthetic.

>>10015755
I fucking hate how lolitas need prints splattered over everything now and can't appreciate simplicity or casual wearability. You're basically what OP thinks is wrong with modern lolita.

>>10015794
Wtf? OP wants to see more "groovy and inspired", not the savest old-school coords

>>10016141
>People have suggested DL before
I haven't seen those suggestions here but I assume you mean daily lolita on livejournal? You may not get likes and comments on there, but you are more likely to show up in google search results when someone looks for worn pics of a brand you're wearing

>>10016468
Sorry but this thread is about originality, not copying old brand ads and street snaps without an idea of your own

>>10016478
not that anon but it's about current lolita being uninspiring and what the difference is between now and in the past.

Either way, not everyone's idea of inspiring is going to be the same, so while it may not be original, perhaps anon felt inspired by it. Or maybe they meant that it, and coords of the past times, were more inspiring? I don't know, just discussing.

Everything is super polished: poses are flattering, there aren't even single wringle or roll in the dress (even when some cases there should be), everything matches and there's ton of filters (sometimes you can't even tell what colour the dress is supposed to be).

When you go through some lolitas feed it looks more like a catalog than actual fashion, even some popular ones have this problem. I want more action shots, not glamour pose ones which show the whole coord from front.

>>10015645
>What’s different now, gulls?
You're older, jaded, and transforming into a Cool Wine Aunt.

>>10016323
even if it is racist, is she wrong?

>>10016575
It's this, the same reason why people romanticize their first love/teenage days/first conventions, etc. You're more emotional and hormonal, and your memories were more impactful and vivid back then. Things are always the best when you first step into it.

Not to say that people's dislikes can't be for purely aesthetic reasons. But if they never ever feel the same way as they did when they first started, then this is the reason.

>>10016465
Do you have any recommendations for follows?

The only thing that inspires me now is more traditional and old-school looks.
I really like Ophelia's posts and even her blog is reminiscent of the old days of glory. I'm happy to see more lolita's on the FB group styling themselves with more of that same feel too.
Imo the newer releases just lack the same charm, and as others have said further up, this new Instagram phase is so stale and lifeless. It's too perfect to the point that it's not wearable and makes it look like a costume.
I mean if some people like that look, great whatever you do you. But the lolitas who inspire me and get my likes and follows are the ones who actually look like they're living a life in those clothes and making the fashion their own.

>>10016315 I find this mentality inspiring too.

>>10016575
>>10016597
Right? Like, wear what you want to wear, whatever makes YOU happy. If you like simple oldschool, cool, wear it. if you like casual lolita, wear it. If you like old school pieces, track them down secondhand or learn to sew your own, nobody's forcing you to buy AP's newest sugar chiffon cross garbage. You should be in this hobby because you enjoy wearing the clothes on yourself, not because of whatever flavor of the month style is popular on social media.

>>10016657
I like you. Most of the people here aren't going to agree with you because this is the "youth get off my lawn thread" but I like your attitude. It reminds me of what the real spirit of lolita is about. I hope a dream dress with a good price comes your way.

>>10016328
Most indie designers I know also tend to mimic Japanese brands or when they do get experimental with a print, the quality of the artwork is very low. Then they price their dresses at brand prices and it’s honestly just not worth it, because I could just buy from the brands they’re mimicking or get weird low quality prints from Taobao for a fraction of the price. I wish more indie designers focused on texture, construction details and quality lace instead of churning out plain polyester JSKs with an uninspired print on them.

>>10016526
Idk what she meant because that coord has always been basic, ever since it came out. I love solids but it's dumb to act like that dress was something original or inspired.

>>10016714
Yes! Specially since the lack of solids lately(at least in sweet? And even from what little I know about gothic,you're just getting an ugly forest print from moitie). I also want appliqués to make a comeback.

>>10016741
moitie doesnt have any forest prints

>>10016743
They probably meant Sleeping Garden.

>>10016657
This is how I have always been in regards to fashion. I wear what I like despite current trends, etc. Sometimes I feel I should post my outfits somewhere... maybe I should make a blog.

>>10015797
I like chiffon, but I hate how almost everything is now made of it or "chiffon"

This topic is oddly coming up a lot lately, but I agree with everyone in this thread when it comes to the amount of people who will shit on others having fun. I mean,this is the site where that is common for other hobbies - just look at /ck/. But in our case, it really does seem to be deterring people from having fun which is pretty fucking sad.

Like oh, better not take a non cookie cutter photo because I might get posted somewhere. And then in comes the mentality that we're all secretly evil towards each other. To the point where if a girl at a meet up asks to take your photo, you hesitate to before answering yes or no because you fear that if you say yes, you'll surely be betrayed later on and if you say no, you'll come off like a thin skinned scaredy cat.

And since there is just no way to be involved with the online community without taking a hit, more and more people in the community go into hiding and stop going to meets. I met someone recently who told me she has 5 dresses sitting in her closet, never getting worn because when she tried to join our local comm, she got shat upon consistently. I see so many gulls admit to be lonelitas and that they'd never post on CoF.

There's just no way to avoid people lashing out online.

And because of what this place and the rest of the internet has become, you may never get to see worn photos of a print or non print you wanted to see unless you get the damn dress yourself.

It's like there is a segregation starting of girls who can take the heat to be e famous and then those who you'll never know of unless you visit their comm.

>>10017042
This pretty much, I dress in old school velveteen pieces that are pretty rare and will stand out of group photos at comm events cause I just don't want to deal. They're only ever posted inside the members only group on fb, but I don't want to take chances. Instead I'll offer to take photos for people or have someone take a photo of me with my phone for my memories, but I have zero desire of sharing it online.

>>10017042
>if a girl at a meet up asks to take your photo, you hesitate to before answering yes or no because you fear that if you say yes, you'll surely be betrayed later on and if you say no, you'll come off like a thin skinned scaredy cat.
>And since there is just no way to be involved with the online community without taking a hit,
I guess my experience is totally different from yours because I can’t relate to these at all, and I’ve been active in both my local comm and the online comm for close to ten years. Sure some people are thirsty for drama and will try to make mountains out of molehills but I’ve always found them easy to ignore.

>>10017163
I have to agree, I read some of these mean girls bullying tactics and I’m like, this seriously happens?

>>10017163
>I’ve been active in both my local comm and the online comm for close to ten years
And you've never gotten a mean comment from someone online or are you just saying it doesn't effect you, because those are two different things.

>>10017165
I can't relate to it either actually, but it does happen. I've seen it happen. It has not happened to me because I don't post online but the reason I don't post online is because I know it will find it's way here.

Sometimes I think, I should just be brave and say fuck it, and do all of my ideas. But at the same time I have a job I don't want to loose for the sake of being brave online.

>>10017042
>the mentality that we're all secretly evil towards each other
You kind of sound like you have that mentality... Like why would you assume anyone cares if you don't want to be in a picture? And how would they betray you? What do you mean by "taking a hit"? Has that ever actually happened to you? I know people can be cruel on cgl, but 99% of my comm never gets posted here. The other 1% get posted because they spam their own pictures everywhere they can.

>she got shat upon consistently
Sounds like your local comm has massive issues and does not represent the entire lolita comm

>>10017352
Are you for real? These are common issues that happen in comms all the time.

>>10017373
I've been part of 3 comms and have never seen it happen to others or experienced it. I think some people here are just basing their ''experience'' on cgl.

>>10017373
Getting betrayed happens to you all the time?

>>10017373
Never happened to me or anyone I know of.....

>>10017392
where did I say it happened to me? I didn't.

>>10017490
It's happened to someone I know and I've read stories posted on here about similar instances.

>>10017391
It's not my experience, I don't know why I have to stress this so hard.

>>10017352
Which mentality are you talking about? One where you have to hide in order to not be posted here or one where people feel the need to post others here?

I'm glad none of your comm gets posted here but there have been numerous examples of girls getting posted here who don't post publicly. I'm not sure why everyone is pretending like this never happens.

Go check the archives damn.

>>10017498
In your original comment you make it sound like it's the norm. It happens rarely and only on cgl. It's easy to just not go on cgl or ita/cof threads if it bothers you.

>>10017042
>if a girl at a meet up asks to take your photo, you hesitate to before answering yes or no because you fear that if you say yes, you'll surely be betrayed later on
>since there is just no way to be involved with the online community without taking a hit
Please explain what you mean by this, because to me it just sounds like you spend too much time on cgl and it has made you paranoid

>>10015984
where do you get clothes now that remind you of old lolita?

>>10017523
I mean if you want to be famous you'll have to take the amount of heat that comes with. You can't just be a popular lolita without people hating you for no reason. And you never know who is going to be the flavor of the week for cgl to hate on but there is always someone new that crops up and cgl goes fucking rabid.
Again, you can check the archives. This is VERY common on here. I'm not paranoid if it's bound to happen to others then yes, it'd happen to me too. Paranoia is when you are worried about something irrational happening. This is very real and does happen. I don't care how many anons come out of the woodwork to say it's never happened to them. I literally watched it happen on this board for fucking years now.

>>10017517
>rare and only on cgl
Why are you acting like BtB and the farm don't exist?

>>10017633
Hours of looking at second hand sites.

>>10017091
>, I dress in old school velveteen pieces that are pretty rare and will stand out of group photos at comm events cause I just don't want to deal.
That's such a shame anon. These are my favorite pieces too see worn photos of.

This makes me wonder how much of this exists in other hobbies. Are there multiple shittalking venues for say, model train enthusiasts? Knitters?
I guess it's more personal to people too because it's your face in the photos and not just something you made. You end up with people complaining about your nose, fat, and other stuff that's not really part of showing off the coordinate.

>>10017640
I'm super new, do you have any favorite sites?

>>10017643
I will say that for my other niche hobby (which is craft related) there was a forum where the shit-talking got so out of hand the entire scene split into two completely separate forums, each with its own drama and which refused to even permit the mention of the other group. It's now almost 10 years later and they still aren't on speaking terms, but a third group has sprung up on facebook and is attracting most of the beginners and scammers and an awful lot of talentless self-righteous religious nutjobs, so it's kind of like poison from all sides no matter where you turn.

>>10017635
I didn't realise you were talking about being a popular/e-famous lolita. What you're talking about is the same for people in any hobby that want to be popular/e-famous though. It's not specific to lolita and it's not something that just started happening in the last 5 years.

>Why are you acting like BtB and the farm don't exist?
Nayrt but most lolitas don't go there.

>>10017643
There is a lot of drama and feuding in my local shooting club and the neighbourhood watch.

>>10017319
Ayrt, the meanest anon comments I’ve gotten online is that a certain cardigan made me look fat or that my shoes were fugly. That’s hardly something that would scare me away from participating in the online community. I’ve never had bad experiences with my local comm.

>>10017643
There used to be incredible drama on ravelry re: knitting vs. crochet. Whenever you have a group of people there will be drama, it doesn't matter what the group is for, either. Drama happens because there is always going to be that one person that simply isn't happy unless they're complaining about something.
They're usually the person loudly proclaiming how much they hate drama, which makes them easy to spot.

>>10017910
>most lolitas don't go there.
Not in my experience. I hear it talked about more openly than cgl that's for sure.

>>10017922
A bunch of anons coming out of the woodwork to talk about how nothing bad happened to them isn't going to make it any less true.

>>10017664
Holy wow, without outing yourself can you give any hints as to what this hobby was?

>>10019151
i wanna know too

>>10016335
This is me. I am a gothic lolita <have been sence 2015> and wear it daily. This means going to cafes , get drinks after work or just shopping in general. I live in a very open party type city, so I dont get many looks. But I absolutely love lolita and have for many years.

>>10019130
If most lolitas still went btb there would be more activity. I mean, look at ruffllechat posts that get more than 100 comments even though it's a topic that's been talked about many times and your real name and pictures are attached. And I'm not saying nobody goes to lolcow but I'm sure the majority of my comm does not even know what it is. Maybe something happened in your comm that made it well-known?

>>10016308
Because of tourists treating them like animals in a zoo.

>>10016311
Which Japanese brands have been popping up in the last few years?

>>10019548
That's not exclusive to lolitas though, from my understanding this is about all alt fashion kids and especially in Harajuku. They're still out there but they hang out in different places now; honestly can't blame them.

>>10015645
Normies discovered it and ruined it just like everything else. Everything must be posted on social media for attention. Look at all the furries,cosplayers, and littles on Tik Tok

>>10019479
I'm just saying that in my experience, girls will talk openly about BtB but they will only whisper about cgl so to speak.

They have different stigmas but they still cause the same kind of problems.

>>10019718
Why is that? Why is cgl scarier to them than btb?

>>10019769
I'm not even sure? I've all heard them talk about BtB and how they don't like what is posted there but they /really/ don't like talking about cgl. Like people will talk about it here and there but they usually just bury it by talking about other stuff instead really quickly.

And it's the same fucking shit as far as I'm concerned. BtB might as well be cgl the sequel.

>>10018202
>Whenever you have a group of people there will be drama
Whenever you have a group of women you mean
male-dominated spaces don't have this problem it's cunts that are too retarded to live and let live

>>10019877
I'm sorry you couldn't find a gf mate, but thinking girls are cunts won't take you anywhere

I draw all my insp from FRUITS-kinda old sbaps with shittons of old school lolita that looked comfy, badass and beautiful without rules.

The rebellion is gone. The "it" thing nowdays is to do it by the book, and that's what kills this fashion.
The organic feel is gone. The experimentation, freeness and rebellion.

All gone.

>>10019885
Sbaps, lol, got so emotional I lost my ability to type.

>>10019718
>>10019790
Because btb/lolita secrets used to be funny. There were a lot more "real" secrets (confessions by the secret makers about themselves>>10019877
) instead of just complaining about others

>>10019718
>>10019790
Because btb/lolita secrets used to be funny. There were a lot more "real" secrets (confessions by the secret makers about themselves) instead of just complaining about others

>>10019790
Because when you talk about it openly it still doesn't please people in here lol. I used to be so open about posting here and proud of "speaking my opinion" and I felt like it was okay to participate because I actually tripped and didn't hide my identity. I stopped because it was awful and mean but it still left a paper trail of me being a bad person posting on here and people developed a really bad view of my personality with actual proof of me doing shitty things.

I've grown as a person since then and I wear lolita every day actually. But I'm not very interested in sharing my outfits anymore because I know it won't really bring me happiness anyways.

BTB and lolita secrets would be fun if they were like confessions or talking about horrible new dresses etc. And sometimes they are. But when you offend or humiliate someone, especially if under anonymity, can you really be surprised that people think you're a shitty person?

>>10019885
It's only gone if you feel like it is, anon. All of those clothes that charmed you and inspired you still exist in the world. They might be a bit old and damaged now, but if you care enough, you can find them. You don't need to rebel to truly love something. And if you love rebellion, well, there are so many other ways you can do that too. Wearing lolita is only one way.

>>10019904
Nayrt, I think that by "gone" anon means the attitude that the subculture used to have, not that the clothes themselves are completely gone. And I kinda get it, although I don't wear the fashion like they did in the early days of FRUITS, like >>10019885 does. I miss the days when lolitas were on par with goths and other alternative "weirdos" rather than Disney princesses or worse, sissies and "littles".

>>10019955
I understand what they meant, which is why I wrote that there are other ways of rebellion if lolita no longer suits them. For example, I've gotten so much happiness out of exploring and supporting local music in my city - it's not popular and people think it's weird and stupid sometimes, but it makes me happy to be part of something special and support people making unique and creative things. I can wear lolita while doing that if I choose to, or not. It's okay to miss the way the community used to be but I think it's silly to be nostalgic for a feeling that still very much exists today if you go and look for it, it might just not specifically be the one thing that you loved growing up anymore.

>>10017652
Mercari, Closet Child, Yahoo Japan Auctions
>>10019877
Kek, as though the alt-right and the Libertarian party aren’t full of attention whores and drama.

>>10019877
As if men aren't busy killing each other over dumb shit lmao.

>>10019981
That's very true, actually. Good point, and a good idea too, I may start doing something similar myself. Thank you, anon.

>>10019999
You're welcome! I hope that you find something else that makes you just as happy. And then if you wear lolita in your spare time, it brings some of the magic back because it's still unusual to everyone else, after all!

>>10019955
Idk m8 that pic just looks like me and my comm friends on a night out. I think it depends where and when you hang out whether people will see you as alt or princessy. A group of girls having a tea party in a beautiful tea room is fun and awesome, but it totally has princess vibes compared to those same girls laughing as they stumble out of a concert and into a nearby goth club at 1am, even if they're wearing the same coords at both events.

>>10019877
>Whenever you have a group of women you mean
>male-dominated spaces don't have this problem
Anon that is engaging in a 95% male hobby here. You wish. There's just as much drama elsewhere. Although I find the pettiness level isn't as high.

>>10019955
OT, what is this screencap from?

>>10020015
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ntaBQy1Crp8

>>10019892
This isn't really what we were talking about but nice try looking for an excuse to talk about yourself.

>>10019899
The amount of shitty justification on this board is kind of amazing though. Like yeah, you'd think if these people were so fucking adamant about being able to shit on people they'd at least own up to it but instead its always "oh but I'm just critiquing!!!!" Even though there consistently comments like "that whole thing you're wearing is garbage, you should throw it in the trash and start over kek"

>>10020044
Well we are lolitas, so that's kind of inherently narcissistic. Sorry my views aren't exactly what you want them to be, lol

>>10020048
>lolita is inherently narcissistic
Nice projection

>>10020048
Had nothing to do with your views. You're literally talking about unrelated shit and yourself.

>>10020050
It's absolutely projection. Lolita is a form of wearing your worst quality on the outside. That's like... the entire plot of Shimotsuma Monogatari, which everyone ITT is apparently so obsessed with emulating.

>>10020055
>Lolita is a form of wearing your worst quality on the outside
Are lace and frills equal to one's worst personality traits? The fuck are you talking about?

>>10020055
You sound a bit cray for some reason

>>10020064
I'm really high desu
>sage for shitposting

At some point I realized I could be just as happy spending hundreds and thousands of dollars on actual high brands with western recognition that I enjoy wearing just as much if not more than EGL.

>>10020929
Another one bites the dust

>>10020929
Write it in the confession thread...? It's off topic...

>>10020929
I'm the opposite lol. Started from highfash looks and ended up with egl

>>10020929
Why would you even wear lolita if you care that much about recognition?