/cgl/ - Cosplay & EGL

>stories and / or drama from your comm?
Lonelita here, requesting the juicy gossip.

>>9983437
There's a girl in my comm that posts here and she likes to vague talk about this place at meets and it is the most annoying thing.

It would be different if she just flat out talked about cgl but instead she likes to allude to coming here and makes vague comments and references to this place.

If you're gonna talk about coming here stop being a chicken shit and say it outright.

You sound fucking lame talking about cgl like it's your secret club.

And I know she posts here cause she posts in the self post thread.

I have lately picked up organizing meets for my comm but damn it's such an ungrateful task. We have small comm so organizing a meet requires booking a cafe and picking a place to meet up at a spesific time and the first is most of the time optional because the meets are usually so small. However, most people are complaining how it's such a bother to organize them but then don't show up to mine or cancel in the last minute. I wouldn't mind but if I have booked a cafe it feels kinda bad to see multiple people cancel in the last minute like they didn't care at all if I have to go and sit there alone. They say it's so nice I'm doing it but at this point I'm out of organizing anything more complicated than checking if there is cafe near by with room. Not to mention one person who apparently loves to shit on every idea I have. Idk I just want to make my comm active and nice again and needed to went in the progress. But I guess I could use some advice on
>how to make meets more appealing without organizing anything complicated?

>>9983675
Lolitas (and people in general) are just flaky. This has been my experience too both in and out of lolita. Idk if there is a solution or what it would even be. A friend and I tried to organize (well, I had the idea and she organized because she's awesome like that) a small meet for ILD and it ended up being just the two of us. But we ended up having a good time anyways so I'm not even mad desu. Our comm is small and I know sometimes shit just happens, I've flaked out on a meet once or twice myself.

>>9983703
>it ended up being just the two of us. But we ended up having a good time anyways so I'm not even mad desu.
I wish someone was always certainly coming but I'm positive I'm going to end up being alone sooner or later. I'm totally understanding of illnesses, work, exhaustion etc but it's always multiple people canceling one right after another in the last possible minute. I would appreciate if people (especially in a small comm like mine) would take a minute to think about the organizer. I would be happy if people would say if they are still unsure about their attendance because it's miles better to know beforehand I have five people possibly not coming than five people canceling after I have booked a cafe. While I enjoy organizing meets I would rather not stress of people flaking and hold a little teaparty for me, myself and I at home than go to a cafe alone because no one showed up. Idk if this doesn't work out the community is going to have one meet in a half of a year again which feels a bit sad too? If it happens that and all the stupid drama we have had lately will probably make me heavily consider just meeting up with myself.

Ex-mod in my comm decided she didn't have to hand over the stuff people bought through her shopping service after she got demoted.

>>9983675
Find a cafe with a preset offering like high tea and make people put down a deposit for the booking. Maybe people don't feel like getting "dressed up"just for a regular cafe outing.

>>9984329
your profile picture is showing

>>9984329
You should fix your image before someone reports it.
Sounds like excuses to me. No one has forgotten about the comm debacle.

>>9983675
Just like >>9984341 said. Some type of prepaid event, even if it's a museum and you get the group rate, and ask for money in advance. You will still get people flaking (every high party I've hosted at least one person has not made it) but not at the high rate of other events. Lolitas are just so flaky and late to everything!

>>9983464
Is she new? I was uncomfortable sharing my experiences on /cgl/ with my comm at first, but I've eased into it here lately. Maybe it's the part of the world I live in--gentility and politeness rule here, and in large company, openly speaking about /cgl/ is frowned upon. But discussing it with a few gullfriends in a smaller group is okay. You have to feel out your comm a little.

>>9984363
Of course its C

>>9984380
Regardless of who it is, it’s still shitty practice to hold onto items that were paid for. I hope anon gets their dresses.

So, last january a comm member said she wants more meet ups and events where we live (we have meet ups every two months but bigger events take place in bigger cities ofc) and then left our comm group on fb and wa and unfriended our comm leader. She said nothing to anyone, she just left after complaining about having no meet ups here. Now, 9 months later, she posted in another group asking if there are any meet ups in our town. We are all confused why she is asking from other groups about meet ups in our town when she knows our comm leader and our comm. She could txt or dm any of us and she would know the date of next meet up. Or rejoin the fb group. As far as I know she had no beef or drama with anyone...

>>9984538
Maybe she thought you were elitists for not catering to her, or something along those lines. Sounds like bizarre logic, I know, but after having seen some shit that people spout, it's entirely possible.

>>9984538
Some people don't want to travel even the smallest journey, they want everything to be catered to them. It's bizarre and entitled, and they'd never dream of hosting their own meetup, they only want to complain when you host it at a location that's not on their doorstep.

>>9984329

Bahleeted. Guess Taobao peddler L has time to read cgl but not to ship out items.

>>9983849
To avoid flakes, I've hosted a few tea meets ranging in price from $15-35 per person. I paid the deposit and people would purchase tickets in advance. Attendees could give tickets to someone else but weren't refundable unless if it's an emergency situation. This seems to work out and no one has dropped out last minute.

I've also hosted small, casual meets at cafes with large amounts of seating. Bubble tea and breakfast places are a dream. I try to pick a location with a small park or arcade or shopping area to walk around afterwards. These meets tend to have as much turnout as the tea parties, and they're cheap to attend since you pay only for your drink or food that you want

A girl in my comm turned into this annoying alt-right edgelord that keeps trying to bait people into arguments so she can prove our comm is full of SJWs. Our comm is actually very level-headed and we haven't had a SJW in years. So far no one is taking the bait but she has been banned from some online groups for racism and we know she posts here complaining about our comm being LIBRULS. I wish she knew how dumb we think she is.

>>9985025
Is this Portland? I always see an anon complaining about how the PNW comms are full of SJW and that they are so awful that she couldn't stand to be part of it~~ any time someone asks about Portland or Seattle or whatever.

>>9985035
I'm pretty sure that is multiple anons, because it's true . I'm not aware of anyone alt rightish openly in the Portland comm though.

>>9985035
But it’s true lol

Tmw someone in my comm complained about not being invited to meets, but when people invite them to meets clicks "can't go" every single time.

>>9985035
sadly it is true. pdx is such a shithole when it comes to liberal sjw stuff, and I'm not even alt-right or even close.

Wouldn't be surprised if they were expecting to be personally asked to come to the event, lest they show up and have no one to cling to.

>>9985025
There are a few people like this in my comm. We do have a handful of SJWs but they’re pretty quiet and keep their opinions to themselves unless asked directly, and even the nonbinary/genderspechul ones don’t really seem to care if people “misgender” them. I think they’re pretty dumb too but they’re really easy to ignore if you don’t like them. The anti-SJWs who bring up political issues in the middle of a nice casual conversation just to complain about how horrible SJWs are are much more annoying. I’ve also noticed one of them trying to bait people on FB with blatantly untrue statements and another one sometimes complains about our comm on Rufflechat and /cgl/, but takes arguments out of context or greatly exaggerates how unreasonable the other person was. Like somehow a conversation along the lines of
>”That band does use a lot of nazi imagery, even if it’s supposed to be ironic I can imagine why people would be bothered by that or take it the wrong way”
turns into
>The SJWs in my comm literally called me a neonazi just because I listen to metal!!
I was there, I heard that conversation, that’s not what the other person said at all and they’re being a big oversensitive baby playing victim, which incidentally is what they’re always accusing “SJWs” of doing. Looks like they have more in common than they thought!

Does anyone have any landwhales in their community that constantly buys and makes sellers hold dresses they clearly won’t fit into?
There’s one in my community, she snags any and all cheap brand put up for sale. I cannot emphasise how plus size she is. She’ll buy any cheap brand in any style even though she clearly won’t fit into it.

>>9984370
>Is she new?
haha NOPE. She's been in the comm longer than I have.

The worst part is that people are usually dead pan when she mentions this stuff and no one ever laughs or responds when she does this. They talk to her about all kinds of other stuff but it's pretty obvious that NO ONE else is into her dumb inside jokes she's having with herself.

>>9983849
They are all assuming that they will be the only flake and their presence will not be missed. They're not thinking about how you feel, unfortunately. That's just the way humans are.

>>9987240
No, but I’ve seen thin girls buy whatever dress they see for 50 dollars second hand and have one blouse to coord it with. They’ll literally buy it with irreparable damage for cheap and then come into mentor groups and be like how do I coord this pls spoonfeed me

>>9984538
>didn't say anything to anyone just left
how do you know something insane didn't happen in her life?

If something crazy happened to me like, my boyfriend goes missing or I start getting death threats from some mental case - I would totally just ditch everything I know and go offline for however long I need to be safe.

Do you know this chicks personal life? Don't assume it's because of the comm.

>>9987432
Nayrt, but they did say she’s still active in other local communities.

There was a Kimura U event in LA this weekend? Deets? I didn’t even know about it, damn. No ones really posting about it either, I thought LA meets were a big thing.

>>9988902
It was 70 dollars for a "menhera lolita" tea party. Who wants to go to that?

>>99889
Anyone that's been in the comm long enough hate the girls who run it.
I think a lot of people passed on this hard.

>>9991316
(This is a reply to the Kimura U thing)

People who make their ddlg fetish public on their Facebook shouldn’t be allowed into lolita comms. Idgaf if they feel “kink shamed”

>>9991466
Agreed. I've had the pleasure of blocking several of them from my comm but I wish they'd fuck off completely.

>>9983434
I don't want anyone to take this the wrong way, but if I saw this picture being taken, I would be like a tornado ripping around those stairs, beating the shit out of every one of those people.

>>9991516
What the fuck lmao is there a right way to take that?

>>9991518
I guess I mean I don't have any ill will towards any of you. I just have a primordial thirst to destroy every person in that picture.

>>9991516
>>9991523
no offense, but are you mentally handicapped?

>>9991540
I'm not saying I am and I'm not saying I'm not, but I want to know why you're asking? I'll tell you whether I am mentally handicapped if you tell the truth about why you're asking.

Please don't acknowledge the crossboarder troll, gulls

>>9991572
I really hope you don't take this the wrong way, but honestly, how dare you?

>>9991574
That's a pretty common response actually.

Are you sure this is the board you usually post on?

>>9991576
Pretty sure. You're the people who play dress-up, right?

>>9991578
>You're the people who play dress-up, right?
Yeah, why would you be here if you weren't someone who does that? Lolita and cosplay are both groups of people who dress up for fun...

>>9991604
I didn't mean it to be derogatory. I play dress-up and this is where I belong.

>>9991605
why not just say that then? Why dance around it like you did?

Are just looking to have a chat or what.

>>9991606
I was just making sure this was the right board, the dress-up board. Looks like it is. Yes I would like to chat. How are you?

>>9988902
pictures looked terrible, why wasnt it an exclusive lolita event?

>>9991609
Kimura is really into menhera stuff.

>>9991543
Because they're a well dressed and cute crowd, you edgelord piece of shit. Even the worse coords are still better than most of what I've seen at meets in my comm

>>9991632
Then yes, I am mentally handicapped. But it could also be an inferiority complex, since I'm not even 5 feet tall and weigh less than 100 lbs despite the fact that I'm almost 30. I'll never beat anyone up and maybe that's why I want to.

Is there a Colorado comm? If so, how is it? Moving there soon.

>>9991637
Yes and it's a really good one!! I'm jealous lol, I was there for a month and it was the best comm experience I ever had. http://www.comm.com/Colorado

>>9991639
I don't know what that link is, but it's definitely not for the Colorado Lolita comm lmao.

>>9991637
There is a CO comm! I may be biased but I think it's pretty good. Things were on the slow side for a while but seem to be picking up again.

The page is "Colorado Gothic & Lolita Society Members" on fb. That's where all the meetups are organized and where all the discussion is.

>>9991609
>>9991609
Also because its pretty hard to support a brand off of lolita sales alone nowadays

>>9991632
I wonder if you think I'm not crying after being spoken to in this manner.

>>9991466
Are we in the same comm? I was just getting salty over that. What were the admins thinking letting them in?

Our meetup this weekend got cancelled thanks to Florence.

>>9991316
Who ran it? I heard about the event a month ago but noped when I saw the price of the tickets

>>9991771
Himitsu Eventos are the same people that ran Fairytale Boutique into the ground. The owner, her fake friend and her crazy mother.

>>9991849
>>9988902
I think Himitsu Events exists solely for the purpose getting attendees to pay to bring celebrities to LA so the hosts can hang out with them for a week and then throw a halfassed tea party. Regardless, I'm surprised by how disinterested people are in meeting Kimura U. I guess she's just not that important of a model?

>>9991905
Kimura U has been to LA before and yeah she isnt as popular with lolitas anymore

>>9991905
I don't to know if that's solely the purpose but they're so incompetent that I'm sure they start with good enough intentions and just ruin everything at crunch time.
I love KimuraU but the theme of this was such a mess I decided to skip.
It looks like only 25 ish people went too

>>9991695
NC/SC?

Yea I am hoping they just haven’t checked because holy shit. I am so sick of these fetishists thinking this fashion is some kind of safe haven for them

>>9987240
If you're from the UK I'm pretty sure the entire community knows who you're on about...

>>9992464
Nayrt but does her name start with S?

>>9992484
Yes

>>9992513
Kek, I figured. What makes it worse is that she's been in the fashion for a good few years at least, so there's really no excuse for not knowing better at this point. I often also see her giving shit advice to newbies, I hope they realise they shouldn't be listening to her.

>>9992484
>>9992528

Most people know by now that she's an entitled cow who will always be an ita. She hoards brand because she has more money than sense.

I'm moving to London for uni, what's the comm called?

>>9992577
If she has so much money, why doesn't she buy some nice brand though? From what I've seen, all her dresses are lame pieces that no one else wanted, so that's why they're so cheap.

>>9992579
EGL London on Facebook.

>>9992581
Thanks anon

>>9991703

What happened?

>>9992814
A hurricane

>>9992820

Damn, my bad, not American so didn't know there was a hurricane Florence.

Hope everyone stays safe.

Does anyone else not go to meet ups because your comm is ugly? Not normal ugly but like really ugly. We have so many terribly dressed people for sure, but even the okay dressed lolitas are so hideous that they look a mess.

>>9993074
I mean I still go to meets, but there are definitely some girls that, despite having passable or even good coords, still just don't look good because of their faces. I'm not especially cute in the face either, but I admit that sometimes they do make me thank my lucky stars that at least I don't have to look like that.

>>9992581

She only buys cheap things because she's tacky and wants to be able to brag about having an all brand wardrobe.

>It doesn't count if none of it actually fits you,

>>9993074
You're probably ugly too. At the very least, delusional and narcissistic.

>>9993074
I'm embarrassed to attend my con's meets because there's only like 5 people and out of those 5, one is a fucking amazon tall 40 year old woman who looks like a sissy and two fat itas who only wear bodyline. Somehow the other two girls have good style but I don't want to be seen with the others, specially with the sissy.

>>9993394
>someday I'll make it look great!

I laughed so hard at this.

>>9993394
That AP x Tangled OP is small on petite girls, what a waste

>>9991639
>>9991650
Oh awesome! Thanks for info. I’ll join the fb group, got to Colorado Springs two nights ago - gorgeous so far but dealing with some altitude sickness.

>live in Edwardsville
>St. Louis Lolita comm disbanded two years ago
>meetings and attendance were sparse anyway

I'm lonely
That's what I'm doing for Halloween
Being lonely

My comms annual Halloween tea is supposed to be October 13th, and they have no info about ticket sales yet or the venue. This is a meet set up by 2 mods. There was a summer meet up that was cancelled due to another situation, again by a mod. Why are the mods allowed to continue to moderate , when they barely attend any meets anymore, let alone host a meet? Since they’re MIA a lot they should step down.

Anyone here part of a secret comm? A private comm? A secondary comm?
Has it changed your opinion on lolita community dynamics? Do you think smaller or private communities are better? Do you appreciate lolita more in a secret comm?
Do you wish they didn't exist? Are there things that make them work/not work?

I've been in a small private secondary group for a long time and I like it way better because I can avoid newbies and normies to just enjoy my frills with my friends.

>>9994437
I am a part of a private secondary comm and I greatly prefer it. It is less of a big ordeal and more of hanging out with people I don't hate

>>9994437
I have been part of an unofficial comm for a bit. A group of people hosting private meets, usually the same-ish ppl are present and sometimes new ones that become regulars. Because it's not an official comm but just a series of random private meets it would kind of sting when I would see those same ppl at different private meets but such is the nature of those, and I figured they were probably hosted by their friend that doesn't know me so that's why I wasn't invited. Our region's comm was dead so it's basically the only way to be a lolita here. There are a ton of unoffical mini comms.

Then I moved to a place with a central active comm and it was so much better. Plenty of meets, you get to meet new people, see old people, become friends. And we would also have small friend hanf outs where we would wear jfash but it wasn't a meet, since it would be just catching up, or someone's personal celebration or something. I greatly prefer having a comm, over having to somehow try to find out about the existence of a secret comm and then try and try to get in it. It just created too many crappy feelings and thoughts about the "elitists" that won't let you in uwu.

>>9994437

Does anyone know if there are or are in any actual private comms in NYC? I know things get pretty cliquey. The main comm is so large that people split off into smaller groups of friends. It does take away the anxiety of having to introduce yourself over and over to the newbies though.

>>9994695
Yes but they don't like to admit it, and will deny it like crazy. "It's just 20 close friends!"

>>9994437
I sometimes wish we could have a subgroup only for well dressed adults so that I could avoid the embarrassing itas, screaming weebs and “Can I wear other Jfashions? Bodyline is great for menhera!” enby snowflakes, but the people I have in mind for this are super chill and don’t seem to be half as bothered by itas as I am. It’s actually the overweight fujoshi who are the self-professed “salty elitists with high standards” in my comm, and yeah... nah.

I wouldn’t mind a smaller secondary FB (or other platform) group for our local comm, though. Our page is full of lolita-at-hearts who’ve never actually worn the fashion but have a lot to say about it anyway, and haven’t found RC yet. Or maybe RC is too mean and elitist. Either way, I’m sick of every other comment being some excuse why they can’t wear the fashion they claim to love so much.
Actually screw making a secondary comm, they ought to be the ones fucking off to a new page. They should make a support group for people who are too poor or fat for lolita or whose parents won’t let them wear it, leave the rest of us alone instead of constantly guilt-tripping us.

Does anything know if there's still an Oxford (UK) comm? I moved here a couple of months and wouldn't mind checking it out if it still exists/doesn't have much drama, though last I heard of it was like 5 years ago.

>>9994748
Anyone* god damn I'm an illiterate

>>9994437
Not really private comms, but more like group chats and such. Also some friends make meets for just a select group of people. And even if you are like not their friend, but still friends with one of their friends and your coords are good and you can behave properly, you will be invited. I personally like it.
There are some cringy people in our comm who think they have a supirior knowledge of the fashion because of being born as a Lolita. Also some newbies love complaining to hosts and people don’t want to deal with them.

>>9987432
Yeah I do know her personal life, she has literally no filter... She told everything about her life to us in our group chat from the medicines she was taking for depression to what yaoi she is currently watching. And much more. She also kept posting her coords etc to other lolita groups.

>>9987432
Yes, everyone knows about her personal life, she kinda over shares. And she has shared her coords in other lolita groups even after she left our group.

>>9994931
Okay this came twice because the first time phone said it failed to send... Sorry.

I went to a 21+ sleepover meet (alcohol was being served) recently and a girl showed up who was an absolute nightmare. So this meet was at someone’s house, and they had pulled all the mattresses into the living room so everyone could sleep together. At one point this girl is jumping on the beds asking if anyone is going to join her and we are all standing there like?? No?? No one said anything, but we all sort of just glared at her. What adult goes to another persons house and jumps on the beds? Then she was super rude to a girl who was being really nice and just striking up convo with her, she asked for one of the drinks the host was making (that seemed pretty labor intensive and like a lot of stuff went into it) and she didn’t even drink it, oh and she also forgot her dress initially I guess so the host was going to let her borrow one of hers, and this girl apparently distroyed her closet. Dresses were pulled off the hangers and on the floor, socks were everywhere, and I guess she tangled up a bunch of stuff so things were all wrinkled. I definitely wont be allowing that girl to anything I host in the future.

>>9994940
Jesus, who forgets a dress for a fashion meet? No lolita, no lolita meetup.

>>9994940
Wtf. I feel terrible for that host, because my knee-jerk reaction is to be like "I would've kicked her out!" but honestly there's no way to do that without it being the defining event of the meet, and everyone will feel awkward about it after even if they were not pleased with her either. That's a literal hosting nightmare.

I hate going to meets that are hosted at someone's parent's house. You have a full wardrobe and are still living at home? Maybe stop buying so many dresses and pay rent elsewhere, this is your parent's space.
Even worse is when a parent is home and stuck staying out of the common areas. Your dad probably feels just as weird around all these fluffy people as we do around him.
I've been invited to small meets at someone's house before not knowing it was their parents house, and have felt so unsettled when the parent is forced to hide away for the hours that we are there.

>>9995249
Sorry your parents hated you, but inviting friends over is a normal thing even if you live with your parents. And maybe your parents do nothing but stay at home, but most people are fine going out for a few hours.

Also, monthly rent is more expensive than *a closet full of dresses."

>>9995249
How are any of your points any different if the person was living with a roommate? Same being unable to pay rent elsewhere, same being stuck staying out of common areas when fluffy people are over, same feeling of feeling weird around all these fluffy people and vice-versa, same being forced to hide away for hours.

Like these are just things that happen when someone else in the house has guests that don't overlap with your social circle.

Also this is probably a cultural thing, but I don't see the issue of parents and children co-habitating (especially when the children don't have their own children/family). It seems logical to save on rent if you can.

>>9995270
nayrt
If the host was a good friend it's ok I think. If it's a rando comm member and they don't disclose it, I think it would be very weird. I'm also not sure a roommate would be the same, as roommates tend to be around the same age?
Either way... I would rather go to a public place than a house that isn't theirs.

>>9995270
>>9995276
Inviting friends over is okay, yes. Inviting strangers for a meet doesn't seem okay. I don't know where you are but housing around here is about the price of one dress if you decide to live with a roommate or partner. Sorry you live in New York City.
I've got a decent friendship with my mom, she loves lolita. If I lived at home, I wouldn't parade my comm around her house, just closer friends.
Maybe it is a cultural thing. I think houses are very private and should be visited only by people you know well.

>>9995286
I think you are the odd one here. House parties and dinner parties are a thing. It’s kinda a big point in owning a house and having that space. Otherwise why bother? Your parents generation did it more and house ownership is bigger with them too.

Also I can’t imagine a house costing 300-400 unless you live in the middle of nowhere or even 600-800, and most of the world has people living closer to the big city than a forest.

>>9994940
This is why I’d never host a meetup at my house unless it’s more of a get-together between close friends. Most of my comm is cool, but there’s the occasional weirdo who can’t even behave in public so I don’t even want to know what they’re like behind closed doors. No way am I letting someone like that into my home.

>>9995296
Yeah I live in a low cost of living state overall, suburban part of town, middle income area, and renting a house here with 2BR1BA is like ~$1000USD/month? Even with a roommate that's still $500 each before accounting for stuff like utilities, groceries, gas, etc... But the argument is dumb to begin with because there could be a lot of reasons that have nothing to do with finances why a parent and adult child still live together. Lots of my friends' parents have chronic illnesses or disabilities that either require or are better managed by having 24/7 care from their child if needed. Not everyone lives somewhere that has a decent market for housing or apartments either.

>>9995296
In my state houses start at around $1100/mo, small 400sqft studios start at around $600/mo. Rent ain't cheap everywhere anon.

>>9994940
Was it the girl who posted saying she didn't know what to wear?

What's the London comm like? Rife with itas, sjws, lolitas at heart etc. or is it pretty chilled? How regular are meetups? any cliqueyness?

In my comm there will be a brand guest who will hold a fashion show but most girls who want to walk as models have nothing of that brand. One of them even said that she finds the brand ugly before. But now she wants to be a model? A bit fake...

>>9996200
I don’t think you should own items of said brand if you want to walk in their fashion show. For many it is just something they want to experience or like doing and therefore apply for modelling. Some of course do it for the fame, but I think that the people who apply just because they like the brand are not that many. There are often more reasons to it. But I do agree that is quite fake to apply when you dislike said brand.

>>9995576
Pretty chill. I haven't personally experienced any cliqueyness. Looking at the events page, seems like there's usually one meetup a month.

Last year, the mods of my comm stole a members Halloween tea idea, and created their tea the same date as the other members. The other member ended up canceling their event due to the mods shenanigans. This year, the mods moved the date, city, and location of the meet to suit her needs because supposedly she could no longer host it the day she chose. The event is 3 weeks from now and people are complaining about not being able to attend since the date and location changed. This same mod who made the changes of the event also flaked out on her last summer meet up she never ended up hosting or apologizing until way later. Why is she still a mod if she’s not being fair to the community? It’s a load of horse shit.

>>9996200
Is it for Haenuli by any chance? I notice she gets a ton of hate but as soon as there is a fashion show everyone wants to model.

>>9996212
thanks!

Thinking of going to NYC later this fall for Thanksgiving. Is it worth it to try to ping the comm there to see if there is a meetup to go to?

>>9998505

There's a tea meet on November 10.

Went to first meet I think the thing that surprised me most was how many people brought their boyfriends. By the end there was a corner for the boyfriends to play video games in.

>>9998512

Thank you for the reply. I was thinking more 22-26. Is there anything there then or could I ask the mods?

>>9998519

I mean I could always create a meet if you want. There's lots of stuff to do around then.

>>9998519
Make a post and see if anyone will bite. It'll be difficult to plan a meetup around Thanksgiving. Everyone will be eating turkey with family and friends.

>>9983434
I've always loved that group shot but I really wish it was meme'd in a similar way to that one /fa/ meetup picture or each one described as a video game boss.

>>9998523

I have to finalise things but yeah sure, if that's possible. >>9998524 might be right though. I'll have to solidify things before going ahead though. Are you a mod out of curiosity?

>>9998526
Caveat, I have no idea who any of these people are and made up all the names and everything else

>>9998543
I fucking died at the last one. Good job.

I also love the classic lolita archetypes that are 3, 10, and 11. We all know at least one of those.

>>9993523
It looks like it’s meant for kids’ dress-up plays

>>9998536
No, but NYC is busy around Thanksgiving w/parade and Black Friday Shopping. Unlike Christmas, everyone celebrates this holiday.

>>9998536

Hi, I'm the one who was talking about creating a meet. Yes, I'm a mod but there are other girls who create their own meets as well. Anyone is welcome to make their own meet. Or just post that you're looking to hang out.

hi

i learned from a friend that a lolita who makes me feel uncomfortable is attending the event "I" want to go to. how should i message the comm mods in dealing with this particular person?

>>9998857
Just suck it up? It’s not their job to coddle you.

>>9998857
unless they make the whole comm uncomfortable or have actually done anything outright creepy, it's not the mods' responsibility if it's someone you alone get bad vibes from. they have as much right to attend the event as you do, just get over it, it's not like you're forced to talk with them throughout the whole event.

>>9998857
Is there a legitimate reason you feel uncomfortable around this person? If it's a genuine concern, like if this person is openly into engaging unwilling people in ddlg or something (idk, it's an example), message at least one of your mods privately. If you have any proof of this person's troublesome behavior, include it with your message.
If you just don't like this person because they don't dress well or whatever then like the other anon says, be an adult and suck it up. You don't have to get along and be friends with everyone, you can easily just offer people basic courtesy and not interact with people you don't like.

>>9998543
I snorted at just "Dan"

>>9998857
>"I"
Three options: suck it up, message a mod, or just don't go.

I just moved to LA from my job but the comm seems pretty dead? Any tips on how to connect with the local lolitas here?

>>9998543
This is literally the best thing I've seen since someone made a similar lolita secret about the girls in the getoffegl header pic

>>9998981
Ever since there was a change in mods, the comm became more clique-y like NY. I loved the LA comm for what it was a few years ago, but now it just seems like hangouts with close friends.

There was some stupid private altercation between two people. Both were pretty retarded but only one side got kicked, when it should have been both of them for blowing up some private spat publicly like nutjobs. Ever since that moment, things have been going downhill

Inactive mods get on my nerves. And so do gatekeepers.

>>9996880
Is this the same Comm that now has a rival Halloween tea party on a different day in another city?

>>9999003
More deets on NY comm cliques?

>>9999162
there are no deets

>>9998981
Definitely what >>9999003 said. But if you're willing to go the distance and give it a try the OC community is fairly active and friendly. One of the people who was kicked from the LA comm (for reasons mentioned in the other anon's reply) is now part of the OC comm but they don't seem that bad and haven't started any shit.
The OC comm is having a meet this Sunday, I believe?

>>9998543
I'm >>9998526 and holy shit i'm dying. This was great, nice job and thanks anon!

>>9999162
Sorry anon. Not from the NY comm but many people have mentioned on cgl that the NY comm is clique-y

>>9999179
OC comm is sweet. They have casual little meets that are pretty chill.

And I hope she doesn’t start shit. OC comm is like my last haven. I just hope that LA comm gets it shit together and has that community feeling once more because they’re much closer to me. I stanned for the LA community arguing with people that it’s not clique-y as I was welcomed watmly despite being a stranger from another state. Now I just got my foot shoved into my mouth

>>9999193
>OC comm is like my last haven. I just hope that LA comm gets it shit together and has that community feeling once more because they’re much closer to me
Damn, anon are you me? I've been in the LA comm for years and its disheartening to see what it has become.
I'd love to host meets myself but it seems like there's little interest in meetups hosted by less popular girls aka nobodies.

>>9999162

There's not much to say. The comm is so large that people tend to split off into groups of friends.

>>9998981
I don't really get what the above anon's are talking about. My experience with the LA comm is that it's super active and pretty drama free for such a large community. The comm is really big, there are meets both big and small, and a lot of people break off into friend groups but are always open to new people attending. The trick to get in is to join the FB group (there are two, one is pretty much dead and the other is crazy active, just request to join em all and you'll figure it out pretty easy). OC comm, IMO, is dead and a few friend groups hang out occasionally.

>>9999223
lol everyone in both comms can tell exactly who you are

>>9999142
Nada. /shrugs/
I think it’s pretty ridiculous to copy someone else’s meet, but I think it’s more rediculous that the mods barely interact with the comm and bail on their own meets. In my last comm before I moved, the mods were fairly active. So it’s a weird change.

>>9999223
>LA comm is that it's super active and pretty drama free
Having private meetups with your close friends doesn't count. Why do girls from the LA comm always have to WK themselves here? No one even said anything negative.

>>9999223
This is what I used to be saying a few years ago, but I don’t think I can say that anymore. Except for the drama part. Drama has technically been low key in general

I'm moving to the UK from America. I'm happy to drive anywhere for a good comm. What are the best comms that I should join?

>>9999312
As an American visiting London, the London com was very sweet to me!

Why would a community have two seperate Halloween meets? The whole thing seems silly to me. Glad I left it. They seem drama filled and full of themselves

>>9999182
>>9998985
>>9998879
>>9998545
I'm glad you liked it! After I made it I had a lot of ideas for other descriptions, such as "Is obsessed with the nutritional values of macarons", "really devoted to her Taobao shopping service and will let you know about it in every conversation", "Obsessively collects Mr Yan memorabilia", "Has been working on the same historically-accurate dress for at least 7 years", and "Insists on using driveway caulk for decoden"

Looks like the one community hosting that Halloween tea again is at it again. Everyone that went last year got trolled hard.

>>9999566
>Why would a community have two seperate Halloween meets?

Probably one having proper "vetting" to prevent itas and lolitas at heart from showing up and ruining everything.

>>9999580
I went to it last year and had lots of fun.

>>9999573
Please do more!

>>9999641
Provide the picture and I'll do it... I'll try to make the text clearer on the next one too, not sure what happened last time, it looked fine until I uploaded it

>>9999657
Man, I so want to post a pic of my comm for this, but I don't want to embarass anyone

>>9999659
Oh I understand, that's why I don't want to choose a picture myself... I don't want it to seem like I'm singling anybody out, even if I'm choosing a picture at random

>>9999312
What region/state are you moving to? I'm just imagining you driving across the country for meets lmao

>>9999566
The mod moved it because she stated she could no longer host the meet on the day it was originally planned for. She also bailed on her summer meet due to being too busy as well,

>>9999588
Actually not. The mod hosting the event left a comment on a potential guests post stating that The mod moved it because she stated she could no longer host the meet on the day it was originally planned for. She also bailed on her summer meet due to being too busy as well

>>10000460
Ack, hit post too soon. Another Halloween meet was made because several members were irritated about the date being moved last minute and could no longer attend due to other events happening the same day.

>>10000460
Is this the same mod that has a history of bailing on not only multiple events, but bailing out on attending them too?

>>9999566
My comm is having two different halloween meets because there are two different halloween events in our town that people want to go to.

Not everything is about jealousy and meanies.

>>10000517
This. Sometimes plans just don't work out and alternative meets need to be planned, especially if you have a bigger comm. It's so easy to assume malice, but I really don't think most comms are like that.

>>10000476
Yep. That’s why I think she should should step down.

>>10000968
Serving as a Mod for a Lolita Community is a full-time job. A Mod keeping their emotions in check towards others in a Comm radiates confidence and makes lolitas trust you. Failure to do so will cause lolitas to call into question your dedication in keeping the community orderly. I saw happen in another Comm before and the lolita's behavior towards others nearly wrecked it. This Mod has dealt with severe anxiety and commitment issues in the past. She is lucky to have Mods swoop in and compensate for her drawbacks. I'm upset the Halloween event is being moved from City A (where it's closer for me) to City B where it was hosted last year at the last minute. Because our Mod failed to perform a significant duty to find a venue, I'm now resigned to have an unofficial Halloween event that is more subdued (if it happens).

We need a better Mod for City A.

>>10001017
Your Decision to capitalize Words seems Entirely random

>>10001026
Maybe German?

>>10001017
Yeah, I totally get that it’s a full time job. However this mod proved time and time again and to be unreliable. Take her summer event for example; planned it months ahead of time and cancelled it last minute. She then moved the tea party last minute as well because she could no longer attend the day she originated planned it for, and planned it at another venue farther away. She did what was convenient for herself and not the comm, yet she has no issues promoting a Lolita convention for another comm that isn’t anywhere close to here. It’s in another state of all places (nit a neighboring state either.) thanks to her canceled the meet an unofficial meet has been made by another mod. At least the other mod cares about the community and cleaned up the mess left by the unreliable mod. Miss unreliable should step down. She’s proven time and time again that she’s not fit to mod.

>>10001048
Unless you stage a mutiny, not gonna happen. There's always a chance she may step down, but that's not going to happen. Just boycott her events, it's the only meaningful thing you can do

>>10001075
She will never, ever step down. She has the same chance of being mod in 2019 as Kavanaugh being a part of SCOTUS in 2019.

>She did what was convenient for herself and not the comm, yet she has no issues promoting a Lolita convention for another comm that isn’t anywhere close to here. It’s in another state of all places (nit a neighboring state either.)

What's hilarious is while she promotes it, the other mod goes to the event. The other mod has at least made friends in the KC Area.

So our comm is having a Harry Potter Halloween meet. I’m really excited but I’m debating between going as a specific character and just going as a generic Hogwarts student. Thoughts?

>>10001075
I agree.
>>10001076
That’s what I heard. I guess she’s buddy buddy with her other mod considering she hasn’t been demoted and probably isn’t going to be; or the other mods don’t care.

>>10001100
Definitely generic Hogwarts student. There have been some nice Umbridge coords but please dont mistake a series themed meet with a cosplay meet.
Plus house themed coords look really put together on their own and amazing in group pics.

>>10001119
It's a Halloween meet Anon. I don't see anything wrong with going as a specific character since it's going to be more costumey by default.

>>10001138
Going as a specific character is actually cosplay. Wearing a Halloween lolita coord is not.

It's still a lolita meetup not a Halloween party or just a Harry Potter event.

>>10001149
I'm pretty sure she means a lolita version of the character anon. Like putting on harry potter glasses and a scar or something. No one is suggesting showing up to a meet in cosplay.

>>9998981
If you are interested in that sort of thing there are a lot of local lolitas going to the Oddities Flea Market. You could probably strike up conversations there.

>>10001026
nah, they're doing it to put emphasis on certain words. It looks like AP formatting.

>>9994371
Is this ohio comm? I feel u anon

>>10001943
Yep. 2 of our 4 mods aren’t active. Check the group . Did you see how the mod in question, hosting the Halloween event started commenting posts after many of us wrote concerns about her here? How desperate. M you need to step down, so do you T.

This happen drama caused me to have a bad dream that id agreed to host a huge Halloween meet and had no idea how to do it and was trying to figure out how to get a venue last minute or get someone else to host it instead.

>>10002321
It sounds like you had a stress dream. Don’t worry about the Halloween meet. You don’t have to go to it. There’s another Halloween meet you could go to if you wanted, but don’t sweat it. There will always be other meets. You could even host a meet if you wanted.

>>9998543
>kek "Dan"
This needs way more love

>>10001017
>being a mod is a full time job
That they're not getting paid for. And they're probably trying to work mod duties in around a REAL job to boot. This sort of mentality is why it's so hard to find good mods. Generally, the girls that actually want the job just want the power trip and don't have the chops to mod well.

I love and hate my comm. They’re all really sweet but some of the members are so ita and have gotten posted onto the ita thread which is really embarrassing. Most of them don’t even own proper Lolita dresses and think any normie dress with a slightly fuller skirt or lace: Lolita!1!!. I’m a mod and when I’ve been a bit more strict with the dress code in meets I get called mean or whatever. I’ve considered being a lonelita but I’m honestly the only mod that hosts meetups and then I would not be able to spend time with other members who I’ve grown very close with, as well as I enjoy spending time with people interested in the fashion and try to educate them, I just hate that they don’t listen to advice or put any effort to get better and give me bullshit excuses (brand is too expensive!!, won’t fit me, etc).

>>10003109
>Are you me?
My way of dealing with it is hoping that the itas that attend the meets see what a proper coord looks like and hopefully improve by themselves. When it comes to pictures I just make sure that I also have a few of smaller friend groups, usually the itas stick with each other so you get a few good pictures of the actual lolitas.
>Keep at it anon! I'm sure there are people that appreciate the effort

lmao @ohio mod creating an event for NEXT year’s halloween over a year in advance

>>10003243
lmaoooo hey, looking to the future is good right

>>10003243
Do you think events get planned overnight? Noob

>>10003243
Ohio just sounds like a bunch of cunts who can't get their heads out of their ass. How are they still alive?

>>9999263
Literally 3 meetups in the last month that have been open to everyone- pottery, garden, and oddities flea market

You bitches will find anything to be salty about, enjoy feeling like you’re not part of a “clique” just because you have no real friendships built outside of being also able to wear a frilly dress

>>10002371
Oh no I'm actually not in the comm or have anything to do with any Halloween meet. It's just randomly from reading here.

>>10003243
Oh, I’m sorry M, are your fee fee’s hurt that someone planned a Halloween meet before you? How about you get your head out out of your asses and do your damn jobs as mods? Tell T, too.

>>10003335
They always fail to mention that the girl that was banned from LA has literally been banned from every comm she's been in, and she's caused trouble at other meets before.

>>10003435
Deets?

Are any other comms planning a Secret Santa yet?

I’m not sure if I’m going to participate in my comm’s SS this year. I love finding gifts for other lolitas but every time the organizers match me to people who don’t even really wear the fashion. One time it was a girl nobody had ever met, who didn’t show up on the day of the gift exchange and hasn’t attended a meetup since. Then another time it was the sister of a lolita in my comm who likes to tag along to meetups but doesn’t wear lolita herself, and last year it was a girl who had supposedly been into lolita for over five years but didn’t have a single real coord, only a wishlist album full of AliExpress soft sister stuff. I suspect that the organizers match me to less active or experienced people because I’m more experienced and can pick a nicer gift than another newbie would, but to be honest I don’t really enjoy picking out gifts for people who don’t seem to like our fashion enough to actually wear it. I don’t understand why these people signed up in the first place.

It’s frustrating to be scrolling through websites and come across things that would make a great gift for a certain person in my comm, but know that I’ll probably never get matched to that person in the official gift exchange. I’m not really close enough friends with most of these people to just show up to a random meetup with a gift without it being weird.

>>9999198
I totally agree with this...if you’re not popular people barely show up. It has become very petty and clique-y when it used to be more open and friendly

>>10003335

It’s alarming how many LA mods/comm members lurk and then proceed to get butt blasted at any little negative comment

>>10003335
And that will be all the meets for the rest of the month until ILD. kek
You're so fucking pressed. Get a damn life, go to work, something.
>>10003455
If it's a mod it is probably L. We all know she lurks here. If it isn't her or another mod then it's probably someone like P.

>>10003604
>month
year. Rest of the year.

>>10003446
My comm just posted a secret Santa a few days ago. This is my third time participating and I've always had a good experience because the girl who run it take how active you are in the comm into account. I feel for you, it'd be difficult to bring up this issue without people taking it personally. I guess don't sign up unless you'd be alright with the worst case scenario happening. Or setup your own private secret Santa with your Lolita friends, as I'm sure there are others that feel the same.

So like... the LA meetup group is up for grabs. The host resigned and it will be deleting in 24 hours if no one already a member steps up to be the new organizer. Or at least a placeholder.

>>10003446
I organize my comms secret Santa and I'd feel bad if someone felt this way but I'd want to know. I really want it to be a good experience for everyone. Bring it up with the organizer. They shouldn't feel hurt if they care about your comm.

>>10003446
I feel this! related my last year santa wasn't bad, but I feel like most of my secret santas I end up giving out really nice stuff and then getting something really mehhhh from one of those newbies or people who never go to anything :////

I really don’t understand people being upset about meets or lack of meets unless your community mods don’t allow you to make any. If they don’t, screw them there no rule that says only they can make meets, it’s a whole community fashion. If anyone can make a meet, there shouldn’t be issues. Why is this such a prevalent problem across the board?

>>10003335
This isn’t even coming from someone that has no friendships irl. Most of my friends are normies that don’t mind me dressing in lolita with them and having tea parties. I stanned the LA community for years, rolling my eyes at people saying there are cliques in the comm. The clique thing wasn’t a problem until now.

>>10003435
>>10003442
Oh don’t worry. I’m glad she’s banned. She’s so sensitive and overreacts to every little thing. I wonder how old S is because she acts like a preteen spoiled brat. The other party that had beef with her in LA in that private spat that got dragged out to the public should have been banned for being a spoilt dumbass too.

>>10003604
L is considered a mod now? Fuck. She was the other party in that stupid argument over stupid bullshit. Welp..Hopefully we are talking about another L.

>>10003243
>>10003418

lmao we planned these events together!
Plz remember you're very welcome to plan meets too

>>10004103
Plz remember to suck my dick and balls

>>10004139
I take payment in rare meta only

>>10003435
Keep lying, it's hilarious when you lie so blatantly.

>>10004168

>>10004236
do you have to use stale memes when you could just PM the comm and ask to be a mod

>>10004236
I think you can do a fantastic job anon. I bet your meets will be the best.

>>10004262
Haha no thanks. Hosting meets like that is expensive and everyone always wants to complain.

>>10004181
She literally has been banned from the NY and LA comms. She has also been a problem with the OC comm because of her reputation and getting sensitive over things that are a non issue. I don't go to meets she marks herself as going to because I'm tired of her problematic ass

>>10004268
BUT WHY won't anyone host a meet for me like this in Pee Pee township?

>>10004272
She's been to all of one meet at OC where nothing happened. She's not really a part of that comm.

>>10004274
>those sad Costco wraps
id rather have cucumber sammies

>>10004181
She's literally been banned from the LA and NY comms. NY sent her with a "good riddance" because she's LA's problem now.

She was a problem at her own Mystery Theater meet she co-hosted and had to be told to sit the fuck down. At her own meet.

idk how I'm lying, this is all in the archives if you dig through

>>10004030
>L is considered a mod
Is she not? She hosted the ILD meets with T and someone else. That is more often than not a mod's job.
Unfortunately, we are talking about the same L. She should have been banned just like S, but of course she isn't. Mods wouldn't ban their own friends.

>>10004349
It doesn't really matter who is mod when the people can make meets on their own. Either way, it's pointless to bring up old drama.

>>10004349
Anyone in LA can host a meet, you dolt. Anyone involved in that public spat needs to go, it was embarrassing

>>10004103
Many of us planned meets (including myself) but you basically just outed yourself to making fun of the mod who’s planning her Halloween meet a year in advance. You really should step down. I’m appalled.

>>10004382
Who uses the word dolt as an insult? Haha

Is there an Indiana comm? Ever since we had the Facebook panic regarding "Lolita" in group names it's so hard to find comms!

>>10004654
I'm lonelita because of life stuff, so not sure if there is an Indiana specific comm, although there used to be one in the LJ days. I'm just responding because jfc is it rare to hear of lolitas in this barren cornscape, so hi!

>>10004654
>>10004683
There is but I'm not sure what the name of the FB group is or anything like that. I'm in the Chicago comm and I know sometimes the Indiana lolitas come to bigger events here so they definitely do exist!

>>10004654
To be honest I’m not sure if it’s still active or not. A couple years ago it existed and was small, but I haven’t heard of Indiana activity in a while. I left it 2-3 years ago and it seems like everyone else kinda phased out, too. If you’re in the north then it would be worth joining Chicago or Michigan instead.

>>10004654
It does but it sucks lol, the mods don't even wear lolita or plan meets or go to meets. There are a few girls who are well dressed but for the most part it's pretty small and disjointed.

>>10004699
there is*** what is grammar

>>10004654
I know Tasty Peach has a physical shop in Mishawaka and they hosted a Lolita tea party, so I think there must be a comm.

>>10004705
They did, and it was so cute and well put together. The owner really put a lot of effort into that tea party and she herself is also a lolita, so it was a really good time.

The only thing is that literally only 2 girls from the Indiana comm showed up. That's how inactive the Indiana comm is.

>>10004390
You do realize that the mods communicate on stuff like that right? all the mods knew that event was going to be planned

>>10004349
Who the fuck even are the mods now? A year or two ago O, A and J were mods but I haven’t seen A be active anymore.

>>10004654
Search "Official Indiana EGL group" on FB. I will warn you that it is pretty small and not super active. I would like that to change but only time will tell.

>>10004390
What, like your cemetery meet? Yeah, when you host more than one meet on a regular basis like M and B maybe you can talk

>>10004836
Oh god, that's so sad. Not OP, but I'll be moving to Indiana probably within a year. My comm right now isn't big but we meet at least once a month. To think that I've actually been spoiled all along. I'm going to miss all my friends so much.

Well, when I do finally show up, I'll be hitting y'all up, I'd love to help make it more active.

>>10004849
For sure! Feel free to leave a throwaway email and I will reach out if you'd like. We recently had someone move from a more active comm as well so I'm hoping for a revival.

>>10004849
Another Indiana anon here! Definitely leave a throwaway. We exist, but are just kinda spread out. Which part of Indiana are you going to?

>>10004545
Sorry that you have to resort to nitpicking grammar because you can't think of a better comeback but your comm still sucks. Enjoy the only three meets you'll have for an entire year

>>10004858
Lololololol I will! Enjoy not having friends!

>>10004836
I think the biggest problem in the Indiana comm are the “mods” (i use that term very loosely) who don’t want to pass the baton to girls who are more active and willing to lead the comm. I’ve been in the comm for about 2 years now, and I have yet to even meet them. It’s pretty bad, but all hope is not lost because there are a few good lolitas in the group who genuinely care about the fashion that end up planning meets.

>>10004992
NTA but cringe responses like this are why the LA mods are a joke

Okay, I realise I'm probably reaching here.... But is there a lolita comm in South Africa?

Anything public going on in nola next week? I'm gonna be in town and I thought about dropping in if there was a meet.

>>10005023
None of that exchange even made sense, can y’all guys stop beating the imaginary horse and talk about some legit drama?

>>10005025
I'm not from there but holy shit I would love to go to a meet there.

What's it like to wear lolita there??

>>10005404
Theres two meets this weekend, one on the 13th and one on the 27th; The NOLA com is very sweet, I recommend just joining the facebook group and posting that you're going to be in town. Check out the Kawaii NOLA shop while you're there too! it's really cute

>>10005411
it's a gaggle of mad OC girls lmao

>>10004834
Didn't both O and A step down or say they were taking a break? J moved, did she not?The current mods seem to be T, A (not A who goes by MD), and L.

>>10005922
There’s an A who isn’t MD? And who is T, if she goes by MM in other places I don’t think she’s a mod.

Can a 6 person group be considered a community?
I live in the capital city of a small European country and we can gather around 6 people at most per meet. We have about 10 that wear lolita now and then, but some of them are in different towns, so it is hard to get more than 6 people together at a time.

It is kinda hard to attract more people in the community too, because we are poorfags and it takes time and effort to successfully attract someone new and persuade them to shill the money to wear the fashion. At the same time we have very strong BJD community, and god knows the entrance fee is much more expensive than nowadays lolita. I mean, come one, people are selling their brand on LM for 30 euros...

We are generally quite well dressed, very friendly to newbies and have fun at our meetups. I am at a loss on what to do to increase our numbers.

>>10006961
What country, anon?
Anyway, perhaps try hosting booths and panels at conventions? It might encourage potential new lolitas to join in!

S got banned from the Pittsburgh comm. deets?

>>10007107
Goose?

>>10005480
Difficult. Shipping is a bitch and salaries are low, I literally could only start buying things really last year. My elder brother had a computer when we were teenagers and I found out about lolita fashion when we read Paradise Kiss together. My auntie tried to sew me some lolita clothes and I loved them even though they were not quite right. But I'm finally making enough money as a paralegal now to buy the clothes of my teenage dreams! It's very hot much of the time here and I do look unusual but I have respect from the people in my neighborhood and haven't had any big problems yet. Local boys sometimes yell at me asking if I'm going to church, but I just say "Yes" and they don't want to bother a God-fearing girl so they let me go. I just wish I had lolita friends to spend time with as well.

>>10005480
>>10007147
I should have said, I wear classic so I don't look too out of place compared to some of the church going women in my area.

>>10007150
lolita in South Africa. That’s amazing. I would love to see pics of lolitas all over the world lol.

>>10007147
This is really interesting anon. Makes me happy to hear that you are living your dreams and making yourself happy!
I spent some time in Joburg as a teen but haven’t been back since.

>>10003971
I've tried this and nobody came to my meet despite it being on the day that the most people said they would come

When you are new to a comm or less popular no one wants to come to your events apparently

>>10004654
The problem with states like this is the Fort Wayne lolitas don't want to go to events in Indianapolis besides cons, and the Bloomington and Indianapolis girls are not about to go to Fort Wayne. So we all stay in our own little areas of the state. I always think it's weird to hear girls from other states talking about how far they travel, no one around here is willing to travel and many do not have their own transportation. I myself am a lonelita as I've never seen any other lolitas in my part of the state (Southeast). It's easy for Europeans and East Coast girls to travel with public transit, but in big rural states, the only option is long drives and those are hard to do regularly

>>10006734
Yes, there was a mod who isn't MD. Not sure if she still is one, but she is one of the older girls. T/MM isn't a mod? Who are the mods, then?

>>10007107
Goose? Someone spill

>>10007339
In my state, a lot of the northern lolitas don't travel down except for big events (but it makes sense, it's a 4-5 hour drive), but everywhere else we are all used to driving 30 - 120 minutes.

>>10007339
I live pretty close to Indianapolis, I would gladly travel 2 hours to meets that are worth it.

>>10007147
>>10007150
Thanks for replying!

I would totally go to South Africa and wear classic - classic isn't my thing but I feel like I'd fit right in if I did that there.

I'm glad you're doing well for yourself! I too grew up poor as dirt and now I finally get to buy the clothing I always wanted to wear.

>>10007636
I used to see some great meets posted and always had transportation issues so I rarely came to anything but cons. Have a more reliable car now but am not seeing the neat zoo/ museum/ Crown Hill type meets posted lately. Going to someone's house or a tiny tea room out in a suburb is just not appealing, wonder if everyone else felt the same and that's why it's so inactive

>>10006961
>>10007059

Greece

>>10008090
There has been a couple museum and nicer tea room events in the past few months. The members are still very flaky and a lot of them complain about prices.

>>10008240
This, most of them are too cheap to go to most meets that are planned. Then complain there’s never anything going on lmao

>>10003971
Agreed, such choosy beggars. Just the other day a Con meet was posted in my comm. Someone commented that they wished it was held at the same bar it was held at last year's. Really bitch? Plan it yourself then.

Another girl did the same to a different meet, she clearly wanted them to change the venue to something closer to her.

>>10003971

Agreed, such choosy beggars. Just the other day a Con meet was posted in my comm. Someone commented that they wished it was held at the same bar it was held at last year's. Really bitch? Plan it yourself then.

Another girl did the same to a different meet, she clearly wanted them to change the venue to a similar business closer to her. A girl even commented offering to cohost a meet with her at her preferred venue, but was ignored.

>>10004852
>>10004857
Aww, thanks guys! I put a throw away in the name field. I look forward to hearing from you! I'm going to be moving to the northern part of the state, but I would be willing to travel to Indianapolis at least a couple times a year for sure.

I can sympathize with people who don't necessarily travel at least a little bit; my current comm is a couple hours away from another larger comm but we hardly attend their meets because after transportation it starts to get pretty expensive if you do it too often. And on the flipside, us being in a smaller city, we basically have nothing interesting to offer to them, sadly.

Still, it's sad to hear that there's so little activity in the state, so I hope that changes a bit in the future!

>>10008240
>>10008258
Oh that's unfortunate. I'll have to check out the page again, I stopped looking at it when every meet was some chintzy sad little tea (maybe last summer or the one before? I don't use Facebook much and time just flies by)

>>10008432
Youma?

>>10008699
If you're in northern Indiana you might wanna check out the Chicago comm too. It's pretty active.

>>10007107
It's not much but this is all I've got.

>>10007375
A (from the original group), T and L

Have fun, LA. Looks like your comm is going to shit.

>>10008867
tfw lone LA lolita.

>>10008867
you know you can open the group and check the admins, right?

>>10008893
That is on you though...

>>10009115
yeah, I'd rather be lone, thanks. what the other anons here say about cliques is 100% true.

>>10009339
That they mostly just seem insular because everyone already knows each other, and that 9 times out of 10 if you make any effort at all to try to be included people will meet you halfway so long as you aren't a fucking sperg making everyone wanna go home and shower?

>>10009371
>it's totally your fault! Even if you're shy, or an introvert, still all your fault! We don't have cliques at all!
surejan.gif
Do you blame disabled people for taking up the good parking spaces too?

>>10009371

wow this is exactly like NYC.

Why are all comms becoming like this. People seem way on edge for ruffly manga dresses.

>>10009423
Same here but different comm.
I miss my old smaller comm. The comm im in now is all either megameets or cliques.

>>10009433

I'm a lonelita, but I'm starting to realise I was really blessed in my old comm.

I'm not really keen on joining a new comm because it will feel more like trying to socialise at a cliquey work party rather than a very low key event where everyone is open and friendly. My friend already alluded to this in her current comm as well (another different comm).

>>10009339
What exactly makes a clique? I’m genuinely interested in what you think it is.

>>10009458
Different Anon but I would say group of friends or kind-of friends that are hostile to inviting new people to do anything.
At some point I wonder why the cliques come to meets because they barely interact with anyone else and aren't particularly welcoming.

>>10008893
Do you ever attend meets? I would love to meet other gulls from LA that aren't necessarily in the main comms.

>>10009462
We have two girls in my comm who are also mods that are like this. They host and attend meets but will ignore everyone else and be in their own bubble, occasionally letting in someone they know. If you try talking to them they either don't notice you or give short answers before going back to their conversation. It's nice that they keep the comm more active but I am kind of confused as to what the point is for them? Like why bother doing meets if you're going to just hang with each other and look down on others? Why not just go hangout together then?

>>10009495
They probably like the feeling of doing that to others.

>>10009495
Has it ever occurred to you that maybe they are not obligated to make friends with everyone? Sometimes people can’t befriend someone right away, especially when they’re being socially awkward or aggressive in you’re attempt to be part of the “circle”? Most lolitas don’t just behave like bffs to someone from the beginning.

>>10009529
And here we go with the defensive excuses again. There needs to be a bingo card. No one is arguing they need to be everyone's best friend and invite them and every other lolita they encounter to their wedding and the honeymoon immediately. We just don't know why people show up at a social event or even host it with no apparent intention of being social.

>>10009535
What do you want then? To talk to you every 5 minutes? To hold your hand? So many people complain about hating small talk and many girls in the comm are shy outside their circle. They all became friends over time, not from meeting at a few meets. Everyone has social media so why don’t you engage with them there too between meets?

>>10009535
aren't meets supposed to be a place to interact with others like you in a fashion sense? maybe those people are into it for other reasons than you or they're not sure how to approach you.

>>10009529
I don't even want to be their friend though since they always act like that. Im always trying to keep conversation flowing with different people at meetups, especially those who seem shy. I try to at least acknowledge everyone I meet and maybe throw in a complement on their coord. I have plenty of my own friends in the comm too, I don't need their friendship or acknowledgement. I just don't understand what the point is for them. They never seem like they are enjoying themselves other than when they talk to each other or take coord photos.

>>10009554
If you don’t care about being friends with them, why do you care? Not everyone is going to like you (and vise versa) so leave them be. You have your friends in the comm so go make your own meets too.

>>10009562
Because it's a thread to talk about your comm.
>>10009554
I feel you anon. I'm really disenchanted with my comm, not just things like this but so many things in general. I'm mostly a lonelita now.

>>10009541
>Everyone has social media so why don’t you engage with them there too between meets?
I agree with you on this however I have yet to really get through to people anywhere outside of fb which blows.

Anyway. I hate shy people that go to meets who don't even try to make the effort. Why even go? As someone who doesn't talk a lot, even I manage to speak with most people at the meet. If I miss out on talking to someone its because I just didn't get a chance to.

Which is another reason its silly to go to a social gathering to ignore everyone around you and your group.

I see tea parties as well... parties. What do you do at a big party? You go and talk to random folks and you say interesting things instead of resorting to boring small talk. Why is this hard for people?

How is the Georgia comm? I'm still biased from the LJ days when the ATL comm was known as elitist bitch central, so I'm kind of wary of joining them.

This is about to sage, so new thread: >>10009756

>>10009760
Wait until the thread is actually saging before making a new one. Gulls get annoyed when there are two active threads for the same thing.

>>10009763
It's saging now though

>>10009769
Fuck, sorry for getting onto you then. I thought we still had a good twenty or so posts left.

>>10009743
I moved a year and a half ago, but while I was in the ATL com it was fine. Those same bitches are still there but the com is big so we just ignore them. A few years ago there was mod drama so all the old mods stepped down and we voted new mods who actually moderate and are nice people, it's been so much better since then. There's not a lot of super fancy meets, but there are lots of really fun casual meets

>>10008850
I heard she was turned in by K8. Funny tho bc the last pic on goose’s insta is of her and k8.

Wow,who's goose and wonder what happened? Sounds like a major shit show.

>>10013052

Anybody have deets on goose?