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/cgl/ - Cosplay & EGL

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>> No.10051870

Just wanna say, you're not doing anything wrong. You're not hurting anyone by having a fetish. You're feeling bad about it due to growing up in a sex negative christian household.

>I cried a few times during our "sessions" because i felt bad about being so lewd
As >>10051412 said, go see a therapist. You CAN stop feeling bad about being who you are. Be happy, seagull.

>> No.10051871

>Linkin Park
Why would you do that to yourself?

>> No.10051872

In the end it doesn't even matter.

>> No.10051873

> if some little kid comes up and hits me, I unironically hit back on reflex

I noticed I unintentionally try to avoid touching others kids while walking by the street. Even if that kid is about to fall off the stairs I won’t be someone to catch them. I always felt that ignoring kids makes me look weird, but I never knew what should I do or pretend in such case. Not sure what’s the reason of that, probably I expect their mothers being morbidly agressive and blaming me even if it’s not my fault. Or maybe I don’t treat kids as actual people because I don’t feel them having personality yet.

>> No.10051874
File: 80 KB, 749x694, pJzIIsQ.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

>I blamed him but it was really my fault
>going to be alone this Christmas for the first time in years

>> No.10051877

>struggle with unhealthy eating almost all my life, partly because being conditioned to do it but know very well what is healthy and what isn't
>gained so much weight I don't fit into half of my wardrobe anymore
>Weeb concert happens
>feel pure, unfiltered happiness and freedom for the first time since I can remember
>suddently don't like the taste of sweets anymore
>suddently don't feel the urgent need to finish my plate anymore
>suddently don't feel anything emotionally when eating anymore
>suddently do feel the urge to move and get more energy out of my system as soon as I'm not sore anymore
What the fuck, is this why normal people always say loosing weight is easy? Because they experience it like that?

>> No.10051878

It's like rolling a boulder from the top of a mountain down. You have to get over the inertia at first and then keep pushing.

>> No.10051881

Him 5'3" and a guy. I think your height is just fine for a girl.

>> No.10051882

As someone who went through something similar, yes. Food was my only comfort, and I also grew up with access to only junk food. After I left my asshole ex and found new sources of happiness, I lost the need to binge. I was suddenly able to say no to a cupcake with a war with myself.

>> No.10051883

This is exactly what I'm talking, seagulls need to start planning for the future
We need spinster living arrangements with each other so that no one dies alone breaking a hip stepping out of the shower

>> No.10051884
File: 27 KB, 438x452, 3247631318_1_5_8PvEPPGD.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

>time came to change bandages
It's major ouchies family. Now I have to go to the store to buy more. Gonna buy something nutritious to eat, have like no food in house. Probably spinach, some sort of meat, maybe berries if they're on sale.
Almost all food disgusts me anymore. I just think of it as nutrients that are necessary for survival.
Sips, now, I think half my calories might come from sips. Beverages are delicious. If I stopped drinking calories I'd turn into a skeleton at this point. I used to eat for fun but now I hate eating, I eat like one meal a day most of the time. I'm not even a bad cook, people have paid money for me to cook for them before. I just don't know what happened. Anhedonia I guess.
I really like those protein shakes they sell though, they're nice. It's all the nutrition of a meal but I don't have to eat food. I should buy some. (I'm US size 2 or 4 so I'm not underweight, inb4 anorexic accusations.) Every time I eat food I used to like it's just massively underwhelming if not outright unpleasant. And carbs and sugar make me feel sick. Ate french toast the other day, perfectly fine normal french toast, and it was awful and I felt off the rest of the day.

>> No.10051885

so being 15 is still hard, huh

>> No.10051892
File: 49 KB, 1280x720, red_data_girl-01-miyuki-angry-bandages.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

Rude anon is rude.

>> No.10051898
File: 244 KB, 1380x2808, dia_roids.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

>it's incredibly hard and unlucky
>steroid abuse
The word you're looking for is "steroid use". If you abuse roids then no shit you're gonna become infertile

>> No.10051902

You have a pretty grim view of what it's like to raise a child lol, it's not quite as nightmarish, but based on what you've said, it's understandable to feel that way.

>I guess if I can't find a childfree husband I'll just marry some schmuck and take birth control pills in secret. Whoopsies darling, you must be shooting blanks.
You should definitely not do that.

>in b4 it's just a shitpost
I never know with you gulls, honestly

>> No.10051927

>don't like kids
>cousin has a year old kid
>it's obsessed with me at family gatherings because I'm the only one who isn't contantly focusing my undivided attention on it
send help

>> No.10051928

>You should definitely not do that.
Why? People don't get divorced over female infertility anymore, it isn't the 1600s. It should be easy to hide it from him.

>> No.10051930
File: 5 KB, 275x177, 1542169222917.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

Grats on the happiness. ow it's up to you to keep it going.
Good luck maintaining your calorie levels. I hear its hard to not accidentally starve yourself for those that hate eating.

Cooking used to be the Thing I was Good At. Now i'm in a similar boat. I don't want to cook anymore ever. Meaning all i'm eating is instant junk and i keep gaining weight. I'm also sick of carbs and sugars. They're all all i ever eat anymore because i never want to cook the meat and the fruit vanishes in like a day. I'm starting to think i'm lactose intolerant, or at least not as used to milk products as i used to be.

>> No.10051931

Congrats anon! I sympathise a lot, especially with the having an inner war whenever food comes into the picture part.
For me, there was a already a history of eating disorders in my family but originally I grew up thin, with a healthy sense of appetite and knew exactly when I was full and was also was picky regarding junk food. But then caretakers and parents came and fucked that all over with manipulation and harming educational practices because they thought I wouldn't eat enough (ironically all those adults were fat themselves). At one point I was 10 yo, my mother took me to McTrash almost every day and it got so bad, my doctor told her I need to loose weight or else I'll fuck up my knees permanently when growing up. Of course she called him names, told me to forget his words and that I'll "grow out of that little extra weight", fed me more trash and then what he predicted actually happened. Later in life I developed the opposite and got into a seemingly never ending binge/starve circle.

That doesn't sound good either, anon. Do you hate feeling full? Or do you just not like the feeling of hard food?

>> No.10051935
File: 30 KB, 813x500, pathetic.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

Because tricking your SO into thinking he's impotent is a fucked up thing to do you fucking mong.

>> No.10051936


Just get your tubes tied if youre that set, I got mine done at 26 and I definitely dont regret it.

Funny enough I even like kids. I teach for a living and dont mind children at all, but the idea of pregnancy is disgusting and I hate babies. I always thought of adoption instead if I ever truly wanted kids.

When I got together with my bf I was very honest with him and told him straight up if the fact that I cant have children is too much then he needed to leave right now because I dont want to wait 10 years down the line to learn he secretly despises my choice.

Surprisingly he chose to stay with me despite his not agreeing with what I did. He even said he did want kids some day and that he would want me to birth them (to which I said he better be willing to deal with PPD and pay for in-Vittorio then)

And now out of no where he just says "You know I actually dont think I ever want kids, just nothing good about it. Everytime I see a kid in public I remember how much I dont like them."

So stranger things do happen, guys can change their mind. I sincerely hope my guy stays with that mindset because im willing to be a mother, but i'd still rather not.

>> No.10051965

>crush on a girl in my comm
>gothic lolita/punk lolita
>she looks pretty andro/has some guyish features but i find her hot
>funny,patient,kind and always compliments me
>eventually confess me she's trans before i get a chance to confess when we have a late night convo
what do now? i'm so confused gulls.
Am I weird?

>> No.10051972

Suck his dick.

>> No.10051974

Freak out and beat her to death.

>> No.10051977

Why? What actual difference does it make?
I'm terrified of surgery. Hopefully I can find a guy who doesn't want kids and make him get that dick gel so his cummies won't have sperm in it. Otherwise I think it's as you said, men don't really know what they want, it's okay to lie to them. Not like i'm hurting him or something. It's like hiding spinach in a fruit smoothie and lying to him that it's just kiwi or something, it's ultimately for his benefit.

>> No.10051978

And apparently a few girls in the comm knew and even told me "didnt you see her hands? She always cover herself and use corsets for a reason".
I just didn't see anything...I found her beautiful. I'm honestly about to cry, I want to love her but I feel like people are gonna laugh at me,i used to call trans people delusional and now i fall in love with one, the irony of it all...i feel like maybe i deserve what happened to me

>> No.10051980


>> No.10051981
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>> No.10051983


holy shit at the very least you know you shouldn't have kids because the values you'd teach them would be fucked.

>> No.10051984

do I really have to explain why lying to your partner is a not very nice thing to do? marry someone who has the same values, you dummy baka.

not to mention,
>It should be easy to hide it from him.
he can get his swimmers tested and he'll know his sperm not the problem. sounds like it would be easier just to find someone who wants to be child free

>> No.10051993
File: 1.29 MB, 195x229, come again.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

That last line though.

>> No.10051994

Asides from sissies/creepy "transbians"/transtrenders do you guys actually hate us?

>> No.10051998
File: 411 KB, 1642x464, diamonds_sitting.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

I'm gay and I get Chick-fil-a whenever I travel for cons/conferences. Whatever opinion their CEO holds isn't gonna stop be from getting good cock meat.

>> No.10051999

Fuck off roleplaying tranny. Biological women 99% see when that you're male, especially in real life.

>> No.10052000

>Otherwise I think it's as you said, men don't really know what they want, it's okay to lie to them.

No wait I didnt say that at all though, I said to be honest lol

I was honest with my bf and let him decide if he was willing to get over it and love me for me and it surprisingly worked out.

True though that most men (and women desu) have no clue what they actually want. If you just are firm and confident in your decision they may follow suit.

>> No.10052001

>getting older
>normalfag friends are all looking to get into a relationship since the clock is ticking
>get dragged into their conversations
>realize more and more that I have zero attraction towards 90% of the guys
>realize that IRL girls are just more mature and attractive in every way
Feels weird because, despite being bi, I always thought I liked guys more than girls. But if just turns out that I like 2D guys > RL girls > 2D girls > RL guys.

Lolita related feel: I just bought my first lolita parasol and I'm really excited. Just something about a frilly parasol really screams lolita aesthetics to me. It feels as iconic as the petticoat silhouette.

>> No.10052002

I sit on the train selfish prick style every day, and you can't stop me.
constant whining about your pronouns and muh oppreshun. If not for sjw no one would give a shit if you cut your dick off. just don't call me a shitlord if I don't want to date you.

>> No.10052004

I mean I certainly dont hate anybody as long as youre reasonable and not insane.

I know plenty of just fine trans people that understand im not being malicious if I say the wrong thing sometimes and appreciate that I try at all.

I have also met plenty of trans people that throw a fucking tantrum like a baby when I accidentally call them the wrong pronoun. They can get fucked.

>> No.10052007

I just think it's some sort of illness, whether mental or hormonal. I don't hate though, I don't mind. I can't say I'd date one though.

>> No.10052008

Anon you're replying to and i totally agree desu. I despise sjws for shining such a bad light on us.
Also anyone forcing anyone to date them is creepy as shit

Those are the worst,saw some myself. I'm glad there are people like you though, we really just wanna live our life normally,even if we can never be "real" women.

>> No.10052010
File: 83 KB, 675x883, bortzsha1.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

>you can't stop me.
Why would I when I can play footsie with you?

>> No.10052011

Well,it is. You're actually correct. Dysphoria is a mental illness.

>> No.10052020

If you suffer under serious body dysmorphia and just want to live in peace, nah. But I do hate the retarded misogynist men who think liking feminine things or wanting to get fucked "like a woman" means they are women or they want to be women because they think they'll have it easier in life this way. The ones who view females in the most clichee, superficial way possible aka thinking being a woman = being a stupid bimbo.

>> No.10052022

If you love her,tell her. If you find her beautiful,funny,kind and you enjoy her presence who cares?
You should come clean about the fact that you're apprehending the fact that she's trans

>> No.10052099

>"steroid use"
Steroid use is only what is medically necessary like TRT or HRT or used against muscle wasting like HIV. If you're using steroids to just gain vanity muscle, that's abuse.

Arnold manage to shit out some half-breed mexican in his 50's

Ronnie Coleman has like 6 kids.

Steroids at best will cause temporary medical infertility (80% of more of your sperm is inert) but to achieve permanent and total infertility it borderline unheard of.

>> No.10052102

I don't hate them, they just make me incredibly uncomfortable because I know whenever I'm around them I'm now skating on the thin ice of committing a 'hate crime'.

>> No.10052147

Not necessarily. I respect your right to do what you like with your body and that doesn't bother me at all, but I refuse to participate in your delusions, which can cause conflict.

>> No.10052158

Nope. All trans people I've personally met were pretty chill.

>> No.10052167

I've never encountered a trans person who wasn't 110% cool about their situation. Honestly I'm way more afraid of/resentful towards regular old straight women as they've caused me the most grief of any demographic.
Funnily enough, the only person to ever be offended by me accidentally misgendering/deadnaming somebody was my own sister who has made a habit of surrounding herself almost exclusively with LGBT folks, despite being none of those herself.

>> No.10052669
File: 115 KB, 375x500, E975C972-5876-46AB-921A-0ABB84B8A2A3.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

You’re completely right anon. Thank you. I am recently finding it much more easy to be confident in toned down styles than full fledged OTT sweet lolita fashion. I feel cuter and more at home in my own toned down style though I appreciate the way lolita fashion looks on other people. I feel much happier and less anxious to go out of my house now. I feel like the whole “wear whatever the hell you want Bc fuck society XD!!!” Thing doesn’t really apply to everyone. And that’s okay! I think people should just wear whatever they feel comfortable wearing.

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