/cgl/ - Cosplay & EGL

>tfw no friends
>partner left me over a year ago
>failed at everything I've tried to do since I left highschool
>22 and live at home still. (Not that I can't afford to move out, I just can't stand to live with strangers)
>Depressed, very very very anxious, cutter, BPD psycho
>Only ever leave the house to go to work, university or to buy food
>wake up every morning and I check my phone there's never a single message from someone
>have had some the girls I work with ask me out but I always just give some vague shitty answer about being tired or busy but in reality I'm just scared and don't find them interesting
>Wanted to turn my life around
>tried to get into cosplay because anime, manga and light novels have been the thing keeping me afloat for years
>spent probably over $1000 Australian dollary doos on materials and equipment
>Made the cosplay over and over and over and it just never came out right
>Made the prop 6 times
>Made the full costume 3 times
>Throw everything away in a fit of rage and just cry a lot because I really wanted to have it be perfect and have people approach me, to have them be happy to be around me and have my hard work appreciated and to meet people who have the same passions and loves as me
>[maybe even find another gf]

At least j fash and anime will never disappoint me but I feel very empty inside having no one to share anything with. But then I'm scared to get involved with anyone because they'll find out I'm a legitimate psycho and leave me. Also I find it difficult to find people who genuinely care about my interests, most just seem superficial or try to fake the interest because they want to get close to me.

It's a literal REEEEEEEEEEEEE moment because I know I'm a pretty okay looking guy and I want someone who I can be kind to, take care of, share my world with and to also have them take care of me but my fucking brain refuses to let that happen. Anyone else relate?

why do girls have to be so cute and smell so good

ban all girls with BFs from AX forever pls

>>9931541
THAT FEEL WHEN NO GF TO BULLY HER TO THE POINT OF FUCKING CRYING AND THEN KISS HER TEAR STAINED CHEEKS

>>9920122
>tfw no cosplay gf that makes me play vidya or watch anime we her to choose our next cosplay

>>9897346
Life hurts anon. It really does. I feel I am wasting the best years of my life and my romantic youth just fantasizing about some cosplay girl in America. I just can't bring myself to like any of these girls.

>the one my age is just really boring and lazy
>The one 4 years my juniour is too prim and proper (I think she's just trying to act mature around me)
>the one 10 years my senior is just the biggest air head I've ever met
>Another one my age is a literal whore and works at a brothel in her spare time

None of them have the body, face or personality I like. They're not unattractive in a conventional sense just not for me. It causes so much stress because I don't want to hurt them but I'm too autistic to let them down. I just want to hold a cute girl again and kiss her awake in the morning.