/cgl/ - Cosplay & EGL

>this evening, walking into my bedroom and see a pretty shade of red on my bed
>oh wow that’s pretty, wonder where it came from
>looks out the window, sees three firetrucks and an ambulance and police cars
>think what the heck?
>EMTs are loading a lady in her early 40s onto a stretcher
>they quickly put on an oxygen mask, attach some sort of pulsating compression thing that’s going up and down on her stomach
>rush her into the ambulance and everyone starts to leave except for a few police officers
>think “dang” and work on the computer for a few hours
>notices while working a guy is kinda standing outside the window and down below waiting
>he’s been there a while, but think nothing of it
>an hour later, notice he’s now talking to some police officers and he’s signing a few papers
>two police officers/social workers (what appeared to be) pull him over to the side and say something to him
>he breaks down and starts weaping uncontrollably in the parking
>realize they had just told him his wife had just passed away

I spent the rest of the night bawling my eyes out, it was so sad. Honestly, at any given moment someone could give me the news that my spouse or parent has passed away, any given moment.
I almost wish I was born into this life without people I care about, and honestly I would rather die than going through the death of the few people I find close.
And what’s the point living now? Knowing it all WILL come crashing down? Knowing I will HAVE to also go through what that man had to? I really don’t have the motivation to live anymore.