/cgl/ - Cosplay & EGL

Really want to go to a IDL/general lolita meet but i don't have any local friends and i'm scared of going alone because i have severe anxiety and my hands shake
It's really annoying because i don't notice the shaking myself (have it as a ptsd syptom and i'm used to living with it, but i've almost given up traditional drawing) and someone always goes like "why do your hands shake so much??" or "oh don't be scared!!"
I get even more nervous and selfconscious when someone points it out

How am i supposed to drink tea and be elegant with (potential) friends like this?

Tfw sitting home doing nothing halloweenish. No cosplay, no candy, no decorations, no friends.
Maybe i should cry myself to sleep so the day will be over faster.

I was really looking forward for today too...