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/cgl/ - Cosplay & EGL

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>> No.9875017 [View]
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9875017

Hey guys, you probably don’t remember me since I haven’t posted in a long time, but it’s ED anon from awhile back, I figured I’d post an update if anyone cares to read. Within the last two months I’ve lost over 20 pounds, putting me in the underweight category. I still feel really fat especially since my waist is 26 inches (still too big for some old school), it’s not really just feeling fat though, a lot of it is lack of control and low self esteem in general. I’ve been going to therapy once a week and it helps a little but not much. Generally I’m eating around 500 calories a day and it’s killing me, I’m so tired and weak, but if I eat more I just feel terrible. I just want to be cute like all the other Lolitas. I think once I get down to my goal weight I’ll be happy but I know I’m just lying to myself, and at a BMI of 16 I’d be even less healthy than I am now. I’m just so done with feeling like this, I can already see my bones why can’t that be enough. I wish I could stop and just be happy, but I’m only happy when I’m starving.

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