/cgl/ - Cosplay & EGL

I just want like a lolita bestie, I feel so lonely sometimes. I'm a mod to my comm and all but considering I live in a small country, our comm is small. Also, all the members live far apart from each other, and I'm pretty sure I'm the farthest one from the rest, and they treat lolita as sort of a part time thing. I do get along with another mod really well because she has a similar way of seeing lolita as I do and a super cute style, but she also lives far. Any online friend I make eventually break ties with me too. And none of the friends I have nearby or online currently are interested in lolita either. I just want someone to talk about lolita shit, whether it be comm gossip, recent releases, whatever. I just want someone relatable in my life.

Do you guys have any lolita insecurities you'd like to share?

I have a couple, but one that bothers me a lot are my boobs. My breasts are around 96 cm (a D cup). I'm actually really happy with my breast size and would not get a reduction, but my mindset on my boobs highkey changes when it comes to lolita. It's hard to find burando blouses that fit and I love OPs, which sucks because most won't fit and if I manage to squeeze in them I get the dreaded boobloaf. Sports bras work but they just make the boobloaf more prominent. It sucks because I can fit on my burando things with any other body part except my boobs, unless it has shirring. And I'm not even plus size, yet I have to check "plus size" blouses for lolita cause boobs. It makes me feel like a land whale sometimes and I wish boobs were fucking detachable so I can take them off when it's lolita time.

>meet amazing woman through multi-comm event
>become friends
>are exactly each other's type
>reject her when she confesses attraction to me because my PTSD and disorganized attachment prevent healthy intimacy
>feel guilty about breaking her heart
>yet relieved I did not start another romantic relationship out of fear of saying no
>tfw no lolita gf because it's the right thing to do