/cgl/ - Cosplay & EGL

I can never vent too much. I'm starting to lose myself again. I had to leave a friends house last night. I don't know what set myself off. I think it's just built up again. I just went to a dark parking lot and cried in my car for a bit and stayed there for about 2 hours. I didn't want to go home because I was scared I would turn to pills and drinking again. So I just went and had my breakdown alone til my thoughts calmed down.

I hate myself so much I tend to want to do things to mess it up more. I really don't want to end up in a mental hospital or dead so I keep it to myself and put myself away from things that I will want to use. Last time I went off the edge i ended up cutting my face a little bit. Thankfully not enough to scar.