/cgl/ - Cosplay & EGL

>want courage to go to lolita meets
>want courage to go out anywhere and not feel like shit
>finally figured out I have ADD on top of my obvious social anxiety
>waiting list for psychiatrist that take my insurance is 6+ months long
>my anxiety + inability to function like a normal person is causing me to be depressed
>and occasionally contemplate death
>I wouldn't ever kill myself, and I KNOW I don't have depression
>but this shit it literally making me hate myself
>there is a crooked doctor I just found out about that basically gives out meds if you just ask
>this could help me out SO much
>mfw I'm too anxious to go to his walk-in clinic

SHIT.
FUCK.

I've taken Adderall xr before, but the come down makes me act ridiculously angry and aggressive.
Maybe I'll try Vyvanse?
Shit, I don't know what to ask for.

>tfw the only lolita you have, both regular skirts, are tea length
>tfw you have to hike up the petti to boobs
>tfw midget
>tfw you will never afford based short AP

>boyfriend encourages me to exercise for cosplay
>slowly getting to qt waif body
>but wait
>binge eater
>surrounded by food-cultured family
>pic related, what they're doing to me
>could easily reach goal in two weeks if I ate normally
>instead would take months

I can't wait to move out again in a few weeks so I can restrict my food supply again.