/cgl/ - Cosplay & EGL

I feel like I am trapped in a cycle of consumption leading to attempts at creation which leave me feeling defeated and unfulfilled. The only thing I really have going for me as a person is my tendency toward "quirky" hobbies among the sea of weird hybrid redneck hipster people where I live.

My eccentric personality isn't winning me any friendship contests, and even at my best I still present as disheveled. My eyebags are like ten pound weights.

If I truly applied myself to one or two things then maybe I could excel at something, or create something of my own, but I can't ever seem to stick to anything. I'm always admiring the creations of others, be it shows or games or prints.

People like me and I don't want them to. My life is defined by my avoidant addiction to the internet, my expenditures on weaboo items and my love of playing dress up. I want to stay alive so I can continue being entertained, but I provide nothing. Is that really okay? I just don't want to be in the way. I guess that doesn't make a lot of sense.