/cgl/ - Cosplay & EGL

I hate going to conventions because I see people who are happy and know I'll never be happy
But cosplaying lets me temporarily escape from reality for a few days so I continue to go
I just wish I could have a gf but I'm ugly, inside and out.

>>10794485
You're doing good
Every time I've went to a con I've had girls approach me, compliment me, and try to start a conversation every day of the con
I just brush them off
Being sane is more important than being attractive

I went to fanexpo Dallas by myself today and it was honestly the worst day I have ever experienced in my life. And I'm not saying that lightly in any way. I just. I don't fucking know. I put on a lazy cosplay with a decent ready made wig I styled, and just fucking walked around. I didn't say a word to anyone. People asked me to let them take a picture of me or to let a friend take a picture of them with me like 10 times maybe since it's a relatively popular anime but I just couldn't understand how it was supposed to feel good to me that people wanted a picture of me and what they would get out of having a picture of me. I walked around and watched people buy things, watched ugly guys try to hit on girls and ask them for their numbers. I just walked and walked and felt nothing except confusion and disgust.

But by far the absolute worst part of the entire day was when I was waiting in line and this cute girl in a cosplay I didn't recognize seemed like she was waiting for me to talk to her. I mean, she practically stood behind my shoulder almost touching me while staring at me for a few minutes. And I just ignored her, I put every effort into making it seem like I didn't notice her. And the last look I got of her face she was biting her cheek and looking at me with this expression I can't get out of my head. And then not even 5 minutes later I see her just walk to the exit and leave. I was at the con the entire day after that walking around and didn't see her once. And you know. I want to believe that it was just a coincidence and it was all in my head. But I don't think it's likely. I wanted to talk to her, I just honestly couldn't think of a reason she would want me to talk to her. I don't like myself and people who show any kind of interest in me scare me because I can't understand them at all.