/cgl/ - Cosplay & EGL

Maybe I'm just dumb for feeling this way.
>terrible at speaking up and getting into social groups
>as a result often feels forgotten
>cosplay comm no exception
>think I can get closer to and friends with some photographers who I've known since last year
>said photogs seem to suck up to cosfamous more
>feel happy for my photog friends since they're moving up in their profession, but also sad because I feel as if I'll never be "enough" for them to treat me as they treat cosfamous
>feels bad too because I realize how selfish I feel and sound and feel like maybe i'm just whoring for attention
>yet I never can really say anything since i myself am really nothing in the big picture that is the cosplay comm
I really hate that I feel this way sometimes...it would be better to speak up I guess but I feel as if I'll be looked down upon.