/cgl/ - Cosplay & EGL

Fuuuuck, fine here goes nothing...
For reasons I dont want to get into too much detail, but can be easily figured out, I've been seriously considering marrying out of convenience with a guy who really likes me.
He isnt too bad himself; good job, new car, nice overall, doesnt mind my lolita fashion and other geeky stuff, sweet and caring. Im just not that physically attracted to him, and he's not that good at sex, but I do enjoy having conversations with him and stuff.
Also, I still have deep feelings for my ex although he was physically and emotionally abusive several times. I still see myself marrying him instead but no chance for that.