/cgl/ - Cosplay & EGL

After having to suddenly halt my psychiatry appointments and antidepressant regimen six months ago due to money problems, my depression and suicidal tendencies have finally come back full force. For awhile I actually felt good, like maybe the antidepressants had actually "cured" me, but I guess that was too good to last. Doesn't help that with my depression comes complete and total lack of motivation, so those extra 15 pounds I managed to lose this year are almost all back on my body. That only makes me feel worse, but I can't be arsed to stop eating fucking shit.

First step to being healthier is gonna have to start with my mind, but fuck it if I even know when I'll be able to go back to a doctor. I have a kitten who needs flea medication and to be spayed, Christmas presents to buy, and a goddamn live in boyfriend who can't find a job. We're actually both moving in with my mother due to home issues for a few months so hopefully we can catch up on what we need to pay for and he can find work, but I still can't see me being comfortable enough to get my damn prescription renewed till at least next year. It's all I want in the world rn.

>related story
>was at fiction writing class yesterday
>wrote about suicide
>class discusses it, their takes on it and concrit and w/e
>teacher points out that a lot of the crit is coming from the fact that suicidal tendencies are impossible for most people to understand
>mfw I always forget it's not considered normal to think about offing yourself everyday