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/cgl/ - Cosplay & EGL

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>> No.10164068 [View]
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10164068

>Been living with PTSD for years
>Lolita has always been a distraction for me that helps me keep my mind busy with constantly shopping, brainstorming coord ideas, trying on clothes, etc.
>Suddenly dad who's been absent since pre-teen years finds me on facebook and messages me asking to meet
>Immediately get PTSD triggered and fall into an emotional rut that I can't get out of
>This was new year's day, it's almost halfway into the year and I was still in the rut
>Lolita hardly keeps me distracted anymore, can never get the energy to dress up or look for deals or anything
>Missed out on dream dress I've been hunting for about a year while in this state
>Feel like all is hopeless and like the one thing that I actually love has finally been taken away from me and I have nothing to keep my mind from snapping anymore
>Friend gives me LSD saying it'll help
>He watches over me while I trip, has me write feelings down and records some of my monologues
>Go down some weird rabbit hole on youtube and discover music genres that I fall in love with while tripping
>Rediscover my love of lolita
>Realize that I'm putting too much blame on my father for something he couldn't actually protect me from
>Have motivation to go back to school
>Tell this all to my therapist who just kinda nods smiling and tells me that she wishes it was a legal substance because this isn't the first time she's heard of something similar

What the fuck, guys? I've been on a cocktail of PTSD medications my entire life that have varied from being ineffective to just barely working. You're telling me some fuckin squares of paper were what I needed instead? I'm just so happy that I was able to discover this. Like, don't get me wrong it's not like I'm "cured" or don't have things to work on but this was the largest boost I've had emotionally in forever.

It really felt like a lifechanging experience. I probably took too much for a first time because it felt overwhelming at times but maybe that's what I needed.

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