/cgl/ - Cosplay & EGL

>>9338940
I kinda know the feel anon.
>now 25
>three years ago
>start at 240
>get down to 160 by jogging three miles everyday and using college's gym for weights
>bf moves in, graduate, new stomach condition basically imitated binging/bulimia since I couldn't keep things down
>depression, anxiety, bf enabling, bring back bad eating habits, sedentary job
>slowly gain weight over a year but artificial bulimia keeps me from really exploding
>stomach gets fixed
>gain 60 pounds in less than half a year
>somewhere in the 250-260 range now
>try to see doc about it and prescribes anxiety pills that have side effect of weight loss
>can't afford them at $120 a month
>try to see therapist covered by employer
>it's a 400 pound bitch who ditched me once for Bojangles and avoided the subject when I brought up feelings about weight
>give up trying to get "professional" help
>fattest I've ever been
>embarassed to wear anything lolita
>bf sees my misery and promises to go to filthy apartment gym with me
>can't even jog on treadmill for more than five minutes straight
>hear something crack in my foot
>tendon pain in foot
>bf basically doesn't commit and I'm stuck doing everything by myself anyway

I'm struggling, badly. Food is my only comfort in my life. I'm considering gastric bypass and financing for a full body tuck. Every ~3 year cycle I rebound super hard.