/cgl/ - Cosplay & EGL

>been friends with this guy since forever
>we talk and see each other every day
>sorta develop a crush on him
>one day he starts telling me how cute I am
> s-senpai?!!
>tells me he has feelings for me
> "Ahh, I feel so awful'
>Why?
>"My gf wouldn't like this...so can we just pretend it never happened? I'm sorry"
> tell him we can be friends
> get over him
> two weeks later he starts cuddling me and hugging me every chance he gets
>"You are so cute, anon!"
> b-but senpai...what about gf?
> "Oh yeah...shit I'm sorry. I'm such a terrible person"
>get angry and tell myself I won't let him do it again, as much as he makes my kokoro doki
>at party one night, everyone's drinking and watching horrible netflix anime
>he sits next to me, snuggling up next to me
>in mental battle, because I secretly love it, but I can't let him hurt his gf
>party is over, we shared the same car ride
>he puts his arm around me as we drive, me
>go home and cry

I hate myself so much. I need to stop enabling him, but I can't bring myself to. I don't know what to do. I asked him to knock it off, but we just keep doing it. I know he's gross for even thinking of cheating on his 4 year gf, but I can't stop thinking about us together. Idk what to do.