/cgl/ - Cosplay & EGL

>Shoot with photog last year at con, really like the pictures I got back
>Same con is coming up, message them a few weeks ago and again recently asking when they'll be opening slots
>They open their bookings today
>Tripled their price from last year, I can no longer afford them
>RIP

>Buy a cute, old school JSK a few months ago
>It's the final piece I need to make a simple coord
>Want more than anything to wear it for a nice day out on my birthday this week
>Everyone in my current life is judgmental and harsh, too afraid of what they'd all say

I don't understand why I care so much. When I was younger and had horrible fashion taste I very much had the mindset of "It's my life, who cares what others think if it doesnt hurt them?" but now so much of my self worth is invested in other peoples opinions of me and I am terrified to enjoy the things I do.

>Looking for a certain style of shoe everywhere
>Go to Marshalls, which I'd never been to before
>Find the cutest purse that would be perfect for a cosplay I've been meaning to redo, as well as toned down enough for everyday use
>$60
>Can't justify it to myself right now
>Forget to check brand before leaving
>I'm never going to see that beautiful bag again

>Make ultimatum for myself: If you don't do cosplay stuff today, you work out, and vice versa
>Tell myself this everyday
>Workin' out and feeling great, choose exercising because I'm afraid of messing up cutting or sewing
>.. none of my cosplays are going to get done
I know I have to get them done, but as a chronic fuck-up I'm always terrified of cutting pieces in case I do, in fact, mess up majorly.

I've put on so much weight recently, 20lbs in the last 6 months alone.
Things have been so shitty in my life I lost control over my body because I was too distracted and now I feel like a cow. I spend so much time looking in the mirror and hating what I see.
I'm going to lose at least 30lbs before my next con, I can't stand being like this anymore. I want to look cute in all my clothes again and be able to wear shorts again next summer.

>>7210250
>Mfw, I suffer from depression, and I'm married.

The crappy part about being in a relationship where one of you are suffering from depression. You’re depressed, and your partner tries to help you, because they don’t like seeing you depressed, and you know they’re trying to help and you get more depressed because you feel useless and a burden to them, and then they’re getting upset that they can’t help you, and you’re getting upset because they’re getting upset, and then you get more depressed because you upset your S/O and it just keeps being a cycle of depression and disappointment.