/cgl/ - Cosplay & EGL

this is not copypasta, just never had an excuse to post it

>be me
>parents invite newish gf and me to their murder mystery dinner
>mom is a costumer, so costumes are req'd
>theme is 50s

>day before party
>gf and i break up
>she decides to still go to party bc she promised or whatever

>party is corny af
>all parents' mormon church friends
>they think they're funny, but can't handle even the mildest suggestive content in the game
>newly-ex gf phones it in

>finish murder mystery, winding down
>knock on door, sister goes to answer
>anon, there's someone here named xxxx
>who the- oh shit
>it's my newly-ex gf's ex
>who is technically still married to my newly-ex gf
>also they have a son together
>and still live together
>also he's a lawyer with a gang background that's half my height and 10x more /fit/
>my parents don't know any of this

>walk to door
>"what are you doing here"
>btw i am dressed as a 50s greaser with a jojo tier pompadour
>he draws me out to porch, starts bouncing around the lawn trying to get me to fight
>i don't fight
>as i'm continuing to strafe away from his lunges "im gonna call the cops"
>"THEN DO IT"
>"...im calling the cops"
>call the cops
>newly-ex gf comes out and gets in front of him "wtf are you doing"
>she is dressed in a poodle skirt
>parents' church friends start coming out to see what's happening, have to get awkwardly pushed back in by senpai

>after like an hour, he finally realizes that the party he thought he'd be crashing is not a drunken bro fest where he could goad me and my m8s into fisticuffs
>and cops will be there any minute
>his lawyer senses come crashing down
>he finally awkwardly sulks away
>i am still dressed as a 50s greaser with a jojo tier pompadour