/cgl/ - Cosplay & EGL

First let's have my /cgl/ feels
>tfw I want to cosplay and act like certain characters
>tfw too ugly to be like those characters and would just come off as someone who's autistic
>tfw just stay inside and keep to myself like I should

Now for my personal life bitching

>Been teaching myself how to play the piano for a year now
>I can play some things alright and can play one of my favorite songs
>The song that I just recently learned is beautiful in every way to me, the instruments, the singer, the lyrics
>Suddenly, after listening to the song again, I feel disgusted with myself, I feel like what I play isn't good enough.
>People tell me it's a beautiful song
>I feel like anyone who hears me play this song is cheated out of what is really in the song
>I feel sad and ashamed that I can't give people the same feeling that I have for the original through my rendition.

I don't know, I think I might just have something wrong with me, Depression, Bipolar, etc.. I don't talk to anyone how I feel about this, I don't know what's wrong with me, I feel like I'm just crazy, like I'm some dumb fucking perfectionist that will never be satisfied with themselves. I'm also a bit drunk while I'm writing this, so that may be contributing to this. For anyone interested in the song, it's "Tsubasa Wo Kudasai" from Evangelion 2.22. I'm gonna go to sleep and clear my head.

>>8064073
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EIVgSuuUTwQ