/cgl/ - Cosplay & EGL

>Lent my mom about a thousand dollars a year ago, before going part-time for school and losing most of my income
>it's okay, though, I don't need the money and I know she's struggling
>year later, not a cent, but she's buying expensive lingerie and dresses
>feel like crap - literally less important to her than underwear, but okay
>for context, mom is crap with money, perpetually skint and I used to loan her money the week before payday every month
>big event up in May, gonna buy lots of brand, a thousand dollars would be really nice
>bring it up to mom, explain how it made me feel that repaying her broke student daughter was less important than another goddamn bra
>breakthrough happens, we both cry, feels good - this had been affecting our awesome relationship on my end, I have my mom back
>agree payment plan, won't get much in time for event, but she promises I won't even need to bring it up again
>week later, "this month will be hard, switching from agency to contract staff means payday changes, so getting half of the usual salary"
>offer that it can wait, of course, super chill
>...turns out she bought a $50 dollar bikini and got her bellybutton pierced like a week later, won't shut up about it
>trying to give the benefit of the doubt, like that the bikini was with the loyalty card she has with that shop (see above bra shopping), and I know her bff got a tattoo, could have offered to pay for it in exchange for company and hand-holding
>trying desperately to fool myself, can see my AATP haul slipping away, feels bad
>on phone call tonight, mom's talking about how bills will be hard this month, let alone food
>fuck

She's my mom, I love her to bits and I don't want her going hungry, but fuck, I want to cry right now. She knows about this event, knows I've been looking forward to it all year, and knows that losing that money is something I'll be feeling for years. But I'm too sphagetti to start the actual fight, so I'll just weep over AATP there, I guess.