/cgl/ - Cosplay & EGL

>>10403064
>not knowing candyass roodypoo

I wish mods would care. This board has been nothing but shit upon shit since 2013-2014. Even having a million koots threads was better than this shit.

>>10360073
Unironically thinking of starting a streaming channel on twitch. I decluttered pre-quarantine and sold a lot of stuff so I was thinking of buying equipment for it since I already own a great PC. Been having a bit of Dark Souls appetite lately too.


I'll probably get around to drawing again within a week since I did so much OT at my "business essential" job that they're forced to give me the week off.

I don't know how to start this and it's long but
>life sucks for actual reasons, depression, physical issues, no real supportive family or friends
>only dog, which I never see
>bf is main support and I've loved him for the past 5 years, he's only loved me for 2
>he acts like it's 5 & pretend that bad times in ~3 years didn't happen which hurts me
>he's kind of self-absorbed and doesn't try to fix problems even though he acknowledges and feels bad for them
>I do all the emotional work but he buys things (that I don't ask for) for me so everyone thinks he's #1, even me
>school is too much with demanding job and family needs
>lost my nonno in the summer and still haven't had time to sit and cry about it
>still persevere, push body beyond limits to meet everyone's needs
>got bad last week, sick, school deadlines close in, bf and parents too overbearing
>try to talk about all this with bf, says 'oh' then switches to his problems and doesn't listen when I try to help
>really dejected and just broken
>childhood friend comes back into life and takes me out one night
>probably the most genuine fun and happiness I've experienced all year
>didn't want the night to end because it would be back to usual and scared I was gonna drive him away
>people always tell me this, even bf jokes that no one but him could put up with me so really nervous all night
>even though I'm spaghetti he says he had a good time too, feel even happier
>drives me home then says he wants to kiss me, nicest way any person I’ve known asked (past guys would just do it w/o asking, which hurt)
>didn't mention bf all night because don't know if appropriate and never assume that anyone that great likes me like that
>my heart just completely sinks, I really want to, feel miserable/guilty that I want to, because bf
>he mentions the look on my face, feel even worse because he mistakes all this for me being uncomfortable
>don't kiss him, tell him about bf, go inside and cry all night
(1/2)