/cgl/ - Cosplay & EGL

I have such low self esteem to the point where it keeps me from doing what I want.

>Been wanting to cosplay for years
>Afraid I'll just end up on the board as a cosplay fail and have everyone laugh at me
>I look in the mirror and see a foot face
>My eyes look wonked out, my nose looks huge, my lips look crooked whenever I look in the mirror
>Been bullied so much for my fucking fat nose
>Whenever I was out with my sister, she was called the beauty and no one said anything to me
>I was just seen as her sister
>I was the ugly one
>Been a shut in for many years now due to social anxiety
>Afraid of everyone judging me when they see me because I am overweight and consider myself an eyesore
>Dropped 70 pounds, 10 pounds away from being healthy apparently, but I still see myself as this fat landwhale
>First boyfriend dumped me after a single day
>oh man, am I really that unattractive?
>Mom claims I'm pretty, tells me that my siblings and even my sister's husband think I'm beautiful
>if that's the case why hasn't anyone said anything to my face? I don't believe you, moms are suppose to say their kids are nice looking
>have had a couple online relationships, all of which never saw a full picture of me
>meet a guy online
>he's a shut in like myself
>Shows me a picture of himself
>He's handsome as fuck, I'm shocked
>Claims my personality is great, that my shyness is cute
>I'm afraid that once he sees me he'll think I'm disgusting and dump me
>Show him my picture after so many attempts at getting one
>He's the first person to call me gorgeous in my entire life
>Feel my heart a-flutter
>he must be lying. I'm overweight, I have a gigantic nose and ugly smile
>Goes on about how he thinks I'm lying about thinking I'm unattractive
>Feel good for the first time in a long time
>Start to wonder if he's just saying this because he doesn't want me to feel bad

I hate this. I wish I could see what these people apparently see. I know it sounds pathetic, but I want to see myself as pretty

>>7249197
what about the children?

>>7113002
sounds like you're trying to be beckii cruel or dakota