/cgl/ - Cosplay & EGL

Depresso incoming.
I just graduated, and I loved my school beyond all reasonable measures. Without it I feel som empty inside and my overblown uncertainty about the future makes me unstable as fuck. (I thought the university would release their preliminaries in June, but fuck me it's July.) Skimming through some poetry I got as a gift had me laughing one line and breaking down crying the next. I feel so fucked up.

While in school I lost all time and dedication to cosplay. I still included it as my major hobby, held speeches about it for assignments, but just wasn't productive. After graduation I ought to power up and finally start again... But I'm just stuck moping about and consuming media instead.

I had one flash of happiness with the hobby when my little sister asked me to style her wig. She had it on, I cut and styled it, made a mess, cleaned up, talked all the while and laughed a lot. I'm not into the series, but praised her for picking a cute character, etc. It was fun. I still love cosplay.

There's just the deep chasm of not finding a want to work on my own projects. I've got materials for some just lying there waiting, but I'm so dead inside. To boot it off I'm feeling ugly compared to all the active cosplay girls in my social network. Right now they're tagging eachother on a "what are the next 10 cosplays you'll do" or whatever, and I can't even fathom the thought. Ten more? My cosplanner has seven and I want to delete three of those.

Bless /cgl/ for existing for rants like these. Reaching out on fb would just make the pretty girls bless me with a hugbox, and I don't want that. I want to feel a fire within myself again. Ready to cry now, bye.